Friday, July 26, 2013

Comic 1243: Snare Me A Joke

1243. It's like Randy thought 'oh man what if there was a giant butterfly net to catch the ISS?' and didn't actually think it through at all. See, the answer is 'it would be caught in a net.' That's it. Nothing remotely amusing would happen. And you can tell he knows, deep down in his tiny black heart, that it's not funny, because he tried to make the scheme sound funny by having Black Hat Guy there! He failed, of course, as he fails at all things. F

68 comments:

  1. One day, someone really sad and depressed, who has been thinking about suicide for months, will read a particularly bad xkcd and will kill himself. Not because of the comic per se, but it will confirm what he thinks about life: dull and boring and unfunny. It was just what he needed to let go.

    Hey, it's possible, right?! And then, all you have done here on this site will be justified. You will be a hero, Rob. Everyone will praise you and love you. Just like all of us here.

    Except it won't happen. We do not love you. You are a failure. No one will miss you. Kill yourself.

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    1. I am disappointed, you didn't do the killing-yourself thing. I didn't expect to find such worthy an opponent in you. In fact, gosh I hate to say that, but...you're the man, Rob!!

      Except not. I lied again. Blow your fucking head off.

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    2. EDGY RATING : 9/11

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    3. Either you two have an even more developed sense of humor than I do, or you're morons.

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    4. it's the first one

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    5. Are you the same guy that's been proclaiming his departure on every thread for the past few weeks? What with Eumomomomo being MIA, we need a substitute village idiot to keep things amusing around here, and I think you might have potential.

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    6. How did you know?! Maybe you're the guy whose intellect has been crushing us on every thread recently? And don't count too much on the subhuman life form known as Eumesmopo not returning; for all we know he's simply having a mighty good time with Francis.

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    7. Eurmessmoppedupo was definitely this blog's second best non-anonymous lolcow after Gamer_2neckbeard4.

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  2. Reporting in to say that I just masturbated to Rob's avatar, then drew a circle of cum round his face on the screen and smeared it over his hair.

    Frankly it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be, and cum is a mare to clean from LCD screens. I will probably do it at least one more time in the next few days to re-live the humiliating sense of disappointment I now feel.

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    1. ...Rob? Is that you?

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  3. congrats dude. you somehow managed to make a blog which is even less funny than xkcd.

    Have you considered just cutting to the chase and goatseing your readers? It would save everyone time and the embarrassment of watching your painful attempts at humourous oneupmanship.

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    1. http://goatkcd.com/

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    2. Too scared to click.

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  4. "He failed, of course, as he fails at all things."

    Not true. I have it on good authority that Randy's pretty amazing at fellatio.

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    1. that's a rumor they pass around so people will try to get randy to blow them. it is one of the most cripplingly disappointing experiences in the world. so disappointing people simply must share it.

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    2. Randy's mouth does not belong anywhere near a penis. An anus, perhaps.

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  5. Nothing on Scary Names? Are you fucking kidding me?

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  6. Rob hates him! Click here for the xkcd-reviewing secret that is the envy of professional critics everywhere.

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    1. No one likes you, Jon. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but we all just tolerate you with gritted teeth until you go away.

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    2. I like Jon.

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    3. @7:26

      You know who else tolerated me with gritted teeth? HITLER, and I got the better of that schmuck.

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    4. Jon's cool. He's not a pretentious prick like the rest of us. And he doesn't use the same fork for lunch every day. Actually that one's not a good thing. Lighten up, man; it's not gonna hurt you.

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    5. You take that back. I am not, nor will I ever be, 'cool',

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    6. Everybody's cool eventually... WHEN THEY'RE DEAD!!!!

      I mean in terms of body temperature, see?

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    7. In xkcd Anon@9:36, Randall is playing on the dual meaning of `cool'. To a physicist, someting `cool' has a low temperature in a given context. To the common jock, `cool' is a manner of behaving which is likely to get you vulvae rather than merely drawing of vulvae.

      The human body temperature is maintained around 37 Celsius, because humans are endotherms. But when a human dies, his or her homeostatic processes terminate, and the body temperature reduces to room temperature: it is `cool' relative to the living body.

      Jon Levi is using the jock meaning of `cool'. Anon@9:36 is equivocating with the physicist meaning of `cool'. This is a word pun. Word puns are a classical common form of humor. Humor creates laughter. Laughter releases endorphins. Endorphins are studied by biology. Biology is a less pure branch of science than physics. I am a virgin.

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    8. more like xkcdexplained-sucks.blogspot.co.uk

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    9. In Anon@1:39, a reference is made to the hypothetical web site "xkcdexplained-sucks" by analogy with the present web site "xkcdsucks". This is because Anon@12:32 is parodying the autistic study notes written on web site "xkcdexplained", a blog dedicated to explanation of the intricacies of the comic strip "xkcd" authored by Randall "living proof that to get a girlfriend you only need to be popular rather than competent" Munroe.

      It is possible that Anon@1:39 inserted a hyphen ("-") in the URL in homage to "xkcd-sucks", a mostly defunct complementary site to xkcdsucks edited by "Gamer_2neckbeard4", a Gamer born in 2004 who sports a neckbeard. But this is not certain, and some argue that the author simply judged "xkcdexplainedsucks" to be too difficult to read. English prose, unlike Latin poetry, normally employs whitespace (" ") to separate words.

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  7. Thought you might like a cheap laugh: Kirk and Spock, then and now

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    1. haha, the Spock from the old one looks a bit like the villain from that Heroes show

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  8. 69 comments and counting about why this blog is so horribly wrong.

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    1. It's more like 69 comments and counting of Randall's fans obsessively and fanatically worshiping him.

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    2. Including some who marvel at his altruism in giving his genius to the world. It's amazing how many people fail to understand that it's part of his business model.

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    3. Hey Randall, there's this thing I never understood about Time: why did they keep asking each other whether they were OK every 10 seconds?

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    4. Oh, and the way you made a point of the guy helping the girl up first was very gallant of you. Sowet4you and your gallant ways.

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    5. They keep asking each other because they care.

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    6. Yes, I figured that was just you trying to capture how you think love works. Wasn't sure though.

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    7. part of his business model.

      Wait.. he's an artist / philosopher.

      Why would he need a "business model" ?

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  9. I demand a new review of the entirety of Time, updated daily at a rate of a word a day.

    Should only take three days to complete.

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    1. I'll go write some hymns and hang-out with God. I got angel bootleg songs if you want some. There's some on the CD. I'm kinda burned-out even doing that, though.

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    2. If Hyphen gets enough views, I will do a review of Time. It's one I've wanted to do for ages.

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  10. Jeez Rob, this place be hurtin' real bad like.

    And curiously, I don't care.

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    1. Perhaps I can be coerced into caring?
      Do you have a 401(k) of any status?
      I'll be in your nation's capital in three days; Seattle's close, right? Can I bring you anything from the Canadas?

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    2. Don't be jealous guys.

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    3. bring me a maple leaf. ideally a poisoned maple leaf, but I'm not picky

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  11. gdi rob one of these days I'm gonna get you inside me

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  12. on topic: this comic is meant to be funny if you actually read the whole story behind the black-hat guy. It's like a show, you need to see all the other episodes in order to know what is going on.

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    1. On topic: there is no "story" behind black-hat guy. It's randull's way of beng "OMG EDGY AND RANDOM." Implying that there's anything like a story in XKCD just proves you're a cuddlefish.

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    2. xkcd's target audience is smart enough to decipher stories such as this

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    3. Ahahahahaha! ... Ahahahahahaaa! You're serious?

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    4. if you try not being so eager to mock what you don't understand you might find yourself on the path to understanding

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    5. Because only the truly elite can understand high school math and physics.

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    6. that is all you can see because that is all you know

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    7. I have PhDs in both physics and computer science. I've also had sexual intercourse multiple times. I'm therefore more qualified than you to judge a comic's merit.

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    8. I have PhDs in both anal and oral intercourse. I've also had physical and computer intercourse multiple times. I'm therefore more comic than qualified to judge your machine potato. Circumstance freud lap snot frisk. Hibble. And then from the darkness she came. Giggling. Skipping. Looked into my eyes. And I wanted her. I wanted her right there. I pulled my pants down. She knelt down in front of me and pulled a machete from her belt, then thrusted it into my rectum, tearing the flesh, slicing through my colon, sputum flowing from her thick lips like cheese on toast three times a week. love me. who are you?

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  13. What's good mah knee ger oids?

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  14. Attention all cuddlefish: this comment thread is shortly about to close. Head over here for the new one.

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    1. Go fuck yurself, jhon

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    2. What do you think I am doing right now?

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