Comics 492 and 493 Double Feature

I have a kind of biased reaction here, because my favorite math teacher in high school told us a story about playing Scrabble with her family that was basically identical to this (the word was "erection" though) so I personally felt a sense of "oh I've seen this before" when I read this comic but obviously no one else would feel that way (unless you were in my class). But hey, I laughed at the story my teacher told so I assume that had I not heard it I would have laughed here.

And at least he got the scrabble board details right, unlike SOME people I know, ahem, Mr. Douglas "the scrabble board I talk about is 13 by 13 squares" Adams! that's right I called you out, Adams!

I was amused to see how the Spanish-translation of xkcd worked on this one - see for yourself. It sees the need to change "hi" to "si" so there's a short word with an "i" but I guess there's no good way to get an eight letter word that will upset your family without changing the whole comic. Brings to mind interesting ideas about translating words vs. ideas.

update: A commenter writes, "The Spanish word for "clitoris" is "clitoris", so there's no need to find a different eight-letter word." This proves, once again, that I am an idiot. Sorry gang. Still interesting to think about what they would do if spanish didn't have the word "clitoris"! right? maybe?

But moving on....

Finally, the Mr. Hat we know and love has returned, if only for a short while. He's got all his usual characteristics - nerdiness, meanness, and a willingness to do far too much work in order to get clever revenge. Hopefully we never hear about his terrible romance ever again.

That said - I can't say I like the way this comic was presented. Mr. Hat's scheme is funny, but why have him just telling it afterwards? Why not show him at his computer messing with the trolls himself? Just seems like Randall kind of crippled the humor potential by just showing the post-prank discussion.

Still, this whole week has had well above average comics - perhaps there is a glimmer of hope after all! I wonder how many good comics in a row it would take to convince me I've done my job and my mission was completed.

Comic 491: If you know both "Twitter" and "Burma Shave Ads" Raise Your hand

I have never had a more complicated set of thoughts about an xkcd comic before, and they were mostly positive. I guess I should lay this out in terms of the various layers I thought about in the order they occurred to me and you can get a glimpse into the mad world of my mind comprehending this comic:

1. LAME we already know you love memes. Maybe old memes are brought up again because you keep bringing them up in your stupid comics.

2. Wait what the fuck ""burma shave" ? What is that, some stupid viral video from 2002? Ugh, if I don't get the joke no one will.

3. Off to wikipedia it is!

4. Huh. So...not really an internet meme, a kind of way-the-heck-long-time ago pre-internet meme. No way in hell most of his readers know that one.

5. So he's taken the Burma Shave meter and rhyme, and used it to talk about putting old memes on twitter, and in so doing has put an old meme on twitter. or did he just blow my mind

6. Wait a second. Twitter is probably full of burma shave jokes. That's basically the point of twitter for some people - come up with a meme (Sarah Palin facts!) and then spew out thousands and thousands of variations on it. So...he's basically just taking a meme on twitter and meta-ing it. Like rickrolling rick astley or, I dunno, having cats make lolhumans or something.

7. SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS!

8. Forumites still suck, and they can't write poems for shit.

Anyway, while my head is still spinning, I still think this is a way above average comic...but maybe it's too circular and some of you hate it. You all?


update: Ok, what the hell - The Onion: McCain Blasts Obama As Out Of Touch In Burma-Shave-Style Billboard Campaign. This is dated October 22, so two days later than the xkcd comic - so either those ads are way better known than I realized, The Onion doesn't think we'll notice, or it's a hell of a crazy coincidence. I have no idea. For what it's worth I think, unsurprisingly, that The Onion's joke is way better. In part because there are just more jokes, but also that it makes a political point about John McCain being old and out of touch.

Frequently Asked Awesome Questions

Hey there, cool people. If you were wondering any of this stuff well then I have got some answers for you. If you have any other questions you suspect are frequently asked, tell me and I'll add them.

And remember - this list is only awesome questions. If you have lame questions, go to the Lame Questions Page.

#1. What's your least favorite xkcd ever?

Oh man, that's tough. I certainly got pretty angry with comics 432, 455, and 475. Look at the "angriest rants" bar off to your left to see the ones that have pissed me off the most. The most irritating, just because it was so close to being good but made one fatal flaw that caused it to suck, was 398. Also, 631 was pretty epically horrible.

#2. What's your favorite?

An easy choice - Search History

#3. I have the best idea EVAR for a post here what can I do with that?

oooooh send it to me send it to me send it to me. czwheeler@gmail.com

#4. What else should I send you?

You should send me links to xkcd related anything - interviews, parodies, musings, etc. Also anything relating to the field of webcomic criticism. Or anything else. Examples of Randall having copied other people's ideas. Most anything.

#5. Does Randall Munroe know about this blog?

Yes.

#6. Wait, what? He does?

More details can be found here. Spoiler alert: he's not a fan!

#7. Wait, are you Randall Munroe?

NO, and stop asking me that. If I were Randall Munroe, I would a) be at least a little nicer, b) advertise this site on reddit all the time (I am not, unlike Randall, a reddit user), and c) probably have a lot more readers. Look, if you guys can think of a way for me to prove I'm not Randall Munroe, I'll do it. But all I can say is that I know for a fact he knows about the blog, he doesn't like it, and he's very much not me.

One time guest-poster Dr. Horrible IMd us both at the same time, to prove we were different. He had a substantial conversation with Randall; I just counted numbers so he knew I wasn't also writing to him as Randall from some other computer. Decide for yourself.

#8. What is the best possible thing I, as a reader, could do to make your life better?

Well the answer to that used to be "Comment on the posts" but it looks like we have a healthy community of people writing both important and utterly absurd posts as it is. If you are going to say something insightful - either pro- or anti- xkcd - I'd still say go ahead. Other than that - just remind your friends that xkcd sucks no matter what they think.

You can also digg this site, and tell your friends and enemies about it.

#9. What's with the Cuddlefish thing?

oh man. Basically it started 'round Christmastime, with a comic about cuttlefish. We were being vexed by the fact that too many commenters were not signing their names, which made it hard to have real conversations with them, not to mention refer to them individually. So we started calling them Cuddlefish, not that that actually helps to solve the problem, but it's fun and it's our first real xkcdsucks meme, so yay for that I guess.

Frequently Asked Irritating Self-Righteous Questions

Hello, dear reader! Are you here for the first time? Do you think xkcd is just the most precious and lovely comic ever to exist? Well you probably think I'm a giant douchebag then, for saying that your favorite precious comic sucks. And you probably have some very profound questions that I am totally unprepared for and have never, ever once considered so I have taken the liberty of reading your mind, transcribing your thoughts, and answering them here.

If you can contain your bitter rage long enough, you can also check out a more general but also more thought out website, 15 Stupid Responses to Criticism. I wholly endorse its message.

#1. "If xkcd sucks so much why do you read it? Just skip it you turd, some of us like intelligent comedy and if you are such a stupid idiot that you don't get the jokes just leave it alone."

Ah, a common misconception here. I do not hate xkcd because the jokes go over my lowly plebeian head, rather, I hate them because they are not funny. I get the joke (or rather, often what the joke is supposed to be) and I don't like it. Usually. Basically the answer is that is pains me to see lousy humor, and, like genocide, I simply cannot ignore it and have the problem go away. See Rob's Explanation for a much more logical, less offensive answer to this question (and one with which I entirely agree)

#2. "Why are you criticizing such a brilliant comic when you can't do better yourself? LAME."

Also a good question. But the fact is that few movie reviewers are movie makers, few theater critics are directors or actors, and few book reviewers are authors. In any case, there are times when I could do better myself, and have offered Helpful Critique. See here, here, here.

Rob has provided a good answer to this question, too: right here.

#3. "Why are you so mean spirited and evil? What are you hoping to accomplish?"

I am hoping to either get Randall Munroe to shape up and make better comics, admit that he's lost his touch and stop, or make enough fans see the light that they stop visiting and Randall Munroe drifts slowly into obscurity like a shriveled leaf in an ocean of forgotten love. I'd also be more than happy if he switched from comic to Picto-Blog.

In the short term, I'm trying to have fun, analyze humor, and be a bastion of enlightenment for those people who see xkcd for the washed up shadow of its former self that it is.

#4. "Dude it's supposed to be a comic about math and relationships and stuff. So why do you criticize it for doing just what it pretends to do?"

I understand that xkcd is in theory "a webcomic of sarcasm, math, romance and language", in some order. Those categories are perfectly broad enough for a lot of diverse humor. The problem is when it becomes a webcomic of "python references, shitty breakups, memes and charts" which I think are a bit too specific and feel repetitive quickly.

I don't think I ever say "lame, another joke about computers," I tend to say, "oh lame, another joke about meshing the line between humans and computers, whoop de do."

#5. "Aren't you just jealous?"

No, I would be jealous of him if he wrote good comics. I am jealous of Ryan North, who writes Dinosaur Comics. Once more, see Rob's more thoughtful, detailed answer if you would like a longer explanation.

#6. "Why are you picking on xkcd? Aren't there like ten thousand shitty webcomics out there?"

Yes, there are, but few seem to have the popularity of xkcd. I could always find stupid things to critique, but for the most part, I wouldn't feel like I had accomplished anything (HEY GUYS THE SIMPSONS KINDA SUCKS NOW just thought you should know ok cool we all agree great). It is not so much how much xkcd sucks as how overrated it is - the blog was originally titled just "xkcd: overrated" though that has since been changed to the punchier "xkcd sucks." In short: No other comic seems to combine the same amount of popularity and crappiness. Most popular comics are good, and most bad comics every can agree are bad. XKCD manages to escape that, and I want to change that.

For a related discussion, see my essay here.

#7. "Why are you so freaking humorless?"

I dunno. Childhood accident? I am a Trained Humor Analyst and everyone else in the world seems to think that analyzing humor destroys it, so perhaps there is some answer there. I, of course, being an Trained Humor Analyst know that this silly idea is false. If you want to know what I think is funny, try the following webcomics -

Perry Bible Fellowship
Dinosaur Comics
Achewood
Chainsawsuit
Married To The Sea

#8. "Isn't the whole point of this blog stupid, because humor is entirely subjective?"

OK. here's how it works. Obviously, different things are funny to different people. We all have different experiences and can relate to different things. Person A might laugh at a really great joke about the French Revolution and person B will have no idea what the point is because he never learned about the French Revolution. Or something. Anyway the point is there are clearly some things that people don't think are funny. I'm not talking about terminal diseases, where someone like Cyanide and Happiness makes a joke about it and people go "NOT FUNNY." I'm talking about plain old boring things. A man eats an apple. A yardsale gets rained out. A waiter is particularly friendly. Basically no one (Rob excluded of course) would laugh at those, right? There is something about those situations that is less funny than, say, a funny situation on Arrested Development (or whatever you happen to think is funny).

So there has to be some element of humor that is objective. If you can't agree with that, you are not going to like this blog, and you should probably leave. I'm not trying to be a dick (well, no more than usual) but it's just that we are a community that tries to discuss humor and get at the heart of it, and as a prerequisite, we think there is actually something to find. I don't think it's unreasonable, but then again, I don't think any of my opinions are unreasonable.

#9. "How long to you plan to continue this infantile blog?"

Until it stops being fun.

#10. "Aren't you predisposed to hate every xkcd because you write a blog that relies on them sucking?"

This is a very good question and a point I worry about a lot. I try as best as I can to be openminded, and not just say "eh that sucks" with no particular reason. I read the forums to see how people predisposed to like the comic think, and I encourage people who think I'm totally wrong to comment and explain why, and I have been known to admit that certain comics are better than I give them credit for.

#11. You motherfucker, it's not supposed to be funny. Lots of "comics" aren't funny, like Watchmen or Mark Trail or stuff. So stop saying it's such a problem that it isn't funny.

Man, I hate this question. Yes, I know that the medium of sequential art panels can be used for stories other than humorous ones. I wouldn't call those "comics" because that implies "comic" as in "comedy" etc. That's why nerds like me are so quick to point out that Watchmen is a "graphic novel."

But the point is this: xkcd is clearly trying, nearly all of the time, to be funny. He sets up the stories to have punchlines, in a way that only makes sense if it is intended as a joke. Look at his store - every item description has a joke tacked on to it. There are a tiny handful of comics - here are three examples - that don't even try, but usually what happens is that he tries to be funny, fails horribly, and then defenders claim that "well it wasn't supposed to be funny anyway." But it was.

See Rob's Rant on the subject.

#12. How come you don't know the difference between alt-text and title-text? Is it because you are a giant moron?

I still don't know why people care about this. Yes, yes, I know that the text that pops when you hover over an image is described, in the html, as the title="" whereas the text that appears in place of an image is alt="". So yeah a lot of people call the hover text the "title text" but I don't like that. For one thing, lots and lots of people call "title="" " the "alt-text". It's especially logical in xkcd, where the hover over text is alternate text for the comic; and the "alt="" " is the title of the comic.

"alt-text" also has a much nicer sound.

So I am sticking with that.

#13. "GRRRRR!!!!!"

Yes, yes, I know this makes you angry. Try to calm down, post a comment, write me an e-mail, and we can talk. I appreciate actual critique (I may be a douche but I'm not a hypocrite) and me and the regulars around here are startlingly rational. Let's be friends.

xkcd takes over Dinosaur Comics

So here we are - the much anticipated Randall Munroe guest stint at Dinosaur Comics. And I will say first that it was not as bad as I had feared. With xkcd, there are those comics I don't particularly like and there are those that actively make me mad (and, if go to the old ones, the third category of those I actually like).

So the first thing that jumps out at you, if you've been following the other guest week comics, is that Randall did not re-draw the traditional Dinosaur Comics panels in his own webcomic's style, as the other four did. I was actually really looking forward to this, but apparently he was perfectly happy to just type some words into the ordinary template and hit copy and paste and resize and bunch of times.

This is a tiny point that probably only bothers me, but - it really irritates me that T-Rex refers to telling a "dinosaur comics story." None of the characters ever refer to they are in a comic so it doesn't sound like "T-Rex" as much as "Some dude impersonating T-Rex" but since no one else probably noticed this I'll move on.

Let's see - we have the traditional "my concept of 'the sexy' is filled with sadness" that we've come to know and love so much, so that's reassuring. We have the odd notion that T-Rex "got closer and closer to" telling his story when he did no such thing (I mean you never get closer than 'It starts like this' which you just get to read over and over again) and just in case you missed it you are reminded that Randall has channeled Zeno's Paradox which is a mathematical concept that Randall knows about, you see. Even if this comic only relates to the paradox in terms of the rectangles getting smaller and smaller each time; the story does not, I think, get closer and closer to anything. Or lose a race to a turtle.


on a totally unrelated note, I love the current chainsawsuit comic.

Update: Reader Ariel points out that this comics recursiveness is rather reminiscent of the very first Abstruse Goose. Not saying Randall copied it, just something to remember when all the Munroe Fanboys are all like "ooooh that's so creative no one has EVER thought of that it has like literally infinity jokes omg omg omg" and then also I would add that this comic does, actually, approach an ending in a Zeno-like fashion, unlike the xkqwantzcd comic.