Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Comic 996: SHOW ME YOUR TITS

[We've got a special treat for you today here at xkcdsucks. First, a guest post by "Ann Apolis," noted awful person. Then, some more words by your editor. -Ed.]


[Comic title: Making Things Difficult; Alt text: "Favorite mastectomy breast prosthesis idea: a fake boob containing a spare rechargable battery, accessed via a nipple USB port. Complete with a ring of LED charge indicators in the areola!"]

1. CANCER CANCER CANCER (oh yeah I hope you've noticed that "Some context for the cancer comics". "GUYS JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT: CANCER. I KNOW I DON'T MENTION IT MUCH SO")

2. lol boobs

3. stick figures wearing clothes makes them look like creepy hunchbacks

4. "nuh-uh": why do nerds fetishise adults behaving like children? the ballpit thing is like this too. hence you have forumites saying "Anyways, I really hope Randall's wife does this in real life" and such. protip: maybe it would be easier to argue that liking animation and graphic novels isn't childish if they people who read them didn't tend to behave like children all the time

6. the alt-text is 'why can't women be more like computers amirite guiz' and 'lol boob' and 'mmmmm nipples' all at once

7. so yeah slitting my wrists see you all in hell

===

Hello, cuddlefish, Rob once again. I have a special request! I want you to remember this comic every time you are tempted to say that I'm making up Randy's creepy fetishes. One boob for milk, one for charging his Android.

That is all.

43 comments:

  1. I'll bet Randall thinks that breast cancer is the most sexy kind of cancer possible.

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  2. his fiancée is a whore, and he's a cuckold.

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  3. Finally this place gets classy, Ann for President 2012!

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  4. i'm almost 100% positive that Randy is trolling, this is just too overt to be anything else

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  5. "Hello, cuddlefish, Rob once again. I have a special request! I want you to remember this comic every time you are tempted to say that I'm making up Randy's creepy fetishes. One boob for milk, one for charging his Android."


    ...I have to admit, this is exactly what I was thinking when I read the alt-text.

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  6. Dear god, what the fuck.

    Had to look it up on xkcd.com to make sure it's real.

    He even links to that family illness blog post.

    Ugh.

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  7. "maybe it would be easier to argue that liking animation and graphic novels isn't childish if they people who read them didn't tend to behave like children all the time"

    You mean like those on this blog who like to be negative for the sake of negativity? That is, after all, the only reason this place exists.

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  8. "There's not a lot of comics that do that much in that space. On a good day, this guy is brilliant."
    -from the forums
    Oh my god, it's full of retards.

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  9. The only way this could get worse is if it included a drawing of a Vagina.

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  10. Children like being negative for the sake of being negative. That is the main characteristic of children.

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  11. Michael: Well... can you think of a sexier cancer?

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  12. 12:08, my exact thoughts also

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  13. Since LEDs last pretty much forever why does the obviously female doctor have to hand her a replacement set "every time"?

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  14. 5:18, it's a guy in a ponytail. In 3rd panel he's masturbating under his coat and in 4th he's giving her the resultant pearl necklace, not LEDs.

    This is what happens when you get your knowledge of sex from Wikipedia. The authors of the pearl necklace (sexuality) page clearly thought it would be a good idea to choose an image of a woman who is also wearing a real necklace.

    (I immediately looked up "Stockholm syndrome" to see whether the article was illustrated by the Swedish chef with a black eye.)

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  15. this comic gave me enough rage to keep living. did anyone else notice that the alt text would actually serve as a better comic?

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  16. I wish children weren't so negative. If only they could just grow up and get on with the soul-crushin', then they could be more positive like the rest of the non-children population. Truly, our children are cursed =[

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  17. ALMOST TO THE 1000 MARK GUYS!

    Here's hoping Randy quits at that time and admits the past 500 have been troll-comics, and he wishes all the people praising him for his "brilliance" burn in hell.

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  18. also, the alt text is the exact same joke from 644

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  19. In the last thread, man, fucking college bydlo trying to prove they're beter than me at latin.

    As if, bitches! I can translate the Aenein with 60% accuracy, beat that

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  20. I so so so so badly want to suck ALTF's smelly, uncut, throbbing penis.

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  21. 12:18 = ALTF = samefag

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  22. I do not understand this comic. Why is the doctor handing the patient a purple necklace?

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  23. It's an allegory for cancer.

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  24. It's fairly subtle, no wonder you missed it. On a good day, this guy is brilliant.

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  25. I missed it too, would you please explain?

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  26. Anal beads are a traditional pre-op gift in Munroe's mentally blighted basketcase of a head

    Oh and after the linguistic beatdown you received in the last thread, I'm not sure I can take you seriously any more Mikhail. Sorry but that's the way it is.

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  27. Oh and I bet that really self-confident (which presumably makes him super-intelligent too) bro in the last thread has the initials N.B. and lives in International Falls, Minnesota

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  28. Well, fine, I'll just be an anon then, and you'll have fun assuming I'm every single anon.

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  29. Captcha: Mardi Gras





    Ok, not actually, but I wanted to leave a subtle clue for those too slow to figure out the "joke" for 996.
    The real joke of course, is that there is a female doctor. Even Ann Apolis is a guy.

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  30. Did you notice the "Some context for the cancer comics" ? ComicS. With a S. Looks like we can expect a few more ! Maybe Randy expects a sympathy laugh ?

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  31. I live in uptown NOLA and those are not mardi gras beads. I can see Randy's never seen any in his entire life, if he thinks those are in anyway resemblant of anything associated with Mardi Gras

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  32. I also live in New Orleans and I don't think that's really a relevant qualifier for a judge of the accuracy of illustrated Mardi Gras beads.

    I can't think of how someone could draw a string of beads in such a way that they would clearly be Mardi Gras beads as opposed to any other kind of beads.

    Having said that, I agree that the drawing is terrible and it doesn't look like he made any effort at all to imbue any sort of authenticity or accuracy into the appearance of the beads. It looks more like Marge Simpson's necklace than a proper "string" of beads.

    I think what annoys me the most is that Randy often claims to be way into physics and things like that. He also claims to be a really quirky guy who is really clever and frequently notices when someone in the media gets something wrong or portrays something in such a way that seems physically or scientifically impossible according to some obscure law he read about on Wikipedia. And yet he's perfectly comfortable drawing an object like a necklace and making it appear to be stiff like it's a hoop made of steel, having no regard for the way such an object would actually appear or behave in the real world according to the most basic physical principles that govern our universe.

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    Replies
    1. I also also live in New Orleans and think this is the main reason Munroe draws in stick figures; that way when he screws up something (like drawing beads that look nothing like beads or his recent botched attempt at "perspective" in the spinning bed comics) he can say "well what do you expect IT'S JUST STICK FIGURES." Then he can go back to wikipedia to find 50 year old JFK quotes with niggling geographic inaccuracies to complain about.

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  33. @Anon 3:36

    Cancer must be pretty sexy, considering the number of forumites who want to 'fuck cancer'

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  34. I liked this comic. My wife is an oncologist and she says that women demand beads before disrobing all the time. So, this comic is funny and accurate. Scary.

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  35. If it was for prostate this might be funny.

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  36. Randall Munroe is just one of those people you wish you could time-teleport into 1940s Europe and force him to join the German Wehrmacht, just so he would freeze to death at Stalingrad.

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  37. @Anon 5:30PM
    Yes, but only if the beads were not looped.

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  38. Okay am I the only one who doesn't get this at all? Beads? Is this a reference to something? Someone please clue me in.

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  39. http://www.sexyandfunny.com/watch_video/boob-flashing-at-mardi-gras_36011.html
    get it now??

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  40. Jees.. his girl has cancer. Give the guy a break.

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  41. this site: full of cunts.

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