"[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic."
Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.
I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.
Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.
worst
ReplyDeletecursed
DeleteI'm genuinely curious why you still bother with this.
ReplyDeleteI'm genuinely curious why you think that being a garrulous bore about some children's comic makes you more worthy to critique it.
Delete"garrulous"?
DeleteWell fuck me from behind with a garrote, that's a mighty big word for such a small cunt.
I'm impressed.
Who better to critique a comic than a garrulous bore?
DeleteThe kind of things Rob doesn't give an F to: "I like to do x while doing y." "I think x is weird." "When x happens I'm all like y."
ReplyDeleteThe only thing worse than these comics is this post claiming there's a hint of quality in them. I could make a "comic" that is just a square with text in it saying "sometimes I try to avoid the lines on the sidewalk" and it would be as good as 1271. Fuck you Rob.
I like to read Rob's posts while touching myself, and I think reading Rob's posts is weird, but when it happens I'm all like touching myself.
DeleteAll this anonymous posters are randall
ReplyDeleteRob is randall too.
DeleteThis is about you.
ReplyDeletexkcd is a marshmallow. YOU ARE THE CRAZY PEOPLE. Get over yourselves.
Thank goodness you're here to stop all these cuh-RAZY shenanigans.
DeleteThis is about you.
Deletexkcdsucks is the mysterious fibers. YOU ARE THE MCNUGGET. Get over yourself.
That's like arguing that the Allied forces were crazy to stop Hitler. This is why you shouldn't let 6 year olds do your reasoning for you.
DeleteI watched some more of that kid's videos. They're kind of... I mean, is there any chance of changing this blog to ladyxeonasucks? The xkcd thing has run its course, and this spoiled brat with her indulgent mother are really getting me riled.
DeleteThe only reason I checked by here was to have my opinion that 'Juicer' deserved an F validated.
ReplyDeleteRob, you let me down.
You let yourself down.
DeleteAnonymous October 1, 2013 at 4:03 AM emetically yawned,
ReplyDelete".......I'm genuinely curious why you think that being a garrulous bore about some children's comic makes you more worthy to critique it......."
For fuck's sake, the phrase 'garrulous bore' is so common; cliché even! If you insist on using words far exceeding the level of your working/recognition vocabulary, at least use them in a novel way - we'd be totes impressed!
For instance, instead of using the word 'abject' to modify the word 'poverty', try using it as an adjective to modify the word 'luxury'. It fucks up all the pseudo-intellectuals, like real good!.
Off the top of my pretty little head, how's this:
"The problem with ALT-F is she suffers from an 'embarrassment of riches'." Now take the word 'embarrassment' and use it as a collective noun to describe something else. Like: "The problem with Anonymous October 1, 2013 at 4:03 AM is that he suffers from an embarrassment of fucking stupidity."
See?
I know. Right?
Don't let us down now. Okay?
Anon@August 12, 2012 at 1:22 AM said: "ALTF is both intelligent and a garrulous bore."
DeleteMemories!
DeleteI was totes popular back then.
The talk of the town!
Since that time, I've broken my phone, my telephone/Internet bill is still too high and I have a black eye. And I put on 3 pounds in New Orleans/Thailand/Lao PDR, which might not seem like much to you, but I'm devastated. I am currently starving myself and therefore very cranky as a result.
On the left side-bar, under the subtitle "Rob's Rants", I read the following:
ReplyDelete"When he's not flipping a shit over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language, xkcdsucks' very own Rob likes writing long blocks of text about specific subjects.
Where are these long blocks of text to which you refer?
There appears to be quite the paucity of 'new' long blocks of text of late. In fact, I cannot find anything which post-dates the Great December 2010 North American blizzard.
Have you been 'flipping a shit' over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language all this time?
Get over it! Let's settle it right fucking now!
Are you a prescriptivist, or a descriptivist?
prescriptivist < descriptivist < encryptivist
Deletei'm a shitsivist
Delete-ive
Delete— suffix
A suffix of adjectives (and nouns of adjectival origin) expressing tendency, disposition, function, connection, et cetera.
-ist
— suffix
1. ( forming nouns ) a person who performs a certain action or is concerned with something specified: motorist; soloist et cetera.
Yeah, you're a shitivist
I'm a cuntivist! Wallowing in descriptive prescriptions for various STDs.
Oh wait. You said "shitsivist", right?
DeleteNever mind then. I don't do dogs!
Yes you do.
DeleteThis sentence has three a's, one b, two c's, two d's, twenty six e's, five f's, three g's, nine h's, eleven i's, one j, two l's, thirteen n's, eight o's, six r's, twenty five s's, twenty t's, two u's, five v's, eight w's, three x's, and four y's.
ReplyDeleteDeal with that, cunts!
Sorry, I never deal because I can't shuffle. I'm more comfortable with the twist.
DeleteWhy didn't you count k's, m's, p's, q's or z's?
DeleteRacist.
I, man, am regal - a German am I
DeleteNever odd or even
If I had a hi-fi
Madam, I'm Adam
Too hot to hoot
No lemons, no melon
Too bad I hid a boot
Lisa Bonet ate no basil
Warsaw was raw
Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see god?
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod
Rats live on no evil star
Won't lovers revolt now?
Race fast, safe car
Pa's a sap
Ma is as selfless as I am
May a moody baby doom a yam?
Ah, Satan sees Natasha
No devil lived on
Lonely Tylenol
Not a banana baton
No "x" in "Nixon"
O, stone, be not so
O Geronimo, no minor ego
"Naomi," I moan
"A Toyota's a Toyota"
A dog, a panic in a pagoda
Oh no! Don Ho!
Nurse, I spy gypsies - run!
Senile felines
Now I see bees I won
UFO tofu
We panic in a pew
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog
Rats saw god, dog was star
Oh good we've descended to teen pop lyrics.
DeletePosts like Twitter; comments like Facebook.
Eumesmopo?
DeleteI serve up a wonderful Self Referential sentence with my 'perfect' computations being done with 'manual' binary decision diagrams (BDD's) - no computers - and you retort with fucking palindromes?
Fucking ignoramus!
Anonymous October 3, 2013 at 7:11 PM, "Why didn't you count k's, m's, p's, q's or z's? Racist."
Yeah. That's right. I'm a racist!
Fucking moron!
My comments > Grande Sertão Veredas > baroque poetry > sumerian epic poetry > classical french literature > philosophical transactions of the royal society > cave paintings > insane ravings on a asylum wall > facebook comments > twitter posts > bathroom stall graffiti > israelnationalnews.com comments > all other xkcdsucks comments > Rob's reviews >>>>>>> abyss >>>>>>> ALTF's comments
DeleteI take it you mean homo sapien cave paintings rather than neanderthal cave paintings, because even the primitive neanderthal produced work superior to anything that sap culture has ever come close to.
DeleteGreat list Eumesmopo! Unfortunately, because of a flaw in my visual recognition of nomenclature used to express mathematical domain knowledge I read those rogue chevrons as "leads to" rather than "greater than". That places me at the zenith and you at the nadir. You are being too hard on yourself, you don't suck that badly.
DeleteHow come these cunt cavemen only ever paint cows and pregnant Przewalski's horses? There were far more species around back then! There is no excuse for the paucity of their subject matter! And it looks like they did it with their prehensile feet, the filthy simians!
Though I must especially commend you on your inclusion of "israelnationalnews.com comments". That, dear friend, is rather witty.
DeleteOh, stop it you!
DeleteI sent Israel National News a cleansed -of-profanity version of The Tutor's "What To Do If You Meet A Jew" post. We'll see if it ever sees the light of the Middle East day.
Deletehttp://aquarianslovetofuck.blogspot.ca/2012/12/what-to-do-if-you-meet-jew.html
Pashtun from Lebanon. Yeah, makes sense.
DeleteTo commemorate the upcoming 947th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings, I've decided to reveal to the civilised world the fruits of my decades-long painstaking research into ascertaining the last words of Harold Godwinson, (Harold II), King of England as he defended his country against the vile Norman cunts.
ReplyDeleteTo wit:
"Dolor! Heu faecem! Nunc futui sum!"
futui?
DeleteObvious bored sci postgrad who aims slightly below their station so they're not called out on their mediocrity.
There is no station inferior to mine and I live to be called out on my mediocrity. I see no other valid reason to live. Do you?
DeleteFor you, no.
DeleteHa!
DeleteYou're so thick that if you got any thicker you'd be a singularity. I mean you already don't have any social events planned in your horizon!
Ha!
That's a 'Sheldon Cooper' quality funny! Or so The Tutor tells me. The Tutor watches commercial television. He's very mediocre.
Singularities are not thick.
DeleteI have been watching videos of "Hmong girls" on the You Tube and they don't look like they come from a people's democratic republic. All western make-up and western smiles. I am disappointed.
ReplyDeleteDolor! Heu faecem! Nunc futui sum!
ReplyDeleteI done wrotes it that way so cunts, when they copy-paste it into Google Translate, get, well, go look:
http://translate.google.ca/#la/en/Dolor!%20Heu%20faecem!%20Nunc%20futui%20sum!
I figger only the Brit-cunts have any Latin education, and they would know that Yankee cunts would have to use a translation programme to decode my genius.
A little understanding here, eh?
i ut futuaris, dilettante.
DeleteNice use of the subjunctive.
DeleteBut "dilettante"?
That ain't cricket!
I dabble in much and am a novice in even more, but in my chosen profession, I excel.
Don't ask. I'll only prevaricate.
Aquiraans, your insecurity is almost adorable.
DeleteAlmost?
DeleteFuck off!
And predictability.
DeleteSoooooooo jealz!
DeleteI no rite?
DeleteI reckon I asked for that. Innit?
DeleteDid you write this?
AQUARIAN RHAPSODY
Is this Aquarians?
Is she my fantasy?
Caught in her handcuffs
No escape from perversity
Open your eyes
Look up at the cunt and see
She's just a rich girl, she needs no sympathy
Because she's quick to post, rather slow
Rarely high, often low
Anyway the words blow, doesn't really matter to me (to me)
ALTF just killed a man
Held a book against his head
Struck it hard and now he's dead
ALTF's life had just begun
But now she's gone and thrown it all away
ALTF, oo-oo-oo-ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, because spelling really matters
Too late, my time has come
Her tutor's now online
And his writing's rather fine
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
ALTF, oo-oo-oo-ooo (anyway the words blow)
I don't want to post
I sometimes wish I'd never been here at all
I see a little silhouetto of a girl
Like to fuck? Like to fuck? It's the forbidden tango
Riding-coat and helmet, jewel-studded godemiché!
Obscure reference, obscure reference,
Obscure reference, obscure reference,
Obscure reference - erudite. One cornetto-o-o-o-ooo!
But I'm just a rich boy and most people love me
(He's just a rich boy from a rich family)
Bored with a kook on this shite holiday
Quick to post, rather slow - will I let her go?
Insha'Allah, no! I will not let her go (let her go)
Insha'Allah, I will not let her go (let her go)
Insha'Allah, I will not let her go (let me go)
Will not let her go (let me go) never
Never let her go (let me go)
Never let me go (ooo)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
United Nations, Petawawa, laissez-passer! let me go!
The Queen of Cunts has a chamber with a bed for me
For me
For meeeeee!
Lyrics by: "Anonymous"
I am still in awe of this. I'd love to again converse with the woman/boy who wrote that.
http://aquarianslovetofuck.blogspot.ca/2013/05/ode-to-me.html
Yeah. But "Petawawa", intra al., 's your edit. Now the danger is past, and the lingering fitness is over at last, and the fever called Lusting is conquered at last.
Delete*yields naked to the rainbow and swings up to the over-arching heaven*
No it is not!
DeleteI don't live in Petawawa. That's a shit-hole 15 kliks up the road and it's awash in vile Welfare-In-Green squaddies. Why would I have added that?
And if I did, what, pray tell, did it replace?
And don't fuck with Poe.
Nevermo'!
Speaking of the conquering of lustfulness, I give you Petronius:
Delete"Foeda est in coitu et brevis voluptas, et taedet Veneris statim peractae."
Original. Looks like SR's been fuzzing.
DeleteThe expanse of spirit in a waste of shame is lust in action. But enough about Rob.
Ah yes.
DeleteI guess I did change Minnesota to Petawawa.
And "Hearts" to "Cunts"
Some idiot back then kept insisting I lived in International Falls, Minnesota. I reckon that's where the lyricist of that wonderful "Ode" got Minnesota.
The original is cleaner, but like Sid's cover of "My Way", versus Frank's, it's not better or worse, it's just different.
See how much younger my avatar looked back then?
I'm older and darker now.
Just like Shakespeare's version of, "The expense of spirit in a waste of shame is lust in action.". Different than yours, but neither better nor worse. Though your use of "expanse" does temper the meaning a tad.
DeleteBesides, as far as this sort of thing goes, I prefer this one:
".......and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.
"Winkler" by Giles Coren
".....he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro....."
Like that's like, too funny!
Oh wait!
DeleteI get it!
You used "expanse" rather than "expense" to reflect that on-going idiocy about Rob's expansive demeanour.
Apologies, I am slow today.
Aquairans Lvoe To Fcuk October 7, 2013 at 12:00 PM copyedited:
Delete'...And "Hearts" to "Cunts"...'
Yes, wherefore intra al.
Also I wrote the original Odeipuss, as you suspect.
Who added the "Wrecks" bit then?
DeleteSpeaking of wherefore, most of the ignorant cunts in my little town think the mournful query of that Capulet slut, "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? is an inquiry after her dear heart's physical location beneath her window?
It's not their fault. Judy Garland intoned the line improperly during the Tin Woodcutter's song, thereby imprinting many generations of impressionable young minds with her misunderstanding. Your town would be a much better place today if she had only had a brain.
DeleteMy town, wherein nowt but the dead and dying reside, would have been much better had this:
Deletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalk_River_Laboratories#1952_NRX-incident
and this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalk_River_Laboratories#1958_NRU-incident
been more devastating.
What, no final verse? You tease.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteyeah, right.
Deleteseriously.
DeleteWhat a cunt.
DeleteWhen did he stop linking to achewood?
ReplyDeleteRob, how do you respond to allegations that you had Jon Levi killed so that you would have no more competition in the Xkcd insulting industry?
ReplyDeletethat is entirely false. i had jon levi killed so he'd stop waking me up in the middle of the night with his desperate pleas
DeleteYou fool! They were peas! He was offering you desperate PEAS!
DeleteYou're both wrong - he was offering desperate 'es. 'es Ebenezer good.
Delete(And, when it comes down to it, aren't all Jews drug pushers?)
Rob, your hitman was awful. He wouldn't even give me your money back. I have him tied up in the basement. If you don't claim him within a week, then I'm giving him to ALTF.
Delete1276 is maybe the most meaningless poster comic so far.
ReplyDeleteI maybe agree
DeleteNo. The noughts and crosses comic claims that title.
DeleteA bathtub fills at 10 gallons a minute from the taps and drains out the plughole at 5 gallons a minute. If the bath holds 100 gallons of water, how long before the bath overflows?
ReplyDelete20 mins!
DeleteI just checked with my bath.
Assuming this is Rob's bath and taking into account the flow of bitter tears, the function would be this:
DeleteV(t) = in(t) - out(t) + tears(t)
100 = 10t - 5t + 1271t
100 = 1276t
t = 100/1276 = .08 minutes
Rob does not bathe, or at least not in this manner. And even if he did bathe in this manner and on a regular basis, what makes you think his tears would be bitter? I reckon they'd be savoury and highly hydrophobic. They'd dance about on the surface of the bath water as droplets of water on a hot grill. Hissing and spattering, popping and exploding with vivacity.
Deletei thought we agreed not to discuss our tear play
DeleteYou agreed. I merely deferred. I could not withstand the sight of your pursed and trembling lips as they protrude to form a physical expression of displeasure and sulkiness - a pout. With those bee-sting lips of yours, and pouting like you always do when you do not get your way, wreaks havoc on my willpower.
DeleteLies.
DeleteYou have no willpower.
Depends on the initial conditions.
DeletePart two:
ReplyDeleteThere is a waste overflow four fifths up the side of the bathtub which drains a further one and one half gallons per minute from the bath. How long until the bath overflows now?
21 mins and 42.857142857 sec
Delete(No secs please, we're British)
I just checked in my perfectly cuboid bath.
You are in gross violation of the Law of Significant Figures.
DeleteI get 22.4 minutes.
Who's correct?
Are you sure?
Deleteyes
DeleteFair enough.
Deletei konkur
DeleteAnd one for the Yankee fuckers:
ReplyDeleteIf a brick weighs 7 pounds and half a brick how much does a brick and a half weigh?
Do not concern your pretty little heads about the quantity of straw that may, or may not, be constitutive of the brick. And please, no fucking Pink Floyd shite.
Six am day after Christmas
DeleteI throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
ALTF is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Myanmar
They're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
They call her 'cunt' at seven thirty
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
'Cause I was tired of lying
Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
I had to research this one.
DeleteI've not heard the tune nor even heard of the band.
And for future reference, I do not like receiving a clutch of the severed reproductive organs of certain herbaceous species as a gift and I do not live in an apartment. I live in a house, a big, fuck-off house, on uncountable hectares of land. I call it "Tara"
The symbolism of me ruining lives as a brick to a drowning boy is apropos though..
What about the severed reproductive organs of certain omnivorous species?
DeleteNothin' says lovin' like a dozen tastefully arranged artificially engorged horse langers I say.
DeleteHorses aren't omnivorous.
DeleteYou idiot.
You complete idiot.
About what are you talking?
DeleteOmnivorous refers to what the species in question may or may not ingest.
Herbaceous refers to what Kingdom the species in question resides
And it's not true anyway.
A mare will devour the placenta, if allowed, after giving birth.
And we won't even mention The Mares of Diomedes.
Such an idiot.
DeleteIt's "fucking idiot"!
DeleteGet your coruscating and dysphemistic invective correct, idiotically imbecilic moron!
And that's a compliment by the way. If you call a person you know to be an Idiot(IQ 0 - 50) a Moron(IQ 70 - 90) you are complimenting her/it/him. Unless said Idiot/Moron is a Yankee, then you are just being an oleaginous inveigler.
Imbecile(IQ 50 -70)
An idiot?
DeleteHardly.
Idiots - those who would score 0 to 50 on a standardised IQ test - cannot be taught to read and write. I do feel I have most demonstrably demonstrated my ability to at least write.
Conversely, Imbeciles - those who would score 50 to 70 on a standardised IQ test - can be taught to read and write, but just barely. At the very least, I must be considered a high-functioning Imbecile, if not actually a border-line Moron - those who would score 70 to 90 on a standardised IQ test.
"...I do feel I have most demonstrably demonstrated my ability to at least write..."
DeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAha...
nigur plz
Exaggeratedly stumbling into obvious ploys isn't particularly amusing, 6:08. Not unless you drop another joke in the process of doing so, anyway. That was xkcd quality banter and you are making the glorious anonymous hivemind look bad. Two more warnings and your membership card will be revoked.
DeleteI am a little reticent and am struck with a sense of foreboding. The 1,536 +/- renditions of the word 'HA' may possible reflect 'nervous laughter'. Nervous laughter is a physical reaction to stress, tension, confusion, or anxiety.
DeleteThis upsets me.
Anonymous October 11, 2013 at 6:08 PM is very stressed!
I am hoping, against hope, that it was a prolonged courtesy laugh instead.
How do you plant four seeds such that each seed is equidistant from the other three?
ReplyDeleteAre they seeds of destruction?
DeleteIn a tetrahedral shape! One of them just needs to go deeper.
DeleteI tested it in my garden.
Answer my question, cunt!
DeleteSo rude.
DeleteIndeed I am.
DeleteIt's an albatross I must bear.
And the problem of placing 4 seeds of destruction equidistant from each other becomes quite simple if you are a Yankee.
Did you know that Liberia, Myanmar and the United States of America are the only countries in the world that have not adopted the Metric System of measurement?
You're in fine company, fucking Yankee arseholes!
Since the seeds are of the tree-hugging variety, and thus decidedly nondestructive, Anon 11:16 is correct. Bonus points for making the entire post obvious twss bait.
DeleteAnon@11:16 displays the typical lack of imagination of someone who would score well in an IQ test.
DeleteThe simplest answer is to plant them all touching each other.
You only thought of that because I said "hugging."
Deleteif you planted them all touching each other, they would form a tetrahedral shape.
DeleteSuch a lack of imagination to not even see that.
Check your simplifying assumptions, Anon@4:32.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI apologize to all jews, women, and niggers for the above comment. It was very insensitive of me.
DeleteIt certainly was, but at least you did realize what an insult it is to bring us down to the level of white males with claims of "racial equality." Most people think they're doing us a favour.
DeleteIf you don't read my reviews I will kill your mother.
ReplyDeleteDouble post? I blame the captcha system.
ReplyDeleteIt says the captcha is incorrect, when it isn't. But the post goes through anyway. Oh, and it won't let me reply to anything. We're back to non-threaded replies. Can't the nebishes at Google fix anything?
ReplyDeleteThe jokes on you, my mothers already dead!
ReplyDeletewait what rob was a fanboy? that is adorable. we need details
ReplyDeletehttp://xkcdsucks.blogspot.co.uk/2009/10/comic-whatever-who-cares.html?showComment=1256599492164#c2724259057203455231
DeleteThere you go, weasel. An early Rob, still transitioning from fanboy to hateful monster.
Don't forget this, Rob's first ever comment on Xkcdsucks, preserved here for historical archive reasons.
DeleteDon't forget this, Rob's first ever comment on Xkcdsucks, preserved here for historical archive reasons.
DeleteThat kind of made me miss the days when we talked about xkcd. Actually I more miss the days between then and now, when commenters tried to force memes.
DeleteI don't think it's okay.
Robdall: Origins
DeleteWe most hate what we once loved.
DeleteI see Rob transitions from thinking that you can't write an article on a joke to a bunch of rants about how there is such a thing as objective humour.
Although I do wonder now whether Rob is still as much of an xkcd fanboy as ever, and all his contributions to xkcdsucks have been ironic, and he deliberately took over then let the site languish so that Randall would win.
Actually having typed that out with historical context, I am convinced.
everyone already knew i was secretly randall
Deletefuck you niggers
ReplyDeleteSince when was fucking niggers okay?
DeleteI don't think it's okay.
Someone explain to me why libertarians get so much hate on the internet. You'd think people would be all over the idea that the government stays out of our business. Do you actually like being told you can't smoke pot or drive without a seatbelt?
ReplyDeleteI'd much rather that a democratically elected power get up in my business than some fat leech who through ideological woowoo claims exclusive ownership of the road which would stop me being a prisoner in my own house.
Deletebecause libertarians are universally morons
DeleteThat's the same answer I always got from people who said they didn't like Bush when I asked why. Or why Fox News gets so much flack. Rather than give any rational reasons to hate someone of another party, just continually harp on them being stupid and laughable until everyone just accepts it as true from hearing it all the time.
DeleteExtraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, not refutation, idiot@1:26.
Deleteshow me a libertarian who is not a moron and i will retract my statement
DeleteHitler.
DeleteIt's idiot126@gmail.com. Get it right.
DeleteLibertarianism is simply freedom from Tyranny. If you think that wanting that makes a person a moron, I don't know how to help you.
Deletei think thinking that libertarianism is "simply freedom from tyranny" makes you a moron
Deletebut no, seriously, just submit a single libertarian who is not a moron for my consideration. you are obviously one but surely you can come up with at least one
DeleteStalin.
DeleteAdam Smith
DeleteThe 1% of the 1%
DeleteI've no idea what a Libertarian is, Libertine, however, is something with which I am very familiar. I am, of course, willing to offer myself as an example of a Libertarian just to see how Rob reacts.
DeleteYou know, 'cause as we all know, men are like Chemistry Sets, the fun is in seeing what sets them off.
If you just misread the word as 'librarians' then the internet becomes a lot better.
DeleteUntil recently, I had considered Rob's abject cuntery to be a result of familial compliance coupled with some minor cultural influences. Rob was, in essence, a predictive consequence of social determinism.
ReplyDeleteImagine my surprise, however, when it was revealed that Rob's affliction was hereditary rather than habitual? Rob and his ilk do indeed possess 'cuntish tendencies'. And in retrospect, it is evident that Rob and his brethren are quite obviously, 'born cunts'. Rob is quite simply a product of biological determinism.
How could I have possibly missed that?
Dictates of social engineering require that Rob's movements and whereabouts be monitored through a system of compulsory registration and travel permits.
Rob and his friends will become a useful and well trodden underclass in their own right. They'll have a social stratum to call their very own.
you forget that as a yankee i am already monitored round the clock due to an old hobby of mine, which was 'search for surveillance cameras in public places and snap pictures of them'
DeleteI figger that during your Government's recent 'shut-down', you were free to resume that curious divertissement?
DeleteTwo NYC teens with the dead baby in a back pack are apprehended while shoplifting at Victoria's Secret.
ReplyDeleteWhen queried about the baby in the backpack, the one teen responded,
"I didn't know what to do with it"
Nothing?
Ya gotta love the Yankee!
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/10/17/nypd-possible-fetus-found-in-teens-bag-inside-nyc-victorias-secret/
DeleteCurse big government! Disrespecting my individual liberty of carrying my dead offspring around as I please!
DeleteI'm just a grouch sitting on the couch.
DeleteThe world owes me, so fuck you.
Is this thread dead yet?
ReplyDeletePerhaps Mr. Levi, you flappy gee Brit-fuck, if you suggested a viable alternative, oh I don't know, maybe another "xkcdsucks' type blog, we could rise, Phoenix like, out of our own ashes?
DeleteHe would but he's too shy. Bless him.
Delete*caugh*