Monday, May 23, 2011

Comic 902: More Star Wars References

darmok and jalad

[Comic title: Darmok and Jalad; alt text: I wonder how often Patrick Stewart has Darmok flashbacks when talking to Star Trek fans.]

As is traditional, shortly after Randy does something which is vaguely topical, the very next reference he makes is to a 1983 film you may have seen called "Return of the Jedi." The reference is to the part where Sir Alec Guinness is talking to Kalenda the Hutt's henchman about gaining entry to the palace so they can free Han Solo and his friends and then fly off and fight the Emperor.

The scene is famous for its decadent party sequences, including the extended edition which has a bunch of terrifying alien dancers, and Kalenda the Hutt indulging his voyeuristic necrophagia fetishes by having one of his dancers eaten by a monster named after how angry it is. So naturally Randy thinks it would be hilarious if the famous greeting "Darmok and Jalad at Kalenda's" actually referred to having a hedonistic orgy, which is basically a description of what's happening in the scene. I guess a straight up literal description is supposed to be funny now? Come on, Randy, make an effort.

Also, that doesn't even look like Sir Alec.

188 comments:

  1. I don't care what you say Rob, his rendition of that Farscape episode was pretty good -- you can actually tell who is Sir Ian and who is Claudia Black. So fuck you and your arrogant inability to accept a good XKCD!

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  2. I think it was "Tanagra". Memory Alpha, the Star Trek Wiki, tells me as much. Randy fails.

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  3. "...eaten by a monster named after how angry it is."

    I laughed.

    Forgive me.

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  4. Rob has mixed up Star Wars and Star Trek.

    That is unforgivable.

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  5. wtf is this a joke? If so I don't get it.

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  6. I never even liked Star Wars when I was a kid, which was partly why I couldn't related to my peers well enough to make any friends. The lack of social experience during my formative years has now resulted in my being an adult without any friends, and I'm too uncool even for the other maladjusted twats because I still don't like Star Wars!

    Fuck you George Lucas.

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  7. Great stuff, Robdall!

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  8. "wtf is this a joke? If so I don't get it. "

    why would i be joking about this really boring star wars reference?

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  9. Uhmm... this is obviously SG1

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  10. no way dude, that's the scrotum-faced alien majordomo to Kalenda the HUtt

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  11. I was never much in to Harry Potter.

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  12. Clearly a reference to ending END S04B(11) of 書淫、或いは失われた夢の物語. And you people call yourselves literati?

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  13. Get out of my head, Rob!

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  14. Randall has to stop referencing Battlestar Galactica, it's getting boring now...

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  15. Wait, what happened to the Pokemon theme?

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  16. I'm not sure what's worse, that randy's going for the Family Guy "HEY GUYS POP CULTURE REFERENCE" style of humor or that he's failing so very badly at it.

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  17. I hate that he had to write WIIIINK so that we understood what that last panel was showing

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  18. What's worse is the alien is actually saying "wink".

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  19. Rob mistook Star Trek for Star Wars.

    And then played the 'duh, I was kidding because I'm a hilarious hilarious man' card.

    No, you're a fucktard, and you're not clever, and you're not funny.

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  20. Wrong. It is clearly Star Wars - the chick with the hair is definitely Princess Lana.

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  21. WAIT!!!

    So, this comic was about Star Trek, not Star Wars!

    Thank you for clearing that up, 5:29!

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  22. I don't get why you folks think it's Star Trek. Where are all the Krylons?

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  23. 5:29 - dumbest cuddlefish? possibly!

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  24. BP and I met Patrick Stewart in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Well, BP did at least. I merely swooned.

    Innit?

    I have never seen a Star Trek episode or movie. I have seen one of the six Star Wars movies though - breathtaking it was.

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  25. You mean one of the three Star Wars movies. Your finger must have slipped.

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  26. My computer, or my Dial-Up Internet connection will not let me post comments with my Google Account.

    Apologies

    Innit.

    Captain Cameron,
    I use my prehensile clitoris, not my finger. BP assures me that there were six Star Wars movies. Are you saying that the great and powerfull BP is in error. Please make it so.

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  27. Personally, I prefer to type with my chest hairs.

    BP must be seeing double, the poor soul. Have BP's glasses checked out.

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  28. Wait a minute!
    The BING search assures me there are six movies with a 'Star Wars' plot in common.
    You know; Skywalker kinfolk and cute girls who grow up to be fat fuckers.

    Why do you think there are only three?

    Years of onanism have affected BP's vision though - so you're right about that.

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  29. I guess so many people want to believe George Lucas made more Star Wars movies after the early '80s they've created an illusion for themselves. Scary world we live in.

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  30. I have found, courtesy of North America's major pharmaceutical companies, that the world in/on which we live is far from being scary - quite delightful actually.

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  31. Oooops!
    I misused the verb 'to be' there.
    Pedants have my permission to heap scorn upon me.

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  32. Scorn upon you ALT-F!

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  33. A little to the left please.


    Cue Meg Ryan momment.

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  34. You're all wrong. There was only ever one Star Wars movie.

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  35. Pretty sure there have been eleven star wars movies. Although the latest was a reboot and had a lot of lens flare!

    Very hilarious jokes about lens flare were made! "What a lot of lens flare" people would say "How can anyone see for all the lens flare?" people would ask.

    It was a great time to be alive and I don't regret it

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  36. Cuddlefish! This Strip's So True, Your GOOMHage Will Pull Us Through

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  37. @Anon5:29 you dumb fuck read the URL. He knew it was Star Wars all along.

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  38. Now be fair K., Lens Flare is a legitmate technique in cinematography. How else can you explain the belief of many that Sarah Jessica Parker is attractive but through the judicious use Lens Flare

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  39. Lens flare isn't a legitimate technique, it's a byproduct of sunlight hitting the lens at an off angle or some shit

    It's basically a limitation of older lenses that is still used because directors want so desperately to be like 2001

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  40. Sarah Jessica Parker is as ugly as Anonymous 9:42 AM is stupid.

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  41. Either a lot of people are missing some sarcasm in this thread, or I'm missing their meta-level sarcasm.

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  42. @ Anonymous 10:23 AM,

    It is the former, not the latter, my friend.

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  43. this used to be my favorite xkcd related site on the net but if the owner cant tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek then.. god im just speachless...

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  44. That's good, we need less idiots in the comments anyway.

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  45. Darmok AND Jalad AT Kalenda's?

    What's with this AND and AT crap? There's no Angeln or Saxony on Tama, so where'd they get all the Anglo-Saxon roots? I'm sorry, I just can't suspend my disbelief in this so-called Tamarian language.

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  46. @11:13

    First of all, Rob doesn't own this site, you schmuck.

    Secondly, everything else that's stupid about your post.

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  47. I've taken the liberty of researching Star Trek.
    The 'T' in James T. Kirk represents the name 'Tiberius'.
    The Roman emperor Tiberius, third of the Twelve Caesars, was often 'entertained' by his 'Little Fishes'(Pisciculi) when he was lounging in the pool. Some of these fishes drowned while performing their duties.
    Nerine Kidd-Shatner drowned in a pool.

    Art imitates life imitates art imitates life - innit?

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  48. Sepia @ 11:20 AM said:

    "....There's no Angeln or Saxony on Tama, so where'd they get all the Anglo-Saxon roots?...."

    I imagine the same place everyone gets their tuber conjunctions and corm prepositions; at TESCOs and Sainsburys.

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  49. could you break your shitty character for a second and tell us why you're doing this

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  50. Ah, Mother Tesco and Auntie Sainsbury, they take care of us don't they they take good care to make sure we're fully up to DOSE on our ISANITY MEDICATION.

    Now, I'm not one to take liberties with the facts, but if you can't tell the simple difference between Science Fiction and Religious Reality you should get out of the blog game! Who gave you the right to critique, eh? You got a certificate from the central office?

    No, the only real deception going on is the simple confusion of Stars. Allow me to clear this up for everyone here. A star war is when two celebrities get in a tiff and a star trek is when they go for a long walk, often for charity. Was that so hard?

    ALTF: I have an erection right now, please deal with this information as you will.

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  51. I've taken the liberty of researching ALTF.
    The 'L' in ALTF represents 'love'.
    Yet ALTF feels alone.

    (Apart from that guy with low self esteem who does what she tells him. Infatuation and mutual dependence are hard to separate, though.)

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  52. R. I don't know where you get your ideas from, character? Hoo Hoo

    Hoo hoo, hee hee.

    CLEARLY, ALTF is a PROJECTION of your own ATTACK on your own SELF and if that bamboozles you perhaps it's time to get out of the blog game!

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  53. 12:49, if you can't use simple deductive reasoning, perhaps it's time to get out of the blog game!

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  54. @ Anonymous 12:49, the second one:

    The word 'love' in my monicker is meant to be understood as a verb.
    Accordingly, I not only feel alone I have also been known to feel some people's manly mettle when requested to do so. Are you listening Anonymous @ 12:49, the first one?

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  55. Oooops!
    Anonymous 12:49, the first one is 'K'!
    Sorry K.

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  56. @ALTF I've been on the Internet since 1995 and every so often I meet a character almost exactly like yours. The underlying person is invariably unhappy.

    Why don't you come out of your shell for a few minutes and tell us what's on your mind?

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  57. Woo go Captain Picard! what are we talking about

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  58. @ Anonymous 1:10 PM, the first one,

    Well I've been on Zoloft since 1994 so I've been quite happy for almost a year longer than you have been stalking the likes of me on the Internet.

    AND 1995? Fuck me from behind with Methuselah, you must be one right old fecker. Perhaps I should start using approbative terms like Burke and Pikey so you'll understand me better?

    Innit?

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  59. Cockney colloquialisms brook no favour with me! Nor will equating time spent wiling away on the hours on the digital "net" with expertise in dealing with social interactions. You will find there is remarkable small difference with talking to these people in real life.

    They are about as dull and half as loud, I find.

    And happiness is a chemical reward for evolution's machinations. I shall be quite content to not receive a jot of it.

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  60. Make up your mind K!
    Are you 'Anonymous said...' or are you 'K said...'?

    ".....You will find there is remarkable small difference with talking to these people in real life....."

    Too true my friend.

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  61. I am k!

    Hiding behind anonymity is not a game for the mighty.

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  62. Look, this is legitimately a bad comic (in so much as I'm passingly familiar with Star Trek and have never heard of whatever this is referencing), but it is clearly Star Trek that is being referred to. If you want this site to look like it's honest criticism, at least talk about the facts and not jokingly claim it was a Star Wars reference (then again maybe you honestly thought it was a Star Wars reference, except that the only Hutt ever named in Star Wars was Jabba so your explanation falls apart, so either this was a pathetic attempt at a joke or wow you are just sad).

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  63. ALTF/k are you just in it for the attention, or do you honestly believe you're entertaining people?

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  64. Wow k, you're doing a fantastic job mimicking ALTF's writing style. It almost makes me wonder whether you might be the same person.

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  65. Okay, rob, this comic is clearly about Red Dwarf.
    L2analyse you knob-slobberer



    Bitches.

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  66. Twilight, I'm not even going to pretend to comprehend the nonsense you continue to SPEW all over the infinite canvas of my computer screen. Suffice to say, this comic clearly references the Star Wars what with its clearly alien characters.

    Unless you are seriously suggesting it is an elaborate hairstyle?

    1:53, is it possible to dishonestly believe something?

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  67. 1:57, I am k!

    F-M-X, ahhhhhhhhhh

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  68. @ALTF 1:53 "intellectual dishonesty"

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  69. I am Spartacus!
    And so is my wife, K.

    K is as different from me as night is from knight.

    Watch out for the obese Ravenzomg - she has awakened.

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  70. And K's a smeghead.

    K?
    There is only room for one lexical daisy-cutter 'round here.
    Though, we would make quite a team.

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  71. @ Anonymous 1:57 PM

    If you think my writing style, with its wonderful use of literary and rhetorical devices, is in any way the same as K's writing style, with its equally wonderful uses of both literary and rhetorical devices, you are an ignorant cunt - and no mistake.

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  72. I would like to reiterate the fact that, all other possibilities excluded, I am k! I hope this SIMPLE fact is not too taxing on the wide varieties of intellects that wander through this blog while "surfing".

    And of course, ALTF the eternal question! Or not - anyway - it mustn't come to blows. We can't be devoured by in fighting when they're all against us.

    I don't know where the ill will comes from, but I'm certain with the right education (and eugenics programs) it will cease forthrightly and correct.

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  73. ALTF/k, what with the health/social welfare cuts in England you ought to be spending more time attending to your current and/or prospective breadwinners and less time here.

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  74. ALTF go blow your imaginary boyfriend and leave us alone, mkay? God, I do not understand why we don't just make like Saudi Arabia and ban women from driving and the internet.

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  75. Oh I think I can spare a little time begging on the street and thrusting my weeping sores in pedestrians' faces in favour of commenting on a blog.

    If it weren't for the weekend would people work in the week? Or would they work on the weak?

    Robbery.

    4:05, You have some quite exciting ideas my friend! I had not considered a correlation between gender and inability but now that I think about it...

    And already I have done more than you.

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  76. You're doing it wrong 4:05.

    I prithee the harlot ALTF to go ministrate to BP, who is a right ol' chap. Is this acceptable?

    In fact, I hear the men of al-Saud Araby do oppress their women, fuck me from behind, that their asses are sore from beating.

    With self-righteous dagnabits such as yourself, little cunt, mayhap this will occur in the decadent western world too, or so BP assures me.

    And K., though you do display rudimentary

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  77. Huh. I do not remember this scene from Battletoads.

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  78. Randy, if you're gonna make fun of a scene from Catwoman, don't make it the one everyone's scene. Geddit?

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  79. oh shit i forgot the pokemon theme
    damn it

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  80. More like REDDIT, amirite?

    Captcha: Blitimon. I choose you!

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  81. my captcha had something to do with negroes!

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  82. mmmmmm tasty trollbait

    @ Twilight: "...If you want this site to look like it's honest criticism..."

    Well there's your problem

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  83. You guys are all really dumb- how can you not see that this is a Firefly reference? Randy has made so many Firefly references, it seems like you'd be used to it by now. The guy in the first panel is clearly a Reaver- see how he's mutilated his face? He's talking to Mal and Inara. He's obviously found out that Inara is a registered companion and wants to hook up with her. This obviously horrifies Inara, as a companion would NEVER do it with a Reaver.

    Also...bring back the Pokemon theme!

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  84. I don't get the comic, but then I'm not really into pokemon.

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  85. I forgot about this scene from Chuck.

    (I was going to berate everyone for posting 99% nonsense unrelated to the actual comic but I figured I'd go with the flow.)

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  86. i'll come out and say it, i sort of laughed at 903. the text in the second panel is pretty minimal and worked for me.

    i didn't like the 30 point iq drop though. it's like randy can't bring himself to even jokingly refer to himself as anything but very smart.

    the person in the first panel sounds very knowledgeable about what presumably is not their field of expertise at all, so i would guess it simulates someone with an iq of at least 150. 30 points below that is 120, still considered pretty smart, certainly way above average. however the guy in the second panel clearly has iq < 80.

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  87. oh, and cue everyone in the forums posting their (alleged) iqs. before you get started here, mine is infinity billion squared.

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  88. i don't have an IQ :(

    i like how Randy is lately basically admitting that he gets literally 400% of his ideas from wikipedia

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  89. #903 is just GOOMH bait. THAT IS ALL.

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  90. I started at the wikipedia page for porn and ended up at philosophy. I can't prove that this is how Randy tested his theory, but it's what I'm going to believe.

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  91. I saw the philosophy Wikipedia thing on reddit like last week, so I assume it's at least a month old. Way to take an idea you found online and pass it as your own I'd say.

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  92. Randall's theory is interesting, however I believe it would be more interesting if he wrote about it on Randall Munroe's Illustrated Picto-Blag™ instead of making yet another comic about Wikipedia.

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  93. So, Randy's IQ drops to, what, 72, when Wikipedia isn't there to save his ass?

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  94. Interesting how he chose cars. Probably one of the few subjects technical enough to valued by nerd culture while still being macho enough for your average nerd trend-follower to forgive ineptitude with.

    I also know plenty of people who know car mechanics inside out who have a somewhat negligible apparent IQ.

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  95. @Anon12:02 I think geeks tend to confuse "knowing geeky stuff" with "having a high IQ".

    Also, this comic is as insightful as my ball hairs. It takes about 5 days of being on the Internet to realise that people inflate their apparent knowledge by quickly looking stuff up and pasting it.

    It takes about 7 days to realise that this is mostly from Wikipedia, to the point that I used to find it fun (yes, yes, I need a life) to identify incorrect or misleading factoids in Wikipedia articles to bait people into regurgitating them uncited... and then I'd call them on it.

    Seriously, NASA? Has the place got that bad?

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  96. Hahahahaha!

    Apparently, Randy does not have the slightest clue how an IQ test works. Does he really think that IQ is measured by the amount of geeky facts a person knows?

    Come on! Even he has to know that being a walking encyclopaedia is no guarantee for a high IQ. XKCD is becoming dumber and dumber...

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  97. IQ is the geek's dick size: pretty meaningless and rarely measured correctly anyway.

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  98. Pfff, the XKCD forum thread for 902 is one big circle jerk of GOOHM Randalers. Nobody there said anything about the IQ thing.

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  99. I guarantee that Randall comes off as someone who frantically looks up everything on Wiki instead of having a conversation.

    A friend of mine does this constantly.

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  100. Oh my gosh, 5 pages already?

    Well I looked and a lot of it seems to be discussing the 'game' in the alt text.

    This is the sort of stuff that belongs in the forum games, which is usually less dumb than the individual comic threads, so I approve.

    Some people on the fifth page have pointed out that their chain of clicks takes them to 'xkcd'? Surely not a coincidence, which brings us on to...

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  101. I have investigated and found that some people have been changing Wikipedia links to sabotage the 'game', or make it easier.

    Recently there has also been a stream of edits to send people to the xkcd page, via the following chain of links:

    Quantity -> Change -> Social change -> Social progress -> Social enterprise -> Uncorporation -> Breadpig -> Xkcd

    Looks like this was the result of one user, Antony-22 (contributions)

    He made changes to

    Quantity
    Social change
    Social progress
    Social enterprise
    Uncorporation
    and Breadpig

    But what's the point? Is it to make more people find out about xkcd? Unlikely since most of the people playing this game have seen xkcd. The point of these edits is to provide validation for xkcd fans. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the sad truth I've found out from doing this.

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  102. I started with Megan and got to Aristotle. The second link was philospher (first was Greek), so close enough.

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  103. Wait, I kept on going anyway and eventually got to philosophy.

    Therefore, Megan is an oedipus complex.

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  104. Reading "not in parentheses or italics" prompted me, of course, to search for "parentheses" and "italics". Only the latter has its own article:

    Italics=italic type -> Typography -> arranging type=Typesetting -> types=Sort(typesetting) -> typesetting=Typesetting -> types=Sort(typesetting) -> ...

    Why must Randall be such a fucking failure?

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  105. I address the lack-of-Intelligentsia (zing!) of this Devil's Smithy of umbrage and fallacy

    There has been much vitriol by the morons who populate this blog projected against the Intelligence Quotient test, of which I scored a peefect mark. I thereby give the IQ test much merit, as a validation for successfully interpreting my mighty intellect. I persume this hatred is a result of collective low markings and scorn of this blog by those who HAVE achieved high marks, such as myself. As you are all retarded, this is the logical extreme to your primitive fundamentalist, hate obsessed ape pseudo-brains.

    I rest my case.

    -William Monty Hughes,
    IQ unmeasurable by current tests and definitions (look it up!)
    "Cogito Ergo Sum" and I certainly do think. The same cannot be said for you; thus are you nonpersons and irrelevant.

    Post Scriptum: I still hate you all with every neurone of my mostly-knowing super brain.

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  106. tecum pene ineo et coito ergo sum, WMH.

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  107. I have one thing to say about todays comic, or rather, alt text: I started at Gurren Lagann, and I ended up at philosophy before I got bored. Huh.

    Nothing to say about the comic itself.

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  108. UndercoverCuddlefishMay 25, 2011 at 6:02 AM

    nobody is commenting on how randy gave us an obvious os x version of chrome as the browser

    where is your linux randall

    where is it

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  109. My first reaction was this: Why is there text at the bottom? The joke is abundantly clear from the two panels (and, in fact, even from just the first panel). The rest is just "See, it's funny because I look dumb without Wikipedia. Get it, guys? Get it?"

    ReplyDelete
  110. @ Anonymous May 24, 3:53 PM,

    I do not live, nor even transit through, 'Blighty', much less 'Engerland'. To wit: Barca will larrup Man U in the Champions League final. Why do I think this? That Rooney cunt is so fecking ugly - an obviously of poor breeding.

    @ Anonymous May 24, 4:05 PM,

    I thought you were my boyfriend?

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  111. I know what yins is thinkin': "What the fuck is she doing here on a Wednesday?"

    I can't answer that.

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  112. Since when ALT-F suddenly became okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

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  113. 7:05 combined the 2 worst things about this blog

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  114. Dear William Monty Hughes,

    Not learning from past mistakes is a mark of the basest stupidity. I shall repeat some comments from our previous altercation, and perhaps this time you will take note:

    Is your IQ so low that it is incapable of being measured? Perhaps that is what a 'peefect' mark is?

    Your vocabulary indicates that you a crass and vulgar vagabond, a intellectual beggar parading around in a scavenged top hat. 'Retarded', are we? I suggest you stop embarrassing yourself and others and return to your gutter forthwith.

    Kind regards,
    Kitten(s)

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  115. Dear William Monty Hughes,

    Ignore the Kitten. Anyone who would posit the following query: "Is your IQ so low that it is incapable of being measured?" is not to be taken seriously.
    You see, constructs such as an 'I.Q.' cannot be inherently measurable, in and of itself - it is not a quality they could possess. It is we who possess, or do not possess, the quality/capability/wherewithall to perform the actual measuring.

    It is not capable/incapable of being measured. We are incapable/capable of measuring it. A semantic, but important, distinction.

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  116. 7:05 and 7:39 combine four of the worst things about this blog.

    1 - Me

    2 - R.

    and

    3 - That 'I don't think it's okay' cunt's redundant illiteracy.

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  117. Dear William Monty Hughes,

    Please disregard ALT-F's comment. She is under the delusion that 'capability' has only one meaning.

    Kind regards,
    Kitten(s)

    ReplyDelete
  118. Engerlandian is my fourth language!
    What do you expect!

    And it's not 'delusion' but 'illusion'.

    Innit?

    I am right though, I just can't formulate my defence in English. You'll just have to trust me. You know like when I trust people who say:
    "The cheque's in the mail"
    or
    "I promise, I'll only stick it in a little bit."

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  119. Kittens,
    In English you are correct! 'Capability' can be defined to reflect my distinction exactly.
    In Spanish there are two words used to distinguish the subtlety.

    I am indeed indebted to you.

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  120. Re: Jon Levi's forum watch

    It's a good thing that guy went with "quantity" instead of "quality", because the latter should not, under any circumstances, lead to xkcd.

    Also "Twilight" should get a Twilight Sparkle avatar. And then we'll be bffs forever.

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  121. You know, I don't think I've ever seen ALT-F genuinely act annoyed at someone before now, with the "I don't think it's okay" person. It almost seemed like breaking character.

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  122. About the alt-text.

    This is at least 3 days old.

    Randall, please come up with your own Wikipedia games.

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  123. Re: UndercoverCuddlefish

    Randall's been a Mac user for a while now. Quoting from this blag post (dated Dec 2009)

    "I decided to repair and resell it [my x200s], and use the money to get a 13-inch Macbook Pro. [...] I’ve been using an OS X desktop (a Mac Mini) as my main desktop machine for a couple years now [...] The things I use Linux for (programming and playing with random toys/projects) are, on the other hand, easily done in VMs."

    Comic 837 (Coupon Code) shows Firefox on a Mac. The Mac Mini is referenced in 530 (I'm An Idiot).

    It was almost a legitimate GOOMHR moment when I first read the blag post and realised I have the following things in common with Randall.

    1) I use a Mac, specifically a 13-inch Macbook Pro.
    2) I run Firefox (although recent evidence suggests he doesn't any more).
    3) I use an Android phone.
    4) I like the Macbook Pro for one of the same reasons he does, the trackpad*.

    I uh... should I be ashamed?

    Captcha: warize. "We shall warize on the beaches, we shall warize on the landing grounds..."

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  124. @ Anonymous 8:55 AM,

    I do not become annoyed - ever. Nor do I break character - simply because this IS my character.
    The point of that comment was to promise 'four' but only list 3.
    Too subtle perhaps.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Since when did ALT-F becoming annoyed become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Jon Levi said:

    "....I uh... should I be ashamed?...."

    No.
    You are powerless to affect/effect the syncopal effect/affect you have on all the people who might cross your miserable pixelations.

    You also have the following 'things' in common with ennui

    1) Yawny
    2) Yawny
    3) Cunt
    4) Cunt

    Lord Henry Wotton says to a young Dorian Gray: "The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness."

    Reading your dross is a sin.

    @ Anonymous @ 9:23 AM,
    Nyuck nyuck!

    ReplyDelete
  127. Since when did xkcd become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Stop fucking using my meme wrong. The grammar isn't supposed to be correct, assholes.

    ReplyDelete
  129. since when did ed become butthurt?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  130. If the grammar IS correct then it is not your meme anymore, now is it?

    ReplyDelete
  131. See, there's three things wrong with your attitude, Ed:

    1. You attempted to force a meme. This is the greatest blasphemy and no one will ever use this shitty "okay" shit unless it's to piss of ALTF.

    2. You expected to have full control over this pseudo-"meme", which is not how memes work. You think every time someone posts advice dog, that's one single person? Shut up and be happy anyone's even taking you that seriously.

    3. You outed yourself as that retarded anon. Now no1 here will have even a modicum of respect for you (not that we did before, but still).

    ReplyDelete
  132. Since when did Ed getting angry become alright?

    I think it's alright.

    ReplyDelete
  133. I heard you don't like becoming alright so we put a meme in your meme so you can cry while you cry.

    ReplyDelete
  134. more like chagrinED! amirite?

    Captcha: factio. A spell to render a preceding statement utter truth, only usable on the internets. Factio!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Carl,
    Do not go gentle into that good night....
    Rage, rage against the R.'s dying of the light.

    Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if XKCD Sucks and its Commenters last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'

    ReplyDelete
  136. I realize this post is mostly trollbait, but...

    Since when did "Nyuck nyuck!" become a legitimate reply?

    I don't think it's a legitimate reply.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Nyuck nyuck, Anon 1029. Nyuck nyuck.

    ReplyDelete
  138. seriously this is the worst thing and all you guys suck

    ReplyDelete
  139. Stop fucking using my nyuck nyuck wrong. The grammar isn't supposed to be correct, assholes.

    And I suck better than most of the guys to whom you refer R..

    ReplyDelete
  140. I'm just going to do this once, get it out of my system and all:

    Since when did all you guys sucking become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    Lololool!

    Captcha: ootext. Ooh, I can see text everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Just want to put out there that I'm greatly enjoying this thread.

    ReplyDelete
  142. We'll use your nyuck nyuck any way we see fit, and you'll like it.

    Innit?

    ReplyDelete
  143. I've a confession to make.
    I suffer from 'Shy Bladder'. You know, Paruresis, a type of phobia in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the (real or imaginary) presence of others, such as in a public lavatory.
    It could be worse though, the fact that I am a girl notwithstanding, I could be Kitten and suffer from the heartbreak of 'Shy Penis'.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Though I imagine his 'Shy Penis' would gain a certain turgid confidence when exposed in a public lavatory with George Michael and/or Ricky Martin.

    Livin' The Vida Before You Go-Go.

    Innit?

    ReplyDelete
  145. kitten i don't capitalise
    the captcha thing is probably something i would say though
    also i try to avoid using memes as much as possible

    ReplyDelete
  146. I'm not every doppelganger, R, and I tend to make more of an effort when I am.

    ALT-F, are you trying to work out my gender/sexual orientation? That is so cute!

    ReplyDelete
  147. ALTF if you thought the guy who is supporting you was going to leave you, would you find someone else first or would you break it off honestly and try to make it on your own for a while?

    ReplyDelete
  148. Only carl can save us now.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Since when did not capitalizing become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Ebulient ExegesisMay 25, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    This is the best thing. I don't understand how, but ALTF and TLOK (and k and K) have displaced the entirety of the content of this site in my mind. No more will I rage about how flat the milk jokes fall; I will be occupied by the alluring affectation of the nearly-human Briton.

    ReplyDelete
  151. The only way to summon Carl is to sacrifice ALTF, but the only one who can kill ALTF is Carl.

    ReplyDelete
  152. I go away for five minutes and this is how you repay me? I've got about 5 minuets left to live and again, I'm being repaid in this?

    Listen, the xkcd is not the guy but let's just. Oh god.

    Listen, the xkcd is not the comic but let's just ignore for a oh god god god jesus THREE GODS

    Listen, the xkcd is not the comic that I enjoy with myself weall like to comment weaning OH GOD HINDUISM

    Listen the xkcd is not the comic that I enjoy, for itself there are other reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Listen, the xkcd is not the comic that I enjoy for itself, there are other reasons like the faa fuck FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT [CENSORED] [sic]

    Listen, the xkcd is not the comic that I enjoy we've only got the one stop complaining

    Listen, I can't protect you people from the truth no more than I can protect an ant from my might boot!

    Listen, we've all got problems suck it up and deal with the,.

    Listen, Luke I am your Captain Kirk.

    Listen, One Love.

    ReplyDelete
  153. @ Anonymous 12:43 PM,

    I would write 'awhile' as one word. The only thing that supports me are my knee breeches.

    @ Kittens
    I know your gender/sexual orientation and I don't approve.

    ReplyDelete
  154. ALTF do you have a shoe fetish? I think I know you.

    ReplyDelete
  155. When's this place going to implode?

    ReplyDelete
  156. @ Ebulient Exegesis,

    I am in no way a whinging POME bastard.

    @ Anonymous 1:06 PM,

    I bought a pair of F.M. Pumps once when I was feeling frumpy. But fuck me did my feet hurt! And I needed several plasters for weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  157. I have three pairs of shoes, two are for looking good

    One is for running

    But what are the other three shoes for? The same.

    ALTF: A good tip is to soak the shoes in water and then wear them barefoot to mould them to your feet shape.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Oddly, 903 is funnier once you've read XKCDsucks.

    My first thought was, "Haha, he's finally admitting he steals most of his ideas from teh Interwebz."

    And for making fun of himself, Randall has finally made a good comic. Good here meaning 'I laughed and enjoyed this, if for the wrong reasons'. Meta-humor and self-criticism are always legit in my book.

    (Daniel-Tosh-fanboy)

    ReplyDelete
  159. @River fair enough, although "nerds pretend to know stuff but really just look it up online" has been an observation for as long as the WWW's been alive. I guess it's funny if you're new to online culture[tm], which is certainly better than not being funny at all.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Mad women talking about shoes.

    Hot.

    ReplyDelete
  161. I've no choice but to confirm and acknowledge with definite assurance that if you don't like unicorns and ABBA, you're a fag.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Since when did having a shoe fetish become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  163. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Since when did shutting the fuck up become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  165. ahhh. some people, man. last time there was a Star Trek related comic, Rob made the EXACT same star wars/star trek joke and people are still fanboy bitchin' over it.

    ReplyDelete
  166. this one was by request, if you must know

    ReplyDelete
  167. UndercoverCuddlefishMay 25, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    @jon levi

    why would i read that

    ReplyDelete
  168. Since when did comics by request become okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  169. When did this site stop posting serious megan fanfic and become all about these boring reviews?

    This is ridiculous. If you want to say that randy's comic is stupid, you should find ways to segue each review into lurid depictions of randy/megan porn, not meticulously pick apart each strip. I remember when carl was in charge, things were yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah.

    Although I'm sure you'll all hate it, I like the latest comic. Partly because I do that myself all the time, and partly because randy seems to be making the rarely-seen lighthearted jab at himself, which I admire.
    I also like the way he did the backgrounds.

    ReplyDelete
  170. @ UndercoverCuddlefish

    Read what?

    ReplyDelete
  171. I agree with thepirateking, we need to go back to the megan-lactation fanfic.

    ReplyDelete
  172. SEE? PEOPLE ARE ASKING FOR IT

    ReplyDelete
  173. also 903 is fucking retarded, what moron doesn't know about sparkplugs.

    See now I manage to both insult randall and make myself feel intellectually superior to the dipshits who don't know what sparkplugs are until the read his comic. This is what we call killing two birds with one stone.

    ReplyDelete
  174. VES IS A HATE-CRIMINAL AGAINST BIRDS

    ReplyDelete
  175. I tried the 'trivia' in 903's mouseover text and it didn't work- I got to 'science' which starts an infinite loop.

    ReplyDelete
  176. I tried the trivia three times by hitting "random article." Each time, I ended up at philosophy, but only by getting to mathematics which leads to quantity -> property -> modern philosophy -> philosophy.

    ReplyDelete
  177. It's a lot easier if you start from the philosophy article.

    ReplyDelete
  178. so, Rob once again demonstrates that not only does he have nothing better to do than insult Randall Munroe, but he actually doesn't possess any of the knowledge that is common knowledge to the fans of XKCD. Instead of acknowledging that he doesn't get XKCD jokes because he doesn't have the background knowledge common to its reader base, he insults XKCD for not targeting him. In this criticism, he takes this ignorant arrogance a step farther, and pulls the entire criticism out of his ass.

    ReplyDelete
  179. wait, what knowledge am i lacking in this one

    ReplyDelete
  180. I tried it too. Never made my way to philosophy. I got to Linguistics, Taxonomy, and Social Sciences though.

    Oh wait no... no I clicked something in parenthesis, it does go to Philosophy. Through Mathematics. This is fun.

    I find the first link is often a simpler or more general form of the topic of the article, so it will eventually lead you to some sort of science...

    ReplyDelete
  181. you are soooo pathetic! You're juts using xkcd's popularity to boost your site. what a fuck up.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Chrome Logger evidently has something stuck up his ass.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Dude what are you talking about this is a STAR TREK reference (hence Picard and Troi)

    ReplyDelete
  184. that's clearly obi-wan and leia dude

    ReplyDelete