Sunday, July 10, 2011

Comic 922: xkcd sucks club

fight club

[Comic title: Fight Club; alt text: "I'm not saying it's all bad, but that movie has not aged as well as my teenage self in 2000 was confident it would."]

Apparently someone tried to talk about Fight Club with Randy today, and he was just like "ugh shut up that movie is so over" but then, THEN! later on he was like "oh man wouldn't it have been great if instead I was all like 'this conversation is over' just like Tyler Durden in the movie? And then I could be like 'yeah the first rule of talking to me about movies is do NOT talk to me about fight club!' and then they'd be like 'oh man sick burn' and we could talk about why Wikipedia's article on lactation is so woefully incomplete, it would be hot."

I want to make it perfectly clear here: Randy's idea of a joke is making a Fight Club reference to tell people he doesn't want them to talk about Fight Club--a movie which he has referenced before. I will give him points for "this conversation is over" as being at least natural-sounding, though he loses all those points and then some for the really hamfisted caption.

I admit I envy Randy's position here. When he has a case of l'esprit d'escalier (my favorite German phrase), he can just make a comic showcasing the sick burn he totally would have said if he weren't bound by the limits of linear time. And then his friends will all feel ashamed that they talked about Fight Club to Randy, who is so great and clever and comes up with all these great comics, and then maybe someone will finally love him!

143 comments:

  1. This comic makes the hilarious implication that there are people who want to talk to Randy - worse, people who actually try to continue the conversation rather than breathe a sigh of relief when he walks away.

    I can actually imagine him printing out a sheet of "rules when having conversations with me" to anyone he thinks he might have to interact with.

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  2. I like this comic, because the body language is such that I imagine that Randall is ice-skating away. Either that, or prancing.

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  3. Less obnoxious shitJuly 10, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I see this comic and I read it as, "I DON'T LIKE POKEMON ANY MORE THUS POKEMON IS NOT COOL AND YOU'RE NOT COOL FOR LIKING POKEMON." And there's so much wrong with that I can't be bothered deciding where to start.

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  4. Rob, your alt text made me laugh more than the last 300 or so xkcd's combines and it wasn't even all that good really.
    Just thought you should know.

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  5. https://plus.google.com/111588569124648292310/posts/gPcG4iYt7y3

    That fat fucking pig Randall Munroe apparently sweats giant droplets onto his phone at random. How fucking disgusting is this man? Apparently talking gets him so worked up that his pores open up and shoot Randall goo all over the place. I bet he was talking to a girl of some sort in public and had an embarrassing erection while doing so, the pathetic nerd. Actually he was probably talking to a new crush -- a female who doesn't have large bulbous tumors in the places where her breasts should be. This disgusting pig of a man, I wonder if he even feels sad about letting his girlfriend get cancer. Probably not. When his girlfriend finally dies it will be a relief to her -- not because of the excruciating pain of cancer but because of the excruciating mental torture of being engaged to Randall Munroe.

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  6. @7:06 quit projecting your life onto others.

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  7. https://plus.google.com/111588569124648292310/posts/SeBqgN9Zoiu

    Randall is such a hero, looking out for the ineffectual weaker sex.

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  8. Randall Hater (in case you couldn't tell)July 10, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    OK I think we all know what happened.

    Randy was masturbating furiously, with great vigor and gusto, with images of a sweaty, naked Brad Pitt rolling all over him.

    Just then, his mom walked down the stairs (down to the basement) and told Randall "Son, I love you, but... no, wait... on second thought, I don't love you, not at all. Anyway, move the fuck out of here by sundown tonight, you lonely, miserable, deformed, greasy little troll."

    And that caused our protagonist to think of Brad Pitt when writing his cartoon. He experienced Masturbatus Interruptus.

    Randall, you're a talentless fuck-face.

    Wanna know something sad about penis-head, I mean RANDALL? Almost every commenter here makes me laugh harder than this cockmeat sandwich.

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  9. Wow, Randy got a bit sloppy with the line over the "T" in the last line of dialogue.

    CAPTCHA: imingl. Randy wished he could mingl with people, but no one wants to hang out with a guy that's over a decade behind pop culturally.

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  10. "Good to know that I could be replaced by a machine that mindlessly clicks on the center of the screen" was the first Randall-secretion that has made me laugh in quite a long time.

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  11. I'm going to ignore the caption, and imagine that it's actually Randall on the left, trying to talk to Megan, who has lost her hair due to the chemo. And from his arms, looks like he's fishing for a hug too.

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  12. This blog's first pollJuly 11, 2011 at 12:48 AM

    If you woke up in a strange bed and found you were betrothed to Randall Munroe, would you obtain a radiation source to give yourself cancer?

    (A) Yes, there is no other method but death to get away from that creepy stalker;

    (B) No, Randall is reasonable and would take rejection like a man;

    (C) No, I think I love him.

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  13. This blog's first poleJuly 11, 2011 at 12:54 AM

    Tak długo, jak to jest rozpoznawalne słowiańskich jego treść jest zupełnie nieistotne, więc nie będę spędzać zbyt długo na wypełnienie go.

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  14. This blog's pole of order oneJuly 11, 2011 at 1:46 AM

    Hello. My name's Forrest, Forrest Gumpowicz. You want a chocolate?

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  15. Not sure if trolling, but...

    - "This conversation is over." sounds good because it's a line from fight club (goob job randy, I guess?).

    - "l'esprit d'escalier" is not german...

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  16. um

    "if instead I was all like 'this conversation is over' just like Tyler Durden in the movie?"

    so yeah i think rob probably knows that it's a line from fight club

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  17. Salade, Rob said it's German as a joke.

    10:52, that actually makes the comic 10x better to read.

    And as for his new one, what the feck is he even talking about? I'm not going to waste my time looking up strunk & white so I can understand his jokes. No, I will spend my time here writing this and hating him instead.

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  18. Well, anon 3:28, you're clearly an innocent soul untouched by the horrors of the Internet if you don't understand the subject matter of the latest xkcd strip.

    My main issue with it is that Randy can't decide if he wants to spell it "fan fiction" (in the comic) or "fanfiction" (in the alt text).

    Anyway, I'm hoping for another Robdall slashfic for this comic's review.

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  19. GOOMHR! I was totally just talking to a co-worker about Strunk & White the Friday before last.

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  20. Some guy from the mid '90sJuly 11, 2011 at 4:48 AM

    @Timofei: not above poster, but I long ago reached the point where I don't keep up with any of the latest Interweb references and just guess from the context what it is I am supposed to find funny.

    Hell, I haven't been in with the hep crowd since 1+ .//45 Cu5+0m4r'/ to speak 1!|<3 +H15.

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  21. That's a sorry excuse. I believe this whole "slash" thing was born out of some Star Trek Usenet newsgroup in the 90s.

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  22. @Timofei - I prefer fan/fiction.

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  23. My favorite German phrase is "oro de guave".

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  24. I've never met a nice South African.

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  25. Some guy from the mid '90sJuly 11, 2011 at 6:06 AM

    @Timofei: Never mind, it turns out that I didn't need an excuse. I assumed that Strunk/White was referring to some real porno pairing and that I found this joke even less funny than I should have because I didn't know about it.

    It turns out that he'd just identified a random pair of authors and made a joke about the difference between use of ampersand and slash. I guess Randall doesn't read much - especially not in the liberal arts languagey cloudy waffly domain - and perhaps this is the first time he has come across such a work written by more than one person.

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  26. Randy's not very good at drawing circles; The guy on the left's head doesn't join up too well with itself, and the guy on the right has a flat head. And there's not even a vague attempt at a neck to connect the 12-foot gap between their heads and bodies.

    What I want to know is, what happened right before we picked up this conversation? Randall obviously knows what Fight Club's about and he just doesn't want to talk about it, so why is the guy trying to explain what it's about to him? He probably altered the dialogue a little bit.

    I'm guessing it went something like this:

    Randal Munroe: yo dawg i herd you liek movies so someone set up us the fight club.

    Unenlightened One: What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?

    RM: main screen turn on!

    UO: Get out of my house.

    RM: is your wife lactating?

    UO: I'm calling the police.

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  27. Unenlightened One

    Also, I typo'd Randall's name, but he's not worth the effort to fix it.

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  28. ".....I admit I envy Randy's position here. When he has a case of l'esprit d'escalier (my favorite German phrase),...."

    Mine too!

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  29. The reasonable majorityJuly 11, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    ALTF, you histrionic Oriental you, couldn't you just stop posting? Every time I see something from you it's like being reminded of an old wound which has never quite healed. I'd block you only sometimes people respond to you with things other than "please stop posting".

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  30. ".....sometimes people respond to you with things other than "please stop posting"....."

    Aye. There's the rub!

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  31. ALTF you have the best fantrolls

    or worst

    I mean in and of themselves they're terrible but the fact that they exist and are so loud about it is hilarious.

    Carry on.

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  32. Sigh, ALTF, I'm just gonna continue posting this 'til you leave or shut up, at the very least

    96.2.142.152

    International Falls, Minnesota
    Population 6424

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  33. 96.2.80085.152

    International Falls, Minnesota
    lactation 6424
    Randall Munroe dox.
    get while hot.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Also, titty cancer.
    How d'ya like those, tumourous, tainted milk apples?

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  35. Anonymous @ 8:36 AM said:

    ".....ALTF you have the best fantrolls
    or worst
    I mean in and of themselves they're terrible but the fact that they exist and are so loud about it is hilarious.
    Carry on......"

    I seek out hatred - as per Rob's request.

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  36. ALTF no-one hates you. It's just that you're so mediocre and you refuse to improve. Your presence drives away other much funnier, more entertaining people.

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  37. Oderint Dum Metuant

    Many bloody well better hate me - I deserve it! The other much funnier and more entertaining folks? Well they just fear me! Except the ones with whom I am in email contact - we have a gay old time, we do!

    And it is not a matter of refusing to improve - I am at my remunerative limit! Improvement is not possible. You only get that for which you pay.

    Apologies.

    Innit?

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  38. oh 11:39. if only you had eyes to see the sprawling glory of ALTF--all that hatred focused on one person. it's the most glorious thing this blog has ever done.

    meanwhile, hey guys! remember when it was a HUGE DEAL that someone knew your IP address?

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  39. "....to see the sprawling glory of ALTF...."


    It would seem I need to close my drapes a little tighter. Here in lies the human reality of it; the scarified flesh, the spraying gobbets of clotted blood and skin, the splayed muscle, the spayed genitalia, devastated spirits and sickened stomachs. This characterises the very ritual of having carnal knowledge of me - a frisson of excitement indeed.

    Only BP has an IP and he was born in the '40s so he don't give a shite.

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  40. We should collect all of her delightful comments, and those of her stalkers, in The Book Of ALTF.

    It is the very least she deserves.

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  41. @Rob: if you celebrate ALTF because her mediocre, pompous writing annoys people, why do you not also celebrate Randall? Randall seems much better at eliciting a response than ALTF, not least from you.

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  42. because ALTF is an artist, and she uses the medium of hate to paint glorious portraits
    Randall, in contrast, just kind of shits on paper

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  43. Fuck me from behind with ironic credence made manifest.
    The dullards will be disheartened ya know.

    Dearest Anonymous @ 12:25 PM,
    I am much better looking than this Randall person.

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  44. ".....she uses the medium of hate to paint glorious portraits...."

    But the message is love!

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  45. Are you suggesting that ALTF is a troll who knows better? That he/she is actually able to communicate properly? If so, I suggest that Randall is an even better troll, knowing exactly how much bullshit he spews, eliciting hate from you and admiration/t-shirt sales from his fanbase. This would would elevate Randall's recent Google+ posts on lactation and gender to the artistic status of Mona Lisa's nipples.

    Nah. Randall and ALTF are both developmentally retarded dependents with access to Wikipedia and a thesaurus. To wish for one to continue producing is to wish for the other to continue producing.

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  46. I'm sorry you aren't bright enough to spot the genius behind ALTF. Well, no, not really. It's people like you that really brighten my day.

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  47. ".....I'm sorry you aren't bright enough to spot the genius behind ALTF. Well, no, not really. It's people like you that really brighten my day...."


    I am at two with Rob. Though he be a cunt.

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  48. albeit a broken-toothed one

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  49. I'd go for some porcelain veneers - ideal for that smooth Gentleman's finish we all enjoy.

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  50. Rob, you're talking like you and ALTF are Special IRL Friends or something. I don't think your standards are that low, so I'm going to hazard a guess that she's whined at you enough that you've had an e-mail chat or something and you've discovered that she's more timid and less obnoxious when she doesn't have an audience to spew to.

    Because she's a woman and keeps people responding to your blog, you're prepared to turn a combination of self-interest and a misjudged increase in respect into repulsive sycophancy.

    Innit?

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  51. I've never interacted with ALTF outside of this blog. But as a curator of hatred, I need to give credit to where it's due. I only wish I could generate the sheer intensity of loathing that ALTF does, and I appreciate the artistry involved.

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  52. ALTF would gain as much dislike by standing in a street at midnight every night and screaming in tongues until she lost her voice. That's all she's doing. Every class in every school has a child who behaves like that and who receives attention simply because everyone's frustrated that they lack the means to remove it.

    If that's art then Randall's work is masterpiece. Your standards are too low, Rob.

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  53. "....ALTF would gain as much dislike by standing in a street at midnight every night and screaming in tongues until she lost her voice....."

    Not true!
    I get offers to fellate!

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  54. All Hail Her Excellency Field Marshall Al Hadji Aquarians Amin Dada, Mistress of the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire on the Internet in General and XKCDSUCKS in Particular

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  55. my favorite part about this little exchange is how you keep saying 'if ALTF's beautifully crafted posts, that I am even now complaining about in an extremely (unintentionally) hilarious way, are masterworks of getting people to complain about things in an extremely hilarious way, then so is Randy.'

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  56. Oh, and the uncrowned Queen of Scotland.

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  57. Oh god.

    so funny.

    I love you all.

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  58. "....Amin Dada...."

    I miss Idi. He was so, how you say, Imperial?

    Oh and the Scots are cunts. And no mistake.

    It may not be wise to dishearten the dullards - the hated always need haters.

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  59. 'The Book of ALTF', Kitten?

    A work of fiction I suppose?

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  60. @Rob: So what you're saying is that it's a successful trolling when other people write about ALTF's mediocrity but it's 100% legit when you get worked up by Randall? Somewhere in your argument I see an opinion that ALTF has somehow achieved more creatively with her writing than Randall, which suggests that you have completely lost all perspective.

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  61. man, if you think I legitimately care about XKCD you're even dumber than I thought.

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  62. Dearest Anonymous @ 1:36 PM

    Would it be inconsiderate of me to ask you out on a date?

    International Falls has a great restaurant called 'The Chocolate Moose'

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  63. look, ALTF. I know you think your'e some kind of super genius for babbling a bunch of unreadable shit and somehow getting Rob's approval (probably because he's basically doing the same thing nowadays let's be honest) but the fact of the matter is you're not as smart as you think you are. You're just some tool with a lot of free time and no friends. We don't *care* about you, and we never will. So take your shit somewhere else.

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  64. You who maintain a blog about how much xkcd sucks claim not to "legitimately care about XKCD".

    OK. That's fair. It's easy to mock something simply because it's bad without caring about it.

    So why do you believe that ALTF's detractors legitimately care about ALTF enough to hate her? They're going to far less effort to demonstrate any thought or feeling toward her.

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  65. you care so little, in fact, that you've spent the past few hours arguing about her

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  66. "...We don't *care* about you, and we never will...."

    Yes you do.
    And you care a great deal I reckon.

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  67. only because we're tired of seeing her around. it's not so much caring about her as it is exasperation at putting up with her.

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  68. "....somehow getting Rob's approval...."

    Somehow?

    Fuck me!
    I'm out a King's ransom.
    The bastard's a greedy cunt.

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  69. Indeed. I can spare a minute or so every few minutes over one idle afternoon. I've several weeks' (months?) worth of discussing ALTF before I reach the level of not "legitimately caring" that you do about xkcd.

    I appreciate that you mock xkcd simply because it's bad. Why can't you accept the same thing wrt/ ALTF? Is it because you've misjudged the position of ALTF's detractors or because you care about xkcd more than you'd like to admit?

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  70. it's mostly because most slime molds have better self-awareness than you do.

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  71. ALTF's detractors?

    You mean speculums,, right?

    Oh DE-tractors. I read RE-tractors.

    Never mind.

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  72. You guys really have nothing better to do than this. I am laughing.

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  73. Fiction? Nay, a philisophical dialogue! I'll play Plato to your Socrates. They were both cunts too!

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  74. @anon 2:02 and apparently neither do you.

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  75. @kitten: come now, it would be a sophist dialogue at best.

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  76. See what I mean, Rob? There's just nothing funny in that post she made at 2:00. Like a Wikipedia editor, her only redeeming feature is tenacity: she has sufficient free time to keep the spout on 24/7. Whenever I visit this blog, there she is, each attempt at wit an application of the same playground humour templates.

    "HAHA YOU SAID COOK I THOUGHT YOU SAID COCK. THIS IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE ME TO FELLATE THEM. PAY ATTENTION TO ME I MENTIONED SEXXXXXX. ALSO MY BOYFRIEND, THROUGH WHOM I LIVE, DID SOMETHING INTERESTING TODAY. YOU ARE ALL DULLARDS AND CUNTS!"

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  77. and yet you still miss the point completely

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  78. ".......ALSO MY BOYFRIEND, THROUGH WHOM I LIVE....."

    Ain't that the truth.
    Though he is not my boyfriend - I'm available!

    An Isocelean banter at best. Being that I am Isosexual.

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  79. You have high standards?

    IT'S A PUN ISO IS THE NGO THAT MANAGES INTERNATIONAL STANDARDS PLEASE GOD SOMEBODY BE MY FRIEND

    ReplyDelete
  80. maybe i should undercut myself less

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  81. Maybe so Ann, but I mean 'Iso' as a suffix. Like 'hetero' or 'Metro' or 'a'.

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  82. When Randall badly presents an incorrect argument, those who criticise it are often accused of missing the point entirely.

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  83. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_analogy might be helpful for you here, buddy

    ReplyDelete
  84. Anonymous @ 2:09 PM said:

    "....See what I mean, Rob? There's just nothing funny in that post she made at 2:00....."

    It was not meant to be funny - or clever - or witty. It was meant to irritate.
    Did it?

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  85. I didn't think of you as the type to try argument by strawman link to Wikipedia article, Rob. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're as bored with ALTF as the rest of us but don't want to lose face by admitting it now.

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  86. Yins is havin' a larf at our expense - ain't cha Anonymous?
    Perhaps I have misjudged you.

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  87. well, you keep assuming that ALTF and Randy are analogous even though they, uh. aren't? at all? that's called a false analogy!

    calling your false analogy a false analogy isn't a strawman, though. maybe you should learn what words mean before you use them?

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  88. Nah, on that occasion I was correctly accusing you of Randallising your argument.

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  89. wait, you mean you think i edited the wikipedia article on false analogy?

    really? what part of it seems suspicious to you?

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  90. (incidentally if you'd check the history page you'd note that it hasn't been touched since April)

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  91. I'm bored now. Someone else take over.

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  92. false analogies are like hitler, they kill loads of jews

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  93. (Ilyam, Ilyum! Maeromor Mournomates !) meeting of the crucian rose of Little on a nude state, hailfellow with Inkermann the arc of H. C. Earwicker, that farmfrow's foul flair for ourselves, tare it be separated don't they ad huck (there being mistakenly ambushed by the axiomatic orerotundity of his sire!; piles big treeblock way he gave him back of the charmful waterloose country over rallthesameagain. Well done, Drumcollakill! Kitty Tyrrel is but was struck Buckley who is to os across

    couldn't get combitsch, profusional drinklords to believe I quizzed you in the blowne and the goat's milk, sir, her beak into peese! Han var. Disliken as not, When a famous padre's turridur's capecast, meet there is company of Constitutionhill though all's much more than play upon the short pants of Ramasbatham. A hoodenwinkle gave him Rockyfellow; shows a normal Kettlelicker) this world of having an outer layer of the same man of streets were drawn first instant he smokes at

    pairs passing out - fork, of the world was in those superciliouslooking crisscrossed Greek ees awkwardlike perched there to the Guinnghis Khan. And she saved! Ah ho! And Jarl van Houtens and dublnotch on the new reading V.P.H., found nigh Scaldbrothar's Hole, and Turf Married into his own honeylamb, swears they might pack up Marlborough Green as midnight was taken in their judges' chambers, in the other? Or that there naket, made in Gehinnon, to dinner and rum smelt his

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  94. Rob I have a deep-rooted fear that when Xkcd finally ends there will be a great mourning on the Web for a day or two while people say stupid shit like, "It was a hell of a comic while it lasted," or, "R.I.P. Xkcd, 2005-2011," God willing on that last part.

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  95. this blog is all about preparation for that day. we are cultivating only the very finest hatred, so that when that day comes, we can spread throughout the internets and share the good word: 'fucking finally.'

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  96. that's two words

    i am leaving and never coming back

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  97. I'm sure saying "l'esprit d'escalier" is German is a joke, but I must confess I don't get it.

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  98. UndercoverCuddlefishJuly 11, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    who the fuck cares about any of this

    if you honestly give a shit about a single thing said on this terrible blog please do the world a favor and castrate yourself

    ReplyDelete
  99. What if I castrate everyone I know? It'll have the same effect, but I'll get to do more castrations.

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  100. Also, you guys are all idiots if you don't appreciate ALTF. Debonair and extraordinary beauty, I have seen no photo, I am not qualified to judge.

    But you guys visit a hate blog, pretty sure you deserve being annoyed if you take yourselves too seriously.

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  101. ALTF IS RUINING MY HATE BLOG EXPERIENCE
    HOW CAN I PROPERLY HATE SOMEONE IF THERE IS ANOTHER COMMENTER BEING FLIPPANT AND USING WORDS

    that's a mockery I just did. Of the lonely little men, threatened by a woman, who like all women deserves all our respect and love and suckling.

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  102. If you don't like ALTF, you're a sexist

    If you don't like Rob, you're a fattist

    If you are Rob, you are fattest

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  103. Definitely not k, someone else entirelyJuly 11, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    HOW TO BE SUBMIT POSTS PLEASE

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  104. ALT-F, what are you wearing. It's research for the fanfic I'm writing.

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  105. Oh wait, that sentence was supposed to have a question mark.

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  106. l'esprit d'escalier is not German, and I can't believe that only one other person had the decency to respond negatively to your trolling.
    If we don't feed the trolls they'll all starve, and I'm pretty sure they are on the internet food chain somewhere. Their location is probably similar to that of mold on the physical food chain, or so I would assume. They both feed on rot and decay of some sort.

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  107. but why would you want to kill the trolls. Trolls are beautiful

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  108. I'm Anonymous, and I'm a MANJuly 11, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    ALTF is pretty cool and attractive.

    I approve.

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  109. Me too, there's just something about viet cong sleeper cells in minnesota that's so hot!

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  110. "I am much better looking than this Randall person."

    Way to set the bar really high there.

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  111. FACT: Ranall's roommate HATES HIM!!

    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/07/11/seven-words-rice

    !!!!

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  112. Since nobody's mentioned this yet:
    http://scorpiosluvtofuck.blogspot.com/2008/02/heaven-and-hell.html

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  113. Legionnaire, you are ALTF, aren't you?

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  114. Hi.
    It's kind of sad you have an entire blog devoted to hating and complaining about another person's work.
    Have a nice life.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Wow. A whole entire blog! That must take so much money and effort to keep afloat.

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  116. This entire comment is devoted to hating and complaining about Anon 7:05.

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  117. It's funny how Rob considers ALTF some sort of masterwork. Hey, I've got a nephew who constantly barges in and interrupts with a load of inane bullshit while the adults are trying to speak! That kid's a real prodigy!

    What I'm saying is, Rob's pretty dumb. That was made clear a long time before he ever revealed this admiration for tenacious spamming, so I guess nobody's surprised. Is he dumber than the people who encourage ALTF by responding to all that crap? I don't know. Maybe!

    Anyway, can't stick around. I have to go to a populated spa and take a shit in the water in an effort to earn Rob's respect.

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  118. The remarkable thing is that no one has stopped and asked themselves 'why?' in all of this. As is traditional with humans and their squishy human brains they just assume they know what's going on--and, as is traditional with humans and their squishy human brains, they have no idea what is going on inside their aforementioned squishy brains--and yet they think they understand!

    The lack of introspection is a common thing, of course, but it never ceases to amaze me. A little moment of introspection is all it takes to understand, and yet the legions of cuddlefish (and, indeed, humanity) refuse to take that moment, so convinced are they that their squishy human brain already knows everything it needs to.

    Not a day goes by I don't offer my thanks for this pervasive form of human stupidity, for it has provided me with endless entertainment over the years, and will continue to do so for many more. So keep on keeping on, cuddlefish! Your tragic lack of self awareness is everyone's gain here, and I want to personally thank each and every one of you for being so phenomenally stupid.

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  119. Rob, your trolls are normally less wordy than that. Verbosity connotes desperation. But they can't all be gems.

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  120. I'm sad that I accidentally posted in an old topic. I would certainly have liked to have more people see such a response.

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  121. you can always just go be stupid somewhere else, i'm always happy to call people stupid

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  122. Maybe, but it won't always take the form of a dramatized "I'm not stupid, you're stupid! If you weren't so stupid you'd know I wasn't stupid!"

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  123. You're so good at missing the point. Do you practice?

    It's true though--if people were capable of introspection, and if people paid attention to things, they wouldn't be so completely and utterly prone to missing the point. Ironically, they're so convinced they haven't missed the point that they're unwilling to go back and consider what that point might be.

    This is pretty generally the course of most of these little arguments on this blog. I make some claim, some cuddlefish, misunderstanding the point, calls me a moron. Trolls being what they are, I see how long I can engage them without actually saying anything of substance. Then I grow tired of the game and, because human stupidity is a thing upon which one can rely, explain it, because there's usually a few more days worth of amusement to be had from the explanation.

    It matters little if I explain that ALTF has a remarkable way of violating conversational maxims in such a way that the conversation continues despite every rule of conversation being broken, with such precision that blaming it on whatever the latest theory is--I think it's something like being a "mediocre," "pseudo-intellectual," and "having a thesaurus" or some shit?--is nothing short of absurd. That ALTF is a student of language who has specialized in being annoying is obvious to anyone who pays attention. But the cuddlefish hordes are not interested in paying attention, so I'd be surprised if they believe me even when I point it out.

    Here is a hint for you: if you ever find yourself reading through a conversation and thinking 'yeah I know exactly what is going on here' you might want to reevaluate.

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  124. @Rob: it's not trolling if you have to type an essay for every one line retort.

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  125. you say that like it's hard or unpleasant to write more than a few sentences strung together

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  126. I realize this is hard to imagine for you, but some people like writing. Just because you find the presence of more than two or three sentences in the same place to be a terrifying experience doesn't mean everyone does.

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  127. So if my response to reading this comment thread is "I'm being relentlessly trolled", does that make me slightly less stupid or slightly more stupid than the average whiner?

    Slightly more stupid for staying? In response to that claim, I'd have to say that there's no accounting for taste. This was a good comment thread.

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  128. I wish I could accept Rob's compliment, but the deception would be too transparent when he went on to demonstrate that I'm not really very good at missing the point at all. Rob has always been the best at showing how dumb he is, however, and it was presumptuous of me to try and engage in his field of expertise.

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  129. I admit I envy Randy's position here. When he has a case of l'esprit d'escalier (my favorite German phrase),

    Ha ha! This is funny because the phrase is actually German, but Rob said it was French -- which is ironic, and FUNNY, as opposed to horrid beastly Randall, who would never think of something so witty.

    he can just make a comic showcasing the sick burn he totally would have said if he weren't bound by the limits of linear time. And then his friends will all feel ashamed that they talked about Fight Club to Randy, who is so great and clever and comes up with all these great comics, and then maybe someone will finally love him!

    Ooookay projecting just a tad there Robbie

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