Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Comic 959: Christmas Time Is Here

[Noted copyright criminal "The Pirate King" sent me this review for the one about King Wenceslas. So, you're welcome. -Ed.]

caroling

So, we've got a christmas carol comic in early october. That's cool I guess, I mean all the stores are gearing up for the holidays so why shouldn't xkcd? Or I don't know, maybe Randall's been working on this one for the better part of a year and finally found the courage to publish it. That would make more sense given this comic's track record with timeliness.

So it's another black hat guy comic. As much as I agree that randall has totally forgotten how to do these, I find them a relief from the usual crap, ie, some horrible pun, nerd reference, or emotional bullcrap. I mean who doesn't like some good ol' fashioned trolling?

That being said, this is a pretty tired joke. It's the setup where one character is trying to tell a joke or be enthusiastic about something, and another character kills it with tragedy, and then the first character feels guilty. "How dare you say that, my father was killed by a _____!" Randall is just putting it in a different context, and one that doesn't make any sense. According to Wikipedia, an infallible source of information on all things everywhere, King Wenceslaus didn't massacre anybody. So check your fucking facts, RANDALL.

I did find a tidbit in the alt text amusing, although not in the dark-humor way that randall intended it. To my knowledge, the phrase "a thousand generations" can come from only two sources; the Bible, or Star Wars. Since Randall has made it clear he is an atheist, I can only assume this is a Star Wars reference; possibly an unintentional one.

80 comments:

  1. Wait, the Pirate King still lives? GLORY BE THE PIRATE KING.

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  2. So I guess we should expect an xkcd comic about Steve Job's death in a few months.

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  3. This reminds me of the time when...

    Seriously, just one more thing...

    *BOOM*.

    It's been 123,456 hours and 5 days since Diana died. This time the tears will be virtual and the flowers artificial, but the sentiment will remain as annoying.

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  4. He already did one, over two years ago. 527 is gonna look nice and tasteless now.

    And thanks to you, DarkJesus, I'll always remember that I heard it here first, because it was 1:30am and I just HAD to check the xkcdsucks blog. Thank you for making this moment memorable.

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  5. That's 123,456 + 123.456 hours capitalist saint inter-death period, meaningful even for Eurofags who abuse the comma.

    QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY QUASI-RELIGIOUS CONSPIRACY

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  6. Ravenzomg, thanks, and nice icon. I've just been lurking more than posting.

    And JohnLevi, 527 was always tasteless.

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  7. We all have those days/weeks/months, PirateKing. I also wish everyone else had continued with Christmas Carol based posts. [[I was doing a very poor "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"]]

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  8. For what it's worth King Wenceslas' feast day in the Catholic Church was in late September, so that's possibly the inspiration for a christmas caroling comic this early. Of course even then it's late...

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  9. @Ravenzomg: Really? I was wondering what you were doing there. Should have responded in kind, but oh well.

    And REM3, I don't think randall would do something like that and not brag about it, either in the alt text or in post punchline dialogue.
    Come to think of it, this comic had no PPD. Bravo, randall.

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  10. What the hell does anyone be talking about now?

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  11. steve jobs is dead? get ready for another fun cancer comic, everyone!

    captcha: unfat (what rob is not)

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  12. Cancer = lolz amirite?

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  13. I don't really think that Randy necessarily thought King Wenceslas massacred anybody... I mean, it is black hat guy, and I just figured he was being, well, black hat guy.

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  14. but why is that supposed to be funny or interesting?

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  15. Because his hat... it's black. He's wearing a black hat, so anything he does is comedy gold if it's even the least bit dickish. He could throw a balloon full of vomit and it'd be hilarious.

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  16. JUST BECAUSE HE'S AN ATHEIST DOESN'T MEAN HE HASN'T READ THE BIBLE.

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  17. No, but it makes it pretty unlikely that he'd quote it randomly.

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  18. i don't remember the thousand generations bit in the bible, where is it

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  19. @Anon 11:47 No, but it does mean he's unlikely to reference it.

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  20. What if Good King Wenceslas was BAD King Wenceslas? xkcd explores.

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  21. I kinda liked the alt text. Not the thousand generations part, but the bit about feasting on Stephen. It's not comedy gold, but it made me chuckle a little, which is more than I can say for the comic.

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  22. Okay, so Randall must have been hit with the hugest spark of inspiration ever, because today's comic is great.

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  23. Since when does he update on Thursdays?

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  24. His wife informed him he'd be spending all day Friday sucking her dick, so this was his last chance.

    Captcha: muffe. Guess again, captcha generator.

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  25. While the "pause some act and replace it with a beachball" thing is about ten years old, it's been applied in a reasonably meaningful and timely fashion by Munroe here.

    I hated Jobs and hope he is burning in hell, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate good execution of a comic strip to milk his memory.

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  26. I ain't got no home, ain't got no shoes
    Ain't got no money, Ain't got no class
    Ain't got no skirts, Ain't got no sweater
    Ain't got no perfume Ain't got no bed
    Ain't got no mind,

    Ain't got no mother Ain't got no culture
    Ain't got no friends, aint got no schoolin'
    Ain't got no love, Ain't got no name
    Ain't got no ticket, Ain't got no token
    Ain't got no god

    and what have i got?
    why am i alive anyway?
    yeah what have i got?
    nobody can take away?...

    Got my hair. Got my head
    Got my brains, Got my ears
    Got my eyes, Got my nose
    Got my mouth, I got my smile

    I got my tongue, Got my chin
    Got my neck, Got my boobies
    Got my heart, Got my soul
    Got my back, I got my sex

    I got my arms, got my hands, got my fingers,
    got my legs, got my feet, got my toes,
    got my liver, got my blood..

    I've got life,
    i've got my freedom
    i've got life
    I've got life
    and I am gonna keep it
    I've got life
    and nobody's gonna take it away
    I've got life!

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  27. @Anon 8:29

    Hey, if you wanna flame Steve Jobs, then take it to the xkcd forums.

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  28. OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED
    OMG GUISE DIANA DIED

    of cancer this time.

    Take note, Randall.

    Jobs was a lot richer than your whore of a wife, and his money couldn't save him.

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  29. well that's not very nice

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  30. Dicksmash McIroncockOctober 6, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    How dare you call her a whore? She always makes guys do her up the ass, so that doesn't count as sex.

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  31. @Rob
    It's Exodus 20:6: "but showing love to a thousand [generations] of those who love me and keep my commandments"
    Translations vary on that one though, it seems.

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  32. R., your using a computer made by slave labourers working under an oppressive regime half way across the world as part of a global system of exploitation and resource appropriation isn't nice.

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  33. XKCDsucks sucks. XKCD is great. that is all

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  34. Haha. Slave laborers. Those guys got pwnt. In more than one sense.

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  35. As did I, by outliving Jobs. There is no god, and he is dust.

    All his billions but he is still no more.

    I live on.

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  36. haha 960 is mysteriously brilliant

    wtf :D

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  37. 11:26, it's "you're", not "your"

    dumbass

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  38. fake R., i am usually only facetiously hostile and i don't really care about your/you're

    you're getting better though

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  39. fake R. you are the reason I still post here

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  40. Slavey McSlavertonOctober 6, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Hey guys you can check out how many of my buddies you're making use of at http://slaveryfootprint.org/

    How not very nice are YOU?

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  41. Actually, R. 2:01, in this instance "your" is the proper homonym to use. Anon was using "using a computer made by slave labourers working under an oppressive regime half way across the world as part of a global system of exploitation and resource appropriation" as a noun, albeit an extremely long and descriptive one. It could be rephrased "Your use of a computer..." to a similar, but less obfuscated effect.

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  42. It's bizarre to use Wenceslaus I as an example though. His brother Boreslav, yes. The only thing Wenceslaus was ever accused of was authorizing or abetting the killing of John of Nepomuc, and that was probably a false charge, as well.

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  43. I think it's just a mondegreen - like little kids sing and think it's a feast of St. Stephen. Meaning, haha they ATE him haha! Still wouldn't make it a massacre.

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  44. @Slavey McSlaverton - I think you're missing the point. Slavery is not a club where you know every other slave.

    Back on topic...

    961 was good. The alt text explains the joke, but thankfully does not ruin it. I will point out though that Randall has had this comic in storage for months, and chose to post it just now. That is, it was not drawn specifically to mark Mr Jobs' passing, for two reasons:

    1) If it had, it would contain a reference to Mr Jobs in the alt text.

    and 2) Randall could not conceive and execute such a good idea in, what, 12 hours?

    Okay, you can carry on arguing now.

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  45. shadowsbane, my bad

    fake r, i don't use capital letters. you should know this by now

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  46. Shadowsbane. "Your use of" and "Your using" are not equ- aw fuck this.

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  47. Your misunderstanding of English grammar makes me a sad panda :-(

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  48. Anon352: That's the spirit. If you spend too many words telling people their corrected corrections are wrong, you let the terrorists win.

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  49. Ravenzomg: I believe you mean "If your using of too many words tells people their corrected corrections are wrong, you let Randy win."

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  50. IT'S A GERUND, YOU STUPID FUCKS. A GERUND.

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  51. UndercoverCuddlefishOctober 7, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    did you know that gerunds exist

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  52. What kind of people would attack someone they don't even know by calling her a whore, just 'cause she's the wife of the guy who makes jokes they don't like?

    ...oops, right, people who like this website! Sorry, keep on and enjoy your ability to insult. Mind you, repeating that on and on will not help you to learn how to argue... not that you care, I suppose.

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  53. good call! nobody cares about "learning how to argue" because none of us are in high school debate club, which is the only time that "learning how to argue" is ever going to be useful for anyone.

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  54. Meaning that you have no arguments, and you don't care about having them?

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  55. no, I have plenty, I just don't care about having them. one of these days, if you're lucky, you'll understand. but probably not.

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  56. Leaving aside whether you have arguments or not (oh, you do! But you don't want to use them... lol, does anyone buy that, seriously?), there are still the insults, completely uncalled for. How do you feel about them appearing in your page?

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  57. I don't see a problem with this comic.
    Mr. Black hat has a reputation of doing things nonsensical and/or destructive for the sake of ruining someone's day.
    He just wrecked caroling by invoking the fact that history has many sides to be interpreted. Whether it's true or not does not matter to Black hat himself.

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  58. I agree with the previous poster. Coming with something like "King Wenceslaus didn't massacre anybody. So check your fucking facts, RANDALL" is very retarded since the author is not stating that as a fact in any way. It's clearly the kind of evil joke BHG would make to a group of people caroling. But I guess you had to find something to critique, so you pretended to believe that was meant to be a historical fact.

    As for the previous-previous poster, I'd say the author of this blog actually encourages insults and is not shy to use them himself. Don't sweat it.

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  59. "there are still the insults, completely uncalled for. How do you feel about them appearing in your page? "

    i endorse them 100%. where the fuck have you been?

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  60. ...well, apparently, at a place called "respect", which I think you haven't heard of. So, when someone calls the wife of the guy who writes xkcd "a whore" and mocks of her cancer, you endorse it 100%? Why is that?

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  61. What is hilarious in someone having cancer?

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  62. look, i think you may have gotten the wrong blog

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  63. Whatever. What is hilarious in someone having cancer?

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  64. schadenfreude ist die schoenste freude

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  65. Yes, when someone steps on a banana skin and falls, or receives a pie in the face... but CANCER? And what about the "whore" bit? That one doesn't even have the schadenfreude excuse.

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  66. cancer is like a banana skin x1000, how is that not funny?

    and whore is one of the most hilarious words in the english language, look it up

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  67. Anon, cut him some slack... this guy does not have a succesful webcomic, despite being so good at criticizing others'. But he still can, at least, find some joy in others' misfortune, specially if those others are related to the guy with the succesful webcomic he hates for all those reasons that he doesn't want to mention. So again, don't sweat it.

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  68. if i don't want to mention them why have i written so many posts explaining why i hate xkcd

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  69. Explaining? But when someone questions your "arguments" you either attack that someone personally or pretend to be in posession of a truth that they cannot understand, like saying "one of these days, if you're lucky, you'll understand. but probably not", as to avoid, precisely, giving an explanation.

    Come on, you just said in this post that you had arguments but you didn't want to use them.

    I also note that you don't even mention the rest of my comment... sorry if I hit a nerve.

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  70. explanations are not arguments. there is a big difference that i hope to god you will figure out when you're older.

    i don't mention the rest of your comment because i don't care. suggesting that someone who has just said 'schadenfreude ist die schoenste freude' might enjoy himself a bit of schadenfreude is not a very interesting comment. did you really think that was clever or incisive in any way?

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  71. Are you actually interested in my answers to that?

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  72. I still don't get why all the hate. Is it really jealousy?

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  73. What the fu ck is a tidbit, you bowdlerising cu nt?

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  74. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tidbit

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