Sunday, September 11, 2011

Comics 948 and 949: Burning Randy

ai
948. Alt text: And they both react poorly to showers.
Randy is jealous of his loser tech friends who have the money and free time to go down to Burning Man, a festival (?) which is populated mostly by sad tech people desperately trying to prove to themselves and others that they are wacky and fun.

file transfer
949. Alt text: Every time you email a file to yourself so you can pull it up on your friend's laptop, Tim Berners-Lee sheds a single tear.
This one has all of Randy's favorite vices in it. Dialog that in no way resembles how a human talks--let's imagine the conversation if we could actually hear what the other person was saying.

Randy: He can email it to--
Fred: It's 25 MB.
Randy: Oh, it's 25 MB? Do either of you have an FTP server?
Fred: No.
Randy: No, right. Well, we could use dropbox--
Fred: Actually he just drove over to my house with a USB drive.
Randy: Oh, he just drove over to your house with a USB drive?


Brilliant! We've also got a wall of text accompanying a completely useless illustration. Thanks for drawing a dude on a phone, Randy! There's NO WAY we could have figured out what was going for otherwise, you paragon of sophistication, you.

Next, Randy seems to think that a 25MB attachment should be a problem for most email services--gmail, at least, has a 25MB limit. Maybe it's slightly above that limit in size, but it would be a lot more compelling if the file size was something that was somehow difficult to deal with. Similarly, his reason for avoiding MegaUpload-style sites is that they're full of porn popups. Randy has consistently demonstrated that he doesn't seem to know that adblock exists--making multiple comics whose original filenames get blocked by adblock, and now acting like porn popups are insurmountable. This is especially odd since Randy brought us this comic. Perhaps he's stopped using it since then? But speaking as someone who has sent and received a lot of files using such services: they work fine, especially if you're only sending one file. AIM file transfers are sometimes flaky but are hardly worth dismissing out of hand.

And of course we have the captioning-something-that-doesn't-need-a-caption, Randy's old trademark. "In case you didn't get it, this was an incredibly nuanced depiction of the problems with sending large files over the internet. I know you were wondering what it was about."

Oh, and I almost forgot the meaningless name-dropping in the alt text! The inventor of the World Wide Web definitely cries when you . . . use web-based email to store a file for easy access on other computers, I guess? Because it wasn't an explicitly intended purpose of the web, even though "storing something for easy access on other computers" seems like it's more or less the entire point of the web? And using something in a way which wasn't explicitly intended is a bad thing which makes its creators weep instead of a clever way to get around some of the problems technology presents?

You're supposed to like these workarounds, Randy.

110 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA I'M A MASSIVE DOUCHE

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  2. Good review, Rob. I lol'd.

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  3. Alright, so I'll be taking bets as to the subject matter of Monday's comic.
    Starting the pool at five thousand dino-dollars that 9/11/2001 comes up, and it's less funny than xkcancerd.
    (no bets, that's what it will be)

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  4. Historically the only serious xkcd is either "boo hoo i'm so alone and autistic in a quantum universe", "copyright is bad" or xkcancerd, and he probably wouldn't want to piss off people with a 9/11 "joke" (note the quotation marks, they're there because jokes should be funny guys LOL), so it probably would be just another unexceptional piece of shit. That's my bet.

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  5. 9/11 was a funny joke, your pathetic terrified response doubly so.

    Christ, they even chose 9-1-1.

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  6. rob you're both obese and a terrible writer, please kill yourself

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  7. This wsa a good review you cockmunching jewfaggot

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  8. Rob you didn't once mention 911 you filthy terrorist.

    captcha: range. Randy doesn't have it in any capacity of the word.

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  9. oh shit i forgot to never forget :(

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  10. 12:01 and 12:29 = samefag

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  11. I WANT ALL MY VIRGINS TO BE AS FAT AS ROBSeptember 11, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    9/11? Moar like 19 in heaven amirite?

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  12. Have some respect you fucking liberal arts pot head dildoes!!! Maybe we can't draw but we're ten times funnier than you cocks and we make BANK try doing that with your humanities degrees fuckwads

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  13. Rob, have you by any chance just lost your job? Your articles have become spectacularly better over the past week or so.. Not that I'm complaining, they've been worth reading

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  14. lol @ Anon 3.27 thinking Rob ever had a job

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  15. Knock knock.

    "Who's there?"

    9/11

    "9/11 who?"

    YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET

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  16. I would say @8:08 P.M. and @8:09 A.M. were a samefag, but I know I was 8:09, so he's just a lame ass-copycat.

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  17. he could have just zipped the file

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  18. New comic:
    Wikipedia Galore!
    Someone get randy a hooker.

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  19. Can I talk to someone smarter? Randy, I pine for you.

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  20. 950 is funny. It's not as if Randy actually believes Amelia Earhart is still flying. It's a JOKE.

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  21. There are tons of good ways to send files.
    Google Docs has a particularly nice interface. And if you've got a huge file and a slow connection, bittorrent clients are a very stable way to transfer it. You'd think randy would want to mention one of the many legal uses for bittorrent, but I guess he's grown out of his "free culture/anti-DRM" phase.

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  22. @ dodoman1

    Really? It's a joke? I had no idea. Were the other 949 comics jokes as well? I think I need to go back and re-read all of them. And Randall doesn't literally believe every single implication of every comic he makes? Wow. You just blew my mind.

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  23. I actually like both 948 and 950. 948 is a solid premise-setup-punchline based on a pretty funny recontextualization (computers can play chess and drive across the desert, but can't have a normal conversation... just like Burning Man attendees!). It's a little wordier than it needs to be, but not to the point that it ruins the joke. 950 successfully subverts the expectation that there will be some actual explanation of Amelia Earheart's disappearance. It's a rare example in xkcd of absurdity being done right, because it doesn't just present us with a context-free absurdity and expect us to laugh.

    949 is a pointless, awful pictoblag.

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  24. IRC's DCC's worked fine since the early '90s.

    Randall is such a noob.

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  25. Randall, you are not good at surreal humor. Or whatever the hell this is supposed to be.

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  26. goatkcd 949 is fantastic

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  27. The worst thing about 949 is, by far, the caption. Actually, it's the fact that IT'S A FUCKING HUGE WALL OF TEXT, and it STILL has a caption. Really: the joke was told, the message was delivered... so why is there a caption? Is Randall mentally impaired or something?

    The worst thing about 950 is, well, everything. Really, Randall? "Easy" explanations for age-long mysteries? You think THAT is funny and/or witty?

    And that dialogue? Who the hell points to a flying plane and goes "What's that airplane?"

    Ah, yes, Randy. I bet that, when he sees a black dog on the street, he points and says "What's that black dog?"

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  28. Is Randall mentally impaired or something?

    Randall is dealing with some serious personal problems right now and that would make anyone use a few too many words, why do you have to keep calling him out on it? =[ =[ =[ =[ =[ =[

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  29. 950 actually made me angry. That's pretty sad on my part, but still, fuck you Randall.

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  30. STFU, 8:09. You weren't first. 8:08 was.

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  31. Fuck you @6:34, you're not my real dad

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  32. I still fuck your mom though.

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  33. My Mom died in the 9/11 attacks.

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  34. That explains why we never talk during the sex anymore.

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  35. http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/09/12/672/

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  36. I called it! I fucking called it - 943 was his way of telling everyone he was getting married.

    Captcha: Cryga. The most powerful form of blubbing.

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  37. Cptnoremac, the blog tells us that Randall has been wed.

    Unless I am mistaken, this is an announcement of joy.

    Never again will he be forced to look for a mate.

    Though, we all die in the end.

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  38. Do you think... do you think they got married on 9/11? I imagine it was probably September 9, but you never know.

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  39. Do you know why he ensured his wedding anniversary date was so close to or maybe even on September 11? It's so he never forgets.

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  40. 950 actually made me angry. That's pretty sad on my part, but still, fuck you Randall.

    No, it was an awful, awful comic. I thought my review turned out pretty well, though.


    Staying on topic; do you think that Randall's new marriage will reduce the amount of creepy Megan comics?

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  41. Thanks, Raven

    So how many comics now are going to be about his quirky marriage life before he goes back to being bitter?

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  42. Probably only a few months. Eventually he'll get tired of it and have to untie her.

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  43. Depends. How many comics will it take for his fiancée to die of cancer?

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  44. Wife, I'm sorry. A LONG LIFE TO BOTH OF YOU!

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  45. Except, you know, the cancer.

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  46. Randall's a real romantic kinda guy though, so if she dies an early death he'll probably commit suicide to be buried alongside her. That's because he has a soul, unlike you callous twerps who joke about real people dealing with serious illness, almost seeming to derive actual joy from another's suffering.

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  47. schadenfreude ist die schoenste freude

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  48. 11:26 they can't help it, they don't have names

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  49. Dear Gamer_2k4,

    You have a blog. Cool. I hear it has some good stuff on it. I even read it once, and it's not bad.

    But when you plug it in every single comment you make, you look like a desperate little boy who wants to be noticed.

    You're not doing yourself any favours.

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  50. Actually, he's been pretty good about it. He hasn't linked to it in several comments.

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  51. "when you plug it"

    By "it" do you mean his fleshlight? Because that's not about to stop.

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  52. Yeah, someone called me on that, and I think I avoided the advertising for a couple of weeks.

    I just...really liked the review yesterday.

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  53. Guys I can never remember. Are newborn babies supposed to taste salty when you lick them, or is salty skin indicative of some sort of disorder?

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  54. That means he's going to grow up to be a homosexual. Just burn him now.

    Unless it's a girl.

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  55. I'm linking to bingo because it's only got 9 views so far. And I don't mind being like Gamer. They can't berate us if we both do it.

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  56. i relly fancy a girl but i danno how 2 ask her oout, wat do guise?

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  57. Take your dick out and put it on her desk. Look her straight in the eyes and ask her out.

    If she breaks eye contact even for a second to look at your dick, then she's a fucking faggot and you'd best forget all about her.

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  58. rite ok, but isnt it against the law to walk around with your john thomas out?

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  59. All's fair in love and war.


    Or so they say.

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  60. good advice gamer_2k4, aside from the fact you are a lonely review writing neck beard and never seen a woman, kindly fuck right off

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  61. You don't need to ask her out enlargedpenisstephan, rope and duct tape will suffice.

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  62. scott, rape is not legal
    in this country and
    that does not sit well with
    the stevey beagle.

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  63. You don't rape on the first kidnapping. You wait until at least the third. Show some fucking courtesy.

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  64. scott, you aren't funny. sorry mate.
    piss off.
    dont joke about rape
    i was almost raped once

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  65. First of all, if I want to joke about rape, I'll joke about rape. Second, it would have been more convincing had you said you're mother or sister was almost raped once. Third, I don't take moral lessons from someone who links to www.gaggingforbigdicksteven.com.

    Troll harder please, I know you can do better.

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  66. implying calling me a troll nullifies my distaste at you condoning rape.


    good game. saying 'he's a troll' is not a good come back. choke on your own legs.

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  67. That fact that your spelling and grammar changed so dramatically in only two posts is enough reason for me not to take you that seriously.

    My mother choked on her legs so fuck off OK?

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  68. So the only thing Steven has again rape is that it's not legal?

    Captcha: bootest. Thank goodness it's only a test.

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  69. the fact rape is illegal 'does not sit well with him', so he thinks rape should be legal

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  70. All sex with women is rape because women are too dumb to think and speak for themselves and can't form a rational opinion anyway.

    In Randall's world.

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  71. RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPESeptember 13, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    Ma lig nantne opla sm
    Sympathy I get when I write comics.
    Ma lig nantne opla sm
    I say those words so I can sell t-shirts.

    Get it up it's time to rape yeah.
    It's so much fun when she's helpless in bed.

    So we go
    Up up -- in Megan
    Move around and slap her cheeks together.
    Down down -- turn around
    Getting off is what it's all about.

    Ma lig nantne opla sm
    Science words I sing when I am raping.
    Ma lig nantne opla sm
    Cancer victims can't do anything.

    Get on up it's time to rape yeah.
    It's so much fun when she's helpless in bed.

    So we go
    Up up -- in Megan
    Move around and slap her cheeks together.
    Down down -- turn around
    Getting off is what it's all about.

    Ooohh
    One two -- me and you,
    Move around and slap her cheeks together.
    Three four -- on the floor,
    Getting off is what it's all about.

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  72. That didn't even rhyme.

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  73. Neither does the original, you philistine.

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  74. >implying this isn't 4chan

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  75. Scott, bigdicksteven made a good call on your sense of humor. If you were funny you would have cleverly one-upped bigdicksteven instead of saying "duh, troll harder." I ad libbed that "duh" because I'm willing to bet that's how your brain phrased it when it was telling you what to type.

    RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE, that's not funny because it needs more rude words.

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  76. noone cares about your opinion, 9:07

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  77. 951: Randall wants us to know he can do math.

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  78. Holy shit, 951 is such a steaming shitpile of a comic. How could that be possibly perceived as funny by anyone? I think this was really one of his worst.

    Basically, Randall is pointing out the concept that "time = money." I think that is about the least original thing that he could possibly write a comic about. And it's not like it was presented in a funny or remotely interesting way.

    Like seriously, the premise of the strip was "SOMETIMES YOU MUST MAKE A DECISION BETWEEN CONVENIENCE AND MONEY." Shit, Randall, how do you come up with these brilliant ideas? And then the alt-text! "SOMETIMES DRIVING SOMEWHERE TO SAVE MONEY IS NOT WORTH THE EXTRA GAS YOU SPEND DRIVING THERE!" ummm.... okay? That's something that anyone who's ever had to pay for their own gas can tell you.

    I think this is new to Randall because he doesn't normally drive, considering that he never needs to leave his house because he makes his living working 15 minutes a week, scrawling out shitty webcomics, scanning them, and posting them on the internet. Guess what, Randall? The rest of us have lives. We actually need to think about these things on a regular basis, not as a math game, but as a matter of real life financial decisions! Welcome to the real world, Randy!

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  79. And when he does drive, I bet it's always an automatic.

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  80. tru dat, 951 is beyond horrible

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  81. I have two words for 951. NO, REALLY?!?

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  82. Wait, let me guess; his wife asked why he was fueling up at a slightly more expensive station. Also, when's he going on a honeymoon? Maybe this shit will get better... or not.

    Captcha: THONEST. Thonestly.

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  83. One of the most annoying arguments I hear anywhere involves putting a dollar value on free time.

    You only have one life, dickbitches. You don't need to reduce each unit of time to an amount of money. If you're spending time doing what you think is right and positive then you're spending time well. If you subordinate yourself to an economic system (rather than using it as a tool where appropriate) then you might as well just kill yourself or become a soulless Asian or something.

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  84. Okay, Rob, I expect a huge amount of rage in your next review. A HUGE amount. Do not disappoint me or I will not come back here...

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  85. oh believe me
    these two suck more balls than a professional ball-sucker

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  86. Is Randall "I draw 3 comics a week and sell posters about them" Munroe insulting us plebs for attempting to save money?

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  87. randy has evolved beyond financial concerns

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  88. Guys, I dug up Mr Rogers' corpse and shat on his face.

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  89. Derp, you're a liar. I burned his corpse last year. Unless they buried someone else in that grave, you're a lying liar who lies.

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  90. I think the opposite, Scott, he is pointing out how people's attempts to save money can be counterproductive.

    However, this comic isn't supposed to be funny, it exists primarily for smug people to print out and hang on their doors.

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  91. Randall would be a lot more interesting if he were on drugs.

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  92. Randall would be a lot more interesting if he were cancer.

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  93. I can't believe he ripped off the observational joke of "whats with those people who drive out of the way to get cheaper gas?" If you are going to use unoriginal material, then at least rip off a joke that has gotten laughs. Its like he ripped a knock knock joke.

    Knock Knock.

    Who's There?

    Orange.

    Orange who?

    Orange you glad this comic isn't about cancer????

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  94. Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    9/11

    9/11 who?

    You said you'd never forget.

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  95. Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Girl scouts!

    *Rapes*

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