Monday, May 9, 2011

Comic 896: I Will Shamble Across The Land, Pandering Far And Wide

[Hated carrion fowl "Ravenzomg" sent me this review, apparently. -Ed.]

Hello everyone, this is Ravenzomg of Ravenzomg fame here with a very special review for 896!


Title: Marie Curie. Tooltip: although not permanently

Now then, first thing's first: it's a wall of text filled with random "goomh Randall!" references to famous female scientists/mathematicians. The ungenerous will call it "white-knighting". But no -- this is just pandering. He's not proclaiming the world we live in as a product of both women and men in science, no no.... he's dropping names, he's dropping them hard, and people will fall for it. "Goomh, Randall, my heroine in Science is ____" etcetera etcetera!

Now, to burn some negativity, a positive point: The tooltip is an independent "bonus" joke, that does not "make" the comic, but simply adds a little flourish. It's trite and expected, but it is half-entertaining at the least. So points!

Now, once he brought up "Zombie Marie Curie", I just kept thinking, When is he going to point out that her work killed her. When is it coming. When is it-- oh.

Positive point number 2: The "punchline" is at the end. Tarnished by the classic case of Post-Punchline Dialogue "I'll try", but that is succinct enough to be forgiven.

Now then, the negatives [again]. It seems like Randall wanted to drop a bunch of names tell us how awesome women are in science. So he made this huge blogtastic post, and scribbled on the premise of "Zombie Madame Curie" because he wanted to make it a joke.

We've been here before -- you don't HAVE to add a joke to everything, Randall! At the very least, I found some of these [predictable] anecdotes to be interesting. But as it stands, it's like you crashed a half-interesting series of stories into a half-formed joke that, really, everyone has thought of once Madame Curie is brought up.

Just... goddamn. The problem here is the final product. It's like a meal gone bad, where the contents sounded delicious but you just did the measurements all wrong, left it in the oven too long, and forgot to wash your plates so now it's all just gross, burnt, and awful. But there was some potential hidden in there!

Anyways, the moral of this is that he needs an editor more than ever. Luckily, the fine people at Microsoft are one step ahead of us, so I turn the floor over to Clippy.

Everyone give a round of applause for our special guest!

176 comments:

  1. "I don't hate women, honest! See, I like Marie Curie!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. The thing that pisses me off most about this is I'm being lectured by a middle aged white man on sexism- and like his "zombie feynmann" bullshit; he's fingerpuppeting famous people to give his words more weight than it really deserves.

    I mean, if this was just Randall here, who is as much an authority on Science and Science Culture as David Tennant then it would seem disingenuous, but the minute he skins the corpse of his idols and wears their flesh like a jumpsuit all his fans take it for granted he is perfectly impersonating these people in a modern context.

    "Oh look it's Zombie Einstein!"
    "go suck a dick, Monroe"

    see I can do it too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The moral of the comic is if women dabble in science, you end up with irradiated zombies everywhere. So they should stay in the goddamn kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Trolololol! Some good ole' flame war bait

    ReplyDelete
  5. really preachy comic, too

    ReplyDelete
  6. In this comic, Randall makes two mistakes:

    (1) He lists famous female scientists in order to attempt to get sex from mythical college feminists who are suckers for compliments from strong men. It's like those "lists of African-American inventions".

    In making such a comparison, women or blacks are patronisingly taught that they should categorise themselves according to gender or skin colour and restrict their paths those those trodden by others with similar traits.

    How many white men say, "Let me look at what other white men have done to see what I can do"? No, they say, "let me look at what other people have done".

    A potential female scientist who wishes to see what she can do needs only to look at other scientists. Not specifically at female scientists.

    (2) "You become great by wanting to do something, and then doing it so hard". This is typical egalitarian motivational poster bull. You become great by a combination of good talent, good fortune and hard work. But only in a comic superhero world does anything come down to "wanting to do something".

    To reiterate, the world isn't fair and nothing great is achieved by hard work alone. If you haven't learnt this by the last year of your teens, you're either extremely fortunate and sheltered and can succeed while blissfully unaware of the real world, or you're in for a life of bitter disappointment.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was really hoping that Zombie Marie Curie would eat the student's brains. Oh, well.

    GOOMHZMC!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I keep pressing "Burn everything. Start from scratch"

    WHY WON'T IT WORK

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous 3:02, you are retarded.

    The reason white men don't say "look at what all the other white men have done!" is because white men get credit for everything. If someone accomplishes something, it's automatically assumed they are a white man. For example, Robert Creeley is famous for writing fantastic poetry, while Langston Hughes is famous for being a black poet. Furthermore, as Randal points out in this comic, you can be an extremely successful female scientist and not get any credit/be remembered because of the simple fact that you're a woman.

    In short, Shut the Fuck Up, your post is bad and you should feel bad.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jesus Sarge, all Anon 3:02 said was that it was a "really preachy comic". You people, always overreacting at the slightest thing...

    But in regards to the argument you're actually trying to make; it seems to be exactly the same as the one made by Anon 3:43. Basically you're both saying it's flawed to recognize someone for "doing something well and being a certain race/gender", rather than just recognizing them for doing something well.

    Am I right, or are you wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Sarge I think you are agreeing vehemently: i.e. you dislike Randall's comic because he pushes the fallacy that a woman should not feel alone because Other Female Scientists Exist, when in fact it is sufficient that Other Scientists Exist. I had a schoolfriend with only one working eye and he didn't work himself into a frenzy because of the lack of known one-eyed computer scientists to which he could relate: he understood that it was irrelevant.

    Whether female scientists are remembered or not is a red herring. Historically there have been far fewer female scientists so picking a random famous scientist is likely to lead to picking of a male. For every female scientist 50+ years ago that a dilettante dabbler like Randall had to research to find out existed, there will have been ten times as many forgotten male scientists.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I like this comic. It's a cliché idea, but I think he pulled it off well.

    That's my opinion. You can't prove me wrong. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hate black people. I think they smell funny.

    That's my opinion. You can't prove me wrong. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Now of course I'm not said if you like xkcd then you're a racist... but I'm not saying you're NOT a racist either, wink wink

    ReplyDelete
  15. Moral of the story: Don't become a famous scientists or else you Randall will use you in his comic and ruin your image beyond repair.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Are there any black guys in xkcd? If not, does this mean that no black guy can aspire to be part of Randall's imaginary world?

    Well, no rhetorical question is complete without an answer.

    Search for xkcd forum topic: xkcd african american physical superiority

    Scary.

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Anon657: Morgan Freeman. to be part of it you must have already achieved greatness.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Also, Anon549: If your friend ever became famous, almost all articles would include the caveat, "despite only having one functional eye, _____...."

    ReplyDelete
  19. Despite having no functional penis, Ravenzomg has written a passable review.

    ALT-F would have done a better job though.

    ReplyDelete
  20. @ Whomever it was in the last thread who said, "that's a simile, not a metaphor":

    That's a Corvette, not a car!

    "your post is bad and you should feel bad."

    That post was as lousy as it was brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Gee whiz, I sure hope Randy puts the quote from the 2nd-to-last panel on a shirt, or poster, or even a notecard that i can buy because IT IS SO PROFOUND and i would happily pay money to make sure it motivates me FOREVER. But i guess not all dreams can come true :......( Also, she said "doing it" hurhurhur

    ReplyDelete
  22. I don't write critiques - cunts do.

    Ravenzomg said:

    ".....I found some of these [predictable] anecdotes to be interesting....."

    A few years ago I half-arsedly attempted a relationship with a man who was very good at anecdotes. They would always begin with him taking a deep breath and rolling his eyes up until the whites showed, before launching into a stream of exaggerations, embellishments and lies. He used to change the endings: all is fair, in love and the bar. Since then, I've become violently attached to a series of laconic men whose idea of a good chat is to stare into space, occasionally making an observation about someone's shoes. These men are like a chemistry set: the joy is in seeing what makes them react.

    ReplyDelete
  23. You skipped a whole verse! "Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all, it's you and me, you know it's my destiny, Pokemon! You're my best friend, in a world we must defend." That's what was supposed to come between the last title and this one!

    Anyways, it's true. Any person who isn't white, male, heterosexual and non-disabled will be identified for whatever makes him/her "different."

    It's like The Amazing Race. Margie and her son Like have been on two seasons now. Luke is both deaf and openly gay. He asked the producers to identify him as gay, but they refused, saying they "didn't want to confuse people with too many labels." They explained that there was already a gay team in Luke's original season, so "the gay guy" label was already taken- Luke couldn't be both deaf AND gay- that would confuse the audience! Luke's angle was "the deaf guy who did well on TAR." He couldn't be gay on top of that!

    Last night was the first time a team containing an openly lesbian woman won TAR- she was racing with her sister and both girls are black. Despite the fact that this is the team's second season on the show, they never identified Kisha as a lesbian. Their "angle" for Kisha and Jen was being an "all-female persons of color" team.

    If you have anything that makes you different from straight white non-disabled males, that's your angle! You'll be identified by that! Plus you can only have one angle, otherwise it will confuse people!

    ReplyDelete
  24. The fact that you 'watch' that telly show makes you quite different from me - angles and disabilities notwithstanding.

    I have three angles in my delta of venus and all are acute, as am I.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You acute scrotum, ALFT. I could just eat it up.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Since when judgng people by the color of their skin suddenly became okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  27. @ALTF I have seen your picture are you are differentiable everywhere.

    (I was going to say "entire" but you might take that in the context of veterinary medicine rather than complex analysis. I'm unsure whether the former applies to you. (Hm, Pseuds Corner's a lonely place, eh?))

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think its okay.

    http://img399.imageshack.us/img399/2240/mfig001sv2.gif

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6976669/1

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dearest Ed,

    I find it quite acceptable to judge others based on their levels of epidermal melanin.
    For example, Blacks, Browns, Reds, Whites and 99.997% of Yellows are utter cunts.
    Work out the probability that I think you are a cunt.

    Scrotum?
    My ball-bag was snatched in utero I'm afraid.

    Anonymous 8:39 AM,

    Please rephrase your query in the Queen's English. Fred's Corners has a nice Chinese restaurant I'm told.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Nice relationship anecdote, ALTF.

    ReplyDelete
  31. re: latest xkcd

    If I wanted to be told what to do by a zombie, I would just read the Bible.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thank you Pirate.

    Most XKCDsucks commenters are like a chemistry set: the joy is in seeing what makes them react.

    ReplyDelete
  33. ALTF is a lonely, rotund Asian Londonner, right? Probably student, late teens or early 20s, moderately strict parents... kept herself to herself at school, playing in her own invented world which she's never really left. Above-average intelligence but not that much above-average, and lacks the imagination to apply it to anything useful - lots of puzzle books in her room and probably likes Mah Jongg. How did I do?

    Since today is stereotype day, I feel this post is on topic.

    ReplyDelete
  34. "I don't write critiques - cunts do."

    So are you too lazy or too scared to write a review, or is it both? Also, complaining about Plurium Interrogationum makes you a cunt.

    If the vanity-baiting doesn't work, think about how many reactions you could elicit with a review.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Is stereotyping when you can enter letters with both hands?

    ReplyDelete
  36. I did that with French letters once. Had to use my teeth to get them off.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anon 9:32 and 9:33 = ALTF

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous 9:22,

    Mahjongg is one word, cunt.
    Still, you got the rest correct.

    I've no ego Kitten. And I am a cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  39. No, I'm ALTFacus.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Only people with egos say they have no egos, ALTF.

    People with egos also write reviews.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I would like to apologise to the few who follow my dross ‘round here for my absence of late. BP and I are in the final round of negotiations regarding funding arrangements for our NGO – only three blowjobs were needed this time! I would like to take this opportunity to sing the praises of the US Government without whose eight figure generosity BP and I would not be able to spend 6 months this coming northern winter in warmth. The American people, conversely, are a bunch of duped cunts.

    ReplyDelete
  42. You don't actually work for BP, though, and you don't do any negotiations. Your whole life is pretty pointless and meaningless and you have never accomplished anything. If you died right now, maybe 5 people would even remember and maybe one at most would actually care.

    You just want to pretend that you do actually have some influence on the world and that people actually care about you or even listen to you! Pretty autistic, to tell you the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  43. That's what sheMay 9, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    A statement about the American people is not the converse of a statement about the US government.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Precisely, Kitten.

    @ Anonymous 9:43,

    No people would care if I carked it!
    BP would actually prefer it - him being a necrophilic Botero-esque slope chaser and all.

    ReplyDelete
  45. No they wouldn't.

    ReplyDelete
  46. @ Anonymous 9:46,

    You keep believing that my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  47. And in minutes, this has become another comment thread about ALTF. Oh, joy!

    ReplyDelete
  48. There is precious little joy in it Pirate.
    Perhaps a re-evalutation of the raison d'être of this blog might shed some light on why I have the effect I do.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Yo Kittens- thanks once more for banning ALTF from your blag. It's good, you know. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If only Rob can get up off his fat ass and do the same in this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Ooops, had to delete that one - went too far.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Obviously someone hit a nerve back there?

    ReplyDelete
  53. So Rob, can you do this? We would all love it

    ReplyDelete
  54. The ego which I do not possess decided to manifest its destiny without my consent.

    Sorry Pirate.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Sounds like some form of deep psychosis.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Somebody thought I was ALTF, cool!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Also, I'd love to know what constitutes "going too far" on a hate blog.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Several microleagues in depth I reckon Pirate.

    I made disparaging remarks concerning my own genetic predisposition - me mam was not amused.

    ReplyDelete
  59. ALTF which of the lesser London colleges do you study at?

    ReplyDelete
  60. So, disparaging remarks about yourself?

    I guess that's about what I'd expect.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Hah, I was actually reading the comments, then I happened upon ALTF's comment and was like "what the fuck am I doing!?" Disaster averted.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I said that I have not one, not two, but three copies of my 21st chromosome and that all you lot have only two!
    Losers!
    Then again, I suspect there are a few anonymous commenters who are blessed with at least partial trisomy.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I'm definitely partial to a bit of trisomy

    ReplyDelete
  64. So ALTF came crawling back to Kittens, her tail between her legs; note her demeaning post:

    "I'm sure ALTF apologises for having annoyed you Mr. Kittens. I'm sure she believes that your deletional acumen is important not for what you chose to delete, but for what you chose to retain. I am sure she would be impressed."

    Look at the whipped cur!

    ReplyDelete
  65. I aim's to please and endeavour to separate myself and other miscreants and cur breeds from those of honourable standing.

    ReplyDelete
  66. you are just so hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  67. this is literally the funniest thing i have ever read

    ReplyDelete
  68. I don't know about you folks but there's something about the way Monroe squeezed in 'algebra'in the fourth (or fifth if you count the little zoom in box) panel that got to me. If I knew thousands of people were going to read my stuff I'd try a little harder. Also I wonder if he's going to follow Marie's advice and avoid just trying to be great...

    ps. I enjoyed the 'Clippy' review...it struck a humourously patronising tone that I just know I've heard somewhere...

    ReplyDelete
  69. Just so Rob doesn't have to say it: when Carl ran off to the Bahamas on the proceeds of this blog (which he still gets!) he neglected to leave Rob any sort of admin access whatsoever so this place is pretty much unmoderated. Can't ban or delete or nothing.

    (I can do that because I'm a leet master hacker but I choose not to. I'm so leet I have grokked EVERY xkcd at least three times)

    ReplyDelete
  70. 'Grokked' does not mean 'masturbated over', Ann.

    ReplyDelete
  71. If at least three people with a Google Account request that I cease darkening the doorstep of XKCDsucks I will accommodate them forthwith.

    Maybe, depending on who they are.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Kitten, that's not what your mom said when I grokked her yesterday

    ReplyDelete
  73. She didn't say anything because she is DEAD, you jerk.

    You still owe me money for that, btw.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Two down. One to go.
    This tradition is now too often kept in the breach rather than the observance I reckon.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Reboot does a Redux countdown: 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1

    ReplyDelete
  76. The fans are going at this one pretty hard, expect to see this comic everywhere:

    "YES!!! This one is going up every where I can reach!"
    "First day of next year, I know what I'm pinning to all of the cork boards!"
    "This one's going on my office door. Thanks, Randall!"

    There is someone GOOMHRing all over this comic because they were "just thinking about Marie Curie yesterday morning".

    Someone explained that the comic was probably inspired by Portal 2. Intriguing. But our first real sign of hate comes from this post:

    "I have read xkcd for years but this is the first time I have ever been pissed off by it. Not actually at it but it just made me so mad about how women have been [...]"

    No wait, for a second that looked like, Oh never mind.

    And what's all this about SP1? Glasnt cryptically said the comic was "in" it, then six people have replied to say they don't know what SP1 is. And a few people claim they do know what it is, but aren't telling. Has the forum lost its mind?

    Whoa, it actually means Service Pack 1 which was a limited edition 'upgrade' of the xkcd book given out in June 2010. At least it gives us an insight to how Randall publishes his comics. If it was in SP1, it would mean he sat on this comic for almost a year.

    For one thing, it means that Clippy was wrong (bad Clippy!). Then it begs the question, why did he publish it today? Only you can answer this: theorize at will!

    ReplyDelete
  77. Randy apparently thinks that women are strong enough to do anything except defend themselves. They need him for that.

    ReplyDelete
  78. You're using that wrong: http://begthequestion.info/
    But, I'm just being an ass.

    Where are all the XKCD-regulars? I'll admit I never really went there often enough to figure out who the regulars were, but some users seemed more prominent that others.

    ReplyDelete
  79. I know this is a cheap point, but what confused me most about this strip (apart from wordiness, so much wordiness) was the way it consisted entirely of a bunch of "inspiring women scientist" stories, but then ended on a message that boiled down to "you shouldn't need role models."

    They're both perfectly reasonable points to make but they conflict with each other. And neither of them is actually *funny* per se.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Randy knows what being great is all about, being the writer of a pandering stick-figure comic.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Reboot does a Redux countdown: 0

    ReplyDelete
  82. Women are so smart. Do you hear me? So fucking smart. Not like men, who are inferior.

    So, any of you intelligent gals want to have sex? I'd be happy to just perform cunnilingus, if you at least let me cuddle afterward.

    I'm so lonely.

    ReplyDelete
  83. @Anon 1:06 Agreed. I know the reference is a stretch, but the strip reminds me of Matt Barringer's /Detective/, a text-based adventure (or, rather, the MST3King of it). The author has no train of reason, just random disconnected thoughts and a browser open at Wikipedia to add related facts.

    You can merge a turd with soil, plant a seed and grow a beautiful orchid. But Randall doesn't do this. He knows he can use a turd in the process of building an orchid, but he doesn't get beyond just crapping out the turd. Since he doesn't know what to do next, he just produces more and more turds, convinced that the orchid will turn up if he just makes one more turd.

    It is no surprise that all he ends up with is a pile of steaming turds.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Yeaahh! Wooooo! Suck on that, Capn! I win! I WIN! etc.

    Welp, that felt kinda hollow.

    ReplyDelete
  85. It takes to two [or more] idiots to have a discussion, otherwise it's only noise. Just saying.

    Kitten: congrats on your blog. Now just wait for the madness to set in, or the point where you start asking for "guest reviews" and end up making a "whole new site" and "not posting on your original blog" anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Which reminds me I said I'd write something about Hitmen for Destiny for webcomics.me

    then again I said I'd do a webcomic for Raven AND THAT NEVER HAPPENED EITHER

    ReplyDelete
  87. Anonymous 1:23 PM said:

    ".....It is no surprise that all he ends up with is a pile of steaming turds......"

    Did you know that turds do not steam in certain countries found in S. E. Asia during the months of March and November?

    ReplyDelete
  88. @Ann: Well you can make up for it with our thor-tacular webcomic about... uh.... whatever. Raven + Ann = Success.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Pick one:

    [ ] Thorsome
    [ ] Thorlright
    [ ] Thorful

    ReplyDelete
  90. ALTF: Okay, see, that's why people want you to cool it with the commenting. That adds nothing to the discussion. That's just "random wackiness" which is not a favored form of humor in anyone out of their freshman year in high school.

    ReplyDelete
  91. IF YOU READ THIS YOU ARE STUPID

    ReplyDelete
  92. What an awful comic. No art, no joke, mixed message, and falls into a long tradition of dumping so much praise on women that it feels like sexism.

    It's as if Randy decided to make a comic that highlights as many flaws in XKCD as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  93. @Anon309: ...no one except XKCD fans. I mean, that's all XKCD really seems to be about, "random wackiness", innit?

    ReplyDelete
  94. Well, yes. That's why we don't like it. That and sockpuppeting through famous people in history, and also, WORDS. At least in this one, the amount of pure WORDS was up to CAD levels. Just because you have a webcomic doesn't mean you can't just handwrite and post blog entries, right?

    ReplyDelete
  95. I like Ravenzomg's reviews a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  96. @448: I'm totally with you. I even said that in the actual review I think maybe (I can't remember).

    ReplyDelete
  97. I think you meant to reply to 6:26, Raven.

    ReplyDelete
  98. What? I posted the same comment twice and it got deleted. WHY??

    ReplyDelete
  99. bogger's overzealous spam filter thinks it's spam. God knows why. it is sitting in my inbox though, without a home.

    worth noting, though: sje is one of the dumbest people alive, so his opinion is suspect.

    ReplyDelete
  100. So Randy has a new blog post about a comic of his over a year ago. I don't know, I think it would have been better served if he had made it into an awkward, text-heavy comic with no punchline.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Goodness Randy has been out of science a long time. I don't know if he's heard, but women are becoming a lot more prominent in science and are hardly in need of white knighting. Biology, for example, is female-dominated. Maybe it's because we're a bunch of "low-level plebeians" here in the life sciences, unworthy of Randy's attention, but from all I've ever seen, this comic is as useless as it is preachy. I know Randy's often cited for being late to the punchline, but this one is approaching 40 years or so off the mark.

    ReplyDelete
  102. oh, goddamn you blogger.
    http://trends.google.com/trends?q=xkcd

    XKCD seems to be falling in search volume, no?
    The search volume from his radiation chart seems to be taking longer to wind down than the other "spikes" observed, probably because people searched for information about radiation more.
    Maybe this is why he made his latest blog post--to use this possible crisis to his advantage?

    ReplyDelete
  103. I think the reason this spike is longer-lived is because that one actually had some mainstream relevance for a while.

    I just figured Randy is fond of disaster porn, but maybe he's just cynically exploiting it for more hits, who knows?

    ReplyDelete
  104. One thing I can't believe no one's mentioned: what kind of physics student hasn't heard of Emmy freaking Noether?!

    ReplyDelete
  105. I'm running Ubuntu now. I can't wait for Randall to make use of this new avenue in my head so I can joyously demand he get out of it.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Fuck, FUCK! It deleted my post AGAIN! Google is censoring me because I know too much.

    Luckily I saved it to a text document. THE WORLD MUST KNOW!

    "Where are all the XKCD-regulars?"

    Good question, Anon 12:57, good question.

    They mostly hang out in the less dumb parts of the forum. In other boards the triple-digit post counts are more common. Individual Comic Threads is generally considered to be the dumbest part. This is essentially confirmed in this thread. For those who won't click the link, I'll quote:

    "The thing that pisses me off the most is when they (Carl and the bloggers) criticize the forums, usually by saying we all suck Randall's penis. Mindless gay bashing aside...man, that stereotype isn't true. First off they're basing it off Indiv Comics, which everyone knows is kinda the stupid part of the forums. A lot of regulars in these forums hold it in contempt. There's a lot of opinions here, and actually quite a few people who don't really particularly like the comic, but just like to be in the prescence of geeky-minded or liberal-minded people."

    Yes, they have a thread about us, how cute!

    ReplyDelete
  107. No no Anon 11:51, Ubuntu is the "noob linux". It's the same as Windows Vista, or so sayeth lord randall.

    If you want to be a real linux user, you have to install Slackware, or some other equally unintelligible system, otherwise you're not "cool" and Randall will have no place in your head.

    ReplyDelete
  108. it's as if Randall Munroe and Tim Buckley collaborated and created a comic less funny than the sum of their individual comics

    ReplyDelete
  109. Wow. Grasping at straws much? The criticisms are getting less and less compelling. Why do I come here?

    (Because it's funny sometimes, that's why.

    Also, I'm a bit drunk.)

    ReplyDelete
  110. UndercoverCuddlefishMay 10, 2011 at 3:25 AM

    "First off they're basing it off Indiv Comics", "kinda the stupid part", "don't really particularly like", "prescence of geeky-minded"

    surely the non individual comic portions of the forum are populated with enlightened intellectuals

    surely

    ReplyDelete
  111. "Also, I'm a bit drunk."

    Nobody thinks you're cool. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Anonymous @ May 9, 3:09 PM said:

    ".....ALTF: Okay, see, that's why people want you to cool it with the commenting. That adds nothing to the discussion......"

    If I am anything, I am a spectacularly prevaricating cunt who is genetically predisposed to add nothing to any discussion - ever!
    And I assert, most humbly of course, that that alone is a fine enough petard by which to hoist me.

    As you just did.
    Innit?

    ReplyDelete
  113. Charles Augustus FortescueMay 10, 2011 at 8:03 AM

    I thought the punchline rather spoilt it. This comic would have been better with no joke.

    Or maybe she could have said "No, Pierre did everything" and thereby SUBVERTED ALL OUR EXPECTATIONS

    ReplyDelete
  114. Wasn't there an xkcd that went something like "name one female scientist who isn't Marie curie hahaha you can't!"?

    ReplyDelete
  115. at least echochamber doesn't have altf who is by the way so hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  116. I really thought this comic might end with Randy shoving his face between Zombie Marie Curie's rotting thighs

    ReplyDelete
  117. Necro-Cunnilingus is probably best simulated by licking moldy beef jerky.

    Who wants to bet there's a couple decade old bags of Jack Links sitting in Randall's nightstand drawer?

    ReplyDelete
  118. R. Said:

    "....at least echochamber doesn't have altf who is by the way so hilarious...."

    The Urban Dictionary defines echochamber as:
    "A person who totally, obsequiously agrees with, and opines to the hilarity of, everything another person says."

    You're not a cad are you R.? 'Cause I'm a real sucker for a silver-tongued man/woman like yourself. Don't go breaking my heart.

    Innit?

    ReplyDelete
  119. The word 'jerky' is an Americanism based on the Spanish word 'charqui', which in turn is a transliteration of the Quechua word 'ch'arki'.
    Cha'archi is Quechua for 'muff diving the dead'.

    Full circle.

    Innit?

    ReplyDelete
  120. You can remove the 'probably' from your comment, Capn.

    You're fooling no-one.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Since when talking about necrophilia as if it were a socially acceptable sexual behaviour suddenly became okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Being a bit drunk is OK and cool.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Ah! well a-day! what evil looks
    Had I from old and young!
    Instead of the cross, the Albatross
    About my neck was hung.

    ALTF is a good hater; "a woman no less sinned against than sinning."

    ReplyDelete
  124. Honestly, if there's still flesh left you aren't hardcore enough. "Jump her bones"?

    Bottom line, a good shovel is a worthwhile investment.

    Captcha: lable. I don't like to attach myself to the wrong lable so I just say I'm "post-life-friendly".

    ReplyDelete
  125. The present continuous tense should only be used to describe continuous actions which are taking place at that very moment, and should only be used with continuous verbs. Non-continuous verbs should never be used with the present continuous tense; one should use the simple present.

    Accordingly, XKCDsucks commenters and Ronald MacDonald can all be fucking off with their shite "I'm thinking it's time XKCD got funny again", and "I'm loving it".

    Well I am not!

    I'm fucking thinking it's time you lot learnt to speak English properly you cream of foreign cunts.

    ReplyDelete
  126. What the fuck are you talking about.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Since when making very long, very boring grammar comments on the xkcdsucks comment thread suddenly became okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  128. i hate you all
    except some of you

    ReplyDelete
  129. ALTF is the sort of pedantic, low self esteem, mediocre, attention seeking, embarrassing-but-willing woman I imagine Randall wishes Megan was like.

    Given that Randall's work is borne of perverse sexual frustration, I'm prepared to donate $5 toward an ALTF milk pump fund and a further $10 toward a one way ticket to Randall's house. Once he has this insufferable lactating slave he will be satisfied and no longer feel the need to write another strip.

    ReplyDelete
  130. It's not a bad message. It's just a bad comic. It's neither entertaining nor educational, nor even particularly interesting. The only thing it is is inspirational, and XKCD has never tried to make a thing out of inspiration. Most comics don't, 'cause it's not entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
  131. I hate when people say things that aren't people do things that people do just because it looks like they do things that people do too.

    ReplyDelete
  132. GOOMH Randall I have rode elevators too!

    ReplyDelete
  133. GOOMHR I too once had a friend help me lure a ponytailed girl into a secluded office so we could rape her furiously until she finally vomited and collapsed into a coma!

    ReplyDelete
  134. Because information wants to be free:

    To deemphasize a Cuddlefish named "Cuddlefish", bookmark:

    javascript:z='Cuddlefish';a=document.getElementsByTagName('a');b=a.length;for(c=0;c<b;c++){d=a[c];if(d.innerHTML==z){d.parentNode.style.display='none';d.parentNode.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='none';d.parentNode.nextSibling.nextSibling.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='none';} }void(0);

    if you wished to emphasize same, you could bookmark:

    javascript:z='Cuddlefish';a=document.getElementsByTagName('a');b=a.length;for(c=0;c<b;c++){d=a[c];if(d.innerHTML==z){d.parentNode.style.border='1px solid green';d.parentNode.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='2px solid green';} }void(0);

    Note that the nodes skip, so nextSiblings come in pairs.

    Disclaimer: Everything I learned about bookmarklets came from either Randall Munroe or a WOMAN!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Also, obviously, you could produce z with document.getSelection() or document.selection, depending on browser.

    ReplyDelete
  136. UndercoverCuddlefishMay 11, 2011 at 1:22 AM

    i used that script that somebody posted but their comments disappeared and i forgot their name now how am i supposed to thank them if i cant see them what is going on

    ReplyDelete
  137. Yeah and no-one takes notice of fire inspection notices because fire safety never helped anyone... oh wait, Randall, you dipshit, when you work somewhere bigger than your own bedroom this stuff is important.

    Just because you've never had a real job it doesn't mean that there aren't some people responsible for building potentially dangerous stuff, others responsible for checking potentially dangerous stuff, and yet others responsible for auditing the checks of potentially dangerous stuff.

    Those notices you see in workplaces and public places are there to help you. Consider:

    (1) If Randall were ever in academia he'd expect a chain of reliable citations in any paper. Well, consider this notice the first step in a chain. Do you ride the elevator because some Elevator Bible says that all elevators are safe, or because SCIENCE[tm] and ENGINEERING[tm] have produced a system the safety of which can actually be checked?

    I've observed safety notices and asked to check documents related to them and public/workplaces have responded as if the question were perfectly routine. You know why? Because it is. Because people with a real science mentality rather than third rate comic strip writers *do* want to satisfy themselves that stuff is OK. And sometimes they're just, you know, curious about more than the smell of girls' hair.

    (2) You're stuck in an elevator. You call for help. Someone responds. Oh, you know what they'll need next? That's right. Some documentation related to the elevator. This notice is just one way of saving potentially valuable (perhaps there's a mechanical/structural/fire problem) minutes.

    (3) You have some sort of unique elevator need: perhaps you're disabled and using some particular equipment / perhaps you're carrying a particular sort of load. Guess where you might check whether using the elevator is a good idea?

    (4) You are inspecting the elevators and you want to know where documentation is stored. "Just ask that guy Bob - he knows where everything is," is not appropriate.

    (5) The notices are usually dated. As a last resort, an out-of-date inspection notice should be observed by at least one passer by / service user (and geeks are always sooo observant right?) and reported to the appropriate authority.

    Also it was painful to have to type "elevator" instead of "lift" repeatedly.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Haha, "lift." What a FAGGOT.

    ReplyDelete
  139. @4:35: TL;DR, BITCHES

    ReplyDelete
  140. Summary of Anon435 for idiots: Randall am hack, I am Commonwealth.

    Captcha: nonavi. THANK GOD.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Randall am hack,
    hack am fail,
    therefore, Randall am fail

    Socrates

    ReplyDelete
  142. Newsflash:

    Bad Webcomics Wiki used to have an article about xkcd. Now it doesn't.

    Although to be fair, the article was just an angry rant, and used xkcd as a strawman for Asperger's Syndrome.

    Captcha: mouse. Holy heck, I got an actual English word. That means I win!

    ReplyDelete
  143. Is it me, or is xkcd not quite as good as it once was?

    ReplyDelete
  144. Just you. It's always sucked.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Are you telling me 613 isn't the greatest comic ever made? Point out one flaw with it.

    ReplyDelete
  146. I really like elevator jokes. But there is one think I like even more: it is lengthy discussions about elevator safety.

    Today is like the best day of my life!

    ReplyDelete
  147. @JustScott HAHAHA 613 IS SO WITTY. MY GO.

    I had SEX with MEGAN yesterday and I had to apply a lot of LUBE (because assault is not a turn-on). But no matter how much I tried to SMELL her HAIR I could not because there was not enough of it.

    And I waited. I waited for more hair, but no hair came. It was like there was only one strand of hair and the hair had no odour whatever.

    DO YOU KNOW WHY?
    DO YOU?

    BECAUSE...

    HAHAHA this is so funny WAIT FOR IT...

    BECAUSE

    You cannot DOUBLE

    WAIT FOR IT!

    YOU CANNOT DOUBLE THE PUBE

    IN GREASE.

    Tooltip: I wanted us to try a cissoid of Diocles, but nooooooo.

    ReplyDelete
  148. How do elevators work anyway?

    I know that there is some sort of magnet pulling the box up, but I don't understand why it doesn't fall more slowly. Is it a system of parachutes?

    ReplyDelete
  149. it's a motherfucking miracle, don't try to understand it

    ReplyDelete
  150. What do you guys think about elevator safety? Do you think elevators are safe enough? If no, why? If yes, are you sure?

    ReplyDelete
  151. I don't really care about elevator safety, as long as I'm at the lobby or at the first floor. Above the second floor, I tend to think that elevator safety is extremely important.

    ReplyDelete
  152. As usual, people are obsessed with elevator safety and completely forget about staircase safety. Did you know that you are 5 times more likely to have a deadly accident in a staircase than in an elevator?

    You people disgust me.

    ReplyDelete
  153. We're spending too much money on elevator safety programs. When I was a kid, the elevator in my building was a rattling iron cage from the beginning of the century, and my parents didn't care. Now, we protect the kids too much and they're growing up to be sissies.

    ReplyDelete
  154. @Roger

    How can you say such things! If it allows to save lives, i don't care how much it costs. Not everything can be brought down to "how must it costs".

    ReplyDelete
  155. I'M IN HEAVEN!

    ReplyDelete
  156. I don't care about elevator safety.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Because of my claustrophobia I used to climb 12 flights several times every day.

    Now I'm fat.

    Therefore I consider it important for elevators to be unsafe, so people are discouraged from using them and instead get some exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Can someone explain that "since when [X] became okay? I don't think it's okay" joke to me? Is that some meme I haven't heard?

    ReplyDelete
  159. Since when did expecting an explanation become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  160. You didn't even do it right, you stupid shit.

    ReplyDelete
  161. @10:16 - 10:57:
    Obvious samefag is obvious

    ReplyDelete
  162. @Anon 11:46 we know who you are.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Has Megan bleached her hair? Or has Randall finally moved on?

    ReplyDelete
  164. @Anon 12:04 stop hitting F5 and say something funny.

    ReplyDelete
  165. What happened to the stuff and the things?

    ReplyDelete
  166. Blogger it dooooown man

    I lost a revoo of a really awful Marillion album. Hopefully it'll be restored soon otherwise I'll have to listen to it again :(

    ReplyDelete
  167. randall proves that he reads the onion

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-makes-it-through-another-day-of-resisting-ur,20364/

    ReplyDelete
  168. Yeah, he really phoned this latest one in. It was an hour late, and it's a shitty chart comic.

    ReplyDelete
  169. In 898 we learn that geeks aren't impotent tools who just follow orders but are in fact more powerful than the most powerful man on the planet.

    ReplyDelete