"[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic."
Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.
I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.
Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.
Fuck, ROB, nobody wants to scroll past a comment just to read the comments section. Get your ass in gear and make a new post, you lazy shit.
ReplyDeleteI thought critics were supposed to state their opinion, not guess.
ReplyDeleteI guess.
ReplyDeleteAlright, I'll say what we're all thinking: "Ten hundred?"
ReplyDeletepresumably 'thousand' isn't in the top thousand words
DeleteYes, it's between "the top" and "words".
DeleteI guess it depends on what source you use for your data because in something like this context is everything, but when I searched for 'most common thousand words' and picked off the top relevant result, the list I found had 'thousand' in it- and not near the end but around the middle.
Deletehttp://esl.about.com/library/vocabulary/bl1000_list2.htm
Even simple english wikipedia uses 'thousand'.
Rob, my rhetorical friend, you have to let go. xkcd will always suck, but xkcdsucks is dead. Just accept it. The comments here have gotten as boring as the comics they mean to deride. Even the random ones, that provided such a good outlet for xkcdsuckers to show their creativity, aren't so clever anymore. Why are you still feeding the zombie horse? It is not the one you knew and loved; only, a rotten memory.
ReplyDeleteAlso, 1130 deserved at least a B- :(
Up yours. My comments are great.
DeleteHi.
ReplyDeleteI'm really late to the party (actually there is no longer a party and everyone left, only the mess remains and rob is drunk and unconscious) but I wanted to say something after reading all xkcdsucks' posts up till comic 800, when Carl left.
It was a nice trip. I wish I was part of the community and all the discussions that happpened at that time. I've read some of the comments as well and read many interesting opinions about webcomics, art and writing in general. I am saddened by the fact that this no longer is the case: the blog is dead but walking (wow! if I was Randall I could TOTALLY MAKE THAT A COMIC) and the comments are just zombies. I don't think it's a shame though, it was only natural for a comic that waned from good to bad and to mediocre on a regular schedule. One can only endure so much before waning as well.
I'm sure neither Carl nor Rob (well, maybe he will but won't say anything) will read this but I just wanted to thank you for putting so much effort and giving me a more critical eye regarding comics and humor in general. And thanks to Aloria for making me laugh and always being drunk.
That is all.
I just accidentally basic critical thinking skills
Delete"1130. Contrived, but with a good heart. D+"
ReplyDeleteReally, Rob? I've learned not to expect much from either you or your blog, but this is a new low. Since when did you give a flying fuck about Randall's intentions? Supposing Mr. Munroe is an artist, comic 1130 only stands as a testament to his incompetence.
Randall doesn't know how to write a punchline. "Brevity is the soul of wit," and this comic would be funnier (or at least less painful) without the dialogue from offscreen. We KNOW the main character is a dweeb with no life, we DON'T NEED Randall to explain his "joke" with some contrived Voice of God.
As for the alt-text: This would be funnier if anybody cared.
Rob, you've gone soft as well as fat. D-
Trite and full of web-spun 'wisdom' that would not pass muster on the most banal of forums. This review-of-a-review is replete with the unnecessary exaggeration typical of comments on this blog, and the author's anger is as contrived as the comic itself.
DeleteThe author would also do well to put a line of space between their paragraphs - it is impolite to present the reader with such an ugly mass of text.
Final score: D-. At least the spelling and grammar are accurate.
LOLOLOLOL META
DeleteAs predictable as it is cringeworthy. F-
Delete"Rob, you've gone soft as well as fat."
DeleteWell, duh. Fat people *are* soft. That's why we use them for cat pillows and to catch us when jumping from burning buildings.
Is Rob really fat? I didn't think I could be more sexually attracted to him.
Deletethat's my line.
DeleteSeriously though, is Rob fat?
DeleteQuite an understatement.
DeleteSo jokeless poster bait is "kind of amusing" now?
ReplyDeleteFuck you, Robdall.
heh, 'posterbate'
DeleteLOLOLOLOL PUNS
Delete1134 was alright. While pointing out that logic puzzles rarely conform to common sense is an old observation, I've not seen exactly this joke made before.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't grade it as high as B-, but it was way fucking better than 1133.
|-|3Y GU15, \/\/|-|47 D0 U 7|-|1|\||< R4|\|D4|_|_ \/\/1|_|_ D0 F0R C0|\/|1C 1337?
ReplyDeleteF1|\|4|_|_`/ (0|\/||\/|17 5U1(1|)3 |\/|4`/|33?
DeleteWeak. "D" should be "|)", "C" should be "(", etc. |_34R|\| 2 1337, |\|00|3.
Delete*|_34|2|\|
Delete+#4|\||<|=(_)11`/, \/\/£ [)0|\|'+ #4\/£ +0 \/\/0|2|2`/ 4|30(_)+ +#4+ |=0|2 4|\|0+#£|2 `/£4|2 4|\|[) 4 (,)(_)4|2+£|2
DeleteLOLOLOL LEET SPEAK
Deletesoz guys ths leet speak thng s b4 my time. Wot r u tlking bout?
Delete"noob" is certainly not part of classical leetspeak, so above poster is a fraud.
Delete(_)|> `/0(_)|25. |\/|`/ (0|\/||\/|3|\|75 4|23 6|2347.
DeleteRon Paul 2012
ReplyDeletePon Raul 2016
DeleteRob Carl 20fuck
Delete1135 is so badly drawn that I can't tell if Beret Guy is pulling a spider-knitted sweater off that frame...thing... or if he's deliberately allowing cobwebs to cling on to a sweater for some logic-fucking bullshit reason because he's 'kooky' (near-invisible gossamer patterns, maybe? I don't know).
ReplyDeleteFrankly, after Endless Wings, either are plausible, though the first option seems to imply that Beret Guy is sane enough to formulate a plan that's grounded in reality (albeit a reality where Spider Psychology is an actual thing, and not a Randallian plot device), and has the patience to wait for a payoff, neither of which are exactly traits that he's been shown to possess.
Basically, Beret Guy has reached a point where nothing that he does can be interpreted to be the actions of a cohesive mind. He is Randall's first Postmodernist character, basically (and I hope that this observation triggers an aneurysm in some xkcd fan somewhere).
Speaking of which, is Randall so dumb as to not know that neurology != psychology, or is this some textbook-title joke I'm not getting?
DeleteOkay, I'll say what we're all thinking. This blog has gone downhill and the single force powerful enough to revive it is pornographic stories centered around Randall. I want to see some when I get back.
DeleteOkay, I'll say what we're all thinking. Complaints about this blog have gone downhill and the single force powerful enough to revive them is pornographic stories centered around the whiners. I want to see some when I get back.
Delete@Anon 7:15: Wrong thread, dumbass.
DeletePretty sure it's the right thread. 12:39's comment was tiresome, inaccurate and irritating.
DeleteJust like xkcd!
@Anon 8:32: Up yours. My comments are great.
DeleteLOLOLOL REPETITION
DeleteLOLOLOL THIS "LOLOLOL" THING MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP YOUR FACE
DeleteYeah, I'm beginning to regret starting it.
Deleteblah blah pornographic stories centered around Rob blah etc
Delete@Anon 8:01
ReplyDeleteYou're being silly at best, and I honestly want to believe that you're smarter than comments like that. Pornographic stories about "whiners" would lack a clearly defined protagonist. The literary value of that kind of erotic fiction would be of a quality barely above the works of Ayn Rand. You are simultaneously denying the work a meaningful plot (by refusing to incorporate a clearly defined lead character) and disallowing the leadership to impose themselves into the story by defining the lead with a single negative trait (whiny). How will anyone enjoy the comedy or the tragedy of the tale? How will they fap to it?
The answer is they won't. You would have us produce shit comments that mean nothing to anybody. I hope that you reflect on this and reconsider your toxic views before you drag Western civilization below it's current depths. Your attitude is the reason that the Dean Koontzs and the Lisa Gardners of the world pollute our culture with shit novels and I don't appreciate it.
I'd say that a lead character defined exclusively by a single trait, negative or otherwise, is pretty damn well clearly-defined.
DeleteYou'd be wrong, unless you also think the word 'cube' would pretty damn well clearly define your house.
Delete'Whiny' is an attribute that applies to a massive amount of people, and reveals essentially nothing about background or motivation. You might as well say that you can define a lead character by their hair color. It tells you very little overall about who that person is or what they are like. It would be fair to say that a minor character could be defined in that way, but that's because a minor character is allowed to make a minuscule contribution to the story and then disappear. Our protagonist needs to be in the thick of the plot, which means in almost all cases make it necessary for him to be more developed than that.
Unless of course, that single trait is what the story is really about. But in this case it's not. It can't just be about whining, the story needs to be pornographic in nature. Which (to my surprise) apparently requires more character depth than whatever fiction you're used to consuming.
8:13 is so whiny.
DeleteThanks, 8:13. You've displayed the sort of whiny garrulous self-righteousness I was looking for in a lead.
DeleteAnd the story will be pornographic in the sense of 120 Days of Sodom. Enjoy your rape.
LOLOLOL RAPE
Deletemikespants
ReplyDeleteJesus Christ this site has gone downhill. Rob was always a poor shadow of Carl, but this is just pathetic.
ReplyDeleteClearly you do not understand the beauty of concision and no fuck giving.
DeleteDear Fred,
DeleteI don't give a fuck who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home.I'll turn on all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wonder what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either... I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitchfaced faggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.
Sincerely,
Rob
i never call people faggots
Deletetry harder next time
Well if you were looking for pornography involving cuddlefish here, there you go. I'm turned on anyway.
DeleteThat's funny because you call people faggots all the time
Deleteoh right i forgot
Deletethat's right you foggot
DeleteLOLOLOL GAYS
Delete@Rob 10:23
DeleteSperm!
Whatever Randall's done to black hat guy in 1136, I don't like it.
ReplyDeleteIDK, my first reaction when I read it was "didn't he mean to draw béret guy instead?"
Deleteboth of them are cunts. beret guy is even more of a cunt actually.
DeleteI'd like to take a dump on Israel, but I wonder: would that be an antisemite thing to do? I sure hope not! I couldn't live with that. I'd rather rape my children, eat my wife and kill myself than being called an antisemite! God, please, no. Not that.
ReplyDelete'I see you're in this mood again.' 'I am always in this mood.'
DeleteLOLOLOL REFERENCE
DeleteIs Randall ever not late to the party?
ReplyDeleteIt's like he discovers things once the Internet is tired of them.
1137: What hte Hell indeed, Randall. What hte Hell.
ReplyDelete1137: this is terrible. also has he made an error in that 'the' spelt backwards is 'eht' not 'eth'? Perhaps I'm missing something
ReplyDeletehte is teh new teh
DeleteWell that was quick. What If is already running repeats. Guns can stop trains. Guns can make a jet pack. Yeah, there's a difference between force of impact (the train one) and recoil (jetpack), but it's still basically the same idea.
ReplyDeleteIt's not even just that. It's the bastard child repeat of Guns Have Force and Fuel Is Heavy.
DeleteHas he already found the limit to how many shitty foundations he can expand to make the world explode ad nauseam (specifically your nauseam)? Stay tuned next week, when Shitpile Discovery picks up his prime-time option.
There are actually a few funny comments here. Specifically "that's right you foggot" and vicinity.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, I miss ALTF.
You are all cunts.
Up yours. My comments are great.
DeleteALTF was nowhere near classical Usenet kook standard but she did provide a certain flavour of the Old Religion.
DeleteLOLOLOL NOSTALGIA
DeleteLOLOLOL LOLOLOL
DeleteLOLOLOL META
DeleteLOLOLOL IM SO META EVEN THIS LOLOLOL
DeleteLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Hey Jude
DeleteNext xkcd Randall discovers the combining cyrillic millions character! What whacky hi-jinks will the Black Hat man come up with using that? Stay tuned!
ReplyDelete( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOL SMILIES
DeleteⒶⓛⓢⓞ ⓣⓗⓘⓢ
Deletele fuck off
DeleteDAE( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ??
ReplyDeleteNo way, jose. I run through the entire internet to escape you and you will not catch me. You will not catch me. I will still be running long after you are dead and forgotten, and I will smile for I will have escaped.
Delete( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
DeleteSo, looks like another shitty webcomic has ended. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e60JlM6ZXHc sums up my feelings on the matter.)
ReplyDeleteHow long until Randall finally moves on?
Randall relies on xkcd for income, possibly his sole source of income. If he stops xkcd people won't buy as much of the stuff. He's been out of actual work too long to really go back.
Deletexkcd will never end.
People have been saying that about CAD for years, though, and Buckley has even less prospects than Randall. At least Randall has some science/computer background to fall back on, not to mention a legion of fans who would probably jump to work alongside him, regardless of his qualifications. B^Uckley has a reputation as a complete asshole, a horrible artist/writer, and a plagiarist, and his only education is the art school he dropped out of because they made him do, like, figure drawing and perspective and shit. Not to mention his fanbase has dwindled over time as his stories got more and more tedious.
Deletehurray! miscarriages 24/7!
DeleteI must say. the fact that you have nothing better to do with your life than rant about some web comic that no one's forcing you to read is very amusing. bravo. If you have so much to say about XKCD, why don't you try creating your own?
ReplyDeleteok
DeleteI create my own every day when I wipe my ass after dropping a shit. I just don't have the poor taste to upload a scan of it on the internet.
DeleteAh, the repetitive bullshit of tired questions and their funneled echo. Every dam must leak.
DeleteShit, the worlds worst facebook page has been posting the worlds worst webcomic: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=504513526236330&set=a.456449604376056.98921.367116489976035&type=1
ReplyDeletedon't visit this link, it's a virus
Delete