Sunday, November 6, 2011

Comic 974: Pass The Humor, This Comic Is Bland

the general problem

[Comic title: The General Problem; alt text: I find that when someone's taking time to do something right in the present, they're a perfectionist with no ability to prioritize, whereas when someone took time to do something right in the past, they're a master artisan of great foresight.]

This is another one of those comics which might have been okay if Randy had left it alone. It's possible this is just my "I hate when geeks do this" talking, but I am always happy to see the geek's tendency to spend hours trying to come up with a way to make a task that takes very little take time take even less time satirized. Which is what the comic is standing on its own!

Of course, we still see that Randy isn't quite sure what a beat panel is for. Apparently he thinks it indicates that twenty minutes have lapsed. Apparently, he also waits for twenty minutes before asking for the salt again when his request is initially ignored. Admittedly, whenever I ask someone to pass the salt it ends like this, so I may not be the best person to judge, but I feel that most people would have either repeated their request, gotten it themselves, or flung the salt shaker against the wall to make a point by the time twenty minutes had lapsed.

(This is as good a time as any to note that when people complain that a comic is not realistic, they are actually complaining that it lacks verisimilitude. The distinction is nontrivial: a fantasy adventure story may not be realistic, in that it contains wizards and elves and women who are not frivolous and weak, but it may contain verisimilitude. That is to say, when reading the story, the wizards and elves and women who are not frivolous and weak are believable within the context of the story. They behave in believable fashions. When reading about the wizards and elves and women who are not frivolous and weak, verisimilitude is never broken by someone saying "wait, that wouldn't happen." Randy, in contrast, can hardly go two comics without making people stop and say "wait, that wouldn't happen.")

I suggested in the opening sentence of this review that Randy didn't leave it alone. He usually fails to leave his comics alone by injecting an alt text that usually completely ruins it. In the alt text, he reveals himself to be the tortured genius that he is. No doubt he spent too much time performing a mundane task in recent memory and he was called out on it. "I bet you nobody called Einstein out for being a perfectionist when he was inventing the light bulb," he muttered, finishing his mundane task more quickly than he would like--but he swore then and there that he would exact vengeance by writing about it on his comic one day, oh yes.

I admit it is possible that a whiny alt text like this one could just be the product of Randy's imagination, but it nevertheless reads like Randy has problems with the fact that his so-called perfectionism annoys people when it makes him unable to perform simple tasks in a timely fashion. So he draws a false dichotomy: "if you don't let me focus on frivolous minutiae whenever I feel like it no one will ever look back on my works and proclaim me a genius!"

The sad fact is, of course, that Randy already has a legion of fans who are happy to proclaim his works a genius even when he patently spent no time on it at all. He has a persecution complex, but no persecution, even when that persecution would be richly deserved.

137 comments:

  1. Einstein invented the lightbulb.

    YOU FUCKING IDIOT I HOPE YOU DIE GOAT-FUCKER

    captcha: semonday
    the most wonderful time of the year

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  2. rob you stupid fucker

    it was alexander graham bell who invented the lightbulb

    dumb shit

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  3. alexander graham bell invented the bell you dumbass

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  4. You are all retards. God invented the lightbulb. God invented everything.

    I have it on good authority that Randall's marriage is already a bit rocky. His wife wants him to get a proper job, but he wants to continue biding his time until he can do it properly and swoop in to snatch up the ULTIMATE job.

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  5. I have it on good authority that Randall's wife is really two midgets in a trenchcoat. Their names have not been confirmed, but both are quite pretty.

    Captcha is bleso. What does that mean!?!

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  6. Rob I must sincerely thank you for teaching me the meaning of the word versimilitude. I did not know such a word existed and I have been explaining fantasy fictions all wrong this whole time.

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  7. I kind of wish it weren't a necessary word, because people should be smart enough to understand that when you complain about something not being believable it is not because of the presence of wizards. But alas.

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  8. I have a theory to propose: We are all merely different sections of fat on Rob's body that separately gained sentience when lightning struck the grease and flatulence being released from his pores and anus.

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  9. I too am glad to see Rob use a word such as versimilitude; For it's an important word used regularly amongst those who work in various entertainment fields (eg: video games). I've been required to define the term for others more times than I've counted. I'm glad there's at least one less person in the world that needs such explanation now.

    Additionally: Kudos to you for the meta-redundancy in both the definition itself and the follow up comment. I can only hope that one day I'll achieve such a high degree of thoroughness when it comes to being redundantly redundant.

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  10. in my experience, thoroughness is the best defense against idiocy

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  11. This is a useful word to know, especially in the context of xkcd.

    I feel like randall has done this before, with the ingredient-selecting algorithm. I forget what comic that was. But it was about inefficient ways to prepare dinners geekily, so...

    I also think this joke must be more tired and worn out than the chair in which rob deposits his corpulent mass. I have no evidence, it just seems really obvious. "Hahaha, geeks spend a lot of time finding ways to save time!"

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  12. guys this new word verisimilitude is really big and starts with the uncommon letter v not a common letter like a b or a g or something i mean who has read the dictionary all the way up to v? only a genius that's who

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  13. goomh i know what verisimilitude means too

    rob, what are some other sort of obscure words that we both know. maybe you could make t-shirts

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  14. i can see it now

    a wizard above the words "verisimilitude, bitches"

    it's glorious

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  15. This review lacks the verisimilitude to contain nipples.

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  16. Why do you hate women, Rob?

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  17. oh shit i forgot to make milk jokes :(

    it's even a food comic :(

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  18. " Why do you hate women, Rob?"
    women raped my daughter

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  19. img683.imageshack.us/img683/2239/thisisstupid.png

    There we go.

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  20. I think I actually had a dream last night that Carl started reviewing here again.

    I need to spend less time here.

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  21. Joel on Software on Architecture Astronauts

    It is an interesting and amusing phenomenon, but Randall doesn't really make anything out of it.

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  22. >written in two thousand one
    >written by a jew
    >thinks Java, .net, and XML are irrelevant and useless

    Noice

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  23. >2011
    >implying Java, .net and XML aren't irrelevant and useless

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  24. Rob, what's your favorite xkcd?

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  25. The joke seems to ripped off a quote by Nathaniel Borenstein, not sure the original context, but it's mentioned here: http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2007/05/your-favorite-programming-quote.html

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  26. A simpler way to put it is "in fiction we will accept the impossible but not the improbable." Therefore we accept wizards or warp drive (literally impossible) but we can't accept a guy quietly waiting for 20 minutes for someone to pass the salt (technically possible but vanishingly improbable).

    Also I don't get this comic at all. Not like, "I don't think it's funny," but like "I don't understand what idea, concept, or action Randall is attempting to describe by saying 'system to pass you arbitrary condiments.'"

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  27. My internet won't access any site but this one. FML.

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  28. @9:41AM.

    Lazy Susan?

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  29. It was a really vivid dream as well. When I checked the blog this morning, it took me a few seconds to realise that it hadn't actually happened.

    @Anon 9:41 - I believe he's saying 'Wait a bit longer and I'll create a system that will pass you any condiment you want.' I can see why you don't understand it, as it's terribly phrased. 'Arbitrary' was certainly the wrong word to use. No one would use it for that meaning in that context. No one but Randall.

    But alas, the comic's biggest flaw is the flawed premise. What was off-panel strawman making? Perhaps a robotic hand that passes condiments? That would not save time. I don't believe Randall even had an idea of what it was.

    Whatever it was, it would be worth showing on panel. All he shows us instead is a stickman who barely moves. Gamer would call this a script comic, as the art adds absolutely nothing.

    Let's see, we've ticked the boxes for stilted dialogue, unrealistic strawman, show don't tell, flawed premise, script comic, and floating heads. Ladies and gentlemen, I think this is the worst xkcd ever.

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  30. That post took me too long to write. It would help if Blogger didn't delete my post halfway through because I accidentally clicked on a link.

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  31. Also the artwork is terrible. I guess he gets credit for not just reusing the same panel three times (although he may as well have), but notice how both the table and the chairback kind of move up and down relative to the character, and how the table gets noticeably thinner from panel one to three.

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  32. @ 11:16
    Where are you from?

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  33. "What was off-panel strawman making?"

    A system, which could literally refer to anything from a completely built and programmed robot, to the psuedocode written on a napkin to program a robot, to a Rube Goldberg machine.

    What a waste of potential, maybe if the punchline was *what* system was being made. So much wasted potential.

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  34. This comic made me pause. It seems to me to actually be more of the old picto-blog type comics; this was a message to algorithm writers from one. Well i'm assuming randy considers himself a designer of algorithms.

    There actually is a question of "do i just do this quick and dirty, or do i take more time now to produce a general solution." Of course the answer to this question takes about 3 seconds. All you have to do is think "am i being a fucking moron by violating the first rule of engineering (KISS)?" Thats keep it simple stupid for you non-engineers.

    The more i think about it, the more this comic seems like a veiled cry for help from randy's subconsciousness. maybe there is an engineer in there somewhere trying to tell randy to stop being a fucking moron and just pass the salt; we aren't in a salt shaker factory that while require thousands of shaker passings.

    fuck.

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  35. Hey Rob.

    Comic!

    It's nice that you have xkcd with its alt-text. I'm hoping that soon, I'll be able to come to this one-stop site for (hopefully) a double-dose of humor (it's true that xkcd is losing its edge, so I'll have to settle for just your sardonic one, I suppose.

    I was wondering if there was a way to convert this blog into webcomic-like format for piperka.net to crawl?

    Cheers.
    Evilbober

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  36. You keep on saying that "Randy" uses straw man arguments, and yet you are the one who does that, against him, all the time.

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  37. Rob said...
    " Why do you hate women, Rob?"
    women raped my daughter

    November 7, 2011 12:54 AM




    Is that a joke?

    If so, it is worse than any from xkcd, but hey, this is your blog.

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  38. "Is that a joke?"

    no, it is very serious

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  39. " You keep on saying that "Randy" uses straw man arguments, and yet you are the one who does that, against him, all the time."

    you say that like you think i am making arguments or something

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  40. Oh, and the alt text was terrible. I forgot to memtion that.

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  41. I think this was the best review I've read on here in a long time.

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  42. I have to agree. This is, in fact, a decent review. It criticizes valid standpoints, doesn't make any corny dead horse jokes (MIIILK), and is well-reasoned. I could totally settle for this any day.

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  43. the lack of milk jokes was unintentional, i assure you

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  44. Imagine a festering, gaping wound, dripping bloody pus, in the hairy asscrack of idiocy and insanity that is the internet. Every once in a while the internet decides to take a massive, diarrhoea-laden shit and the rotting feces mixes with the thrice-spewt blood and stinking putridity. Imagine this noxious concoction stored in a bottle and left in the thick Ghanaian sun for a month or so.

    This substance is not some extended metaphor for the furry fandom. I would not stoop so low. It is, literally and truly, what the average furry drinks, lives, and bathes in; this shattity is the pure essence of the furry movement and its very gist. Were you to boil the heart of a furry, such an acerbic would be exactly what you would get.

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  45. Welcome your new lifeNovember 7, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    4:05 Sounds like a classic case of "overblown homophobe is himself gay"

    Only you and with furries.

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  46. furryphile and scatophile, what a nice mix
    4:05, maybe we can have sexytimes together? (i am male dressed as a lizard covered in shit)

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  47. lolrandumb

    Seriously, though, why did you feel the need to post this?

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  48. ok, dudes, if you don't understand what labor saving device could possibly be designed you gotta go check out the opening scene for The Scarecrow. Skip to 4:32 if you have the attention span of an internet regular.

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  49. Because this is where I post every rant, silly Michael

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  50. I want to hear the Grammar Rant again.

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  51. Once you see the visible stick figure as a weird tri-pod alien, you can't unsee it.

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  52. 6:57,

    Why does everyone think that the level of English is the most accurate indication of someone's intelligence?

    On the Internet, making a grammar error makes you some sort of retard, and everyone likes to go round correcting every mistake they see, because they'll be seen a geniuses.

    You think people who use text speak on facebook walls are idiots? If you actually had any non-idiot friends, you'd know that a lot of intelligent, educated people use text speak.

    From my experience, those who type properly with caps and punctuation are mostly pseudointellectual drop outs, artistic liberals, etc.

    On the other hand, being bad at math is totally cool: "I'm so terrible at math I can't even add lololol," when mathematical ability correlates directly with intelligence, and skipping it serves no intelligible purpose.

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  53. @raven

    maybe seeing it to begin with would help... time to lay off the LSD?

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  54. Did you guys know that New Yorkers are some of the most literate people in the world?

    It's true. Some of them can go through 110 stories in 15 seconds.

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  55. That joke is horrible, 7:34

    It's almost as bad as the 100 trillion Jews that died in the Holocaust

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  56. @7:21, I fixed it for you:

    "Why does everyone think that the attained level of mastery of the English language is the most accurate indication of someone's intelligence?

    On the Internet, making a grammatical error makes you some sort of retard, and everyone likes to go around correcting every mistake they see because they'll be seen as geniuses.

    Do you think people who use text speak on Facebook walls are idiots? If you actually had any non-idiot friends, then you'd know that a lot of intelligent, educated people use text speak.

    From my experience, those who type properly with caps and punctuation are mostly pseudo-intellectual drop-outs, artistic liberals, etc.

    On the other hand, being bad at math is totally cool: "I'm so terrible at math I can't even add lololol." Mathematical ability correlates directly with intelligence and skipping it serves no intelligible purpose.

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS"

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  57. Because languages should never change and stay at one fixed point FOREVERZ amirite? We should write like long-dead white men from the 1800s? Despite that they themselves altered their language from past norms, where it suited them? That's idiocy.

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  58. Good point, 8:48. Looks like you've won this argument!

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  59. Change is not necessarily a bad thing, 9:25. By that logic, of course, it is not necessarily a good thing.

    Text speak is not the evolution of a language, it is the foul diarrhea of a language due to food poisoning.

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  60. again with the diarrhea
    what the fuck is it with you people and feces

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  61. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  62. I had a dream last night that my mother was Black Hat Guy*. And by dream I of course mean wet dream. It is like a localised shower and it increases my internet posting efficiency by a not insignificant amount. Better the wetter is what I always assume.

    *Or in this case... GIRL?!?!

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  63. Bitter narcissistic douche. Sad this comes up in google search.

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  64. Maybe it's just because I hate everyone around me and shun all personal contact, but my dinners rarely even last 20 minutes.

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  65. Me too. I probably save a lot of time by never adding salt to food after it is served, though. I consider it an insult to the cook.

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  66. Dinners at which you spend 20 minutes in spiteful silence because you weren't given salt the first time you asked aren't much better.

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  67. @7:21
    I have some bad news for you: you're an idiot.

    Yes, some people are bad at math. Some of those admit it. There isn't some special overlap between them and people who don't like what you're calling "text speak." Just because you don't like two groups of people doesn't mean they're all the same people.

    Except for here, where I am all anons including you.

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  68. Rob I'm disappointed that you think Randy does introspection.

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  69. so guys i need your opinion, i pooped yesterday and it wasn't funny can you guys use you pseudo intellectual hivemindedness to explain why?

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  70. Shit be serious, yo

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  71. It wasn't funny because you did not believe in your poop. You must have faith in its abilities to make you laugh.

    Sometimes, your poop is sad and it needs your help to be funny. For instance, the next time you're in a public toilet, spread your poop all over the back of the stall door. It will be very funny for the next person who walks in there.

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  72. What's with the sudden onslaught of anonyfags?

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  73. I don't have a screen name, so I always stick to anonymous because it's too much pooping trouble to make one.

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  74. You don't have to go make a screen name. Just select Name/URL and type in some characters for the name. So easy, a cuddlefish could do it.

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  75. Em I duín it raît?

    Fonetic ingliš iz ð'baum, men

    Eni uan can chreyn ðemselfs tou rayt in it

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  76. Is it me or has the alt-text been getting increasingly verbose over the last few comics?

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  77. I never learned how to tripfag, and namefagging is stupid when anyone else can copy your name.

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  78. @dodoman1: I am pretty sure Randall is realizing that his comics aren't communicating anything at all, so he's overcompensating.

    That or it's all leading up to comic 1000, which will be a blank panel with an alt-text in the style of a rambling yearbook entry.

    That or he just sucks at telling jokes, but that's not empirically possible.

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  79. 1:33, you're stupid. Learn something called the IPA instead of "phonetically" writing out English words using ENGLISH PRONUNCIATION.
    Once you've thoroughly internalized the IPA, come back and write your sentence again.

    No, I will not transcribe the above paragraph to IPA. It's too long and English is too complex (well not really, just hard to type).

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  80. "Bitter narcissistic douche. Sad this comes up in google search."

    pretty sure I'm way too self-loathing to be narcissistic. I mean, not that I don't have a grab bag of exciting personality disorders, but narcissism isn't among them.

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  81. I know about the IPA you fucking retard fuck, Michael. IPA has too many symbols for what are considered allophones of a single vowel in English. We don't need a voiceless retroflex sibilant in english, nor a need to distinguish between [ʌ], [ə], and [ɝ] when they're all generally allophones of schwa. Also:

    >instead of "phonetically" writing out English words

    That's the whole fucking purpose of the IPA, you dolt. And I use English pronunciation since we have little use for 6 different modes for a shrt 'u' sound, ne c'est pas?

    Intro Linguistics 101 fags = all of my rage

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  82. i don't like IPAs much. Maritime makes a really good one though, you guys should try it.

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  83. stop. listen. to yourself. you're on the internet. arguing about phonetics. as i write this on a blog that criticizes a stick figure comic, i'm telling you that you could use this time for so much more. like criticize a stick figure comic. or call rob a fat ass. or complain about people arguing over phonetics. all of these are more productive uses of your time.

    captcha: mousedou. literary device used to describe when someone makes an obvious mistake, and nobody cares, and the world is a slightly better place for it.

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  84. Anybody else seen the I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy video? It's pretty funny.

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  85. Wow, Iran has nuclear weapons and is probably going to start World War III and you guys can't find anything better to do than get angry at a webcomic? Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

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  86. I wish a world war were imminent, that would be fun

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  87. This blog is like a really shitty really randumb forum but I still keep returning, as if drawn by some strange gravity exerted by a very large mass.

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  88. ^ I don't get it. Rob, what is he talking about?

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  89. IT'S TRUE I AM A FATTY ARE YOU HAPPY

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  90. iransucks.blogspot.cum

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  91. IRAN SUCKS!!!!I HATE THE MIDDLE EAST!!!! IT SUCKS!!!! MOVE TO THE MIDDLE EAST SO NO ONE HAS TO SEE YOUR UGLY!!!!

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  92. But if World War III happens and we all die or something, this might be the last opportunity we have to complain about the shittiest webcomic that I have bothered to look up (I'd say in existence, but I'm one of those naive-dreamer types who believes things like fairies and aliens and webcomics worse than xkcd are possibilities).

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  93. I really thought the punchline was going to be something like "yes, I CAN but I WON'T." So Randall kind of subverted my expectations here.

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  94. where is the xkcd

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  95. There are too many stars, guys.

    Too many.

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  96. Fear not. If Rob ever manages to squeeze out of the Mariana Trench, then he can effortlessly block out the stars. Or eat them, depending on his mood.

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  97. The latest comic is just depressing. Randall has lost his sense of wonder with the universe and has nothing else to live for. I can only imagine comic 975 is a desperate fleeting cry for help, for the one true friend that might take him away from his oblivion.

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  98. The latest fagcomic is just fagpressing. Fagdall has lost his fagsense of fagwonder with the faguniverse and has nothing else to faglive for. I can only fagmagine comic 975 is a fagsperate fleeting fagcry for faghelp, for the one true fagfriend that might take him away from his fagblivion.

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  99. He has a point...

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  100. Is 975 meant to have a joke? Because I can't find the joke. It's like... /maybe/ a set-up for an existentialism joke. But on it's own, it looks too much like "Okay, maybe this is funny? I'll upload it anyway and hope that some people can make a joke out of it".

    Also, while they're at it, can someone please explain what the hell is with the second panel? It makes no sense whatsoever.

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  101. Jon Levi! Do yo forum-watch thang and tell us if my deepest fears are correct and there are loads of people going "GOOMHR I think there are too many stars too!!!"

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  102. I don't go to the beach because there's too much sand. Also because of my illuminating pasty white skin.

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  103. Rob said...
    " You keep on saying that "Randy" uses straw man arguments, and yet you are the one who does that, against him, all the time."

    you say that like you think i am making arguments or something

    November 7, 2011 1:07 PM

    ...recently you were asked if you had arguments, and you said yes, now you say no... apparently you say whatever comes to your head to justify your continuous personal attacks against "Randy" (who is, as you picture it, an strawman himself, who is criticized for using strawmans and raping your daughter...)

    It is so retarded. But why do you bother trying to disguise it as something rational and logical?

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  104. In just one page of discussion so far, not many people are agreeing with the comic. I at least found one person disagreeing with it.

    A lot of people are making references to Doctor Who, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C Clarke (I think) and of course Firefly. This guy actually expected the alt text to be a reference to Asimoc's Krikket. Oh how tragic.

    There's also been a punny post on the word occult. And they've been discussing Dyson spheres with moderate enthusiasm.

    Seemingly in response to Ann Apolis, this asshole posted exactly what he said at the top of the second page.

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  105. Dicksmash McIroncockNovember 9, 2011 at 9:22 AM

    "who is, as you picture it, an strawman himself"

    You're an dumbfuck.

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  106. Why does everyone think that the attained level of mastery of the English language is the most accurate indication of someone's intelligence?

    On the Internet, making a grammatical error makes you some sort of retard, and everyone likes to go around correcting every mistake they see because they'll be seen as geniuses.

    Do you think people who use text speak on Facebook walls are idiots? If you actually had any non-idiot friends, then you'd know that a lot of intelligent, educated people use text speak.

    From my experience, those who type properly with caps and punctuation are mostly pseudo-intellectual drop-outs, artistic liberals, etc.

    On the other hand, being bad at math is totally cool: "I'm so terrible at math I can't even add lololol." Mathematical ability correlates directly with intelligence and skipping it serves no intelligible purpose.

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  107. That is, quite possibly, the worst meme this blog has ever churned out. And that includes the "suddenly became okay" one.

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  108. Dicksmash McIroncock, or Rob...

    Nice and smart way of discussing. Or, whatever. Do it better next time.

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  109. I'll post one of the other rants if you want guys, any takers?

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  110. @That's what she

    Where's your meme? If you don't come with your own meme, your argument is invalid.

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  111. That's cool for stealing my thing, Ruiqi Meow, but you forgot:

    "HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS"

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  112. Can my meme be stating that a given meme is the worst meme ever churned out by a given source?

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  113. "...recently you were asked if you had arguments, and you said yes, now you say no..."

    do i have them? yes. am i trying to make them? no.

    "raping your daughter...)"

    how is employing facts a strawman argument?

    "It is so retarded. But why do you bother trying to disguise it as something rational and logical?"

    i don't

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  114. Nationalism and racism are mutually exclusive. You can't believe in one and the other at the same time.

    Say your village or town is situated at a large distance from your national capital, near the border of another state. Say a war breaks out. Genetically, you're much more likely to be related to the people on the other side of the border; on the other hand, you share little culture with them and indeed the two nations hate each other.

    If you're a nationalist, you would support your nation and your culture against your nation's enemies, though they may be closer to you ethnically.

    But why, if you're a racist, would you fight against your blood brothers because some less-genetically-related-to-you bigwigs in the capital decreed it?

    As an example take a dark-haired, fat Bavarian, who considers himself and his nation German but is called to war by the Prussian nordics in Berlin against his brothers in Austria. Which side ought he take? a nationalist would advocate him fighting for Germany, while a racist would not.

    Similar was the Irish civil war of the 1920s, where brothers fought and killed brothers only over the issue of allegiance to unionism or republicanism. A racist could never sanction this intra-racial struggle, but a nationalist, seeing it as a war between two cultures, definitely would.

    Epitomized in this distinction, and led into by it, is the issue of intergration. Can a foreign immigrant abandon his blood and side with his new nation, eventually adopting its culture? A racist would say no, but even today I see no Nazis calling Lubeckers or Rostockers, or even Berliners, non-Germanic, though they are Germanized slavs! Apparently, racial distinctions are eliminated by time in racists' eyes. But then what problem is there in a Spaniard integrating into Germany? A Turk? A Nigerian?

    A true German nationalist would have no problem with a Nigerian coming to Germany, with his children and he adopting Deutschkultur (which they would, eventually - see the Irish and Italians of the 1920s, or the Czechs and Carinthians in medieval Austria). A nationalist would see the state as the cohesive block, not the people.

    A racist would see there being greater distinction between a Berliner and a Municher than between a Berliner and a Szczeczyn Polack, and would oppose integration. To a racist, the people are more important than the state, in all regards.

    This led to the fall of the theories of racial nationalism in vogue during the early 1900s. Then, people would argue the Irish to be negroid, or the French to be Trojans! Idiocy, of course, the lot of it.


    ---

    New rant I typed up, what do y'all think?

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  115. Rob why do you pretend to be anything other than a gaping, slobbering maw who consumes and consumes without every producing anything of value?

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  116. "Rob why do you pretend to be anything other than a gaping, slobbering maw who consumes and consumes without every producing anything of value? "

    i don't

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  117. Why so defensive Blob? Too fat? Figures. That's probably why you don't use punctuation, admit it, you ate the punctuation signs.

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  118. I like it, very informative.

    @IPA Guy

    I meant, why would you write English phonetically using English pronunciation? I know certain dictionaries do it, but your way is much less logical, and it's not even completely English, as for some reason you felt like throwing in random phonetical signs. If you're going to use different symbols to represent different phonemes, then at least make a proper phoneme inventory.

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  119. "Why so defensive Blob? Too fat? Figures. That's probably why you don't use punctuation, admit it, you ate the punctuation signs."

    i was hungry

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  120. What the hell do you mean with
    >why would you write English phonetically using English pronunciation

    Because it's easier for English speakers to understand? Because it's more wieldy to use less signs than more? Because there are letters that have different pronunciations in different anglophone regions and distinction would only cause problems?

    There are so many good reasons to not use IPA when making an actual phonetic (or more accurately phonemic) transcription of English, it boggles the mind to consider it. I'd see reason to use IPA for Ubygh's notorious 80 consonants, anything else might be unclear, though allophones exist; but English is not so unwieldy nor so tonic a tongue as to require this.

    In addition my hurried attempt was not so strict nor regular as I would attempt were I trying at an actual project, but I simply used a certain set of regular rules:

    'c' instead of 'k' for [k] - k looks bad and is really quite unecessary
    'š' for [ʃ[ since it's more common worldwide for that sound and shows its relation to 's'
    An 'i' assumes a sharp accent when not elided
    'î' is a pre-elided 'i', see, or you can use 'y'
    'e' stands for the whole set of [ʌ], [ə] since they are general allophones, as well as general [ɛ]
    'ð' as an article attaches to its modified noun - this is not necessary but useful
    'u' instead of 'w' word initially - matter of taste and preference, [w], [ɔ], and [u] (sometimes also [ʊ]) are allophones, I'd argue
    'ou' represents long [u] for simplicity

    And I came up with this in maybe five minutes. Do you see now? IPA isn't the be-all, end-all, but a system useful for standardizing sounds across languages. No linguist in his right mind would use it as a transcription.

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  121. He's already done at least one variation on this theme already

    (writing a script to move the mouse pointer to prevent the monitor from falling asleep...instead of.... you know, moving the mouse pointer)

    http://xkcd.com/196/

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  122. since when criticizing the suddenly became okay meme suddenly became okay?

    I don't think it's okay.

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  123. ITT: jesus christ i hate linguists

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  124. jesus linguist, i hate christs.

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  125. More proof that Rob is Randall: they both hate linguists.

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  126. Although I guess it's not so much that Randall hates linguists so much as he hates brown people and hates that linguists invalidate one aspect of his hate.

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  127. i also hate brown people, but i hate linguists for other reasons

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  128. I hate linguistics 101 intro fags or autist 'self-taught' wikipedia-fag linguists like Leahcim aka Michael

    I hate brown people for other reasons. Mixed solutions can never fully achieve all the superior properties of the stronger reactant.

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  129. Oh man, space is like sooo biiig duuuuuude. Woooow, thaaat shiiiiiit is deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

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  130. Rob is mad because I flooded the latest comments section with cool comments so he rage quit.

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  131. All your names are belong to me...SAMEFAG. OR SHOULD I SAY NAMEFAG.

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  132. mathematical ability correlates directly with intelligence

    piss off does it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyscalculia

    'dyscalculia can also be found in people with normal to superior intelligence.'

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