Comic 907: Poorly Aged

[This time Swedish political advocate and monarchist "The Pirate King" actually sent a review that didn't make my computer commit suicide. Here it is. -Ed.]



Hoorah, a one-dimensional graph comic! Isn't that just the most exciting and humorous type of graph there is? I feel so deprived, having to go eight comics without one.

Now let's talk about the content, or more importantly, the statements Randy is making and what they say about him.

First off, he says anyone from zero to like... three? is non-sentient. Now I'm no pro-lifer, but that is a pretty creepy thing to say. He is basically equating three year olds to slime molds. I know maybe he's trying to be all dismissive and dark, or whatever, but it is disturbing to me. I remember taking a psychology class (not nearly as "pure" as Randy's physics, of course!) and being amazed at the amount of definable developmental landmarks that occur in the first few years. But nope, disregard all of that, "non sentient". I just hope he's not serious, because if he is, I'm guessing he'll go on some sort of baby-eating rampage. Rather than getting comics about Megan's tender nipples, we'll get ever-more disturbing comics about the moist, succulent flesh of infants. And I'm sure his fans will GOOMHR like never before.

Next he breezes through childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, nothing really out of the ordinary there except the assumption that everyone gets drunk at college (which is probably all randy did).

And then, apparently, according to this graph, Randy JUST learned that relationships are hard, like a year ago. I suppose that explains a lot, but I don't really like being generalized into having the same dysfunction as Randy. He did this in the last comic too, as Gamer_24k pointed out.

So we move on through adulthood into middle age, Randy makes hackneyed references to stereotypes about these age groups, and we get to old age. Apparently, old people get all the sex.

I'm getting this picture in my mind... a teenage Randall, saying to himself "when I'm in my twenties, then, then I'll get all the sex!" And then a barely adult Randall saying to himself "when I'm 20, then, then I'll get all the sex!" And then he just skips over about thirty to fifty years and decides it must be when you're really old that you get to have a lot of sex.

This is a sad, sad story, but not one that we should be surprised by.

That's all I have to say about this comic. Just watch the headlines: "Disgruntled webcomic artist Randall Munroe arrested for the murder of 12 infants!" You'll see.