"[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic."
Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.
I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.
Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.
at least randall decided to distinguish the two stick figures this time. still a horrible comic
ReplyDeleteThis isn't really about the strip, but does anyone else who reads the forum discussions really get annoyed by "HI JOEE" and "HI GLASNT"? I don't know why, but that always just irks me to no end.
ReplyDeleteHI CARLL
Hope Carl has some hate for this one. Still, though, it's not nearly as smug as 546...
ReplyDeleteI would just like to note that the title of this post is very appropriate, considering the latest comic.
ReplyDeleteThis one sucked beyond belief. The new one, 744, was possibly even worse.
ReplyDeleteOh, those nerds. They deserve to get laid because they are so familiar with the female anatomy and everything! Why do women always go for bad boys who don't even know the difference between the labia majora and the perineum?!
ReplyDeleteI actually got a chuckle out of 744, because I watch LP's and speedruns all the time and couldn't help it.
ReplyDeleteBut the alt-text was just miserable. Why does Randall always have to pile on painfully drawn-out blather when the setup for a nice clean joke about the speedrun being "tool-assisted" is RIGHT THERE.
"I actually got a chuckle out of 744, because I watch LP's and speedruns all the time and couldn't help it."
ReplyDeleteYeah this happened to me too.
744 was hilarious, and I can't wait to watch all the haters QQ about it.
ReplyDeleteI read this and I was thinking "Oh, hey, a set-up for a tool-assisted speedrun pun". Not in the alt-text? They've only been around since 2003, Randall.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with a speedrun of sex, unless Randall thinks that you can win without both partners having an orgasm. That might explain a lot, really.
I really liked 744. A simple joke that's reasonably well executed (Could've done without the "ouch", but whatever).
ReplyDeleteThe alt-text... not so much. But I don't think it's fair to judge a comic on its alt text.
Wouldn't that title be more appropriate for 744?
ReplyDeletethe concept is amusing (for me, anyway) but the execution is lacking
ReplyDeleteSorry, what's a tool-assisted speedrun?
ReplyDeleteI only watch Let's Plays, if anything, so I'm not familiar with speedrun terminology, and I can't think of any tools you could use in such a situation.
http://tasvideos.org Slowed down and with the use of save states, in order to ~achieve optimal play~
ReplyDelete744 made me laugh. Finally, the punchline is in the right place. The alt-text is worth it for the terrible "spawn point" pun.
ReplyDeleteThough that's an awful definition of how to "win" sex. No wonder nerds are so terrible in bed.
This comic has two problems: it was done by Randall, therefore carries with it the disgusting, vomit-inducing legacy of sexkcd; and the dialogue was Randall-level terrible, which makes the joke even fouler. Judging by the circumstances, I guess the second guy would start off saying "oh, it was terrible, absolutely terrible. I mean, I wanted to be prepared...". There's no need to rush things so much just to make the comic work in three panels! The guy just goes off in that rant as if it was the most natural thing in the world... though, in xkcdland, I guess looking at a "walkthrough for sex" is not very unnatural at all.
ReplyDeleteThere's definitely a joke in #744, but I've got a reflexive squick when it comes to sexckd and the dialogue doesn't do it justice. The title text would probably have been a better way to go with the comic, even if that would have required a) actual artwork and b) a violent ramping in the nsfw quotient.
ReplyDelete#743 is just a blatant paid advert for the FSF. Guaranteed that Richard Stallman considers it to be Shakespearean.
Chris, did you just suggest that a comic needs to be MORE like 631?
ReplyDelete744 is yet another Sexkcd - lets take some geek reference and make a joke out of it.
ReplyDeleteIt's not poorly done, but it's creepy.
743 makes a great goatkcd.
Wow. Just checked in here for the first time in months. This site is STILL GOING? Get a life, you assholes!
ReplyDeleteIt's still going because XKCD still sucks. That's logic.
ReplyDeleteOh fuck no! I never know how to respond to haters properly. Am I supposed to submit details of the life which I do, in fact, possess? Point out the absurdity of a life spent in telling others to get lives? Or simply spurn the comment with a GTFO? Screw getting a life, I need to get a robust decision-making schema.
ReplyDeleteAnyway the new comic has a pregnant-pause second panel. Weren't we talking about that a few comics ago? Something something pacing something flow. Except it kinda sucks the wind out of the whole thing. I think it'd work better with just the two panels, and maybe leave out the first guy's reaction to make it more deadpan instead of "THAT'S THE JOKE."
"xkcd is aawweeesoommmeee!" Alas, this deception lacked the guile to convince even himself... Maybe... Just maybe... NO. NO.
ReplyDelete"Wow. Just checked in here for the first time in months. This site is STILL GOING? Get a life, you assholes!" He wailed as his bloated, cheesit stained fingers flailed futilely in the air. That voice... Rage and sloth personified. His pathetic screams loud enough to wake his dear mother, who had previously been sleeping soundly. Mascara diluted tears forming vertical rivers of despair...
I can't help but think that comic would have been funnier with the beat panel last followed by another panel saying "THAT'S THE JOKE." It would at least elicit a snort, which is more than 744 did.
ReplyDeleteThat's the worst part. 744 doesn't even inspired hatred. It doesn't inspire vitriol. It doesn't inspire a rant about how smug and superior Randy's acting. It's just boring and dull.
The problem with the newest one is the fairly obvious genesis of it:
ReplyDeleteRandall sees a speedrun of something. Randall asks himself what it might be funny to follow a speedrun for in real life. Randall, lacking all maturity or ounce of cleverness, immediately shouts "SEX"!
Woah, people actually liked the speedrun joke? I thought it was nerd pandering and lacking in actual cleverness or humour. It's the kind of simple joke you come up with while hanging out with friends and that isn't funny to people who weren't there at the time, except that in this case Randall decided to share it with the world.
ReplyDeleteThose people who found it funny because they're speedrun junkies, I guess you're the real target audience. If you were xkcd forumites this would be the point where you start saying GOOMH
@Jen I think people liked the joke because, while it has its share of pandering, its a self sustained joke which most people will get...it also has enough pandering that you feel fine about the joke. It may have been cheesy, but it lacks many of the things that makes XKCD bad.
ReplyDelete774 was a good comic.
ReplyDeleteYou guys need to stop going "why is this terrible" and instead go "is this terrible, if so, why?"
744 was great. I actually laughed out loud which I haven't done in forever while reading xkcd.
ReplyDeleteSimilar to xkcd, why don't you just quit rolling out the lame blog posts? It is getting quite old and the shine is worn off. The same insults "art sucks, getting old, and someone already did it."
ReplyDeleteBefore posts were scrolling-down long, now they are just a few sloppy paragraphs. I also love how one anon said "744 is even more horrible" and another said "744 was great."
http://goatkcd.com/505/ LOL
ReplyDeleteI felt like doing an edit of this; it's pretty much the reaction I'd *expect* from someone who's been following xkcd for some time now:
ReplyDeletehttp://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx220/sir_mustapha/walkthrough.png
This comic is like, if you haven't had sex, it's funny.
ReplyDeleteIf you have, you just feel awkward about the assumption "longer sex = better sex" and Randall spreading that to his army of sexless nerds =/
Yeah if you've ever had sex, you'd know, premature ejaculation isn't a problem, why, it's, it's GLORIOUS.
ReplyDeleteOh ScottMcTony... you probably believe it in the movies and songs where they spend all night mashing their genitals together too.
ReplyDelete"sex walkthough video." Sex... Walkthough... Video. It is called PORN. Who in their right mind would ever say that. Before I actually thought about the comic, it made me chuckle. Afterwards it just annoys me. No one would ever in the history of the world say this. It compleatly breaks the suspension of belief.
ReplyDeleteNo, sex walkthrough video is porn with explanations of what is going on. Which could actually be hilarious unlike the comic itself.
ReplyDeleteAnon 7:07; No I just prefer it to go longer than 34 seconds.
ReplyDeleteAlso, may I mention that 744's title text made me want to vomit?
ReplyDelete"there are more inside them"
o_O JEGUS FUCK WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Crabs? Lice? Centipedes? Penises?
The labia majora and labia minora.
ReplyDeleteoh i see
ReplyDelete