Thursday, January 27, 2011
[Comic title: Consecutive Vowels; alt text: But the windows! What if there's a voyuer (sic) watchi--wait, now I'm turned on too.]
Megan has another boyfriend. This has filled Randall with untold jealousy, and Randy will deal with it the only way he knows how: by writing comics in which Megan deeply desires to fuck him, but is also insane. She must be insane--what other reason could she have for loving a man who is not Randall Munroe?
"But my alt texts, Megan! Read them, and see how clinical, how stilted my love for you could be! MEGAAAAAN!"
This comic means a great deal to Randall. You can tell, because it has a chart in it, and also because it contains a swear in large and italic prints. But the most important way to tell is this: in the comic, Megan is rendered helpless before Randall's use of a word with five consecutive vowels in it. Yes, she is the one demanding that Randall employ his "Black Hat Guy" to "Install BSD" in her "ball pit," but he has all the power. The power of the word queueing.
In this fantasy Randy even pretends to be shocked as she flings herself at him. "Oh, no, we mustn't," he says. "No, don't, stop," he says.
"What's that? Don't stop?" she replies.
The chart is there, but meaningless, as Megan acknowledges in the first panel. This comic contains only two characters: Randy, and the unbridled lust-machine that is Megan.
Lesser men may read this most erotic of porns and assume that Randall forgot to put in an actual joke, or that he is too lazy to even bother with some basic spell-check on the word "voyeur," but they miss the point entirely. This is not a comic, but the fevered, inspired passions of a brilliant artist. It needs no joke--the burning passion of the characters, ripped directly from the tormented mind of the author, stands on its own as the greatest work of art since that one lady just sat there stared at a bunch of people in MoMA.