Thursday, October 24, 2013

Comics 1272-1281: Over Nine Thousand Reviews

1272. This might be funny if there were more than two facts about shadows. F
1273. It's funny because Randy's job is basically producing shitty infographics. F
1274. One of the things I've always thought was absurd about conspiracy theories is they are usually espoused primarily by morons, and if there really is such a huge conspiracy going on, the morons probably wouldn't know about it. (Also, if there were huge conspiracies running the world, the world wouldn't be so terrible.) B-
1275. LOLRANDUMB F
1276. Noted webcartoonist Randall Munroe once wrote a comic about how shitty infographics are terrible. I concur wholeheartedly. F
1277. The joke here is literally that Ayn Rand's last name is also the first syllable of the word "random." F
1278. Here is a comprehensive list of fucks that I give: (intentionally blank) F
1279. Randall Munroe, observational wizard! F
1280. See also the review for comic 1278. F
1281. Yes, and? F

80 comments:

  1. https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83597362/robisfat.png

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, robisrandal.png

      Delete
    2. So everyone weighs 1 kg huh.

      You FOOL. You UTTER FOOL.

      Delete
    3. Wrong, wrong! You're obviously using the international kilogram in your assessment. Did you not think that Ann was in fact using the Queen's kilogram, as per British tradition? It is a much more elegant unit of measure, equivalent to 62.17 of your international or 'SI' type kilograms. We've been using the Queen's kilogram for hundreds of years, thank you very much. And we'll never change. Fuck the EU!

      Delete
    4. And don't even get me started on gigabytes in powers of two, or whatever stupid system they're using now. When I was growing up, a gigabyte was not 1024 megabytes. It was 240 furlongs, and to me it will always be that way.

      Delete
    5. 62.17?
      Curious conversion factor.
      Besides, I thought you Brit-fucks used 'onces', 'cloves', 'stones', 'tods' and 'sacks'?

      And it's "The Queen's Kilogramme" you ignorant Brit-fuck wannabe!
      Britannia has certainly gone to Hades of late. I've just received a letter - in the Post - from The Home Office and the fucker is rife with American spellings!
      God help you!

      Delete
    6. American spelling is best because it frequently saves U.

      Delete
  2. I'm just going to leave this here:
    http://i.imgur.com/qXGrIWa.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh man i forgot i got that email

      Delete
    2. Some plagiarist must have stolen my work and sent it, I'm sure.

      Delete
  3. Rob, I have heard that Jon Levi laughed aloud at 1277. I am so ashamed. I will never suckle from anybody else's teat again. I promise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He didn't really laught out loud. He was possessed by Jimmy Carr - the jewish equivalent of Satan

      Delete
    2. So Satan expects people to laugh when he delivers lines simply because they are inappropriate, rather than because they had been arranged into something that can be appreciated as a joke? Makes sense, actually.

      Delete
  4. "......One of the things I've always thought was absurd about conspiracy theories is they are usually espoused primarily by morons, and if there really is such a huge conspiracy going on, the morons probably wouldn't know about it. (Also, if there were huge conspiracies running the world, the world wouldn't be so terrible.)......"

    We in the 1% ensure that the 'unfortunate truth', when we can no longer 'contain' it, is ALWAYS disseminated through the lunatic-fringe media. That way only morons will believe it.

    Rule 1:
    How fortunate it is for governments that the people do not think.

    Rule 2:
    If you can get the people asking all the wrong questions, you do not have to provide answers to the correct ones.

    Rule 3:
    The people are deeply, deeply stupid.

    And the world is not at all terrible. Perhaps you are externalising and then transferring your own teenage angst upon the entire world? Go back to staring out your window for hours on rainy days while reciting Sylvia Plath poetry. And what is it that makes you think a 'conspiracy' controlled world would be better?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The zio control north american and european governments and it ain't even secret.

      Delete
    2. "zio"?

      Zio, Togo, a prefecture in southern Togo?
      Zio, the Italian word for uncle, or slang for friend ("bro")?
      Zio a major antagonist from the video game Phantasy Star IV?
      the Zonal Informatics Olympiad of the Indian Computing Olympiad?
      Franck Zio, a Burkinabé long jumper?
      Toyota Mark X ZiO, a crossover vehicle sold in Japan?

      If it has anything to do with Zion, I am not interested.
      Besides, it's the fucking Micks who control the world - one haemorrhaging Altar Boy anus at a time.

      Delete
    3. sylvia plath? please. edith piaf or bust.

      Delete
    4. I don't trust those conspiracy theories. There must be something behind them.

      Delete
    5. ".....sylvia plath? please. edith piaf or bust......"

      You made me laugh. You scoundrel!

      "La Vie en cunt"
      That song is going to be in my wedding if'n I ever gets me a man!

      Delete
    6. I guess I better Trade Mark and Copyright "La Vie en cunt" before that Lord Kitten fucker steals it like he did my "À la recherche du cunts perdu". The filthy tosser.

      And to make matters worse, I can't get that fucking song out of my head!

      Quand il me prend dans ses bras
      Il me parle tout bas
      Je vois la vie en cun-tuh

      Delete
    7. http://alarechercheducuntsperdu.blogspot.ca/

      Delete
  5. I love you rob
    *brofisinting*

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Over ninethousand reviews..."
    LE EPIN MAYMAY XDXD ROB YOU LE GOOD XDXD

    ReplyDelete
  7. Do you people realise there hasn't been a good goatkcd since 1269? I bet Randall planned this. Given that 69 is a very naughty number he wants to help the posterior for 1269 go down in posterity.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Xkcd is kinda like getting a blowjob from Rob.

    ReplyDelete
  9. And what costume shall the poor girl wear
    To all tomorrow's parties
    A hand-me-down dress from who knows where
    To all tomorrow's parties

    And where will she go and what shall she do
    When midnight comes around
    She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown
    And cry behind the door.


    I miss him already!

    ReplyDelete
  10. the one about gmail addresses was like total goomh for me cos i have a really common name & 75% of email i get is for other people. and it was STILL REALLY SHIT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't know weaselsoup was such a common name.

      Delete
    2. even more so than 'anonymous' yes

      Delete
  11. >be rob
    >be sad
    >reading through xkcd comics
    >think they are all shit
    >get on omegle to cheer up by calling people niggerfaggots
    >gets connected to an unexpected person
    randall
    >call him niggerfaggot
    >after calling randall a niggerfaggot for an 1 hour, wonder why he has not disconnected
    >realize that he somehow connected with himself
    I AM THE RANDALL
    >commit sudoku

    inb4 4chan gtfo nigger

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you just concieved the next Summer blockbuster.

      Delete
    2. And with a name like that, she's headed for only one industry.

      Delete
    3. is it the soup industry

      Delete
  12. 1000000000000066600000000000001
    That is Belphegor's Prime.
    It also happens to be the sum of the following numbers:

    Rob's Wells Fargo Bank Account number.
    Rob's European shoe size.
    Rob's normal blood-alcohol level. Yeah, I know, right? It's a whole number! Can you believe it?
    Rob's IQ
    Rob's..........

    Sorry, that's all I got.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holy shit Rob has massive feet

      Delete
  13. I'm playing Panzer Dragoon Saga. Discuss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm masturbating as I type this, whirling the glans around at I tug the shaft back and forth. I'm going to hit "Publish" at the moment of Spritzung. Discus.

      Delete
    2. I normally dislike RPGs because the fights boil down to trading blows until one of you dies, but this one keeps it interesting with an innovation in the combat. Legend of Legaia is another really good one.

      Delete
    3. That reminds me of the dragon that shat on my bed and then smeared it around with its ass.

      Delete
  14. 1283 actually entertained me. Am I going to die?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You already have. Your "entertainment" is merely the death throes of your mind.

      Delete
  15. Why does Jon Rosenberg have such a big stick up his arse about the Ender's Game movie?

    Also I can't be the only one who thinks his comics as of late have been anything other than thinly veiled angry-old-jew rants with aliens and passable artwork.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That reminds me of the dragon that shat on my bed and then smeared it around with its ass.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, sorry about that. I was having a bad day.

      Delete
  16. Lucky dip! One of these links will take you to an amazing argument I had with Jon Rosenberg on Twitter. The other will take you to my latest xkcd review.

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Banal shit boring argument, boring banal shit reviews. Hang your neck in shame.

      Delete
    2. how do you hang your neck

      Delete
    3. Or hang your neck with pride. Either way die.

      Delete
    4. No! I need him alive.

      Delete
  17. lol rob you are complete moron (obviously). There could be "background" organizations that make the world terrible at purpose to benefit themselves. Do you really think those organizations that have all the power care about the rest?
    Putting a B- on one comic does not hide your randallness. You know you like all your comics

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol Anonymous you are complete moron (obviously). There could be "background" posters that make the blog terrible at purpose to benefit themselves. Do you really think those posters that have all that power care about the rest?
      Putting a F- on one post does not hide your cuddlefishness. You know you like all Rob's posts

      Delete
  18. Wouldn't it be fun if Randall knew enough about chess (or enough about art) to draw a board that didn't feature too many pieces and three bishops for white?

    I guess we'll never know because he is a lazy fuckwit.

    Oh. Well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wouldn't it be fun if Sleeper knew how to count?

      Delete
    2. He's gone and changed it. Erased his mistakes and pushed them under the bed.

      I wish I had evidence supporting this. Except his entire comic is evidence of this exact thing.

      Delete
    3. That doesn't surprise me actually.

      Delete
    4. Now this is just plain outright slander. NO DO OVERS. It is his policy, and he would not deceive his fans. He has more integrity than you jealous worms could ever aspire to.

      Delete
  19. I found 1287 funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1287 was one of the most singularly unfunny things I've seen with my eyes in a long time. What's the joke? That 'white' is fucking tripping balls, since they're trying to play chess on a completely white board against an opponent who's using different pieces? Hurr hurr, wouldn't it be funny if the WORLDS OF DIFFERENT BOARD GAMES COLLIDED!? What a wacky thought! We've never seen that *cough*839*cough* before!

      Delete
    2. But 1288 makes 1287 look good. Jesus.

      Delete
    3. It's keyboard/leopard 2.0! This time, Randy has upped his game and suggested MULTIPLE wacky substitutions! Oh, the hilarity that will ensue when I download the inevitable fan-created browser extension to perform said substitutions! Oh, wait. That's stupid and I don't care, and this isn't a comic. If Randy has actually programmed a browser extension and provided it for people to download, he would at least have contributed something to the Internet, albeit something inane that would be good for about 5 minutes of entertainment before becoming stale and irritating. Instead, he's basically creating work for his fans.

      Oh, and also, this is a thing:

      http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/134852/did-pokedex-recently-become-a-slang-term-for-iphone

      Delete
  20. wow rob how can you hate such works of art? i am 13 and i understand more of the comics than you do. he is the best he is in reddit all the time unlike you, who spends all his time on /b/. me and my girlfriend will hold hand passionately laughing at your pitiful mean comics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Protip, junior: don't refer to your hand as your girlfriend. It doesn't help your chances of scoring a real one.

      Delete
    2. LOLOLOL And stop seeing your mother on the side, your hand won't turn a blind eye forever ;)

      Delete
    3. I'm going to k-k-k-ill you all
      To k-k-k-ill you
      To k-k-k-ill you with my hat on
      With my hat on
      I will k-k-k-ill you

      I'm an ass-ass-ass-in
      I'm going to k-k-k-ill you
      With my hat on

      In the morning time
      Early in the morning time
      I'm going to k-k-k-ill you all
      With my hat on

      Before you're out of bed
      Before you're even out of bed
      I'm an ass-ass-ass-in
      With my hat on

      Delete
  21. Any of you want to have sex? So sick of being a virgin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. weaselsoup is the only one here with a functioning vagina, and it'll take a while to find it.

      Delete
    2. That's ok. And if any of you without vaginas are willing, that's ok too. I'm sure you have other orifices.

      Delete
    3. I just noticed that was the 69th comment on this thread.

      Delete
  22. LOL acan reconize those werds and replacing for fun make of jokes is JOKES. CAN YOU being to see what is this is? 1288 not more that 15 mibutes effort you lazy cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Guys, I can't comment on YouTube anymore because they want me to join the ranks of fuckholes that have Google+ accounts. Will be commenting here more frequently from now on, you lucky things.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Replies
    1. dont be so homophobic dude :))

      Delete
    2. Speaking as a gay man, I wish faggots such as Randall Munroe@8:08 would stop patronising homosexuals like we're a bunch of limp-wristed faggots.

      Delete