Comics 1272-1281: Over Nine Thousand Reviews

1272. This might be funny if there were more than two facts about shadows. F
1273. It's funny because Randy's job is basically producing shitty infographics. F
1274. One of the things I've always thought was absurd about conspiracy theories is they are usually espoused primarily by morons, and if there really is such a huge conspiracy going on, the morons probably wouldn't know about it. (Also, if there were huge conspiracies running the world, the world wouldn't be so terrible.) B-
1275. LOLRANDUMB F
1276. Noted webcartoonist Randall Munroe once wrote a comic about how shitty infographics are terrible. I concur wholeheartedly. F
1277. The joke here is literally that Ayn Rand's last name is also the first syllable of the word "random." F
1278. Here is a comprehensive list of fucks that I give: (intentionally blank) F
1279. Randall Munroe, observational wizard! F
1280. See also the review for comic 1278. F
1281. Yes, and? F

Comics 1265-1271: GOOMHR

1265. I find people who talk about juicers annoying, and this still isn't funny. D+
1266. lolprogramming F
1267. This is getting back to the old GOOMH-bait I used to like back when I was an xkcd fanboy. C+
1268. More GOOMH-bait! Delicious spiders. C+
1269. Do not care. D+
1270. lolprogramming 2: revenge of lolprogramming F
1271. Still more GOOMH-bait. Not as good as the other two GOOMH-baits sampled here. C-

Comics 1259-1264: BEEEEEEES

1259. Am I alone in thinking that little drawing is creepy? C-
1260. Yeah, no. F
1261. Wouldn't it be hilarious if someone took a dance song's euphemism literally? Oh wait, no, it wouldn't. Thanks, Randy. F
1262. An interesting thought ruined by a terrible execution: The Randall Munroe Story. D
1263. You've done this before, Randy. It wasn't clever then. F
1264. Nobody cares. F

Comics 1251-1258: I Have Literally No Memory Of Reading Any Of These

1251. So. Boring. F
1252. See previous comment. F
1253. Did you know that people on the Internet are stupid? It's true! Fun fact: Randall Munroe is a person on the Internet. D-
1254. Back to the mind-numbingly boring. F
1255. It would be kind of entertaining if kids were taught that Columbus's discovery led to an era of genocide and exploitation from which some of the affected cultures would never recover. C-
1256. No. F
1257. Stringing a bunch of cliches together does not a comic make. F
1258. This might be more amusing if it were actually true. (No it wouldn't.) F

Comics 1244-1250, Probably: Some Words

1244. This is literally nothing more than Randall saying 'hey, I am aware of this game that people play.' F
1245. Eh. U
1246. Lately I feel like Randy is slowly coming unhinged. C
1247. Like, why is this even supposed to be funny? K
1248. But all of these seem to be about how Randall has given up on the real world. Y
1249. Like this. This is the sort of thing a man writes when he has no hope. O
1250. And I hope dearly that this is his sign-off from the internet, and not just some more lolrandumb humor. U

Comic 1243: Snare Me A Joke

1243. It's like Randy thought 'oh man what if there was a giant butterfly net to catch the ISS?' and didn't actually think it through at all. See, the answer is 'it would be caught in a net.' That's it. Nothing remotely amusing would happen. And you can tell he knows, deep down in his tiny black heart, that it's not funny, because he tried to make the scheme sound funny by having Black Hat Guy there! He failed, of course, as he fails at all things. F

Comics 1229-1232: One Hundred Percent Sincere

1229. Jokes about the starfield screensaver that has been with Windows since at least Windows 3.1 are totally novel, Randy! Well done! A+

1230. I have literally never even considered the possibility that someone might make a joke about the shape of a graph! This is a true stroke of genius! A+

1231. Hahaha! It would be extremely hilarious if someone were to do this in real life! Does this man's imagination (and the attendant comic genius) know no bounds? A+

1232. This one kind of sucks. F

Comics 1224-1228: Inexplicable

1224. What is even the point of this? F
1225. What is even the point of this? F
1226. What is even the point of this? F
1227. What is even the point of this? F
1228. What is even the point of this? F

Comics 1220-1223: Recursively Terrible

1220. No. F
1221. I like to imagine he tried really hard to actually have a "Who's the Doctor / Doctor Who" Abbot and Costello-style routine but ultimately failed, so he just tried to hint that, if you had only been there ten seconds before, you would have seen some wacky hijinks. F
1222. You should probably be worrying more, Randy. Most of what you do is terrible. F
1223. I actually kind of liked this one. B+

Comics Whatever to Whatever: Who Even Cares

1208. Someone's been reading House of Leaves again. F
1209. Lame. F
1210. I'm interpreting this as a scathing self-critique, and not as the shitfest it actually is. A+
1211. Hasn't he done this exact same thing before? F
1212. Is it poster time already? F
1213. Randy must have recently discovered a fun way to produce blocks of random numbers. It isn't interesting to anyone else, Randy. F
1214. Slightly better than everything else I reviewed in this post. D-
1215. Handy tips for pretending to have an opinion, from the master of bad opinions. F
1216. Normally I'd say Randy's been reading the blog, but it's not like I update anymore. F
1217. And? F
1218. Lol what is the elvish word for frenemy closed the door? F
1219. Your idea is bad, and you should feel bad. F

Comic 1207: Trollin' Trollin' Trollin'

1207. I've always wanted to get a tattoo that just says 'you are wrong', and whenever I'm talking to people just roll up my sleeve and look at them expectantly. B

Comic 1198: Ugh Who Cares

1198. I do not get it, at all. F-

In other news, it has come to my attention that the old IRC link is broken for some reason! So try this new one instead.

Comic 1190: Time To Find A Better Webcomic

[Alt text: Wait for it.]

Apparently this has been updating itself every half hour or so. The first several updates were just Randy and Megan sitting on a hill, moving around slightly. It took forever for them to start actually building their sand castle or whatever.

I just wanted to go on record that this would be a lot better, conceptually, if it weren't so incredibly uninteresting. Watching stick figures build a sand castle is not interesting, and it certainly isn't so interesting that I want to wait two days to see the finished product.

Comics 1177-1182: Randy Sucks

1177. Randy, you really, really suck at existential horror. F
1178. Randy, you really, really suck at making your contrived jokes actually work. F
1179. Randy, you really, really suck at not reusing your jokes. F
1180. Randy, you really, really suck at not being an elitist fuck. F
1181. Randy, you really, really suck at making jokes that anyone cares about. F
1182. Randy, you really, really suck at everything, ever. F

Comics 1170-1176: Time Cube

1170. Randy is really fond of rehashing really obvious jokes. F

1171. Also really old ones. F

1172. lol linux D+

1173. Randy is totally cool with Lance Armstrong. C-

1174. Randy is also pretty fond of using his own jokes over again. F

1175. Why? F

1176. Every now and then, Randy posts a comic about why he hates people. As a weird misanthropic recluse myself I should get behind it, but he's trying to make it sound so profound. D-

Comics 1165-1169: I'll Save You, Randy!

1165. Did you know that Amazon originally refers to a rainforest and/or river? Randy does! F

1166. Did you know the idea of a perpetual motion machine defies the laws of thermodynamics as we currently understand them? Randy does! F

1167. Did you know that Wikipedians like to argue about pointless shit like capitalization? Randy does! F

1168. Did you know that Randy likes to invent scenarios in which I fail to save the day and therefore cause everyone to die, over and over and over again? Randy does! F

1169. Did you know that you can use Google Maps to look at the planet? Randy does! F

Comics 1160-1164: Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

1160. Contrived as most of my jokes. F
1161. Uh, okay. F
1162. I have no opinion on this at all. C
1163. Brains: they suck! C
1164. I like how the old man in this is the same figure he uses to draw RMS. C

Comics 1154-1159: Bad Resolution

You clamored for more Rob, so here are the always hotly anticipated reviews:

1154. Randy is taking the bold stance that New Year's resolutions are frequently not successful! F for being dumb.

1155. Did Randy ever tell you how quirky he is? He is so quirky. F for being dumb.

1156. Did Randy ever tell you how quirky he is? He is so quirky. F for being dumb.

1157. Did Randy ever tell you how quirky he is? He is so quirky. F for being dumb.

1158. Did Randy ever tell you how quirky he is? He is so quirky. F for being dumb.

1159. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to find amusing here. F for being dumb.