Hey, it's Jay, me again. Would you believe I liked today's comic?
Hahahaha! Joking. Did you fall for that? What is this I am seeing.
Slow down. Back up. Let's take this from the top.
This is a webcomic. It is comic number 709 of the critically and commercially successful xkcd, written and drawn by Randall Patrick Munroe (born 1984.) This comic fully sustains Randall. It is how he makes his living. At the time of writing, it is the most popular webcomic in the world.
This is comic number 709 and I do not understand it. I do not understand it because it does not make sense. There are about five theories about this comic floating around right now, the most credible one being that this is a reference to that part in Star Wars, you know, when the Ewoks mistook C3PO for a god. It's funny because it's vaguely similar to the part in the Bible where God spoke to Moses through the burning bush. Hee it's a reference hee hee and it's funny because it doesn't make snort sense and that's why it's funny hee
NO IT'S FUCKING NOT.
This comic is not remotely funny, and there is nothing you can do to make it funny, and there is nothing you can say to convince me that it's funny. This is because I am a sane fucking person who has a decent sense of humor and I don't find stupid bullshit funny just because I saw it on xkcd.com. This comic has no joke and no attempt at a joke and no basis in rational thought and it is incredibly stupid
AND THAT'S THAT.
I am truly in awe of this comic. I don't like Randall, but if you had asked me up until, say, 12:05 AM on Wednesday, I would have told you I believed he was at least reasonably intelligent. He worked for NASA, and he was funny once, but HO-LEE SHIT. What kind of mind, christ, could write and draw this comic, and then look and it and think, oh yeah, they're gonna love this one. This is good.
And the worst part, as usual, is not the comic itself. The comic doesn't even make me angry, by itself, just extremely confused. No, the worst part's the fans, because some of them do love it, thankfully the vast sane majority doesn't, but some of them do and I hate them for it. Let's examine them now:
On one hand, there are the fans who get the joke. They get it even though there is nothing there to get, and to them it's so fucking obvious, everyone who doesn't get it is an absolute retard, and of course they have to share what they think with the world. What's interesting to me is, there's more than one of these people and all their theories are different, but they all seem so confident, so clearly the logical conclusion is that they're all right.
Then we have the fans who don't get it. They don't get it but they don't want to say it, because that would mean criticizing Randall, their fucking god. If you drop off by the forum thread, you can see them dancing uncomfortably around the issue, the giant fucking elephant in the room, cracking Star Wars references, because they can't quite bring themselves to directly comment on the comic because that would entail lying ("it's good") or blasphemy ("it's bad.")
And last and worst of all, we have the fans who didn't get the comic, but laughed at it anyway, because they are fucking brainwashed. And they're proud enough of this fact to post it to the forums, instead of what they should be doing, reflexively slapping themselves in the face, getting up, lighting a match, and burning a hole in their finger while they repeat to themselves over and over, "I will reexamine my life."
Do you know what the rational response is when you don't get a joke?
No, the art doesn't save this one. It's not that good. It just has more effort put into it than the usual xkcd. There is one cool touch: the shading on the stick figure's face. It makes him more visually interesting (by which I mean, it makes him visually interesting) and Randall should do it from now on. The rest is just the minimum standard you should expect from a comic. Hey, he managed not to fuck up R2-D2. Holy shit.
I don't even understand the art. What are all those lines supposed to be? Radiating beams of light? Is the burning bush exploding? It looks like they're in a tunnel. See, it's partially obscuring the bush in the second panel. Why are they in a tunnel?
If this is a reference to Star Wars, shouldn't the stick figure be an Ewok?
Goddamn I feel like I'm caught in a time loop or something, because I keep saying the same thing, every guest post. There's no joke! Why is there no joke! And for once there literally is no joke, not even an attempt at one, no the C3PO interpretation is not a joke. Your pet theory about the etymology of YHWH isn't either. You think it's funny. You're an idiot. It's not.
This is, far and away, the unfunniest, most perplexing, shittiest xkcd in a long, long while. You have to go through absurd mental contortions to understand it and it sucks once you do. xkcd sucks.
PS: remember this?