Tuesday, October 12, 2010

804: Blergerghergergh ALCOHOL



DRUNKLORIA HERE posting about comic 804 because I promised Rob even though it is TOTALLY CUTTING INTO MY DRINKING TIME.

So here we have the recurring characters of this comic doing EXACTLY THE KIND OF SHIT YOU'D EXPECT THEM TO. Beret guy acted all quirky, black hat guy acted mischievous-on-the-verge-of-homidical, archetypcal xkcd girl acted all introspective and emo, and generic xkcd guy made some reference to a semi-obscure (in that you don't pick it up in generic high school/college courses) theorem. Randall thinks that you will find this hilarious. It is not.

Do you guys remember the show Family Matters? If you do, you're likely familiar with a character named Urkel. Poor Urkel started out as a supporting character and then became more and more the focus of the show as producers realized audiences loved his helpless dweebiness and slapstick ways. The problem, though, is that his character never developed beyond a one-note gimmick so that by the ninth season, most people wanted to FUCKING KILL THAT BASTARD URKEL. SAY "DID I DO THAT" ONE MORE TIME MOTHERFUCKER, I. DARE. YOU!

*hic*

That is the problem with this comic. It is basically the token characters doing exactly what they always do; nothing more. There's nothing clever or amusing in that. It's not even worth writing more than "this is completely fucking boring and I hate it." But I did anyway, because I am a talkative drunk.

ETA: Whoops, I linked to the wrong thing. This is because when I drink, I like to open multiple Wikipedia math articles and bask in how cool I am.

62 comments:

  1. Remember when Black Hat Guy was actually nefarious instead of predictably wacky?

    I do. Those were good times.

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  2. Ok sure, this comic didn't have any character development... and maybe the first 3 panels were useless... but the last panel is pretty funny.

    And hey, at least he's no longer using high school math.

    Quite honestly, I don't know what you guys want out of the math bit of this... its a semi-obscure theorem which is pretty perfect for his (original) target audience.

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  3. Aloria was never funny.

    Holds true now.

    Damn Carl, leaving.

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  4. I think this was probably a reference to the Banach-Tarski paradox (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banach-Tarski_paradox), which isn't that obscure.

    I don't know whether that's equivalent to the Uniform Boundedness thing or not, but I do know that it follows from the axiom of choice.

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  5. Anon: 7:34: I don't have a beef with the math reference in general, nore am I expecting loads of character development. I'd just like Randall to not use his recurring characters in practically the exact same way he always does. It's like If you watched Happy Days and Fonzie never did anything more but walk onto screen, say "Eyyyyyyyy," hit the jukebox, and walk off.

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  6. Good job linking to the completely wrong theorem, Rob.

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  7. I mean Aloria. But, Rob, you are stupid also.

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  8. You should already know what to expect when the blog post is by Aloria and the title is "Blergerghergergh ALCOHOL".

    Having had this in mind when I started reading, I have no complaints.

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  9. Holy shit 805 is so bad.

    I mean not that it's surprising but I was caught off-guard by how fucking bad it is.

    How the fuck do the people on the forums like this one? GOOMHR I LIKE GUNS N' ROSES TOO.

    Oh well I guess it has the word "Orwellian" in it so they're probably jizzing their pants at that and the fact that it's a familiar song.

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  10. Me and you and you and me no matter how they tossed the dice it had to be the only one for me is you and you for me so happy together.

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  11. "Jizz in my Pants" is a familiar song! Nate, you have just struck KOMEDY GOLD! GOOMHN!

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  12. @805: Crap. It's like the lame "Reno" comic (206), only with slightly better art that's not worth 599 pages, five hundred and fucking ninety-nine pages to improve.

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  13. 805 is quite possibly the shittiest shit in the history of shit.

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  14. @Timofei

    I shittilly agree. I am so shitting pissed that I shit a shit.

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  15. where the grass is poorly rendered and the girls are megan

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  16. oh won't you please let me go down on you, meeeegaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

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  17. I actually feel like comparing xkcd to Family Matters is an insult to Family Matters. I'm sorry but I...I LIKE Family Matters. And I don't even like sitcoms. Seriously, there are like 3 sitcoms in the entire history of television that I actually like, and Family Matters is one of them. Over on xkcdsucksredux, this comic was compared to Friends...which is ANOTHER of the 3 sitcoms in the history of TV that I actually like. (The third is Roseanne.) Possible conclusion: My taste in sitcoms sucks? Fortunately, making this comment is not cutting into my drinking time; I am drunk right now.

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  18. I can maybe understand Family Matters, and Friends is a stretch... but liking Roseanne? That's unforgivable.

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  19. UndercoverCuddlefishOctober 13, 2010 at 1:21 AM

    chaos your taste in television shows would literally be the worst thing i have borne witness to all night except i have already seen 805 and it is terrible

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  20. 1- It's a refernece to the Banach-Tarski paradox, not uniform boundedness

    @/b/ -rules 1 and 2 mofo

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  21. I admit the strip wasn't really hilarious, but it was somewhat interesting. Analyzing the comic doesn't make it bad. And what exactly is so problematic in putting the token characters in a topical situation? I don't know if I'm just arguing for the sake of argument. I just feel like doing it if the comic isn't downright bad, possibly just boring.

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  22. The first panel, by itself, wouldn't be a bad comic.

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  23. @ Gone Fishing

    Nah, it wasn't terrible, really (unless panel three REALLY bothers you). Boring at worst, and even then you could very well find something there amusing.

    Token characters in a topical situation falls flat for character development, but that doesn't mean they can't make a joke. Whether you find it funny depends, but I certainly got a chuckle out of panels one and four.

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  24. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/4/1/2/33412.jpg?v=1

    http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_143_if-every-website-got-dramatic-movie-adaptation/

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  25. I was going to write an angry review of 805 and send it to Rob "rotund" Mason and therefore earn everlasting fame and glory but fuck all there is to say about it is that it's shitty in exactly the same way that 206 was and I don't want to waste my succulent rage-juices on a rant so short.

    Maybe I need to get as drunk as aloria to get it done but as I also have to write a paper before class today drinking would be highly discouraged

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  26. Aloria, I know you're the coolest writer of this blog, but, seriously? Alcohol and blog posts don't mix. THEY JUST DON'T!

    So, this comic. Well, the xkcdsucksredux take was quite better(and on time! ;D ), but whatevers. I like the first panel. In fact, this comic is eerily arranged in descendant order of how much I liked each panel. If Beret Man wasn't a construct of random character traits, I guess he could be a nice source of humor more frequently. But yeah.

    I'll give you the credit for addressing the issue of Randall and (non-existent) character development. I really wish he developed his characters more, but I guess it'd take EFFORT, and we all know Randall Munroe is effortophobic.

    And I so damn hope this comment box doesn't eat my comment again!

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  27. Oh wow, a hole blog devoted to hating a comic. Did you ever try, oh, I don't know, NOT READING IT?

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  28. Comparing aloria's post to redux is like comparing the Bernstein Bears to Slaughter House Five. I'm not saying redux is as good and complex as Slaughter House Five, I'm just saying this post is much worse and much simpler than the Bernstein Bears. So much so, that the gaps between them are quite comparable.

    @Anon 5:51
    needs moar cunnilingus

    @Ves
    Thanks for that. That's what I liked about Carl, he always had links like that to supplement and support his rage.

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  29. What the hell THE BERNSTEIN BEARS were the COOLEST.

    Actually, when I read the book about nail biting it made me want to try biting my nails. And now I still bite my nails. Damn you, Stan and Jan Berenstain! Damn you to hell.

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  30. Looks like randy is pimping poster sales on every page now not just 802. Must be running low on cash

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  31. "Oh wow, a hole blog devoted to hating a comic."

    Yeah, but it's OUR HOLE. So get out of it now!! Go dig your own hole blog.

    As for the new comic, it's oh, SO Orwellian.

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  32. Capn, you're such redux fanboy, you're almost as bad as xkcd fanboys.

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  33. Well your webcomic review is almost as terrible as aloria's drunken ramblings, Timofei. So what's your point?

    I'm a fanboy of good writing.

    Rob's posts are usually witty and insightful.
    Carl's are insightful and well researched.
    And redux is on time and has a lot to say before anyone else has said anything.

    Timofei is a pretty cool guy. eh posts stuff and doesn't afraid of anything. But you, Aloria, and probably a good 80% of the guest posters here are none of these, you're mostly boring and not funny when you post, and you really should stick to just commenting.

    There were some stellar guest posts in the past though, I just can't name them off the top of my head.

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  34. anything by Ann Apolis, M.D. for starters

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  35. I don't mind that Capn doesn't enjoy my posts; his cereal cuts up the roof of my mouth.

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  36. Some of y'all complain too much.

    If Randall makes his characters behave in a way that's unexpected (e.g. when hat guy suffers existential angst over the pointlessness of his brilliant pranks) then you complain that they're acting out of character.

    If Randall makes his characters behave in a way that's perfectly in-character, you complain that they're just doing the same thing they're always doing. No, it's not like Fonzie just saying "ehhhh" all the time, because they're acting in-character in novel ways and making novel jokes. You can complain about the jokes if you like, but don't complain that the whole joke is just character-being-like-character, because that's what 90% of comic strip humour is about.

    Oh, and after so much complaining that Randall had degenerated into high-school mathematics, doesn't he get some credit for freaking Banach-Tarski Theorem joke?

    As for 805... actually I thought it was pretty funny. I can't analyze why.

    Randall has come out with some crappy comics over the past few months, but the last two were actually pretty good.

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  37. "Timofei is a pretty cool guy. eh posts stuff and doesn't afraid of anything."

    FUCK. OFF.

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  38. Hey, this must be how Randy makes his comics; he just gets really fucking drunk.

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  39. Anon 12:06PM: This comic by Ann Apolis insinuates that xkcd is the result of my binge drinking:

    http://jukt-micronics.com/2009/10/29/a-comic-about-me/

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  40. haha spot how i just drew that on the back of the Carl comic

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  41. @R.

    ;)

    "As for 805... actually I thought it was pretty funny. I can't analyze why."

    Now I remember why I keep coming here.

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  42. I don't think I get it? Is there some new internet meme revolving around Paradise City or something? No? So there's really nothing to else to get? Good lord, 805 is terrible.

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  43. So am I the only one that noticed that Randall was too lazy to draw music notes in all four panels so he just flipped some of them around? And that that this looks really fucking weird?

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  44. Posters rise and fall, but cuddlefish are eternal.

    Anon 7:20- hang on, how is he selling posters of 805? how the fuck would that work as a poster? I refuse to visit that site more than once (and less whenever possible) per comic so as to deny randy the traffic.

    here's to hoping friday's comic makes me good and mad enough to write a guest post that all you fuckers will be forced to read!

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  45. @1:56

    Holy crap I didn't notice the awful notation the first time around because I just wanted to plough through all that text but... oh GOD. For someone who loves a nitpick he really did fuck up those notes.

    For the unaware:
    All single quavers in every panel have the tail 'flicking' the wrong way, the end to the tail should point toward the head of the note. A lot of people do this though, even in it's wrongness it's a lot easier to notate that way so even professionals tend to do it. Not a biggy, but still lame coming from such as 'perfectionist'

    4th panel 3rd note single quaver: What the fuck. Tails always go to the right, it's not that fucking hard. Jesus fucking christ randy arrrgghhhhhhh

    5th panel 3rd note single quaver: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU stem and tail on the wrong side even someone who's never played an instrument can see this looks fucking retarded oh god

    Also every panel features a minim in spite of the fact that in all the lyrics presented only the word 'home' could possibly be that long, and even then it has a shift in pitch so there would be no minims in that whole passage.

    In sum: Fuck you Ransdlifnsdlklylll

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  46. Re poster pimping:

    XKCD updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
    There's a poster of the updated communities map for preorder in the store!

    is now on every page. I think it just the normal message until a few days ago.

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  47. aloria's posts are the best posts :3

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  48. My god the xkcd forum is intolerable for 805. Comments like "I LOLed several times even though I probably missed the main joke" quickly give way to ::terrible:: mimicry.

    UGH.

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  49. Cam is the smartest commenter on this blog.

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  50. Aloria I have to say that is a very flattering picture of you in your profile picture.

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  51. wait hold on anon 11:47 thinks white hat guy has 'existential angst'?

    What a shitty troll

    This isn't even as good as my previous comment about rob's fat face needing liposuction so the rolls of fat didn't fall over his eyes and stop him from seeing the keyboard resulting in a shapley provile picture. Which got eaten

    and that was a pretty shitty comment too

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  52. Cum Bucket are you even slightly able to read?
    Or to speak?

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  53. @aloria: You must have went to some pretty shitty college.

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  54. ‮Istanbul Was Constantinople

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