Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Comic 954: A Steady Decline

Chin-Up Bar
[Comic title: Chin-up Bar; alt text: Those few who escaped found the emergency cutoff box disabled. The stampede lasted two hours and reached the bottom three times.]

I'm going to break this one down by panel.

Panel 1:Oh man, it's Black Hat Guy!
Panel 2: And oh man he's on an ESCALATOR! Oh man this is going to be so fucking wacky I'm going to SHIT BALLS AND TRIP BRICKS.
Panel 3: BEAT PANEL SO EXCITED
Panel 4: Oh that's a chin-up bar! WHAT IS HE DOING WITH IT I MUST KNOW
Panel 5: Ha ha ha, ZING! Not-a-hat-person gets taken down a peg! Or maybe a step, because he's on an escalator? Eh? Eh?
Panel 6: WHERE DID BLACK HAT GUY GO WHAT IS HE DOING
Panel 7: Oh he's still on the escalator but man DOUBLE ZING. Ha ha ha "I'm not a psychologist." Too true, Randy! Who knows why we do anything???
Panel 8: oh man this has been the most epic build-up ever what is he doing is he
Panel 9: HA HA HA HA IT IS ACROSS THE ESCALATOR OH MAN
Panel 10: IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE THEY ARE FALLING DOWN BECAUSE OF THE CHIN-UP BAR BLACK HAT GUY PUT UP HA HA WHAT WILL THEY DO THEY CAN'T AVOID IT BECAUSE THE ESCALATOR IS MOVING

UPDATE: btw this is the 666th xkcd sucks post! I know I'm excited.

252 comments:

  1. this is because you are dumb as shit

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  2. No, it's because he likes it. Lots of people like lots of things for lots of reasons, get over your elitism.

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  3. I wish this happened in real life. Not because I want to see dozens of men, women and children crushed to death in a heap (well, not _only_ because of that), but because the time-lapse video would be hilarious when played backwards.

    And WTF does the title text even mean? "Reached the bottom three times"?

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  4. @gamer 11:45: you cannot like something because you like it; one needs a reason. the reason you like this comic is because you are dumb as shit.

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  5. So you can't like something dumb as shit without also being dumb as already bored nevermind.

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  6. @Rob:

    When have I EVER posted as anonymous for any reason? Heck, even when I promote my own blog (to your excessive ridicule), I do it as myself.

    If someone agrees with me, let them agree with me. If someone disagrees with you, let them disagree with you.

    I know you've long since abandoned any pretense of this being an actually objective review site anymore (and saying "it's really all about the community" is just a stupid, cop-out way of saying "I really like the fact that I can get 100 comments for writing some garbage and calling it a day"), but seriously, lighten the heck up.

    (And for the record, if 11:45 was really me, he would've used a semicolon between "reasons" and "get.")

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  7. "When have I EVER posted as anonymous for any reason?"

    11:45 today

    "but seriously, lighten the heck up."

    sorry but i think you might be just projecting

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  8. This week's black hat guy shenanigan was nice, but not as wacky last weeks, stud finder finder.

    Haha, stud finder finder.

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  9. Also gamer 2k4 is an aspergerite piece of necbeardian dumb shit

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  10. lololo@Gamer_2neckbeard4 telling anyone to "lighten the heck up".

    There's only one person who takes the xkcd critique process seriously, Gamer, and I'm fairly sure it isn't Rob.

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  11. rob we wand objective critique of xkcd, like gamer 2k4's
    tell us about the artwork rob. does the artwork suck, rob? are there dislocated heads? is ther post punchline dialog? this is important, rob. somebody should objectively point out the unique flaws and failures of xkcd #954.
    but who would rise to the challenge???

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  12. @me 12:16: thanks a lot now i'm having a panic attack

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  13. you should have a panic attack rob. seeing as pointing out the unique flaws and failures of xkcd #954 is takes an analytic mind and the determination&willpower to point out new and controversial flaws, such as bad art and unnatural "THIS IS A LONG ESCALATOR" dialog.
    nowhere in all the previous 953 xkcd's did we see the unique character combination of bad art, dislocated heads and post punchline dialog, but along with the appearance of the illusive "show don't tell" characteristic.
    it takes an analytic mind to point out these unique flaws rob. a unique mind and objective critique.

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  14. Guise

    GUISE

    GUISE GUISE

    Imagine Gamer_2k4

    Imagine Gamer_2k4 naked

    NAKED

    Naked with his little man in his hand

    JACKING IT

    JACKING IT HARD

    To his own reviews

    Because that is how seriously he takes them.

    Gamer_2k4, cheeto-encrusted neckbeard, naked and SPEWING JISM all over a hard copy of his review.

    When you understand that this is how important xkcd reviewing is to him, you'll know why he spams as he does.

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  15. what the fuck is this

    yeah okay i have nothing to really say about this one so let's just kind of restate what happened and pretend to find it amusing when actually i do not find it amusing

    that'll be clever

    that'll be worth a read

    what the fuck is this rob

    get it together rob

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  16. there's a handy guideline to tell when i have nothing to say about a comic versus when i actually want to write a post, and it is by looking at the timestamps.

    when i post something within a few hours of a comic going up, i actually want to write a post. when i have nothing to say, i usually put it off.

    this isn't 100% reliable, of course, since i often put off posts out of laziness or distraction, but i will never post when i have nothing to say within a few hours of the comic going up, unless my post actually says 'nothing to say about this one.'

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  17. Rob doesn't even try anymore. I mean, critizising a comic is one thing. But THIS post is even worse than the worst xkcd-comic. Come on Rob, you've lost your mojo (if you ever had it, that is). Stop beating dead horses you pig fucker.

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  18. you should explain to us in detail how the art sucks rob. gamer2k4 would give us that much.

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  19. Laughed harder at Rob's breakdown, but there *was* a joke in this comic.

    It could have been about six panels shorter, though.

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  20. The Ghost of Christmas PastSeptember 21, 2011 at 3:05 AM

    This strip reminds me of the 1987 King's Cross underground station fire, where escalators were literally carrying people into the flames.

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  21. rob where can i buy a printed collection of your wittiest reviews?

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  22. Guise, guise, look, I used hat guy again! You love him, right? He's up to quirky shenanigans. Please love me.

    Also, guise, check it out: I used metric just to remind you all that I'm a scientist.

    Captcha: swora. Are you trying to say soiree? Poor captcha generator didn't do well in grade school.

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  23. Couldn't they just step over the chin-up bar? I don't know about you guys but I personally have no problems stepping over knee high obstacles.

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  24. They fell victim to the insurmountable waist-high fence trope.

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  25. every anon who criticizes rob = gamer_2neckbeard4 = samefag

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  26. Everyone uses the metric system. Get over it.

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  27. @rob1224: fuck you, I would totally say "This is a long escalator" if it went for 70m.

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  28. No, no, we commoners can't comprehend metric, which is why we must pay respect to real scientists who do, like Randall.

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  29. Every registered account that critizises anons = Rob = samefag

    Also, everyone who doesn't understand the metric system can go fuck himself. That's why Europe owns USA, you suckers!

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  30. Europe is rapidly running out of money and can't afford to own anything. The truth is that Canada owns all y'all bitches (everyone in america says y'all right?)

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  31. Pfft. Everyone knows China will soon rule the world.

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  32. "Europe owns USA"

    You do know Europe is a continent, not a country, right? And by the way, England is in Europe and they don't use metric.

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  33. As Rob has failed in his very srs duties of responsibly reviewing the comic, I shall take over:

    Nope, this is retarded, never mind.

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  34. Guys, guys, I dug up Gandhi's corpse and shat mightily upon his face.

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  35. "England is in Europe and they don't use metric."

    Yes we do. It's the LAW. Anyone using imperial units is knifed to death.

    Also, Gandhi was cremated.

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  36. Porter Square. Randy lives in Somerville MA right? Yeah. Porter Square. If you know the area you know I'm talking about.

    I figure see, Randy's coming home after a long day in the office where he works real hard because he has a proper job that involves so many lots of working, and he gets off at Porter Square T stop and rides the really long escalator up and out, and his work-frazzled brain notices, "Hey this escalator is really long".

    Because it is.

    And then he tries to find some time in between all his working in the office hard working at his job to make a funny little comment about the length of that escalator. And he does, cos gee if Randy's not working then he's working.

    I'm not going to be harsh on the lameness of this strip though. let's all take a step back. Randy'd spent all day working real hard, and he's really busy and over-worked working at his job that demands so much work, so let's all stop now, and admit it'd be unfair and petty to say "Hey you should do even more work". This strip was done for a little laugh. Not for work. Well done Randy, let's all say that. Because he works so hard I think he deserves it.

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  37. What a shitty review! Someone has to launch a ”xkcd sucks sucks” blog.

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  38. WTF Rob. This comic is actually pretty good. This is actually similar to the early XKCD black hat comics where it was a bit mischievous instead of evil genius where he trolls US Congress (though I actually enjoyed that bit, the stuff afterwards wasn't as great...).

    Gamer, who I noticed that he been here for a long time, and gave guest reviews here and etc make a little quip, you just insults him and accuse him of making fake commentators. Like there's never been anons who said the same thing to you before.

    And, btw, insulting someone to an innocent comment does make someone look like an ass rather than someone projecting something.

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  39. Go back to Robonia, foreignfag.

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  40. Rob, did you even stop to think and remember that Gamer's fiancée has CANCER. Cancer, Rob. Think about it.

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  41. I thought about it. Then I laughed.

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  42. You are right, Rob. Do you people honestly find this strip funny? There are a few times where I've disagreed with xkcdsucks, but this is a truly shitty and unfunny strip. Why wouldn't people just go UNDER the bar?

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  43. Because it's a chin-up bar, not a limbo bar.

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  44. I kind of sort of liked this strip.

    Sure, there were massive problems (I read the second panel as "This is 70 meters a long longest in escalator the country" the first time.) and escalator jokes are kind of tired and there were about 3 panels of dead space which he could have easily trimmed without causing any negative effects...

    ...

    Rob, you could have easily won all over the fucking place with this review. But you didn't. SHAME.

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  45. I liked this review a lot. It was hard to imagine what anyone could get out of this drawing (not "comic" because there isn't a joke in #954). You would have to have the mentality Rob describes in order to enjoy #954.

    On the forums there is some debate about whether this comic is in poor taste... I don't think it is really, not with today's hyper-violent media, but I can understand some of the reasons someone might think that way.

    The big problem is that this "comic" does not contain a joke.

    Unfortunately, this led to people comparing #954 to the Bugs Bunny and Road Runner cartoons, which I find extremely offensive. These XKCD fans are really so far gone that they think XKCD is comparable to the classic American slapstick cartoons. Talk about lacking any comprehension of art or humor.

    This post caught my eye (well, because I wrote it). I would like to share it with this friendly audience. I humbly accept your accolades.

    The differences between the Warner Brothers cartoons, which are excellent, and this xkcd are rather large.

    Bugs Bunny/Road Runner: lots of jokes, much effort was put into the drawing, coloring, shading, water coloring, sound effects, musical score, dialogue, story, social and political commentary, wit, etc., etc.

    xkcd #954: black and white stick figure who wears a black hat creates a dangerous situation (no joke, no effort in drawing or writing it, nor effort in much else of it).

    #954 is like if Randall drew a comic of Black Hat guy up on a cliff, looking down at the coyote many feet below and he then pushes an anvil on him... with no story or joke development as in #954. It's not comparable to the great classics of American cartoon in any appreciable way. It's not the situation or story that makes #954 horrible. The main thing is that there's no joke (or if there is supposed to be, it is so horribly executed as to be unrecognizable as such). There's no story. There's hardly effort anywhere in this one. A huge steaming pile of fail.

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  46. "WTF Rob. This comic is actually pretty good. This is actually similar to the early XKCD black hat comics where it was a bit mischievous instead of evil genius where he trolls US Congress (though I actually enjoyed that bit, the stuff afterwards wasn't as great...)."

    that storyline was shitty and terrible, just like all XKCD storylines. Just FYI.

    Now, English does not appear to be your native tongue, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you don't have a good enough grasp of English to understand that these comics are shitty. So you'll just have to trust me on this one: they are.

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  47. Sometimes, you have toSeptember 21, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    admit when a xkcd isn't that bad. I got a good chuckle out of this one, reminded me of older BHG. I miss Carl, at least he would admit when a xkcd wasn't very shitty or even good. Rob just seems to bash xkcd for the sake of bashing.

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  48. http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/Portivoy/2040286


    plz rate my videos game?

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  49. The burden of proof is on those who enjoy #954 to explain how in the fuck it is supposed to be good.

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  50. If 955 has BHG frying in the electric chair for causing dozens of deaths, Randall will have redeemed himself.

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  51. This one is actually quite funny

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  52. This one is actually quite xkcdassdeffesadf megan xkcdsucks.ocmsdat!

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  53. BHG is a smug asshole and would've been physically assaulted ages ago if he were a real person.

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  54. Comic about a cunt where we are supposed to admire and laugh with the cunt? Cunts.

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  55. someone i know says he's seen something like this happen in real life and it's not as funny as you would expect :(

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  56. The New Guy, same applies to Randall. The Internet took away the fist, humanity's greatest regulator.

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  57. Anon Sept. 20 11:46:

    Reached the bottom three times means they hit the bottom, but because the escalator keeps on moving up, the pile starts moving up until it gets pushed back by the other bodies.

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  58. okay see i'ts funny becase escalaters are juts moving stairs

    and fallling down stairs is is always funny. no excpetons.

    I TOLD YOU MAN

    I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS!

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  59. Oh look. Chin up bar. (steps over) Would you like me to help you with that?

    -The real world

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  60. Art: Apparently that's an escalator. And a chin up bar. Lucky the text described what the drawings were supposed to depict.

    Joke: People falling down is funny. The people are stupid and can't avoid a small obstacle, unlike autistocrat genius Randall.

    Alt-Text: This went on for two hours? Nobody could remove a small bar that was hastily placed in position?

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  61. "Thinking once more about this comic, I think one of the reasons I like it is that it serves the purpose of illustrating that escalators are dangerous and that anyone who prevents ppl from exiting them at the end is posing a risk.

    The effect of this comic is not that the number of such "anyones" increases because some hobby-sociopath decides to play being BHG, they will rather decrease as people are reminded how dangerous escalators might be if someone is to lax/lazy/careless and is too slow to get out of the way of the rest of ppl who comes.

    I recall the practice my wife and I had with our pram when using escalators: the one without the pram stands before the one wit but we made sure we had a few empty steps between us, so the first of us got enough time to ensure anyone not paying attention (read "someone who's an idiot") to get out of the way. It's one thing being blocked when you are on your own and can squeese yourself past those who should know better, it's an entirely different business when you have a pram and gets trapped!

    So by making a joke about how a sociopath turn a escalator into a dangerous trap Randall reminds us about the necessity of not acting carelessly when exiting the escalator so we don't create the trap by mistake.

    (Yes, I do acknowledge that I understand that the thing BHG does with his chin-up bar very well could cause the mayhem depicted in the last panel. And no I don't think escalator incidents are fun IRL. Happy now? And I do know how much harder, jagged and nastier escalator steps are compared to steps in a "normal" (non-moving) stair... "Ouch!!!")

    /IllvilJa

    PS. Did I mention that I too are part of the "this is funny"-camp? /DS"

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  62. I for one read this site because I think it's hilarious how much people like Rob are threatened by people who disagree.

    Sure, xkcd isn't a paragon of humor and wit, but I know some very intelligent people who still enjoy it. Good for them.

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  63. How many of these intelligent people who like xkcd are regular readers of any other webcomic? I'm guessing very few, if any.

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  64. This is an enjoyable xkcd you all are clearly just not intelligent or cultured enough to appreciate it.

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  65. who knows why we hate anything

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  66. who knows why we love anything

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  67. @anon at 11:54: SO? Either go over it or under it. Judging by the comic, there's definitely room underneath it so...

    This comic really just makes no sense. I can't believe nobody would have stopped Black Hat Guy before he managed to set up the chin bar, or that nobody would have been able to remove it. Or that he was even able to set it up so fast that the people who were RIGHT BEHIND HIM on the escalator (the woman and guy-in-glasses) would be trapped behind the bar. SERIOUSLY?

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  68. Rob you are the greatest troll ever born.
    My god XKCD nerds will freak out over anything won't they?

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  69. It feels... Tyler Durden-esque. You know, doing something strange in a very casual way, and trying to point out to anybody who questions your reasoning that they're a hypocrite.

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  70. I didn't like this strip exactly, but it reminded me of strips i did laugh; remembering those old strips made me chuckle.

    This strip is an XKCD eulogy.

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  71. Folk: sure, it can be easy to step over a chin up bar, but when you're on an escalator it's a little trickier to step over a person who has tripped over a chin up bar and trickier still to step over a person who has tripped over a person who has tripped over a chin up bar. This is one of those snowballing situations. You might even say the problem could easily... escalate?

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  72. Attention! I'm taking a poll. Everyone who hates Jews, post anything below this one. Everyone who doesn't, don't.

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  73. I hate everyone equally, so karma points aren't lost with me!

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  74. Attention! I'm taking a poll. Everyone who hates Hitler, post anything below this one. Everyone who doesn't, don't.

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  75. @ 9:26
    Of course I hate Hitler. He was a quarter Jewish.

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  76. @9:40 Technically you are not Jewish unless your mother is Jewish. (Plus he had no Jewish lineage anyway.)

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  77. @ 10:06
    1)DNA tests support the claim that Hitler was of Jewish descent.

    2)Just because Judaism is a matriarchal religion doesn't mean I need to view the world that way you fucking sexist. You're acting as bad as they do.

    3)You're an antisemite just for posting here.

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  78. Yes, Yes - I feel the hatred flowing - making me even more powerful!

    Let the hate flow through you

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  79. More like "Let Rob's dick flow through you" amirite

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  80. @That's what she said... @7:52

    So, what does it matter if Europe is a continent? USA is a bunch of states thrown together. The European Union is a bunch of states thrown together.

    Also, of course England (or the UK, to be more precise) uses the metric system. But on the other hand, Englad/UK was always a bit strange and I totally understand the USA wanted to be independet of those fuckers.

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  81. So I heard some of you like Jews/Americans and some of you like Palestinians/Europeans. Let's follow the example of the Internet and have a civilised debate about the matter.

    I would say that on the one hand, Jews are a proud people clinging to strong values despite centuries of oppression and Americans are hard working and love freedom. On the other hand, Jews kill Palestinian babies and Americans kill all the remaining Arabianic babies.

    What do you all think? Should we support Israel or should we redress the Palestinian's grievances? Where Jews are concerned, should we be thinking in terms or more fairness or more furnace? Respond to this post and make your opinion known. Perhaps we'll all learn from it.

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  82. Obvious sackpuppet of previous posterSeptember 22, 2011 at 1:04 AM

    Well, Peacemaker, I would say that Israel represents the height of democracy and freedom in the Middle East. Think how much better it would be if every regime in that area were as civilised as Israel's. It's not as if Arabs in surrounding countries even care for the Palestinians beyond their marketing potential - if they did, they'd happily absorb them into their own nations.

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  83. Another sock, this time using a different tone to put the Internet hounds off the scent,September 22, 2011 at 1:05 AM

    @1:04 fuck off kike

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  84. Ok I admit it guise. this post was shit. I am shit. No one should read my shitty posts anymore.

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  85. ANAL MOLD RERUN, being an anagram of RANDALL MUNROE,September 22, 2011 at 2:19 AM

    Ok I admit it guise. this strip was shit. I am shit. No one should read my shitty comic any more.

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  86. @Rob I am concerned that your link has lots of links to fucking and truck driving but nothing about pigs.

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  87. you guys
    you guys
    i found the new best webcomic ever
    check this out:
    http://iiafw.com/2011/08/11/force-of-habit/

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  88. And on a more serious note: webcomic holocausts such as the above never would've happened had it not been for xkcd, which made people think this sort of shit is acceptable to begin with.

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  89. http://iiafw.com/2011/07/28/s-u-p-er-mn/
    because mendeleev named all of those elements
    god, what a dumb fuck

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  90. http://iiafw.com/2011/07/07/autobots-factorize/
    kill me
    kill me now

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  91. ^ THREE PEOPLE WORKED ON THIS SINGLE STRIP

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  92. 5:31, that is actually no more contrived than the average xkcd. He should reduce the quality of his artwork and claim he's parodying Munroe.

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  93. BHG's dialog is so horrible. This is what a 4 y.o. would say.

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  94. http://iiafw.com/2009/12/31/nines-revenge/
    This is what a retard would draw.

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  95. http://iiafw.com/2009/08/08/fun-factor/
    how new and exciting

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  96. 5:57 that comic is actually cultured and intelligent. it's a date joke but i wouldn't expect you to know that as it wasn't made for the likes of you

    is the guy's name really clark mcfly? that's the name i would use if i wanted to make a randall parody

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  97. http://iiafw.com/2008/03/27/guess-whos-back/
    "Maybe you dreamt about sending it to me"
    "Don't be silly. I remember it vividly. It was right after I came back from the bar with Larry, the flying pink elephant."
    ...
    "Oh..."
    hi-LA-rious

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  98. IIAFW is great because it removes the worst two parts of comics, characters and humor.

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  99. Also, Randall could take a few pointers from Clark. If we had more comics like this (http://iiafw.com/2008/03/13/a-word-from-our-sponsors/), I think xkcd would be more enjoyable.

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  100. "Panel 3: BEAT PANEL SO EXCITED"

    Haven't you criticized xkcd in the past for NOT using beat panels or pauses?

    Now you criticize it for using them. It just makes no sense. Also that claim:

    "you cannot like something because you like it; one needs a reason. the reason you like this comic is because you are dumb as shit"

    Could easily be reverted and end up as: ""you cannot dislike something because you dislike it", at least as long as you don't give something that resembles an argument. And in that case the shit would go back to you.

    Maybe I am wrong believing that there is the slightest possibility of having a discussion in this blog, maybe it's actually meant to be a place where you can throw shit at others. If that's the case, you're doing an excellent job, but I think you should be a bit honest and put it in the front page or something.

    Not that I liked this strip too much, actually.

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  101. SGirl = Randall = every anon here = Samefag. QED

    Doesn't of course change the fact that I am still less funny than xkcd. Oh well.

    Also, sorry for the inconvinience with that last link. Hopefully the new link will give us more about pigs and less about trucks. Let's hope for the best!

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  102. "your only goal may be to just piss off everyone, but YOU SHOULD BE HONEST about it"

    hey, you could also suggest to gadaffi that he be more forthcoming about his intention to bomb everyone who opposes him, after that you can convince the governor of Texas to admit he only does the god thing for votes, and finally tell obama to come out and say, lol guys, our campaing funders don't want no profit-hurting climate change agreement, so we aren't going to enter one no matter the evidence, you can stop trying lol

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  103. SGirl, you philistine bimbo, it's all about context. A beat panel is entirely appropriate when it's taking us from an interesting start to a hilarious punchline. When it's just an empty buckets in the middle of a line of buckets of shit then it's worthless, just like everything you've ever posted here.

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  104. It's cute that you want to have a legitimate discussion about xkcd, but you're about two years too late for that if you want to do it here.

    Captcha: queengst. Yes, captcha generator, SGirl is indeed an angsty drama queen.

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  105. I'll see your IIAFW, and raise you an even crappier comic.

    Turbosloth advertises itself (via Project Wonderful) as 'like XKCD, for stupid people' or 'like Questionable Content with bad art and no plot'. I like how that is a subtle insult to both.

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  106. I... actually chuckled at this one. XKCD has recently been about as inane as Rob's reviews of XKCD, but this one managed to amuse me. The comic, that is. Rob's review is as devoid of a legitimate review as usual.

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  107. I like how butthurt Rob is over a webcomic. Made my day. Thanks Rob! Continuing being a douche!

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  108. Who the fuck are all these new faggots?

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  109. They're all the same fag, clearly a butthurt xkcd fan, or else he wouldn't be hurling the word at someone who mocks it. Amusingly pathetic, really.

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  110. every comment above this one = gamer2k4 = samefag

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  111. oh snap he just called you a butthurt fag
    quick, counter it with a lolcat image macro and a umad bro

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  112. "called you a butthurt fag"

    The biggest insult was "xkcd fan"

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  113. Science Officer Munroe of NASASeptember 22, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    xkcd is a pyramid scheme. At the top is Robdall, underneath that are his early fans, then the medicore geeks who never grew up, and so on down to the high school outcast who first reads a LOL HAVE U SEEN THE LATEST? on some gamer forum. Each one feels that he has increased in status by sharing the love for xkcd with the one who introduced it to him, and in turn thinks his passion is justified by managing to convince others that it is funny.

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  114. Jesus christ, can whoever keeps accusing everyone of being samefag stop? It's annoying as fuck.

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  115. Jesus Christ = whoever keeps accusing everyone of being samefag = samefag

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  116. I thought the fact that we were all Randall/Carl/Rob's sockpuppets was established years ago. Do we really need to bring tired 4Chanisms into it?

    PRE-EDIT: Firefox considers "4Chanisms" a word, but not "sockpuppets". What the hell.

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  117. This blog is actually less funny than xkcd these days. Carl was good; Rob, you just spew unfunny generic anger. Step up your game.

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  118. >PRE-EDIT: Firefox considers "4Chanisms" a word, but not "sockpuppets". What the hell.

    That's because '4Chanisms' starts with a 4. Put a number in front of 'sockpuppets' and it will be ignored by the spellchecker in the same way.

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  119. Anon5:14, you do realise that this blog isn't actually attempting to be funny, yes? It's just here to mock xkcd and goad baboons such as yourself.

    Whereas Randall, Aspie-ridden, actually feels that he has to announce that his comic is about "unusual humor".

    So, while I'm here, This is a post of romance, sarcasm, math and your sending me $25 then swallowing a large quantity of methanol so you go blind and your taste improves to compensate YOU BROKEN CONDOM IN THE SEWER OF LIFE.

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  120. "Maybe I am wrong believing that there is the slightest possibility of having a discussion in this blog, maybe it's actually meant to be a place where you can throw shit at others. If that's the case, you're doing an excellent job, but I think you should be a bit honest and put it in the front page or something."

    you're right, maybe there should be a tagline at the top, right under the title. it could say "[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic." I'll just go and retroactively add that so that it has been there for well over a year, shall I?

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  121. Have sex with me, Rob. Hot sex. Don't kiss me, just fuck me.

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  122. Rob you're a hack and that kills you on the inside. Now give a sarcastic response so you can save face.

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  123. So I guess in the XKCD universe people are unable to lift their knees to avoid a thigh-high obstacle.

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  124. Don't let these anons destroy your big beautiful soul, Rob! :(

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  125. @6:34 The real issue is if you look close enough, the xkcd-creatures don't actually have knees.

    Or maybe you like making fun of people without full usage of their knees, you elitist knee-abuser.

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  126. Oh, man. How's Rob gonna respond to all these people baggin' on his life's work?

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  127. C'mon guys. Making fun of rob is pretty fun, but can get back to the XKCD bashing??!

    U mad bro? UAMAD!+#_ASsaef

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  128. I would like a shirt that says "XKCD has made me ashamed to study mathematics", is there a place i could get this

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  129. I would like to be a Jew
    Making heaps of money without effort
    If this is so, wouldn't you?
    Gold silver diamons and nefert

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  130. @ Rob
    see raven's post there is a market for xkcdsucks shirts. capitalize and become wealthy

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  131. i need someone who can make good t-shirts first

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  132. @Raven Jesus Christ, what's with you internet denizens always wanting to buy t-shirts with preprinted slogans? Can't you people invest in a marker?

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  133. @Ravenzomg, while I agree with your sentiment, it would only make me want a t-shirt embossed with, "I'm embarrassed by the number of mathematicians who want t-shirts with a slogan which implies that they are mathematicians."

    Although that would court guffaws of "HURR YOUR T-SHIRT IS IN SOME WAY RECURSIVE" prompting my fist to be embossed with blood from someone's nose.

    No, I lie, all geeks are wimps who are employed to invent oppressive tech but wouldn't have the balls to actually use the death ray they've been paid their jewgold to build.

    captcha: muslyt, said the emo to his counsellor.

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  134. hahah 200$ that black hat guy is so wacky

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  135. So turns out the experiment worked, you guys. How would Randy discuss this topic without being two years late, if he didn't break causality in some way?

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  136. I wonder whether Black Hat Guy is actually supposed to be the token black guy, causing trouble for those proud "non-black-hatted" people who are just trying to go about their daily lives.

    This would fit in with Randall's racist views, although it's slightly more subtle than his misogyny since by the end of kindergarten we solidly identify long hair = woman in sketches.

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  137. ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID ABOUT 955September 23, 2011 at 12:28 AM

    955: one place failing scientists often turn to is investment banking.

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  138. "this isn't about whether relativity exists?" Who the fuck taught you philosophy of science, Randall?

    Oh, right. I forgot. Philosophy is for those liberal arts fags. Keep on spergin' then

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  139. RELATIVITY DOES NOT EXIST, MAN. IT'S ALL IN OUR HEADS WHICH ALSO DO NOT EXIST.

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  140. At least his topical bullshit is, for once, not nine months late.

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  141. Randall's trying to act all cool about it, but he's secretly terrified because this would mean, "Science: It doesn't work, bitches!"

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  142. Modern physics is about throwing enough data at a theory until it sticks, and handwaving away what doesn't. It has not been interesting for decades.

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  143. cpt don't give randy ideas

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  144. Well that wasn't worth a read....I don't like reading jokes that are as unfunny as xkcd about how unfunny xkcd is.

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  145. Wow, what an original and ironic idea. Guys, check this out. This site complains about an unfunny comic, yet this site is itself unfunny! Holy shit, my mind is blown. 8:25 is a fucking genius.

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  146. Pretty sure God can go faster than the speed of light, so science has been wrong this whole time.

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  147. Guys, guys, there is a really important thing from the White House, a petition requesting the abolishment of the TSA: https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/abolish-tsa-and-use-its-monstrous-budget-fund-more-sophisticated-less-intrusive-counter-terrorism/c7L94bFB

    You might think that this isn't important, but this can actually help bring down Xkcd. By abolishing the TSA, future generations won't understand that stupid comic with the security check point and Viagra.

    Every little action that undermines Randy's well of jokes discredits him a little further, and the world becomes a better place.

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  148. discredit him? he was always in credit deficit anyway.
    idiot

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  149. Randy's feelings on underage sex:

    "If there's no grass on the field you might as well play in the mud."

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  150. Randy's feelings on football:
    "If there's no grass on the field you might as well play in the mud."

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  151. Randy's feelings on sperm:
    "Yes, please!"

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  152. Randy's feelings on xkcdsucks.
    "If there's no grass on the field you might as well...Oh, it's you guys, do you like my comic? I really like it, it's really good."
    He talks like this because he is a backwards manchild.

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  153. Neckbeard_24k's feelings on xkcdsucks:
    "guise guise i hav this awesome blog plz chk it out thumbs up rate subscribe comment its better then this sight n im rilly insiteful n giv relly gud revyoos plzzzzz"

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  154. Unanimous Anonymous opinion on gamer_2k4:
    "go back to twirling your shitty necbeard on your shitty blog with your shitty "criticism" and your shitty "readers", you neckbeard piece of shit"

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  155. The only one who fucks Rob is Rob. All the other douchebags can go fuck themselves. Oh yes, and Rob never was funny. He always had been that crazy little cunt who's angry about everything he doesn't understand. And that's an awful lot!

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  156. I was about to refer rob 11:29 to Rob'z Rantz "you just hate it because you don't understand it", but turns out there isn't such a rant!
    Get to it, fatball!

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  157. arse niggers to thee and thine and three and nine and maths! it's functional bastards!

    ReplyDelete
  158. ...aaaand the xkcdsucks hivemind is crazy! Yes?

    Captcha: graven. Probably a name for an emo band.

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  159. I just think it might be worth while to write your feeling down on a piece of paper, a T-shirt, or some one else's flesh, whatever works for you.

    It's all about you today.

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  160. "Grass on the field is fine and dandy, otherwise lure them with games and candy."

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  161. Rob what is your response to the rumors that your penis's radius is greater than its length?

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  162. For someone who doesn't like this webcomic, why do you spend so much time thinking/talking about it?

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  163. 10 minutes a day is "so much"?

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  164. Note how BHG subtly includes himself in the "we" of scientists, despite his character never having been indicated in any way to be a scientist. It seems that the theory that BHG is Randall's author stand-in may be 100% true.

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  165. Wait, we can write inane things and post them Anonymously? Let me try...

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  166. Dicksmash McIroncockSeptember 23, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    Hi, guys. I'd like to be a regular poster here. So I'm going to do that. Okay?

    ReplyDelete
  167. To paraphrase Akon:
    "Will he put a chin bar in an escalator and entertain me?
    Oh my god, he's doing it"
    Yes, I just paraphrased Akon, so sue me

    ReplyDelete
  168. #955:
    1. not funny (well...)
    2. randy is reading the news
    3. randy knows his minions well
    4. that's about it

    Next comic:
    falling satellite

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  169. my god, i had quite forgotten what the xkcd forums were like. i made the mistake of venturing into the Serious Business forum.

    it's tragic and fascinating to watch these "geeks" reason about things outside their technical expertise. the mechanisms of idiocy are truly universal.

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  170. 12:52, I've often concluded that the main problem with the world is a lack of hate. Love breeds self-centredness and apathy. If people thought less of themselves and the bad things around them it would drive them to change.

    captcha: pronityl. Ask your doctor about pronityl.

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  171. I do find it amusing that there is a few hundred comments arguing at each other for no logical reason, over something that has no sway or influence over anything of importance.

    But then again people often amaze me with their stupidity.

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  172. The forums are good for some facepalming lulz on 954.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Dicksmash McIroncockSeptember 24, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    The gentlemen at the forums are pretty much only there hoping to see naked pictures of each other, but none of them want to be the first to bring it up.

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  174. At the risk of judging a book by its cover, with a name like yours you'd be ideally positioned to be the first to do so.

    captcha: bureake. Like bukkake only as above.

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  175. Dicksmash McIroncockSeptember 24, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    I'd much rather see you guys naked.

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  176. not all of us are guys, be warned

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  177. @anon325: that is a filthy lie and you know it!

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  178. some of us are also filthy.

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  179. i haven't bathed in two years

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  180. Wow, it's like you phoned this one in. Even your "panel breakdown" is wrong, it was zooming in on the no-hat-guy's reaction, not BHG's "disappearing" which would make no sense.

    Otherwise, all you did was describe the panels in a barely sarcastic fashion.

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  181. Wow, it's like you phoned this one in. Even your "pointing out the "panel breakdown" is wrong" is wrong, it was jokingly pretending BHG has disappeared for humorous purposes, not honestly thinking he'd "disappeared" which would make no sense.

    Otherwise, all you did was describe the review in a barely sarcastic fashion.

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  182. Also: what fucking reaction? He doesn't have a fucking face.

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  183. anon you must be autistic if you didn't notice auteur randy's skillful use of body language. truly, he is a master of the male form

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  184. see how the lines indicate confusion and, uh, confoundment. philistines

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  185. A troll site containing trolls trolling trolls and generally having a good time doing so? I love it.

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  186. R. is actually correct, despite his facetiousness. XKCD stick figures are drawn pretty much spot on in terms of body language - like in panel 8 of this comic, you can tell the non-hat guy is looking back just by the slight backward position and slight non-spherical shape of the head that mimics a more traditional representation. Randy is really good at this minimalist style.

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  187. What does the fact he has no neck in panels 2 and 4 mean?

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  188. Or the gravitational lensing on the background dude's had in panel 3, lulz

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  189. ^ The retard means 'head'.

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  190. the single greatest thing randy has ever accomplished is convincing his fanboys that he is somehow capable of expressing depth and precise body language with his stick figure style. the proof, of course, is that when they look at it, they imagine something is going on, so it must be there

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  191. the greatest trick randy ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist

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