Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Comics 983 and 984: Privacy Issues

983. Randall is showing considerable restraint here by writing a comic called "Privacy" and not going all Richard Stallman on us. We can forgive him for wanting to drink Megan's milk in a beaver's dam for this admirable restraint.

984. Black Hat Guy makes a return, this time pointing out that Werner von Braun worked for the Nazis. Apparently Black Hat Guy has given up trolling entirely and is instead pointing out basic, barely relevant facts at inappropriate points in conversation. In short, he has become the typical XKCD fan.

199 comments:

  1. I did that joke a while ago, and then Rob took the review down to prevent his E-Mail box from being overloaded.

    What I'm saying is we should all spam messages to flood his E-Mail again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vannevar Bush / insert other namedrop hereDecember 1, 2011 at 8:12 AM

    GUISE

    SOMETIMES TECHNOCRACY IS AMORAL

    MAYBE GEEKS CAN'T BANISH EVIL AFTER ALL

    WOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

    ReplyDelete
  3. These reviews have a serious lack of breast cancer jokes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. rob, we salute you for your tireless philanthropism and milk jokes. you are a true american

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rob, I have to wonder. Have you're large bosoms begun to produce thine glorious milk?

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's true. Sometimes it is difficult to find a place to have sex at.

    ReplyDelete
  7. WITH DOG AND DAME

    AN OCTOBER IDYLL

    Her other hand is mischievous
    To bid the monster Dane grow mad,
    His red-haw gaze grows mutinous,
    Her eyes have lost the calm they had,
    My body grows all amorous.

    I yield him place: his ravening teeth
    Cling hard to her — he buries him
    Insane and furious in the sheath
    She opens for him — wide and dim
    My mouth is amorous beneath.

    Nor move, though now essays the Dane
    To cool his weapon in my mouth;
    Her lust bestrides me, and is fain
    To quench in his sweet sweat her drouth
    Her finger probes my bowel again.

    All three enjoy once more, and I
    Am ready ever to renew
    These bestial orgie-nights, whereby
    Loose woman’s love is spiced, as dew
    On tender spray of spring doth lie.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Is it just me, or is this blog slowly morphing into xkcdexplained?

    ReplyDelete
  9. rob lard 2 grow fatter

    ReplyDelete
  10. i can't believe randall's a nazi

    ReplyDelete
  11. but then shania twain says "no it's not what is this" and RANDALL MUNROE IS ONE UPPED AGAIN BY SOCIAL INTERACTION

    OH MY

    ReplyDelete
  12. Did Hitler ever drink Eva Braun's milk?December 1, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    (Original music because you cunts wouldn't notice culture if its head pressed against your eyeball and released directly into your pupil)

    Gather round while I tell you of Randall Munroe,
    A boy whose fixation's
    With Megan's lactation.
    Call him a hack to whom losers kowtow
    "I worked at NASA!" says Randall Munroe.

    Don't say he gave Megan cancer
    (Though she got it after he romanced her)

    "Once the pump is attached, creamy nectar will flow -
    Who cares 'bout the fallout?" says Randall Munroe.

    Some have harsh words for this boy of renown
    But some think our attitude
    Should be one of gratitude
    Like the posters replying above and below
    Who can vent their frustration at Randall Munroe.

    You too may feel a big hero,
    Though to scientists and artists you're zero.
    "I'm no Shakespeare or Milton or Faulkner or Poe,
    But I know how to namedrop," says Randall Munroe.

    ReplyDelete
  13. fuck off tard, you're not clever

    ReplyDelete
  14. 4:32 and 4:54 = samefag

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anon432, don't pretend you didn't find Tom Lehrer yesterday while googling "Wernher von Braun".

    ReplyDelete
  16. 985: Randall is excellent at creating straw men. I've never seen that situation happen anywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You guys saw that episode of Futurama with Fry's dog right?

    Saw that shit years ago and it still makes me sad when I think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. goomh, randall, i also know about the time cube guy

    ReplyDelete
  19. GOOMHR. I hate things too!

    ReplyDelete
  20. 985 has to be the dumbest criticism ever. I'm going to the xkcd forums right now, and if I see people high fiving one another I am going to be so mad. I'm telling you, I will be so very mad.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm not very mad. People are just sharing their basic math knowledge and politely skirting around discussing the validity of the actual observation. Excellent.

    ReplyDelete
  22. the forodes do this a lot these days. you go there hoping for an opportunity for some proper rage against the shitty comic but instead they don't talk about the comic (because it is shitty) and just talk about other things instead.

    ReplyDelete
  23. 985, like too many xkcds, attempts to skirt the line between stupidity and willful ignorance. Anybody capable of forming cogent sentences would understand that the newscaster means the senator's support has dropped to one percent (obviously, a drop "by 19%" as misunderstood by the observer wouldn't be a newsworthy enough event to be reported on the news) - this is not an ambiguity experienced by any other rational humans existing in this world.

    ReplyDelete
  24. @Ravenzomg!, young lady, I've known and disliked him since before you were born. As Stallman he's the kind of guy who uses his intelligence to take everything the Establishment offers to people like him while whining hard about how awful it is. He cheerled for the early champagne hippies who are now running the country.

    @4:54, wat 2 u is clever? when sm1 cals me a tard on tha web it hurtz :'(

    ReplyDelete
  25. OMG "Percentage Points" is dumb. Dropping 19% from 20%, no matter which way you interpret it, basically means an unpopular pol just got less popular (usually 20-25% of a constituency will support a politician just because of party affiliation; even Bush and Cheney didn't drop below that line).

    The joke would have made a lot more sense if it were a 30% drop from 55%, i.e. the politician is either really unpopular or just took a dip in the polls from which he can recover. There's actual ambiguity there, whereas 16% and 1% both mean universal loathing.

    Moreover, no one would misinterpret that. Political polling is based on percentage points. Losing half or a quarter or a tenth of your base of support means much less than how many people (or what percent of the population) turned on you. There are fields where this ambiguity presents itself, like mainstream coverage of science, but political polling is all. about. percentage. points.

    Plus the content of this pol's sins is just dumb. The "mix up extreme political views" joke was annoying by the time Stephen Colbert made it the theme of his coverage of the 2008 elections, and Colbert at least had ideological consistency in the joke and used laws that some people actually advocate. Drone strikes in the War on Christmas is just stupid-on-purpose, which hasn't been funny since the 90's.

    ReplyDelete
  26. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL WOULDN'T IT BE WACKY IF POLITICIANS WANTED TO GIVE THINGS TO BAD PEOPLE?

    wait

    ReplyDelete
  27. @Anonymous 12:54 19% drop in popularity would not be newsworthy? That's 1/5. I guarantee you that if Obama took a hit of that size in the polls, the news would definitely pick that up. What you meant to say is that the newsmedia is so dumb that those basic errors are assumed to mean 19 percentage points because journalism majors suck at math. Much the same way that you suck at life.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I'd vote for a politician who wanted to give college scholarships to sexually active teens. Underage moms need the most education!

    ReplyDelete
  29. It'd be much cheaper to have them killed and their babies ground up into a cheap meat paste and sold to zoos.

    ReplyDelete
  30. college scholarships only for sexually active teens?

    but then randall munroe could never have got a degree ZING

    ReplyDelete
  31. disclaimer: i am a sad virgin who women are universally repulsed by :(

    ReplyDelete
  32. But you're a doctor! That's gotta count for something, right?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Of course most women are repulsed by you! Your name _clearly_ spells out that you are female, and most women (despite various pornographic films specifying otherwise) aren't into other girls like yourself!

    You wouldn't fake being a girl OR a doctor on the internet now would you!? No one ever does that!

    ReplyDelete
  34. ok guys i'm pretty sure the joke in 985 is that the guy hears about all these awful things the senator is promising but he only gets annoyed by the percentages thing? because otherwise why would randy have chosen such over the top awful promises? so it isn't just simple goomh bait.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Haven't been here in a while... but whatever happened to ALTF?

    ReplyDelete
  36. She temporarily relocated back to her native Burma from inglorious Minnesota.

    ReplyDelete
  37. She felt she had fully achieved her goal of sucking all the joy out of the word "cunt," and so withdrew. She was right. I know I often type that word out but, recalling the inextricable relationship it now has with ALTF, I sigh mournfully and edit it out.

    ReplyDelete
  38. 11:10—11:35 = obvious samefag = possibly ALTF

    ReplyDelete
  39. I am obviously other people?. "Know thyself!" cried Socrates, and perhaps I did not listen for I was somebody else.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Disregard that, I suck Socrates' cock.

    ReplyDelete
  41. 1:39, Last Measure doesn't work any more. Most browsers block it as malware.

    But you know, nice try.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Apparently xkcdsucks has given up critiquing entirely and is instead pointing out basic jokes about Megan's milk for a laugh.

    You guys disappoint me. I use to come here for reviews on xkcd that made VALID arguments. Now it's just a joke to you.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Matt, if you still need someone else's help to understand what's wrong with xkcd then you'll probably be more at home as a baying fan than a detractor.

    ReplyDelete
  44. @Alt-f Nice discrete entry. Ask a question about yourself while pretending to be someone else. Come back. Only there's no ominous music or anything. Just the underwhealming sound of wind being expelled from Rob's abnormally large tush.

    ReplyDelete
  45. ALTF, I have a non-stop headache on the left side, above and behind my ear. Sometimes the pressure gets worse and it feels like something's pressing on my eye. When I lean my head forward between my legs, almost upside down, I get a flowing sensation down to behind my nose and the pressure seems relieved.

    Diagnose me.

    ReplyDelete
  46. 3:34 = 3:39.

    Or 3:39 is a complete fucking idiot.

    4:14 is definitely a complete fucking idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  47. 4:16 feels the need to post on his ability to identify when someone on the Internet obviously isn't who they say they are, so is without a shadow of a doubt a complete fucking idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  48. 4:16=Rob embarrassed to admit to his real feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  49. 4:20=unfalsifiable conjecture.

    ReplyDelete
  50. @Annon 3:39: Obviously a beautiful, amazing, wonderful, talented human being. I'm surprised to find someone of that level here on this blog with lowly us.

    ReplyDelete
  51. samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag = samefag =

    ReplyDelete
  52. looks like Randall accidentally a joke

    <3

    ReplyDelete
  53. matt, I agree. i don't need to know why the comics are bad. i just like to hear other people's take on it. and xkcdsucks has clearly gone down the lazy hill.

    ReplyDelete
  54. the comics are bad because they were written by one Randall Munroe, milk fetishist and former NASA intern extraordinaire

    ReplyDelete
  55. This is a late response but hey, you all suck and I don't have to respect social norms when I'm talking to you! TO THE GUY WHO SAID IT WAS "HARD TO EXPLAIN" WHY HE LIKED ACHEWOOD IN THE LAST THREAD: Fuck you. The resources you have available are, at minimum, the entire internet, the english language, and the most complex fucking brain on the fucking planet. If you can't put these together to explain why you find a set of pictures appealing, you need help getting fucking DRESSED in the morning.

    @Matt: If you ever came here for legitimate criticism, you came for the wrong reasons. Carl did try to criticize xkcd in a meaningful way, but because he is an awful, worthless human being, it always ended up sounding retarded anyway. Rob never really tried at all, and I respect him for that!

    ReplyDelete
  56. whoa now, let's not go acting like humans are intelligent enough to accurately explain anything that goes on in their squishy unreliable brains

    ReplyDelete
  57. I respect rob for his generous helpings of disdain.

    ReplyDelete
  58. "most women aren't into other girls like yourself!"

    Actually it's ridiculously easy to seduce straight girls. I've never failed at it.

    ReplyDelete
  59. james you seriously need to calm down

    ReplyDelete
  60. 3:56, proceed.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Just thought I'd let you guys know that I'm an EE and I've just had a raise to $110k/year. Also I find xkcd rather funny.

    Enjoy your obvious expression of inadequacy.

    ReplyDelete
  62. James, why do you dislike Achewood? Is it too complex for you? Are the characters are little too deep, or the language a little too colourful?

    ReplyDelete
  63. @10:13, yes i did enjoy your obvious expression of inadquacy, thanks

    hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  64. @3:56 Stockholm Syndrome doesn't count as seduction, moron.

    ReplyDelete
  65. @Ruiqi: I'm not even..what...look, just look at the things I'm saying,and think reaaaaalllllly hard, and try to guess how I would answer that question, OK? I know it's not easy. I know it hurts. But I think it's something you need to do.For me. For YOU, Ruiqi Meow. Will you try? Please?

    @ R.: IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT FAGGOT I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK BUT I THINK IT WAS

    ReplyDelete
  66. "it is pretty hard to get into and i feel like a massive hipster whenever i try to explain it. it's weird"

    i didn't want to sound like a dick. i can see how you wouldn't be able to understand that though

    ReplyDelete
  67. James, I guess that you prefer comics full of angsty whining, or 'edgy' gag-a-day comics comprised mostly of abortion jokes.

    Is that why you don't like Achewood?

    ReplyDelete
  68. Amazed at things youDecember 3, 2011 at 1:44 PM

    Why are you people so partisan and imbecile?
    If someone doesn't like the comic you like, he must like abortion jokes then?

    Jesus.
    (Help these people please)

    ReplyDelete
  69. @R.: And another thing, CAPITALIZE YOUR FUCKING I's. Typos don't piss me off, generally, but that one doesn't even make SENSE. It's not a hard rule to remember. All the I's in your post come at the beginning of the damn sentence ANYWAY!

    @Ruiqi: Hahahaha, abortion....

    ReplyDelete
  70. do you know i have never been told that, i think. i will take your advice into consideration and make sure to always capitalise my i's in the future. i thank you for bringing this to my attention and i feel like a better person for it

    also great job apologising for your mistakes when you were proven to be a fucking idiot, in recognising your error. it's a step in the right direction of not being an appalling human being who gets pissed off by the tiniest shit. i respct your humility

    ReplyDelete
  71. @.: GOD. DAMN. IT. IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ANY OF THOSE WORDS MEAN. HUMAN DON'T ACT LIKE THIS, R., WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU? DID SOMEBODY TEACH THEIR SPHINCTER HOW TO TYPE? ARE YOU A FUCKING SINGLE-CELL ORGANISM OR SOMETHING? PLEASE. STOP. JUST DON'T TYPE. GOD I WAS FEELING BETTER AFTER THAT ABORTION THING AND YOU COME BACK AND NOW I'M BACK TO THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE SUB-HUMANS AND NRRRRRGGGGGRRRAAAAAAAAA

    Unrelated but you know another thing I hate, that comment where the guy says "lol guys all webcomics are crap except for *random shit that he likes* lol". The whole "most of everything sucks" meme is the HIV-laden pre-cum from the diseased cock that is TV Tropes and it makes you look fucking stupid when you say it. Unless you've actually EXPERIENCED EVERY PIECE OF ART ON THE PLANET I don't want to hear you talking about statistics. And adding in "except for this one bullshit thing that I like" is an especially retarded touch, because it shows that you're not actually even thinking pseudo-deep thoughts, you're just repeating something you heard like a fucking parrot.

    ....that is another thing that I hate.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Unless you've actually EXPERIENCED EVERY PIECE OF ART ON THE PLANET I don't want to hear you talking about statistics.

    i don't think you know what that word means, sir.

    captcha: rearside.
    ...
    ...
    ...

    ReplyDelete
  73. I really don't understand the Nazi comic.

    So the German scientists were better at making rockets than the American scientists? So what? The rocketry programme was fairly disconnected from any of the Nazis real atrocities. They didn't power them on holocaust victims and, as far as I can tell, none of them were staunch Nazis. Werher von Braun himself stated, after being forced to join the NSDAP to continue his work, that "My membership in the party did not involve any political activities". So the whole idea that in order to build successful rockets they had to put the "Nazis" in charge is absolutely false.

    These scientists were the best of their field and just happened to be German. Randall's comic is a complete farce and I really fucking hate it when he tries to make little comments like this on history without actually learning anything beyond a cursory glance at the wikipedia article beforehand.

    ReplyDelete
  74. 5:09, you realize you're talking about history, right? Do you realize what history is? History is LIBERAL ART. Randall Munroe is a SCIENTIST. How can you expect him to lower himself and actually learn anything about some filthy liberal art? He worked for NASA!

    ReplyDelete
  75. Also, Achewood sucks. I do not understand why I would want to see some horribly drawn dog-man abomination get molested in the back of a van. I do not want to see that. Ever, in any context.

    ReplyDelete
  76. @10:13: I'm a petro engineer and I made 105K working for Chevron straight out of college. Now I make 120K. And I despise XKCD.

    So your insinuation is a mite unreliable.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Well, I love xkcd and I make 513.9 million dollars per year working at NASA as the head of a department of scientists who study Randall Munroe. You don't even know how important he is to our space program. The only reason we stopped sending rockets up is because Randall's wife got cancer. It's a very important project.

    ReplyDelete
  78. So guys I only like the webcomics "Hark! A Vagrant," "Chainsawsuit," and... actually that's it. I dislike SMBC nowadays now that all Zack does is set up some untenable ridiculous construction for 12 panels then tear it down in 3. It's gay.

    What do y'all enlightened folk think about my webcomic choices? Respond ASAP, please.

    ReplyDelete
  79. more like hark a gaygrant, amirite

    ReplyDelete
  80. "Hark! A Vagrant" is brilliantly funny, although seemingly less so these days, because Kate Beaton combines a strong education in History with a top-notch talent for picking out the absurd things that have happened in our past for comedic effect.

    I think her work has declined recently, though, because her obligations to the comic have been moved to the backburner in favour of her actual paying job. Most of her work these days has either been rehashing earlier ideas or poking fun at book covers and famous literature. It's still funny, and I still enjoy it, but it's not as charmingly good fun as her earlier more history-oriented work.

    ReplyDelete
  81. james, PLEASE DON'T BE A REAL PERSON . i DON'T THINK i COULD LIVE WITH THAT

    i mean you sound like the most unbearable doof. that "single-cell[sic] organism" insult doesn't even make sense. it's like you just found out what a cell is in biology class and are eager to display your specialised knowledge. the same with meme (i'm guessing you find lolcats and rick-rolls funny.) also you actually used the word "sub-humans." i mean christ, what next? neurotypical? i mean you obviously can't grasp what people are trying to say (HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING THAT ISN'T LITERALLY TRUE, I HATE YOU!!!!!)

    i AM AN INTERNET USER I CAPITALISE ALL MY WORDS AND CALL PEOPLE FAGTARDS. AIN'T i COOL AND EDGY??? FUCKING FUCKING FUCKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i AM BASICALLY A YOUTUBE COMMENT

    ReplyDelete
  82. EVERYTHING SUCKS AND i HATE IT. i HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY EVERYTHING SUCKS YOU FAGTARDS

    ReplyDelete
  83. @7:31: "I work for Chevron and I despise xkcd" is as good an advertisement for xkcdsucks as "I am Hitler and I am vegetarian" is for vegetarianism.

    ReplyDelete
  84. @everyone: There's not one poster on this forum who has demonstrated himself as in any way smart.

    Although you, the reader, will now be thinking, "BLARGH I AM REALLY SMART I WENT TO HARDVARD I EARN $100,000/MONTH I DONT NEED TO PROVE MYSELF HERE" what's actually true is that you cannot prove yourself here because you have no discernible talent.

    A genius, with the exception of those who are crippled in very specific ways, can show himself to be so whatever his medium. But you're all stupid at worst, mediocre at best.

    I know what I am. I am just an average guy. But I have balls to admit it. You are living in denial.

    ReplyDelete
  85. @R.: Man, you seriously need to calm down now. It's just the internet, dude! Chill out! And sub-human is the BEST insult, although I'm really proud of "HIV-laden cum of the diseased cock that is _____" and will be trying to work it into my speech more.

    @Ravenzomg: Guys if I ever misuse a word, I never do that and you're wrong. I'm either just using it in a way that you don't recognize, but that is still correct, or I've made a typo. You might wanna write this down.

    (Jesus, It's like I need to make a FAQ just so that you fucks can INTERACT with me.)

    @ANON 9:07: GET A NAME SO I CAN BERATE YOU PROPERLY AND ALSO MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ PERRY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP OR DR. MCNINJA OR IF YOU'RE INTO FANTASY GUNNERKRIGG COURT OR RUSTY AND CO ARE ALSO PRETTY GOOD I THINK THAT YOU WOULD LIKE THEM.

    @Anon directly above me: That reminds me of ANOTHER one, that stupid fuck who made some long pretentious comment and just had to throw "a paper in my field". Practically Randall-esque

    ReplyDelete
  86. You know, all things considered this thread is a beautiful work of art compared to the last one.

    ReplyDelete
  87. i have a paper in my field

    i really ought to ask my gardener to pick it up

    ReplyDelete
  88. I have a paper in my field. Actually it looks like a diaper. Fucking urban foxes. This is what happens when you ban hunting with hounds.

    captcha: unonsc: United Nations Orrible Nonce Shooting Committee

    ReplyDelete
  89. @James: On the Unwarranted Self-Importance scale I'd rate you about 0.4 ALTFs.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Man, I was hoping James was a genuine angry moron, but it turns out he's not that angry.

    We need ALTF back. She was the best at bringing out the worst in people.

    ReplyDelete
  91. @Ruiqi: "Angry"? I've been angry before, and it is possible for me to be MADE angry, but I don't think I would CHARACTERIZE myself as angry. This is because, as a human, you see, I can feel a wide variety of emotions! I can be angry, or happy, or sad, or any variation of those three like smug, dissappointed, or giddy. Humans do this. They feel emotions. Then they feel other ones.

    Maybe you all should make a FAQ for ME, honestly, so that I can learn what you THINK your saying when you type. That makes a lot more sense, really.

    (also, what is an ALTF)

    ReplyDelete
  92. That "your" up there is intentional, by the way. Feel free to correct it. You're all so pathetic, you see, that giving you something you can be RIGHT about is my version of generosity.

    ...

    In fact every typo I've ever made or will ever make was done for that reason.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Are you guys irritated yet? I mean, if you're not irritated by my comments yet, there is something wrong with you. Hell, I'm pretty annoyed by them, and I WROTE them.

    ReplyDelete
  94. >> James == ALTF
    1

    ReplyDelete
  95. FASCINATING. You see, we learn a bit about sub-human nature here. According to the above James, who is not me (actually, only three of the "James" posts were really made by me - odd) I am making comments in order to "irritate" people. This is nonsense, obviously - I wouldn't know how to go about irritating a group of TOTAL STRANGERS and wouldn't WANT to do so if I did (My comments may irritate some people, of course - "We Are the World" irritated SOMEONE - but that is THEIR fault, not mine). Now, a human sees a comment that irritates him and thinks about ways he can refute it, or he ignores it. A sub-human is driven to the point of distraction by it, and begins concoting elaborate conspiracy theories surrounding it - "He's TRYING to get on my nerves! It's all a set-up!" lol. This is a legitimate way to spend time, to a sub-human.

    ReplyDelete
  96. "Now, a human sees a comment that irritates him and thinks about ways he can refute it, or he ignores it. A sub-human is driven to the point of distraction by it, and begins concoting elaborate conspiracy theories surrounding it"

    Gotta love the hypocrisy there.

    I take it back, James. You haven't disappointed me. Continue!

    ReplyDelete
  97. I am part of (demographic X) and I make (salary Y) and I (opinion Z), along with everyone I know in (demographic X), therefore (opinion Z) is fact

    ReplyDelete
  98. "(Jesus, It's like I need to make a FAQ just so that you fucks can INTERACT with me.)"

    This inspires untold amounts of rage in me. It's AN FAQ! Not "a FAQ," but "AN FAQ!" You can look this up if you don't believe me. But the thing is, the letter "F" is actually pronounced "eff" and therefore, you see, it technically beings with a vowel sound, the "e" sound. It's not a word that begins with the letter "F", it is an acronym that is pronounced "eff ay cue" and therefore you need to say "AN" before it, because the starting sound is a vowel! Again, you can look this up online in grammar resources if you do not believe me, but this is the technically correct way. But you shouldn't even need to look it up because it should just be obvious, you should just be able to tell what SOUNDS right, do none of you speak English, WTF. Still, though, look it up, if your insane mind somehow doubts me.

    ReplyDelete
  99. 3:52

    I find it hard to imagine that I'm the only individual in the world that pronounces FAQ as a word. Think "fack." In my head (as well as many other people's heads, I'm sure) it is A FAQ, so get the fuck over it.

    ReplyDelete
  100. BLARG WHO DARES USE WORDS DIFFERENT THAN I DO BLAAAARG

    ReplyDelete
  101. @Anon 3:52: You know, that is an excellent point! I've always thought about it (and pronounced it) as "fak", but it is indeed an acronym and thus my use of "a" instead of "an" was incorrect! Thank you! I can use this information to avoid making this mistake in the future!

    (That is how humans handle criticism, R.)

    ReplyDelete
  102. James, I am currently masturbating. What do you think about when you masturbate? Were you masturbating while typing any of the above posts? Are you happy with your life? Have you made a positive difference? What does your sperm taste like? Nodding heads want to know.

    ReplyDelete
  103. james doesn't know what an acronym is.

    hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  104. R. is the greatest acronym to ever be.

    ReplyDelete
  105. every human is subhuman

    *hugs james*

    ReplyDelete
  106. Why does everyone think that the level of English is the most accurate indication of someone's intelligence?

    On the Internet, making a grammar error makes you some sort of retard, and everyone likes to go round correcting every mistake they see, because they'll be seen a geniuses.

    You think people who use text speak on facebook walls are idiots? If you actually had any non-idiot friends, you'd know that a lot of intelligent, educated people use text speak.

    From my experience, those who type properly with caps and punctuation are mostly pseudointellectual drop outs, artistic liberals, etc.

    On the other hand, being bad at math is totally cool: "I'm so terrible at math I can't even add lololol," when mathematical ability correlates directly with intelligence, and skipping it serves no intelligible purpose.

    ReplyDelete
  107. We correct grammar when we're losing an argument and to make people like you waste time writing long explanations to our simple jests

    ReplyDelete
  108. You must be new, 7:26

    ReplyDelete
  109. Yeah, 7:08 is just using a copypasta.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Sounds like Randall has a drinking problem. I'm not making a pun, just saying he must have totally fucked up his liver if it's possible for him to consistently pee immediately after drinking a bit of water.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I think that would be a kidney problem, not a liver problem.

    ReplyDelete
  112. this is what i think of you all!December 4, 2011 at 11:11 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqn7ILWOr_c
    interpret this however you want, it will probably be correct

    ReplyDelete
  113. James we are kindred spirits. Are you wearing a 'BADASS LONGCAT' and/or Fedora? I am wearing THREE fedori! That's like triple Rorfag.

    HEH, SAMEFAGS

    ReplyDelete
  114. ITT: ALTF Samefagging

    I hoped she'd be agone from this world, but seems tis not so.

    For even the Burmese tolerate not that cunt

    ReplyDelete
  115. Copypasta in 7:08 is wrong. I'm a math postgrad and I'm stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Today's comic seems like Randall's genuine attempt at making the worst comic ever.





    WATER

    ReplyDelete
  117. for someone who thinks that not knowing stuff about science makes you an arsehole he sure doesn't seem to care about basic biology. & if there are 2 missing labels rather than one extraneous one I don't know what the others should be, but that one should at least say





    PISS

    ReplyDelete
  118. I WONDER IF I COULD PISS CONSTANTLY

    ReplyDelete
  119. Is "artistic liberal" supposed to be an insult now?

    ReplyDelete
  120. Dicksmash McIroncockDecember 5, 2011 at 6:50 AM

    DRINK
    DRINK
    DRINK

    >: O

    ReplyDelete
  121. To think, if Megan was able to lactate continously, and Randy could drink slow enough, and eliminate fast enough (into Megan's mouth), there could be an endless loop of drinking and peeing milk! (or drinking pee and being milked, depending on the perspective).

    ReplyDelete
  122. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16614865/ns/us_news-life/t/woman-dies-after-water-drinking-contest/

    ReplyDelete
  123. Every time a new XKCD is posted, someone sends me the image. I know it's been said, but this damned comic is unavoidable as hell. (Note: If you're going to Heaven there's some other God's hell you're condemned to).

    It seems as though Randal has gotten past his creative, trying too hard, and grasping at straws stages. It's as if he now simply uses the comic as some others might use IRC or Twitter.

    Thrice a week I dread exposure to Randal's drivel; The suspense is almost worse than the comic itself.

    It's sad to think, "Is this the best you can do?", when the answer is obviously "Yes, yes unfortunately it is..."

    ReplyDelete
  124. "It's as if he now simply uses the comic as some others might use IRC."

    The majority of Randy's comics are based on IRC/IRL conversations, mostly quoted verbatim. It's been that way since the beginning, although fewer newer comics are based on convos. So, a more accurate description is "it's as if he used to use the comic as some others might have used IRC"

    ReplyDelete
  125. So Randall doesn't really understand biology? IF MEGAN CONTINUOUSLY DRINKS MILK SLOWLY ENOUGH CAN RANDY CONTINUALLY SQUEEZE HER NIPPLE MILK BETWEEN HIS TEETH?

    ReplyDelete
  126. "It's as if he now simply uses the comic as some others might use IRC or Twitter."

    That's it! xkcd is Randall's own, personal Facebook.

    ReplyDelete
  127. I don't usually do this any more, but this one post caught my eye.

    Kill me now, unless it's a troll. Please say he/she/it's trolling. Oh God.

    Thankfully this post balanced it out.

    Son of a cuddlefish, people are actually debating the science of today's comic. Whyyyy?

    However this post is made of win.

    I'M SO CONFUSED!

    ReplyDelete
  128. cunnilingus is not kosher because it has hooves

    ReplyDelete
  129. disregard that, I suck cocks.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Hey guys, everyone spread the 7:08 Copypasta to any blogs or forums you're a member of

    That way we will have a lasting pasta to our own credit

    ReplyDelete
  131. DISREGARD THAT i SUCK COCKS

    ReplyDelete
  132. Jon Levi I always wondered why it wasn't enough for you just to like TVTropes you had to be some crazy obsessive fucker about it. Now I know

    ReplyDelete
  133. i'm serious, guys. i really do suck cocks. dead, fucking, serious.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Re: von Braun
    To the person who said he was a nice guy during WWII, I call bullshit. He knew that guards killed inmates working at Mittlebau-Dora; he ordered one prisoner whipped 25 times, he watched as prisoners were hung by chains from hoists. He was not just some flunkie NSDAP (Nazi party) member; he was a Sturmbannfuerer in the Waffen-SS - yes I know he claims he was forced to do both (be a party member and SS man), but there are people who question his version of the events. My point is, you can't seperate the man from the place he worked at from 1942-45; he was an ancillary part of the German concentration camp system.

    ReplyDelete
  135. No, I think we should spread the "I don't think it's okay" meme.

    ReplyDelete
  136. @Anon 12:59
    Ah, great. I was just waiting for your esteemed input. Now that we all know what you think: ::whew:: Wait's Over! Get to work folks, you heard the Anon.

    ReplyDelete
  137. samefag = 12:59 = samefag = 1:16 = samefag = samefag = samefag

    ReplyDelete
  138. Fuck off, dickhead.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Dicksmash McIroncockDecember 5, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    samefag != samefag = samefag

    ReplyDelete
  140. Everyone who's ever posted here = dickfag

    ReplyDelete
  141. COUNTER-PUNCH!

    ReplyDelete
  142. I just want to firmly install this thread in the gutter where it belongs by stating that I like pee and I would probably do Megan if she peed for me.

    ReplyDelete
  143. *hugs James*

    man I can never follow these threads at all

    ReplyDelete
  144. Dickfags AnonymousDecember 5, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    seth = dickfag

    ReplyDelete
  145. Do you retards really waste your life and your time trolling a single autist with mildly funny results?

    Firstly, that sort of obsession is one of the hallmarks of autism itself and I wouldn't be surprised if half of you are of Randall' level or worse. Secondly, there are thousands of lolcows all around the internet to milk by trolling, yet you focus on one. And not a particularly remarkable one either! That's some deep psychosis, likely, right there.

    Maybe y'all are in it for the community. No comment is forthcoming on my part whether a community of autistic trolls is one worth belonging to, but in the long haul of it y'all come off to an impartial observer as desperate sycophants scheming for the glory of being famous on the internet, of taking part in something taboo and forbidden, and of being part of whatever wretched group of aspergoids will take you in.

    Overall, a shit state of affairs wouldn't you agree?

    ReplyDelete
  146. Hi anonymous 7:11,

    I always find it funny when people say we're wasting our lives here. I don't think very many people associate themselves with this blog outside of this blog. We spend maybe 10 minutes a day (if you're actually reading all the comments and making a post) here.

    Like many others, this site is just one small stop in my life. (Except for that one guy - Anonymous - who seems to live here.)

    ReplyDelete
  147. I spend most of my time with this blog loaded in my browser. Every time I've finished writing a chapter in my groundbreaking novel or have completed a section of my current painting I reload the comments and add my own delectable banter to the mix. I find it really helps round out my day.

    ReplyDelete
  148. @ 7:48 PM

    Why should one waste his time following and updating on unfunny banter between idiots, each trolling harder than the last? Any measure of time, really? Even if it's only a few minutes.

    Also fuck you, you're a plant.

    ReplyDelete
  149. The direct answer to your question is this:
    There is no reason.

    But you say it's unfunny. I find many parts of this funny - for example the creation of an entire hateblog for a silly and lighthearted comic is amusing.

    Then again, I'm a plant so I spend most of my time photosynthesizing for you ungrateful axe-wielding murderers anyway :(

    ReplyDelete
  150. ecophilia just isn't as strong as it used to be. that's the real crime that congress needs to focus on =[

    ReplyDelete
  151. re 986:

    shouldn't the title text say "drink quickly enough and eliminate slowly enough"? how does what he have make any sense? normally you piss out water much faster than you drink it, so you'd want to do the opposite here.

    oh, sorry, analyzing an xkcd title text is as pointless as randall's fawning over megan's delicious breast milk.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Your fleshy meatbrain is working backwards, mortal Anonymous 11:20. Read over what you said or else




    WATER

    ReplyDelete
  153. 7:11, lolcow. really? and you're using aspergers as an insult? says it all

    and how are we trolling him if he doesn't even read this. can you seriously not imagine anyone doing anything on the internet that doesn't count as trolling?

    did ed or 4chan link to this blog? is that how you got here?

    ReplyDelete
  154. today i trolled my shoes by tying my laces
    i trolled an author by reading his book
    i trolled a bridge by eating goat
    this comedian trolled me with a joke
    i trolled my brain by waking up a little too late
    troll troll troll what do words mean

    and if there is one thing less productive and more evident of severe personality problems than reading this crappy blog, it's trolling. the actual kind

    ReplyDelete
  155. I'm here because I believe hate is the only positive, universal force for change. Love is selfish, exclusive and apathetic. Which married man ever achieved anything great?

    I wouldn't say no to a quickie from Ravenzomg!, however. She has that homely look about her which makes me want to pull her pants down and roughly take her from behind.

    ReplyDelete
  156. The best kind of trolling is where you try to get a community to defend its own existence by way of posing question that should elicit existential crisis.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I'm done with this aspie house and going back to *chan, where trolling MEANS something.

    ReplyDelete
  157. if anyone should have an existential crisis, it's the kid who's being pretentious about trolling and 4chan. it's not a mask or bait, it's what you actually believe. you may make these awful troll personas but they pale in comparison to how much of a profoundly shit human being you actually, truly are

    you are being pretentious about trolling and 4chan. just think about that for a second, if you can even have an independent opinion on something

    ReplyDelete
  158. Trolling is in the best case what you say you were doing when the house of cards forming your argument comes crashing down.

    In the worst case, you come into an argument deciding that you're a troll because you failed so many times in the past that you know it's not even worth making an effort.

    ReplyDelete
  159. only autists use the word "autist"

    ReplyDelete
  160. Look. We all have problems. If we didn't, we wouldn't be here. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WATER

    ReplyDelete
  161. Did you just expel water, Ravenzomg!?

    ReplyDelete
  162. Ravenzomg = 8:47 = attention whore

    ReplyDelete
  163. fake R., would you please stop making me look so pathetic. what have i ever done to you

    ReplyDelete
  164. what have i ever done to you?????????
    you making me look so pathetic!
    what have i ever done to you??????

    ReplyDelete
  165. Aaaaaand the thread becomes retarded as soon as I leave for a few hours. What a shock. If left completely to your own devices you morons would just devolve back to primordial ooze, wouldn't you?

    ReplyDelete
  166. It's actually quite amazing that you manage to type so well when you have two dicks in your ass and one in your mouth, James.

    ReplyDelete
  167. It's pretty easy actually once you get the hang of it.

    Sources: Personal experience

    ReplyDelete
  168. I was wondering what do people's sperm all taste like? I mailed Randall to ask what his tasted like but he didn't reply. I know he's gay because he worked at NASA which became Starfleet which is where Wil Wheaton worked and he had the pederast thing with Jean-Luc for like three seasons. Anyway I digress cock anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  169. You all really do have very sad lives to impersonate me and pretend to be fulfilled.

    And I do know what sperm tastes like, because I'm gay and I'm a bottom. And there's nothing wrong with that.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Ignore previous poster. I am gay but I am not a bottom and the only tasting of sperm is of mine by others.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Ignore last three posters. I am pedo and no-one I'd want to copulate with would be old enough to ejaculate.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Disregard fake James at 12:28. I'm not gay, but I have been raped in the mouth many, many times, so I'm very familiar with the taste of sperm.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Mentally strike thru 12:33: although it is true that I have been raped in the mouth many, many times I did enjoy it and as such ought to admit that I would willingly bat for the other side if I weren't restrained from walking onto the field since that time I fucked half a Junior League.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Ignore these imposters.
    Not only am I gay, I was also raped in the mouth several times, once in the anus, and I also own my own junior league who bring me dinner every night and stay for twinkle time bed time stories.
    I can confirm I AM also a bottom.

    You guys are very immature.

    ReplyDelete
  175. This is the first time I have posted in this thread and all the Jameses above me are not me.

    I am really not surprised to see comments of this quality on a blog dedicated to hating some harmless but clever and popular webcomic. I post on the xkcd forums and while very occasionally someone doesnt understand the comic mostly the people there are insightful and give some good things to think about.

    Also, yes, as it happens I am gay and I am typing this while rimming my boyfriend. He is actually older than me by 12 days and I don't see why that's any of your business but I am not a pedo. I did fancy other boys at school but that's when I was at school too and I've stopped teaching there now.

    Anyway have a happy holidays I have a life I'm off.

    ReplyDelete
  176. I can't believe anyone would think that these plebs are me. Of course I'm not a bottom, that would be classy. I am but a simple cum dumpster, an ookie cookie, the center of the circle jerk. Oh sure I pleasure myself whilst everyone commemorates my face with their salacious seed and taste my own anal juices in the process, butt I AM NOT A BOTTOM.

    I am a power center.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Previous poster clearly does not know me. I am not so dominant as to be the biscuit. I am but the rag which wipes the floor under the biscuit.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Not QUITE what I'd hoped for, I'll admit, but infinitely better than post after post of retards misunderstanding words like "Life", "Time", and "Troll".

    ReplyDelete
  179. Also, please stop talking and cum on me. I'm begging you.

    ReplyDelete
  180. You can not be serious...

    "Well, in addition to criticizing Randall, you've also criticised the rest of us who have, at one point, wondered - if even momentarily - whether a continuous loop is possible. We may immediately realise that the kidneys provide the limiting factor and probably surmise that the max drip rate from the kidneys is less than the min pee drip rate that would qualify as what one would qualify as "continuous", etc., etc. Does that make it pointless that we've wondered that at some point in our lives?"

    ReplyDelete
  181. Also, who's betting that James is an alias for Randall?

    ReplyDelete
  182. Now that one was just tasteless.

    ReplyDelete
  183. James, pee has quite a lingering acrid taste. Stinging and almost repulsive if strong.

    ReplyDelete
  184. you are all having an intellectual conversation about a pee joke


    stop it

    ReplyDelete
  185. We can't stop while it's being shoved down our throats, 3:09. We have Randall super-kidneys because biology is only applied physics thus an easy science which can be ignored.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Does anyone else think it's incredibly sad that this blog even exists? Randall Munroe, whether you like what he does or not, is simply an artist who is sharing his work at no cost to you. If you don't like XKCD, you don't have to view it. It's that simple. And, frankly, it's a bit disturbing that you seem to get off on spouting this kind of stuff toward someone who didn't do anything to you. It seems to be symptomatic of an underlying problem in your psyche.

    Billions of people read XKCD and enjoy it. If you don't, there are hundreds of other webcomics out there for you to enjoy. There's no point whatsoever in sitting around in your basement being angry about one particular comic strip, beyond showing the world what a sad, lonely jerk you are.

    I know I'll probably be flamed for this post, but it needed to be said, and I'm sure there are others out there who agree with me.

    ReplyDelete
  187. "Does anyone else think it's incredibly sad that this blog even exists?"

    No. Nobody has ever suggested that in the history of this blog. You are truly a beautiful, unique snowflake.

    "Billions of people read XKCD"

    lol

    ReplyDelete