Monday, September 26, 2011

Comics 955-956: The Giving Randy

955: neutrinos

This comic marks the first time in history Randy has ever released a comic which was relevant to a news item that happened less than 24 hours before its release. This probably explains why he was about three hours late with it. But don't worry, it's still boring! The joke is wishful-thinking "I wish I could find a way to monetarily exploit people who I think are dumb" (since he's already found a way to monetarily exploit people he thinks are brilliant), and self-deceptive "but if it turns out that current thinking is wrong I'll definitely not be one of the people desperately defending the old ways over these new incursions." Lame.

956: sharing

It's been a while since Randy's gone all freetard on us. Thank God he hasn't changed at all and is still incredibly boring about it. I never read the Giving Tree (cue angry cuddlefish telling me that not reading a children's book makes me unqualified to have an opinion on anything, especially XKCD), so can't really comment on that aspect. It makes me wonder if I'm missing something, though: is the point of this comic really nothing more than "if you have DRM which won't enable you to share a file with people, you won't be able to share the file with people?" Nothing that I know about the story seems to suggest that it would be enlightening to have read it

On the plus side, I checked out the Giving Tree Wikipedia article and saw that it had already been Randallized, but by the time I went to edit it to remove the Randallism it had already been removed and protected against further Randallism. We're winning that war, at least.

132 comments:

  1. http://xkcd.com/782/

    Rob, you've been mentioned in an xkcd comic

    Also, FIRST

    ReplyDelete
  2. he's mentioned me in a few comics

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  3. Winning that war?! Fuck that.

    The whole point of wikipedia is that anyone can fix what's wrong with it -- a bold experiment to show that people as a whole aren't the selfish destructive bastards history has repeatedly shown them to be.

    When you have to lock it to prevent a few people from making it worse (but necessarily preventing others from making it better), what you're doing is not winning, it's damage control. The best you can say is the vandals are losing, but since you're losing too, it's just a splendid reminder of how much the world, or more specifically the humans in it, sucks.

    (One _might_ call this suckage a case of life-imitating-xkcd, but sadly the world has been sucking far longer than that.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know, this time you actually put SOME effort into it. The difference between this post and last post is huge (yeah, that's what she said).

    Also, Randy mentioning the pigfucker Rob in some comics is just wishful thinking. Not everyone that mentions the name "Rob" is reffering to our old dork shit here.

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  5. did you just start reading at the last post or something, dude?

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  6. Rob is undeniably referring Robdall, the amorphous fat blob of self hate that publishes both XKCD and XKCDS.

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  7. Hey 10:26 how's 9th grade treating ya?

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  8. 10:16 sorry

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  9. Again with that fucking DRM shit?

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  10. What pathetic, desperate attempts at picking faults. It wouldn't be so bad if your reviews were funny, or at least entertaining. If you can't think of anything to say, don't even post.

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  11. But then we'd have to keep clicking to the second page to insult each other and that would get tedious

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  12. Rob let me summarize the giving tree for you:

    The giving tree is a book about a tree that gives. its ends with a douchebag kid that takes too much from the tree.

    DRM actually has nothing to do with the book when you think about it for more than 5 seconds. DRM stops people from fully controlling their digital media; whereas, the giving tree is a tree that gives. I feel like i've put more thought and effort into this post than robdall put into that shitpile strip.

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  13. 1:36 and 2:13 (but I repeat myself) need to look into becoming prison gay, because all that pent-up sexual energy isn't very healthy.

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  14. First comic: ever read Feynman's autobiography? He talks about a friend who went to Vegas and made money by making side bets against the people who were gambling. So it can work.

    Second comic: a mildly clever commentary on the way DRM seems to have its fingers in everything.

    Makes me wonder whether this site is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy; these two were a bit of a reach.

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  15. @pigfucker:

    No, I read a post every now and then and noticed a steady decline in posting quality. Starting from a very low quality already.

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  16. more like a bit of a reachAROUND

    because everyone here is gay

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dicksmash McIroncockSeptember 27, 2011 at 7:43 AM

    Wikipedia war guy:

    I don't think our hefty friend was talking about the Wikipedia war. He meant the war against keeping xkcd from dominating the world.

    Try constructing thoughts without someone's scrotum in your mouth, gentle fuckwad.

    ReplyDelete
  18. but 7:43; i like them in there, i know where they are.

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  19. Yesterday's comic was an absurdly annoying, contrived and boring commentary at DRM (again? Didn't Randall make a comic making fun at complaints towards DRM YEARS AGO?), which, as usual, uses a famous name to stand upon. It's incredible how Randall uses other people's talents to build his "reputation", isn't it?

    Also, Randall just completely demolishes the limits of suspension of disbelief: a tree has an USB port (ok, it's a comic), the guy's sole reaction is "try connecting to it, I guess" (huh?), the girl promptly pulls off an USB cord and a laptop straight out of Hammerspace (eh??), the tree tries and fails to share an e-book and the guy just goes "oh, well" (huh!!), and then they go off to see what some "Mike" is doing. Pretty much every panel in this strip is broken, except maybe the last one.

    Horrible, talentless, pointless, AND Randallism bait.

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  20. I was busy masturbating to Mr Rogers, thanks for asking

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  21. "The Giving Tree" is basically a Libertarian horror story.

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  22. Anon@10:16

    I wouldn't worry much about Wikipedia in this case. It's already unlocked, and the threat of vandalism lasts 72 hours at most (until Randall posts a new strip). In the mean time, it produces some amusing displays of stupidity, like this guy (from the Giving Tree talk page):

    "on xkcd it was on xkcd today 'the giving tree' xkcd is a webcomic and if someone could edit the page to put in that the book was in xkcd today please. because its locked. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 75.61.116.14 (talk • contribs) 13:24, 27 September 2011"

    Good lord, I'm amazed this guy even had the intellectual capacity to find the Talk and Edit tabs. That comment pretty much conclusively demolishes the myth that xkcd is a comic for smart people.

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  23. Thank you for posting that, 1:27; it was beautiful. Seriously.

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  24. Ha! Someone slapped down that idiot wiki editor, and directed him to comic 446.

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  25. people have honestly argued on wikipedia that xkcd is SIGNIFICANT. not like, significant among 21st century webcomics, but significant to a large number of people in a major way, like airplanes or rock'n'roll.

    i forget which article it was, but it went something like, duh guys, xkcd mentioned the mona lisa, this should totally go up on the article about the mona lisa, what do you mean xkcd is not significant, please prove that it is not significant.

    the same people who scoff at having to prove that there is no god.

    all for their tiny, awkward, pasty god randy.

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  26. After reading a grand total of 27 comments I have only one thing to say:

    What a "wretched hive of scum and villainy." By which I mean this website and most of its commentators.

    ReplyDelete
  27. protip, if you have to explain what you mean then your jokes and insults lose their bite.

    but i guess you wouldn't know that, being an xkcd reader and all.

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  28. It's okay, 2:07 - they seem to find pleasure in it.

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  29. 2:13, if you are talking about 2:07, I felt the need to explain myself for fear of people who would intentionally or accidentally misinterpret what I said.

    But I guess you wouldn't know that, being an xkcdsucks supporter and all.

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  30. Dicksmash McIroncockSeptember 27, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    2:07, having been completely humiliated when trying to edit the Giving Tree article, comes to the xkcdsucks forums for solace.

    ReplyDelete
  31. "all for their tiny, awkward, pasty god randy."

    i know that "pasty god" is "god that is pasty" but i can't help parsing it as "pasty god"

    either a pasty that is also a god

    or a deity whose sphere of influence is pasties

    or both

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  32. 2:58, forgive me, but was that intended to be an insult? I've been here before, and every time I come, it becomes clearer and clearer that this blog has lost its path (the path being "[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of *unwarranted* nastiness about a silly and *harmless* comic," emphasis mine).

    And despite my best efforts, I have already said more than I should have.

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  33. 75.61.116.14 is an obvious troll well parodying every cuddlefish. This is proven by 84.75.61.124.

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  34. 3:10 sooooooo you like the blog?

    Everyone please announce before your comment whether you are for or against xkcdsucks, then we will know who is being sarcastic and why.

    Thank you for your time, Godbless

    ReplyDelete
  35. 3:30 - No, I decidedly do not like this blog. The fact that XKCD sometimes does not have good comics, and it used to be much better a long time ago, I agree with. What I was trying to say in the 3:10 post was that those reasons are not cause to insult almost every single comic that Randall creates. It is a comic, not meant to be taken seriously, and these blog posts attempt to find every single possible flaw with it. Saying that is a war (against XKCD) just sealed it for me.

    TL;DR: I do not like this blog, where Rob and most commentators seem to think opinion is equivalent to fact (though sometimes, occasionally, the have valid points).

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  36. "those reasons are not cause to insult almost every single comic that Randall creates."

    right, hence the /unwarranted/ nastiness. you do know what unwarranted means, right?

    i will never understand why people think that there is any purpose to this blog besides unleashing gleeful, uninhibited vitriol on the world

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  37. "Saying that is a war (against XKCD) just sealed it for me."

    Really? It wasn't wasn't the breast cancer jokes? Cause there were a lot of cancer jokes.

    ReplyDelete
  38. anyway, what I /said/ was that it is a war against xkcd-related Wikipedia vandalism, or Randallism.

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  39. But you wouldn't know about that, would you Megan's milky tit? Hey-oh!

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  40. That guy who one-upped you online and made you cry yourself to sleepSeptember 27, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    3:35: All I see here are lots of people letting the hate flow and you whining about it.

    Until someone comes up to you in class and says "HEY DID YOU READ THE LATEST XKCDSUCKS IT'S SO TRUE", I humbly suggest that you admit your shame that you cannot reconcile your like for xkcd with your tenuous belief that you're not a sycophantic, sophomoric faux intellectual with the success potential of a stoat in a wheelchair.

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  41. A female stoat.

    With cancer.

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  42. MY PENIS IS A LARGE PENIS HOWEVER IT HAS A SMALL BEND UPWARD NEAR THE HEAD AND POINTS TO THE LEFT WHEN ERECT AND ALLOWED TO ORIENT ITSELF NATURALLY

    I DO NOT KNOW HOW THESE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE FACTORS OF MY PENIS BALANCE OUT

    CAPTCHA IS COWNESS

    WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

    ReplyDelete
  43. I don't understand how some of you cope in real life.

    I just

    ...

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  44. @RAVENZOMG

    MY PENIS IS NOT THAT BAD I CAN COPE OKAY. IT IS LARGE TO COMPENSATE WITH BENDING.

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  45. Are your caps intended to compensate for something?

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  46. FOR THE BENDING BUT NOT FOR THE SIZE WHICH IS LARGE

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  47. ALSO SERIOUSLY IS COWNESS A WORD IF SO WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

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  48. @9:10 I'm sorry, old bean, but I must inform you that this is not true trolling. Believe me, I know trolling. I have lifelong experience with the art. In days of old we would descend upon the internet, my brothers and I, and troll with the elegance befitting what I have come to truly find the most sophisticated of arts. It is the fullest analysis of what makes humanity human, what brings societies together and tears them apart. It is the essence of the human soul bared to the world.

    This is not your own achievement. What you have done, shamefully, is nothing more than vulgarity. You must learn what trolling is. You must learn to comport yourself with the poise and conviction that all true trolls carry within. Introspection, that's what you need. I can tell for a fact that you lack introspection, and it's introspection that you simply can not do without.

    Introspection! Yes, seek introspection! For when you know yourself to the fullest, you will know you are never wrong. For how can you ever be wrong when you understand your every action? And just as you know yourself, so too will you understand all that surround you. All that you see. Nobody will be able to hide their inner secrets from you, no matter how they attempt to obfuscate the truth. Then you will be able to tease those secrets out. Show the truth to the world. Then, my friend, maybe then you will have some inkling of what it is to troll.

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  49. @10:34 (TRUTH IS BEAUTY)
    LOL YOUR EMBARRASSINGLY GRANDIOSE VIEW OF TROLLING REVEALS YOUR FUNDAMENTAL FAGGOTRY, A TRAIT AT THE VARY CORE OF YOUR BEING. FAGGOT.

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  50. @10:44; I don't care if your penis *IS* horribly deformed; I love you just the same.

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  51. @ 10:48
    What is cowness?

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  52. Ha ha what if two kinds of measurement got mixed up and a hurricane was curious, a hurricane can't be curious it's just wind

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  53. @1103

    Cowness, pronounced cow-NESS, is a mythical monster swimming inside the bowels, or perhaps udders, of a cow.

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  54. 1129 thats true but now the thought of a sentient hurricane is /inside/ your head and all you can do is shout GOOMH GOOMH GOOMH, goomh, g o o m h .......

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  55. yesterday i made a joke on the internet
    i must have been trolling

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  56. What is with all these pro-XKCD comments lately? I understand that being an XKCD fan, you have warped conceptions of just about everything, but this blog has been running forever, why the resurgence? We get it, Rob is not living up to the standards of Carl to convince you that being pro-XKCD is like being pro-rape (would pro-cancer be a more appropriate comparison?), but if you haven't figured out why XKCD is terrible by now, there is nothing that can be done. You are lost forever to terrible taste, please stay away from me and enjoy your terrible things by yourself.

    And I don't know why you keep pointing out the "unwarranted" part of the description. Everything on this website is completely warranted from my perspective.

    Also Rob could you start hate blogging about Moon Over June tia

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  57. "The giving tree is a book about a tree that gives. its ends with a douchebag kid that takes too much from the tree."

    The boy starts off as an innocent child, but becomes a douchebag when he grows up. Moral of the story: don't grow up. That is my interpretation. Truly I mourn for the loss of innocence.

    And yes, I cried when I saw it.

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  58. There are two types of people: communists and the evil. Almsot everyone is born communist (we call those who show lack of empathy, love and understanding of their fellow man in early years "psychopaths"), but most people are turned evil.

    The giving tree represents the richess of life. The kid represents the majority of people growing up.

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  59. So what does that make Randall, who bitches about the concept of intellectual property while simultaneously making a living out of drawing ads for t-shirts?

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  60. @3:58

    So the government was forcing the tree to share? That story is suddenly much less touching. Thanks a lot.

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  61. A communist country does not force anyone to share. It merely does not recognise private property.

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  62. 'Scuse me while I take your spleen here. Might make a nice hood ornament.

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  63. 'Scuse me while I take a big, healthy shit all over John Lennon's corpse.

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  64. It's about irony, Rob, IRONY. A story about a tree that gives away everything it has cannot be given away (in ebook form). It is sad that your hate is born of ignorance, but I guess that is so often the case.

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  65. That's what she, personal property is not the same as private property. Not surprising to hear someone criticising a philosophy he hasn't read about beyond Wikipedia and/or soundbites. The world's full of cuddlefish, even if they don't read xkcd.

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  66. I didn't criticize the philosophy. I just took your spleen. Pay attention.

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  67. So Randall decides to do a SLIGHTLY amusing and good joke referencing Piaget.

    In the Alternate Universe, the forumites go apeshit with "I DON'T GET IT", "I READ ABOUT PIAGET AND I STILL DON'T GET IT", "I ONLY UNDERSTAND COMPUTERS AND MATHS THIS IS THE WORST XKCD EVER".

    Geezus, what a freak show.

    ReplyDelete
  68. i'm pretty sure xkcd forumites keep losing the boss fight and are all stuck in piaget level 5

    sadly there are no cheat codes for their predicament

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  69. That's what she, I already had my spleen removed by the country's public healthcare provider. I concluded you were either delusional or illustrating some point. I gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed the latter. I shall not do so again.

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  70. Does your country's public healthcare provider have a procedure for removing the balls from your mouth?

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  71. 10:09, do you have any Jewish or Asian ancestry?

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  72. I wasn't talking to you, 9:10. I was talking to 7:53. Mind your own business.

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  73. That's what she, do you like kissing on the lips during sex?

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  74. yes and no respectively, 10:30

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  75. Nobody on the Internet has ever had sex.

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  76. You know what I like? Jem.

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  77. Who the shit is Jem? Stop saying things that make no sense.

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  78. Fernie, for directing me towards the forum thread for the latest comic, you will be the first to die in my upcoming massacre of everyone in the world.

    Rob you will be second.

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  79. I ... don't get it. I usually think I get xkcd's jokes. But not today.blowfishhootie

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  80. This is a breakdown of NHC accuracy numbers for 2010, as well as the preceding five-year period. The short of it: over that five-year span, NHC forecasts given 24 hours before a storm's landfall were off by an average of about 60 miles (53 nautical miles), with forecasts given five days ahead of time being off by an average of nearly 300 miles (252 nautical miles). Could I achieve that? No. Could the APA? Probably not. Does that mean that most meteorologists couldn't predict, within a range of 600 miles, where a storm will land five days from now? I'm not sure if they could - I really have no idea - but bringing the APA into the conversation certainly doesn't convince me of anything. I think 300 miles in any direction seems like quite a big range. Would that range of error really get much bigger with a smaller budget?

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  81. You guys are my only family. I love you all.

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  82. Kids cheat on SAT

    On the bright side, the kids have a promising future in politics. Especially for the democrats.

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  83. ...Because the democrats are morally-challenged liars, you see.

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  84. Well, Democrat voters are slightly less stupid, so you do need a bit of sophistication to lie to them.

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  85. hey guys it's jon levi and his hilarious antics

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  86. Yes, it does takes a bit of intelligence to completely destroy the economy.

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  87. unless you're INSERT ANY POLITICIAN HERE!

    burn!

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  88. The above comments display a level of faggotry that is unprecented in human conversation. There is enough faggotry in that exchange to comeplete faggify the entire non-fag population, and to RE-fag those who are already fags.

    ReplyDelete
  89. 957 required a little research.

    After looking it up it turns out that there isn't a joke.

    FUCK he has 43 left to 1000, what the fuck is he going to do then, a diorama?

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  90. Faggotry is circular. So fags have become asexual, and asexuals have become straight.

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  91. I'm immune to faggotry progression. I'll always love dick.

    By the way, please check out my blog. It's kind of a big deal. I'll be famous one day, you'll see.

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  92. I write the second most popular hateblog of a pretty well known webcomic.

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  93. I didn't get it, so I went to Xkcdexplained.com and laughed for a good 6 minutes straight.

    Then I googled Piaget and sneered a little that people still like this webcomic.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Wow, i'm reading the Xkcdexplained.com archives and seriously Rob, learn form these guys.

    Sit the fuck down and study at their feet.

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  95. except i'm not trying to be xkcdexplained.

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  96. http://www.explainxkcd.com/

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  97. xkcdexplained, like xkcd, got predictable after the first few explanations. You can only go so far applying exactly the same style of haha-only-serious critique to the same half dozen features which make up every single strip.

    The "Fuck this I'm done." confirms that the authors eventually realised this too.

    And the presence of Rob on xkcdsucks confirms that Carl thought the same.

    Consider Rob the lube that allows the hate to pass through the sphincter of otherwise awkward social introduction on the Internet. The purpose of this blog is this bit, not the bit at the top.

    ReplyDelete
  98. The comment threads here are exactly the fucking same every time. This blog has no purpose beyond allowing inane fuckwits to drivel pointlessly.

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  99. Drivel is not a verb, fuckbag. Go back whence you came, where xkcgay fanboys like you are not penalized for your horrible social skills and arrogance.

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  100. Drivel is a verb and a noun.

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  101. So you're saying that you've seen the last three comments (including this one) on this thread many times before?

    I think you are a liar. A liar and a fool.

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  102. You know there's this old joke that I feel applies to this situation.

    There was this Irish kid right and he moved to America with his family when he was 8. Apparently 8 was just the right age for everyone to know that stereotypically Irish people were dumb and yet to not yet know what discrimination was so many a cruel jape was played on him. They used to play this one game, where they'd offer him a quarter or a dollar bill. I was watching him once when they did this and after they left I strolled up to the poor mite and inquired as to whether or not he truly did not understand the denominations or intrinsic value. Coyly he replied, indeed he did, but should he take the dollar, they would stop doing it.

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  103. Don't listen to that fag Rob, we love you just the way you are.

    Disgusting.

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  104. I personally thought it was a multi-layered artwork of hatred and bile that mirrored the own artists struggles with the pure liquid faeces the strip he cares for is turning into.

    Like here, but is started out loving before the hate started building.

    I dunno, maybe it just reminded me of my mother and that's why I so desperately seek its approval.

    WHO THE FUCK KNOWS RIGHT.

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  105. Anon 4:04

    No. See, this is what I'm talking about. Stop. You people are a serious threat to society. "A liar and a fool." Did you read that BACK to yourself? Do you not REALIZE what a faggoty thing that is to say, HERE? You could fag ten people with that statement alone. Please. I'm begging you.

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  106. Anyone under the age of 19 should have their hands cut off if they are found using the internet.

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  107. R, could you explain which part of my antics are hilarious?

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  108. so 5:48 i'm guessing you're 19?

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  109. I am 29, you fucking idiot.

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  110. That sounds like a 19 y.o.'s response is all I'm sayin'.

    Captcha: baggen. Like the hobbit. I mean, like The Hobbit.

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  111. Still hanging out at dives like this at the age of 29? You're never going to develop.

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  112. This blog is literally the only thing capable of granting me an erection anymore.

    I'm not joking.

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  113. Have you tried mash-ups of Linkin Park and Hitler speeches?

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  114. Guys.

    ' A 26-year-old Massachusetts man with a physics degree was arrested and charged Wednesday with plotting an attack on the Pentagon and the U.S. Capitol with a remote-controlled model aircraft, authorities said.'

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/28/us/massachusetts-pentagon-plot-arrest/

    Guys.

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  115. Anon who posted that:
    BRILLIANT FIND!

    Captcha: Graph
    It's all about the XKCD today...

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  116. The Anon Who Posted ThatSeptember 29, 2011 at 1:36 AM

    All in the service of mankind.

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  117. Rob you're a total baller.
    xkcd does suck at the moment.
    Keep on being a total boss.

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  118. Lament for a jailed physicistSeptember 29, 2011 at 6:25 AM

    When the outside temperature rises
    And the meaning is oh so clear
    One thousand and one yellow daffodils
    Begin to dance in front of you - oh dear
    Are they trying to tell you something?
    You're missing that one final screw
    You're simply not in the pink my dear
    To be honest you haven't got a clue
    I'm going slightly mad
    I'm going slightly mad
    It finally happened - happened
    It finally happened - ooh oh
    It finally happened - I'm slightly mad
    Oh dear!
    I'm one card short of a full deck
    I'm not quite the shilling
    One wave short of a shipwreck
    I'm not at my usual top billing
    I'm coming down with a fever
    I'm really out to sea
    This kettle is boiling over
    I think I'm a banana tree
    Oh dear, I'm going slightly mad
    I'm going slightly mad
    It finally happened, happened
    It finally happened uh huh
    It finally happened I'm slightly mad - oh dear!
    I'm knitting with only one needle
    Unravelling fast its true
    I'm driving only three wheels these days
    But my dear how about you?
    I'm going slightly mad
    I'm going slightly mad
    It finally happened
    It finally happened oh yes
    It finally happened
    I'm slightly mad!
    Just very slightly mad!
    And there you have it!

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  119. all of them jon. all of them

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  120. One-liner, name... One-liner

    Captcha: Termater
    Extra cheese, hold the termaters.

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  121. Rezwan Ferdaus, a U.S. citizen from Ashland, Massachusetts, planned to use model aircraft filled with C-4 plastic explosives, authorities said.

    Stephen King never was very original with his villains, was he? =\

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  122. I love xkcd, randall, his fans/forums, and everything associated with xkcd. He never fails to draw exactly what I was thinking and I regard the entire enterprise as a significant part of both 20th and 21st century world culture. I only come here to complain about how blind people are to what a great comic it is and how much it contributes to the world.

    Someone up above wanted us to declare our allegiance and say whether we're sarcastic. Obviously all my allegiance is to Randall and I regard sarcasm as a lazy man's attempt at the kind of cutting edge humor you find primarily on XKCD. Also, the attempts to turn Wikipedia against xkcd are digital fascism even worse than DRM.

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