Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Comic 887: Here Is A List Of Non-Jokes

[Your favorite hideous city/woman hybrid "Ann Apolis" has sent me the following guest review for this worthless shit comic, which isn't so much a review as it is a link/image, but really, it doesn't deserve any more complex treatment. -Ed.]

review

49 comments:

  1. "but Ann Apolis you gorgeous fucker there is a punchline"

    no. there is a zero wing reference

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  2. If you're going to have a wall of text, it better be worth reading. Subnormality does this exquisitely, each and every time. XKCD. . . not so much at all.

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  3. The post criticizing the comic was itself a comic.

    If only someone had the guts to make a comment about the post about the comic that was also a comic...

    It would be awesome.

    A member of and a member of walk into a bar, and the barman says "fuck, not another meta joke!"

    It's been told in the previous thread, but i really like that joke.

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  4. subnormality's walls of text are damn near impossible to read and could usually be told in about 1/20th the number of words

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  5. If Ann Apolis is a doctor, I'm glad I don't live in the UK. If I asked for some cosmetic surgery Ann might decide that I can't be trusted with my own sense of aesthetics and cut me up "the right way" while I'm under.

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  6. You'd be lucky to leave without a sex change to be frank

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  7. I don't want to be Frank. Frank is an asshole.

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  8. HEY!

    No, wait, that's kinda true actually.

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  9. Subnormality pretends they can get away with it by trying to pass off their bad writing as ironic self-aware bad writing.

    It doesn't work.

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  10. Holy balls @ Subnormality. All that build up for a "I can change my hair in an instant" non-joke. I feel like I've just been xkcded.

    Oh, and the author doesn't like interviews and feels like all the jobs he's qualified for suck. Boo freaking hoo.

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  11. Prediction for the next comic:
    An encyclopedia of all possible 'jokes' randall can come up with, over 50 billion characters long. None of them are funny.

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  12. This was the awesomest post ever posted in the Rob Era of xkcdsucks. Maybe in the whole history if xkcd sucks at all.

    Which is the polar opposite of the relation between 887 and xkcd. It was really, really horrible.

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  13. ...And now I've been reading through the Subnormality archives (only made it through about five of them since my last post, ha ha), and it can be pretty interesting. As they say, it's not the destination that's important, but the journey. A punchline matters less when the comic itself is just interesting to read.

    More on this as it develops. =P

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  14. Hey, someone liked my joke. I'm so proud.

    Captcha: sogoss. Mm. The 1967 Chevy Sogo SS. Classic.

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  15. I got a tablet and so in lieu of text replies, and because Ann has made me self-conscious, all cued replies will be given in crude drawing form, making them 100% more awesome.

    K said: If you're going to have a wall of text, it better be worth reading. Subnormality does this exquisitely, each and every time

    To which I reply, because I am an attention whore.

    Captcha: Stabl. Not me. =\

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  16. Why does a rant about Dinosaur Comics feature as a post at XKCD Sucks?

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  17. @Anon909: Carl fancied himself a "well-rounded" individual before he started/abandoned his all-purpose site, and so reviewed webcomics/books on this site in order to be a "reviewer" and get free copies reserved for "reviewers".

    At least, that's how the story goes.

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  18. Ah, Ann Apolois is really Carl. I knew he couldn't keep away.

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  19. Alt Text: 'If you've never had sex, this is what it feels like...'

    Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the GOOMHR singularity.

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  20. Does that alt text strike anybody else as a "bags of sand" comment?

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  21. UndercoverCuddlefishApril 20, 2011 at 1:14 AM

    no i believe that randall has had very bad and unfulfilling sex

    with an underage girl

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  22. And his sexuality has been driven by pathology rather than desire ever since.

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  23. Check it out, some loser on the xkcd forum has done a re-hash of 882 with MEMES instead of jelly bean colors:

    http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=22741&start=6200#p2579003

    Seriously, all I can say is: why? And now he's done it with OPERATING SYSTEMS. Kill me now.

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  24. Best comment from the xkcd forum about 888:

    "Ummm... no, sorry. If sex is like tetris for you in any way, your life needs some work."

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  25. Prediction of #888 review:

    "Randall takes a break from milk fantasies and stalking Megan blah blah unless it's because he thinks she plays Tetris and desperately wants to get her attention."
    ...
    "Obviously Randall wants to pander to Tetris fans, but he's never even played the game himself, because otherwise he'd know pieces in that shape don't exist in the real game. Oh Randall, you clueless fuck."
    ...
    Etc. QEDBBQ. Your work here is done.

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  26. Ah, I feel so... relieved. No more Xkcd. This is my last one folks. I encourage you all to pick your own milestone comic and leave as fast as you can. #900 is coming up real soon, or #1000 for you sadists. All that's required to make this complete is the corresponding review.

    Thank you all so much for giving me the support to go on hating something loved by many. I couldn't have done it without you.

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  27. Not a problem, faceless anonymous poster. Happy to help.

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  28. the subnormality font is probably the worst he could have chosen. it's plain ugly and even worse in a wall of text. and the site design

    i'm pretty sure the author is trolling with his respone to criticism. basically if you don't like his mostly pointless and excessive use of words, you're either a baby or an illiterate who must also not like books.

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  29. Ann Apolis said: "You'd be lucky to leave without a sex change to be frank"

    X-cellent double-non-use of punctuation. How non-punctual of you.

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  30. Guys I'm playing Tetris right now and I've got a raging hard on - much more and I'm gonna blow.

    No more virginity for me!

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  31. Guys! I just thought of something!

    TETRIS. Its a game that we play and the shapes that drop are almost never the shapes I need.

    Buy my t-shirts pl0x. kthxbye.

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  32. goomh

    ian do you hate the zigzag blocks too?!

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  33. Subnormality does indeed have some truly staggeringly unfunny moments. Carl covered this at webcomics.me, stating that people like it because they agree with its sentiments, not because it's funny.

    To be honest, though? Forget the Zero Wing reference. I find the rest of this graph interesting.

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  34. Also: Subnormality is hand-lettered.

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  35. Samantha, are you available?

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  36. I thought it was interesting, but in a picto-blog sort of way. Definitely not comic material.

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  37. the joke is that randall had sex

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  38. @Eff Greg

    Your fling with Raven is over already?

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  39. "Also: Subnormality is hand-lettered."

    my bad

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  40. @Gamer

    Can't keep a playa down, brah. I see hotness, I move. It's science.

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  41. The only real difference between subnormality and xkcd is that randall munroe writes enormous walls of text full of nerd references so his fans will suck him off, and winston rowntree writes enormous walls of text full of pretentious declarations so he can suck himself off.

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  42. Latest alt-text:

    "Guiz, I totally never had sex, but that actually makes me AWESOME because sex is bad and totally not worth it. I know it because I never did it. If you never had sex you're cool too."

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  43. oh, and comic 888: Randall was flipping through his archives while masturbating (normal tuesday night, natch) and stumbled across the actually mildly amusing comic called "hell" where the tetris game bottom was curved so you couldn't stack anything. And he figured if that one fetched plenty of recognition chuckles, surely a complementary "heaven" one would as well!

    Hey, at least it ain't poster bait (which is what we usually get whenever he goes flipping through his archives for 'inspiration')

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  44. Hell was shit Ves, mainly due to the way it showed how badly Randall's in need of an editor. Way to reveal the punchline before the joke,Randall more like Retard)

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  45. That's what I love about 888. He fucked up the punchline delivery IN THE SAME EXACT WAY.

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  46. xkcd forumites consider 724 'hell' to be a 'classic' that 'brings back memories' , kill me, kill me now
    also:
    'Part of me wants to believe that Randall came up with this and the Hell comic at the same time, but held off on the Heaven comic until comic #888 due to the 'lucky' properties of the number 8 in Chinese culture...'(
    sure thing brah

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  47. Ah, memories. Back in my youth when the most recent xkcd comic was "Hell." Those were the days.

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