Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Comic 939: Randy Remembers The Old Times

[Hated hell bird "Ravenzomg" wrote this review. -Ed.]

Hai hai everyone, this is Ravenzomg of Ravenzomg fame to review XKCD #939 for you all! Or maybe I'm just some imposter, who even knows anymore.



Title: Arrow. Tooltip: 'The Return of the Boomerang' would make a great movie title.

So let's cut to the chase. This is just an awful brick joke. The joke is that there is a thing here from another xkcd comic why is that here that belongs in the other comic how can it be here oh my god oh my god so random wat.

Look guys at this other comic I did! And how awesome things used to be. Do you remember that???

So anyways, it's basically a non-sequitur that doesn't go anywhere interesting. "And suddenly boomerang!" for no reason at all.

This is my edit, which I think is more entertaining. TELL ME I'M WRONG AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT.


149 comments:

  1. Rob, your review is awful and so are you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not to push my blog again or anything, but...

    Mine's better. (And just a few minutes more timely.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh man it's totally like an east coast/midwest coast rivalry up in here

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  4. you mean entirely contrived and one-sided?

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  5. The side with Ravenzomg is the winner clearly.

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  6. Are you playing tennis, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SERVED.

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  7. No wait, that doesn't make any sense.

    Are you at a restaurant, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SERVED.

    There.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gamer_2k4 has the best one, sorry.

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  9. Are you a neckbearded transvestite dominatrix, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SERVED.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Are you a period of time which people spend incarcerated following conviction of a crime, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SERVED.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Are you ALTF's sugardaddy, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SERVED.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wait wait, I can still save the tennis one, thusly:

    Are you a tennis ball, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SERVED.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Are you being oppressed by the upper class/blog, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SERFED.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Are you Smurfette, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SMURFED.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Are you a gnarly curl, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SURFED.

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  16. Are you driving while picking Cheetos out of your neckbeard again, Gamer?

    Cos you just got SWERVED.

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  17. Are you an unbirthing fetishist, Gamer?

    Cos you just got CERVIX.

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  18. Do you have the best lips in the bordello, Gamer?

    Cos you just got RESERVED.

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  19. Is the tasty snack referred to by Anon 11:54 becoming an obsession, Gamer?

    Cos you just got CURVED.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Are your blubbery rolls bubbling in a sugary rolling boil, Gamer?

    Cos you just got PRESERVED.

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  21. Are you visiting Belgrade, Gamer?

    Cos you just get SERBED.

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  22. Noooo I should have proofread :(

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  23. Have you been photoshopping Ravenzomg's face on ALTF's body and posting the unholy result on 4chan, Gamer?

    Cos you just got OBSERVED.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Are you intending to grow a beard as long as Richard M. Stallman's, Gamer?

    Cos you just got HURD.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Are you ranking your site against xkcd and xkcdsucks, Gamer?

    Cos you just got THIRD.

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  26. Are you voicing your grievances to the authorities, Gamer?

    Cos you just got HEARD.

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  27. Are you that fucking machine that wakes me up every day at 0630 without fail, denying me an extra half hour's sleep and making me grumpy and take it out on my wife, my kids and my dog, who are so understanding but one day will get fed up and pack up and leave and then I'll just be another balding middle-age man with a go-nowhere middle-management job and that nagging voice from my dead mother telling me I should have studied harder and finished that degree and why can't I be like my older brother he's a doctor a bloody doctor he saves lives every day well fuck him he didn't have to cope with his partner killing himself when he was 15 because his parents wouldn't accept that he was gay and it's not as if my parents ever accepted me for that either all I ever wanted was approval, Gamer?

    Cos you just got WHIRRED.

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  28. No whey, Gamer?

    Cos you just got CURD.

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  29. Are you [template], Gamer?

    Cos you just got [WORD].

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  30. Are you gaming, Gamer?

    Cos you just got VERBED.

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  31. Are people reading things into what you're saying, Gamer?

    Cos you just got INFERRED.

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  32. oh god this is so great fuck fuck where the hell is my rhyming dictionary it's never around when I need it

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  33. Were you trying to spam your blog here, Gamer?

    Cos you just got DETERRED.

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  34. Is this giving you some kind of weird sexual thrill, Gamer?

    Cos you just got PERVED.

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  35. Turkey In The StrawAugust 17, 2011 at 12:52 AM

    Are you getting upset, Gamer?
    Cos you just got SHIT STIRRED.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Get out of my head, Randall!

    This totally happened to me last morning!

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  37. Get out of my head, Rob!!!

    I totally thought this comic was awful too!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. UndercoverCuddlefishAugust 17, 2011 at 3:45 AM

    are you all retarded

    there is no punchline here

    the joke is you

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  39. I vote the edit is funnier

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  40. UndercoverCuddlefishAugust 17, 2011 at 4:02 AM

    honestly what makes a brick joke entertaining is the sense of looking back and realizing that the comedian planned for the punchline well in advance

    there is a sort of enjoyable release associated with being outwitted by the comedian as the punchline to the brick joke arrives mere moments after you completely forget about the setup

    this shit is not even close to comparable

    it was slapped together in fifteen minutes after one of randalls lengthy tvtropes sessions inspired him to review his archives for something to use as a brick joke

    there is no feeling of awe at his foresight or any sense of being outwitted

    there is no shocking revelation or epiphany

    there is no slapping of the forehead or announcing to nobody in particular oh that magnificent bastard he had this planned all along

    i feel nothing but pity for the autistic manchild known as randall munroe

    i may never meet a level of success even as scant as that which randy enjoys as a result of his terrible webcomic but

    but i can take sweet solace in the fact that i will never be known for something so fucking stupid as xkcd

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  41. Anyone for a UK gov petition to reinstate and mandate the death sentence only for pompous blowhards like Randall Munroe? I hear if there are more than 100,000 signatures then it is made law.

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  42. This comic is a metaphor for cancer relapse.

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  43. This cancer is a metaphor for cancer relapse.

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  44. This cancer is a cancer for cancer relapse.

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  45. This cancer is a cancer for cancer cancer.

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  46. This cancer is cancer cancer for cancer cancer.

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  47. Cancer cancer is cancer cancer for cancer cancer.

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  48. Cancer cancer is cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.

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  49. Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.

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  50. Randall Patrick Munroe, MDAugust 17, 2011 at 4:30 AM

    *chemo*

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  51. God rolls a three.

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  52. This post is a metaphor for cancer relapse.

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  53. This cancer is a metaphor for cancer relapse.

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  54. Neoplasm sing-a-longAugust 17, 2011 at 4:37 AM

    This metastasis does not end
    Yes, it spreads on and on my friend
    Megan's hair started falling out and she did not know why
    Now Randall won't let go of it which makes poor Megan cry...

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  55. How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Randall after all he has been through!

    He has lost Megan, now he is going through this serious family illness. His fiancée has cancer.

    All you people care about is making lactation and Megan jokes.

    HE’S A HUMAN! What you don’t realize is that Randall is making you all these comics and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him.

    LEAVE HIM ALONE! You are lucky he even keeps om making XKCD BASTARDS!
    LEAVE RANDALL ALONE! Please!

    Carl talked about professionalism and said if Randall was a professional he would pull it off no matter what.

    Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to publicly bash someone who is going through a hard time.

    Leave Randall Alone Please!
    Leave Randall Munroe alone! right now! I mean it!

    Anyone that has a problem with him you deal with me, because he is not well right now.

    LEAVE HIM ALONE!

    ReplyDelete
  56. When first I saw that this already had 56 comments, I thought to myself "oh fantastic, ALTF has squirted her goo all over another post" and resigned myself to fate. Little did I realize I would soon be reading the greatest comment section of all time.

    also, @ cuddlefish 4:43 - welcome to the blog, Chris Crocker!

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  57. Do not jinx it, Ves...

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  58. oh well done Ves, I was confused, I was like

    "This guy is unintentionally mirroring what Chris Crocker said about Britney Spears! I wonder if he realises?"

    But thanks to you Ves I can rest easy knowing that it was intentionally done.

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  59. Holy balls fucker this comic is boring and terrible. Its so bad I haven't been able to drop my morning poop yet.

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  60. Are you an inoperable brain tumor?

    Because get out of my head, Gamer!!

    -> This cancer is a metaphor for comic relapse.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Also, the Fora is all like "OMG I LAFFED SO HARD AT THIS, SO MUCH MORE THAN I SHOULD HAVE LOLOLOLOL"

    Are they actually sitting at their computer desk braying like mule with flecks of Cheetos and milk splashing against the monitor?

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  62. Ian: Yes. Yes. They. Are. That is why this blog exists.

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  63. "Are they actually sitting at their computer desk braying like mule with flecks of Cheetos and milk splashing against the monitor?"

    That's not milk.

    Those aren't Cheetos, either.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Also this thread makes me love all of you without exception. Especially Ravenzomg. No, just Ravenzomg actually. Fuck all you miserable cretins.

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  65. Truth is, you do not even love yourself, Ravenzomg.

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  66. cptnoremac = Ravenzomg = samefag

    prove me wrong

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  67. I just love Jews. Their hooked, oily noses and sebaceous hooked fingers make them so lovable. Don't you agree?

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  68. Why would they have slaughtered millions of jews if it didn't have benefits?

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  69. @cptnoremac Actually, I think this blog exists because they're really not but want people to believe they are because they think it makes them part of some sort of elite group. Somebody needs to call bullshit on that.

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  70. @ cuddlefish 5:42 - that's what I'm here for, sweetie <3

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  71. Wha-? All I said was that's not milk.

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  72. I just love juice. The flavour, sweet smell, and flavourful smelling aroma just makes it so lovable. Don't you agree?

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  73. Juice IS the tits. Man, this thread is so productive--I'm glad we're getting these key points on the board.

    Anon717: Yeah, that's true =\

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  74. Are you a cuddlefish, Gamer?

    Cos you just got LURED.

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  75. Are you cancer, Gamer?

    Cos you just got CURED.

    ReplyDelete
  76. erebus why are you making fun of a man when his WIFE HAS CANCER

    also, memo to trolls: you'd be a lot more plausible if you stopped saying 'wife' and said 'fiancee' instead, since randy isn't married

    ReplyDelete
  77. I once heard that sometimes when a person says something that is silly, they actually expect the other people to detect the absurdity as intentional. I myself don't see where the humour is if people aren't supposed to be annoyed, but I guess there really are some Brady Bunch type fuckers left in the world.

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  78. Are you a game balance patch, Gamer?

    Cos you just got NERFED.

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  79. @12:59

    U mad, bro?

    Cos your vision just got BLURRED.

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  80. @12:59
    go away

    no one likes you

    sarcasm is cool

    ReplyDelete
  81. I just want to say how super cool it is that I'm the subject of half the comments in the thread.

    Although...all this attention...

    I think I just got UNNERVED.

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  82. Wow, way to ruin the best fucking joke in this entire thread, dipshit.

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  83. Nobody was really thinking about you, Gamer. We just took your name and ran with it.

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  84. I liked this comic for the 5 seconds it took to read. It's kind of funny in the "meta" sense: you go into the site thinking that everything will go wrong, that you cannot expect any shred of quality in the piece of crap he's laid out for this Wednesday.

    You look at the comic. You see a dude shooting an arrow. Where is it going? What is going to happen? ...OH SHI-

    It's that boomerang from comic 445! No, Randall, you couldn't have! A reused shitty joke! You couldn't have resorted to this!

    But then it strikes you...

    Contemplating the comic's terribleness, you realize that it went exactly as you expected. The comic is a metaphor. The guy with the bow experiences a confusing disappointment, just like you, every time you read XKCD. It all makes perfect sense now. You cannot help but silently move your lips to form the phrase "get out of my head, Randall!" while staring at the screen in awe. THIS is a webcomic. This is ART.

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  85. CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER

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  86. 3:34's comment would have made a good review for the comic.

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  87. @6:38

    Are you a retard, TWSS?

    Cos that's the dumbest fucking idea I've heard in this entire comment thread.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Ow, my ego.

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  89. 940: Randy has cancer-sex?

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  90. Get out of my head, Randall!!

    I totally like sex too!

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  91. WHAT THE GOD DAMN FUCK RANDALL SERIOUSLY

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  92. Sex, eh? What a novel activity. I wonder when Randall will progress beyond puberty.

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  93. Internet, eh? What a novel activity. I wonder when you guys will progress beyond xkcd.

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  94. Humor, eh? What a novel activity. I wonder when you guys will progress beyond quirkiness.

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  95. Recursion, eh? What a novel activity. I wonder when you guys will progress beyond recursion.

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  96. Megan's wig in 940 is hilarious.

    Also in the third panel Megan appears to be humping Randall's chest... UNLESS... they have swapped the wig and Randall is enjoying a cancerous titjob. /unsee

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  97. Oh for goodness' sake. When I went to bed it was Five-Minute Comics Pt. 4, why couldn't it have /stayed/ like that?

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  98. HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW I FREQUENTLY HAVE SEX WITH MY GIRLFRIEND (WHO HAS CANCER)

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  99. ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE SEX IN UNUSUAL PLACES

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  100. @Anon 2:34 No that looks right, Randy's penis is right below the vagina. Her knee is beside his chest if that's what you mean.

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  101. no cunnilingus? randy you have failed me

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  102. UndercoverCuddlefishAugust 19, 2011 at 8:14 AM

    @ian they are goddamned stick figures and their pelvises never even fucking touch

    nothing about this comic looks right you fucking assclown

    ReplyDelete
  103. Blargh. =[ I thought we all agreed his 5-minute comics #4 was a noted improvement from regular comics. And then this. wat. Randy. No no no no no, this is not how that works.

    At least now he has a "buffer" that is at least 1 comic long.

    Captcha: manclogi. >.<

    ReplyDelete
  104. Clearly Randall is hanging out on #xkcd-sucks, saw that the comic met with our 'approval', and thought "Shit take it down take it down"

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  105. could i have a link to it?

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  106. Apparently my cache doesn't hold images that long. So I'll give you the hard link so you can tell what you aren't seeing.

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  107. This was one of the worst reviews yet.

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  108. I no rite. The author of this should feel ashamed, and slightly aroused.

    Captcha: herside. That is where arousal comes from obviously.

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  109. Bingo is up at hyphen. This week it features a message written in blood, if that makes you interested.

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  110. WTF Randall??? I don't want to hear about your sex life, and I've never heard of Fitocracy. In fact, the only reason I became aware of the existence of fitness tracking websites is because of this:
    http://techcrunch.com/2011/07/03/sexual-activity-tracked-by-fitbit-shows-up-in-google-search-results/

    Maybe it's a good thing that Fitocracy won't let you enter sex as an aerobic activity.

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  111. And just what are they doing in that swing? Why is Megan's crotch on Randall's chest?

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  112. If you noobs don't know how to pleasure a woman using only your chest, then you've probably never had sex in your life.

    (and never will)

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  113. NUH-UH I HAVE HAD LOTS OF SEX
    LOTS OF SEX WITH LOTS OF GIRLS

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  114. So why haven't you written a comic about it, ROB?

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  115. SO wait, his girlfriend has cancer or whatever 2 comics ago, and now he's making jokes about having sex with said girlfriend who has cancer or something?

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  116. you can still have sex with girls who have cancer; it's not like cancer is an std or anything

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  117. 10:36 nuh-uh Randall caught it from his own cancerous comic and then touched Megan's hair.

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  118. 6:13, consider angle of penis, angle of thrust and head-groin:groin-knee:knee-foot ratio. There is no way vaginal sex is going on in panel 3.

    Anyway, the gender role swap theory is reinforced by panel 2 (and Randall's Google+ rant about public gender), where the one with the wig is bending over in a manner more consistent with anal. Megan is either wearing a strap-on or has an engorged clitoris as a side effect of the chemo.

    Panel 1, where the wigger is the one doing the pinning, seals the deal. I have at least enough evidence to publish my conclusion in a psychology journal.

    QEF.

    ReplyDelete
  119. http://crowd.blog.com/
    can some of u guys post nice things on this guys blog he is feeling a bit sad

    TYVM

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  120. JESUS CHRIST I'M GOING TO BE SICK

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  121. Fucking C&H is so horrible, they misspelled "any" today. And of course it isn't funny.

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  122. Though a few days shy and a lexeme or two short:


    Are you a radially symmetrical peristaltic cloacan contraction, Gamer?

    'cause you just got turd

    ReplyDelete
  123. No, that makes no sense. It should be "have you recently received a radially" etc.

    ReplyDelete
  124. It makes no sense to you.
    This, my friend, was by contemplation not happenstance-like serendipity.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Surprised no one has mentioned this:

    He shoots the arrow and gets a boomerang back. Look! He's three question marks worth of confused. That is SO confused!

    ReplyDelete
  126. i no, rite??

    captcha: shortho. That's how i like 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Dearest Anonymous @ 8:42 AM,

    You're surprised?
    There is a VERY good reason no one has mentioned it until now.

    ReplyDelete
  128. @ALTF: The anus is not peristaltic and the rectum is not cloacan. Review your first year anatomy books. Also be funnier.

    Sigh, this thread was actually good for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Most People Have Never Heard of CTRLF

    If only the same thing could be said of...

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  130. @9:19 Perfect execution.

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  131. The very fact that Anonymous @ 9:19 AM executed with perfection has intimidated all who might hazard to further comment here. It takes a very confident cunt to risk pixelating in the pale shadow of such coruscating invective.

    I am that cunt!

    ReplyDelete
  132. People stopped commenting because you showed up and killed the funny again.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Actually if only the same thing could be said of CTRLF. Because that person is baaad.

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  134. By the way, when I posted my xkcd does CADbortion strip on the fora, one person actually liked it. There were no other reactions.

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  135. Guess you didn't put enough emphasis on her being in hospital with CANCER.

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  136. it's cancer. i can tell.

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  137. Cancer? Fuck cancer. I called the doctor once, I said, "Doc, I've got cancer. What should I do?" You know what he said?

    "Fuck cancer," he said. "Put that on a shirt and call me in the morning.

    So that's what I did. I mean, fuck cancer.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Is it wrong that I think panel 2 of Friday's comic is more nauseating than even the infamous "nudity in TGI Friday's" installment?

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  139. Are you anonymous?

    Me too.

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  140. Bingo is getting a big improvement, soon. So stay tuned at hyphen for more box-ticking action.

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  141. Don't tell us until you've actually posted it, asshole.

    What is this, a serial drama - you can't use the phrase 'stay tuned' when it's a just freaking blog!

    ReplyDelete
  142. Anon 11:40 + Jon Levi = Samefag

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  143. Bill Watterson + Randall Munroe = Samefag

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