Thursday, October 20, 2011

Comic 966: xkcd sucks Was An Inside Job

jet fuel

[Comic title: Jet Fuel; alt text: The 'controlled demolition' theory was concocted by the government to distract us. '9/11 was an inside job' was an inside job!]

Normally I'm all about making fun of conspiracy theorists, because they are almost as dumb and predictable as internet atheists or jokes about how Randy has just thought of the best use for Megan's milk ever (OREOS!!!!!!). But Randy is incapable of making fun of someone he disagrees with without throwing in a strawman character who inevitably says "that is very clever of you to notice, Randy, you are as intelligent as milk is delicious and sensual."

Part of this is just the urge for post-punchline dialog, of course. I think he's afraid of telling a joke without showing someone responding to it, for fear that people might not realize how they are supposed to respond. But when he does his strawman comics, it always feels more like he's trying to cue to his audience: "See? I've thought up a clever way to fuck with conspiracy theorists that TOTALLY WORKS."

I admit I'm not given to hanging out with conspiracy theorists--I only like factually supported theories, like the fact that our president was smuggled into the US from Kenya by Bill Ayers as part of a communist plot to destroy democracy and capitalism after we thought the Cold War was over. But I get the distinct impression this would not hold water with actual 9/11 truthers, or chemtrail theorists. Which would be fine, if Randy weren't trying to give the impression that your typical conspiracy theorist would say "whoa, good point" when presented with this argument. That's just annoying. You can do better, Randy.

Well, no, you can't, obviously, or you would have done by now. But that's a thing that you say, you know?

63 comments:

  1. your typical conspiracy theoristOctober 20, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    whoa.
    good point!

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  2. Is it just me, or does this conspiracy theorist have weird hair?

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  3. Well, he has hair, which is inherently pretty weird

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  4. AS AN INTERNET ATHEIST I AM OFFENDED BY YOUR CLAIMS OF OUR PREDICTABILITY

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  5. Why does everyone think that the level of quality of XKCD strips is the most accurate indication of Randall's intelligence?

    On the Internet, making a shitty comic makes you some sort of retard except to your fanboys, and everyone likes to go round correcting every mistake they see, because they'll be seen a geniuses.

    You think people who make shitty comics are idiots? If you actually had any non-idiot friends, you'd know that a lot of intelligent, educated people make shitty comics.

    From my experience, those who correct said comics are mostly pseudointellectual drop outs, autistic fatasses, etc.

    On the other hand, shitty tv shows are totally cool: "I'm so terrible at plot I can't even make a show about shipwrecked retards that makes sense," when tv show creating ability directly with intelligence, and ignoring it serves no intelligible purpose.

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  6. I really do like how he basically stole the alt-text joke from South Park.

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  7. Whoah it took me to the end of Anon 11:35's post to realize that he was reciting that meme from the last thread... well played, Anon 11:35.

    As to the latest comic... why did randall put so much more effort into drawing this one? Is the joke really that funny?
    spoiler: no, it's not

    I like the alt text though.

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  8. Let's discuss something more interesting than this xkcd.

    When listing things in text form, do you prefer putting a comma after the second-to-last item or do you think the "and" replaces the comma? eg:
    x, y, and z
    or
    x, y and z

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  9. By train, plane and sedan chair, Peter Ustinov retraces a journey made by Mark Twain a century ago. The highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector.

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  10. i prefer retaining the comma because it can eliminate ambiguity when an item on your list has "and" in it already ("xkcd, cyanide and happiness, and ctrl alt delete are all crappy webcomics")

    oh, and this comic sucked. it might have been better if the alt text was the actual comic, but the "whoa. good point" would still be stupid for the reasons rob pointed out.

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  11. oh crap, i mixed up cyanide and happiness with the crappy xkcd clone that's posted here from time to time. c&h can be funny at times.

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  12. Today's xkcd (the particle/wave one): nice art, but hasn't Randall done something like this before? Or is it just such a generic joke that it seems familiar?

    He definitely seems to be running out of ideas. Maybe he should try studying one of the "lesser" sciences (like biology, chemistry[,] or even psychology) - by which I mean actually taking a class or reading some books instead of looking at Wikipedia articles - so that he can come up with some fresh material.

    CAPTCHA: gangs. What are you trying to tell me, CAPTCHA?

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  13. Robert'); DROP TABLE Posts;--October 21, 2011 at 1:47 AM

    Mwahahahaha! With the power of my name, I shall destroy Randall's vicious horde of detractors!

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  14. Robert'); DROP TABLE Posts;--October 21, 2011 at 1:47 AM

    Dammit! Foiled again! I'll get you next time, xkcd suckers!

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  15. Guys. The latest comic doesn't have nice art, it has like the baseline level of quality for mediocre novice digital illustration in 1998. Seriously it's like Randy went through his closet and found his Photoshop 4 book.

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  16. Of course, if they had seen it coming, Japan would have had tidal particles to deal with.

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  17. I'm pretty sure Randall just copypasta'd a picture he googled up and shoved his stick figures in there. In fact, I don't think he even draws the stick figures anymore.

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  18. Randall goes out if his way to draw this beautiful scene, and he can't even fucking connect the guys head to his body.

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  19. Rob is exactly wrong: Get rid of the first two dialog blocks, KEEP "whoa, good point!" and get rid of the alt-text*, and you have a very fine meta-comic.

    *If you do want alt-text, I think "GOOMH Randall" is not bad.

    This also applies to the next 2 xkcds.

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  20. Question from a newb: what's up with all the Megan's milk refs?

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  21. Marion I really have no idea what you're suggesting the comic should look like I demand a hastily done MSPaint edit.

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  22. Megan is a really perfect woman and her chief trait is being always right and her chief trait is zomg lactating, anon 9:16, and if you watch her sleeping through her window she even sleeps perfectly.

    Sometimes if you're looking at her sleeping through her window you have to put up your shields so Randy can't rifle through your mind.

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  23. Anonymous 9:40, I apologize: http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6211/6266661005_11913c7bff.jpg
    [alt text: GOOMH RANDALL!!!!!!!!!]

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  24. "Sometimes if you're looking at her sleeping through her window you have to put up your shields so Randy can't rifle through your mind."

    Don't you mean, "sometimes if you're looking at her sleeping through her window you have to stop making such a shitty comic, Randall"?

    Alt-text to this post: "(oh, and not stalking women would be good too.)"

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  25. What's that about "Randy" thinking of uses for Megan's milk? Where does it come from?

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  26. People wondering about the milk: Randall has a lactation fetish. See #858 and 821.

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  27. Oh and now that I'm looking at 821 (multiple 5-minute comics) again, he recycled one of them for 965. They both mash up childrens entertainment with the periodic table.

    Also, I object to the title of 967. The field of grain probably USED TO BE a prairie, but stopped being one once they planted grain.

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  28. So, Randall does two lactation comics and he suddenly has a fetish?

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  29. no, he's always had the fetish

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  30. an electronic box with words, this is preposterous!

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  31. 4:37, why would someone make two lactation comics if they didn't have a fetish? I'll grant they were brief mentions, but god damn did they speak VOLUMES.

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  32. also, he posted a Google Plus post about how neat he thinks breast milk is

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  33. The truth is more likely that Randall was doing lots of research about breast cancer, and he learnt a new word. "Lactation." He thought it was a moderately big and obscure one so he needed to find a way to show it off.

    But we like to make fun about sexual fetishes instead because it makes it easier to masturbate while reading xkcdsucks.

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  34. I don't think anyone thinks lactation is an obscure word. Not even Randall.

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  35. Man, you ruin XKCD for me. Almost every time I read a new XKCD I think "haha, this is a good one!" But then I read the XKCD sucks article about it, and I think "Oh, yeah. I guess it does kinda suck". And as you haven't made fun of the ALT text for this one, I still find it funny!

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  36. disconnected heads are his style so you cant make fun of him for it

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  37. Randy probably saw a GEICO commercial and got comic 967.

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  38. DEAR GOD I LOVE PRINCESS LUNA

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  39. @ Anon 4:40

    He stole it from South Park, tho.

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  40. South Park did it South Park did it

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  41. R.:

    :D

    I see we have the same taste in shitty webcomics.

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  42. ugh why did i check filibuster cartoons again

    it's still shite

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  43. Ann, you just wish you were Canadian so hard you cannot help yourself

    Captcha: angersil. Like a windowsil, only instead of framing a window, it's the only thing keeping your anger in place. Some are better designed than others.

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  44. SPUDRO SPARDE BUDRO BARDE 14/88 E/B/IN DOGOLA HUEHEUHUEHUEHEUEUEHUEHEUHEU 8======DDD

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  45. Still better than ALTF

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  46. Finnish chan memes > everything

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  47. The Western World Wanes. The days of the White race pass. We live in the last era of time, the third age. What will come next, no man knows.

    -Fourteen Eighty-Eight
    Internet poet and resistance fighter

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  48. >implying the holocaust happened

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  49. Terrible trolling 6:12, step up your game.

    Randall as of this writing you are TARDY.

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  50. more like REtardy amirite

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  51. I know, it's terrible that Randall simply doesn't update at 4:00 UTC without fail. But sometimes we have to wait up to THREE HOURS LONGER. How are we supposed to go without xkcd hate for THREE EXTRA HOURS?

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  52. I always thought he had a buffer of sorts that the website used to update automatically, and on time. Of course that would require that he actually devote more than 10 minutes a week on his webcomic.

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  53. Not bad, I thought.

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  54. Whoah - (968) - Randy just read Shakespeare's sonnet 130. I guess there is only so many ideas you can steal from webcomics.

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  55. ...are you seriously critizicing xkcd for using a "strawman character" when you constantly use "Randy" himself as a strawman character so you can critizice him?

    That was lame.

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  56. "... I only like factually supported theories, like the fact that our president was smuggled into the US from Kenya by Bill Ayers as part of a communist plot to destroy democracy and capitalism after we thought the Cold War was over..."

    Given that one statement alone that came from your keyboard I don't really think you are capable of judging what is funny and what is not, let alone what is scientifically accurate and what is utter hogwash.

    Just wondering, do you have a life or is bashing someone else with a popular comic your life?

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  57. ExpatZ, give this guy a break... I mean, if what he says is true, Randall Munroe raped his daughter... don't you think he has the right to at least attack his webcomic after that?

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  58. Anon 1:29, please refrain from implying that Randall Munroe raped his daughter. He didn't Own her: She is an independent human being capable of making her own bad decisions and, although young, she Was ripe for the taking.

    (Also: I use them AFTER the and, and also before or between!)

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  59. I am not implying anything, I am simply referencing something that Rob himself said, repeatedly, in this blog. If you don't believe me, read here:

    http://xkcdsucks.blogspot.com/2011/09/comics-950-and-951-around-world-of.html

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  60. sgirl, why don't you ever do this on active comment threads? you might get your message out better that way

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