Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Comics 884 and 885: A Trip Into Randy's Deranged Mind

884. Randy is a man who lives a rich, milk-oriented fantasy life. He frequently comes up with all sorts of fantasies, most of which involve Megan in some way, and, as a man whose mind goes where it will, sometimes his mind takes him down the road to what will happen when eventually Stockholm syndrome kicks in and Megan relents to his endless advances.

"Oh yeah, we'll have a kid and it'll be a girl and she'll be fucking hot, like porn star hot," he moans to himself as he pours himself another glass of milk. He tries to drink it in such a fashion that it gives him a milk mustache. He imagines the mustache is Megan's.

His mind refuses to relinquish this thought. Randy promptly grabs a pen and begins drawing his hypothetical daughter as a porn star--completely naked, of course, as is the usual case with XKCD women--but then he realizes that this amazingly sexy and milk-endowed woman he is envisioning is his daughter! He must come up with a way to distance himself from these thoughts! And he has to make it funny to his audience. What's something unsexy that everyone loves?

Mr. Rogers! Let's go with that. Wasn't there some game where you came up with your porn star name? It involved streets or some shit, right? Cool, comic done. Back to masturbating to your hypothetical daughter.

885. Randy wants to let everyone know that he recycles, of course, but he also wants to let everyone know that the people at the recycling center have compiled an elaborate dossier on him, based on the things they gather from his house. They have even accurately concluded that he is what is colloquially referred to as an "asshole."

He is inaccurate in how they came to this conclusion, of course. He assumes it is because he is only intermittently concerned with making the recyclists' (do you like that? I just made that up right now) job easier that they have concluded this. Really it is mostly because every available surface he recycles has the word 'Megan' written on it, over and over and over again--and inflicting your creepiness on the poor people at the recycling center is pretty much the biggest dick move out there, next to possibly maintaining a hate blog for a comic you don't really even care about.

170 comments:

  1. You just mad Rob because you didn't get the first four posts in the Web's most popular hate blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Me: "Hey, my xkcdsucks RSS feed finally updated! Let's see what we've got. With all this time, Rob's bound to have come up with some quality material."

    xkcdsucks: "Randy is a man who lives a rich, milk-oriented fantasy life."

    Me: "What the balls."

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  4. Damn it Rob, now I'm masturbating to Randall's hypothetical daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. well, atleast Rob doesn't kill his own jokes, these last few "reviews" have been so bad that the material they are "reviewing" looks good by comparison.

    serously though, i chuckled at 885, if you have ever worked in a shitty job you know those kinds of thoughts DO go through your head, and as much as i hate GOOMH strips.... yeah.

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  6. You forgot how much of an arse he is for saying "given how much of my stuff they go through..." like he has to tell the world that he recycles and wants a fucking medal for it. He's like the people who get up for work at 6 every morning and can't stop talking about it at every available opportunity. I hate them.

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  7. I get up at two in the morning. I'd be late for work if I didn't, but I'm still very proud of it indeed.

    What about you, Randall? Ever worked, or is checking your email at NASA the closest you've ever come to doing so?

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  8. I worrked at ahh burger macdonakd's one tiem!

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  9. Bravo Rob, you exceeded all my expectations in creepification of 884.

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  10. Don't think you people are fooling anyone. Too weak to be jocks, never been good at any sports, but you've all secretly wished to be one. So you satisfy your needs by hiding on the internet and bully nerds from the distance like cowards. Too bad Randall is smarter and more successful than any of you yappy mutts will ever be.

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  11. Rob returns with a 'review' that proves he's as much of a failure and an embarrassment to the xkcdsucks brand as ever.

    Rob, you're an awful writer with no talent and your contrived "I don't care" attitude doesn't hide it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. We're too weak to be jocks
    And too dumb to be geeks
    Too fat to be cheerleaders
    And can't play in a band
    We don't belong with anyone
    So we form our own club
    Where we can hate some comic
    On the Internets.

    Because rhyming is hard.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You people disgust me, with your pathetic attempts to discredit Randall by portraying him as some kind of lazy, incompetent sex pervert. But I know, this is only a projection of your own deranged souls, onto Randall's infinitely magnanimous being. Every line Randall draws makes him more money than you do in a month, Rob, and your contempt is clearly just a misguided attempt to hide your jealous admiration, as Randall is brilliant, wise, funny and beautiful. He is everything you've ever wanted to be but couldn't because of your chicken like mind and manatee shaped body. You mock xkcd, because if you allowed yourselves to truly imbibe in its staggering profundity, the tentative grasp you hold on your delusions of competence would break, and you would be left with nothing but the knowledge that you have failed in every way imaginable.

    So, have fun. Keep living in the lie you call a life, but know that your self-deception will not continue forever, and that one day, the ground falls out beneath you, you will beg Randall Munroe to forgive you for all the suffering your wretched lies have cause him. But he will only laugh as you prostrate yourselves before him like sinners begging Jesus to save their souls even as they know it is too late. I'm giving you a chance; repent while you still can.

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  14. @Anon2:33

    What the fuck is this shit?

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  15. Anon 2:33,
    know of subtlety?

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  16. @Anon2:30

    You're experiencing what is commonly known as "taking shit a little too seriously."

    Nearly everyone who reads this probably also reads XKCD - it sort of falls into the category of "all publicity is good publicity," because since when has angry ranting ever changed anyone's mind about anything?

    That last line was pointed at you too. Now go take your blood pressure meds. Christ.

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  17. "...manatee shaped body."

    I laughed.

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  18. Anon 2:33

    read

    http://xkcdsucks.blogspot.com/2009/12/youre-just-jealous-or-how-i-learned-to.html

    ReplyDelete
  19. mfw people taking 2:33 seriously

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  20. god I wish you'd stop these stupid stories

    they're not funny, they're not insightful, they're just creepy

    not creepy in a "haha yeah randall sure is creepy right," creepy in a "holy shit you are obsessed with randall" way

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  21. It seems like Randy hasn't used the name "Megan" in quite a while. I can't even remember the last time a character was actually referred to as "Megan." Is it possible that he's seen sites like this and has decided to never again use the name "Megan," lest he be seen as a creepy stalker? I realize that he knows about xkcdsucks, but he's also said he doesn't look at it...but does he? I don't know why else he'd stop using the name "Megan." Or maybe it's just my imagination. When is the last time he actually referred to "Megan" in a strip?

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  22. We're da XSB, born to hate,
    An' we get mo' pussy than you can contemplate,
    Rob, lay down a beat so's we can step,
    Get ready for da motherfuckas wi' da rep.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I work a nine-to-five, pimpin' hos to nerds,
    I make 'em feel alive when they felt disturbed,
    Capn's here to keep dat pussy crunchin',
    All covered in milk but still ready for munchin'.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Step back, boys, I roll with the XSB,
    You bitches ain't got nuttin' on Ravenzomg,
    You fuck wi' me an' I'll stick you up in a slashfic,
    Robdall fillin' yo ass wi' sick dick.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm Ann Apolis, doctor of pain,
    I operate on cuddlefish balls and brains,
    Anyone who gets loose gets the Goose,
    I'll fuck em up the ass til they feel Abtruse.

    ReplyDelete
  26. When I step up in da room I make y'all niggas fists itch,
    Cos my style is tight and all o' dem bitches
    Are up on ma dick XKCD Suckin',
    That's why they call me The Kitten Of Fuckin'

    ReplyDelete
  27. Welp, that's an hour of my life I'm never getting back.

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  28. Whatever happened to including the comics in the post? Now I need to visit Randy's webpage...

    ReplyDelete
  29. I have a confession to make.

    I... liked Rob's review.

    Captcha: Tonic. If only that meant something I could make some kind of joke.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Charles Augustus FortescueApril 14, 2011 at 7:11 AM

    I'm Charles Augustus Fortescue.
    Why am I here? I've really little clue
    But before you object, let me give you this knowledge:
    You're Reddy Brek, I'm a proper bowl of porridge.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anyone else reckon Carl wishes he'd sampled some of Rob's writing before he handed the website over?

    XkcdSucks now is like those three Doors albums they released after Jim Morrison died.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Carl is on his honeymoon in the Bahamas, his face buried in the cleavage of the new Thai bride he bought with the ad revenue. He no longer cares what's going on here.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Someone has mentioned there's no reason why Randall specifies the street in Cambridge, Ma, as opposed to any other Rogers Street. I think it's so that one lucky xkcd fan who lives on that street can say "GOOMHR, I live here!!!"

    Actually having written that down I realise how stupid that is. Randall would have got far more GOOMHR if he hadn't specified a city. Silly Randall, HIRE ME AS YOUR EDITOR.

    ReplyDelete
  34. XSB rap = best thing to happen to this comment thread.

    EVER.

    Also, comics are dull and stupid. But that's not really of any importance.

    CAPTCHA: tredd. I'mma call Judge Tredd to correct this shit!

    ReplyDelete
  35. What what, it's the G repping XSB,
    Putting all the hate on xkcd.
    The reviews I write have insult and insight,
    Fighting the blight of the nerds' White Knight.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Couldn't be bothered to make a doppleganger rhyme for me, eh Superkitten?

    ReplyDelete
  37. I AM THE LAW.

    Of this comment thread.

    That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  38. 'm Pro-mole 'n 'm here to say
    I pull more bitches then the N-W-A
    When I'm not mackin' mad puss-y
    I'm keepin' it real at webcomics dot me

    ReplyDelete
  39. It took me an hour to do those ones, Gamer, an hour I really, really shouldn't have wasted.

    I regret nothing though.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Gamer two thousand up in dis shit
    Betta step off before yo' ass get lit
    I can be reasonable, yes it's true
    But all of those cuddlefish get a big FUCK YOU

    ReplyDelete
  41. I am Aquarius and I like to fuck
    other than that my rhymes just suck
    If you try fucking me, and I get nada
    I'll bite off ur cock with my vagina dentatta

    ReplyDelete
  42. I think you should concentrate on how XKCD sucks and not on Randy's pitiful persona. After all, Elton John is too a despicable homo, but we love him regardless, right?

    ReplyDelete
  43. In other news, I will be picking up the latest Beastie Boys album.

    Since the only rap I enjoy is rap by white people or jews.

    Captcha: butfu, the ancient honorable art of being a homo

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  44. I think both the recent comics were very not good and not in anyway funny, but I admit that I've thought the same thing as presented in 885, so at least points to that one for being relateable?

    Also:
    Yes Goga, my thoughts exactly, minus the (sarcastic?) homophobic aspect of it.

    But I did lol at your post Rob, even though I usually really dislike troll reviews, good job.

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  45. This is seriously the most despicable thing I've ever seen with these eyes, and I was blind for the first 15 years of my life. You are all scum who've probably never even dated a girl, contributing nothing to this wonderful world except for necrotic decay and lactiferous bile.

    You're clearly just jealous of Randall's magnificent creations while you cannot even create your own work, because you're all just talentless hacks and jerks to boot.

    But I don't care what you do on your own, because I know that even though you don't have a single clue, that the fires of Hell will, in the end, consume each and every last one of you.

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  46. Wait, are these condescending commenters still just blog members with nothing better to contribute, or are the XKCD shippers actually taking that much time out of their girl-devoid existence to post arguments on a site dedicated to meaningless criticism and trolling like the Aspies they are? 'Cause I was assuming the first, but I don't know any more.

    ....Oh, and "zing" soyoucan'tsayI'mmean.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Awww. ravEnonymous thinks he's making a difference in the world. That's adorable.

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  48. Even if it is just Kitten trolling.

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  49. I don't know why other actual Xkcdsucks members hate Rob's story reviews. Gamer_2k4, you should know by now that there is usually little left to actually say about the comic. I am disappointed in you.

    Rob, I love your reviews and I want to keep reading them forever.

    But I'm not going to Xkcd ever again after 888, and I'm never even going to read ANY Xkcd strip again after 900. So, please, for me, put more effort into your stories in the coming reviews.

    ReplyDelete
  50. @ravEnonymous

    Obvious strawman is obvious.

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  51. My god.
    This isn't just trolls trolling.
    This is trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls. Seriously, there has to be at least 15 layers here.

    I salute you all.

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  52. I'm pretty sure there's a layer of actual butt-hurt xkcd fans in there somewhere.

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  53. Yo my name's ravEnonymous and I'm really just jealous
    Of this awesome hate blog created by you good fellas
    So before I fuck off let me say now
    That I've been on the internet longer than my mum will allow

    ReplyDelete
  54. @Jon Levi: Well that IS the point, or I wouldn't have made the name so obvious, would I?

    Oh yeah I would because I'm a vanity whore, right. Right.

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  55. THIS IS THE KIND OF STRIFE I LIVE FOR

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  56. I think it was Kitten because he knows you like puns and obviously wants in your pants.

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  57. I was going say that Rob was a creepy, milk-obsessed fucker and all that, but looking at this comment thread it's obvious this place is crashing and burning.

    Enjoy what time you have left here.

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  58. *Raises hand* Okay, the second ravEnonymous was done by me.

    Although how do you know. This could be a doppelganger posing an Jon Levi. The real Jon Levi could be... uh fine. I've never really been doppelganged. *sigh*

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  59. Cuddlefish here representin' like no otha'
    We all be gettin off makin' jokes 'bout yo' motha'
    Sucka's be talkin' bout' milk and megan
    We'll be in th' echochamber where Randy's cock we'll be beggin'

    ReplyDelete
  60. The answer is blogger accounts. Then even if SOMEONE [who are we kidding?] uses your display-pic/display name/changes the profile info, you are always "_____-##". EG: I am Ravenzomg-58.

    Granted, the above can still fool the less observant birds.

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  61. oh my god this is now officially the worst place ever on the internet ever since some fucker decided to post lousy verses

    ReplyDelete
  62. Best. Definitely the best.

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  63. I'd also like to say that I would quite like to get into Raven's pants.

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  64. Why not Ann or ALT-F? Why don't they get any love?

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  65. Ann be man

    ALT-F be salt chef

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  66. Those two are dudes.

    Captcha: coansub, a Buddah for a day.

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  67. Because Alt-F is self-admitted paedo and I'm keeping Ann to myself.

    Next question?

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  68. BEST place. The reviews are getting better and better.

    rvnozmg will you run for president

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  69. You can't tie me down like that, Raven.

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  70. Ignore that. You can tie me down any way you like.

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  71. Also, I'm not so immodest as to put my credentials right there in my name.

    The avatar pic does the job fine.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Hi
    I'm R

    captcha: nutscran

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  73. R representin' with only one letta'
    Only one char, but neva' looked any betta'
    Cool and aloof and not even funny
    I measured mah dick and it came out to 220

    ReplyDelete
  74. Yo my name's Jon Levi and I'm here to say
    That I got got doppelganged on XSB today
    It felt kinda neat to have someone wearin' my persona
    Though I'd rather not be sayin' that it gave me a boner

    ReplyDelete
  75. They call me Big Rob cos I fill up a room,
    I'll consume Big Macs til mah heart is entombed
    In lard made hard by years of hate,
    I disregard 'tards 'n put reviews up late.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Yo, I'm M.C. Quine and I'm here to say,
    "Yo, I'm M.C. Quine and I'm here to say!"

    ReplyDelete
  77. The review for 884 is hysterical.

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  78. @MC Quine

    You shut your whore mouth.

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  79. Jesus why is there no comic yet? RANDY I NEED SOMETHING TO BE ANGRY ABOUT.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Today's Ctrl Alt Del is full of racism.

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  81. Series of Small Jokes > one actual joke? You decide.

    I smiled at some of them so okay. Ignoring the lack of art ['cause this probably took longer than most "art" "comics" he makes], it's half-amusing which is 40-50% further along the way towards amusing than normal.

    Points!

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  82. Wall of fucking text. I'm not reading this shit comic.

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  83. 886 is kind of amusing. Not great, but it was amusing. If this were Randy's B- comic I'd still be reading his comic with sincerity instead of oh-so-hip irony.

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  84. I can just imagine the Megan jokes to come.

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  85. http://www.webcitation.org/5xxLDkIss

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  86. When I imagine Megan jokes I come.

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  87. Fucking awful. It's like watching a terrible stand up comedy act. I'm having bad flashbacks, because we have a lot of these in Russia.

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  88. Thanks, Gamer_2k4 and Professional Mole. I've given credit to both of you, which I can remove if you want. Thanks for the help.

    ReplyDelete
  89. honestly
    i kind of liked the "is a submarine" one

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  90. oh my god i just looked at apartments on craigslist too

    goomhr

    but if randall's fans enjoy the "oh, you didn't like that joke? well how about this one!" model, why change it?

    ReplyDelete
  91. http://www.cad-comic.com/images/Strip1630.png

    NEVER FORGET

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  92. 3:39 - hmm, there is a different one on the site. WTF. Somebody should've webcited it.

    ReplyDelete
  93. That link is one Buckley put up himself, along with some rapid backpedalling:

    http://www.cad-comic.com/

    ReplyDelete
  94. I had no idea buckley was that much of a stupid fuckhead. Here's the deal, timmy: the reason its funny when standup comedians do stereotype humor (in most cases) is because their punchline is more than "ha ha black people steal", it satirizes the stereotypes. For reference look no further than Chris Rock's genius "niggers vs black people" sketch. Furthermore, most of the comedians who perform racial humor are minorities, because as carlin himself put it, "we know richard pryor isn't a racist when he uses that word, cause he's a nigger!" A stereotype joke falls flat when its from a member of the oppressing party. And its a testament to your stupid fuckheadery that I even have to spell this out.

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  95. "I had no idea buckley was that much of a stupid fuckhead."
    you didnt? the abortion storyline didnt tip you off? or all the other stupid shit its had over the years?

    ReplyDelete
  96. *miscarriage, whatever.

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  97. @ Timofei

    The original can be found on the site. There's a link posted underneath the new comic at the end of the wall of text.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Fucking awful. It's like watching a terrible stand up comedy act. I'm having bad flashbacks, because we have a lot of these in Russia.

    In Russia you have lots of bad flashbacks, or lots of terrible stand up comedy acts? Both?

    Insert Smirnoff Soviet Russia joke.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Halcyon: well, that's pretty respectable of him. Randy never acknowledges when he changes the comic.

    Raven: I meant bad stand up comedians of course. I realized the potential for confusion right after I made my post, but decided against making a follow up on such a trivial thing.

    ReplyDelete
  100. DO YOU HEAR THAT RANDALL?!

    TIM B^UCKLEY ACKNOWLEDGES HIS DO OVERS!

    TIM B^UCKLEY HAS BECOME MORE RESPECTABLE THAN YOU!

    ... just fucking end yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  101. start getting Dick Clark out of his iron long ...

    Reboot does a Redux countdown: 10

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  102. Newest SMBC: quite funny, though the structure of the joke means there isn't really a punchline (obviously the frayed knot bit looks like one, but you know that's going to happen, and the ACTUAL joke is the whole conversion to action scene thing) so it loses something.
    I did laugh out loud at the votey though. (Maybe the votey is fulfilling the role of punchline in the original comic, hence it being where I laughed? HUMOUR ANALYSIS)

    CAPTCHA: restr. A Web 2.0 hotel booking service.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Randall is clever and cool enough to avoid the cliché of "When all else fails, do a penis joke", because he's way past that.

    His mantra is another one: "When all else fails, do a lot of references".

    The forumites say the "square house" may be a Minecraft joke. Is it possible? THREE jokes about Minecraft in rapid succession? Oh, holy crap.

    ReplyDelete
  104. The forumites are stupid, useless human trash.

    They're like children, nothing they say matters.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Seriously, you guys? Are you going to denigrate an entire group of people like that just because they like something you don't? There's REALLY no reason for you to go into the xkcd forums if you don't like it. And just for the record, it is full of funny and intelligent people.

    Oh, and don't bother pointing out the irony of me coming here to say that. I'm not the one outright insulting people for no reason.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Awww. moliphant thinks he's making a difference in the world. That's adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  107. @moliphant

    Protip: I'm a singular, not a plural.

    And yes I will denigrate an entire group of people like that, because:

    a) I'm a terrible human being, and that is par for the course.
    b) It amuses me.
    c) wut I did thar?
    d) This is the internet.
    e) You guys do a great job denigrating yourselves, you don't need any help from me ;)

    ReplyDelete
  108. Not really. It's actually kind of annoying and pointless. You're just not going to make us feel bad, ever.

    Though if you're a troll, you can make us feel mad. People around here are pretty stupid about falling for the trolls.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Reading comprehension much?

    e) You guys do a great job denigrating yourselves, you don't need any help from me ;)

    ReplyDelete
  110. Kind of ironic there, Capn. It isn't me posting at 9:54. They were on your side in fact, so maybe you should learn to read properly.

    That said, you made it pretty clear you are just typical internet trolls. Everyone seems to think that just because they're on the internet, they can act like they want. No-one here would act like this to someone in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I would. I punched a baby yesterday.

    And it was a female baby.

    A female baby who was holding a kitten.

    ReplyDelete
  112. And she had down syndrome.

    Captcha: dowit. Dowit, faggot!

    ReplyDelete
  113. lol @ cuddlefish opinions counting for or against anything.

    Mabe if the forumites weren't such terrible people, Ann wouldn't have to punch so many babies.

    Stop being terrible people xkcd forum, the babies will thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  114. http://www.cad-forums.com/showthread.php?t=113618

    racists are funny because they don't know they're racist. s/funny/sad/

    on the other hand, xkcd forumites are idiots. don't get me wrong, some of my best friends enjoy xkcd (somehow). s/idiots/nazi pedophiles/

    ReplyDelete
  115. If it weren't for people like Buckley I wouldn't be aware of half these crazy stereotypes about American niggers. Never has a minority generated such an intricate reputation. They're like a modern mythological monster.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Tim said he produced THREE versions. Your loveable Raven has tracked down the third, which was never shown because in the end Tim thought it too disrespectful to his audience.

    Behold the unbeholdable! If you don't get it I'm not explaining it, but if you don't get it, why are you on this site??

    ReplyDelete
  117. I didn't get any of the references (other than the Death Star, and Pripyat after I looked it up), but I still found this so funny in a surrealistic way that I laughed so hard that it hurt each of the four times that I read through it.

    ReplyDelete
  118. this is impressively late, but i have been busy so fuck all of you

    http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/9919/leftbehind.png

    ReplyDelete
  119. Actually it's not. It's not really actively awful either, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired (I get that the long, drawn-out, repetitious nature is supposed to emphasise that it's nagging and all, but there must be ways of showing that that don't kill the momentum).

    But there is an actual attempt to make a humourous statement there, so I guess give him credit for that.

    ReplyDelete
  120. I didn't find it very funny at all- and I quite like Abtruse Goose.

    ReplyDelete
  121. http://www.myvideo.de/watch/7194759/Loriot_Das_Ei_is_Hart

    Abstruse Goose is basically the same thing as this classical German cartoon from the 80s, only less funny, and with less pronounced characters.
    I think we should talk about classical German comics in here more often.

    And which Ann Apolis is the right one? I'm confused.

    ReplyDelete
  122. @5:35 - That would be me. If you mouseover my name, the blogger profile number that comes up in the URL should end in -64.

    @5:08 - You are a very confused individual.

    ReplyDelete
  123. (DOUBLE FACEPALM AT THE XKCDSUCKS COMMENT BOX, PLEASE!)

    Wow, Abstruse Goose devolved into newspaper comic humor! That's The Lockhorns, only with slighly worse art!

    And if he was just going to copy-paste 7 panels, he should as well bother drawing the background on them.

    Oh, and xkcd is boring, trite and full of references. As I call it, the "throw as many jokes at your reader as fast as you can until they give up and just laugh" approach to humor. Goodness...

    ReplyDelete
  124. The correct Ann Apolis is me; I end in -01, my question is about having water in my ear, and (most convincingly) my blog Radio Ember is url'd at radioember.blogspot.com rather than aquarianlovetofuck.blogspot.com . I've also had an account since April '09 rather than February '11.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Baby Got Dorsum
    I like steatopyga and I cannot lie
    You other brothers can't deny


    It's aquarianslovetofuck.blogspot.com and the account started in Nov. '06 and ended 4 months later (I went to a pay site) and I never impersonate anyone, ever.

    Innit?

    ReplyDelete
  126. Looks like the doppelganging has run out of juice. Guess I'll just start writing XSB slashfic.

    Raven/Ann is the obvious choice here, but Capn/ALT-F is giving me some interesting ideas...

    Also, pay site?

    ReplyDelete
  127. One must pay for the privilege of spritzing my word salads Delirium Tremens.
    Funny enough subscriptions are never renewed.

    Dear Capn I know you love me so
    But I'd rather peer into my beer.
    You know I'd be there working on your ass
    Had it not been for your mass.

    Apologies to Susan, The West Coast and Donovan

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  128. Killer Fact!

    No huamn bein has bin killd by a cassowary since 1926, but thta dosnt mean teh casowarys arnt stil tryin! They atacked 150 ppl from 1989 to 1999. an we cna only asume there tactics wil grow moar sophisticated as they continue too sutdy oar behavior. So dont turn ur back on em!

    Inint?

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  129. There are so many people on the xkcd forum saying "GOOMH" on the basis that they recently went through house/apartment hunting. The acronym is meaning less and less all the time. By the end of the year people will be GOOMHing every comic that was written in the same language that they speak on a daily basis.

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  130. GOOMH, Anon3:06! I was just thinking that very thing about the forums!

    You should make a webcomic.

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  131. GOOMH, Anon3:37! I was just thinking about webcomics!

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  132. boiled onion headApril 17, 2011 at 2:21 AM

    i love yelling "FUCKLEY" at the top of my lungs

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  133. GOOMH Levi I love GOOMH

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  134. GOOMH, everybody, there are too many voices already =[

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  135. Everyone get inside my head*! I'm lonely. :-(

    *Except you, Anon:3:37, who I already told to get out of my head.

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  136. All these bitches be givin each other head or some shit. Shit's tight, yo.
    GOOMH, too, bitches.

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  137. IN WHICH I EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW MUCH BETTER I AM. EDUCATE YOURSELVES.

    Title: Children of an Ideal Brain

    Why am I writing this, they can't even read. Not really.
    A man executes a piece of art, perfectly formed and designed. It is one of many. This is his job but the pay is irrelevant. He wouldn't want to disappoint, if he were able. He is an expert, a genius, a visionary. A thousand words in an ape language, a cheap tongue. Beyond his time. Beyond the end of time.
    A million see and revel. They know.They laugh and move on. A waste. Maybe in time.
    Five billion do not see, and are forever unfulfiled. Pity is the only word, and this time language does not disappoint.
    Some see, and are consumed by how pointless they realise they will always be, as reflected on them by the Most Holy High. They once knew or think they know but now... They know nothing. Nothing at all. It is warped. Males but not men. People but not persons. Living but no lives.
    One sees. One disagrees. He knows, he truly does. Raging againt the Heavens with impotent emotion. One posts a concise dissertation on the subject, in poetic terms. A "comment." One weeps to his dead dreams and ideals, stolen by this Devil's Smithy of empty and opposite words. Cynicism lives.
    Every first breath I take I spend loathing you. With every second I love Mr Munroe and myself. And life is complete. The systole and diastole of the of the human hate.
    Perhaps you serve a purpose. Even barbers, I suppose.

    -William Monty Hughes esq
    IQ Immeasurable by current tests
    "Cogito Ergo Sum"

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  138. UndercoverCuddlefishApril 17, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    in which i explain to you how much more concise i am

    educate yourself

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  139. @WM Hughes

    Respiration =/= cardiac cycle.

    You are a fool, sir, a pitiful fool.

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  140. They are basically identical*.
    One carries oxygen around the body. The other carries oxygen around the body (half of the time.)

    QED.

    *You fucking plebeian.


    -William Monty Hughes esq
    IQ Immeasurable by current tests
    "Cogito Ergo Sum"

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  141. Is your IQ well below that testable? I feel that is the only way you would equate two systems that are so vibrantly different, even if they are so reliant upon one another.

    Do you attempt to breathe through your ventricles? It may explain the brevity of your intelligence quotient.

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  142. brev·i·ty/ˈbrevitē/Noun
    1. Concise and exact use of words in writing or speech.
    2. Shortness of time. More »

    I don't think that word means what you think it means. Philistine. (This is a reference to "Princes' Bride".

    -William Monty Hughes esq
    IQ too high to be measured by current systems
    "Cogito Ergo Sum"

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  143. Merely a test to see how willing you are to point out minor errors. Much like your little 'Princes' Bride' hook.

    You are as transparent as you are vulgar.

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  144. William Huge! I was under the impression that you had abandoned us forever, after you were mistaken for the Buddha whilst holidaying in Japan and thus took up a job dispensing wisdom for the benefit of the locals.

    Pray tell, what brings you back amongst us?

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  145. "Some see, and are consumed by how pointless they realise they will always be, as reflected on them by the Most Holy High. They once knew or think they know but now... They know nothing. Nothing at all. It is warped. Males but not men. People but not persons. Living but no lives."

    GOOMH! I was just thinking that!!!

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  146. GOOMH, Jon Levi -- I was about to say GOOMH to him!

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  147. First time here. Disappointed.

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  148. Second time here. Still disappointed.

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  149. this is like my millionth time here and i'm still disappointed

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  150. "William Huge! I was under the impression that you had abandoned us forever, after you were mistaken for the Buddha whilst holidaying in Japan and thus took up a job dispensing wisdom for the benefit of the locals."

    So you are saying I am tall and thin? FAIL. I am a genius and you know nothing. Although I do have a propensity for, as we say, propagating wisdom. Even a broken human is right twice a day (re: you.) Learn your world religions, idiot. This isn't a pop culture ignorance fiesta, although sometimes I wonder.

    Hmph, I know more about worthless religions* than the idiot theist. This comes as no surprise, as theists are naturally yokelbrood and I am naturally so very clever.

    *All of them. All religions and all theists.

    -William Monty Hughes esq
    IQ too high to be measured by current systems
    "Cogito Ergo Sum"

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  151. YES, THEISTS LIKE THOMAS BAYES, THOMAS AQUINAS, JOHN LENNON WERE ALL IDIOTS WITH NOTHING TO ADD TO HUMANITY. BUT THAT'S OK LET'S PRETEND HUMAN DEVELOPMENT AND THEISM ARE COMPLETELY DIVISIBLE AND THAT THEISM DID NOT BRING GOOD AS WELL AS BAD.

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  152. john lennon's real name was actually thomas lennon

    OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE

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  153. Imagine there's no Heaven
    It's easy if you try
    No hell below us
    Above us only sky
    Imagine all the people
    Living for today

    Imagine there's no countries
    It isn't hard to do
    Nothing to kill or die for
    And no religion too
    Imagine all the people
    Living life in peace

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  154. But R you moron he says 'IMAGINE there's no heaven', this clearly implies he thinks there is a heaven, otherwise why would you have to imagine it?

    are you working for Satan R is that what this is

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