Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Comic 631: the fuck?

[Jay could not wait for my rant, so he wrote his own. that is what is happening here.]

Hey, does the new comic seem weird to any of you? I can't quite put my finger on it.

Is it the font? No, that's not it...

The panels are gray? Still no...

Think one of you could help me out here?


Oh right, it's the fucking breasts and vagina. OK then.

Obviously the breasts are in panel one. I can tell from the comments that I'm not the only one perturbed by them. I am male and straight and generally OK with breasts, but I was not expecting them, and honestly, I don't enjoy having them staring at me over my morning coffee. And they're such detailed breasts, like - almost like they don't belong to a stick figure at all...

In panel two we have the vagina! Thanks Randall, by the way, for labeling it so we know what it is. We have seen vaginas in xkcd before, actually, but this one is larger and harder to ignore. I guess we do have that speech bubble covering it, but you know what, it still makes me uncomfortable.

Look, I feel - I feel like for some reason I have to justify my dislike for this comic, like it makes me some fucking prude who thinks ugh vaginas too indecent to show on the internet. I'm not. There's nothing wrong with nudity. If I'd seen this in Sexy Losers I wouldn't bat an eye. That's not my problem here. My problem is that this comic is drawn by Randall fucking Munroe, the guy who once drew this, and until recently this comic would have been very out of character for him. It's shocking because it's xkcd.

I guess I'm supposed to like, summarize this for you or something, but fuck it. You can see what's going on. And it's weird. It's really weird, and fuck everyone who says it isn't. It's weird that when, for the first time in like 300 comics, Randall draws a non-stick figure, it's basically porn. It's weird that he spends enough time looking at nude photos on wikipedia to notice trends (I stole that one from the forums.) And is it just me or is the gray color he chose completely hideous? Like the breasts are dead. Dead breasts.

Aside from the obvious (the breasts and vagina - just making sure you hadn't forgotten them since I mentioned them one sentence ago), this comic sucks. It's not funny. It's not. This cheese is not burning me. It's not funny because it doesn't make sense. WHY THE FUCK are they doing this in a TGI Friday's? Are there customers there? Why not do it in their home? The whole situation is contrived. And speech doesn't show up in photos.

Ugh, what else.

My eyes keep returning to those fucking breasts.

Not sure why they bother me more than the vagina.

Oh yeah, there's Megan! Hello Megan! Again! I have already registered my thoughts on this subject, that Randall is fucking with us, because honestly c'mon. I know he avoids criticism but he must be aware of the jokes, right? I've seen them other places besides here. Rape Guy is going to have a field day with this over at xkcdcouldbebetter. Speaking of which, WAYS THIS COMIC COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER:

* He could have not drawn it.
* He could have not uploaded it.
* He could have drawn the first two panels as stick figures. It would have been funny because stick figures do not have genitals.
* He could have made the guy's dialogue less awkward in the last panel. He wouldn't say the restaurant's name, he'd say "this is a family establishment." And then Randall could have drawn a TGI Friday's sign. Picture it in your head - don't you think this version would have been funnier? And more natural?

Whatever. I don't know what the fuck went through Randall's head. "Gosh, do I ever have a hankering to draw some external female genitalia! No one will mind! It's not like they'll be viewing this at work or anything!"

You're losing it, Randall.

And to the people on the forums who were like, "you shouldn't have been slacking off at work anyway!" - you can piss off. That's a petty argument and you know it. Most offices are OK with someone taking a short break to browse the internet to look at appropriate sites. For years xkcd has been appropriate. Today it is not. It's not unreasonable that some people would be pissed about that.

Yeah, that's pretty much all I got. Sorry for stealing your thunder, Carl. I know this isn't exactly angriest rants material, but this comic is so fucked up I'm sure there are still lots of angry things for you to say.


Jay out.


  1. It's weird that when, for the first time in like 300 comics, Randall draws a non-stick figure, it's basically porn.

    This exactly. GET OUT OF MY HEAD JAY!!!!

  2. when i first saw this post i was like, AW CRAP someone figured out my password! but then i saw it was you. I'm still going to like, move it around a little so my post is on top and so that people know you wrote this one (people never seem to notice when someone else writes a post...)

  3. I feel as though this comic deserves a post from the whole XKCD sucks team. Rob, Thomas, hell, even William Monty Hughes can get in on the action.

    Where is Rob, anyway?

  4. I completely agree, but I think he's still on that farm.

    Guys, it'll be fun!

  5. *Sigh*

    If only to provide a contrary and unbiased opinion.

    -William Monty Hughes
    IQ 224
    "Cogito Ergo Sum"

  6. this may very well be the worst xkcd ever made

  7. Thank you, Jay. I think you summarised it all quite nicely.

  8. Someone ought to go on TV Tropes and file this under "Moral Event Horizon".

  9. So have any Wikipedia edit wars broken out over this?

    "Female genitalia in popular culture"
    "Breasts in popular culture"
    "T.G.I. Friday's in popular culture"

  10. "Complete fucking BULLSHIT in popular culture"

  11. rob is here. rob will write a post because THE MASSES (kirk) DEMAND IT. but later.

  12. yaaay, someone noticed my forum post. i feel so special now. :D

  13. Dudes can't tell the difference between anatomical diagrams and porn?

  14. +1 to drawing the anatomy as stick figures

  15. Dudes can't tell the difference between anatomical diagrams and porn?

    It's well known that the line between "nudity as art" and "nudity as porn" is that, in art, the nude models have some body hair. In porn, they're mostly-shaven.

    And THAT model is clearly all-the-way shaven. Brazilian waxed, even.

  16. Though I admit it would've been better as all stick figures.

  17. BTW, I'm the one who said "Dudes can't tell the difference between anatomical diagrams and porn?".

  18. It's not the breasts. It's not the vagina. It's not the forced dialogue. What it is, is


    it's that the joke is that the quality of naked photos on Wikipedia are such that they could be taken at T.G.I. Fridays.

    1) Why would you take naked photos at T.G.I. Fridays ever?
    2) Why would you then post them online after having been caught?
    3) Did he specifically choose T.G.I. Fridays over other establishments? Did he have a plan to go into public SPECIFICALLY to take photos of Megan naked?
    4) Did she leave her clothes on the table or did she just go into public completely nude?
    5) Is she on the table as he's taking the photo completely nude? No one ever asked "hey, this girl is taking her clothes off, that's completely rude or whatever old people say" at a T.G.I. Fridays?

    This isn't a free speech issue. It's an insightful new look into Randall's mind.

  19. do you guys think that maybe he hates tgi fridays or something, like that is where he went on his first date with megan, and now he is going to ruin their name amongst the nerd-dom of the Internet by associating them with this weird shit

  20. I still think the joke would've made more sense if it was being filmed in some seedy stickman porn-studio or something. The barely-sober, unshaven cameraman (just give him a little bottle and a spotty face Randall, you can do it) muttering creepy things like "oh yeah baby" and "show me what daddy likes", before toddling off to his little stick-pc and uploading the photos to Wikipedia as anatomical references.
    Oh no wait I forgot this isn't a comic, it's "hey guys look at this thing I doodled in math class with minimum effort hurr". Silly me!

    He never even mentions Wikipedia in the goddamn comic. When your alt-text is your punchline then you've failed incredibly hard at writing comics.

  21. What troubles me most is the anus.

    I mean it's right there.

    It's right fucking there.


  23. Oh, man, I can't wait to hear Willy's opinion of this comic. WILLY YOU ARE AWESOME

  24. I find it very odd as to why barely anyone has mentioned how this is far and away the creepiest mention of Megan ever, ever.

  25. Yeah, this was disturbing.

  26. Wow, it's an actually hillarious comic this time and now you're gay? It's for fun, it's not disturbing! What are you? 13? A girl? Maybe you don't even know an actual boob, that must be it. The joke, by the way, was pretty good.

  27. Being shocked to find genitalia in a stick-figure comic, coupled with a shitty punchline and a horrendously disturbing mention of the chick author-guy is stalking does not "hillarious(sic)" make.

  28. And the first "I bet you have never even seen a boob" gets made! Who had 9:12 pm? Anyone?

    I think you get extra if you called "simultaneously homophobic, ageist, and sexist." That's a pretty sweet triple-whammy right there.

  29. Also: if the joke is hilarious or pretty good, kindly tell me WHAT THE HELL IS IT?

  30. Even I, Rape Guy (Snoogkraktor) was put off by this B.S.

    There was nothing remotely funny in this one.

  31. Nevrmore, I prefer to think of it as merely the most disturbing mention of Megan so far.

  32. Rob, it's not even that he called "You've never seen a boob", he said "Maybe you don't even know an actual boob". Which, I have to admit, is true. I've seen and handled my fair share of them, but not once did I actually sit down to get to know any of them. I never tried to find out what the boob did for a living, or what its hobbies are, or how it imagines a perfect vacation. Their owners, sure, but not the mammaries themselves. Unfortunately, Anon 9:12 got me there.

  33. My initial reaction to this comic was slack-jaw confusion... Oh, and I've pretty much stayed there. Seriously?!?!

    Okay, Randall. We get it. You're nerdy AND you like sex. That's cool. Guess what! Lots of nerdy guys LOVE sex. Most people in general do. This is a little much...

    Also, I gotta know, do you have any female friends?


    u rite a gud post tho

  35. LolaListerine: not anymore...

  36. My favorite part of this rant:

    And to the people on the forums who were like, "you shouldn't have been slacking off at work anyway!" - you can piss off. That's a petty argument and you know it. Most offices are OK with someone taking a short break to browse the internet to look at appropriate sites. For years xkcd has been appropriate. Today it is not. It's not unreasonable that some people would be pissed about that.

    Even with the "science fair project" comic where there was a tiny vjj, it was at least small and unlikely that anyone passing by would notice it. With this, it's a HUGE GIANT BOOB and HUGE CROTCH SHOT filling up almost your entire screen. People are going to notice.

    And anyone who doesn't take a couple minutes out of their day to clear their mind must either be a robot, brain dead, or on opium. Even if you don't have Internet access I'm pretty sure you've stopped for 15 minutes to chat with a coworker, stare vacantly out the window, grab a snack, anything to give your brain a rest from work. I don't know ANYBODY who can focus constantly, uninterrupted, on their job for 8 continuous hours.

  37. The fact that you said "vjj" reminds me of that hilarious episode abot how Amanda wanted Vijay to add another "jay" to his name.

  38. yeah and then he STOPPED and it wasn't funny anymore


    way to RUIN everyone's fun, vijay

  39. Aloria, I said pretty much the same thing at the xkcd forums, but they will defend any comic to the bitter end. Most defenders of the post say something like "it's just a boob, what, we can't say boob anymore?". To which I would point out, that a boob may have been OK, but the HUGE CROTCH SHOT is going wayyyy too far.

    I posted a reply, along with a 'made better' strip on their forums, but since I'm nice I'll share :D

    Anyone like mine better?