Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Comics 1177-1182: Randy Sucks


1177. Randy, you really, really suck at existential horror. F
1178. Randy, you really, really suck at making your contrived jokes actually work. F
1179. Randy, you really, really suck at not reusing your jokes. F
1180. Randy, you really, really suck at not being an elitist fuck. F
1181. Randy, you really, really suck at making jokes that anyone cares about. F
1182. Randy, you really, really suck at everything, ever. F

186 comments:

  1. Chris Houlihan's room

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chris Houlihan's for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  2. Rob, maybe you should really, really suck my penis.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Randy doesn't suck at sucking.

    ReplyDelete
  4. really wish you'd inline the comics they're all under some commie copyright thing so I don't think he can sue you (maybe in a court that only uses bitcoins)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rob you make president taft look like mr motivator

      Delete
    2. Where's the darn like button for Ms. Apolis?

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. What a bore. She doesn't even lick her fingers afterwards. The only sexy thing about that was the wedding ring.

      Delete
    2. Progress Report:

      Our inquiry around the hypothesis questioning the capability of "xkcdsucks.blogspot.com" anonymous commenters enjoying anything at all has so far been largely inconclusive due to the fact that the internet medium lacks trustable indicators of sarcasm or seriousness.

      Conclusion:

      This matter requires further study.

      Delete
    3. i have so much joy to give, euromuppet

      Delete
    4. That's because you never gave any.

      Delete
    5. What are your thoughts on onanism, Eumesmopo?

      Delete
    6. B-but it's bad!!!

      Delete
  6. Is it unhealthy to masturbate too much? I'm up to three times a day, four on weekends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you are a man it's okay. If you are a woman that sex was rightfully mine.

      Delete
  7. I recommend easing up once you start getting friction burns but if you like the extra texture don't let me stop you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. WAL-MART VS. THE MORONS (NOT A JOKE)

    I know lots of folks don't like Wal-Mart, but this is fascinating.

    This is spot-on.

    PLEASE, READ THIS TO THE END. IT IS VERY INTERESTING!!!

    Wal-Mart vs. The Morons

    1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

    2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

    3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March
    17th) than Target sells all year.

    4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco

    K-Mart combined.

    5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private
    employer, and most speak English.

    6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

    7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and
    keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

    8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought
    bankruptcy.

    9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

    10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are
    Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

    11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur
    at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

    12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.
    You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground
    work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart
    to fix the economy.

    This should be read and understood by all Americans… Democrats,
    Republicans, EVERYONE!!

    To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,
    it is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:

    a. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234
    years to get it right and it is broke.

    b. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to
    get it right and it is broke.

    c. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get
    it right and it is broke.

    d. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it
    right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to
    "the poor" and they only want more.

    e. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44
    years to get it right and they are broke.

    f. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get
    it right and it is broke.

    g. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our
    dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of
    $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get
    it right and it is an abysmal failure.

    You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our
    throats while overspending our tax dollars.

    AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED
    WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??

    Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end
    up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' (they never read anything)
    and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.

    AND

    I know what's wrong. We have lost our minds to "Political Correctness"
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Someone please tell me what is wrong with all the people that
    run this country!!!!!!

    We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless
    etc. and the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey and now
    Pakistan ( the previous home of bin Laden). literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

    Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do
    they get any breaks.

    AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter, children
    going to bed hungry, elderly going without needed medicines, and mentally ill
    without treatment, etc.

    Imagine if the GOVERNMENT gave U. S. the same support they give to
    other countries. Sad isn't it?

    *99% of the people receiving this message won't have the guts to forward this.

    *I'm one of the 1% -- I Just Did
    BEING UNITED SAVES AMERICA!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you might find this more what you're looking for 9:34

      Delete
    2. Do you mean "broke" in the sense of not turning a profit? Wouldn't those services be maintained by the government precisely because they are not financially viable, but benefit the nation in a broader fashion? I know the Cold War left America terrified of any measurement of value that isn't expressed in monetary terms, but it's time to grow up a little.

      Delete
    3. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234
      years to get it right and it is broke.

      Oh my god, that is the funniest thing I've ever read. Okay maybe just today. But wow that is so funny.

      Delete
  9. News from Brazil:

    *Marco Feliciano, a fundamentalist pastor who has publicly stated that "africans are cursed" and that "aids is cancer for gays" has been elected for the parliamentary commission on Human Rights and Protection of Minorities.

    *Paulo Maluf, a notoriously crooked politician who is even in the Interpol's wanted list has been nominated for the presidency of the Parliamentary Commission on Justice.

    *Blairo Maggi, a bigwig soy baron who was awarded with Greenpeace's "Golden Chainsaw" was elected president of the Parliamentary Commission on the Enviroment.

    *Renan Calheiros, a guy who has been found guilty by the Supreme Court of involvement in a lobbying scheme using money embezzled straight out of state coffers has been elected the head of the Senate.


    Ah... I love my country. ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what happens when you let subhumans run a country.

      Delete
    2. Would a subhuman have such a sharp sense of dark humor?

      Delete
    3. I don't know. My dog is pretty funny sometimes.

      Delete
    4. Funny for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    5. Euromuppet, all I read is, "My fellow countrymen are as tedious as I am."

      Delete
    6. Fresh news:

      The election of a know racist (Marco Feliciano) for the presidency of the Comission of Human Rights and Minorities has caused some protests by the affirmative action movement in Brasilia. Jair Bolsonaro - an outspoken defender of Marco Feliciano - has addressed the crowd with the following statement: "Go back to the zoo!"

      Delete
    7. Euromuppet, you are not as funny as ALTF. Stop trying. Also:

      "...know (sic) racist..."

      The Comission (sic) of human Rights and Minorities would be presided only by unknown racists.

      You go to tell it to Rob (sic), girl!

      Delete
    8. Euromuppet is funnier than 1:23, though. 1:23 is a nobody.

      Delete
    9. Would it be funnier if I had remembered to mention that this J.B. guy is actually a member of parliament which has already made many similar racist statements before, still there's no serious talk of deposing him? Or that he's a military veteran which has admittedly participated in the brazilian dirty war during it's martial dictatorship? Or that he has made apologetics for torture and murder of "subversive individuals"? Or that a considerable sum of our population wants him for president?



      Ehh... I guess I'm the only one who can laugh at 3rd worldish nazism.

      Delete
    10. are you sure you're in brazil and not the US?

      Delete
    11. Last time I checked I wasn't swimming in cash and coke, so: No, I must not be in the US.

      Delete
    12. IF ITS NOT LIBURTARIANISM ITS NAZISM HAIL RAND RON IS GREAT

      also 2day in pol sci i lernt dat politicians sumtimes r liers n falafalandaras. eg regan actaully wasnt Captin America but meer seenile cowboy actres, iron ladee ironicly never ironed, kissinga de-spite riting 'diplodomacy' was as suttle as fist [i]Perano[/i], an most Peronistas were not as hott as Banderas.

      see u guyz at da union bar n FUCK DA PATRIARCHY

      Delete
    13. "...iron ladee ironicly never ironed..."

      I confess: That cracked me up

      Delete
  10. 1183 was the first xkcd in ages that actually made me laugh. Well done Randall for occasionally getting things right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I found it moderately amusing when I thought the Roomba has gained some sort of sentience and was being bizarrely romantic. Then I read the alt-text, and apparently it was just a prank somebody pulled. So the joke Randall was trying to write was kind of lame, but the joke I read instead was adequate.

      Delete
    2. Adequate for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  11. How long have you been secretly in love with Randy and XKCD?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does it look like a secret to you?

      Delete
    2. Secret from a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  12. "Twelve American nuns have been suspended from their convent after going on an alcohol and sex fuelled holiday. The women, all aged between 22 and 31, went on the Club 18-30 holiday without telling anyone where they were going. On returning from the debauched break last week and immediately found themselves in hot water with the mother-superior. During the trip it has been claimed the nuns slept with a total of 43 men between them on the two-week trip. When quizzed about where they'd been every single one of the holy women confessed to what they had been up to. Amazingly the 12 ladies tried to excuse their behaviour by claiming they wanted to experience sin.

    Well I saw that and my jaw just dropped. This is nothing short of obscene: if there are twelve of them then its not 'between', now is it? It has to be 'among'!
    What the fuck is wrong with these Tabloid Writers? Are there no standards at all any more?

    Seemingly not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe the men were all Lucky Pierres?

      Delete
    2. A 43 man concatenate of "Lucky Pierres"?
      Clever.
      Ya got me.

      Delete
    3. it is definitely 'between'. you are wrong again

      Delete
    4. Wrong for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  13. I've hated xkcd for a long time. Allow me to suggest an alternative: Order of the Stick. Yes, it's D&D themed, but it's excellently written -- and the author doesn't beat you over the head with how lame and stupid you are for studying something other than science, engineering, or technology in college.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vaylon Kenadell March 8, 2013 at 10:25 PM said,

      ".......I've hated xkcd for a long time. Allow me to suggest an alternative: Order of the Stick......."

      I've hated you for but a very short period of time. Allow me to suggest that you fuck off?

      Delete
  14. Anonymous March 8, 2013 at 4:22 PM said, in error,

    ".......it is definitely 'between'. you are wrong again....."

    I am always wrong - including now.
    The correct preposition is neither "between" nor "among".
    My reason for discarding "between" is only partly correct - a number greater than two is not necessarily prohibitive of the use of "between". There is another pertinent reason why "between" is not apropos - the word "nuns", although composed of a number of distinct individuals, is not 'distinctive' in and of itself.
    The word "among" is entirely incorrect because it is preferred by fucking Yankees.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Eumesmopo is the biggest faggot on here. What a pathetic fat loser

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's bullying! I'm going to tell it to Rob!

      Delete
  16. Oh dear!

    “An era can be said to end when its basic illusions are exhausted”

    “Fuck off! I ain't touchin' that Venusian delta of yours: who knows where it's been. Besides it's time to close the fucker!"

    One's by Arthur and the other, Henry.
    You can choose.

    Personally, I like quotes from "Tarzan's Naked Lunch" by William Edgar Rice Seward Burroughs.

    "Me Tarzan. You mugwump jism!"

    ReplyDelete
  17. Randall's really been phoning it in lately; not only does xkcd suck, but he's not even making an effort anymore. Fortunately, the world seems to be learning and xkcd's popularity is finally declining (there was a brief spike in interest for the huge graphic in 1110); http://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=xkcd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like how Randy's fans are finding it increasingly difficult to gush over his shitty failcomics, so most of their attempts at praise now sound like this: "I'm not sure if this is exceedingly clever, or just nerdy. Or both. So conflicted."

      Delete
    2. Difficult for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    3. It's unlikely to dip that down though, if you consider how smbc is doing: https://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=xkcd%2C%20smbc&cmpt=q

      Delete
    4. actually, ignore that since smbc is some acronym too

      Delete
  18. Am I the only person who likes to stick his finger a little way into his anus, fart, and then sniff the aroma of poop and fart? Sometimes i will wipe my finger over my balls or under my arm first. Really, guys, you should try this. Also any women do similar, perhaps starting with a digit up the axe wound?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, I also stick my finger in 1:59's anus and smell his farts.

      Delete
    2. And when I say Freud was right you don't believe me...

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    3. Freud's theories could never have predicted anything specific about the allure of poopfart sniffing. He could only have considered it in hindsight and heaped more theories on top of his old ones. Then when new data contradicted these theories, he would have elaborated them further instead of seeking a concept that was capable of elegantly encompassing the full scope of poopfart sniffing.

      Delete
    4. Are not all farts poopfarts? For what is a fart but the zephyr that heralds a poop?

      Delete
    5. As does the Pope herald God.

      Delete
  19. Tsk tsk tsk Randy, did you forget the keyword for defining functions in the beloved python you are so fond of nerdgasming about? The code's too faithful to all of python's syntactical quirks to be pseudocode, but I'm certain Randy and/or his fans will pull that "oh it's just pseudocode" bullshit sooner or later. Either that or comic edit in T-10...9...8...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Python was allowed to happen because the Old LISP Guard have become sufficiently senile that even they prefer Python.

      Delete
  20. my job interview quicksort more went along the lines of 'quicksort sucks, let me describe mergesort' and afterwards a long rant on why mergesort is better.

    i didn't get the job, but i think i was pretty close

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That might be because they want you to spend your time at work writing code rather than ranting about how suboptimal the approach in the existing codebase is. You probably just came across as a giant douchebag who doesn't know how to implement quicksort.

      Delete
  21. 1185 was actually funny. Except for naming it Ineffective Sorts. That's just silly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How was it funny? Randy managed to fail even at the simple task of writing an ineffective sort algorithm; instead of an unaffected list, which is what you'd expect from an ineffective sort algo, the first panel outputs garbage.

      Where did he fuck up? He got confused between the syntax for nesting lists, [a, b] and concatenating lists, a+b.

      Delete
    2. >instead of an unaffected list, which is what you'd expect from an ineffective sort algo

      That's quite a stretch. Obviously an ineffective sort algorithm is any sort algorithm that doesn't work.

      Delete
    3. At any rate, a sorting algorithm should return a list of the same type fed in.

      An algorithm that outputs "[2,1,3,4,5]" or "[4,3,5,2,1]" (by your argument), given "[3,2,5,4,1]" is an ineffective sorting algorithm.

      An algorithm that outputs "[[[3], [2]], [[5], [[4], [1]]]]" given "[3,2,5,4,1]" isn't a sorting algorithm at all (ineffective or otherwise). It's a failed attempt at one.

      Delete
    4. @rob how do you sort something poorly? it's either sorted or it's not.

      Delete
    5. it's like when you're at the grocery store and there's a bag of chips where the beer is supposed to be

      Delete
    6. Anon 6:45 is a bit dumb.

      Delete
    7. He was only pretending. Are you irritated, dude?

      Delete
    8. No, he was only pretending. Are you smug, man?

      Delete
    9. I'm telling you, it's the title, man. It would be better untitled. I just think of it like four instances of computer science students who suck at their assignments.

      I like the second frame because it has a real joke in it. He says it runs in O(n log(n)) time, and technically it does, but only because he arbitrarily stops trying at that point. The last two frames are fun, too.

      Even the alt text is amusing.

      Delete
    10. First one in a long time to actually get a laugh from me.

      But I guess fuck you if you're not familiar with sorting metrics. Come back next month.

      Delete
    11. Is this supposed to be especially funny for people who have just done comp sci 101 or something? Or maybe it's for those who are interviewing for their first job and need to memorise simple algorithms which show no talent beyond, "Did he read his textbook last night?"

      I've never understood this on-going obsession in the US with sort algorithms. In England, many many years, ago I had to learn the basic sorts in Computing A-level when I was 17 or so. I'd still consult a textbook before implementing, because any real-world implementation (which for some reason isn't satisfied by a standard library) needs to be robust and efficient.

      Perhaps it's like a Masonic handshake. "CAN YOU DESCRIBE A QUICKSORT?" It's not that it requires thought to recite the scriptures. It's just that it makes people feel less lonely when they see everyone around them doing it.

      Delete
    12. Where are the ENDIFs here? I can't read this pseudocode at all.

      Delete
    13. I recently did job interviews in the US, and yes, one of the many coding questions I was asked was to implement a merge sort. Considering I interviewed with 28 different people in one week (3 companies, one of them with multiple teams, and multiple people per team), and only got one sorting problem, I don't think they're as obsessed with it as Anon8:35 suggests.

      And even the merge sort question had an additional requirement so I couldn't just use the textbook implementation. The idea is to see how you think, after all.

      And yes, I did get hired. In fact, I got offers from all three companies and had to choose. :)

      Delete
    14. I know that feel, 8:45

      http://xkcd.com/859/

      Delete
    15. Sven, everyone on the Internet is That Genius Who Interviewed With Everywhere And Got A Job Offer From Everyone. You didn't need to type it all out.

      Delete
    16. 1185 is like one of those Magic Eye pictures where, no matter how much I stare and squint at it, I can't see what everyone else is seeing.

      Delete

  22. Flooding ALL White countries and ONLY White countries with non-Whites and telling everyone to "assimilate" to create a "brown future" is White genocide.

    Africa will still be full of Africans

    Asia will still be full of Asians.

    Only White children will suffer from this.

    Read the UN genocide conventions: It is genocide, White Genocide.

    They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-White.

    Anti-racist is a code word for anti-White

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why don't you just die already euromuppet

      Delete
    2. Bargon wanchi kox paa, Stalin.

      Delete
    3. 4:02 AM

      Don't worry son. I'm a flip flop wearing da Silva, fate will do it's part soon enough.

      Delete
    4. Those who laugh at ALTF do so with envy. Those who laugh at Euromuppet do so with pity.

      Delete
    5. @5:18
      Shut up ALTF

      Delete
    6. Laughing like a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    7. White people aren't actually a different species from black people, so even if all white people somehow die of it doesn't actually qualify as genocide.

      What is more likely to happen is that all races will interbreed so much that in a few centuries, racial distinctions won't exist anymore, at least not to the degree they do now.

      Delete
    8. Fuck off, Sven. Multi-culturalism is diversity. I have reported you for nazism.

      Delete
    9. Welcome to the party, son.

      Delete
    10. The Grand Clichés of History, Part I: If The Economy Breaks, Western Europe Goes Nazi.

      Delete
    11. Sven, that's basically what he was saying, except he postulated that it is the legacy of the whiteies that is being progressively subsumed as we inch towards this future melting pot. Maybe you would enjoy xkcd more if you learned to read >:(

      Delete
  23. REMEMBER THE ASS TURDS

    ReplyDelete
  24. So what's everyone going to do now that Google Reader is shutting down? Don't deny that you still have xkcd on an RSS feed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i already switched to feedly, which automatically synched all of my greader subscriptions

      Delete
    2. If I am not mistaken, I have never 'enabled' an RSS Feed of my various blogs.
      I do not, nor have I ever, used the service. Also, I am not, nor have I ever been, a member of the Communist Party.

      Try not to be too predictable in your response to this revelation. Better yet, do not respond at all.

      Delete
    3. Shut up, ALTF.

      Delete
    4. Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck everyone who won't put a light in their window and stay up all night fucking you!

      Wait, that's not right.

      Never mind, you know what I mean.

      Delete
    5. Seriously, you're still using RSS? Just let it die already. There are plenty of better options available. You may be surprised to know that Twitter and Google+, already do 90% of the things you 'need' from Google Reader. And if you still insist on choosing your own news feeds, at least switch to something a little more Web 3.0, like Pulse.

      But I find it much more engaging to read things my friends have discovered. I hope you do too. If you just opened your eyes and embraced the future of social media, you'll see how right I am.

      Delete
    6. Anonymous March 16, 2013 at 11:33 AM said,

      "......Seriously, you're still using RSS? Just let it die already. There are plenty of better options available......."

      Seriously, you're still using 'Anonymous'? Just let it die already There are plenty of better options available. Have you found it engaging to read that your friends have discovered you're a cunt?

      Delete
    7. he thinks they're joking

      Delete
    8. Excuse me, I have a Klout score of 109, and I get retweeted almost every day. I should think I, of all people, know that my friends love me. The reason I still occasionally use the Anonymous name is so that I can interact with people without the constant positive attention of people knowing who I am. No one has ever called me a cunt.

      Delete
    9. You can try denying the facts but he is definitely one of the top three alphas of xkcdsucks.

      Delete
    10. This is like worrying about who manufactures the toilet seat.

      Delete
    11. Anonymous March 16, 2013 at 2:20 PM cooed,

      Excuse me, I have a Klout score of 109, and I get retweeted(sic) almost every day.

      And yet you are fucking illiterate!

      I have a Clout score of Avogadro's Number by virtue of my "Carry and Conceal" license for my Bushmaster AR-15 + 100 round drum, and I get re-arrested almost every day.

      Delete
    12. I have learnt three things because of this thread:

      1) What a Klout score is
      2) Barack Obama has a Klout score of 99
      3) Klout scores range from 1-100
      4) Anon 2:20 is a liar
      5) Everyone already knew this

      Delete
    13. 11:29 AM:

      Number five is wrong.

      Delete
    14. I have learnt only one thing from Anonymous March 17, 2013 at 11:29 AM.

      The cunt does not recognise hyperbolic irony with his #4 pronouncement.
      I admit though, I've not heard of Klout prior to this thread either

      Delete
    15. Aquiraans, I feel like sating your histrionics with my submissiveness, so I ask: how much, in CAD$, for a good, hard shag?

      Delete
    16. There is no 'sating' of my histrionics.

      I don't 'do' boys and CAD$ are hardly an impetus.

      Delete
    17. Anonymous March 17, 2013 at 12:54 PMMarch 17, 2013 at 3:29 PM

      I'm not paying for you to 'do' me, just to send me over a tuft of your pubic hair.

      Delete
    18. It was indeed hyperbolic irony, ALT-F. It was also a lie.

      Delete
    19. It was a typo. I meant to write 19, but my finger slipped, and pressed the adjacent key. That I didn't notice it at first is perhaps a sign that God has a sense of humour. That being said, I am still more powerful and influential than you mouthbreathers could ever hope to be. And you should have heard of Klout. Randall did an xkcd about it.

      Delete
    20. Heh, Rob has a Klout score of 29.

      And Gary Glitter has a Klout score of 42.

      Delete
    21. @Anon 11:33
      I will break one finger for every time you say Pulse is a decent substitute for an RSS reader.

      Delete
    22. And what are you talking about, Anon 3:34? I have no sense of humour.

      Delete
    23. I'd rather have Pulse than an RSS reader. It has the entire DSOM album on it, played better than the originals. And no shrill Roger Waters voice.

      Delete
    24. It's OK, 2:20, you don't have to worry about that constant positive attention thing here. Even if you weren't being kind of a douche.

      Delete
  25. This should be renamed "Randy Really, Really Rules at Sucking".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rob really really sucks at appropriate titles

      Delete
  26. Replies
    1. Ghey for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    2. FOOL for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  27. http://xkcd.com/1187/

    Why are the tires turning into dust?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square-cube_law

      Delete
    2. Cool for a FOOL, maybe

      Delete
  28. "___ for a FOOL maybe" is easily the worst meme this blog has ever generated, and that includes the "Hi Randy!" one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. worst meme for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    2. Please see the first comment for this review.

      Delete
  29. http://xkcd.com/1187/
    Randy is an overreacting spaz.

    This one would be funny if the joke was "I'm an over-reacting spaz. See how much I freak out because a video's aspect ratio is wrong! This must be why nobody likes me."

    Instead the joke was apparently that anyone who isn't an elitist turd like Randy deserves to have their most expensive personal belonging destroyed.

    Next week, he'll rehash the same joke but show a picture of a house burning down with voices crying for help inside with the alt-text "This is what I do to people who suggest algorithms that don't run in O(NLogN)!".... but even then it would still be funnier than this one because the implication of the joke would be that he over reacted rather than that any sub-Randall humans actually deserve such a fate.

    ReplyDelete
  30. hard to tell what the joke is since it's not funny.

    I might chuckle at a comic of what someone does to a nerd who fucks with his car though. But that's just because i find everyone's pain but mine to be mildly amusing.

    ReplyDelete
  31. i kill people who upload 360p videos because i have aspergers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aspergers for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  32. [Alt-text] Wow, he's really going for the middle school nostalgia ticket with a fucking Animorphs reference.

    Next week, let's try to really bury any remaining hope 1185 may have inspired with a finely crafted labyrinth wreathed in R. L. Stine metaphors.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I saw some old photos of executions by decaptation in Imperial China and concluded that Kill Bill is a scientifically accurate movie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read the Wikipedia article on Plato's Cave and concluded that The Matrix is a philosophically profound movie.

      Delete
    2. Philosophically profound for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    3. I watched Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice's Evita and concluded that Euromuppet is a behaviourally accurate upper-middle class Argentinian.

      Delete
    4. Behaviourally accurate for a FOOL maybe.

      Delete
    5. Behaviourally accurate FOOL maybe.

      Delete
  34. Lord Kitten March 18, 2013 at 3:14 PM mourned,

    ".....Heh, Rob has a Klout score of 29. And Gary Glitter has a Klout score of 42......"

    What about Pete Townshend? Or Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile OBE KCSG?

    ReplyDelete
  35. 1188: Apparently Randall's idea of playing catch is two people alternating at throwing the ball and catching it themselves. They continue this until the program crashes for running out of stack space.

    This shouldn't bother me, but somehow it does. Immensely so. Way more than his contrived "unmatched (" example bothered me. If you're going to use code as a metaphor, at least try to make it make sense, Randall!

    PS: )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just a dumb play on the word "throw." You are right, in that it would have been slightly less dumb if there had been a member function in class P that threw the ball, and the aim function called it on the target object (though then, obviously, target is a stupid name.) But if you took a thimble full of water out of the ocean, it would be slightly less wet.

      Delete
  36. Replies
    1. am I missing something here? It's losing because it sucks.....

      Delete
    2. We want everybody else to love xkcd so our hatred can be more special. We already lost Carl to the decline, we can't let it happen again.

      Delete
  37. Sic Transit Gloria xkcdsucks

    We await the white smoke of the Council of Cunts that proclaims,

    "Habemus Blogam"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hm? 'xkcdsucks'? What declension and case is this? Are we getting sloppy?

      Delete
    2. Third declension neuter - ablutive case.

      I dare you to take the bait.

      Delete
    3. There's so much bait there I'd get fat. And there's nothing less appealing than a fat middle-aged man on the Internet trying to spark conversation with a Myanmarian transsexual.

      Delete
    4. Your first sentence conflicts, factually, with your last sentence. Perhaps using the comparative form of 'fat', that is 'fatter', would help?

      Transsexual?
      Ha!
      Isosexual more like.

      Delete
    5. habebimus verba. habuerimus verbera.

      That should sort out the quinoa from the wheat.

      Delete
    6. Ah yes, dissolution, heartbreak and the inevitable recriminations to follow.

      ALT-F, Verbera Dei et Anonyma!

      Query?
      How do you define 'middle-aged'?
      And how do you define 'man' for that matter?

      Delete
    7. Thirty-two; teeth delimit the buccal cavity.

      Delete
    8. Teeth delimit the buccal cavity?
      Not if you're middle-aged and a fucking Brit.

      Delete
  38. The fucking view is fucking vile
    For fucking miles and fucking miles
    The fucking babies fucking cry
    The fucking flowers fucking die
    The fucking food is fucking muck
    The fucking drains are fucking fucked
    The colour scheme is fucking brown
    Everywhere in xkcdsucks town

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. futile your shitty commentary is. doomed to imminent death this little blog is.

      Delete
    2. You're self infatuated yet completely worthless.

      Delete
    3. No, Rob is self-infatuated.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous March 25, 2013 at 6:53 PM pronounced,

      ".........You're self infatuated yet completely worthless......."

      Indeed.
      I am a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma and shoved up a dog's arse I am.

      Delete
  39. Sarah:
    Quando sono sola
    sogno all'orizzonte
    e mancan le parole,
    si lo so che non c'è luce
    in una stanza quando manca il sole,
    se non ci sei tu con me, con me.
    Su le finestre
    mostra a tutti il mio cuore
    che hai accesso,
    chiudi dentro me
    la luce che
    hai incontrato per strada.

    Time to say goodbye. -- Con te partirò.
    Paesi che non ho mai
    veduto e vissuto con te,
    adesso sì li vivrò.
    Con te partirò
    su navi per mari
    che, io lo so,
    no, no, non esistono più,
    it's time to say goodbye. -- con te io li vivrò.

    Andrea:
    Quando sei lontana
    sogno all'orizzonte
    e mancan le parole,
    e io si lo so
    che sei con me, con me,
    tu mia luna tu sei qui con me,
    mio sole tu sei qui con me,
    con me, con me, con me.

    Time to say goodbye. -- Con te partirò.
    Paesi che non ho mai
    veduto e vissuto con te,
    adesso sì li vivrò.
    Con te partirò
    su navi per mari
    che, io lo so,
    no, no, non esistono più,

    Both:
    con te io li rivivrò.
    Con te partirò
    su navi per mari
    che, io lo so,
    no, no, non esistono più,
    con te io li rivivrò.
    Con te partirò

    Io con te.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Rob, you really, really suck at updating this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  41. F Y CN RD THS Y MST B WLSH

    Does this sentence look pathetic to you? Be forever grateful that you hail from a wealthy and fertile land, a land that produces an abundance of goods and services. Be thankful you can afford to trade for such pleasantries and caprices as VOWELS. I have created "Vowels for Wales", a non-profit foundation dedicated to helping those most wretched of souls. If you have any vowels you don't really need, please send them in.

    Thousands of Welsh owe their miserable lives to the afflictions of their native tongue. They sit in their caves with their sheep and prostrate themselves before their humble twig-and-pebble alters, adorned as they are with any shiny things they might have found, and chant phonetically, in a language even they cannot comprehend.

    Some naysayers foment that it'll never work just giving them vowels. They say we'll only encourage in them sloth and dependency. They insist the Welsh should be encouraged to take advantage of their amazing comparative advantage in the production of consonants. They would be far better off trading with prolific vowel suppliers like the Hawaiians.
    They might be right; it is simple economics I reckon.

    ReplyDelete
  42. The Americans have discovered a very large prime number, which they claim, is the largest yet. Predictably, they will attempt to keep it for themselves, even though the set of all integers, including the primes, is the common inheritance of all the world, and should rightly be under the wise governance of an appropriate international body.

    This vulgar selfishness is no laughing matter. Very large prime numbers are an indispensible resource for the digital protection of information, which is called, encryption. As the Americans crudely and cold-bloodedly race to seize the high ground and sequester all of the large primes for their own, no doubt militaristic, use, they recklessly deplete a scarce and finite resource desperately needed in the developing world.

    We must demand that this number, this alleged number, be turned over at once to the proper authorities, so that it may be divided fairly.

    Of course the Americans are always bragging about how they have the world's largest ball of twine, or the largest hamburger, and then there is their dreadful 'World' Series, so you must take their claims with a grain of salt. It may very well be that this supposed very large prime, is merely a perfectly common little number, like eleven, or eighty-three.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And before some arse mutters, "But if it's a prime number, it can't be distributed fairly", I say, "Of course it can be distributed fairly. All that is needed, is a commitment to justice, and the political will to make it a reality."

      Delete
    2. "...they recklessly deplete a scarce and finite resource..."
      Scarce? Yes. Finite? No.
      Come on Alt-F, you should know better
      http://primes.utm.edu/notes/proofs/infinite/euclids.html

      Delete
    3. You noticed that?
      Good for you.
      Now do two things....
      1) Learn to code for a "live-link" - I do not 'copy-paste' for anyone.
      2) Consider the 'potential' cognitive dissonance inherent in that alleged peccadillo assuming it was, and it was, rendered purposefully.

      Delete
  43. About your two things:
    1) I'm a web developer, I am quite capable of coding a link, but I am supremely lazy, particularly on this site.
    2) That's what they all say...

    ReplyDelete