Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Comics 950 and 951: Around The World Of Terrible Comics

mystery solved
950. Alt text: The Roanoke Lost Colonists founded Roanoke, the Franklin Expedition reached the Pacific in 2009 when the Northwest Passage opened, and Jimmy Hoffa currently heads the Teamsters Union--he just started going by 'James'.

Every now and then Randy thinks that he is capable of producing humor of the absurd variety: wouldn't it just be WACKY if Amelia Erhart didn't get lost but was actually just flying around the world REALLY SLOWLY? Imagine how funny that would be! And then she'd come back and she'd be all "sup guys I made it" and people would be like "BUT YOU DISAPPEARED" and then because she's a woman she'd be like "lol you are male and therefore too dumb to even appear in the same panel as me! Maybe you should fetch a woman because women are way smarter than guys, whose primary purpose should be protecting ladies on the internet, AMIRITE?"

...I think that one got away from me a bit. The point is: lolrandumb humor is not funny, and it is even less so when Randy does it, because you can tell he's really trying to make it smart, even though it's still nothing more than lolrandumb. I hope this isn't a new trend, because these are extra annoying.

Also, special shout out to "what's that airplane?" as one of the dumbest things any human has ever written, ever.

working
951. Alt text: And if you drive a typical car more than a mile out of your way for each penny you save on the per-gallon price, it doesn't matter how worthless your time is to you--the gas to get you there and back costs more than you save.

Yet another comic in which Randy uses maths to prove that you're really dumb! How dumb are you? You're so dumb you think that saving money is worthwhile! Don't you know that spending less money is only worthwhile if it pays better than minimum wage? What, you mean you don't have a limitless supply of income from doing no work three times a week? What kind of chump are you?

Apparently in Randy's world, spending NINE WHOLE MINUTES going out of your way to save money is the dumbest thing you can do, because apparently every goddamned second of this life is precious and to spend it doing something like pumping gas is utterly demeaning! You could be out there writing about breast milk on Google + and making shitty chart comics about cancer for your webcomic! Life is too short to waste any time on saving money when you don't have to worry about saving money!

Listen, Randy, you worthless little condescending shit. Some people don't have the luxury of sitting on their ass all day to make a tidy income selling awful t-shirts and posters to awful people who want to identify themselves as fans of your awful comic so they can have awful conversations about your awful comic with your other awful fanboys. Some people "work for less than minimum wage" to save money because otherwise they would not be able to afford what they are buying in the first place--or buying it would make them unable to afford something else they want or need. Some people have to make tough financial decisions. (This to say nothing of the fact that a lot of individual savings--a dollar here, a dollar there--can really add up over time.)

And what kind of a stupid measure of worth-your-timeness is that, anyway? When you spend ten minutes to buy twenty dollars of groceries, you are paying sixty 120 [ha ha ha my bad -Ed.] dollars an hour for the privilege of eating!!! When you tip a dollar for the drink it took you a minute to get you are paying the bartender sixty dollars an hour!!! This is a fundamentally dishonest way of thinking about money, spending, and saving.

And just look at that fucking alt text. "No matter how worthless your time is to you"--as if that's the only reason for someone to spend a little extra time in order to save money. Because your time is worthless to you.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that Randy is using dubious math and dishonest statistics to prove that some useless aspect of his personality is actually desirable, but there you are.

205 comments:

  1. 6 * 20 = 120

    Rest of the review = Truth

    ReplyDelete
  2. this is boring. if only some asshat would come along and post links to his blog

    ReplyDelete
  3. "'No matter how worthless your time is to you'--as if that's the only reason for someone to spend a little extra time in order to save money. Because your time is worthless to you."

    Paying more for gas - now saving money.

    Randy is...right. That's sad. Don't make that true ever again, please.

    ReplyDelete
  4. randy isn't right, you just don't know how to read

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rob's just mad because he has to work to catch his food (i.e. the rest of the world).

    ReplyDelete
  6. it would be nice if you would just walk into my gaping maw

    ReplyDelete
  7. this rant could've been so much angrier, rob. so much hate-essence left untapped in that comic. that "because a penny saved is a penny earned" easily makes the smuggiest xkcd line in recent memory, and the alt text is smug about something anyone who has ever seen a car has taken for granted
    seriously fuck that xkcd mother fucker
    captcha: terfhyp
    ..i've got nothing. sorry

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anyone else ever had one of those awkward moments when your dad walks in on you when you've got a cucumber shoved halfway up your vagina?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Rob, did you know that by taking 10 minutes to write this review, you're actually working for less than minimum wage????

    captcha: cozon. Second or more, then bring 'er on!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You know what solves that problem, Randy? A bike.

    OH NOW ECONOMICS ISN'T PLEASANT IS IT

    SHOVE THAT HOLIER THAN THOU SHIT MOTHERFUCKER

    ReplyDelete
  11. maybe i should have gone into smug cyclist mode for this review

    ReplyDelete
  12. But then how would you convince us you aren't a hipster? You couldn't. You just couldn't.

    ReplyDelete
  13. i could bust out my teabagger bona fides

    ReplyDelete
  14. tea? sounds pretty fuckin' hipster to me.

    ReplyDelete
  15. and you sound like a half-breed muslin to me

    ReplyDelete
  16. Can you imagine Rob teabagging someone? Ignoring the impossibility of lifting his extreme girth high enough off the ground, there's the matter of that person having the oral capacity to fit his unforgiving testicles.

    I pray God may have mercy on the misfortunate soul to incur such torture.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This ties in to the same retarded forumites who liked 854 because they thought cooking for yourself was a waste of money (because, you know, you can spend $5 for dinner at McDonald's instead of spending 30 minutes cooking your own dinner). Dude, nobody is on the clock 24 hours a day. Spending a few minutes of your time off to save some money doesn't mean you're forgoing any wages. Stop making excuses for being an idiot man-child who's completely unable to take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Fuck, it turns out I masturbate for less than minimum wage.

    ReplyDelete
  19. "randy isn't right, you just don't know how to read"

    When you drive somewhere else, you burn gas. Do you know how internal combustion works?

    lern2reed

    ReplyDelete
  20. Rob wasn't talking about the entire point of the alt-text. He picked out specific words and addressed the ideology that would lead to such a choice of words.

    I bet Randall had an argument about gas prices with his wife on their honeymoon. I can just picture it.

    "NO honey, we are NOT going five minutes out of our way to save a little money. Time is more precious than minimum wage. Especially your time."

    He slept on the couch on his wedding night. It's very sad.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Where else would you sleep? You think his wife would actually SEX him?

    GOD no, not unless he's drugged her again.

    ReplyDelete
  22. 950 would be improved if the unnecessary last panel was cut.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Worst thing about 951 imo is that it states the obvious in such a plainly condescending manner. As if he expects that nobody else has thought this before.

    ReplyDelete
  24. "When you drive somewhere else, you burn gas. Do you know how internal combustion works?"

    at no point did i mention anything about randy's math w/r/t typical cars and driving a mile out of your way to save a penny, or dispute this point (though not having seen his math i couldn't comment on how good it is).

    i was addressing the point 10:05 mentioned--viz., that Randy is, in the alt text, espousing the belief that people who spend extra time to save money feel that their time is worthless, and furthermore that this is an incredibly privileged and offensive thing to say.

    but sure, if it makes you feel any better, ME NO KNOW HOW CAR WORK

    ReplyDelete
  25. guys, i masturbate for no money at all, that's worse than minimum wage, i'm a masturbation slave

    someone report me

    ReplyDelete
  26. rob why did you assume the person off-panel in the airplane one was a man

    thats sexist, women can make poorly constructed sentences and participate in wacky absurdist scenarios too!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. 11:32, a woman is a poorly constructed sentence imposed on us all.

    ReplyDelete
  28. nope, blog hasn't improved. oh well.

    ReplyDelete
  29. nope, xkcd hasn't improved. oh well.

    ReplyDelete
  30. To be fair most people wouldn't really be very receptive to the reverse of many waste-time save-money situations. IE: "do a thing for me that will take half an hour. I will give you 3 dollars for doing the thing"

    ReplyDelete
  31. Or, closer to most real life examples, the thing takes 10 minutes and you are paid 70 cents. rob i will give you 70 cents to shine my knob.



    the polish is over there by the door

    ReplyDelete
  32. the amelia areahrt one ... maybe he is on drugs...

    12:54 i would totally do something for a dude for 30 minutes ... not sayin' waht ... $3.00 is almost 4 tall boys of High Life

    ReplyDelete
  33. @12:54: If it's safe and I don't have something else arranged, I'll do it.

    tl;dr I'm rubbered up.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Shit, whenever I see an aeroplane I'm saying "WHAT'S THAT AEROPLANE?" That's fucking genius writing right there holy shit so succinct so clever.

    Imagine the answer to that question.
    "WHAT'S THAT AEROPLANE?"
    "It's a fucking aeroplane what do you think."

    Also, is it not strange that this guy is standing alone in an airfield talking to himself? And Earhart addresses him with "Hey everyone!"? And that he instantly recognises a super-old Amelia Earhart? And that Randy still makes money out of this shit?

    captcha: hydro
    shit thats an actual word

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm guessing Randall is busy with his new wife, which is why there are a few stylistic issues. What's your excuse? I'm gonna go ahead and assume everyone writing/commenting on this blog is single, because no one getting regular sex would be doing this.

    ReplyDelete
  36. That's exactly what I said to your mom last night.

    I said "you know, nobody getting regular sex would be doing this" then we both looked down in shame and embarrassment but proceeded to get each other off anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Such a cliched response, and at the level of maturity I would expect from people here.

    ReplyDelete
  38. >Such a cliched response, and at the level of maturity I would expect from people here.

    0/10, you gave away your playbook. You were doing alright with the first post, though.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Sam, are you like a fallen comet, gone to soon?

    Because you just got INTERRED.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow, Sam's sucking Randall's dick so hard that when we rape Randall, Sam gets butthurt.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Guys I have a new form of entertainment it's called a life WHY DO YOU GUYS SPEND SO MANY HOURS HERE YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIVES WHILE RANDY IS DOING HIS DAMNEDEST TO SURVIVE WITH HIS CANCER WIFE

    ReplyDelete
  42. You know who else had sycophantic fans who told people they needed to get a life when they made fun of him?

    Hitler.

    ReplyDelete
  43. CANCER WIFE! CANCER WIFE!
    LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA, CANCER WIFE!
    EVERYBODY WANTS A CANCER WIFE!
    EVERYBODY LOVES A CANCER WIFE!
    LA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA, LA LA LA
    LA LA LA LA LA, LA,
    CAAAN-CEEEER WIIIIIIIIIIFE!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I would be getting some lovin', but Righty got mad I forgot our anniversary.

    ReplyDelete
  45. hye guys, if our signifciant othrr is a comupter progarm that cuonts too, rihgt???

    ReplyDelete
  46. If I was out pumping gas and some random chick came up to me and heckled me about where I choose to buy my gas, I don't think I'd be spouting off Ben Franklin platitudes. Is she some sort of protester or something? I think her dialog was supposed to be on a handmade sign.

    WHY ARE YOU GOING HERE?
    GAS IS 10cents CHEAPER
    AT THE STATION 5 MINUTES THAT WAY!
    NO BLOOD FOR OIL!
    WAKE UP, AMERICA!

    ReplyDelete
  47. wwhy shrek is piss. why shrek is piss #italiano

    ReplyDelete
  48. If some chick told me about cheaper gas at another station, I would drive straight home, log onto the internet and post about the remarkable parallelism between XKCD and my life, and that therefore the situation in 951 was not contrived at all.

    After that, all you XKCD bashers would understand how stupid your criticisms really are, and become productive members of the XKCD community. Man, I can't fucking wait!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Haters gonna hate

    Pussies gonna puss

    ReplyDelete
  50. Seriously guys, do you ever step back and take a look at what you are doing here? I'll admit that the xkcd forums can be a little wince-inducing, but this place is like a cross between their worst aspects and 4chan. Singing about cancer wives? 'Raping' Randall? Do you really think he reads or cares about this place? And do you really think you would be doing this if you weren't single?

    ReplyDelete
  51. Sam, do you really think you would be doing this if you weren't single?

    ReplyDelete
  52. Yeah, Sam. Get the fuck off here and go find a girlfriend, you faggot.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I for one am not single, and I still visit this blog. Although I'm also female, so I don't know if that counts. Also, Sam, we all already know that Randall isn't reading this blog. He's said so, and we don't keep coming back because of him.

    ReplyDelete
  54. No, that doesn't count, because no female is single. Even fat, ugly ones have a long list of backup boyfriends at any given time.

    ReplyDelete
  55. @11:10's list of backup boyfriends:

    1. Cucumber
    2. Carrot
    3. Cell phone
    4. TV Remote
    5. Shower head
    6. Fingers

    ReplyDelete
  56. Vibrator would be at the top of the list there, but that's her current boyfriend.

    ReplyDelete
  57. My name was supposed to be 11:23, not 11:10. Whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I wouldn't be making my point if I was single, but I know what it's like and the stupid things you do to waste your time away.

    @11:10 - Do you comment here often, and do you comment in a manner similar to the 11:30s up there? I'm betting you don't.

    ReplyDelete
  59. I know who I was aiming for. I was aiming for her since she was trying to gain upvotes from the hopeless losers in the crowd who white knight any and all girls on the Web.

    ReplyDelete
  60. See, Sam, we know you're a loser who's single because you've actually posted more in this thread than any other single individual. Except maybe Rob, but you can't blame him for not getting up--there aren't enough legs in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Spoilers: It's not a much better review. It is in fact a dull, humorless, vapid review written by someone whose ego far outstrips their actual ability.

    Actually, that's not spoilers. Everyone knew that.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Jon Levi you impostering son of a gun...I was GOING to not do any more advertising, at least not for a week or two.

    Oh well.

    ReplyDelete
  63. What everyone has long since concluded(and that even includes Carl!), O Gamer of the year two thousand and four, is that reviews of xkcd have become pointless and basically a fucking drag somewhere around #700 or so.
    The art sucks. The lines sound unnatural. Floating heads. Megan. Pandering. Grade school science. Post Punchline Dialog Syndrome. Add a dash of cancer and two cups of Randall's hot porn star daughter Crystal's sweet sweet breast milk, and you have basically every xkcd review ever written. There's no point to writing six paragraphs for every new comic and repeating the exact same thing all over agin 944 times, you aspergeroid dumbfuck.
    Carl realized this, that's why he quit. Rob realizes this too, that's why he keeps posting shitty one-liner reviews-with the same flaws present in every xkcd strip, any further elaboration is superfluous, a waste of everyone's time. The reviews here only set the groung for the blog's sole reason for existing in the last year or so: the comment threads! Where the the glittering diamonds of hate keep glittering, where the titty milk keeps flowing, where, unlike Megan's bosom, there's no such thing as too much cancer. An active hateblog community, which has no reason so much as to glimpse toward your pathetic, aspergerian waste of time. What do you hope for, everyone going "OH HEY THAT DUDE'S RIGHT, XKCD'S ART REALLY IS PRETTY BAD AND, COME TO THINK OF IT, THE JOKES ARE SOMEWHAT STALE!"? Critique of xkcd has become superfluous three years ago dude, now there's only hate. Move the fuck on already.
    tl;dr shut the fuck up about your aspergerian, unnecessary, retarded fucking waste-of-time blog that no one will ever read.
    ps. shave that fucking neckbeard already you ugly fuck

    ReplyDelete
  64. @anon 1:06

    You are one sexy dude.

    ReplyDelete
  65. rob it's only dumb if you hadn't realized the fact without randy's help. your not too brite

    ReplyDelete
  66. I fully support Gamer's efforts. Guy wants to write reviews, he should write reviews.

    ReplyDelete
  67. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Note: The following is a glimpse into the life of Randall Munroe. It was deleted and reposted to correct an error that threatened its historical accuracy.

    Randall grunted in ecstasy as his eyes darted across a radical feminist blog, eyes drinking in each word. The fingers of his right hand flew up and down the length of his shaft, keeping pace with a machine like consistency.

    "Fuck the patriarchy" he mumbled as his head rolled back. "Fuck it hard. I won't let it ruin another woman's life. I'll tell them they're empowered."

    A sudden wave of pleasure rolled across his body as his seed erupted outward. His mind experienced a moment of clarity in which he considered going back to school, or applying for a proper job. But the thought brought with it a fear of the future he preferred not to feel, so he rationalized it away as smart people so often do.

    As he stared transfixed at the semen now splashed across his bare feet, he asked himself where the next generation of women would be without his comic. How would little girls feel about themselves if he stopped spreading the gospel of female superiority? The momentary doubt vanished with these questions. He knew if anything he needed to redouble his efforts.

    He closed his web browser, lifted his stylus and let it hover over his graphics tablet. He remained like this for several minutes as he decided how best to communicate the glory of femininity. An idea came to him, and he joined 5 lines and circle to create a human being. As he added long hair onto the figure, a simple act but one that bestowed perfection, he felt himself stiffen once again.

    As the stylus in his right hand gave a clever voice to the woman on his laptop screen (he thought of her as Megan, though he wouldn't name her in the strip) his left teased the end of penis. It would be awhile before he was ready to come again, but that was for the best. Randall liked challenge to himself to finish a comic before ejaculation, but too often ended up publishing them unfinished when he couldn’t last.

    “Can’t let that happen this time” said Randall not realizing he was voicing the thought. “Not this time.”

    The End.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Randall liked challenge to himself to finish a comic before ejaculation, but too often ended up publishing them unfinished when he couldn’t last.

    That explains so much...

    ReplyDelete
  70. Was Mr. Hat about to say "stud finder finder"? Because that's not a funny joke. Not at all.

    ReplyDelete
  71. i'm pretty sure he was going to say ass vibrator

    ReplyDelete
  72. "You need to find studs? Look no further".

    ....or was that just me thinking that...

    ReplyDelete
  73. I just knock on the walls--like a real handy-man.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Also, Randy must really suck at using stud finders.

    ReplyDelete
  75. XKCD Fan, 5 lines?

    Also, as a dyed-in-the-wool Internet foot fetishist I am made limp by thought of crusty semen on Randall's toes. Not even the thought of Megan in cute little fuck-me ballerina flats is restoring my vigoor. A hearty up yours, Sir, a hearty up yours.

    ReplyDelete
  76. You were dyed in the wool, now you've died in the pull.

    ReplyDelete
  77. @ 10:47

    Four limbs and a body. I didn't major in math, but it seems like 5 to me.

    Sorry about messing with your fetish, but I certainly didn't intent to imply the semen dried on to his toes. Here's a canonical afterward to help alleviate your concerns: "Before any of the semen on his feet dried, Randall wiped them clean with a sweat stained sock."

    Problem solved.

    ReplyDelete
  78. @XKCD Fan, although Randy often seems to draw arms hanging listlessly down and adds unnecessary joints, he might as well plot a single line segment to represent them both. I hesitate to suggest that he merge one or more legs with each other or the torso because his strips are primarily sexual and the orientation of legs is paramount to communicating the message.

    Thank you for the update. I'll assume the sweat stained sock belongs to Megan, discarded after hunting errant windmills in La Mancha, and that he's dirtying it to satisfy his lust.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Hm, reviewing a few comics...

    Legs asymmetric, standing and leaning forward/up: trying something complex;
    Legs asymmetric, standing and leaning downward: disappointment;
    Legs wide apart: Randy so proud of his punchline he's got to be sporting wood;
    Legs symmetric, standing: meaningless filler;
    Legs sitting: smugness;
    Legs missing entirely (zoom on upper torso): presenting some insightful and completely hilarious in-joke.

    You may be on to something, 11:23.

    ReplyDelete
  80. hahaha, a stud finder finder, that black hat guy is so wacky

    ReplyDelete
  81. Ha! Maybe all next week, stick guy can lose progressively more meta devices!

    By Friday, he'll need a stud finder finder finder finder finder finder finder, and you'll all be laughing...

    Personally, I like to keep a 2x4 under my desk. Then, when people are using stud finders, I get to say, "there's one right here." Then I pull out the 2x4. Then I smack him with the 2x4 so he can do math, because first, you have to get his attention.

    ReplyDelete
  82. i thought he was going to say "dud finder"

    also black hat guy is ruined some more

    ReplyDelete
  83. I assumed it was a gay joke, that black hat guy was going to help him find a 'stud'.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Guys, guys, I just dug up Mother Teresa's corpse and took a big, steamy shit on her face.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Moar like admiral rimjob, amirite?

    ReplyDelete
  86. Hey guys, let's say that, hypothetically, somebody I know, through a bizarre turn of events that was at least partially his fault, got most of his tongue cut out. And let's say I have something of a beef with this person. How funny/mean would it be to post this on his Facebook page:

    "Hope this has taught you to hold your tongue"

    And any or all of the following, in no particular order, in response to the inevitable rage:

    "Whoops, looks like I really put my foot in my mouth there.

    (Better a foot than a knife though)."

    "A slip of the tongue, I swear."

    "I'm sorry, that joke was in bad taste."

    [Sincere-sounding apology followed by a :P smiley]

    And if there's a lull in responses:

    "Cat got your tongue?"

    ReplyDelete
  87. I saw this as Randy finally coming to terms with how completely fucking insufferable he's made Black Hat Dude over the years. Who knows? It could be the start of a long introspective character ar- oh who the fuck am I kidding he's just going to have BHD screw with this dude in some ludicrously contrived manner and all of his internet followchums are going to laugh their wastecushions off and say "I wish I could do that to people who don't appreciate the full scale of my incredible wit and charm and bravado and self-fellatio, GOOMH!"

    So yeah, I give this one an A+.

    ReplyDelete
  88. @9:09
    I'm glad I have my tongue thank your for brightening my day.

    ReplyDelete
  89. 9:09, if he was a person that willfully put himself in front of the public, like Randall, then who cares? You put yourself into the public in that way, the public has a right to say whatever they want about you, as long as it isn't libelous or threatening.

    There's a rather large difference in haranguing a public figure and haranguing a private individual.

    ReplyDelete
  90. huy geys.
    my friend keeps telling me that a girl is checking me out all the time at skool. today i noticed she starin at me.
    i noticed too she sits alone in lunch break
    wat do you think? she crazy or shuld i go 4 it??????

    love randall

    ps, pornstar daughters and i love sucking boobs and drinking milk

    ReplyDelete
  91. Oh my God... that second one is basically Pluggers, except from a condescending perspective. Have you really stooped this low, xkcd?

    ReplyDelete
  92. @9:53 He wasn't asking about legal implications. There's more to society than its enforced rules, you asperging sociopath.

    ReplyDelete
  93. You guys are gonna love this.

    Some more white knighting from Randall's Google+.

    ReplyDelete
  94. It's comforting to see a bunch of comments essentially saying, "Lighten the heck up, Randall."

    ReplyDelete
  95. "Society is beyond me."
    -Randall Munroe

    THAT IS ALL

    ReplyDelete
  96. someone should write a review of that google+ shitpost
    time to redeem yourself, neckbeard
    you can have a go at it too, rob

    ReplyDelete
  97. I think he mean's below him. Because Randall has elevated above society to see what inferior specimens we are. It goes:

    Randall Munroe



    All women
    Male Engineers
    Male Physicist
    All male BSc and and geeks
    Artificial Intelligences
    Male B.A.
    Jocks
    All women who will sleep with him

    ReplyDelete
  98. I'd say he needs to lighten up too, but then I scanned the comments and saw that pretty much all the people who were female or knew somebody with breast cancer is in agreement, so maybe he's right. Or maybe his followers are just the type to be too self-absorbed to enjoy humor that infringes on their own lives, but I dunno.

    So now all I'll say is that he needs to get the fuck off his soapbox, because no matter how much he thinks he's empowering cancer sufferers his own comics about breast cancer are not the least bit tactful.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Final gas comment: The money you make off the clock by wasting 5 minutes to save $3 is not taxed as income or capital gains. Therefore, it's worth about 30% more than its face value, so more like 4 whole dollars than 3. And you're living by your wits and working under the table, too! The part about driving far enough out of your way to negate the savings I assumed was a product of carelessness or incipient mental illness.

    ReplyDelete
  100. i wasn't talking about the legal implications

    ReplyDelete
  101. Here's the problem with the Xkcd sucks blog, starting from the time when a new blog post is up:

    There's just boring, idle conversation in the beginning. I tend to scan these first few comments.

    There are some snide remarks that point out exactly why the general idea presented in the comic is wrong (here, Randy misunderstands economics and its effects on the normal man who actually works for a fucking living).

    The thread reaches the climax (like Randy when thinking about cancer nipples, amirite?) and we move from calling it out for its stupidity to calling Randy out for his stupidity, and it evolves to pure hate comments. This is when the comments are at their best, and I enjoy them the most.

    Then it all goes to shit the instant someone trolls and tells us we're wasting our time, or "Yeah, you go enjoy not having a girlfriend. You jelly of Randy?" and then people start feeding the trolls. This is the least interesting part of the comment thread. People have very long, dull arguments with the troll/Xkcd fan.

    Then the next comic gets posted and people begin talking about THAT. I do not read these comments at all, for they are always lame and made superfluous by the first few comments in the next blog post.

    tl;dr WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE RANDY ALONE HE'S TRYING HIS HARDEST TO GET THROUGH DAY TO DAY WITH HIS CANCER LIFE

    ReplyDelete
  102. WIFE I MEAN CANCER WIFE

    ReplyDelete
  103. That's not arguing with trolls and fans, that's what passes for banter in this sewer. Get off your high horse and start saying offensive things about cancer.

    ReplyDelete
  104. ALTF made these threads worthwhile :(

    ReplyDelete
  105. @5:39 = ALTF

    ALSO ALTF = CANCER

    ReplyDelete
  106. Seriously now, though, I do hope she is dead.

    ReplyDelete
  107. To Randy's credit here, I'm pretty sure this was the funniest comic I've read in quite a while. (not saying to much) But ONLY because of the first panel, (as a whole it was shit) I mean what Rob said, "lolrandumb humor is not funny" except the first panel was lolanddumb humor at it's best... and it was funny.

    ReplyDelete
  108. ran onny mous wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    ReplyDelete
  109. the new one is like 1980's Mac ads without the wit.

    ReplyDelete
  110. @5:30: I think the worst posts of all are meta-posts which summarise/discuss the evolution of other posts. Troll baiting and feeding are staples of Internet life, but feeling the need to engage in Internet Anthropology requires a special sort of ego.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I'm just trying to make this blog a better place. For me.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Randall is just trying to make a good web comic.

    No, I lied, at least you are trying.

    ReplyDelete
  113. So wasn't the season premiere of my little pony awesome?

    ReplyDelete
  114. For those who actually get paid for overtime (or hourly in general), this does make sense. But it is also pretty obvious. Don't screw around with traffic or the extra time -- just pull into the nearest station that doesn't have a tanker parked there. Get it over with and move on. The fact that they're all competing with one another means that the prices aren't really all THAT different within the distances Randy mentions. Also, I need a bigger gas tank. That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  115. I wouldn't go an extra two miles to save a few cents, but I'd gladly drive across town to get gas without ethanol in it.

    ReplyDelete
  116. You have stations like that? All the ones around here are at least 10% ethanol.

    ReplyDelete
  117. I thought every station in the US was mandated to be at least 10% ethanol. YAY CORN LOBBY

    ReplyDelete
  118. Surely for you grubby americans this comic is irrelevent as you pay FUCK ALL to fill your cars and you don't even realise it.

    Although it balances out as you never walk anywhere. Fat americans.

    Har Har Har

    ReplyDelete
  119. According to this I pay $8.3/gallon. I guess this is a lot?

    ReplyDelete
  120. I think it depends on the state. Where I am, most have ethanol, but a select few don't.

    I think Missouri has to have it at all of them, which is one reason I changed my mind about moving there. Also they make you wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle.

    ReplyDelete
  121. cptnoremac cares about ethanol in his petrol for the same reason he doesn't need to wear a helmet.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Almost all gas sold in the country has ethanol in it. They don't have to label it as such until it has 10% ethanol, so most gas which doesn't that have that label will have about 9% or so.

    ReplyDelete
  123. The ones I'm talking about specifically label it 100% gas.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Do you have anything personal against the xkcd guy?

    You really take his comic strip SO SERIOUSLY.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Someone whose first language is English and is not on the autism spectrum - and really, maybe most people on most of the spectrum with reasonable amounts of therapy and education and even some socialization - would have written something like "Whoa! What kind of plane is that?" in the first panel.

    - marion d

    ReplyDelete
  126. It is one thing to criticize and attack somebody's work according to your own opinions and beliefs, saying why it sucks, how it could have been better, etc.

    But when you go so far as to say "Listen, Randy, you worthless little condescending shit"... that is, really, too much. I don't know why you feel the need of attacking someone personally just because you don't like his work, and even then, to use those words. Therefore my question, because you honestly seem too angry and bitter to be just the self-appointed, holier-than-thou critic of a webcomic.

    And all that was before that preposterous claim you just made.

    Some subjects go beyond sarcasm and cannot be possibly perceived as such. And accusing somebody of rape... I think that qualifies as libel. So I strongly suggest you to erase those awful words you wrote and to apologize before someone reports you. Simply put, you really have no right to attack others' reputation that way.

    ReplyDelete
  127. SGirl, go chug a cum smoothie. You're boring as shit and you're hardly capable of even eliciting an emotion from anyone other than slight annoyance at having to skip over your wall of text.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Anonymous:

    Accusing me of that is ridiculous and only shows that you have nothing that remotely looks like an argument. Well, being this blog, that's no surprise. But you're just attacking a nick on a blog. The owner of this blog is accusing an actual, identifiable person of rape. Are you able to see the difference, and how serious that is?

    That's what she (cool nick, btw):

    Why am I boring, exactly? I am just questioning the terrible accusation that someone here made. Also, if having to skip over my wall of text causes you a slight annoyance, what do you feel when you see someone publicly accused of rape?

    Rob...

    Seriously, stop doing that. Nobody has the right of slandering others like that. You crossed a line. It is not funny (you should know), it is aggressive, damaging... and obviously much, much worse than anything the xkcd guy has ever done in his webcomic, and for which he is criticized mercilessly here.

    ReplyDelete
  129. neither i nor my daughter appreciate you calling me a liar

    ReplyDelete
  130. SGirl people like you are the reason most rapes go unreported, thanks a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  131. One second every person who comments on this blog is indignant at Randall Munroe making jokes about some subject that is very serious for you. You all are so sensitive and he is a "worthless little condescending shit", no less, for making jokes about it.

    Then the next second it is OK to make (awfully lame) jokes about rape, and you all participate. How is that possible? Grow some coherence, please.

    If one xkcd strip had mentioned the subject, you'd be crucifying its author because of it.

    Rob, it is not quite harmless, really. Don't pretend you're fooling yourself. This is serious.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Dubious math? The alt text is correct. XKCD is for people who UNDERSTAND math. Silly liberal arts majors.

    ReplyDelete
  133. any math in which you do not actually provide the numbers you're using is inherently dubious.

    ReplyDelete
  134. So algebra, advanced mathematics, mathematical proofs, and physics equations. Your critiques of XKCD would be much better if you understood math.

    ReplyDelete
  135. whatever helps you sleep at night, bucko

    ReplyDelete
  136. You are reading into way too much into #950. The person off panel is not identified as male or female, and you are only projecting your own gender insecurities in your critique.

    ReplyDelete
  137. heh, okay, sure, I'm "insecure" about my gender. that's why I think Randy's creepy white-knighting is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Be fair, Anon 3.55. You would be insecure about your gender too if your cock were as tiny as Rob's.

    ReplyDelete
  139. What Randy relates to Ricardo's law of comparitive advantage:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparative_advantage

    The implication being that Randy's time is way to precious to spend ... erm, maybe you are right.

    He's showing off just how valuable his time is.

    ReplyDelete
  140. "Rob said...
    it's not a joke if it's true
    September 18, 2011 6:14 PM"

    Please explain what makes you think you have the right to defame somebody just because you own a blog. This is not a joke, it is a public accusation of rape against an identifiable person.

    ReplyDelete
  141. yes, it is not a joke because it actually happened
    not sure why you aren't getting this

    ReplyDelete
  142. Was that reported to the police? Was there a public conviction? Is there any way to verify those claims?

    You're just digging deeper and deeper in the muddy hole of libel and slandering.

    ReplyDelete
  143. You accused publicly the xkcd creator of rape.

    Shouldn't you be the one to prove that?

    And I mean really prove it, not just repeating the same thing over and over again, as you did last time you were trying to prove something.

    ReplyDelete
  144. i have never tried to prove anything

    ReplyDelete
  145. And yet you keep on accusing him of rape.

    ReplyDelete
  146. well done for spotting that one, i wasn't sure if you'd noticed.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Is this a joke for you? You don't think a public accusation of rape is even a bit serious?

    ReplyDelete
  148. i'll give you three guesses
    the first two don't count

    ReplyDelete
  149. Easy for you to publicly slander someone's name and then act as if it were so funny.

    ReplyDelete
  150. the best part is you still don't get the point
    not that you're ever likely to, given that you appear to be dumber than a box of hair, but it still tickles me

    ReplyDelete
  151. OK, then please tell me what the point is.

    ReplyDelete
  152. why would I do that when I just said that the best part is you not getting it?

    ReplyDelete
  153. You have no point. And mine is simple: having a blog does not give you the right to slander someone. Whatever you have against him or his webcomic, your continuous rape accusations are totally uncalled for and are not harmless.

    You could have retreated after the first time, yet you keep on doing it, as if it was a good joke. Easy to do so from anonymity.

    ReplyDelete
  154. That as well.

    And as I said before, one second Randall Munroe is a "worthless little condescending shit" because he dares to make jokes about some subject that is very serious for you, and the next one you use rape as a joke. Please.

    ReplyDelete
  155. why is it you think anything at all is serious to me?

    ReplyDelete
  156. Are you saying now that your rape accusations were a joke?

    ReplyDelete
  157. whatever helps you sleep at night, sugar

    ReplyDelete
  158. Why can't you answer a simple, direct question?

    This is how your public accusation of rape against Randall Munroe started: I asked you why did you take a comic strip so seriously and you came up with that. Now I am simply asking you if that was a joke and you won't answer.

    So... was the whole "he raped my daughter" thing a joke?

    ReplyDelete
  159. "Why can't you answer a simple, direct question?"

    because it amuses me

    ReplyDelete
  160. So you mention your daughter was raped, and when somebody asks about it...

    ...it amuses you.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Why does it amuse you?

    ReplyDelete
  162. because you are really, really dumb

    ReplyDelete
  163. Am I dumb because I don't see the humor on your insistent claims about rape?

    ReplyDelete
  164. no, you're dumb because you have demonstrated a profound lack of ability to understand anything, at all.

    ReplyDelete
  165. The only thing I fail to understand is why you publicly slander someone, and what makes you think you have that right.

    ReplyDelete
  166. well, you also don't understand all the other things you don't understand. you seem to be laboring under the delusion that I or anyone here somehow cares about your opinion

    ReplyDelete
  167. It goes way beyond my opinion... libel and slander are a legal matter.

    ReplyDelete
  168. **sighs**

    Again: it does not depend on my opinion. They are.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Check the law, Rob. Come on.

    It is also the second time you use "prove it" when you should be the one to prove your rape accusation. Why don't you prove it?

    ReplyDelete
  170. i'm quite familiar with defamation law; you appear to have never so much as glanced at it. in this country the burden of proof is on the accuser. you are accusing me of "libel and slander." so prove it.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Rob, given that SGirl has no idea how US law (and a lot of other things) work your assuming that she's from the US kinda seems unfounded. Give her the benefit of the doubt, she could live in some horrible police state where rape victims are executed if they can't prove it.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Rob,

    You're the one who should prove your rape accusation. So prove it.

    ReplyDelete
  173. we've already established i don't care what you think. why would i waste my time proving something to someone i don't care about?

    ReplyDelete
  174. First, why do you ask me to prove something if you're going to use such a preposterous argument? I could also say "Duh, I don't care what you think, so I don't have to prove anything to you" and that would be it.

    So you know that your answer is a very ridiculous thing to say.

    This is not about me. Your accusation is public. Whether you don't care about my opinion or not is irrelevant.

    So, again: why don't you prove your public accusation of rape against Randall Munroe?

    ReplyDelete
  175. because you're the only one asking and I don't care what you have to say? we've been over this. the accusation has nothing to do with you, and whether or not you believe it doesn't change anything. the question is a red herring anyway, intended to distract from your complete ignorance w/r/t defamation law.

    on the other hand, you are leveling an accusation directly against me, and you seem to think that I should believe what you have to say. I do not. since you seem to think that your words, if I believed them, would shut me up, it's really in the best interests of your sad little case to prove that there is some merit to your accusation.

    ReplyDelete