Sunday, September 1, 2013

Comics 1251-1258: I Have Literally No Memory Of Reading Any Of These

1251. So. Boring. F
1252. See previous comment. F
1253. Did you know that people on the Internet are stupid? It's true! Fun fact: Randall Munroe is a person on the Internet. D-
1254. Back to the mind-numbingly boring. F
1255. It would be kind of entertaining if kids were taught that Columbus's discovery led to an era of genocide and exploitation from which some of the affected cultures would never recover. C-
1256. No. F
1257. Stringing a bunch of cliches together does not a comic make. F
1258. This might be more amusing if it were actually true. (No it wouldn't.) F

80 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. That's funnier than that cancer Megan had (before she died).

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  2. you suck
    sincerely,
    me

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  3. I'm now convinced that Rob is retarded. 1252 has the worst delivery of a shitty idea I've ever seen. It's pathetic beyond mortal comprehension, and all you can think of is "boring"? Besides that one, 1253 and 1255 are among the worst in today's batch, and 1257 is the best one he's made in a century.

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    1. >I'm now convinced
      >now

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  4. I just found this website and I'm not sure if you are trolling. I'm finding xkcdsucks very amusing without being exposed to the early versions of it - I only found out about its existence this year.

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    1. I just found this easily modifiable phrase and I'm not sure if you are trolling. I'm finding this phrase very amusing without being exposed to the early versions of it - I only found out about its existence this year.

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  5. Rob is Randal, this confirms it.

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Everyone. I'm as tired of saying it as you are of hearing it, but the real reviews are over here.

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  8. 1259 may be the best XKCD in lord knows how long.

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    1. Nice story Randall. Too bad it's a lie. Granted, the usual story about Ophrys orchids mimicking insects visually is a little oversimplified (they also emit insect pheromones, which probably have a lot more to do with getting the bees to screw the flowers than shape of the petal).

      The problem with Randall's story: Ophyrys apifera does have extant pollinators. It is unusual among the others members of the genus Ophrys in being able to self-pollinate, but this adaptation has allowed it to expand it range beyond the natural range of it's pollinators

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    2. Oops, and here's the cite for there being extant pollinators: http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.1086/509647?uid=3739744&uid=2&uid=4&uid=3739256&sid=21102610023013

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    3. this is the one with the colour picture right. the one Munroe clearly thinks is the most amazing digital painting ever to exist. it seems mean to hate someone just for the fact they think they're a good artist when they're not, but i hate him for it. in fact it's the whole reason his website exists isn't it, because he thought his beyond shitty, pathetic drawings of children in barrels deserved to be preserved for posterity.

      fucking arrogant fucking dickhole that he is

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  9. Of course children are taught that Columbus's voyages led to genocide. Howard Zinn wrote the most popular textbook in high school today. It swings the pendulum toward its own historical fallacies, mind - People's History propagated the whole "smallpox blanket" meme, which tactic is in fact recorded only once, as a suggestion during the French and Indian War that wasn't used because, y'know, white people die of smallpox too. But yeah, the whole genocide thing has been mainstream for quite some time now. Where've you been?

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  10. D- looks like a jizzing dickhead.

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    1. Amateur

      ,,,,,
      q p
       U
        `
         '

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    2. (_)_)::::::::D~~~~

      Does I wins?

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    3. ::::::::::D~~~~~
      (_)_)

      Together we can achieve greatness

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  11. FFD-FC-FFF

    BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

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    1. It's Randall's SSN, its in bit overflow hexadecimal!

      Captcha: smendai

      James Joyce drunkenly using a terrible syllogism argument.

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  12. wait until you see 1259, its literally the most fucking boring wank I've ever accidentally let my eyes peruse. What happened to xkcd, it used to be funny?

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    1. xkcd was never funny. 1259 contains some mildly interesting information slightly misrepresented and relayed in an annoying way. Which is pretty much exactly what xkcd did use two bees.

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  13. I'm gonna take a song literally lol BRB gonna write awesome comic about this

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  14. Anonymous September 2, 2013 at 5:11 PM informed,

    ".........Nice story Randall. Too bad it's a lie. Granted, the usual story about Ophrys orchids mimicking insects visually is a little oversimplified (they also emit insect pheromones, which probably have a lot more to do with getting the bees to screw the flowers than shape of the petal).

    The problem with Randall's story: Ophyrys apifera does have extant pollinators. It is unusual among the others members of the genus Ophrys in being able to self-pollinate, but this adaptation has allowed it to expand it range beyond the natural range of it's pollinators........"

    The problem with your extant story is that it is boring as fuck. Then again, what could we expect from a cunt mimic such as you? The only exciting thing about orchids, be they of the Ophyrys genus or not, is the etymology of the word "orchid".

    From Latin orchis, from Ancient Greek ὄρχις (orkhis), meaning “testicle”!

    TESTICLE!
    And testicles, or so my man friends insist, are exciting as fuck!

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    Replies
    1. Yawny yawny cunt cunt.

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    2. Nyuck!
      I hope you do not use my signature phrase for commercial purposes and subsequent gain, 'cause, you know, like, that would be just uncool.

      Innit?

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    3. I do what I want.

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    4. No you do not!
      You do what I want!
      I wanted you to be a cunt, and voilà, you're a cunt!

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    5. ALTF, you're like the dinner party dullard who proudly points out the etymology of "hippopotamus" while the other guests try to conceal their embarrassment.

      (Literary reference - quick!)

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    6. Your simile is in error. I do not do so proudly - I am ashamed, actually. And, by the way, I would never "point out" anything - I just abhor phrasal verbs. If you weren't such a thalidomide stump sucking cunt you would have known that.

      At the dinner parties that I frequent - as an uninvited guest, of course - the other guests do not try to conceal anything. For example; they would be rather remonstrative about your status as a fucking cunt.

      I'm not sure about spreading for a River Horse, but I sure would have fucked River Phoenix.

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    7. At first I read that as 'smile' and I wondered how you knew he was smiling.

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    8. I am rather dismayed with you Jon Levi. You of all people should be well aware of the extreme level of reading comprehension that must be marshalled if one is to attempt to glean any 'information' from anything I might pixellate here.

      Putz!

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    9. At first I read that as 'dickmitized' and I wondered how you could see my dick.

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    10. Please, it's "dick-mitised'!
      Wonder no more my friend, I see all things of beauty.

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    11. 'Wonder no more my friend'

      Friend-zoned by ALTF?

      That hurts.

      But not as much as the missing comma.

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  15. Rob, just shut the fuck up. You're just burying Carl's genius under mountains of your inane garbage.

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    1. Rob is as lazier as he is smarter.

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    2. I just realised that if you converse with a person whom you know to be an idiot and you then call them a "moron", you are actually complimenting them?

      To wit:

      "Anonymous September 7, 2013 at 4:25/6 AM, you are a moron."

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  16. fuckface Jon Levi is at it again. In this week's review he insults an xkcd by comparing it to a highly successful sci fi movie. he makes frequent humorous references to this movie despite his apparent hatred of reference-based humor. and he pretends to rage out over his internet connection. it's actually quite sad really.

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    1. Shut up, you brute, Jon Levi is the best. I'm going to go there and read it five times just to spite you, so there!

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    2. Go home, Jon. Both of you.

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  17. In this time Tower Defence Games have greatly improve comparison that past appeared games. Tower Defence game is a types of strategy computer game which means award wining game, its game has main aim that shoot the enemy when they approach building towers and crossing certain points.
    Cheap LOL Account

    elo boost

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    1. Maybe I'm the first person here to say it but I find playing Tower Defence games really boring. I have started playing hundreds of Tower Defence games of various difficulties and probably finished a dozen throughout my life, not including Plants vs Zombies.

      I find it hard to pick up a Tower Defence game without immediately engaging a mindset of, "Here's a consumable that some guy has produced to make money and/or unload a set number of enemy units who are trying to get from a start point to an end point. What predefined path around which the player places their towers is he creating to enable this?" And that's how my whole playing experience goes. The Tower Defence genre makes no point well which can't be better made with tactical RPGs. It takes me nowhere without giving me the uncomfortable sense that someone thinks this is where I am supposed to need to be build and upgrade towers in order to stop enemy units from crossing the path. Tower defence idealises; it romanticises; it preaches. It falls asleep and it dreams. It is a selfish journey away from innovation in strategy gaming.

      Strategy games already have enough that is beautiful and that is abhorrent - and tactical RPGs are far more challenging to confront. Tower Defence has always seemed like the easy way out.

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    2. So you're saying you like MOBAs better than Tower Defense games? That's like saying that sports games are awful because you like racing games better.

      Are they paying you by the letter or something? You took three paragraphs to say basically one thing.

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    3. Maybe I'm the first person here to say it but I find reading comments that miss the point really boring. I have started reading hundreds of comments of various lengths and probably finished a dozen throughout my life, not including the ones made by ALTF.

      I find it hard to pick up a comment that misses the point without immediately engaging a mindset of, "Here's a consumable that some guy has produced to make money and/or demonstrate that he has not understood what is actually going on here. What sort of tilting at windmills is he engaging in to enable this?" And that's how my whole reading experience goes. Missing the point makes no point well which can't be better made with reading comprehension. It takes me nowhere without giving me the uncomfortable sense that someone thinks this is where I need to be to actually know what's going on. Missing the point idealises; it romanticises; it preaches. It falls asleep and it dreams. It is a selfish journey away from understanding what's going on.

      Cuddlefish already have enough that is beautiful and that is abhorrent--and ancient memes are far more challenging to confront. Missing the point has always seemed like the easy way out.

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    4. I am surprised there are new people here. Where did they come from? How did they find their way? Is it just somebody being tricky? It is a mystery.

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    5. If you google 'xkcd', this site is on the 3rd page. There's your answer.

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    6. If you google 'Jon Levi is a cunt' this, and only this, comment comes up on the first, and only page.

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    7. Who the bloody hell goes to the third page of a Google search? Google has long stopped producing enough relevant results for the third page to be worth it. It's too busy trying to second guess your intentions and concluding that you only want to see sites that pay it money.

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  18. It's midnight here and I'm going to play Amnesia 2. Suck my big cojones of steel you pussies.

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    1. I would be too scared especially when it is Friday 13 soon that would be so scary. Haven't you seen how those people on YouTube scream when they are playing Amnesia? It is just so scary I wouldn't do it.

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  19. Didn't Randy already do 1263, but with the conclusion that people are better at teaching computers to do things? Is he admitting that a python script could write his comics?

    Maybe a python script does write his comics.

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    1. Confirming that everything in Python is pretentious and mediocre yet cheerled by drooling fanboys.

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    2. Yeah, you're thinking of 894. And it was better than this.

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    3. @245 Do you dispute that the existence and frequent incantation of the word "Pythonic" makes Python superior to all other languages?

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  20. NEVER FORGET

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    1. sorry can't remember

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    2. happy birthday bashar :)

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  21. Rob September 13, 2013 at 12:41 AM mused in the pleasure dome,

    ".......Missing the point idealises; it romanticises; it preaches. It falls asleep and it dreams........"

    And what dreams are fomented!

    But alas, no permanence or respite can be found.
    A missing-the-point-inspired dream idle must be irreparably shattered by the arrival of a person on business from fucking Porlock.

    And don't fucking patronize me with your toadying use of the Queen's.

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    1. And also, this is the sixth time that phrase has appeared in/on xkcdsucks. The previous appearances being:
      Jan. 29, 2012
      Feb. 4, 2012
      Mar. 6, 2012
      Mar. 12, 2012
      Mar. 24, 2012
      Then again. I am missing the point - Innit?

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    2. that's an unlikely cluster of marches there. i suspect foul play.

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    3. Okay, you've chosen to ignore my clever use of the Romantic Movement poet STC - foul play indeed.
      Hows about a slightly skewed WW?

      What though the radiance which was once so bright
      Be now for ever taken from your sight,
      Though nothing can bring back the hour
      Of splendour in my ass, of glory in my shower;
      You will grieve not, rather find
      Strength in what remains behind;


      Ah wel-a-day! what evil looks
      Had Rob from old and young;
      Instead of my Cunt my Firmament
      About his neck was hung.

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    4. the rime of the ancient cunt, no?

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    5. I'm still quite young actually

      God save thee, ancient Rob the cunt
      From the fiends that plague thee thus
      Why look'st thou foul ? - With my bat cowl
      I fuct the ALBATROSS.

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    6. Why do you do it?

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  22. I spent 1 hour, 12 minutes and 39 seconds on my latest batch of reviews. That's 1 hour, 12 minutes and 34 seconds longer than Rob spends on his.

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    1. Rob is severely disabled. He can only communicate by typing out single letters at a time through a pattern of blinks. This last review took him just over 4 hours of blinking. He does it knowing that it's not the best, knowing that he won't get any thanks for it. I've seen him in his wheelchair. He always looks so sad. The last thing he needs is people mocking him for not conforming to some arbitrary standard, or saying that he's not good enough.

      YOU ASSHOLE.

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    2. But if it really took you over 1 hour to write, shouldn't it also take over 1 hour to read?

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  23. At least the website operators addressed in 1264 do their fades dynamically instead of providing a >1mb GIF. What's the matter, Randall? Five minutes of jquery beyond you and your sysadmin wasn't around to do it for you?

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    1. Randall likes pandering to his audience, and he knows that obsolete image formats are all the rage with the Tumblr crowd. Then of course there is the xkcd fan ritual of printing out a favourite comic to affix to an office door. It is a lot easier to do that with an animated GIF, albeit in flipbook format.

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