Sunday, April 26, 2009

Comic 573: Fucking with people

shit tons of shit
This comic is dumb in about five ways and I have written a whole bunch of different opening lines to this post but none can sufficiently contain the dumb glare this comic inspired in me. So consider these the ravings of a half-insane me, in no particular order:

-Really? We're supposed to assume that this girl has never been upset once before? That she hasn't noticed her horrible speech problem ever in her life?

-Also, I don't get it - if she doesn't believe her dad, why is she upset at all?

-Fucking up someone's vocal chords doesn't count as "trolling," it falls into the related category of "violent physical abuse"

-I am so fucking tired of rickrolling. Stop it. ok?

-Rickrolling does not, and never will, represent our generation to the next one, no matter how hard you try. Our pranks are awesome: We troll people by invading their countries and destroying everything, so beat that, future kids.

-Ha ha, the idea of messing with young children so you can control them later in life is so funny! I laughed almost as hard as when you did this the first time!

-I guess the crazy hair is supposed to be because it is The Future? That and the fact that we have apparently invented chairs that people merely float above! Oh, the future will be an exciting time - oh no wait, Randall always draws floaty people. Well, that 70s Ikea chair can be the indication that we are in The Future. Also the hugely specific label declaring this to be "The Future."

There's a truly terrible trope, among lousy comedians, that this comic has perfectly: I can't quite describe it, but it's where you loudly refer to some crazy and unlikely occurrence, only to have that thing happen right then. When done poorly, as here, it just feels very staged and terribly unrealistic. "We made it so your vocal chords are messed up!" "No you didn blargh hareghasdg." For the perfect example of this, read the alt text to Comic 533. Doesn't that feel so very contrived? Doesn't that make you feel all gross?


I'm not sure this post captures my rage as well as I'd like, but just so it's clear: I hate this comic.

73 comments:

  1. I'm surprised you hated it with so much passion. I thought the timing/dialogue should have been sharper, but the joke as it is doesn't seem so bad.

    On a more practical level, "speech center" does not equal "vocal cords." The comic is referring to psychological conditioning rather than physical mutilation -- significantly less visceral and far more insidious.

    Also the trope you are thinking of has its spiritual twin in the more annoying "two days to retirement" syndrome. If a police officer talks about his impending retirement, loving wife, children, etc. -- his violent demise is all but assured. This trope is to my understanding, a form of dramatic irony. The comedic opposite I would reckon to be a degenerate form of Chekhov's gun.

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  2. I think I hated it for the small things: Rickrolling, messing with your kids for fun, predictability of the joke. I agree that it's related to the tropes you mention, but I think it's more annoying with comedy, because there has to be a certain amount of unpredictability with comedy, and this trope is always super-predictable.

    JAY IF YOU READ THIS SEND ME AN E-MAIL YOU LAZY MAN

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  3. Her hair is in pigtails? I didn't think it was all that crazy ._. Then again, since women tend to have the same haircut in XKCD, I guess it's kind of crazy?

    I was going to say something else, about post-hypnotic suggestion instead of this bizarre speech-centers thing, but I realized that it was still pretty terrible of a thing to do to your child, and so I stopped.

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  4. Carl, did Randall upset you so much that he disrupted the ranty part of your brain? :P

    It's ok I hated this one too.

    Where have all the cowboys (of ranting) gone?

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  5. I don't know...it was just like, lots of little bad things. I couldn't get super worked up about any of them, and couldn't get worked up about the terrible whole they made.

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  6. What the fuck? This isn't funny, it's just gross. Ha ha, I gave my daughter a severe psychological condition so I could win an argument against her! And then I was enough of a sick evil fuck to chuckle about.

    I don't know what Randall was going for here, but he sure as fuck didn't attain it.

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  7. I made the same joke once, except it involved abuse in the form of raising a kid that could only speak binary and one day holding up a flashcard with a giant 2, and it didn't need accompanying stick figures either.

    Except the way this one is told, it involves severe mental abuse equivalent to ripping out someone's vocal cords and giving them a feeling of being smothered every time they're trying to speak. That's not funny; that's sick.

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  8. Broca's area is most likely what we'd be talking about here, for the record.

    But yeah, I'm definitely voting for creepy on this one. Along with the issue of implausible timing, it's particularly disturbing because this parent-inflicted brain damage is essentially only funny in one situation: this one. This is the punchline for which this girl's mental health has been sacrificed. Seriously, when else would this be funny, even taking into account only situations where she's upset at her father? Who'd want to raise a kid who can't express herself when upset? Not only is the contrived timing pretty lame, but it's also really the only thing creating any humor in the situation at all.

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  9. Guys, I don't think this fits under the defintion of trolling

    I don't think this is what trolling is

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  10. New comic is up, "swine flu"

    It's an unfunny ripoff of the "it was a soundstage on mars" comic.

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  11. I knew it was only a matter of time after Twitter exploded in popularity before Randall would use Twitter in one of his comics. Because that's just how Randall is.

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  12. These last two are horrible (and both copies of old comics). It's hard to believe Randall is even trying any more. Also hard to believe he's making a living off this shit.

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  13. Soundstage on mars was, compared to today's, almost subtle. To satirize something you have to exaggerate a real element of that something. You can't just go into random insanity.

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  14. This XKCD is appalling. I raged.

    Old meme? Check
    Girl? Check
    Nerdy reference? Check
    Worst XKCD ever? Check

    Seriously, Randy... Rick Astley?? The fuck.

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  15. Hey, Carl, I just stumbled upon this website. I've read through a few or your posts and can't say I agree with all the things I've seen, but I agree the comic is not as good as it once was. I have to agree with the idea that it's mostly the fans that annoy me. To use a video game example, I hate Final Fantasy 7 way more than I should just because of its idiotic fanbase.

    Anyway, the point of this comment was that I'm constantly impressed by your restraint in dealing with the commenters who are obvious blind xkcd lovers. Your outward willingness to engage in actual discussion with obvious trolls is nice to see on the internet.

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  16. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I think that the humour in the alt-text of 533 was meant to derive from the unabashed blatantness of it - like that episode of Charm Offensive where they write a Casualty script:

    "SCENE 1. Gosh, I hope I don't get stung by a bee today, what with me being allergic to bee stings and all.

    SCENE 2. No, of course I'm not too drunk to enter the beehive-juggling contest!".

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  17. The twitter one is just horrible. It's the exact same comic as the YouTube comments one--it even has one of the same users.

    At least this way you have indisputable evidence he's jumped the shark, Carl. The way he's retreading these comics, good and bad ones, really says that he has nothing even remotely resembling new ideas.

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  18. Re: the first two points, maybe she's upset about finding out he conditioned her like that on purpose?

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  19. Carl, this isn't related, but I think the alt text of comic 112 makes it another failed relationship strip:
    http://xkcd.com/112/

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  20. If you thought this one was bad, you really need to see this.

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  21. "I've said it before and I'll say it again - I think that the humour in the alt-text of 533 was meant to derive from the unabashed blatantness of it"

    Negative. The humor is not subtle in that one, it's a joke taken directly from bash.org. (I'd go find it but bash is blocked at work here).

    What's more, that joke was basically a meme at one point long ago (before memes were memes), so it's just another instance of Randall directly reffing memes for laughs.

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  22. i got your back john:

    http://bash.org/?5775

    comic 112 is a little too abstract to totally be a failed relationship comic I think but I can add it with an asterisk or something.

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  23. maybe her hair should be a reference to something? could be a reference to Nena from the mecha anime series Gundam

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  24. Well, you guys seemed to cover everything.

    1) Rickrolling is old. It has been old for a very long time. It probably was old when most of xkcd's readership learned what it was. Like most memes, it was dead before it became mainstream. It won't be remembered, unless unoriginal hacks keep on using it as a crutch.

    2) Punchline: Oh look, the horrifying child abuse I just described is now manifested in you, my child. Teehee!

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  25. I liked comic 574. Especially the last panel. That's easily a contender for best XKCD line.
    @Realist: go on Yahoo Answers(I refuse to type the excalamation mark) and search for vaccination. So yeah.

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  26. Also note he is doing real art here. Come on Randall, have a go.

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  27. Erm... I probably ought to point out... that girl? She's not real... Randall doesn't... WHAT AM I SAYING? He conditioned her like that so NO-ONE WOULD HEAR HER SCREAMS WHEN HE KNIFECRIMED HER

    NO HES COMING FOR ME

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAGhhhhhhhhhhhhhg

    Also: fair point on the bash.org thing, I guess.

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  28. I would never say that posters on popular websites aren't stupid or don't make stupid posts. But their stupidity has a recognizable structure, a rhythm, that was relatively well captured by the youtube version of this comic and not captured at all by 574. The twits in 574 are just too aware of their surroundings to be real or satirically exaggerated internet morons. Swine flu is god's punishment for nanobots?

    So while youtube captured stupidity with just the right level of exaggeration that we could recognize the target, this one is just another one of Randall's bland, heavy handed, reference-filled filler comics. Boring and forgettable.

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  29. My heart aches with pain
    I vomit when I see you
    Die away from me

    A haiku about you guys.

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  30. That's from That 70s Show, you jackass.

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  31. Don't you think it's a bit much to expect that he create a new trope that no one's ever seen? TV, movies, music, books, web comics, most of the stuff is just the same ideas recycled over and over again. There's a website devoted to reoccurring themes in media, and there are tons of elements used over and over again in the same thing. He just runs a webcomic, he's not a professional cartoonists. Get off of your throne.

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  32. @Rob: I didn't say it wasn't. I just said I was being knifecrimed. AND YOU DID NOTHINNG

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  33. While he is not multiple cartoonists, Randall is making a living off XKCD. So he is, in fact, a professional cartoonist.

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  34. Good eye, Alex. Steven Hyde, to be precise.

    It makes my point though.

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  35. Listen Ann. I would have helped you but I just stone cold hate women AND WANT THEM ALL TO DIE so, you know, whatevs. MORE POWER TO THE STABBINS.

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  36. It was also just used in the thread where haiku happened, when I wrote one about haircuts!

    Hey does anyone happen to know if Randy's Megan happens to go to Berklee?

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  37. @Rob: Not a woman, just a pun on the capital of Maryland. Would "Steve Apolis" work? Would it? Eh? EH?

    Fresh haiku time!

    People called Randy:
    Munroe, cartoons on the web
    Newman, writes good songs

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  38. The only thing even moderately OK about the latest comic is the reference to the Pandemic flash game (re: Madagascar), but even that has been long played out by 4chan (much like most things Randall cleverly references).

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  39. You are a woman if I SAY you are a woman, WOMAN.

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  40. No, no, it wasn't, Rob. All my material is fresh and original and exciting!!

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  41. RANDALL ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH A BERKLEE STUDENT

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  42. i love this blog. xkcd is way overrated. thank you for this. thank you very much.

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  43. Dude if she goes to Berklee I will be Amanda to Berklee like Rob is apparently to Randy's friends and family on the east coast. SOMEONE FIND OUT AND I WILL HUNT HER DOWN

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  44. I uh. I think I maybe met her this Friday.

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  45. rob i can't tell if you are being serious

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  46. I can't tell! There was a Megan at the party I was at and her friends were talking to her about someone named Randall and I was like 'there are some questions I am just not going to ask' AND NOW I WILL NEVER KNOW

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  47. god rob that was your moment for greatness and you just kicked it out of the window

    what is wrong with you

    CAPTCHA: prefab <-- ROB

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  48. It's always been a "lazy" comic. Where is the craft nowadays? Really.

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  49. Dude, seriously. Fridge logic moments and the fact that this is another Rick Astley moment? That's all you've got?

    Suppose I'll stop by when you've commented on the twitter comic, maybe you'll say something interesting there

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  50. Tris, are you just trolling? What do you expect from this blog?

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  51. Hm, I've been waiting for the right time to comment on this blog, but I haven't quite figured out when that is so I'm posting now >.>

    Carl, you have no idea how happy you made me when you posted a link to Pictures for Sad Children. My friends who read xkcd think I'm weird to read it but now I have proof that people CAN read both. And I appreciate the effort and care that you put into this blog. It adds an extra layer of understanding to the webcomic for me since for some reason I never know ANY of the memes.

    Now that that's done with, this comic sickened me like it did many others and I was distinctly disappointed in the twitter comic when I realized that he didn't even necessarily come up with his own lines. I mean, he used the one that Hanners actually had on her twitter than another webcomic artist came up with >.> Maybe if it was all webcomic characters it would have been more interesting?

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  52. @rob: It probably wasn't her. Call me crazy but I have a sneaking suspicion that Megan does not know the extent of Randall's affections for her; possibly even Randall's existence. Therefore I find it unlikely her friends would be talking to her about him as if he was some sort of high-school dreamboat that had expressed an interest in her...

    ...this is Randall we are talking about, after all.

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  53. I'm, like some others who posted here, surprised at the passion of your post =\. I didn't like this comic, and I agreed with MOST every point, except perhaps the one about "say some unlikely occurrence and OH! IT HAPPENS!" (even though that can be a *really* *awful* joke).

    I didn't like it either, but not to the degree of passion you held it to.



    Also, i actually kind of like the current xkcd. #574. :p.

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  54. Guys, think this through.

    1. Randall Munroe is a paedo. (evidence: see this blog passim)
    2. Randall Munroe loves Megan in a creepy way. (evidence: ibid)
    three dots in a triangle Megan is too young for university.

    Do you even read this blog, people?

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  55. What all do we know about Megan? How do we even know of Megan at all?

    I'm not doubting anything, I just don't remember how the whole 'Megan' thing came into canonical being.

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  56. It's because I put her in all my comics...

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  57. It's because he used the name a couple times and so everybody assumed he's a pedo for some reason. I guess the name Megan sounds young. (Tip: if you use the word "paedo", you're wrong. Period.)

    The trope referred to is like Chekhov's Gun but instant. It's in Scrubs. A lot. Like...it is Scrubs. That's all Scrubs is.

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  58. i for one don't think there's actually a megan...

    Thank you, Miyuki, for your kind encouragement.

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  59. Dr. S, it's a running thing on this blog that Randall is a pedophile. That's what Ann Apolis was referring to.

    The trope is also Joss Whedon, except he does it in reverse:

    "BUFFY" SUPPORTING CHARACTER: Well, at least Buffy is having a relaxing night tonight.
    [CUT TO BUFFY, WHO IS FIGHTING A VAMPIRE AND NOT HAVING A RELAXING NIGHT]

    (This happens at least once in every episode of every Joss Whedon show.)

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  60. Yeah I doubt it was her. She didn't seem like Randy's type. I just can't imagine anyone White Knighting her. But she had the right hair I think?

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  61. I'm with Carl on this one: I don't think "Megan" is a real person. I'd go so far as to say she isn't even a recurring character; Randall probably just likes the name, and (perhaps unwittingly?) applies it in situations where Random Female Stick Figure #13 needs to have a name for some reason.

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  62. Randall Munroe did a guest strip on Wondermark, sandwiched between two killingly hilarious David Malki ! strips. It solidified for me more than anything just how not-funny Randall Munroe is...

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  63. But she's real... I know she's real!

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  64. I wrote a commentary on the new one, but it didn't go through :(.

    So, in short, about #574:

    I didn't hate it with the degree of passion some of you are showing in the comments. Yeah, it looked similar to the youtube one, but it was still funny - well, kind of. I didn't laugh - until the last comment about licking autistic children. While you'll probably think it was sick, it really wasn't, and actually made me laugh. For the first time in a long time, I haven't said "oh, that's funny" while reading XKCD, but i've actually laughed. I even laughed an hour later recollecting it.

    The strip shouldn't have included the other unfunny ones. It would have been better with just the last comment - although i'm not sure about buildup to it. It would be incredibly short.

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  65. This comic is one of the most pathetically unfunny comics I have seen in a long time.

    I think it has something to do with the fac thtat it's basically a rephrasing of the "this generation is going to have some weird nostalgia" comic, but with a really lame and hopelessly artificial "punchline" tacked on to the end. And to make matters worse, the punchline is pounded into the reader's head THREE TIMES:

    1) "I once raised a kid..."
    2) "What? No you couldn't have bleegle yorp fhqwgads..."
    3) "Tee hee hee"

    And oh yeah, I forgot: stupid nonsense sounds stopped being funny since grade 2.

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  66. Wow, you spelled "fhqwgads" right. ;)

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  67. All my Random Female People #Xs have names ending A. It's a motif.

    Erm, yeah. The Joss Whedon thing is called (on TVTropes) a Description Cut. Linky.

    Further to Philip: I wish to append "or the last time you heard The Goon Show".

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  68. I am of two minds about whether Megan is a real person. On the one hand, I have been known to use the name Nicole a lot in stories, because I like the name. On the other hand, in my microfiction the only times I use a name is if I want to draw attention to it. It's so easy to avoid names in something as short as what Randy is doing, and Megan is pretty much the only name he's ever used. I combine this with my knowledge that Randy writes comics about real things and people enough that it makes some people slightly uncomfortable and it makes me wonder.

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