1134. no. F
1135. I like spiders. C+
1136. Someone's been reading Ecclesiastes! C-
1137. LOL WHAT IF PEOPLE WERE LIKE COMPUTERS F-----
1138. no. F
Sunday, November 25, 2012
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"[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic."
Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.
I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.
Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.
rate the comments
ReplyDeletenovel, if uninspired. C+
DeleteRob, will you have sex with me, y/n?
ReplyDeletefine, I don't like you anyway
Deleteno. F
ReplyDelete"F" isn't a number!
Deleteor is it
DeleteSTOP CLASSIFYING WRONGLY.
Delete0123456789ABCDEFuck you.
you prescriptivist fool
DeleteTimothy McVeigh 2016
ReplyDeleteAdolf Hitler 1488
DeleteAmbivalence combined with mild distrust is the only way to view spiders. Anyone who dislikes them is an idiot and anyone who likes them is sinister.
ReplyDeletei am p. sinister
DeleteFalling coconuts kill more people worldwide than spiders. There's nothing sinister about them.
Deletespiders only kill people who are morally inadequate
DeleteDangerous doesn't mean sinister. I wouldn't call you coconut example sinister. I would call your fixation with children's swimwear sinister- even though i'm sure its perfectly harmless.
DeleteI like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.
DeleteI like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.
I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.
I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.
I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.
Will you dress coconuts with me?
Will you dress coconuts with me?
Will you dress coconuts with me?
Will you dress coconuts with me?
Will you dress coconuts with me?
Coconuts provide milk.
Coconuts provide milk.
Coconuts provide milk.
Coconuts provide milk.
Coconuts provide milk.
My mother never provided milk.
My mother never provided milk.
My mother never provided milk.
My mother never provided milk.
My mother never provided milk.
Megan is my coconut now.
Megan is my coconut now.
Megan is my coconut now.
Megan is my coconut now.
Megan is my coconut now.
I'm right-handed and I like spiders too, so fuck you.
DeleteMy mind is blown by your dexterity, 6:52.
DeleteLOLOLOL LATIN
DeleteMaybe I'm the first person here to say it but I find reading LOLOLOL posts really boring. I have started reading hundreds of LOLOLOL posts of almost identical lengths and probably finished a dozen throughout my life, not including this one.
DeleteI find it hard to pick up a LOLOLOL post without immediately engaging a mindset of, "Here's a consumable that some guy has produced to lazily dismiss the parent and/or force a meme. What comfortable fantasy is he creating to enable this?" And that's how my whole reading experience goes. A LOLOLOL post makes no point well which can't be better made with a "your mom" insult. It takes me nowhere without giving me the uncomfortable sense that someone thinks this is where I am supposed to need to be in order to see something false or escape something true. A LOLOLOL post idealises; it romanticises; it preaches. It falls asleep and it dreams. It is a selfish journey away from an argument.
xkcdsucks already has enough that is careless and that is abhorrent - and the truth about how awful it has become is far more challenging to confront. A LOLOLOL post has always seemed like the easy way out.
lol i remember that meme, nice one bro
DeleteLOLOLOLOLOL LONG RANT ABOUT POINTLESS SHIT
DeleteLOLOLOL NEWFAG INABILITY TO RECOGNISE XKCDSUCKS CLASSIC
DeleteLOLOLOL LOLOLOL JOKES STREAK
DeleteYour mom romanticises.
DeleteAnon 2:09,
DeleteIT'S GREEK, YOU FUCK!
10:04 almost sounds serious.
Deletehaha, the classhole acts as Randall's mouthpiece in the most belated piece of staircase wit ever.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm more interested in 1138. Does Randall actually attend business meetings or does he just presume he knows what goes on in there? He seems to make a lot of comics like this.
Guys, I can't take sides with either of these pieces of shit.
ReplyDeletehttp://starstrukkmixes.tumblr.com/post/34115338140
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=230420600419264&set=a.230383670422957.52570.230369427091048&type=1&theater
1139 - Hat boy is a gay weirdo. 6.5/10
ReplyDeleteomg the comic with the backwards writing magically corrected itself.
ReplyDeletebtw who uses Eccles as an abbreviation for Ecclesiastes? americans? fucksake. an eccles is a disgusting CAKE, named after a town
Who doesn't like eccles cakes? Is it because you are racist against Northern folk, or are you just an inhuman monster?
Deletethey're made of currants. there's few things more gross in this world.
Deletealthough I am also obv both of those things too
What time is it, Eccles?
DeleteThere's now a massive xkcd store link in the remarks section. Someone's running out of money!
ReplyDeleteSomeone? Any info on who that could be?
DeleteZach Weiner, I believe.
Deletei'm calling bullshit on this eleventh thing. like, november 11th? fucking Remembrance Day? as IF that's never mentioned. fuck you mr randall munroe. fuck you and your americocentric fucking bullshit
ReplyDeleteIsn't Veterans Day a national holiday in the US? Why would you assume not noticing November 11th is americocentric? Is it because you are racist against Americans?
Delete"You are racist against americans?" - Lord Kitten
Deleteof course
ReplyDeleteanother "I CAN USE GOOGLE" comic, awesome
ReplyDeleteI'm racist against weaselsoup. I think weaselsoup is an inferior race. I think weaselsoup should go back to her land and never mix her genes with non-weaselsoup persons. I think everyone who disagrees with that (other than weaselsoup) is a traitor against their race.
ReplyDeletei think I love you anon 723
Deletehttp://xkcd.com/858/
ReplyDeletedon't visit this link, it's a virus
Deletedon't visit 3:25's mom, she has a virus
Deletemikespants
ReplyDeleteWell, the metrics for 1140 sucks so much! He missed some really important dates, simply because they have their own name, so that people usually don't say "the 24th December", but Christmas' Eve. The same for Halloween, Thanksgiving and possibly other american holidays I'm not aware of.
ReplyDeleteSelect some data from Google, draw graph. COMIC COMPLETE. Fuck off, Randall
DeleteThat is a very good point, Unknown.
DeleteAlso, 3:38, are you implying Randall Munroe is a fraud? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE IMPLYING?
Not a fraud so much as a hack, I'd say.
DeleteNot a hack so much as a blind man in the kingdom of the blind who claims he can see, I'd say.
DeleteThe Emperor's New Webcomic, as it were.
DeleteExcept that the children keep telling him he's naked, blind and retarded but he acts as if he's deaf too.
DeleteHis Majesty marches on.
Delete92% of the comments here come from my sock puppets.
ReplyDeleteNot possible. At least 45% come from mine.
DeleteBut there are only ever a handful of Anonymous comments that don't originate from me?
DeleteHaha, I love monologues. Don't mind me guys (and by "guys", I mean Rob.)
DeleteNo, they all come for Jon Levi
Delete*from, that should say.
Delete**on, that should say.
DeleteThe problem with 1139 is thatI didn't realise it was about children until about the third panel, because the child stick figures are drawn almost exactly the same as he adults. That has some worrying implications.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with 1139 is that it was drawn
Deletefixed that for you
The problem with 1139 is that it was
DeleteFTFY
1139
Deleteself-explanatory?
Now he's got me wondering. Having exhausted (hahaha, no) his other forms of latent repetitive mediocrity, has Randall just moved on to new permutations of nonsense to beat into the ground?
ReplyDeleteIt's like Jeph Jacques' formula: Introduce new female character who looks exactly the same as all the other female characters, give her awkward personality quirk, run her through the gauntlet of awkward interactions with all the others, iterate.* Except Randall doesn't have characters. He never did.** Instead he has concepts. Realms of "humor" to draw from.
And now he's just turning the wheel of permutation again to reapply shitty new concept humor to the same tired situations. (**)What "characters" he claims are really just concepts. The surrealist (read: fucking idiot). The black hat (read: now tragically lame asshole). BUT NOW ALL THEIR MEANINGS ARE DIFFERENT!
Beret Hat isn't lolquirky. He doesn't make any fucking sense.
Black Hat isn't assholier-than-thou. He's just deliberately strange. what the fuck is this gothic Marcel Duchamp shit? The only way to twist him into more of a Tragic Prince Forlorn would be to embed 69 Eyes into the fucking webpage. I swear to god, waxing over broken mirrors and outmisfitting some bullies? Next thing you know he'll come out of his shell and win Homecoming King after all.
Lolgraphs.
So he's got me wondering. Will the next one be a new concept he drags across the coals of former success? Or just a bastardization of those same coals, rendering them to ash?
* Then stab yourself in the hand, I guess.
BUT WHERE'S THE SECOND FOOTNOTE?
Delete**herp derp im a twat
Delete"Oh look no character development such terrible writing RAGE RAGE RAGE!"
Delete[character develops]
"That's not what the character is like he's changed it's inconsistent such terrible writing RAGE RAGE RAGE!"
Get a fucking grip.
That's not character development. That's shitty material posing as character development.
DeleteMaybe I just need to cite His Honorable Jacques some more here, but literally any character that has ever appeared in XKCD could be substituted for Black Hat Child and it would equally hold. I don't expect to discover later that oh noes, black hat kid, you had bullies and now i understand you. Every single person in the xkcd world acts like this. They wouldn't even need to be children. Hell, the bullies could even still be kids, and adult stick figures would still do this.
"Hell, the bullies could even still be kids, and adult stick figures would still do this."
Deletethat would probably make this work a lot better actually
i mean it would still suck, but still
development does not only mean change, it means the changes have to make sense.
DeleteI'm from the future !
ReplyDelete"But caaaancer" is such a tired meme. Stop it already !
Oh well at least now with Gamer_2k4 in charge there are some interesting dicsussions in the comment threads again !
I'll just leave this here:
ReplyDeleteDied in a Blogging Accident
gayest thing ever
DeleteI like how all the ads on the page are for the VLCC anti-obesity drive.
DeleteWho...
DeleteWhat genius wrote that???
I like to think we all did.
DeleteJon Levi, you must continue writing that story.
DeleteThis is SHIT, this blog is SHIT SHIT SHIT.
ReplyDeleteYou're all SHIT.
And you're GLUE!
DeleteI'm rubber, you're a Jew. Whatever you say bounces off me and knocks you into a gas chamber.
DeleteRob is SHIT.
ReplyDelete7:41 is SHIT.
DeleteTHIS is SHIT rearranged.
ReplyDeleteOh joy, another cancer comic. And you just know the forums are going to eat it right up.
ReplyDeletehey
ReplyDeletehey guys
sup
DeleteWHAT?
ReplyDelete!
I am a chemist. The CRC chemistry handbook is full of nothing but numerical tables of physical properties. Even a chemist would think someone who just sat there READING this was a loser. More than a loser: a dangerously ill and possibly moronic individual. I don't care how much you like science, nothing in learning it makes you go "Oh look, the Joule-Thompson coefficients of every diatomic gas, in alphabetical order, what fun!"
ReplyDeleteSorry man, but picking on nerds isn't cool anymore. Big Bang Theory put an end to that bad attitude. Nerds are pretty rad folk that like to just sit around reading pure data sometimes, and that's A-OK. Sometimes they even bang above average blond chicks after obsessively doting for a few years. Good for them, I say.
Deleteacc. BBT: nerds are all cunts
Deletemy point is, that's not what a nerd is. A nerd loves information. Information is not data
Deleteor is it
DeleteThis comment is sponsored by Ingress. The Game.
ReplyDeleteFirst. Why the bloody hell does this Blog exist? Are you insinuating that a part of your existence is purely used to make ridiculous and downright idiotic comments about a Well respected, creative, funny, and mentally stimulating piece of work? What deserves such ridicule?
ReplyDeleteSecondly. Does nobody realize that if the humour is to intelligent for you, there's this great thing called Google? I understand the basis for free speech but jesus think before you create you moronic cretin. Following your logic and the logic of this Blog, we should all stop thinking and satisfy our creative desires with Jersey Shore. No intelligence needed.
DeleteHow did you become so sophisticated, Jeremy?
DeleteSeriously? "Mentally stimulating"?
DeleteOh lol, almost believed you there hehe nice troll ;) ;)
This morning 8:31 burst into my kitchen as I ate my breakfast.
Delete"Are you insinuating that you eat breakfast?" he cried in outrage as he watched me plunge food into my mouth.
I remained silent and continued to chew, as I prefer not to speak with my mouth full. He watched me for a moment before suddenly crying out,
"Are you insinuating that you chew?" His face was starting to turn red at this point. I do believe he was quite incensed by acts that he perceived as insinuation, but I was unable to to fathom why. I could have asked, but upon finishing my meal I realised I had no time for conversation. I was late for work.
"Are you insinuating that you stand up from chairs?" he screamed in rage as I stood up from my chair. I did paid him little heed and rushed from the room.
I think he tried to follow me, but I was in a hurry and was quickly beyond his reach.
It had been a most peculiar morning.
Anon 8:31 is a fanboy and Jeremy is an angsty nerd.
DeleteEumesmopo is a bit slow.
Delete@5:53: that was good =D
Delete@4:32: and it's not the first time he's proved it.
captcha: idqher, but i qnow him
1139 has proven that Randall Munroe can't draw children, or at least, he draws them exactly the same as the adults. Ergo, for all we know, any XKCD character could be a child. Discuss.
ReplyDeleteFirst try: http://xkcd.com/298/
DeleteYour theory seems to hold true.
Would 1143 make more sense if I knew anything about the technology involved?
ReplyDeleteMaybe. Wouldn't make it any funnier though.
DeleteThumbs up if you love me.
ReplyDeleteNot feeling the love, guys!
DeleteI'll thumb yours if you thumb mine.
DeleteQ: How does Randall annoy you? A: Like this.
ReplyDeleteMy interpretation of this comic is that Randall found out how to annoy web developers by adding retarded broken HTML to xkcd somewhere and his web developer / sysadmin / person-that-does-all-those-things-Randall-can't-because-he's-too-busy-drawing-a-five-minute-comic-three-times-a-week-and-masturbating-to-lactation-fetish-porn had to fix it and was annoyed at him.
ReplyDeleteFuck cancer
ReplyDeleteYou must be Angela Zhang.
Delete