Thursday, May 7, 2009

Comic 580: A victory over Randall


Okay guys, there is one thing in particular I want to talk about here, but before we get to that I have a comic to summarize. Away we go:

In panel one, we see the skateboarders standing next to each other. This disappointed me, as we last saw Randall whizzing off into the vast white emptiness, and I had my hopes up that he would get lost out there and die. Alas, that was just a gag, and this mediocre story continues as before.

In panel two, Nathan Fillion is a bad sport and cunningly tricks Randall into picturing him naked. He has a penis and Randall has a penis, and this makes Randall hideously uncomfortable, enough to freeze him solid apparently. I don't know about you, but I am male and when I happen to think of other guys naked, it does not render me paralyzed with disgust. It probably means I'm gay, but whatever.

Panels everything else are just too boring for me to summarize. We finally get to the race, and it is maybe the least exciting race ever, since there's still no scenery. Half of the time we don't even get those wavy lines to indicate movement. We have more of Nathan's patented brand of wackiness, and it hasn't gotten any funnier since comic two when it appeared. Less so, actually. Also, thanks to the lack of a background, there's no perspective in panel eight and it looks like a miniature Randall is flying above Nathan's head.

In the last row, we have the punchline, and this is what I want to draw attention to, because as many of you noticed, I totally fucking called it. Yesterday, I wrote this:

'I was really hoping she [Summer Glau] would beat up someone, because that's what she does in the show, and then I could make a joke like, "yes Randall, you would love to get beat up by Summer Glau, wouldn't you."'

And today we have this:


Eerily similar, I know.

The way I see it, there are two possible explanations for this. Either Randall's comics are obvious and predictable, or I am psychic and am intercepting his thoughts from 500 miles away. I suspect the former, but either way, I win.

On a final note, I am so glad that Randall referred to her as "Miss Glau" and not Summer. That is what he would call her in real life, and there is a limit to how much fakery I can take.

33 comments:

  1. Oh, BRA-VO, Randall, make the whole thing end with a joke about Fox cancelling Firefly. Because if there's one thing this comic needed MORE of, it's whining about how Firefly ended too soon and Fox is evil and argh blargh fuck this shit.

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  2. I've never seen Firefly. But basically Summer Glau is just sort of always off in her own world and whenever she decides to come back to earth it is generally accompanied by some ass-kicking?

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  3. Actually Jay it's probably more likely that you're writing Randall's punchlines for him.

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  4. I have no idea what Firefly is, but I know how you guessed the punchline! YOU are Randall!

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  5. This is all a huge prank and Carl, Randall, and Jay are all the same person.

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  6. Check out today's alt text. Randy is really, really, really fixated on nude Nathan Fillion. Like, more than most girls are.

    Hey, I just noticed something -- where the fuck is Gina Torres, Alan Tudyk, or, y'know, the rest of the cast? Or does Randers' Firefly obsession merely extend to cast members he wants to fuck?

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  7. Actually, it's even more than I thought. More "Captain Tightpants." It's a nickname from the show but still. Talking about his "rugged good looks." Drawing Fake Nate fixated on "getting behind" him.

    Randall Munroe totally wants Nathan Fillion.

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  8. OH MY GOD.

    And taking that into account, Randy's inability to get naked Mal out of his head stems from LUST, not disgust. I rhymed and I didn't even know it.

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  9. "I don't know about you, but I am male and when I happen to think of other guys naked, it does not render me paralyzed with disgust. It probably means I'm gay, but whatever."

    I'd say it's because you're gaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

    You gay man, you.

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  10. Yeah Ramsey when I first read the comic I didn't think he was frozen from disgust but because the image was so captivating.

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  11. Your gay comment made me laugh. The comic series thus far hasn't.

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  12. Summer Glau - as River - is always kind of creepy and says things that sound crazy, but they're never as crazy and random and wacky as Randall's imitations. She goes back and forth between seeing things like they are and seeing things in a skewed, but not necessarily wrong, way, so her outbursts are at least related to what's going on. She doesn't sit around and say, "The cheese monkey paints a red terrier!"

    And - here's an interesting point, when you think about the implications - she only does the ass-kicking once in the show, and then about twice in the movie. (And in the show, it's a handful of gunshots that take about a second.) It's a relatively major part of her character that she's been experimented on and that the government wanted to make her into a weapon, but it's not like every episode of the show was about her beating people up.

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  13. I haven't read all the comments on this "story arc", so somebody might have beaten me to it -- but do you ever get the impression he is just trying to worm his way into meeting these people?

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  14. Am I the only one who's actually a little disappointed that today's comic wasn't longer? Not that I liked it - 4 and 5 were both pretty boring. But all of the other comics had a number of rows equal to their place in the series. Comic 5 only has 4 rows, though. C'mon Randall, you're usually all about patterns.

    Or maybe that's just part of the "joke"? The final battle would've taken up an extra row? I guess we'll never know...

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  15. Comic 5: Terrible.

    Randall has pulled off the sweep!

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  16. I'm starting to think that, yeah, maybe this blog is just an elaborate prank -- which is to make "criticisms" of xkcd that are so awful, so pointless and incoherent, that they make the comic better in retrospect. Except this week's series was so awful, that didn't even work.

    And why is Randall's sexual orientation so important here?

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  17. Cuddlefish PrimeMay 8, 2009 at 9:49 AM

    So most of you guys initially read the "Randall distracted by naked Mal" thing as being due to his omg-no-homo disgust at the thought? Because my initial reaction was "I have no idea what Mr. Fillion looks like, but wow, Randy sure has the hots for the guy."

    I have to admit though, I was mildly amused by the anti-climactic jab in comic 5. It was about as good of an ending as could have been salvaged from this epic dud of a series.

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  18. what i dont get is why he needs to explain every little fucking last detail. (Mal from firefly) - Cancelled by fox. Randall could stand to be more concise.

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  19. Conversation about the bad comics aside, all of you who haven't should watch Firefly. It's an excellent show. Seriously. Why would I lie? :-p

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  20. The Summer Glau episode of Big Bang Theory was on E4 yesterday. They mentioned Firefly like once. It was all just SARAH CONNOR SARAH CONNOR. I thought they were supposed to be nerds? It felt like an advert.

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  21. On a nitpicky note, I'm surprised Randall never fixed the missing quote in the 3rd row 3rd column of comic 4.

    And again, I can't look at comic 5 (and this series in particular) and just see tons of whitespace. Some art, Randall, please.

    This series was just lazily written and executed.

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  22. Nobody needs to watch Firefly, much less the Big Bang Theory.

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  23. You must be Randall... how the heck could you guess the punchline! lol

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  24. It's not about Randall's sexual orientation, it's about him creepily leching over Nathan Fillion. Here's Nathan himself re: creepily leching:

    "Naked/ass/sex references: I know you are trying to be complimentary, but if you knew me, you'd know I'm not comfortable with strangers talking to me like that unless they have had experience in fashion modeling, yoga instruction, or stripping. Nor does it make me feel that you are behind my work. Think of me as someone you have never met, a human being, deserving of your respect. "Show us your ass." does not fall under this criteria. Be cool."

    His leching over Summer Glau is equally creepy, for what it's worth.

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  25. Randall can't be attracted to Nathan Fillion because Nathan Fillion is over 15. (SNAP!)

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  26. OK guys, post will be up late tonight or possibly morning tomorrow. If you're staying up anticipating the latest incisive commentary from Jay, you can go to sleep.

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  27. COVIZAPIBETEFOKYMay 9, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    I'm not staying up.

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  28. I AM STILL AWAKE WAITING

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  29. Well, today I went through the XKCD archives and "unliked" every bad strip (read: most of them) through Stumbledupon. That should give me some variation, instead of stumbling on whatever site happened to steal a comic.

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  30. So, I kind of enjoyed the last five panels as a comic when taken out of context (i.e. without baggage of the other panels, or it being Miss Glau).

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  31. COVIZAPIBETEFOKYMay 9, 2009 at 6:36 PM

    YOU ASSHOLE JAY

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