Friday, February 6, 2009

Comic 540: Oh Is It A BASEBALL Metaphor?

base system

Isn't there supposed to be some rule that baseball is, like, inherently anti-sexual?

Look, Randy, unnecessarily complicated charts aren't funny. Nor is being intentionally nonsensical. Sure, you had a few gags here and there that were okay. And I suppose, if anyone ever used the analogy anymore, ever, maybe it was meant to be useful? I mean, I sure as hell didn't know what the "base" analogy meant. Maybe that's why it's just not that funny?

But it's just--

okay i can't go on like this. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE ART. She is fucking HOVERING OVER THE TOP OF A CHAIR. And then she does this fucked up spidery thing, like she is coming down to DEVOUR HER YOUNG, and then she's BACK TO THE FUCKING HOVERING. WHAT THE FUCK RANDALL. WHY DO YOUR WOMEN HOVER. Is that how it's going to be? In your world women never come into contact with... chairs? Why do you hate Jesus? Why do you hate freedom? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Moving on.

We have another nod at furries, which is, okay, creepy. And what the fuck? Napoleon's Forces? Random is not funny. Nonsensical is not funny. Anyone can do it, and you know what? It's not funny. There's a trick to it. You need to find something which is nonsensical but appears, at first glance, to make sense. It should be a "wait, what?" moment where you actually try to think about it. That's how you do random humor. You do not just randomly throw Napoleon into a sexual analogy.

Credit where it's due: I found the initial phases of conversation, apart from it being entirely unrealistic that I would ever have it with anyone, ever, kind of amusing. "I think that's... shortstop?" (Which is actually between first and second but I still liked it.) Then it took a dive into "I know, I will just THROW OUT A BUNCH OF RANDOM SPORTS TERMS" and then...

the hovering. the hovering. oh god the hovering

100 comments:

  1. the shortstop is between second and third.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shortstop is in between 2nd and 3rd, dogg. You might want to edit that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unless there's an infield shift, in which case...

    You know what, it doesn't matter. I entirely agree with Rob about this comic. The first few panels were pretty funny, and I couldn't finish reading the last panel.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I refuse to correct an error by someone who uses the word "dogg." It will stand, FOREVER.

    ReplyDelete
  5. CAPS LOCK IS CLEARLY CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL! SO IS SAYING FUCK A LOT! FUCK FUCK FUCK! SEE!? Now see how annoying that is? If you want to review a webcomic that's fine by me, but at least do it with a little dignity and wit.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm not reviewing it, I am openly mocking it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Also that wasn't very annoying of you, actually. Try again?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ohhh... now everything makes sense. Here I was giving you too much credit thinking you were trying to do an actual intellectual review. But all your doing is mocking.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ahahahahahaha. Oh man. Here you are all high and mighty with your "intellectual reviews" and you can't even get your/you're straight. Nice one!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ohhh! She's on *top* of the chair! I mean, those top-row panels were freaking me out for all sorts of other reasons, too, but at least that one is resolved.

    However, it has been replaced with "HOW IS THAT BENT LEG COMFORTABLE IN ANY WAY OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD" for the same panel.

    I think I need to just lie down and preathes *CAPTCHA

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sorry for posting so many times but AHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE GRAMMAR GODS WILL FROWN UPON ME TODAY. (P.S. Thank you for shaming me for that, no really that really bothers me when people do it and I think anyone, including myself should be publicly humiliated when they make that mistake) (P.P.S. Just because I want to read intellectual reviews doesn't make ME intellectual)

    ReplyDelete
  12. The tagline of this blog is "a vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness" but unwarranted means baseless. Lucky for you Randall covered your bases and brought enough for everyone today. (end bad joke)

    ReplyDelete
  13. drjon: No it isn't on both counts.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anyone spot the other 2 random jokes that are just random and not really funny? "Your Base", a reference to an old internet meme, "all your base belong to us", wow Randall, you are still way behind the times! Perhaps, however, this falls into the case where it appears that it fits, but then is random, as Rob mentions in the blog post.

    And what about the crappy "base 2" joke? (decode the binary into ascii, it says "base 2"). the binary in a sex joke doesn't fit at all!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, is THAT what "your base" is referencing? IT DOESN'T EVEN WORK AS A REFERENCE.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nah, I'm afraid you're wrong about this one. The only thing I might consider bad about this one is that a person doesn't know where to start reading.


    Napoleon's forces is just playing with the idea that it's a map. If the joke were ONLY the your base reference, it wouldn't be funny, but it's in a collage of other jokes that aren't just memes.

    And if you hadn't heard of the bases-as-sexual-activity-in-a-relationship analogy, God help you. That's certainly not Randall's fault.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It was nice to have three good strips in a row. I shouldn't feel let down so much. It was only expected.
    The img title attr. was meh and that's a good thing compared to the actual art :(

    ReplyDelete
  18. The panels were funny. The map just killed it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. GreaterSteven, King of Illiteracy: I had heard of it, but nobody uses it and nobody knows what they mean (because nobody uses it).

    ReplyDelete
  20. GreaterSteven: I have heard of the bases/sexual activity business before.

    That doesn't make the comic funny.

    Everyone else: Yeah I thought the panels were funny enough. The map was amusing, but definitely brought down the level of funny.

    Randall and his stupid AYB references! Just because it was funny then doesn't mean shoving it into a comic that talks about bases will be funny! Same with the damn "base 2" business.

    Cuddlefish: CAPSLOCK DEFINITELY /IS/ CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL and I have disabled it for you. At least you are okay with being mocked for sucky elementary grammatical mistakes. Maybe it is only semi-disabled for you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I actually liked this one, but then again, that's because I know a lot of people who do use the baseball metaphor (it's got its own wiki page, guys).

    Actually, everyone who's confused needs to go listen to "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf, which contains the best use of the baseball metaphor ever.

    ReplyDelete
  22. i thought the alt text was pretty funny. idk.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think Randall's safe with the "let me explain this sexual metaphor for you" setup, but there are multiple fouls in the last panel.

    Eye contact from Janeane Garofalo? 2Outfielders1Glove? Foul Ball? In the first case, no that requires too muck geekiness to be a valid joke, and in the latter two cases, poor execution. I prefer sex jokes over internet jokes and blank space over that stupid pun.

    Really, I'd be satisfied if this were as straightforward as the "conversion chart" comic, but some of the jokes stretch the diagram past its effective purpose, and the wax melts before the wings even glide.

    Also, just like with the conversion chart, I expect this one to become a poster/printout in all the wrong circles, namely, anyplace where such a poster would be acceptable.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I feel as if this one would have been great if it didn't have the last panel, but then growing up on frequent use of the baseball metaphors gave me copious nostalgia lols.

    ReplyDelete
  25. hey randall, wanna do us all a favor and stop coming up with these big comics with diagrams that you know some assholes are just gonna print and put on their dorm room doors/cubicles/gravestones?

    jackass.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I thought it was pretty good. I wish Randall would go back to making shitty comics, because this blog has become far less entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi, I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees the quality of xkcd decreasing. This last one, about sports, was what made me really realise it: xkcd isn't anymore what it used to be. It used to be about geeky (?) thoughts that I had as well, making me realise I wasn't the only one in the world. And there used to be classics, things I could hang up on the wall at my workplace. These days, it's all about current day events, sports, and too much about romance and not enough about the math, sarcasm and language. I miss the old xkcd days!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Meh, i have to agree with Cuddlefish. A lot of your jokes recently seem to be something along the lines of 'I AM TYPING IN CAPS. WHILE MOCKING RANDALL. HAR DE HAR DE HAR!' I mean, really, your criticisms are valid, and sometimes your blog is funny, but that joke = Lame.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Um.

    Like, not only is that not a 'joke', we've done it... twice in the last five comics? And only once was it even remotely substantial?

    Seriously, if your problem with something is that it features writing in all caps, you should probably devote some serious time to introspection. Sit back, relax, contemplate how it is your life has gotten to this point. Consider retiring and becoming a monk. Be at peace, with God and your fellow man.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Rob, I like your ad hominem attacks when I disagree with you! They're so friendly here at xkcd: overrated, and not just blind followers like the people at xkcd are to the opposite side.

    I have agreed with xkcd: overrated in the past. A few times, actually. In fact, there's a link to something I said in one of the recent posts on this site. Today I disagree, I explain why in a polite comment, using perfect english, and you start with the insults.

    Here's the deal--I am not the "king of illiteracy" for not reading that you had heard of the metaphor. Because you did write that you hadn't heard of the metaphor.

    "I mean, I sure as hell didn't know what the "base" analogy meant."

    Other than that, I can't see why you would refer to me as such...other than to be a dick with baseless accusations. Good day to you sir!

    ReplyDelete
  31. This is because you are illiterate, and lack basic reading comprehension skills. Were you capable of finer understanding of the written language, you would note that not one sentence earlier I implied having heard of it before.

    Fun fact: it is quite possible to have heard of something /without knowing what it means./ Indeed, it sees frequent use in pop culture, but often plays on the ambiguity inherent there! Give 'reading comprehension' a try some time, won't you?

    Also fun fact: I mostly insult people like you because you're kind of hilarious when you get all riled up and start being like "ZOMG AD HOMINEM" and "I CAN'T SEE WHY YOU WOULD SAY THAT YOU ARE CLEARLY DUMB AND I AM SMART." I giggle at your self-righteous "I AM LOGICAL AND POLITE AND PERFECT AT ENGLISH."

    Incidentally, there's a pretty glaring grammatical error in your comment.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sigh. Well, since this blog has jumped the internet shark of interpersonal hostility (I like metaphors, deal with it)... I won't feel bad providing this link.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm not riled up. The entire point of that previous comment was to emphasize the extent to which I am not riled up, and point out nicely why what you are doing is alienating people who are reasonable and often agree with you.

    If I can show you what you look like to the outsider--somebody who does not examine the comics with the intent of an honest review and in fact has to stretch to make jokes about why the comics are bad, as previous commentors have noted--perhaps you will change your ways and gather a more considerable following.

    As it is, people see zealotry not unlike the Cuddlefish for Randall. Every once and a while you fill in for Carl and you try very hard to mimic his comedy and very hard to think of jokes to make fun of xkcd and very hard to come off as superior to xkcd. And you fail, as you are failing right now.

    And as for the baseball analogy...the humor is found in the ambiguity? Like this comic?!

    No. Way.

    ReplyDelete
  34. "I am not riled up." Only people who are seething mad say things like that. You know that, right? You and your arch superiority. It's so cuddly!

    Anyway. You make a few false claims, like 'you try very hard.' I really don't! I put very little effort into it, actually, because XKCD is kind of shitty and doesn't merit me putting effort into it. I'm not trying to make jokes, even. I am just writing about the comic and hitting publish. Nor am I trying to emulate Carl's comedy! Actually basically everything you said that I am doing, I don't do. So, congratulations?

    In any case, you are quite correct--I'm not honestly reviewing the comics, I am, as I said previously, openly mocking them. Do you forget that you are reading "[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic?"

    As for your "representing the outsider"--I wonder if you can fathom the depths to which I don't care. We're not talking baseline apathy, here, like how you don't really care about that guy behind you missing the subway by a few seconds. Nor is it the sort of apathy that comes when you run into a friend from high school several years later, and find out they've gotten boring as the years wear on, all of the fun and life gone from them, and you just can't bring yourself to care about what they have to say.

    No, this is an apathy that fills the dark recesses of my psyche completely and utterly, a choking darkness of apathy, an apathy so deep and total it threatens to overwhelm the senses.

    Oh, protip: declaring yourself polite and reasonable is usually the easiest way to make yourself look like a pompous self-righteous douche. I actually actively try to alienate folks like you, so thanks for the word of encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
  35. The apathy shows.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poor soul tries to make a Parthian shot and aims at the wrong person.

    I'm not saying I don't care about your existence--I enjoy tormenting you! Especially since you've emasculated yourself into taking out your anger by pretending you're all polite and reasonable. I just don't care what you have to say, especially as regards to 'showing me what I look like to the outsider.'

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm not leaving. I read xkcd:overrated.

    Parthian shot is a cool phrase, though.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Point of order: Rob, I believe it's considered poor form to troll on your own site.

    ReplyDelete
  39. This hostility makes me feel melancholy in my sad place. :(

    ReplyDelete
  40. Oh Paddy, I missed your helpful link earlier! Except Google implies that you didn't know something and just made it up, instead of making a factual error. This makes your link not helpful! Fact-checking is for people who think they are not in possession of the facts, and also not for /random asides that have no bearing on the rest of the post./

    Jay: I try to cut back, but then people come and get all offended when I insult them like I do everyone, ever, and I just get so /excited./

    ReplyDelete
  41. I haven't posted here before, but I usually swing by to see your interpretations of xkcd. This thread has really kind of ruined this site for me.

    I really liked the premise that you despise xkcd enough that you made a whole website about it. However, your hostility toward GreaterSteven is so over the top that you are coming across as bitter and insecure about lots more than just xkcd. My level of respect for you has greatly diminished because of it.

    I am posting as anonymous only because I don't have a google blogger account, and don't feel like making one. Feel free to respond however you wish.

    - andy

    ReplyDelete
  42. Man, people are being all serious on the internet today. What is wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Rob I believe it is time to make hugs again. Huuuuuuugs

    Everyone else: Are you really taking Rob seriously?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Seriously I would suggest we add a disclaimer but nobody ever reads any of the disclaimers on this site.

    ReplyDelete
  45. None of the fly-by commenters ever really seem to read anything except for the stuff that bothers them. -_-

    Also, PEOPLE WHO POST AS ANON, there is a button you can press where you can enter your name and do not have to declare "I AM ONLY POSTING AS ANON BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT" YOU DO NOT NEED A BLOGGER ACCOUNT JUST PUSH THE BUTTON

    ReplyDelete
  46. The ones that confuse me are the ones that apparently read the comment threads but still haven't caught on to the fact that I am a simple monster who enjoys tormenting people :(

    ReplyDelete
  47. Exactly. I don't understand when people say they are regular readers but then get insulted by you.

    Rob if you insulted me now I would probably say "ha ha you are probably fat and alone." And then we would huggle it out.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Okay now I feel bad because I sort of pre-emptively insulted you.

    ReplyDelete
  49. It's true :(((

    Actually I am skinny and have ridiculous friends. SAME THING???

    ReplyDelete
  50. Well, I was actually more referring to, for instance, " WE'RE QUIRKY...AND WE'RE IN A QUIRKY RELATIONSHIP! A HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" WHY did it have to be all in caps? WHY WHY WHY?!!
    Also, did it ever occur to you that the people who post here are bitter empty shells as well? I sure am.

    ReplyDelete
  51. It's kind of a Dinosaur Comics thing.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Oh. Well, I guess that's alright then, 'cuz dinosaur comics is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Also a snarky blogging thing, come to think of it. I couldn't really explain it, but all caps alters the tone of something a great deal.

    As for bitter empty shells: don't be sad, Cuddlefis! (do you see what I did there?) This is a website about Caring.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I am NOT a cuddlefish, Ro. How could I be? They are sea-dwelling beasts who can't type.

    ReplyDelete
  55. It's not just the insults. When they're funny, go for it!

    It's just the general lack of funny, which, as I said, has been commented on already at several points in this thread.

    I'm just the long-winded embodiment of the general disappointment felt by readers who don't think that CAPS ARE AUTOMATICALLY FUNNY.

    And I don't care if it's a dinosaur comics thing, really. If I wanted to read dinosaur comics, I would read dinosaur comics. You do attack xkcd for using outside jokes, after all.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Also, what did you mean by " Only twice in the past five comics?' I can see caps in EVERY POST POSTED.
    For example, and I quote:
    'O'
    'H'
    'M'
    'I'
    As you can see, I have proven who is the term-stretching,bitter and lonely critic.
    - Some Gu

    ReplyDelete
  57. You'll understand when you're older, Stevey.

    ReplyDelete
  58. *posts condescending comment tooled to bother opponent but in actuality is completely pointless and transparent*

    ReplyDelete
  59. Isn't that what I said I've been doing the whole time?

    ReplyDelete
  60. I miss Carl. Rob week is like when your favorite show fires its writing team and tries very hard to make sure you're not aware of the fact. But despite delivering the same product... it's just not as good.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Aww thanks K, I love you too! Do you want to go out later, get some coffee, maybe some dinner or something? Or a movie? I'll call you, or you can call me when you're free, it's cool, I know you're busy, just let me know, all right?

    ReplyDelete
  62. LOL, SEX ON CHARTS

    ReplyDelete
  63. Oof. Poor Rob's feeling the heat. I almost feel bad now.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Nah. You have to expect it when you have a week of abnormally good comics. I mean, cut off the map on this one and you've got a decent comic with creepy-ass art.

    It just happened to coincide with my posting this week, so they have something convenient to blame! When it's Carl writing negative reviews of better-than-Randy's-average comics, they accuse him of jumping the shark or of dishonesty or something.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Rob, regular reader here; I hardly ever agree with you guys, but think the site's funny all the same. However, this time your commentary crap. It's not even funny. If I was to criticise this post in the same way you've criticised the comic it would go something like this: "Rob you're a fat lonely bastard, YOUR MUM'S A WHORE and your Dad killed himself because he was disappointed with your failure. Loser." As it is I'd never say such a thing, but I will say that your post is just made of pure fail.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Now, that's just not accurate. With the possible exception of the paragraph about the creepy-ass art, there's nothing in there which is ad hominem. Did you even read the post? Maybe you are confusing it with my responses to the comments? I know it can be hard to keep them apart, what with the one appearing on the front page and the other clearly being in the comment section.

    Seriously. There is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about the post itself. If you're going to call my post 'pure fail' could you at least respond to the post?

    ReplyDelete
  67. For those who don't know, the Napoleon's Forces marker is almost undoubtedly a reference to a graph by Charles Joseph Minard that depicts the march of Napoleon's men throughout Napoleon's 1812 invasion of Russia. It's pretty much the most ingenious informational graphic ever designed, so it seems only natural a graph comic like xkcd would EVENTUALLY reference it.

    Not that this reference is actually funny, mind you, it's just fitting with Randall's proclivity for referencing anything that, well, he feels like referencing at the moment.

    For information on Minard's graphical mastery, here's the Wikipedia page:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Joseph_Minard

    ReplyDelete
  68. Thank you for that terrible news, Linty.

    ReplyDelete
  69. OH MAN A BANDWAGON QUICK JUMP ON IT

    LOL ROB U SUCK

    ReplyDelete
  70. Wait, what´s with all this junk up above that I only now just looked at :(
    Rob's posts have generally been among my favorites!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Number of comments Rob has spawned with his posts over the last week: 152

    Number of comments Carl spawned two weeks ago: 104

    The math is irrefutable - Rob is more popular.

    Numb-owned!

    ReplyDelete
  72. It is because I am a monster, Linty. UNFIT 4 LYFE. DOWN WITH ROB
    DOWN WITH ROB
    DOWN WITH ROB

    (thanks, guys)

    Poore: Are you taking into account and removing comments made on my own posts? Because ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE MY SOCK PUPPETS I mean I have been posting a fair amount.

    ReplyDelete
  73. All this criticism of criticism makes me imagine someone making xkcdsuckssucks, for people who want to talk about how both xkcd and xkcdsucks have gone stale. Then I look and see that, naturally, Carl has already nabbed that URL.

    xkcdsuckssuckssucks is apparently available, however!

    ReplyDelete
  74. You know, I never would have predicted this as the most controversial post.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I DON'T HATE THE NEW COMIC WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONNNNN

    ReplyDelete
  76. Jay I dunno what's going on either but rest assured we are all disappointed in you here at xkcdsucks.

    Just kidding, I didn't really hate the new one either. But I didn't like it, either.

    Boy, Randall's really rockin' his furry references.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Sweet, another "your mom" joke.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Rob is severely disappointing. I'd much prefer Carl's more intelligent and less hypocritical criticisms.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Next we're going to see a comic about Randy's secret stash of yiff. I called it.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Find your own name, jackass. You actually prompted me to register a blogger account.

    Rob 4eva

    ReplyDelete
  81. Man, why do all of the internet people think they can call anything they want hypocritical and be accurate about it? I mean, I am not (1) making baseball sexual while claiming it is anti-sexual; (2) making unnecessarily complicated charts; (3) drawing hovering spider-monstrosity women; (3) making furry references; (4) adding Napoleon's forces to a chart about sex; (5) being deliberately nonsensical. I could go through other posts if you want.

    Hypocrisy refers to "the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform" (thanks, the OAD!)--the closest thing you could possibly come up with is saying my posts aren't funny (which I am not really claiming they are) while I am accusing Randall of also being not funny, which is not hypocrisy, because saying "Randall is not funny" is making absolutely no claims about myself.

    I mean, I know it's super fun to throw out 'hypocritical' because it's the only word longer than 'chicken' you know, but you should probably only use it when it actually applies, ie when someone is making claims about standards they don't actually have for themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Jay because of you I will now shout "FIND YOUR OWN NAME, JACKASS" to every Amanda I meet.

    Yeah I dunno why they call you hypocritical either, Rob. Or why they steal names. Maybe they think you are not being the kind of funny that you claim to find funny? But that is just too much thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Aww, man, I stole someone's name? That's unfortunate and not cool. I s'pose I'll find a new name to snatch.

    Rob I think it's pretty silly that you attack me and my point before even asking why I feel that way. I'm pondering if you're just that insecure.

    ReplyDelete
  84. No, I just think you're an idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  85. And all you knew of me is a nickname a few sentences. Once again, how silly.

    ReplyDelete
  86. More specifically, I knew that you are apparently not clever enough to spot the other person posting named Jay, despite him being a regular poster and having done so multiple times in this very thread, and that you are apparently not clever enough to know how to use the word 'hypocritical' correctly. Also, taking anything, ever, seriously on the internet? Not a sign of genius. (Actually a sign of being an idiot.)

    ReplyDelete
  87. Not seeing another poster's name does not really imply lack of intelligence. Not knowing all the regular posters at a website has nothing to do with intelligence. And to be honest, I get distracted and lazy, my apologies for failing to read all the comments here. I was clearly unaware of how much it determined my intelligence.

    As far as accusing me of using hypocritical incorrectly, how would you know? You have no idea what my reasoning behind it is and you haven't bothered to ask.

    I think it's silly that you consider me stupid when you entirely ignore any intelligent argument and continually insult those who criticize you. It's kind of adorable to be honest. For some reason it reminds me of an angry bulldog puppy.

    ReplyDelete
  88. (cute is what I am going for so thanks for the compliment!!!!)

    Tee hee, oh, you and your "nothing to do with intelligence." Look, I know you are using it incorrectly because the word hypocritical cannot be applied to my criticisms correctly. It's just not how the word is used. I could go through the earlier ones if you like and point out all the ways I am not making claims to moral standards I don't actually have.

    See, there's this thing we have in the English language, it is called definitions. Have you heard of them? They are what words mean! Hypocritical has a definition, which means it actually means something! That means that, when someone uses the word, people can understand what he means /without him ever explaining it/!!!!!!!! It's pretty neat, they just thought of it a few weeks ago.

    Unfortunately that means you can't hold anybody hostage to your definitions and say "wow you are so hypocritical" and then just smugly sit back and be like "ha ha he doesn't know what I mean because I haven't explained it."

    Anyway, I insult people because the intelligent folks out there spot that I am just being a dick, for laughs, and the rest of them provide more opportunity for said laughs, because people who take things seriously on the internet are kind of hilarious!

    The thing is, the actual /thing/ is, 'Rob's posts are more hypocritical and less intelligent,' is not an intelligent argument. It's kind of just a random insult! Those aren't very useful to anyone, but they are good for a laugh! So I make fun of it, for laughs.

    Even if you put reasoning behind it, it wouldn't have anything useful to say, because (a) I am not trying to be intelligent (b) I am not trying to make any moral claims (c) I don't really care if I am hypocritical about a webcomic (d) THIS IS THE INTERNET. So while I'm sure you're just chomping at the bit for me to ask you to loose the full fury of your poorly written words on me, defending your misuse of the word hypocrite in painstaking detail, I'm just not interested! But I will keep mocking you.

    Incidentally points abcd above are kind of why I "ignore" any "intelligent argument" and continually insult those who "criticize" me--they are really not attacking points I care about! Also, taking arguing seriously on the internet? Next you'll be calling it a 'debate.' I used to do that, actually! Then I /stopped being 17./

    ReplyDelete
  89. Rob, you're going about this wrong. You need to report Jfish to the authorities; his hypocrisy charge might break local laws for concealed weaponry!

    ReplyDelete
  90. You a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop.

    ReplyDelete
  91. In the middle of 3rd base, I got the binary joke.

    It made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I'm late, really late, but:

    Napolean's forces is a play on the "orgasm line" and the "maginot line".

    seriously...your critiques can be terrible

    ReplyDelete
  93. rob wrote this one! not me! I totally agree that rob sucks!

    ReplyDelete
  94. Rob, you are a complete failure at life if you have to poorly mock a comic strip just because your inferior mind cannot readily understand it. Get your head out of your ass before it effects your judgement too much more and you're reduced to a creature with less brains than the jellyfish. Though I doubt that'll help because your vocabulary suggests you have a monkey helping you with word choice.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Great, I have every comics art book available, gotta go get it! I met Randy and his Old museum in South Africa. Great person and he loved that drawings . I enjoyed this post very much, Thank You.

    ReplyDelete