Comic 846: $uck$

[Satanic carrion fowl "ravenzomg" has emailed me this, which is apparently a review or something of the latest comic. May god forgive me. -Ed.]

Now, we all know Randa££'s ability to tell a topical joke on time is questionable at the best of times. And dealing with Pop Culture, which by its very function fluctuates to fit the needs of the sad mass of teens who are "rebelling" "against" their "restrictive" "parents". Please note that there is a clear inverse trend between What is Cool [the real cool, not the Nerd concept of "Cool-Uncool"], and What Geeks like [Which is Uncool, or "Uncool-Cool"].

Randa££, champion of Geekdom and all that is Uncool [which is actually the new Cool FYI], hates everything that is Cool [The old Cool, not the new one]. Modern dance music? Totally Uncool [which is to say that it is actually Cool]! So Randa££ has championed their cause [which is to say "The mouthbreathers' cause"] by creating a comic that his Cultists can now print off [or order prints from the store! Why not buy twenty?] to show everyone who ever, like, mentions that awful music and tell them with a high squeaky voice, "Actually, that song is terrible advice as evidenced by my parchment in yonder hand!"

...And then the preppy girl will proceed to reply to their friend [they've since forgotten that the Mouthbreather ever existed], "Like, oh my god, Natalie, do you remember Tik Tok? That sooooo brings me back to, like, that summer! You know?" And they'll proceed to sing [out of tune] Tik Tok, recycling the chorus when they forget where the verses went.

And those poor geeks will be confused -- remember? Why isn't this topical, and why aren't they being heralded as the Messenger of Truth?

Brief Pop History Lesson!

[[Most of the following links [Except for the introductory "Ke$ha" link] go to Youtube music videos, click at your discression!]]

Aug 07, 2009 ---- Ke$ha, previously a fringe artist, releases her soon-to-be-summer-hit "Tik Tok!"

Feb 19, 2010 ---- "Blah Blah" is released as her second single, a collaboarion with questionably popular "3Oh!3" [[Not a joke, that is actually them.]]

May 21, 2010 ---- Your Love Is My Drug

Jul 13, 2010 ---- "Take It Off", the fourth and last single from her "Animal" album

Oct 22, 2010 ---- "We R Who We R", her fifth single and the first from her new album, "Cannibal"

For those of you who are completely in the dark, in Randa££'s "comic", the comment is a reference to Ke$ha's break-out hit which is still probably her most well-known, because despite having an ounce of potential for something half-decent [in material, if not quality] to her, Ke$ha prefers to release singles which show off that which her audience will appreciate most: Clubbing, aimless lust, and getting wasted. So, naturally, "Tik Tok" is by far the most popular of her songs as it features all of the above, and then some.

And I quote,

"Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy

Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city!

Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack

'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back"

That's enough of that, I think.

Let's go ahead and compare.

Aug 07, 2009 --> Ke$ha glorifies being a drain on society with her light and promiscuous syth-pop sound.

Jan 12, 2011 --> Randa££ sets right the world by telling his followers to spread the word: Toothpaste has been shown to prevent plaque! Ke$ha's oral hygiene is at risk [Jack Daniels is actually the third least offensive thing that goes into Ke$ha's mouth on a daily basis.]!

Now, let's take a cross-comparison. After all, being a satirist is a hard job -- it takes time to find something funny to say about topical things!

Key Of Awesome, Feb 01, 2010 releases a full parody of the song and music video titled appropriately "Glitter Puke"

Cracked, Mar 21 2010, a satirical review involving both "Tik Tok" and "Blah Blah" [Feb 19th '10, remember], including graphics.

Aaaaaaand, about 9 months later we have this comic. Topicality, everyone! Topicality. Now, again, the issue isn't necessarily Randa££'s being late, but rather that 9 months after other popular satires, he chooses to pick on a single line in a single Ke$ha released four singles and 17 months ago.... and this is it:

All this to say, there are three clear faults here:

1) Too little. This comic is little more than, "Ke$ha's song is not a good guide for healthy living"

To which I reply, "Wait, so until you realized that Jack Daniels was NOT a good substitute for toothpaste, you were following her advice???"

2) Too late. 17 months after the single, and 9 months after all the other Satirists had their fun. Honestly, this song is just.... old. It's pop culture, and anything more than 6 months is long forgotten. Stereo Love, you guys remember that? Yeah, that's what I thought. Although, that song also happens to be priceless and the perfect lament for lovers clinging to broken relationships under the assumption that, if there is a basic almost chemical attraction between you two, then surely the lies are meaningless -- what matters is the connection you shared, and how absolutely special he made you feel that one time. You'd rather cling to a broken relationship, grasping at every fleeting show of affection than face the world alone. He says he's sorry; that's enough isn't it? You'll never get that feeling again anywhere else, so you just have to stick it out and... and.... umm.......

3) Randa££, when you gonna stop breaking my heaaaaaart?

I don't wanna beeee another ooooOOOOoooone!

Paying for the things I've never doooooooone.

Don't let go,

Don't let go...

To my looooove!

I can fix up those lies.

Oh baby, baby I run, but I'm running to you!

You won't see me cry, I'll hide it inside --

My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you!

*SNIFF*

...