Monday, May 7, 2012

Comics 1050-1052: Every XKCD Is Terrible

1050. I'm not sure where Randy is getting his data here, but: most of the people I know who have learned to play music still play music with some regularity; learning to cook is actually a valuable life skill; foreign languages also have actual utility for many people. I don't speak German at all anymore, but I still find myself occasionally using German words, and I occasionally find myself reading books that have German phrases I can piece together.

And people aren't "proud" of not learning math. They resent having to learn it and they feel justified when it turns out that much of it does not have any immediate applications to their real life (and everyone loves being right). And, as it turns out, knowing math isn't particularly useful to your garden variety human.

1051.  In case you forgot, Randy is quirky and goes to weird Wikipedia articles pretty frequently!

1052. When I first loaded this, it was a comic where he declared that ten thousand people learned something that "everyone knows" every day. Or something. Then a few minutes later it was this 'Every Major's Terrible' thing, which is all right, I guess. I can't tell if the bits where the rhythm falters are his fault or mine, but I'm going to assume it's his fault, because that's what I'm here for.

Did anyone else get this "the 10,000" comic or whatever? This comic switch is way more interesting to me than the actual comics. Is there a scandal? Were his maths so wrong he just pulled an entire comic? WHAT HAPPEN


SPECIAL BONUS UPDATE!
Noted city-woman hybrid "Ann Apolis, MD" sent me these images:



and

202 comments:

  1. second

    That aside, really? Does anyone have the comic?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. do do do doo

      i mean whenever i make fun of someone for not knowing something, part of that is me explaining what they don't know to them so i can better mock them

      randall clearly does not know how to make fun of people :(

      Delete
  2. Math is hard for some people.

    Here is a ball. Perhaps you would like to bounce it.

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  3. In the latest comic, Randall is frustrated by his own failure and makes himself feel better by arguing that everyone else is a failure as well.

    Also, to compare choice of major with Sophie's Choice (penultimate panel) - which of your children you choose to die in Auschwitz - is out of character even for Randall.

    I assume he's not an "agorophobiac" and had outside help on this one.

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    1. In honour of Randall's conception of scanceptionMay 7, 2012 at 6:58 AM

      Randall Munroe's the model of an Internet sophisticate
      His Wiki page shows rubber ducks stacked earnestly quadruplicate;

      He graduated with a Bachelor in Science certificate
      From Christopher Newport, a lib'rul arts college remediate.

      His last real job was as a NASA Langley rocket lubricate
      "Waste anything but time!" was written on his pink slip rubricate -

      He'd always been a math, romance, language, and Hobbes & Calvin fan
      So he took out his pen and started doodling a stick figure man.

      (um-diddle-diddle-um-diddle-eye)
      (um-diddle-diddle-um-diddle-eye)

      Delete
  4. I also got the 10,000 people comic. When I loaded it to this new comic, I thought my cache must have had the previous comic in it, so I pressed back... and it wasn't the 10,000 people comic. What is going on here?

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  5. the ten thousand one (am I the only person here old enough to remember Natalie Merchant? i bet I am) seems to be based on assuming that 10,000 infants learn science trivia at one day old, another 10,000 at two days old, etc. maybe. i dunno, i don't understand maths.

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    1. "(am I the only person here old enough to remember Natalie Merchant? i bet I am)"

      Um, no? I'm pretty sure most people in their 20s or older have heard of Natalie Merchant or at least 10000 Maniacs. Hell, *I* know about her, and I'm one of the least music-savvy people I know.

      Delete
    2. Have I been wrong? Have I been wise to shut my eyes and play along?

      Delete
  6. Maybe he finished the every major's terrible thing too late and a site script posted one from his rainy day queue before he went in and replaced it. Or something like that. Perhaps we'll be seeing the 10,000 people comic again sometime.

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  7. Here is the original, courtesy of reddit's /r/comics:
    http://i.imgur.com/Jk1Y9.png
    Alt-text: http://i.imgur.com/H6w19.png

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  8. I think you may be entirely missing the point on 1050... it's not all that deep... the point is that if you never learned or learned and then promptly forgot a skill then of course you will never use that skill. But maybe I'm just trying to hard to fine some value in an obviously terrible comic...

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  9. Looks like the forumites have managed to recover the original comic dubbed http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=84021

    in case you wanted to add it to your review:

    XKCD ####: "Ten Thousand"
    http://i.imgur.com/Jk1Y9.png
    hover-text: Saying 'what kind of an idiot doesn't know about the Yellowstone supervolacon?' is so much more boring than telling someone about the Yellowstone supervolcano for the first time.

    Someone in the thread implies that he meant to do this so that a few XKCD fans will know about the "Ten Thousand" comic and over time more and more people know about it until finally "everyone knows about it" as described in the comic... I'm going with "update script error".

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  10. I have met people who expressed pride that they were bad at math. As someone who is bad at math, it confused me.

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    1. I have met people who expressed pride that they were bad at math(S). As someone who has a degree in the subject, it pissed me off. Incompetence is fine. Wilful stupidity is not. And anybody who is proud of their non-achievements is wilfully stupid.

      Delete
    2. As someone with a 1st class undergrad mathematics degree and postgrad mathematics degree "with distinction", I take pride in being bad at maths (but rather good at taking exams and sounding like I know what I'm talking about).

      So stick that in your Klein bottle and smoke it.

      Delete
    3. I'm proud of my non-achievement of genocide. Does that count?

      Delete
    4. But actually you're just hoping for attention and acknowledgement of your non-achievement, arentcha.

      Delete
    5. here's the secret, 2:47:

      if you sound like you know what you're talking about, and what you're talking about is math, and the people you are talking to are mathematicians, you know math.

      I'm sorry you had to hear it here first.

      People are proud of not knowing math, but even more proud of not knowing it but getting good grades it in. But, of course, this is true of every discipline. Everyone is very proud of saying "i learned nothing in high school lololol"

      Delete
  11. Randall's got some slight of hand going with "learning to cook". It can mean two different things. There are many competent cooks, who are perfectly capable of feeding themselves, who want to "learn to cook". The archetypical cooking blog is probably written by a competent daily cook who wants to "learn to cook". "Learning to cook" in this sense could involve traveling to France to spend a week in a French cooking school, or attending workshops on wine and cheese pairings at Whole Foods. In this sense, "learning to cook" is an aspirational goal towards someone's idea of gourmet cooking. Like music and learning a foreign language, gourmet cooking is not a necessary life skill, but it arguably makes one a "better" person.

    The other meaning of "learning to cook" applies to a man-child who can't figure out how to boil water and who gets all their meals from restaurants. It's about not having a basic life skill, and people who can't manage to cook to feed themselves are losers who deserve to be mocked.

    It's disingenuous of Randall to lump "learning to cook" with foreign languages and music when that grouping clearly implies the aspiration to gourmet cookery, rather than Randall's inability to manage a basic life skill.

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    1. You don't have to cook if you always have access to a lactating woman, though.

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    2. Naw... I saw an episode of Criminal Minds about that and it turns out you would die of malnourishment or something.

      Delete
    3. Yeah, learning to cook was a confusing choice. I immediately think of my older brother who used to routinely wake up the house at 5am trying to make toast when we were kids. He learned to cook. I don't mean that he went to a French cooking school, he just learned to heat food up in a an edible and sometimes even tasty fashion since then.

      In the same vein, the top portion of the comic talks about forgetting algebra. Then the bottom says, "not learning math" as if anyone that didn't learn or retain algebra doesn't know or use any math.

      Personally, I use math all the time, but still have yet to use algebra in my daily life or workplace outside of classes I had to take. I also know how to cook, though I can't say I've been to France or would necessarily be able to get Gordon Ramsey to say something nice to me (though I think my cooking is pretty good).

      Delete
  12. Ron Paul 2012

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  13. I actually like the 10k comic for the fact that it is a bit thought provoking. If though the reason it got replaced with the current garbage that is comic 1052, so he could do a meta-humor joke then I think that Randull needs to be hit in the nose with a newspaper and be told "Bad Randull, you do that outside! Not in the house!"

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  14. Comic 10K is the only one up for me, can someone link to the "majors suck" version please?

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  15. Hey, it seems linguistics isn't terrible!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nor is political science!

      Unsurprisingly, though, economics, literature and philosophy fell victim to more of Randy's garden variety "everything not sufficiently math related is worthless" arguments.

      Delete
    2. This is more of Randall's "I'm totally a hard science major guize!!!" Even though he majored in "computer science" which at the undergraduate level means "I know perl, Java and maybe some C." Note how his math comics all revolved around esoteric, nonphysical mathematics, like Karnaugh maps. He does the occasional "physicsastronomylol" comic based on stuff you could learn in an hour from Wikipedia. He thinks he knows about hard sciences because he had to take calc III, but he probably knows less actual math than the average molecular biologist.

      Delete
  16. Half of the things listed in 1052 aren't "majors".

    I'll eat my hat if there are any institutions in the US that offers bachelor's degrees in: social psychology, seismology, virology, astronomy, herpetology, gastroenterology, poetry, or (meta-academic) epidemiology.

    You might be able to get a graduate degree in some of these, but in my experience, grad students identify either by department (more general than subdiscipline) or by giving an overview of their research (more specific than subdiscipline), rather than the subdiscipline itself. And grad students certainly don't identify by "major"

    I'll spot Randy "lit", even though it rarely goes by that name (usually that's an English major).

    Theology is a major, but only at religious schools. It's not on the standard menu of majors; you'd have to first choose to enroll in a school that offers it.

    Geography deparments/majors exist, but are rare.

    IT/CS: Both degrees exist, but I'm skeptical that any one school offers both.

    Pre-med: not a major

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Your post was boring. Not wrong, not quite right, but boring. What were you trying to achieve with it?

      Delete
    2. I'm an undergrad astronomy major. =P

      Delete
    3. Eat your hat. EAT IT.

      Delete
    4. Places with astronomy bachelors degrees:
      University of Illinois
      University of Arizona
      SUNY Albany
      University of North Carolina

      Literally off the top of my head. And I *hold* a degree in poetry.

      Delete
  17. I guess I appreciate that Randall actually seems to have put some effort into 1052, but I can't help but be overwhelmed by how unbearably unoriginal and unfunny all of the jokes are.

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  18. who else would quite like to see rob speak german a bit?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Me! Ich will Rob Deutsch sprechen zu hören!

      God it's been so long, I'm pretty sure the grammar is awful. Your turn, fat man.

      Delete
    2. Ah, forgot to say: I am especially interested in seeing the fat man speak German naked, if that's not too much to ask.

      Delete
    3. Goring has been dead for decades.

      Delete
  19. I've done the math based on Randall's figures, and I think the reason why the Ten Thousand comic was pulled is that the correct value is actually far closer to eleven thousand.

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    Replies
    1. It is in the official version, too. He was keeping significant figures.

      Delete
  20. I was hoping for more rage about 1050. Randy lied. He doesn't think it's weird. He KNOWS why people regret not learning cooking, music and language. Those are social hobbies. Most people have been moved by great conversation, a fine meal or an exquisite piece of music. Only math people are moved by math. If all math people are unlikable pricks like Randy, why would anyone regret being unable to share in what brings them joy?

    'The same arguments' indeed. Arrogant piece of shit.

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    Replies
    1. i think much of the rage was in the previous post's comments, cos rob likes to keep us waiting

      Delete
  21. One thing that is downright hypocritical in Randall's part is that, in that godawful "Learning to Cook" "comic" (the one with the boring flow chart), in a way, Randall was showing his pride in not knowing how to cook. In fact, he got quite a beating from the forumites for that. So, Randall did towards cooking exactly what the strawman character did towards math. It just shows that Randall is invariably biased and SIMPLY CAN'T SEE THAT.

    Regarding today's comic, I just can't wrap my head around Randall's writing style. Even though the lyrics are supposed to be overworked and stilted, it's still too overworked even for that. It's just like Randall simply can't put two words together.

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  22. 1050 is just kind of silly, because I know plenty of people who are proud of failing to learn music, failing to learn how to cook, and ESPECIALLY failing to learn how to speak English (a foreign language in these here parts). And don't get me started on everything to do with chemistry, physics, history, etc.

    Math isn't special.

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    1. I think you can only really be proud of being bad at something if you couldn't care less about the subject and if you have some other interest you do care learning about. Maybe that's obvious. I would like to be better at math even though I'm already fairly good (or educated). And I'd love to be a talented musician but I just never bothered to master any instrument or learn to understand notes. All comes down to the fact that I like to make games. Hmm, but I still have hard time coming up with something I'm proud of failing at. Sports? I don't care about it but why belittle it? Ack

      Delete
  23. Rob, I too saw the alternate 1052. There can be only one explanation.

    A more-than-man sits (loosely speaking) at his desk. He has just finished his latest attempt at reproducing a fragment of his knowledge- though it be no more than a mere pothole to the vast, yawning chasm that is his unparalleled intellect in its totality. Only his magnificent girth dares rival his brilliance in sheer magnitude. The behemoth laboriously grasps at his mouse. At last, he manipulates it to do his bidding, submitting his newest masterpiece, Xkcd 1052, to be ravenously devoured by the cuddlefish masses starved for his genius.

    The great Robdall lets out a resounding grumble of content. He thinks to himself, “Yea, my cuddlefish, drink in my bountiful wisdom and rejoice, for I have declared ye worthy.” Miraculously, a sigh slips through his lips as he allows himself to daydream. “Mmmm... drink...” His enormous fingers slide down ever so slowly. He is unable to stop himself as the thought of sacred milk from divine Megan's perfect breasts. The nectar gushing forth from her-

    A frown. Or flesh drooping to very much resemble one. Something has broken Robdall from his fantasy. From somewhere within his mass, a fearsome gurgling erupts as he vocalizes his displeasure. What could it be that troubles this more-than-man, nay, this GOD?

    “I... try... not... to... make... fun... of...” He grunts in distress. Simply muttering the words is a most impossible task. So much so that he never bothers proofreading his work anymore. Robdall needs it not, and it only results in over-exertion anyway. But then what of this pressing urge? He finishes re-reading the comic (dear Feynman, never again) yet was unable to find any errors, not even a typo. Robdall's laughter booms out. “Dear me, how could I be so silly as to doubt my glorious mind?” he ponders. His hands glide back down as he slips into the dream once more.

    It hits him all at once. A horrifying bellow echoes out across the lands and sends the peasants fleeing for their lives, fearing he has left his abode to feed once again. “Curses! Impossible!” He cries out in anguish at his stupid mistake. “In my kindness and grace, I have instructed the cuddlefish to educate the common fools of the world! The cuddlefish will go forth with this message, teaching them and bringing them all up to our level!” With one fell swoop, Robdall had forsaken his claim to intellectual superiority and his sole right to be smug!

    With the fury of over nine thousand storms, he hastily worked to remove the comic from the internet. Sweat ushered forth from every pore, dousing the realm and polluting the earth. Those who remained sought higher ground to escape the rising tide, praying they would be elevated enough that their pleas for mercy might reach their awesome lord's ears. The ground shook as his body swung to and fro while he mashed at his keyboard and mouse. Finally, it was successfully removed, and a calm overtook the mighty Rob.

    The danger had passed. His mind drifted back to the forgotten thoughts of Megan's milk. With what little energy he had left, he wanked and came all over his desk. Gasping for air, Robdall despaired. He still had to come up with a replacement, but maintaining focus was absolutely impossible. Glancing downward, he saw a piece of paper, covered in his own ejaculate. His new masterpiece.

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    Replies
    1. See, the joke is that Randy's comics are just self-congratulatory, wank-offs.

      Delete
  24. I know he was making fun of "every" major, but I'm still angered by what he said about my major, economics, because the "joke" comes from such a place of total ignorance. If he seriously thinks the "dismal" part is OK, then I don't think he knows why it's called "the dismal science." The guy who first called it "the dismal science" was an idiot who had no clue what he was talking about and knew nothing about economics, and was slammed down by people who actually DID understand economics.

    And the other part of the joke is basically saying it sucks because it's not a science. This is what I hate about Randy- the fact that he thinks anything that's not a hard science is useless. Economics isn't a hard science, but the world would be in serious trouble if we didn't have any economists.

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    1. No no chaos, you've got it all wrong. the JOKE isn't the quote, the JOKE is economics! =v
      .
      .
      .
      ...(zing?)

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    2. Don't be so dismal.

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    3. Well I certainly didn't enroll in no science department. =[

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    4. With respect, the world was doing fine before all the "economists" and is in serious trouble because of them, not despite them.

      While every subject pretends to be more rigorous than it really is - except mathematics, which sometimes too much emphasis on unimaginative, uninteresting rigour - economics is unique in the amount of fuck it has caused recently. This is because only economics makes theological assumptions and then pursues them with so much oversimplified but high-level mathematics as to try to blind the reader to where he and reality may have parted ways.

      This doesn't mean we shouldn't study economics. But we should study it in the way we should have studied psychiatry 100 years ago: by realising the discipline is, at best, in its infancy, and should only be used to make observations and academic predictions. It cannot be used to make practical decisions except perhaps on a limited scale and with supporting evidence from other fields, not merely because the models are too simple but because economics remains a branch of the local group's politics (whence "political economy"), despite the renaming so... Orwellian.

      Delete
    5. I feel like you're talking about the Neoclassical theory of economics, which is the dominant theory in the Western world, but which is clearly stupid and wrong. Personally, I follow the Old Institutionalist theory of economics, and none of the things you say really apply to that.

      Delete
    6. Total airball at 10:38pm. Suggesting that the world is in serious trouble because of economists is similar to suggesting that scientists have caused the sun to start running out of hydrogen.

      Delete
    7. 11:07, exactly. Economics contains too much theology for the Real World[tm] to take so much notice of economists as a group. Economics is still a good thing to study and it is your job as an enlightened nascent economist to take economics out of disrepute so we can apply it sensibly.

      12:47, no it isn't. Your comparison was silly and you appear silly.

      (also is Randall doing something lame like delivering the old comic 1 in 10,000 times?)

      Delete
    8. You can't just choose not to practice economics. Even if we all go back to just trading goats for flower, that's still a primitive form of economics, right?

      Delete
    9. 1) The sun is not running out of hydrogen. The world is in serious trouble.

      2) If the sun were running out of hydrogen, and scientists were working as seven figure salaried consultants to hydrogen mining firms instructing them how to extract the hydrogen to sell to space lizards, then yes: they would be at fault.

      Delete
    10. >(also is Randall doing something lame like delivering the old comic 1 in 10,000 times?)

      I don't think so, but seeing how popular Umwelt was, I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to use more scripts.

      Speaking of, I can't help but feeling a bit bad for Davean, xkcd's sysadmin. I mean, cuddlefish were all "that was great, Randall!", even after the poor fellow posted in the forums basically saying "nope guys, that was my idea and my scripts, not Randall's". That thread taught me the true meaning of "injustice". When I think about that incident, my heart hurts so much that I'd like to rip it out and squash it with my bare hands, out of sadness. I would like to poke little holes in it so that it cries its silly drops. Haha just kidding, I would simply sit on it until it stops beating, in case it hasn't already stopped doing so by that time. But yeah, that's the kind of things I want to do when I think about Davean.

      Delete
  25. I much prefer the original song, but that might be because I'm a huge chemistry geek.

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    1. you mean 'fan of light opera', either that or you are trying to wind me up in which case evidently it worked

      Delete
    2. He might mean that no huge chemistry geek would like Lehrer's version because that would be as a "huge English geek" enjoying the Sesame Street alphabet song.

      Well, you can hope...

      Delete
    3. oh yeah, that too, that is the nicest reading. I'm going with that

      Delete
    4. No, the original song.

      It's like some people refuse to expose themselves to anything older than themselves.

      And no, it's funny even if you have a grasp on more complicated concepts. Provided you have a sense of humor, of course.

      Delete
    5. but the Pirates of Penzance was written in the 1870s which, although i am pretty old, i am not that old.

      Delete
    6. I consider that some of Lehrer's political songs are creative and substantive. But the Elements Song is a list of elements. How is that "funny"?

      Unless you mean that he's presciently trolling fans with his own preamble, "It's simply the names of the chemical elements set to a possibly recognizable tune." I guess that's funny.

      Delete
    7. You know that's not the original song, right?

      Delete
    8. I heard about begging the question on TV, so I guess the communications people know about it too.

      Delete
    9. Too uptight to see humor in anything except what you perceive as wit. In hindsight, I guess it's not surprising that Xkcd Sucks is full of people with a limited sense of humor. I mean, I don't like xkcd much myself, and doubt I'd stop by the blog if I did, but really.

      @1:58. Yes it is. Read the text over the top of the tune. It's not a coincidence that it scans. Not to mention that he actually cites it in the comic...

      Delete
    10. @7:47 wasn't he saying the Lehrer song isn't the original? Or are YOU saying the Lehrer song WAS the original. fuck i hate this

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    11. 7:47 is just trolling as the usual cuddlefish persona. No-one that stupid would have the wherewithal to post here.

      Delete
    12. It is the original. How much fucking effort would it cost you people to just listen to the thing? I gave you the link. Jesus.

      Delete
    13. @12:58

      No, Tom Lehrer's version is not 'the original'. Read the fucking comic.

      Randall's song is based on "The Major-General's Song", which was written by Gilbert and Sullivan, and premiered in the comic opera "The Pirates of Penzance" in 1880.

      HE SAYS SO HIMSELF, ON THE GODDAMN PAGE.

      "The Elements" was published in 1959.

      Do the math and then fuck off, you sophomoric dilettante.

      Delete
    14. 2:33 = 12:58.

      Delete
    15. that's what wound me up the most, the comic's assumption that the best that could be expected of the reader was to have heard of the elements song. mr Munroe knows the tune was written by someone else, but *you* wouldn't, because *you're* a pleb. according to the ten thousand comic the thought process ought to be 'Gilbert & Sullivan? who are they?' 'oh man! come on, we're going to the record shop' 'why' etc.
      except this comic it's ''Gilbert & Sullivan? who are they?' 'you don't need to know that, you just need to have heard of tom lehrer' 'tom lehrer? who is that?' never mind, just think Mary poppins because you're OBVIOUSLY not 'one of us''
      although according to this comic, knowing anything about anything that isn't "hard science" is useless anyway so maybe that's why.

      also fuck that stupid 'geek song' fucking bullshit. fuck it in its fucking EAR. jonathan fucking coulton type shit. everyone who is a fan of that stuff is an idiot

      i hate xkcd hate it hate it hate it. and I hate its forums even more. 'Hey! I love showing people cool stuff. i like to lecture people and show them how much more i know than they do.' YOU SOUND LIKE A CREEPY PATRONISING ARSEHOLE. there's one colossal knobend on there insisting on interpreting this as being about how terrible it is that people are sometimes afraid to admit they don't know stuff at job interviews when they ask you about whether you know what you need to know to do the job.

      Delete
    16. i love you weaselsoup <3

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    17. thank you. that totally makes up for the guy that called me 'annoying' the other week

      xx

      Delete
    18. Dicksmash McIroncockMay 9, 2012 at 11:44 AM

      Was it me? I think that was like two months ago.

      Delete
    19. some of jonathan coulton's stuff is pretty good

      unfortunately people prefer the geeky dog-whistle stuff that isn't as good

      because people are awful

      Delete
    20. some of chris houlihan's stuff is pretty good

      unfortunately people prefer the geeky dog-whistle stuff that isn't as good

      because people are awful

      Delete
    21. some of jon levi's stuff is pretty good

      unfortunately people prefer the geeky dog-whistle stuff that isn't as good

      because people are awful

      Delete
    22. lol just kidding, none of jon levi's stuff is good

      Delete
    23. Weaselsoup, I would like nothing more than for you to extrude your secondary carapace, engage your clasping spurs, and insert your ovipositor into my gut, pumping the black soaked eggs of your wicked offspring into me, to use my body to nurture their growing, Gehennan malice.

      Maybe there's not enough room in this crazy, xkcd-filled world for a lovestruck, ungendered and anonymous forum poster and a beautiful, hate-filled she demon like you. I don't know if we'll ever be safe from the Randall Munroes, the jon levis, or the chris houlihans. But I'd like it if, when you're dipping your forelegs into the sulfurous magma you use to preen the rows of barbed setae which protect your dorsal pinnacles, you would think of me a little. And who knows? Maybe, one day, when you look into the network of black peridots embedded in your thorax in lieu of a heart, you will find a single, unoccupied corpuscule, in which there will finally be room...for love.

      Delete
  26. This is something everyone does, and it's fucking stupid. So AWWWWWWW JEAH. It's the breakdown:

    --Most people do not end up employed in the major they choose. College is not job training. If it were, most people would be majoring in "data entry." Randall himself is a good example of this (which begs the question, why the hell is he lecturing us on choosing a major? He's a grown man who makes stick figure doodles for a living. Where does he get off telling me a literature major is useless?)
    --The job market for EVERY discipline is pretty much dismal. Most people in "sensible" disciplines who are crowing "should have gotten a real degree ENGLISH MAJOR LOLOLOLOLLLLL" are either undergraduates who don't actually know what they're doing after they graduate, old guys who got jobs before the market started to suck, or people who have jobs unrelated to their degree, but think their choice of degree somehow made them stand out.
    --Like I said before, Randall doesn't have a real job. He thinks "every major is terrible" because every major requires learning skills, then applying them to the real world for more than two years before you give up and start selling t-shirts. It's like Zach Weiner and his "publish or perish" comic: where the fuck do webcomic authors get off scolding the rest of us for making poor career choices? Maybe he and Randall wouldn't be so big if they had to sack up and get a job that makes them put on pants, and where you can't drink NyQuil all day until you pass out jerking off to a netflixed episode of She-Ra on just any old Tuesday.

    Which is not to mention that half of these are not problems with the major, but dumb shit that's just there so it can rhyme/just barely scan. Chemistry? High on methylacetate? Methylacetate doesn't get you high, and are chemistry majors know to collect stamps? Is this a periodic table joke? Fuck you Randall.

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    1. also fuck Richard Feynman. How an arrogant, sociopathic sex-addict became someone we're all supposed to admire because he could take a few integrals is baffling to me. Fuck you, Feynman.

      and...

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physics_major

      Delete
    2. "Where does he get off telling me a literature major is useless?"

      That's because Randall reads REAL literature, that is the GEEKY stuff such as Orson Scott Card and Terry Pratchett (Douglas Adams is too mainstream). All the rest of literature is only worth for making jokes and out of context quotes. You don't need a major for that! Wikipedia is enough.

      Delete
    3. also Megan has cancer and that's funny tooMay 8, 2012 at 4:13 AM

      Am I the only one to think Pratchett is overrated and unsophisticated? Far be it from me to kick someone while they're down, but my first thought on hearing of Pratchett's dementia was that he gave himself an intelligence test and found out he actually wasn't that smart so concluded that he must suffering a horrible disease.

      He needed an excuse for not being able to milk his fans with more of the same tired old style. "It can't be that they've grown up," he thinks to himself, "So it must be that I'm reverting to childhood."

      Delete
    4. Given our treatment of Randall on this blog I suppose it's par for the course to attack Pratchett... but as a Pratchett fanboi myself I having to defend his writing... it is more like a "intelligent sitcom" (thinking "Seinfeld" or "How I Met Your Mother" or "Big Bang Theory" or "Frasier" here). There's usually a decent story, a few poignant puns, some dry laughs and some thinly veiled social commentary that doesn't really say anything. They are fun to read and well written but they are not the best books ever.

      Delete
    5. That's what sheMay 8, 2012 at 7:03 AM

      It does not beg the question. lrn2englsh.

      Delete
    6. to know what beg the question actually means, you have to study a subject that xkcd thinks is worthless

      Delete
    7. 11:04 did say he was a lit major

      Delete
    8. Using "begs the question" in that context is a perfectly valid use of the English language, bad Latin aside. Who the fuck are you, Horace?

      Delete
    9. And anyway, he used it perfectly. If people use "begs the question" in the sense of "raises the question" then so be it, that's its new meaning. I think it's safe to say its use in this sense is widespread now, so yeah. Ah, descriptive vs. prescriptive linguistics, oldie but goodie.

      Delete
    10. The original latin is "petitio principii." Whatever asshole decided the best translation of "principii" (dative singlular "principium" lit. "beginning" as in "first principle") was "question" is a moron

      Delete
    11. I like ampayala, hoppy beers, cheap espresso and 11:04's post.

      Delete
    12. It makes perfect sense, 9:55. You're answering the question ("why is x true?") with the substance of the question itself ("because x is true").

      Delete
    13. That's what sheMay 8, 2012 at 1:43 PM

      So what you're saying is no phrase can ever be used incorrectly, because the instant it is used in a way not originally intended, that's its new meaning.

      Eat a bag of dicks.

      Delete
    14. @That's what she, that's the kind of counterargument I'd have expected from a Ron Paul supporter with Asperger's.

      Delete
    15. He's got you down perfectly, Booty, you stupid sack of shit.

      Delete
    16. for all intensive purposes, 9:24 is a complete faggot

      Delete
    17. That's what sheMay 9, 2012 at 7:31 AM

      I love you too, 3:21.

      Delete
    18. It's "intents and purposes" not "intensive purposes." What you just said is that 9:24 is a faggot, but only when the job really requires it.

      Delete
    19. That's the joke.

      Delete
  27. The way Randall talked about the majors topic is weird because it makes it seens like he's thinks he's a young guy who is actually in the time of his life when he's going to make a choice in what field he's going graduate in. Perhaps all those boring years drawing doodles made him long for the time when he could actually make huge choices which would determine the course of his professional life?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope. This is him coping with his regret for not having done something more interesting by claiming all the other things he could have studied instead would have sucked just as much as his own decision.

      Delete
    2. Alessandro, he's not 18 any more, but he's still young enough (especially given that he has a BS already) to go back to and get into any field he wants to. He just happens to prefer drawing three stick figure comics a week to having a real job.

      Delete
    3. more like

      he WRITES BS already

      pwned

      Delete
  28. I'm 44 years old and have had both of my ring fingers (left and right hands) nails split down the middle of each finger. My two nails look like they have verticle ridges down both of them and they both split from the nail end inward toward my cuticle. The split is ever so short, but I keep my nails trimmed fairly short with just a few centimeters of white on the end. I have to continuously clip my nail to minimize the split from catching on blankets, towels, anything cloth and my hair when I wash it - it drives me crazy! This is not a nervous condition, not a result of back trauma or back pain (I have none and have never had any back issues), not a hand washing (water and soap or detergent) issue as I use rubber gloves when I do the dishes... this is definitely a nutrient issue.
    Taking vitamin A and vitamin E helps, but it doesn't go away completely. This is hereditary. My mother had the same issue, but she didn't know enough to take vitamins. My sister has the same issue and she is well nutritioned and has to take A and E to help it too (she is 49 and an RN).
    So, super gluing your nails may help because of the pressure pushed against the front of the nail when it is glued helps elliviate the back of the nail, but who wants to superglue their nail for life? (It can't be healthy.)
    Just my two cents because I had researched all over the internet and googled tons of sites, read everybody's posts and tried alot of different things over the past two years to come to this conclusion.
    Take vitamin A and E.
    Suzi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If there's a few centimeters of white at the end of your nails, I wouldn't call them short,

      Delete
  29. fuck off, everyone knows vitamin c solves every health problem known to man.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Adolf Hitler 2012

    ReplyDelete
  31. No one mentioned how the "ten thousand" comic implies that people don't become adults until they're 30.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's because it doesn't.

      Delete
  32. Randall,

    WP:DAW.

    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  33. What is everyone's favorite goatkcd?

    Mine is 832, although I also like 1020.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine is http://goatkcd.com/535/

      Delete
    2. 807
      732
      598
      803

      Also, any of the ones about cancer.

      Delete
    3. 793; 394; 764; 1009; 547; 767

      Delete
  34. @anon141: Randall does not know that his life experience is not representative.

    ReplyDelete
  35. did you people see the link on the comic page to thhe youtube video. someone has videoed themselves singing this piece of shit and posted it to youtube. thing is, i can't watch, it's too cringingly embarrassing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Watched a good minute of it. Turns out the "good" part wasn't that literal. Noooope, not at all. I think I saw my life flash before my eyes. I... why did I watch that.

      Delete
    2. Butteriss looks like David Mitchell. And, though he's not half good, my mother's town choir group made a more rousing performance.

      As to the xkcd singalong, no wonder Americans are failing even in their own universities. I am both depressed and excited that this is the best the country has to offer. Good riddance, fallen empire. Stirring panda, nos morituri te salutamus.

      Delete
    3. fucken spergs lmao

      Delete
  36. This one's for weaselsoup for reminding me how much I hate Portal and its fanbaseMay 9, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    My life's a failure
    I'm making a note here: I've no friends
    And my wife's dying of a carcinoma.
    Stick-figure comics:
    I draw what I can
    And nothing else.
    Pandering to mainstream geeks
    But not the ones with a clue.

    But there's no sense rectifying every mistake
    When you have do-overs and a meme about cake.
    And the drawing gets done
    With a speech-bubble pun
    Voiced my Megan (who is still alive).

    I'm not even trying
    I've lapsed into childhood right now.
    Even though I once wrote code
    For NASA.
    And blew up a rocket.
    And became a villain of the state.
    As it burned I smiled because
    I'd just conceived Black Hat Guy.

    Now these wretched comics make a popular site
    I gave up my day job
    To become a white knight.
    So I'm glad I got fat
    And gave each figure a hat
    Except Megan (who is still alive).

    Go ahead and mock me
    Carl won't keep writing anyway.
    Maybe someone else'll keep it going.
    Maybe Rob Mason
    THAT WAS A JOKE
    HAHA. FAT CHANCE.

    Anyway, berets are great.
    They're existential and gay.

    Look at me still talking
    When there's drawing to do
    When I see you try
    It makes me glad I'm not you.

    I've Wikipedia to rape
    And some t-shirts to shape
    For my Megan (who is still alive).
    And believe me she is still alive.
    Though her cancer reduces her drive.
    She is LACTATING and she's still alive
    And her vulva is still worth a dive
    And when I'm broke she may still be alive.
    Don't revive.
    Don't revive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. make love to me :-D I have a thing for fat lonely men ha ha :DDD

      Delete
    2. i think that means rob has first dibs

      Delete
    3. cuddlefish #211978531May 9, 2012 at 2:54 PM

      i'm different

      Delete
  37. I've just read all the comments here.
    Due to the threaded crap, I can't just leave a useless post as a bookmark anymore.
    How do I (easily) see which posts are new the next time I come here?

    Thanks. And thanks for the great reviews rod.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. fuck you ravenzomg samefag

      Delete
    2. The best way is to never come here then if you were here they'd all be new.

      Delete
  38. we should all agree to not reply except at the bottom, fuck da threads

    which is to say we all agree to not read anything not replied at the bottom*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I heartily agree with this suggestion.

      Delete
    2. Weren't people happy to finally have threaded comments? I seem to remember having read some old comments about it.

      I think that if everybody started to comment at the bottom, there would be even more random comments (e.g. memes and copy-paste). Not complaining about random comments, but a minimum of topicality can't be that bad either.

      Delete
    3. Maybe you're thinking about another blog. All I remember was a string of curses against this thing called "change." Also "inconvenience."

      Then people went on to use them anyway because it gets even more confusing when sometimes people are discussing things in threads and other times they're discussing them outside of threads.

      Delete
  39. Kizolk, the problem with threading is that it assumes you have only one thing you want to reply to. I frequently like to list various posts to tell them they suck, and it's harder to do with threading. For example, Kizolk, you are wrong, and also SinbadEV@5:45 is wrong to like Terry Pratchett. Sometimes I then take the opportunity to point out why these seemingly disparate posts are connected - in this case, it's that both of you lack imagination.

    tl;dr Threading allows those who posted earliest to discourage discussion of relations between topics, and like xkcd that's an awful thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Though unless I'm SinbadEV or Kizolk, chances are I won't know what comment of theirs you're refering to, hereby effectively making an open discussion a closed one, where only two people know what they're talking about. If I want to participate, I would have to find their comments among all the non-topical/threaded crap that's been said before. I could Ctrl + F their names, but since most posters are anonymous, it's just not viable. Just try to Ctrl + F "2:56" for instance and you'll see. And anyway, that's assuming people would bother Ctrl + F things.

      A good compromise would be to quote any message you want to react to. Easy, quick and clear. Only a genius would come up with this kind of brilliant idea.

      Delete
    2. Also, note that for someone new on the site (well, not *that* new, I've been posting anonymously for some time, but still), I sure love to speak like I've been here all my life.

      Delete
    3. chris houlihan's room

      Delete
    4. But AnonymousMay 10, 2012 4:30 AM, how can it be wrong when it feels so right?

      Delete
    5. You should compartmentalize your online critique into multiple posts then. It is considered the state of the art in anonymous persona management.

      Delete
  40. Kizolk, name@time is shorthand for quoting what you're replying to - it's not necessary to explicitly describe what everyone said like that hilarious Summarising German from a few weeks ago. If the comment you're replying to is almost immediately above yours, there's no need to put the time.

    In the unusual event of two Anonymous comments posted at the same time of day, it's not too hard to guess which is being replied to.

    It's much easier to deal with this than to have to search through the whole fucking comment section for new comments. And I don't have a Blogger account and don't intend to get one, so don't expect me to do that just to tweak some view settings and fix what didn't need to be broken (if it's even possible).

    Even Google is aware that putting stuff in one place in a hierarchy is artificially limiting, hence eschewing traditional folders in that otherwise abomination GMail. I am right and you need to accept it.

    ReplyDelete
  41. honestly kizolk i think you are overestimating how important formality of sub-discussions are on a site called "xkcdsucks".

    ReplyDelete
  42. I am ashamed and would like to die, if possible. Furthermore, I would like to die a shameful death, because it has to reflect my despicable behavior. In the meantime, I promise I won't praise threaded comments again, nor will I advocate such foolish devices as quoting the comments you want to respond to. Even though I haven't changed my mind, and will die knowing that my intellect is still unrivaled.

    Nah, but one thing's for sure, finding new comments sure is a pain in the ass as of now, so yay for changing that I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  43. personally, i'm more annoyed that all the comments are still in fucking bold. fix the goddamn template already rob, you worthless fatass

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hold up here a second Ravenzomg, I believe that the sub-discussions on this site are of the utmost importance. You are the choas butterfly Ravenzomg, just remember that, you are the choas butterfly.

    ReplyDelete
  45. The only change to this blog that upsets me is the loss of Jon Levi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still here. I'll never leave you, Anonymous.

      Delete
    2. I've changed my mind. Jon Levi's a shit.

      Delete
  46. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L_YLRGMAhU&feature=g-all-lik

    The rhythm's fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The rhythm may be fine (I'm not going to watch more than five seconds of that video), but why are you self-promoting your xkcd fanboyism on an xkcd hate blog? Were you rejected by the forums or something?

      Delete
    2. Broatch, it may be that you can sing. It may be that you can perform. It may even be that your singing performances are so good that they can be used to determine whether a set of lyrics fits with a tune.

      But you've demonstrated none of these things with your offering. All you've shown to us is that you have access to a microphone, can read words, and can put on the almost unbearably smug face of someone whose world is so small that he thinks he's on top of everything.

      Delete
    3. Hey, OP, since you seem to imply that you sing as an analysis of artistic quality, how about publishing a performance of the below lyrics to the tune of Still Alive. My day job doesn't consist in writing comics and it took me about 5 minutes to knock it out so it won't be quite as perfect as Randall's oeuvre, but I would like to get the message out.

      P.S. I know Randall's not generally regarded as fat - this is one of those "in jokes" that helps cuddlefish feel like they belong. Thanks!

      My life's a failure.
      I'm making a note here: I've no friends
      And my wife's dying of a carcinoma.
      Stick-figure comics:
      I draw what I can
      And nothing else.
      Pandering to mainstream geeks
      But not the ones with a clue.

      But there's no sense rectifying every mistake
      When you have do-overs and a meme about cake.
      And the drawing gets done
      With a speech-bubble pun
      Voiced my Megan (who is still alive).

      I'm not even trying
      I've lapsed into childhood right now.
      Even though I once wrote code
      For NASA.
      And blew up a rocket.
      And became a villain of the state.
      As it burned I smiled because
      I'd just conceived Black Hat Guy.

      Now these wretched comics make a popular site -
      I gave up my day job
      To become a white knight.
      So I'm glad I got fat
      And gave each figure a hat
      Except Megan (who is still alive).

      Go ahead and mock me
      Carl won't keep writing anyway.
      Maybe someone else'll keep it going.
      Maybe Rob Mason.
      THAT WAS A JOKE -
      HAHA. FAT CHANCE.

      Anyway, berets are great.
      They're existential and gay.

      Look at me still talking
      When there's drawing to do -
      When I see you try
      It makes me glad I'm not you.

      I've Wikipedia to rape
      And some merchandise to shape
      For my Megan (who is still alive).
      And believe me she is still alive.
      Though her cancer is reducing her drive.
      She is LACTATING and she's still alive
      And her vulva is still worth a dive
      And when I'm broke she may still be alive.

      Don't revive.
      Don't revive.

      Delete
    4. Can I also please offer one of my earlier ditties which I just remember having knocked out on a cold November day. This one adapts the lyrics of Norma Jean but is expressed with the sincerity of the Princess Di version. No royalty payment necessary.

      Goodbye Janet Doe
      Though I never knew you at all
      You had the grace to wear your wig
      While those around you scrawled
      They scrawled into MSPaint
      And they whispered into your brain
      They set you on the milk pump
      And they made you change your name

      chorus:
      And it seems to me that you're Randall's wife
      A mistake but not a sin
      Having no real man to cling to
      When Big C set in
      And I would have liked to have bought you
      But I was just outbid
      Your bosom burned out long before
      Your potential to be milked for sympathy by a failing comic who desperately needs a new creative angle and to look like more than a big kid with no real responsibilities ever did

      Stick figure female geek was tough
      The toughest role you ever played
      Randall he created a superstar
      And pain was the price you paid
      Even when you died
      Oh the trolls still hounded you
      All the hate blogs had to say
      Was that Megan was found lactating

      [repeat chorus]

      Goodbye Janet Doe
      Though I never knew you at all
      You had the grace to wear your wig
      While those around you scrawled

      From the young man browsing xkcdsucks
      Who sees you as something more than sexual
      More than just our Megan Munroe

      [repeat chorus]

      Delete
    5. oh no, the link on the comic is to that other guy who got there first. that must boil your piss

      Delete
  47. Changing the stress of a word, to some extent, is permissible in songs, yes. But Randall didn't provide us with a song: when I hear Jagger sing "sa-tis-fac-tion", that is a permissible deviation from proper scansion. But I would not read the lyrics for fun, nor would I consider new lyrics clever or interesting (chloroplast gun?). This is irrelevant in the face of the fact that the original patter lyrics scan perfectly, which is why they can be patter songs: distorted stresses or extraneous syllables ruin the rhythm for the lister, as evidenced by the stop and go performance above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know... I do find Literal Videos' lyric replacements for music videos somewhat amusing. Of course any fool can see the videos are ridiculous, but I think it's OK to allow ones self to be amused a little bit, occasionally... when I'm not hatefully critiquing things online.

      I'm not aware if they've done Jagger -- However, I am petitioning congress in support of DMCA exemptions for such satirical works, as exemptions are up for renewal.

      I do agree: New lyrics aren't especially clever, and neither are Randal's, but at least the videos have music to keep the tempo, and they try to have somewhat synchronous dubs. As far as opinions of humor go, I don't value yours any more than you value mine.

      Delete
  48. A frame by frame list of mistakes in Randall's song:
    1. Philosophy is major plus sense, not sans sense;
    2. Maths, goddamn Americans;
    3. On the contrary, a good business major is probably one of the best ways to get ahead;
    4. Stamp collectors? Methylacetate? This frame is complete nonsense;
    5. Isn't the very definition of a geek someone who wants to learn rather than merely "get a job"?
    6. HAHA HISTORY IS LAME SO IS ART SO ART HISTORY IS LIKE THE WORST (also a future art history course will inevitably critique xkcd);
    7/8. Hee hee "underwater basket-weave" so quirky!
    9. Found Wikipedia Bufo_fowleri page, meaninglessly connects its eating to studying biology;
    10. A true discipline ignores all others, eh Randall?
    11. "Too unbearable" being like "too pregnant";
    12. TERRIBLE kinda rhymes with GENERAL!!!!! Also I like the way Americans go into uni not knowing what they're studying... kinda;
    13. Can't or can?
    14. Theology is not "religion", goddammit Randall you fuck;
    15. The one thing Randall remembers about CS is having difficulty matching brackets in LISP 101. His mistake was writing source in Paint;
    16. No, Randall, it's not virology that'll guarantee you never get a hug. Of course Randall draws the woman as hugless so that they'll be all OH RANDALL SO UNDERSTANDS ME I WANT HIM TO DO ME WITHOUT A CONDOM;
    17. Not if you know what you're doing;
    18. Being a paraphrase of a quote (which Randall of course dishonestly puts in quote marks), it's still the wittiest frame so far;
    19. Feynman was a bit of a dick, and no undergrad degree promises you the career of one of the disciplines heroes. What are you, 12?
    20. No it doesn't. This isn't even funny.
    21. Well, you study history so you know how to do again what's been done before - but your way of looking at it is true too.
    22. The most powerful people I know, i.e. those in good positions in the civil service, have all studied History or variations thereof.
    23. What plan? I thought he had no plan? You can't just put in some idea vaguely associated with your message if it doesn't follow.
    24. As 12.
    25. Why? Because of astrological connotations? I thought it was only politicians who went full retard over "lunatics";
    26. "agorophobiac";
    27. *too* ophiophobic, because a syllable was missing;
    28. 1) GE is not a major; 2) "I can't stomach GE" is not funny;
    29. Yeah, no need to try otherwise! Lol college is a stepping stone to comic writing!
    30. What? You're just putting random words together, Randall.
    31. True.
    32. I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to find out the usual terms for the study of the study of some discipline. "Meta-academic" doesn't feature. Of course, META is one of those PANDER things;
    33-34. Econ discussed above;
    35. "Sophie's choice" is the choice given by a camp guard of which of your son or daughter you will choose to die at a concentration camp. The comparison borders on offensive.
    36. See 12, 24.

    In short, every single fucking frame falls short. Contrast with the original which is accurate, clever, funny and scans perfectly. If you think Randy's work is good then you simply have low standards. Looking at the way America's going, it's probably hard to find anyone geeky who doesn't have low standards, whence "dismal" xkcd's popularity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 35. I'm sorry, but perhaps you are unaware that the popular Television show Friends has done the same thing? Twice, even. You obviously have no idea what you're talking about.

      Delete
    2. Every episode of Friends is offensive to human intelligence, though. And while it's probably appropriate to consider xkcd to be as high-brow as that harbinger of Western cultural destruction, Randall prides himself on sensitivity, understanding and geek-like interpretation of the original or literal meanings.

      The fact is that death at Auschwitz is what Sophie's Choice is referring to. Not only is it irrelevant to the processs of choosing majors, but it's stupidly hyperbolic to compare the two.

      In short, I obviously know exactly what I'm talking about and your defence of Randall is embarrassing.

      Delete
    3. so right on 'meta'. let's all just look at the discussion on 'begs the question' above and imagine how this thread will go rather than going through with it though

      Delete
    4. You don't like Friends? How can you not like Friends?

      Friends is almost the opposite of xkcd.

      Delete
    5. Friends was great, but it stopped being funny when I acquired a sense of humor.

      Delete
    6. Is Randall really saying that all physics majors end up as engineers? He does know that many different subdisciplines of engineering have their own majors (which he conveniently neglects here? Is there some problem with being an engineer? Give that his objection to lit is that it won't get you a job, it seems odd that he would think a career with starting salaries >50K is just as bad) and that no employer (or for that matter, graduate admissions committee) seeking an engineer will be inclined to take a physics major over an engineer. Maybe because he worked at NASA, and saw physicists doing things other than pontificating about string theory, and was like "oh you end up doing more ENGINEERING than PHYSICS" not really comprehending how physics works, or how a physics major at an aerospace concern may be subtly guided towards assisting with designs, or how "engineer" is an extremely broad category whose overlap with "physicist" vanishes at the limit of low dumbassery.

      I am a scientist. Randall does not speak for us. Randall, you do not speak for us.

      Delete
  49. 1054: Wasn't Randall the one who wrote a comic a few years back about how communicating poorly then acting smug about it isn't cleverness?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's OK if you have a parasitic relationship with your spouse

      Delete
  50. matthew brotach is a dumb fucking cunt

    ReplyDelete
  51. Youre all funny people :)
    Man this is a Troll dungeon. Here i have a bucket full of fish for you guys:
    <°))))))))><
    <°))))))))><<°))))))))><
    <°))))))))><<°))))))))><<°))))))))><
    <°))))))))><<°))))))))><<°))))))))><<°))))))))><
    <°))))))))><<°))))))))><<°))))))))><<°))))))))><<°))))))))><

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hm... I guess you're right, but really, I'm funnier than the others.

      Delete
  52. I think the best way to keep the advantages of threads and lose the big disadvantage would be to use cookies to take note of when you visit and highlight posts that were posted after your last visit. Hop to it, Google.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Google should also use its data to reorder posts based on what it calculates as most relevant to your unique interests. So, for example, I would get all jokes about lactation would be listed at the top while all jokes about cancer would be near the bottom.

      Delete
  53. Comic 1054!

    Verbose? Check
    Wikipedia? Check.
    Unfunny? Check.

    Looks like business as usual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Comic 1055!

      Leopard? Check.
      Sustainable? Check.
      girllookatthatbody? Check.

      So. It has come to this.

      Delete
    2. I love that xkcd memes have become hyper-hyperreal. I'm so meta oh god there's so much blood

      Delete
    3. Well, it's better than Vista.

      Delete
  54. Is 1054 the worst xkcd in a while? Explain why.

    I can answer that! Let me start by saying that this comic is terrible indeed!

    As to why it is terrible, it's mostly due to the lack of a funny joke? Though I'll admit that my definition of "funny" is pretty narrow, as, to me, it has to imply haha's or similar onomatopoeias at some point. Much to my regret, onomatopoeias weren't had upon reading this comic.

    It wouldn't even deserve it's picto-blag article if you ask me. I know that it's kind of part of xkcd's premise: find the little things that make life seem enjoyable and fun; "it may not be much, but...", "have you tried to look at this that way?", "I just thought I'd share this with you guys" etc. But here, it is too incidental; it is not cute, not quirky, not sweet. There's no black hat guy assholery, no creepiness. Nothing.

    Sometimes, there's a comic I hate personally but that I'm still OK with, it's just not my cup of tea; 1052 for instance was such a comic. 1054 isn't. I am offended by 1054. There's nothing I would like more than to slap 1054's stupid nose -- unfortunately, it doesn't have one, so you can imagine how frustrated I am right now. In fact, I'd slap *any fucking body part* of it, but apparently, I just got bored with this joke so I'm not going to finish it. I still think I'm a comical genius, but yeah, as much as I like my jokes, I never shy away from doing the necessary pruning work.

    Which Munroe doesn't... or so I'd like to think, but the scary part is that, he might be doing it. I still like most xkcds, but when I see this kind of thing, I can't help but think it's been going on for too long, honestly. The fact that he got this idea and decided to make it a comic, then drew it, felt proud of it and decided it was obviously good enough to be published (as opposed to staying in that special drawer where he puts the not-so-good-comics-that-might-come-in-handy-the-day-all-my-other-comics-will-suck-even-more comics), speaks volumes about Munroe's current inspiration, or lack thereof.

    Man, the three-updates-a-week thing is such a bad idea. I mean, do you know of a good band that tells its fans "we will release a new album exactly every 18 months"? No, of course not, that's not how sincere art works. Unless you are veeeeeeery productive, and your works all attain a high degree of "perfection", in which case an update schedule isn't such a bad thing; the problems start when your schedule dictates you *when* to be artsy.

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    Replies
    1. HI JON LEVI

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    2. Boy, if you ain't gonna praise my jokes or my wit, you'd better get the fuck out as long as your physical integrity (especially around your nose region) is preserved.

      Delete
    3. yeah I wish xkcd was more like achewood

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    4. "It wouldn't even deserve it's picto-blag article if you ask me."

      I think you mean "its."

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    5. I think I mean "fuck you very much for the correction, pal", but I made a little typo, how embarassing. Fuck you in the ass indeed!

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    6. Typo? Buddy, that's a full blown grammatical error as far as I'm concerned. Ever heard of a little thing called suicide? Because I think you should try it.

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    7. "embarassing"

      REMEMBER:

      You HAR ASS her in HER ASS => HARASS.

      But you do not EMBAR in the ASS.

      Well, that's how I remembered those two as a kid and it made perfect sense to me.

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  55. Replies
    1. your not jon levi, CAPN

      Delete
  56. Hey guys, what, in your opinion, is the best foodstuff for shoving in one's vagina? Please respond soon, I need answers ASAP.

    ReplyDelete