Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Comic 1190: Time To Find A Better Webcomic

[Alt text: Wait for it.]

Apparently this has been updating itself every half hour or so. The first several updates were just Randy and Megan sitting on a hill, moving around slightly. It took forever for them to start actually building their sand castle or whatever.

I just wanted to go on record that this would be a lot better, conceptually, if it weren't so incredibly uninteresting. Watching stick figures build a sand castle is not interesting, and it certainly isn't so interesting that I want to wait two days to see the finished product.

236 comments:

  1. Holy shit nobody's commented on this yet I got first post Rob you suck donkey balls

    ReplyDelete
  2. donkey. balls.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are one of the only lights that exist in this dark world

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. apparently donkey balls are coated with a flaky luminescent paint

      Delete
    2. Just to be involved is invigorating.

      Delete
    3. come on rob let me touch you

      Delete
    4. I really thought 9:29 was Jon Levi. Usually I'm good at that.

      Delete
    5. lucky you Anon 9:25

      come back & tell us what it was like

      Delete
    6. what it was like for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  4. you sir are a parasite. Though I assume this whole site is some kind of inside joke?

    I believe the time theme and doing nothing on the beach but burning time are a perfect match, aesthetically.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This site is homage in disguise. Don't tell anyone.

      Delete
    2. But then they ended up doing something massive so you're going to have to come up with a different excuse.

      Delete
  5. The most compelling thing I ran into, searching vainly in the hope for at least _some_ kind of content in this thing's initial barren waste, was this early quote from the forums:

    "I don't really get it. Nothing is happening. Yet I am sitting here, staring at it. Thinking about what those two might be thinking about. Maybe they just talked about something, something important perhaps. Maybe they're content just to sit there, together in silence. Watching time happen.

    "Somehow, I feel that this is the strongest xkcd yet. It's in my head."

    H. P. Lovecraft appreciated that the greatest fear man has is the fear of the unknown. That's why his work is built around the indescribable -- to allow the reader to fill in the gaps as best suits their imagination's infernal corners. That by revealing enough to coax the breathing anticipation from the reader's mind, he can articulate something more powerful than if he had actually told you the full truth.



    THIS ISN'T THAT.

    Fuck you, Goomhba.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The comments in the xkcd forum have always been laughable, but they're particularly hilarious for this one, as the fanboys try desperately to pretend that their king hasn't just released another shitty, gimmicky comic:

      "What an interesting comic. This is probably the most simplistic xkcd yet..."
      "I love it. Great comic."
      "A cool comic, definitely. "
      "Wow, this is really clever."

      Bear in mind that, when these comments were made, all they thought the comic was was a single frame of two stick figures sitting down on the ground somewhere. Doing nothing. Saying nothing.

      Delete
    2. "The comments in the xkcd forum have always been laughable"

      I suspect it works the other way as well. As much as I agree with a lot of what's posted here (about people trying to make something out of nothing), sometimes it just feels a little too much like people are making a big deal for the sake of making a big deal, like the comment that was complaining about how the mechanism was implemented well. Both sites can be jokes, and the only one getting a REAL kick out of anything is probably Randy.

      Delete
    3. Fuck off Levi Dettwyler. You and your silly sunglasses.

      Delete
    4. "as the fanboys try desperately to pretend"

      ehh? Dude, your position is just weird. You're saying that they secretly hate the comic but are pretending that they don't?

      Get over yourself. How about maybe they actually like it?

      Delete
    5. @Anon4:10 To believe they actually enjoy a drawing of stick figures crouched on a featureless slope is more insulting to them than to believe they are pretending to enjoy it.

      Delete
    6. "To believe they actually enjoy a drawing of stick figures crouched on a featureless slope is more insulting to them than to believe they are pretending to enjoy it."

      I don't know what else to say other than, no, it isn't. It is more insulting to claim that they are being disingenuous than to claim that they like it.

      It reads like it is actually you that is doing the pretending here.

      You have elevated your dislike of Randall's stuff to such an objective level that you have decided that everybody MUST hate him and if they don't then they are just hiding their true opinion.

      Congratulations on advancing the cutting edge of doublethink. I don't know how you managed it.

      Delete
    7. Anon said that it is insulting to them to suggest that they don't dislike Randall. This is just hard fact.

      Delete
    8. So let's get this 100% straight.

      It's a cold, hard fact that everything Randall has ever done is objectively crap. Therefore, it would be an insult to someone to say they liked it. So comparitively speaking, it's nicer to say that their opinions are a lie and actually they do hate it. And therefore, to be nice to them, we'll assert that they are lying.

      ...

      Yeah I don't believe that this is actually your opinion. I think secretly you do know that this is self-centred bullshit and that what you're saying doesn't make an ounce of sense. But admitting that would mean admitting that your opinions are worth no more than their opinions. It would mean admitting that they do like it and that that's ok irrespective of what you think. It would require some actual honesty about what a cold hard fact is and what an opinion is.

      I have nothing nice to say about xkcd #1190 or #1193. But #1110 and his what-ifs have been good demonstrations that he is doing interesting stuff. In my opinion, his content varies hugely. But I don't go out implying that anyone who thinks otherwise is lying about what they like or hate (a really rather condescending thing to say, tbh).

      As I said before: Get over yourself.

      Delete
    9. I defend to the death my right to laugh at you for assigning so much value to a drying turd.

      Delete
  6. As far as I can tell there isn't even a way to get the whole series of images. They will be disappointed in the forums.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the fact we forget when we don't want to is part of the point.

      Delete
    2. http://xkcd.aubronwood.com/

      Delete
  7. Can we talk about how Randy (or more likely, his poor webadmin) created this entire AJAX thing to request (from what look to be multiple servers) the IDs of the new panels so that there was no way to pull down future images ahead of time because god forbid anyone see a slightly more complete sandcastle before they're supposed to.

    Not to mention the fact that the whole thing could have just been accomplished by uploading a new image each half hour and including a script to just reload the image at 10 minute intervals or something, but nooooooo. Pretty clearly someone wanted to show off what he learned how to code this week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. I can see complaining about the point of two stick figures building a sandcastle. I can see complaining about having it take so long. But complaining about it being automated and not easily exploited? Really?

      Delete
  8. It might be worth noting that because NOBODY understood this one, the server of explainxkcd.com died a horrible death because the traffic was (and is?) too high.
    When i checked it the site was laggy, claiming that 1190 sent so many people there, and then it died.

    The server seems slowly to recover, as the site is getting accessible again.

    Randy, what have you done? This comic is a ddos attack that is using human brain! (Or the lack of it)
    1190 is actually another "What if humans were computers?"! He made an incomprehensible comic, just to "program" everyone to google for an explanation, which ended up dos-ing the explain-pages.

    At the same time it's massivly boosting up the clickrates in the google statistics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This isn't the first time he's done this. He once killed TVTropes for a few hours by making a comic about it.

      Delete
    2. Explainxkcd.com was hosting an archive of all the frames. I'm willing to bet that's the reason for most of the unusual traffic.

      Delete
  9. My favourite comment on the xkcd forum, published when only the very first image was up:

    "I don't really get it. Nothing is happening. Yet I am sitting here, staring at it. Thinking about what those two might be thinking about. Maybe they just talked about something, something important perhaps. Maybe they're content just to sit there, together in silence. Watching time happen.

    Somehow, I feel that this is the strongest xkcd yet. It's in my head."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You didn't like the way Sleeper quoted it a few comments ago? It's true that you're doing it completely differently. With the attitude. At least that's how I see it. It's in my head.

      That said, this forum post is precious. I like how this person finally comes to grips with their mental illness.

      Delete
    2. You're like my very own fan-person. I like this.

      Sleeper made the classic mistake of "too much irrelevant text", so my brain went all ADHD on it and just read the comment replying to their post.

      Delete
    3. Sleeper made the classic mistake of not being one of your own posts or a response to one of your posts.

      Delete
  10. Where are the reviews for comics 1183 through 1189? They were all exceptionally shitty even for xkcd's standards, except 1187 which was pretty standard shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they're right here on the blog. haven't you been paying attention?

      Delete
    2. uhh, it stops at 1182...

      Delete
    3. no it doesn't. what browser are you using?

      Delete
    4. doesnt work for me either.

      Delete
  11. So apparently if you hover over the red button at SMBC you get an extra panel. How gay is that?

    ReplyDelete
  12. 25 comments & still on topic. this thread is proof of something

    ReplyDelete
  13. You know who doesn't have time for Randy's bullshit? Anyone. He's not content anymore for people to just read his sad excuse for a webcomic, oh no. Now he wants you to come back every half hour so he can drip-feed you his "story."

    Hey Randy, I have a surprise for you:

    Go fuck yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "You know who doesn't have time for Randy's bullshit? Anyone."

      You've clearly never met an xkcd fan. Those guys' lives are pretty empty.

      Delete
    2. Everybody with a different opinion than me has a horrible life.

      Delete
  14. Question: Would you defile a family members grave? If you answered no, the here is another question. Would you defile or impose on someone's religious beliefs? Again most people would say no. So riddle me this, why are so many people trying to defile a holy institution that was set up by the Jewish faith then adopted by the Christian and Muslim faiths. If you haven't caught on I am referring to marriage and the fact that this faith based right never belonged to the government to give away and change the definition.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Governments "stole" the idea of marriage a long time ago. Any decisions made about it now aren't going to really change anything from the religious perspective.

      Delete
    2. Christians and Muslims had no right to defile Judaism by interpreting their faith in a slightly different way in the first place. If you're going to rob Peter I 'm going to marry him to Paul.

      Delete
    3. I'm just confused why you think I wouldn't defile or impose on someone's religious beliefs in the first place. That shit is hilarious.

      Delete
    4. Why are reactionary ideologies the only ones that get spammed on completely unrelated blogs and Youtube videos? I'd find it interesting to see some progressive version of the "WHITE GENOCIDE" spambots.

      Delete
    5. Guys, I have something to tell you: I think I am...intolerant :( It all started a few years ago; back then, tolerance was my motto. 'Give them a break, it's because of their religion,' I thought. Or 'of course those silly drawings are just that, silly drawings, but I can understand why it would outrage some people. Let's all respect each other and refrain from making such bad taste jokes!'

      But now... Now I just want them to shut the hell up :( Every time they put religion before our freedoms and intelligence/rationality/science, I want to tell them they're a disgrace to the human species, and above all, keep shouting 'SHUT THE FREAKING HELL UP MAN NOT ONLY YOUR RELIGION IS STUPID IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT NOW YOU'RE USING IT TO JUSTIFY YOUR OWN BIGOTRY'

      Help, what should I do.

      Delete
    6. You should suck my dick.

      Delete
    7. I'd do it if only you weren't such a fat small-dicked loser :(

      Delete
    8. I'm more of a small, fat-dicked loser, but be that as it may, the only way your problem can be solved is if you fellate me.

      Delete
    9. Marriage didn't begin as a religious institution. People used to agree to be together privately, and from that point on they would be married. If anything, religion has imposed itself on marriage, not the government. Demeaning or belittling a group or the beliefs they hold because of their beliefs or for the way they are is wrong from pretty much everyone's point of view. This is true for both Christians people and gay people.

      Delete
    10. It's ok. You can get away with being a totally intolerant bigot. You're safe here on the internet, where other intolerant bigots will pat you on the head and give you undeserved praise for solidifying them in their own beliefs. For example, you should head over to Reddit. I hear they give out stickers and wowwy-pops to anyone who reassures them that there is no God and that Christians are subhumans who deserve the disproportionate amounts of hatred they dish out.

      Delete
  15. "......Watching stick figures build a sand castle is not interesting, and it certainly isn't so interesting that I want to wait two days to see the finished product......."

    For what will you wait two days to see the finished product?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he meant 'fkuc off'. What a terrible misunderstanding :(

      Delete
    2. Perhaps he meant it as a pre-emptive and predictive retort to you for using a punctuation happy face in an address to me. What a terrible understanding.

      Delete
    3. 'Punctuation happy face'? What are you talking about? I only use smileys :D

      Delete
    4. I non-figuratively don my prosthetic lexical daisy-cutter penis and irrumate your buccal 'smiley'.
      You will prostrate yourself and exclaim "I'm not worthy", and I, with atypical aplomb, will accept the adulation stoically as my due.

      Delete
  16. Hm, okay, okay, let's do that. But once you're done, I hope you'll do it figuratively too! Boy have I been waiting for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been metaphorically reaming you cuntribbits for eons already.
      Those days are gone.

      Delete
    2. Shut up, ALTF.

      Delete
    3. I can't.
      It's a condition of my parole.

      Delete
  17. There are good and bad jokes and puns. The fact that you understood one does not automatically make it bad, Eumesmopo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i don't get the pun. pls explain.

      Delete
    2. Etymology of parole.

      Delete
    3. Nevermind me, I'm just practicing my drumming skills. ♪♫ bah dum tss dak dum tch bum dah dah dah tek tss ♫♪

      Delete
    4. Your drum kit sounds like trilettered onomatopoeia. Try to get it fixed.

      Delete
  18. Guys, guys. I had a dream last night where a Google employee was in my classroom popping balloons one by one until he popped one with the Google Reader logo on it and then I shouted "FUCK YOU GOOGLE" at him and woke up.

    Do you think it's symbolic of anything?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Symbolic for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    2. Oh shit, forgot to log out.

      Delete
    3. And to kill myself, too.

      Delete
  19. I typed in the word for the captcha, but forgot to type in the number. Yet it still published my comment. So here's a test post to confirm my findings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely works :D

      Delete
    2. No it doesn't. I'm doing it right now and the post isn't even going to appear.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  20. i don't even have to fill out a captcha
    losers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, oh god. Can't believe I hadn't recognized you during all this time. ...Hipsterman! You're Hipsterman, right?

      Delete
  21. Wow, I've read this thread and the xkcd 1190 forum thread. The difference between the two was quite hard to find. Both of them are here for entertainment purposes. Both of them brought in a crowd. The big difference was really in the manor they've done it in. I think the easiest way to describe it would be like comparing a carnival to a terrorist cell. Sure Rob, you have a following, but does it really count when they're all just looking for something to hate too. When it comes down to it your site revolves around pointless attacks and ratings of an entertainment medium. The biggest problem isn't that you rate them, it's that you've already rated them, you can say that you would give it a chance, but your ideas are bias even when you chose the name of your site. Your rating scale basically goes from 0-3 out of 10. You hate xkcd for whatever reason and this site is a waste of time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >The difference between the two was quite hard to find. Both of them are here for entertainment purposes. Both of them brought in a crowd.

      Damn, I can understand why you saw no difference! Exactly the same! Mind-blowing similarities that can't be found ANYWHERE else. Thanks for the input, genius.

      Delete
    2. And apparently the majority of people on this thread are idiots. But i digress.

      Delete
    3. my ratings scale goes from F to about B- actually. i think i might have even given an A once or twice

      Delete
  22. Speaking of "the blurst of times", I reckon this would be an apropos time to introduce you cretinous cretins to the newly contrived and soon-to-be-famous "ALT-F Corollary" of the Infinite Monkey Theorem.

    "The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare."
    - Wikipedia.

    The ALT-F Corollary?
    Not only would this metaphoric monkey produce the complete works of Shakespeare, but would bring to fruition every book ever written as well. And, and here's the kicker, this same monkey would also beget every book that ever could be written too!
    Now is that fucking profound or what?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every babbling uttered by the great ALTF is nothing a mere monkey couldn't write. Heck, how do I know I'm not addressing say, a macaque, or a baboon, right now?

      Delete
    2. You don't!

      Speaking of macaques, The Tutor had an 'Alpha male to Alpha male' altercation with one once. A big male North Indian macaque encountered outside the Taj Mahal enclosure. Apparently, The Tutor made direct 'eye contact' at about 10 feet and remained motionless, save an uninterrupted 'stare'. The beast flashed its light-blue eyelids, bared his not altogether civilised dentition and waved his erect phallus - to no avail - The Tutor stood his ground, unflinchingly. After about 5 minutes, the defeated anthropoid skulked off, with its tail literally between its legs. The Tutor? Well as the new Alpha he availed himself of the dethroned Alpha's harem! Fifteen lithe and feisty beauties
      Ain't nature great!

      Delete
    3. Yes, good job "discovering" what you were too dull to realise the original theorem already implied.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous March 30, 2013 at 10:57 AM stated,

      "......Yes, good job "discovering" what you were too dull to realise the original theorem already implied......."

      I 'discovered' nothing; I 'contrived'.
      Please to engage a modicum of reading comprehension skills if you attempt to digest my dross.
      There's a good boy.
      You do not appear to me to be particularly thick, perhaps you are not trying hard enough?
      You're right about the 'dull' bit though. I'm as dull as a bag of bivalved vaginal speculums.

      Delete
    5. I'm not being a balding Canadian trustafarian with a claim to a Myanmarian transsexual makes a man "alpha".

      Delete
    6. Have I touched a nerve?
      Oh dear. The ego is a fragile, fragile thing.
      Innit?

      Isosexual for fuck's sake. Get it right.

      Delete
    7. And you so cold!

      The Stnes are doing Glastonbury this year.
      Your thoughts Kitten?

      Delete
    8. If they need the money, they should fuck off and do car insurance adverts.

      If they believe they have more to say artistically, they should just fuck off.

      If they just miss playing on stage, then I guess I can forgive them.

      Delete
    9. I could not have expressed it better myself.

      And I am sure the fair Aquarians would concur. She's off seeking absolution for having hurt that poor Anonymous person.

      Delete
    10. come now, sir. the Anonymodes aren't people.

      Delete
    11. The fuck I am. I just went out to buy another packet of fags.
      You crushed mine last night when you were lying on me, remember?

      Delete
    12. Now Lord Kitten, don't be too harsh. Mick and the boys gotta pay the rent ya know.
      Being a "Sir" has its costs as well as benefits.
      You have car insurance in Blighty?

      Rob?
      Sterculian thinks I mourn when I delete an email, much less annoy a lonely Anonymous poster. It's a 'Transference' thing though, I think.

      Delete
    13. Dear Uninformed~

      The Stones just sold "Sympathy for the Devil" to Mercedes Benz for a Superbowl commercial, filmed in New Orleans, no less -Home of the world's sexiest football team evs!

      Delete
    14. Aren't Americans cute with their sexy 'football' teams and all?

      Somebody post a link to the All Blacks doing a war Haka, show the little twerp what real sexy is!

      Delete
    15. That's really cute, Dickface. Did you think I'd forgotten the last person you called "twerp" was Drew Brees?

      Delete
    16. Have I touched a nerve?
      Oh dear. The ego is a fragile, fragile thing.
      Innit?

      You and Drew Breeze - a marriage made in a Louisiana sinkhole.

      Delete
    17. Is that for real? Iggy Pop selling car insurance? If so, you need to throw that in Omar's face stat, ALTF.

      Delete
    18. Nevermind, I'll do it myself.

      Delete
    19. Leave Omar alone.
      He's my bestest boyfriend.
      Iggy Pop is an arse - always has been, always will be.

      Delete
  23. I'm not being a balding Canadian trustafarian with a claim to a Myanmarian transsexual makes a man "alpha".

    Oh, snap!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Although that would've been funnier had the sentence made sense. Nevertheless, 10 points for intent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 20 points ya cheap cunt!
      It's worth at least that.
      The poor man has had his ego reamed - compensation is warranted. What are you?
      Heartless?

      Delete
    2. It really was a cruel retort. I remember one time I was chided for using an incorrect word. I was seven. I wanted to kill myself. Today, I am stuck working part time as a security guard and my entire diet consists of McDonalds discards. The scars run deep.

      Delete
    3. Witnessing a reprimand rendered masterfully by someone without the wit to form a proper sentence is funnier, I think. Especially when the recipient is ALTF.

      Delete
    4. I adore being the recipient of of witty reprimands.
      The wittier the better!
      This is the only reason I bother to sully this shite-hole of a blog!
      Unfortunately, they are few and far between here 'bouts.
      Yet I continue here unrewarded as I am for my efforts.
      When Lord Kitten or Rob deign to lower themselves to partially acknowledge my existence, I swoon.

      And since when does wit have anything to do with the formation of proper sentences?

      Delete
    5. I was using the word to refer to mental agility in general.
      Proper sentence formation requires a tiny but non-zero level of intelligence.

      Delete
    6. It's the 'arpy, mister. Stealin' me worms. Peckin' me eyes so I ain't able ta what ain't there. An' I'd ratha' go on the sligh'est errand nah to the than hol' free words' conf'rence wiv 'er.

      Delete
  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Think yer tough xkcdsucks commenters?
    Ha!
    I had constipation for 5 weeks once AND maddening genital itching caused by a ganon of blood wart leaches - and I loved it!

    ganon?
    Today's collective noun!

    My word-shake brings all the boys to the yard.
    And there like,
    It's better than yours.
    Damn right it's better than yours.
    I can teach you,
    But I have to charge.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Guns are for getting sexually aroused with, if you need them for anything else you Yankee arseholes, then yins are weak.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then what are they supposed to play russian roullete with?

      Delete
    2. With what are they supposed to play Russian Roulette?

      мяч ?

      Delete
    3. ...or perform their traditional art of school shooting?

      Delete
    4. Eumesmopo don't banter with ALTF it's like watching a billygoat try to mount a lionness.

      Delete
  28. The glorious reign of Her Majesty, Dr. Miriam X - aka ALT-F - has come to an inglorious end.

    If you might seek those responsible for this heinous regicide, look no further than Leslie.
    And Omar.

    Sic Transit Gloria Gaynor.

    And you cunts are far too stupid to garner my interest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. we don't want you. We want ALT-F.

      Delete
    2. SR, you're like the old football coach who thinks he's still out there on the pitch - midfield, no less.

      Delete
  29. Goddamn these modern times of ours, those faggots are seriously getting out of control and starting to think they can do whatever they want. Today - while I was using the urinal - some random guy begun staring at me and then right out of the blue he put his hand on my dick... Times are indeed dire when you can't even masturbate on a public bathroom without getting voyeured and harassed.

    ReplyDelete
  30. SMBC has dominance over XKCD - not even sure why xkcd even HAS an audience anymore


                  SMBC         XKCD
    WRITING   SMUG         SMUG
    ART         CRAPPY       NONEXISTENT

    XKCD FANS: Do you see what I did here? A CHART! And with NO art - not even a STICK FIGURE. I bet you were just now thinking "ZOMG what a genius, just like me!" Anyway, this epitome of minimalist cartoon humor is yours absolutely free - as long as you rise to defend me from the plebeians, of course.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least xkcd almost never pull the "it's funny because it's feminist" jokes.

      Delete
    2. when has smbc done that

      Delete
    3. well I looked through the latest two and they weren't but I remember when there was a sequence of like 3 out of 5

      Delete
    4. when? i want to see

      Delete
  31. 1194: It's not a letdown if I stopped expecting you to be capable of things beyond the mediocre, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn't the Earth have replied with something like "God exists"?

      That's it, though. No other indication that this may or may not be an April Fool. Just leave it there so cuddlefish forever wonder whether Randy isn't an Amazing Atheist after all.

      Delete
  32. Ok, with 1195 it's pretty clear that Randall just doesn't give a fuck anymore. This renders the entire point of this website pointless, since he obviously doesn't care anymore.

    This is a deep game! "There is a website called xkcd sucks, which I shall render pointless, by completely, obviously, and intentionally sucking."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That game played out a long time ago. It's why Carl abandoned post. We're just maggots happily playing in the carcass at this point.

      Delete
    2. i would have let the blog die were it not for the fact that the comics immediately following Carl's resignation were mind-blowingly awful. i felt like that was randy saying 'ha ha ha you are powerless against me,' and i refused to let such a challenge stand.

      Delete
  33. Anonymous April 3, 2013 at 8:50 AM revealed,

    ".......Eumesmopo don't banter with ALTF it's like watching a billygoat try to mount a lionness......."

    Of all the compliments, back-handed or otherwise, the fair ALT-F has endured o'er the years, this is without doubt the best!
    This will bring a tear to her eye, Anonymous!

    I was born free!
    I was booooooorn free
    I was born free, born free.

    Free, like a river raging
    Strong, if the wind I'm facing.
    Chasing dreams and racing fathered time.
    Deep like the grandest canyon,
    Wild like an untamed stallion.
    If you can't see my heart you must be blind.

    You can knock me down and watch me bleed
    But you can't keep no chains on me.

    ReplyDelete
  34. WAIT!
    THAT WAS THE WRONG BORN FREE!!!!!!

    THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE:

    Born free, as free as the wind blows
    As free as the grass grows
    Born free to follow your heart

    Live free and beauty surrounds you
    The world still astounds you
    Each time you look at a star

    Stay free, where no walls divide you
    You're free as the roaring tide
    So there's no need to hide

    Born free, and life is worth living
    But only worth living
    'Cause you're born free

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've always preferred the short but succulent Ronnie Barker rendition from pre-Friedman '70s BBC prison docu-drama Porridge:

      "...born free, 'til somebody caught me..."

      Delete
    2. "Dear Mummy and Daddy. Some time ago the police came to my house looking for images of under-age children on my computer. I was arrested. I must apologise for being foolish and thank you for being great parents. Rather than wait and find out what will happen, I will go away. You must understand that I won’t be able to contact you for quite some time. Lots of love, Adam."

      Succulent indeed!

      Delete
  35. 4 MOTHERFUCKING MILLION DOLLARS! RIGHT AT YOUR FACES, MOTHERFUCKERS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. explain pls

      Delete
    2. http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/inxile/torment-tides-of-numenera

      Delete
    3. Meanwhile, http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/grimoire-forever/

      Delete
  36. Dr. M said: "Sheesh, I feel like I have created a cliff that might be too high off from which to jump."

    I responded: "Well, it's a brave choice."

    What is the wonderful thing about good satire? When it is really good one is quite unsure where, or when, to laugh. Only when one starts to think, 'Goodness, maybe this girl is serious', does one begin to appreciate just how funny it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou for taking the time to share that riveting snippet of banter. It was very amusing. I shall have to print it out on purple rose-scented paper, cut it into the shape of a snowflake, and include it in the scrapbook I've been working on.

      Delete
    2. "......and include it in the scrapbook I've been working on......"

      You mean, "and include it in the scrapbook on which I've been working"?
      It wasn't meant to be at all amusing. It was my final riposte in a comment string "pas de deux" in which I was engaged on another blog.
      I put it here for no reason whatsoever.

      Delete
    3. "It wasn't meant to be at all amusing..."

      Comics don't have to be funny.

      Delete
    4. No, you dickshit, he meant "I've been working on." If you want to give up all signs of humanity and talk like a fucking robot that's your problem, but don't impose your tediousity on other people.

      Delete
    5. You descriptivist fool.

      Delete
  37. Wow... You really fucking suck... I stumbled across this site and wound up wasting my time growing increasingly agitated at an idiot with a blog...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that sounds like a personal problem

      Delete
    2. So tonight the beast is fed.

      Alas never sated, but at least nourished.

      Delete
  38. the wossname, animation thing, seems to still be going. and to get stupider with every new frame. why are any of us even alive? society is fucked

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. andrew the melancholy catApril 6, 2013 at 7:04 PM

      yes

      Delete
    2. The animation thing is a cunning attempt by Randy to get more page views. It seems to be working.

      Delete
    3. Most of us aren't alive. I'm certainly not. I just work my tedious job day in and day out, keep myself alive, and hope to have sexual relations sometimes. I might end up breeding life one day, but nobody would ever accuse me of living.

      Delete
    4. ".......Most of us aren't alive. I'm certainly not. I just work my tedious job day in and day out, keep myself alive,......"

      Are you, or are you not, alive?
      Your statement is internally self-conflicting for chris' sake!

      Delete
    5. And yours is tautological.

      Delete
    6. Give me a break. Writing rubbish like that, I was obviously drunk out of my mind. How was I supposed to remember what I had written two sentences ago?

      Delete
    7. Anonymous April 7, 2013 at 9:05 AM teased,

      "......And yours is tautological......."

      Agreed.
      And tauntological as well, I hope.
      And alas! Hope springs eternal:

      Anonymous April 7, 2013 at 8:31 PM slurred,

      ".....Give me a break. Writing rubbish like that, I was obviously drunk out of my mind......"

      Fair enough.
      I appreciate your not altogether non-tautological candid candour - it's refreshing

      Delete
  39. perhaps if anon had put 'keep myself breathing' it would have been better. personally i definitely feel like something resembling a vegetable on a life support type machine which is basically the cowardly way i maintain metabolism/respiration/whatever by being unable to deny my pathetic self crisps and gin for long enough. it's technically 'life' but it only vaguely resembles what happy/normal people seem to have and do

    also, though, if there's even a hope of sex in your future then you are officially doing better at living than me

    perhaps i ought to just join the xkcd forums & have done with it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's get married next week, weaselsoup.

      Yes, I could be a vicious axe murderer (how does one kill an axe anyway?), but can you really say your current life is so good that it could do without the slightly increased chance of being bifurcated by the blunt end of a sharp instrument?

      Delete
    2. haha bless you

      can you really say your current life is so bad that it could do with adding a fat depressive to it??

      Delete
  40. It is appalling to see people applaud someone for whatever he does whenever he does it just because he is a self-proclaimed geek with large amounts of artificially inflated self-confidence.

    Yes, I mean Rob.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. whoa now
      i have never called myself a geek

      Delete
    2. whoa now
      We have never applauded Rob

      Delete
    3. whoa now
      rob's not artificially inflated, those pies were all natural

      Delete
  41. whoa now
    Where did I put my shorts?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Sic Transit Gloria Thatcher!

    The Scourge of the Argentine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I drink a Whiskey drink, I drink a Vodka drink
      I drink a Lager drink, I drink a Cider drink
      I sing the songs that remind me of the good times
      I sing the songs that remind me of the best times

      I never get knocked down though - alas.

      Delete
  43. Subway comic is a rip-off. Good job Randall.

    http://beyonddc.com/log/?p=4443

    (and since I'm having trouble getting beyonddc to display the image, it's also found here):
    http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8515/8572344680_ab690e4369_o.png

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look, don't call it a ripoff. That makes you look dumb. Just point out that there is a version of the same thing that is about 300 times better than Randall's one.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous April 8, 2013 at 12:33 PM said,

      "......Look, don't call it a ripoff. That makes you look dumb. Just point out that there is a version of the same thing that is about 300 times better than Randall's one......."

      It might be 350 times better, minimum. Now who looks dumb?

      Delete
    3. I would have expected a map like this to already exist in an official capacity, to be honest. North America needs to get its shit together.

      Delete