(link at TopatoCo is weird for some reason but I'm leaving it up)
It's no secret that I am a huge fan of Dinosaur Comics. So when a twist of fate forced me to buy a book online, I chose the only Dinosaur Comics book yet published, "Your Whole Family is Made Out of Meat: The Best of Dinosaur Comics 2003-2005 AD." Unfortunately, the book is little more than a printout of some of the comics online.
So what's in this book? First of all, the TopatoCo description claims that this book contains all the comics from 2003, when Dinosaur Comics started, through 2005. That's just completely false. I wish it did, but that would be something like 600 or 700 comics, and this book contains only about 250. The title even says it's "the best of" so really to suggest anything else is just dumb.
It has an introduction - a short, very short introduction - by Joey Comeau, and that's about it. Nothing from Ryan North besides a single line of dedication. A few strange photos from Found Magazine and precious little else is new in the book. Alt-texts are included under the comic, but only one - as you may know, Dinosaur Comics each have 3 alt texts. Hope you only enjoyed the rollover one, because that's all you are going to get in this book!
---------------------
Part of (perhaps most of?) the trick with books of webcomics is figuring out the balance between new and old material. Obviously, a good comic is successful because of its old content, that's what people know and what gained it its fame. But all its old content is (usually) still available online, so people need some additional reason to buy the book. The xkcd book solved this problem in a perfectly fine way; it had an substantial introduction, doodles and comments, and of course, those absurd puzzles (which are, of course, pretty great for the mind of your average xkcd fan). The Achewood book, created as it was by a man obsessed with writing about his characters, had commentary, and introduction, and dozen or so pages of text backstory. The Dinosaur Comics book...not so much.
----------------------
So the bulk of the book is the comics. And the comics are great, but you expected me to say that. I love them. Obviously. They're clever and sarcastic and energetic and thoughtful but that's all true online as well. Heck, at least online they are in color. Turning T-Rex and pals into black and white, as they are here, takes away something from the comic: It's lower energy, and seeing the same 6 shades-of-gray panels over and over gets monotonous faster than the color-filled ones online.
And there are ads in the back. What kind of book has ads in the back? And not cool ads, just lame ads for the publisher.
------------------------
Dinosaur Comics is one of the more popular comics online - one of the few able to be self-sustaining - and it's odd that its one attempt at publishing would be such a failure. I hope Mr. North and people he works with now can figure out what they did wrong (maybe by reading this post!) and try again - maybe the audience is big enough now that with a good approach, they could start over. Maybe release all the comics in yearly volumes? It would still be about 250-300 comics per book, but have a sense of completeness to it for obsessives like me. Dinosaur Comics is too great a thing to give up on.
So what's in this book? First of all, the TopatoCo description claims that this book contains all the comics from 2003, when Dinosaur Comics started, through 2005. That's just completely false. I wish it did, but that would be something like 600 or 700 comics, and this book contains only about 250. The title even says it's "the best of" so really to suggest anything else is just dumb.
It has an introduction - a short, very short introduction - by Joey Comeau, and that's about it. Nothing from Ryan North besides a single line of dedication. A few strange photos from Found Magazine and precious little else is new in the book. Alt-texts are included under the comic, but only one - as you may know, Dinosaur Comics each have 3 alt texts. Hope you only enjoyed the rollover one, because that's all you are going to get in this book!
---------------------
Part of (perhaps most of?) the trick with books of webcomics is figuring out the balance between new and old material. Obviously, a good comic is successful because of its old content, that's what people know and what gained it its fame. But all its old content is (usually) still available online, so people need some additional reason to buy the book. The xkcd book solved this problem in a perfectly fine way; it had an substantial introduction, doodles and comments, and of course, those absurd puzzles (which are, of course, pretty great for the mind of your average xkcd fan). The Achewood book, created as it was by a man obsessed with writing about his characters, had commentary, and introduction, and dozen or so pages of text backstory. The Dinosaur Comics book...not so much.
----------------------
So the bulk of the book is the comics. And the comics are great, but you expected me to say that. I love them. Obviously. They're clever and sarcastic and energetic and thoughtful but that's all true online as well. Heck, at least online they are in color. Turning T-Rex and pals into black and white, as they are here, takes away something from the comic: It's lower energy, and seeing the same 6 shades-of-gray panels over and over gets monotonous faster than the color-filled ones online.
And there are ads in the back. What kind of book has ads in the back? And not cool ads, just lame ads for the publisher.
------------------------
Dinosaur Comics is one of the more popular comics online - one of the few able to be self-sustaining - and it's odd that its one attempt at publishing would be such a failure. I hope Mr. North and people he works with now can figure out what they did wrong (maybe by reading this post!) and try again - maybe the audience is big enough now that with a good approach, they could start over. Maybe release all the comics in yearly volumes? It would still be about 250-300 comics per book, but have a sense of completeness to it for obsessives like me. Dinosaur Comics is too great a thing to give up on.
first post
ReplyDeletewat a dick ^
ReplyDeleteunneccesary comment ^
ReplyDelete"xkcd sucks" sucks.
ReplyDeleteSo, new comic? Not bad, I think. Randall is treading VERY safe territory (i.e. a very surefire way to resonate with scientists and professional of the field), and there's nothing particularly bad about it. It's bland, but mildly amusing. Think about it, my only complaint is that this is a VERY old and beaten theme to tackle in such a nondescript way; it seems like easy bait to get the fans raving and drooling.
ReplyDeleteIn short, it's vastly superior to the last comic.
WHAT?! Three alt-texts?!!! Where?
ReplyDeleteI bought all the achewood books before he started releasing the new ones through dark horse, actually just a few weeks before he made the announcement... I really felt ripped off. The original books are poorly bound, have no extra features, and have dozens of misprinted pages scattered throughout where for some reason a comic will have empty speech bubbles where there were none in the online version, or weird gibberish-spelling errors (lie robot, what's the saddest ERIEJREIRDJK), or simply portions of the image have been whited out
ReplyDeleteagain, this is the original editions I'm talking about, I'm sure the hardcover versions are great, I just felt kinda ripped off after I spent all that money on a series of books that were such a poor quality product only for him to rerelease a better version
@antzpants: the rollover one, the one in the "contact" link, and, er, the RSS title in the "archive", I think.
ReplyDeleteYOU WROTE "introcuction", STUPID!!!
ReplyDelete3 alt texts?!?! i only know of two. one img's title argument. two the title tag itself
ReplyDeleteJoey Comeau?
ReplyDeleteWould you trust anything written by a moose-mounting, puck-slapping and maple-eating citizen of Soviet Canuckistan whose last name in English means "Watery Ejaculate"?
Innit?
Shut up faggot
ReplyDeleteholy shit you literally make a post every other day about xkcd
ReplyDeletei couldn't post this much about something actually worth talking about, like religion or politics or science or something goddamn
channel those energies elsewhere.
Yeah bro 15 minutes out of every 48 hours is fucking ridiculous where does Carl find the time?
ReplyDeleteFarfox, you moron, this post is actually not about xkcd.
ReplyDeleteAlt-texts are included under the comic, but only one - as you may know, Dinosaur Comics each have 3 alt texts. Hope you only enjoyed the rollover one, because that's all you are going to get in this book!
ReplyDeleteholy shit what, where are the other alt-texts? augggggh
And yet, Randall Munroe is smarter, richer, better-looking, and more talented then any of you could ever hope to be.
ReplyDeleteIronic, isn't it?
"And yet, Randall Munroe is smarter, richer, better-looking, and more talented then any of you could ever hope to be."
ReplyDeleteTee hee hee.
What, you don't agree? I'd like to see you're world-renowned webcomic then.
ReplyDeleteDo we even get any sincere XKCD fans anymore, or people who just transparently push every button they can find?
ReplyDelete"What, you don't agree? I'd like to see you're world-renowned webcomic then."
ReplyDeleteWow, not only did you use a non sequiter logic fail, you also mixed up the homonyms "you're" and "your."
The public education system at its finest ladies and gentlemen.
"holy shit what, where are the other alt-texts? augggggh"
ReplyDeleteContact subject and RSS title for each comic, I believe.
So you like Dinosaur Comics even though you admit what it puts out is shit, and yet you hate XKCD, the best comic on the internet? Is this some kind of hipster douchebag shit where you only like things that suck or are you really that retarded?
ReplyDeleteSeemingly, Cuddlefish don't know what irony means. Fascinating...
ReplyDeletexkcd was not even that funny or insightful back when it was good. Something I read but didn't gush about.
ReplyDeletePandering? A niche? Obscure humour? The bizarre "popularity = quality" idea? Its self-insertion into internet culture?
Farfox: that is only indicative of the fact that you are remarkably unimaginative and have no interesting opinions. Most people who are even remotely interesting could write far more than Carl does about most topics on a regular basis.
ReplyDelete"And yet, Randall Munroe is smarter, richer, better-looking, and more talented then any of you could ever hope to be."
Smarter: nope. Richer: nope. Better-looking: nope. More talented: nope.
"So you like Dinosaur Comics even though you admit what it puts out is shit, and yet you hate XKCD, the best comic on the internet?"
You are not very good at reading comprehension, are you? He doesn't say that "what Dinosaur Comics puts out is shit;" he says that "the book, which is a tiny portion of what Dinosaur Comics puts out, is pretty much a let-down." It is a let-down because it fails to meet the excellent standard set by the rest of Dinosaur Comics' material. And XKCD is not "the best comic on the internet" so much as a piece of shit webcomic which has terrible jokes, contrived dialogue, abysmal art, hackneyed subject matter, and generally no redeeming qualities to speak of.
"Is this some kind of hipster douchebag shit where you only like things that suck or are you really that retarded?"
That's not what hipsters do. Don't jump on the trend bandwagon unless you understand it.
"...Seemingly, Cuddlefish don't know what irony means. Fascinating......"
ReplyDeletePerhaps they are more familiar with ferrous works in their bivalent state.
Innit?
What an annoying verbal tic you have. Must you put "Innit?" at the end of all your stupid posts? If I met you in person, I'd have to hurt you something awful.
ReplyDeleteAquarians Love To Fuck: still not funny or clever.
ReplyDeleteSmarter: Really? Then how come you don't get half of his comics? XP
ReplyDeleteRicher: OK I admit it, I was thinking "more famous" here. So unless one of you has some sort of secret identity you'd like to unveal you'll have to give that one to me.
Better looking: would you like to actually back that up with some evidence?
More talented: Sorry your magnum opis is a blog bitching about somebody better than you. That doesn't *quite* compare to making one of the best webcomics of all time.
Stop being so obvious. Try harder next time.
ReplyDelete"Really? Then how come you don't get half of his comics? XP"
ReplyDeleteI do.
"So unless one of you has some sort of secret identity you'd like to unveal you'll have to give that one to me."
It's spelled "unveil." And if you think fame is somehow indicative of success: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore_%28TV_series%29
"Would you like to actually back that up with some evidence?"
You aren't very smart, are you? For reference, here is a picture of Randall Munroe: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4e/Randall_Munroe.jpeg
"Sorry your magnum opis is a blog bitching about somebody better than you."
Opus. And that isn't my magnum opus--it's something I do to kill time occasionally.
Alt texts for Dinosaur Comics:
ReplyDelete1. The alt-text when you mouse over the image;
2. The title of the comic in the site's RSS feed;
3. The "subject" field that appears when you click on or mouse over the "Comments" link. On some browsers, it appears at the bottom, but on others, it doesn't show up at all, or has its spaces replaced with %20.
Personally, I use this Greasemonkey script to read 'em all.
Now have fun hitting Random a bunch of times to catch up on all that you've missed!
"I do."
ReplyDeleteOh wow such a convincing argument so sorry I questioned you.
"It's spelled "unveil". And if you think fame is somehow indicative of success: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore_%28TV_series%29"
Funny, I don't see anything in that article saying how popular it is, accept a section saying how it offended people and the fact that it only lasted one season.
"You aren't very smart, are you? For reference, here is a picture of Randall Munroe: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4e/Randall_Munroe.jpeg"
Yes thank you, I'm well aware of what he looks like. I notice you haven't provided a picture of yourself.
"Opus. And that isn't my magnum opus--it's something I do to kill time occasionally."
Well excuse me Rob please show me your super cool award-winning whatever it is you do I'm sure it's awesome.
"Oh wow such a convincing argument so sorry I questioned you."
ReplyDeleteProvide me some evidence that I don't get them, and then we'll talk.
"Funny, I don't see anything in that article saying how popular it is, accept a section saying how it offended people and the fact that it only lasted one season."
Reading comprehension 101: something which first aired less than two weeks ago is probably still in its first season. But since you have the cultural awareness of a deranged slug, let's just reference any reality television series you like--Big Brother, The Hills, Survivor, etc. The people in these are famous. This does not mean there is anything good about them.
"Yes thank you, I'm well aware of what he looks like. I notice you haven't provided a picture of yourself."
Yes; I'm leaving it to you as a thought experiment to locate one. It is the easiest thing in the world.
"Well excuse me Rob please show me your super cool award-winning whatever it is you do I'm sure it's awesome."
See previous comment.
quit listening to rob he's probably gay
ReplyDelete^ Q. E. D.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have yet to see an xkcd fantard make the convincing argument: if we hate xkcd because it's good and we're jealous, and we haven't produced a comic that's better because we suck...
ReplyDeleteThen clearly, they must hate this blog because it's good and they're jealous. And they haven't produced a blog that's better because they suck.
Clearly you hate this blog for the same reasons we hate xkcd. After all, if you weren't jealous of this blog and how good it is, you wouldn't bother writing comments about how much it sucks, right?
Also, I like the thought that Roger Ebert and the guy on Iron Chef criticize everyone because they're so jealous of movie makers and other chefs. Because nobody EVER criticizes ANYTHING unless they're jealous.
I guess TV Guide has been making a living for over 50 years being jealous of every show that's on TV. Now it all makes sense!
'Yes thank you, I'm well aware of what he looks like. I notice you haven't provided a picture of yourself.'
ReplyDeleteWait. Wait. Wait.
Wait.
????
It's nice to see you all cultivating your philosophical and logical seeds - but this crap all boils down to this:
ReplyDeleteyou hate xkcd.
we hate you.
sunshine.
^^
Since we don't care if you hate us, and you do care if we hate xkcd, do we win?
ReplyDeletecaptcha: nockeet. Nockeet off!
Interesting how you phrased that! See, here we're just hating a webcomic. That's perfectly legitimate. I'm sure there's plenty of XKCD fanboys who hate other webcomics out there (CAD, anyone?), and if you broaden the field to include books, television, and movies, I'd bet you there is not a single XKCD fanboy who does not hate one example of one of these things--and you'd be hard pressed to find one who doesn't hate something enough that he would never rant about it at some length if the context is appropriate.
ReplyDeleteWhereas you hate us. We're people! You hate us because we dislike something you like. That's some of the most provincial, small-minded thinking out there. It is essentially thinking that people who are different from you are somehow inferior to you. The closest word I can think of for that kind of thinking is "loathsome."
So I'll just keep on hating XKCD, if it's all the same to you. Thanks for playing.
ouchie
ReplyDeleteNah, of course we don't care if you hate xkcd. it's just fun to piss you off.
ReplyDeletehttp://lol.i.trollyou.com/
ReplyDeleteGuys you just DON'T GET IT you're not in the TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC of COURSE you're not going to like it.
ReplyDeleteThe only chicks who find Randall Munroe attractive are fan girls. He looks like the child molester from the movie "Happiness." I'd rather bang Richard Stallman than Randall Munroe, and that's saying a lot.
ReplyDeleteTarget demographic = People who love xkcd unconditionally
ReplyDeletehttp://i48.tinypic.com/2csgpb4.jpg
ReplyDeleteQED BITCHES
Sorry aboat yore penis
ReplyDeleteI think we can agree that Randy and Rob are equally unattractive.
ReplyDeleteI wish my fangirls shared that opinion. Le sigh.
ReplyDeleteY'know Rob, I always thought you were older.
ReplyDeleteI get that a lot. Though I have also been told I look anywhere between 18-30, so.
ReplyDeleteI'd say at most 25, but then again, I'm terrible at guessing ages based on pics.
ReplyDeleteI love when Cuddlefish fight each other, like how 8:22PM just ate 8:19PM's ass. Lovely, indeed...
ReplyDeleteApparently sarcasm is lost on Pro Mole.
ReplyDelete"Ironic, isn't it?"
ReplyDeleteIT'S LIKE RAAAAAAAAAIAAAAAAAAAAAIN ON YOUR WEDDIIIIIING DAY
i didn't know alanis morrissette read xkcdsucks! WE HAVE ARRIVED, GUYS
ReplyDeleteQ, I avoid giving credit to people who don't even bother having an alias for themselves when in doubt. In other words, with Cuddlefish, always bet low.
ReplyDelete...And I'm hoping here YOU are not being sarcastic now!
Oh, Ms. Morisette, what an honor to have yet another person who doesn't know what irony is here! =D
Carl, you need to be made aware of this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/aetuf/i_wrote_an_arty_xkcd_based_platform_game_and/
Some fanboy has made an XKCD game.
DOWNVOTING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
ReplyDeleteFACT: It's only sarcasm if it enables you to save face.
ReplyDeleteUseful review of the book. Such a shame to hear about all the mistakes made in the production process.
ReplyDeleteAt least some color would have been nice.
Somebody said:
ReplyDelete"...Oh, Ms. Morisette, what an honor to have yet another person who doesn't know what irony is here! =D..."
You must admit that it is indeed ironic that there is no irony in her song.
Rob?
Nu?
Does this mean we are no longer lovers?
I am not in the least bit squeamish about sex. I really just can't, however, abide the term "fuckbuddy". What an absolutely appalling label to give a person. I get that it means "a friend, that you fuck", but really - isn't that what happens in sexual liaisons about 80 percent of the time? Very few people fuck perfect strangers, whom they do not like. No, the normal route from first sight to bed games, is via a couple of drinks and a little chat, which, I would say, gets the boinkabees on the way to being friends. Seal the deal with a ride or two and unless someone asks for some shit-on-chest action too early in the proceedings, or has some unfortunate affliction, like a lolling tongue, then the pair could cosily be described as friends.
So there you have it, most human non-marital copulation for you:
Friends - that you end up fucking.
No need for job descriptions, just get your pants off. Not only is Fuckbuddy an utterly redundant term, but the people who use it are just desperate, awful creations. Usually needy women, who have to catch the crumbs that fall from other women's tables - creeping around husband grabbing or taking it from some awful cunt at work, who calls people "babe". Fuckcunt, maybe, fuckbuddy - no.
Or that cruel trick of Our Lord - the boring, hideous idiot, who likes quoting Monty Python, and snorts when he laughs, but has a magnificent, vast-girthed cock that women need to sit on, because it is a wonderful thing, but have to wear an iPod whilst doing so. Still not a fuckbuddy - a fuckmoron.
Or what about those bare faced liars, who just don't, ever, fuck anyone - but need to make out they are getting the ride from somewhere, so invent some acquaintance who obliges when the urge takes? No, these losers also do not have the right to talk about fuckbuddies - rather fuckimaginaryfriends. god, it's desperate!
Fuckbuddies and people who talk about their fuckbuddies- fuck off.
I'm rather self-conscious about my clutch of coitus-companions, and have essayed each to wear identification stamps in order to easily differentiate them from my amigos-d'amores, who all smell like avacados. Worse, I haven't the slightest inkling what to do with my fucknoddingaquaintances or fornication friends-of-a-friend.
Since the invention of the Pink Rabbit, no woman needs a Fuckimaginaryfriend/moron/buddy - why settle for second best.
"...unless someone asks for some shit-on-chest action too early in the proceedings..."
In your opinion, boys, when is the right time in a relationship to broach this subject?
fuckbuddy is a friend you fuck, and keep on fucking w/out any kind of emotional attachment.
ReplyDeleteAquarians, you forgot to say "innit."
ReplyDeleteIs Aquarians some kind of fucked up bot unleashed here just to say some random copypasta shit or just another nail in the coffin of humanity?
ReplyDeleteI think he's just an idiot.
ReplyDeleteInnit?
ReplyDeletecopypasta from my blogga
I'm a girl, silly person.
I am totally and I am utterly sick to death of men, and no I am not shitting you. When they are hatched, baby men piss in your face at every diaper change. And then when they are older they will sometimes ask after you to pee in their faces. This might very well be entertaining if it were not for the fact that it is utterly fucking odd as shite. In general men continue to piss on we women, with their selfish, self-obsessed, whining, selfish, self-centred, fucking self-regarding, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-interested, self-seeking, fucking cuntbutlery.
ReplyDeleteMen who at first seem stimulating quickly turn into the most tediously boring slipper-wearing cunts. They yammer, in perpetuum, about all manner of machines and machine like sports things, or spend an inordinate amount of time buying and selling crap for a hideously tiny amount of profit or loss on some shite gayer Internet auction site. Men who at one time admired and lusted after provocative and sensual clothing on the female physique will shortly 'tent' their wives or girlfriends in horrifically ghastly fat-arse sport shirts and oh so comfortable jeans in a pitiful attempt to keep other men far afield. My sister Nancy had a boyfriend who was absolutely desperate to have her wear overalls, OVERALLS!!!!!!, the harrowing 'Ugly Woman' wardrobe staple, to force her to hide her lovely legs away from any and all other leering males. And I had a boyfriend who constantly tried to shove me into Laura Ashley, and he liked round-toed shoes. ROUND-TOED SHOES!! Fuck me from behind with a rolled up printout of Manolo's Shoe blog posts. It goes without saying those two men aren't in the picture any more.
Then there are the calorie counting cunts. These men lack any kind of will-power and obsess about their weight and just can't bear to see anyone else enjoying an unrestricted diet. I can eat my own weight in fries and pies and chocolate and remain svelte and never, ever whine about being a lard-arse or eating healthily. I fucking hate these manly men who incessantly whinge about their weight, it is just so beyond gayishness. Be a fat bastard, or not, I couldn't possibly care less. Just do not punish everyone else by pontificating about what we should and shouldn't be eating as some of us women want to eat things we like, rather than fucking lettuce or kelp.
And then again there be those awful feckers who enter into, and then foster, toxic relationships with women, where each of the participants of this fucked relationship negotiates away a right from the other - like an horrid, provisory game of Jenga:
"I don't want you tarrying with what's-his/her-name".
"Right, then I don't want you going to the football/baseball game".
"Okay, fine, in that case, I don't want you to accompany your work friends after work if there are any men about".
"Fine, right, as long as you are quite happy at not going on that coveted golf weekend of yours then that's fine by me".
"Okay, but there is no way you're going to wear those shoes outside of this bedroom"
And on and fucking on until both parties are deprived and destitute and are as miserable as shite. All that lingers for them now is to stare at one another 'til they succumb to 'in odio est'. They may, however, occasionally break the monotonous ennui with a trip to the Home Depot to buy a stone 'Peeing Putto' sculpture for the garden, or they may even paint the bedroom a imperceptibly different colour.
Worst of all, and beyond belief, are those fucking pissheads who won't tell you, when something is definitely wrong, about what is really bothering them. I absolutely loathe those bastards. "What's wrong?" you would ask them. "Nothing" they invariably answer. If I wanted to have a conversation like that, I'd hang around a girls' school playground (With BP and his bag of candy). Fucking cunts.
Innit?
What does this have to do with xkcd, xkcdsucks or Dinosaur Comics? Nothing! She's just pluging her sexist blog.
ReplyDeleteLord T'underin' Jaysus girlfriend stop 'pluging' your sexist blog!
ReplyDeleteVD, leave these poor folks alone.
BP!
ReplyDeleteVD!
Both of you leave these poor folks alone.
Sockpuppets? Srsly?
ReplyDeletecaptcha: tastleg!
But...it ISN'T ironic that Alanis Morisette's song contains no irony.
ReplyDeleteHas no one here seen Futurama? Does no one remember Bender's words of wisdom?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY_amJ0YZrM
It seems people these days use irony to mean "incongruity between expected events and what actually occurs" which makes no sense, because otherwise that would mean it was ironic I woke up with a headache this morning, since I usually do not.
People don't know what "ironic" means? That sure is ironic!
ReplyDeleteIronic is ironic? That sure is ferrous!
ReplyDeleteAquarians, that was riveting. Simply riveting.
ReplyDeletealoria
ReplyDeleteWhy settle for bivalency when we can have superultramega trivalency?
"Ironic is ironic? That sure is ferric!"
Innit?
Thank you Jay - I calls 'em as I sees 'em
Rob said:
ReplyDelete"...Aquarians Love To Fuck: still not funny or clever...."
Moon breasted, Swan waisted and Elephant hipped.
You males with girth - you know who you are (Rob?) - would you not want me?
Would you not want me in every way you can imagine?
Today, I will allow you to frott my arse through a fine muslin while I do my nails and feign interest.
Oh Robbie, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,
Hey Robbie (huff huff), hey Robbie (huff huff)
Oh Robbie, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,
Hey Robbie (huff huff) hey Robbie (huff huff)
Oh Robbie, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,
Hey Robbie (huff huff) hey Robbie (huff huff)
Oh Robbie, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,
Hey Robbie (huff huff) hey Robbie
Hey Robbie!
You've been around all night and that's a little long
You think you've got the right but I think you've got it wrong
Why can't you say goodnight so you can take me home, Robbie
'Cause when you say you will, it always means you won't
You're givin' me the chills, baby, please baby don't
Every night you still leave me all alone, Robbie
Oh Robbie, what a pity you don't understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Robbie, you're so pretty, can't you understand
It's guys like you Robbie
Oh, what you do Robbie, do Robbie
Don't break my heart, Robbie
Innit?
In my pharmaceutically induced coma (Oh the colours!) I had a dream during which it was revealed to me that Amy Winehouse and Keith Richards are one and the same person. Upon further research I realised that this may very well be true. The Media would have us believe they are two different people.
ReplyDeleteHa!
Is it mere coincidence that when one is doing Pirates the other is conveniently in Rehab? And when one is teetering on stilettos onstage in Hyde Park or pugilating a fan at Glastonbury the other is nowhere to be found?
I think not.
I was also informed that George Romero is contacting him/her/them for a part in his next Zombie flick: "Gloam of the Living Dead" - sans makeup!
Innit?
But...it ISN'T ironic that Alanis Morisette's song contains no irony.
ReplyDeleteHer song is ironic in the Kierkegaardian sense.
Also in the sense that its actual nature is the opposite of its expected nature. Not just an incongruousness, but an antithesis. Although not really. Meh.
Also "incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result"
ReplyDeleteas in "dramatic irony"
(some words have more than one definition)
It's a SONG not a PLAY how can you even THINK of applying the "dramatic irony" definition??
ReplyDeleteThe insanity of this conversation has driven me to listen to cLOUDDEAD. I hope you people are happy.
ReplyDeleteHow ironic.
ReplyDeleteI got burned in an ironing accident. That surely is ironic. *TA-DUM, PISH!*
ReplyDeleteThat's not ironic, that's just coincidental!
ReplyDeleteCAPTCHA: unpalin. I'm not sure what that means exactly but I'll take it as a compliment
Fernie, I hate seeing you make an ass out of yourself. It's *Ba-dum tish!*
ReplyDeleteNate: "It seems people these days use irony to mean "incongruity between expected events and what actually occurs" which makes no sense, because otherwise that would mean it was ironic I woke up with a headache this morning, since I usually do not."
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the many dictionary definitions of ironic: "an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected; the incongruity of this."
Now, the operative word here is "contrary." Irony is not just about differing but being in opposition. That is to say: you would actively expect a song that is called "Ironic" to contain some example of irony--it is therefore ironic when it doesn't.
Unless you are going into your morning actively expecting not to have a headache, having a headache is not contrary to your expectations; it's merely something you were not actively expecting.
oh god I'm surrounded by masters of literance
ReplyDelete"It's *Ba-dum tish!*"
ReplyDeleteNah, it's just that my drumkit is very... ironic.
how ORWELLIAN
ReplyDeleteYou know who ELSE liked to call things ironic? HITLER!
ReplyDeleteDamn, this comments are so KAFKIAN.
ReplyDeleteDan't say "Mr. North." It's as annoying as "Mr. Munroe."
ReplyDeleteI wish people didn't do that. I used to call people things like that all the time as sort of a weird affectation but then it got all fanboyish and you can't say it without sounding sincere.
ReplyDelete"sincere"? As opposed to insincere?
ReplyDeleteYes. I am insincere when I use honorifics. I do not intend it as a term of respect.
ReplyDeleteAwww, I always attach "Ms." and say my Mr.'s and Ms.'s and Mrs.'s
ReplyDeleteAnd I feel like I'm missing something since I don't know how old Rob is...
rob is 7 years old. he is writing using his older sister's computer. it has pictures of movie vampires on it. rob thinks they are cool.
ReplyDeleteCarl is just mad that the editors questioned my claim that he has friends.
ReplyDeletefucking editors.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going to write a Dinosaur comics sucks blog...
ReplyDelete