Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Comic 861: A Popular Internet Game

wisdom teeth

[Comic title: Wisdom Teeth; Alt text: some bullshit, whatever]

hahahaha it is funny because he is on a drug

246 comments:

  1. Funny, huh? Eh.
    It annoys me that if you remove everything but the first and last panel the joke stays the same.

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  2. They give you hydrocodone, not..Whatever it is he's on.

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  3. Rob didn't do it, so I guess it's up to me:

    Megan Megan Megan Megan Megan.

    Yeah.

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  4. Rob is not funny because he is not on a drug

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  5. can someone explain panel 4? what the hell is the little brown and gray thing in the corner?

    also, there is an ad on the left which is entirely in chinese. i think they're selling ass rockets for old people?

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  6. It's a pick or something. Its a screenshot from Minecraft.

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  7. They don't always give you hydrocodone. I personally was prescribed percocet when I got my wisdom teeth removed. People can have pretty dramatic side effects from opiates. It's pretty rare for percocet to produce hallucinations but some people get them. I don't think this comic unreasonable.

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  8. I had my wisdom teeth out last year and didn't take the drugs because I am a man, not a sissy nerdboy. I was able to sell my prescription for a price that practically negated the cost of the surgery.

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  9. "I can't read the label because I'm a hologram" Is a great line... unfortunately it got xkcded...

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  10. You should come and live in Britain, where we don't need to sell drugs to pay for basic medical treatment.

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  11. damnit rob.

    well i couldn't muster up a proper amount of rage for this comic either. All it does is make the comment that people who play mindcraft tend to show how they mentally organize me. I, for instance, constantly cover everything with lava flows whilst i cackle maniacally from atop my 200 block tall tower.

    All said and done, randy has just almost reviewed mindcraft in lieu of a comic. megancraft? time to go make a massive megan statue.

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  12. anon@1:38: no, but you have to wait months if not years, assuming you are "worth" it, and then risk all manner of infection in your filthy hospitals.

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  13. ahahahahaha just HOW HIGH do you even have to BE just to DO something like that..........

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  14. you must be toking up on a JOINT to make you STONED or something.......

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  15. Also this comic has more unnecessary words than a fuckin' Buckley comic.

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  16. This comic is mostly ruined by tons and tons of panels explaining the joke before it happens. The expectations that he'll do something LOL WACKY and being stoned by (medical) drugs is so high by the last panel that the punchline is pretty much a fact.

    Also, this comic might be better if the punchline was like something I read months ago. This girl wrote a post with the title "I had my wisdom teeth extracted, now I'm dumb :B"

    ...I said MIGHT.

    CAPTCHA: gentics. The study of gens, heredty and varation in living organsms.

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  17. Apparently the oral surgeon operated through the guy's mouth? Because apparently Randal couldn't think of just making his cheek swollen to suggest he had surgery there :/

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  18. @anon 3:35
    Yes! Tell those damn, filthy British fops.

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  19. In this thread:

    Americans who have never received NHS treatment.

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  20. You tell them! like, if stephen hawking was british, like, he'd be killed by the national institute of um medicine!

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  21. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 7:14 AM

    You take what's good for you and I'll take my freedom.

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  22. Crap Comic.
    Crap Review.
    Crap comes out of my bumhole.

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  23. "You take what's good for you and I'll take my freedom"

    aw SHIT here it goes!

    TACKSES R A FORM A GUBBERMINT CONTROLLLLLLLLL

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  24. Anon@12:49

    It doesn't really matter what drugs you get from the dentist or what they actually do. All you need to know is drugs=wacky hijinx. Because that's all Randall knows about drugs.

    Randall is a certified genius, and never does drugs because they make your brain turn into a fried egg. Drugs are for filthy hippy art majors, not awesome scientists like Randall. You know hippies suck because they'd rather spend the weekend at a Grateful Dead show instead of watching a Firefly marathon.

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  25. Maybe someone should tell Randall that Erdos started using amphetamines once his creativity began to wane.

    Captcha: thedr. seriously?

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  26. anonymous 12:37AM, thanks for the clarification! i would never have figured it out. i thought it was supposed to be the layers randy was talking about.

    anyway, having wisdom teeth removed is for nancy-boy lineages of homo wussus, my jaw is still caveman-sized and i fucking have all 32 teeth.

    i will chew on your puny skull!

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  27. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    Nothing wrong with taxes, but when you start letting the government control things like how much you have to pay employees, or whether or not you can have medical treatment and by whom, you are not free. You're the government's bitch.

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  28. letting the government control things like how much you have to pay employees

    the troll becomes sort of obvious if you claim that in the usa there is no minimum wage.

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  29. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 8:39 AM

    Oh, no. There certainly is. That's why we're already sort of the government's bitch.

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  30. Sepia

    That seems less like legitimate criticism and more like an emotional reaction.

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  31. Rich Brits can still choose whatever medical treatment they want, just like America. The difference is that poor Brits can actually choose to get treatment.

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  32. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    Kind of sucks for the guy who never gets sick and would have liked to save up that money, doesn't it?

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  33. this is like watching a video on Youtube about kittens and scrolling down to see a bunch of comments arguing over whether or not Obama is the Antichrist

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  34. "letting the government control things like how much you have to pay employees"

    Yes, damn government, depriving me from my right to pay my employees 5 cents a month!

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  35. Yes I guess it does kind of suck for lucky people to have to help out less lucky people. I suppose at some point everyone in Britain must have gone mad and decided that it would be a nice thing to do.

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  36. "Kind of sucks for the guy who never gets sick and would have liked to save up that money, doesn't it?"

    FINE, you can go build your OWN undersea nation where the artist doesn't have to fear the censor, and earn the sweat of YOUR brow. See you when you're half-man, half-plasmid.

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  37. America, I'm coming now, it won't be long// Before I am your Antichrist.

    And didn't we have this discussion like 2 months ago? Although, arguably, Randall has done a comic on this basis several times in the past, so I will just believe that you're all ironically commenting on his unoriginality.

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  38. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    "Yes, damn government, depriving me from my right to pay my employees 5 cents a month!"

    Funny thing is, if you pay that little, you will not get any employees. And if you do, hey, they agreed to work for it, so it's their own choice if they want to sell their labor so cheap. Would you like it if you wanted to sell a watermelon for $1 and someone ordered you to sell it for no less than $2?


    "Yes I guess it does kind of suck for lucky people to have to help out less lucky people. I suppose at some point everyone in Britain must have gone mad and decided that it would be a nice thing to do. "

    Yeah, how sweet of them to make other people offer some of their money for the less fortunate. Because you're too much of an asshole to help out other people of your own will, you need someone bigger than you to force you to. Maybe next they should make it a law you have to go change one old person's diaper every day.

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  39. yes no one ever woks in sub-optimal conditions unless they actively choose to

    nowhere in the world are people forced to work in horrible conditions for next to nothing or nothing at all

    literally everyone has actively chosen their lot in life and if you think differently your a communist baby-eater

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  40. Randall (a.k.a. "slowpoke"): Hmmm, I wonder what I should do a comic about? Minecraft is this new and hip thing, and despite knowing next to nothing about it, I'm sure I can please/sucker my goomhring forumites! I'll just throw it in with something unrelated as a reference to how COOL AND HIP I AM!

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  41. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    If people are being forced to work, then the issue we need to solve is slavery, not the slave owners paying their slaves too little.

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  42. Funny thing is, if you pay that little, you will not get any employees.

    maybe not for 5 cents a month, but you WILL get employees for much less than what is required for any kind of life YOU'd be willing to live.

    on the other hand, give people full freedom and they'll hire workers overseas for LITERALLY 5 cents a day, so all the quaint far-right americans end up without jobs, and hey, without health care! (because being a bitch to your job is so much better than being the government's bitch.)

    And if you do, hey, they agreed to work for it, so it's their own choice if they want to sell their labor so cheap.

    right, because the tens of millions of underqualified people who can only work low-paying jobs, and are only able to compete by accepting lower and lower wages, totally CHOOSE to have very little money!

    they chose to be unable to afford higher education!

    it's always amusing reading the far-right, even if it's a troll, because you know there's someone out there who thinks like this.

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  43. Maybe next they should make it a law you have to go change one old person's diaper every day.

    Well, they *have* made this law. Since it's not practical that every actual person do it, they accomplish it by having each person give a little bit of their resources to pay for someone who will change diapers in their stead.

    They pool these resources and pay a much smaller number of people to do it, thus achieving efficiency, e.g. by not having to transport the entire population to several old people's houses.

    From your preceding discussion I thought you would be aware of this law. Then again, your comments do not indicate that you're very good at reasoning.

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  44. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    "maybe not for 5 cents a month, but you WILL get employees for much less than what is required for any kind of life YOU'd be willing to live."

    That's still their choice to work for that little. And if you can't agree on the morals of it, then maybe you can agree on something less subjective. From an economic standpoint, minimum wage causes unemployment. It's simple supply and demand. Left to their own devices, supply intersects demand at a point called equilibrium, which determines the cost of a good or service. Of you place a price floor (minimum wage), then there'll be a gap between quantity demanded and quantity supplied. In simpler terms, there'll be more people who want the job for that price and fewer employers willing to pay it, which means a positive number of people who can't have that job, some of which would have had that job if the minimum wage hadn't been put into place.

    "right, because the tens of millions of underqualified people who can only work low-paying jobs, and are only able to compete by accepting lower and lower wages, totally CHOOSE to have very little money!

    they chose to be unable to afford higher education!"

    I could be wrong, but I believe anyone in America can go to college who wants to. There are scholarships, grants, loans. I certainly didn't have any money for college, but I still made it through.

    "...your comments do not indicate that you're very good at reasoning. "

    For example?

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  45. "I could be wrong, but I believe anyone in America can go to college who wants to."

    ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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  46. can't we all agree that everyone everywhere is some government's bitch

    except the governments of course

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  47. I got ham, but I'm not a hamsterFebruary 17, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    I too, would love to live in a world where those with well established capital can lord it over the lower classes, who have the freedom to choose to work for pennies or die. Oh nvm they already have that and it's called China

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  48. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    I think it's a fallacy to apply my minimum wage argument to a completely different economic system. I don't know enough about China to talk about it, but I believe my point holds water in America.

    I lawl'd at the name, btw.

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  49. Thumbs up if you think Obama is half Gay??

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  50. Does anybody remember when Hyperbole and a Half did a thing about wisdom teeth? It was better than this comic.

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  51. I got toes, but I'm not a toasterFebruary 17, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    People. let's focus on what really matters: this is a pathetic "I'm sooo drugfged!" comic, AND a pathetic "Minecraft OCD madness" comic.

    So boo.

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  52. "they chose to be unable to afford higher education!"

    I couldn't afford higher education, either. You know what I did? I worked hard in high school so I'd get the chance to GO to a good college. All of my tuition (and let me assure you, it was substantial) had to be covered with grants, loans, and scholarships.

    If people aren't going to college, it's not because they can't afford it.

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  53. From an economic standpoint, minimum wage causes unemployment.

    i'm glad you put your argument in simpler terms. it's really very simple-minded and not worth any fancy jargon.

    moreover it purports to show that minimum wage is a bad idea in any situation, which is bullshit. there are several nations where the upper classes have historically used their government posts to divert funds and planning to development of their own property, becoming massively rich and leading to a complete lack of infrastructure and educational opportunities.

    in such places the majority of people are trapped in poverty because they are forced by competition to work for next to nothing. creating or raising the minimum wage in these cases does nothing but slightly diminish the obscene profits of the rich. in several instances, especially south american nations, we have seen massive increases of the minimum wage in the past 10 or 15 years and a simultaneous increase in employment.

    maybe your argument would hold water in a utopia where everyone had all the opportunities ever and no one was ever discriminated against by employers. this is not the case of the usa.

    you should try your "anyone who wants to go to college, can" line in compton or the harlem.

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  54. OMG it really works! This is amazing!

    1. Add the girl of your dreams name to the bottom of this comment.
    2. Copy this to five other blogs in 20 minutes.
    3. Say her name then your name in a mirror 3 times.
    4. Your dream girl will be yours
    5. If you don't do this no-one will ever love you and your balls will fall off.

    MEGAN

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  55. If people aren't going to college, it's not because they can't afford it.

    i was going to write a response to this, but let me ask instead.

    why do you think there are underqualified people who can only work crummy jobs which they (and anyone with half a brain would) hate?

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  56. I got germs but I'm not a GermanFebruary 17, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    "Hate is like a maggot,
    Feeding off our dead,
    Love is like cockroach,
    Alive without a head.

    Life is like a joss-stick,
    It stinks and then it's over."

    Discuss.

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  57. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    You make an argument about other nations, and then conclude that my argument doesn't hold in the USA? Care to explain that?

    Tell me what would happen in the US right now if we did away with minimum wage.

    "why do you think there are underqualified people who can only work crummy jobs which they (and anyone with half a brain would) hate? "

    Because they chose to work harder later in life rather than sooner.

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  58. "...your comments do not indicate that you're very good at reasoning. "

    For example?


    Well, you made a sarcastic remark about changing old people's diapers which is such an obvious strawman that you're either a troll or quite stupid.

    It was like asking, "if you want the police so much, why don't you pass a law forcing everyone to fight crime?"

    In the words of Charles Babbage, I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

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  59. @I got sold, but I'm not a soldier

    If the US implements universal health care, just don't pay your taxes anymore. Problem?

    The government will go bankrupt. U Jelly sickfags?

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  60. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    @10:42
    I was just carrying the opposing line of reasoning to the extreme. If you're going to let the government force you to do good deeds, why stop at giving money? Just have them force you to all to be Mother Teresa.

    "If the US implements universal health care, just don't pay your taxes anymore. Problem?

    The government will go bankrupt."

    They have guns. They're also belligerent and numerous.

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  61. Shouldn't have given them money to afford a military.

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  62. WTF is this shit?

    This is a webcomic hate blog you fucking dolts.

    I'm not even going to read any of comments above because what I have to say is much more important.

    Why has SMBC been so shitty lately?! The last good strip was the superman job interview. Seriously! Some of them are even completely unintelligible. I demand much more of Zach Weiner.

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  63. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 11:05 AM

    "Shouldn't have given them money to afford a military."

    More likely we shouldn't have elected leftards.

    Wait a minute...

    Yoooouuuuu. Yoohoohoou. You're good. I see what you did thar.

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  64. You make an argument about other nations, and then conclude that my argument doesn't hold in the USA?

    i said your argument fails because it is too general. it doesn't mention any countries, so if it was cogent it would have to apply to any country, which it clearly doesn't.

    it is so shallow and general, in fact, that it smacks of someone who has only the most cursory acquaintance with elementary economics. is that you, randy?

    in my last paragraph i say what i think would be the extra premises required for your argument to work, and the usa does not satisfy them.

    Because they chose to work harder later in life rather than sooner.

    this is mind-numbingly retarded. people can't be said to make any real choices until they're at least teenagers, because they lack the relevant understanding of the world, and by then it has often become very hard to play catch-up. a kid in a low-quality public school can coast to 7th or 8th grade without barely being able to read.

    moreover you assume that "working hard" is all that is required to get out of crummy jobs, which is complete bullshit if you're a high school drop-out who's flipping burgers at 25 and has kids or sick parents to look after.

    it never ceases to amaze me how the far-right always assumes that people either don't have, or are unfazed by, any personal problems.

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  65. Speaking of retardly arguing for and/or against objectivest arguments procured from video games.

    How about that xkocd Minecraft comic u guise?

    What a turd, amirite?!

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  66. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    So we can't be held accountable for our actions until we turn 20? That's what's bullshit. Teenagers are plenty old enough to understand the consequences of dropping out of high school.

    You're right that it's harder for some people than others. I know a girl whose parents never let her go to school after 2nd grade and now she's 21 with no education. And that is a problem, but again, the solution isn't to force some company (which is owned by human beings, not a faceless entity) to hire her and pay her more than she's worth. That's just treating the symptoms, not the real problem. The problem is her lack of education, not the evil people who just want to get rich and keep everyone down.

    It never ceases to amaze me how the majority of people think that our problems can be solved by just taking money from the evil rich people and giving it to the innocent poor people. Stop watching Disney movies.

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  67. What's happening in the second panel? Looks like Randy's playing some pancake stacking game with his only friend, a plant.

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  68. "I managed to get to college even though I was poor. Therefore every poor person is able to get through college, they just choose not to because they're morally deficient."

    i like how the right tries to position itself as Christian. we all know how much Jesus hated charity. or maybe what he hated was the government's charity. that's probably Biblical.

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  69. I was just carrying the opposing line of reasoning to the extreme. If you're going to let the government force you to do good deeds, why stop at giving money? Just have them force you to all to be Mother Teresa.

    I understand what you were doing, which is why I labeled it trollish or stupid.

    The government is forcing everyone to do good deeds all the time. It is the only thing keeping the disadvantaged from disregarding your very abstract and arbitrary conceptions of owning certain objects and pieces of land. Make no mistake, it is quite a good deed for them to not organize and simply take it. They have nothing to gain by respecting your 'property'.

    But then, that's always been the right-wing pitch, hasn't it? Please respect my things while I fuck you up the ass.

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  70. I like how the left says stereotyping is bad, but then they stereotype the right. I'm pretty right, but I'm not a Christian.

    Also, stop acting knowledgeable. You don't know a damn thing about what Jesus wanted.

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  71. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    "or maybe what he hated was the government's charity."

    How is the government being charitable by taking other people's money and distributing it to who they see fit and pocketing a little for themselves on the side?

    @11:29
    Your constant need to assert that I'm stupid rather than provide an even remotely note-worthy argument makes you look like a fuckwad, which you are.

    So your point is that me not stealing your crap is the tantamount to me giving you a third of my paycheck? Yeah, you have lots of room to talk about a lack of reasoning skills.

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  72. what jesus really wanted was for white children to spread over all the world and kill progressivist traitors and brown people come one havent any of you even read the bible

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  73. Teenagers are plenty old enough to understand the consequences of dropping out of high school.

    i said UNTIL they are teenagers, by which time it is often too late. it's no wonder that someone barely able to read chooses not to sit through four more years of mostly incomprehensible and useless lectures.

    The problem is her lack of education, not the evil people who just want to get rich and keep everyone down.

    i'm not sure if you noticed, but most of the rich people are constantly trying to get out of funding education, or anything really.

    on top of this, there is the very curious modern institution of the open-capital companies, which are the largest and most powerful ones. this model of management essentially guarantees that the companies will do the most assholish thing possible within the law (in the name of the 'stockholders') and no one is really accountable.

    they really ARE faceless entities in this sense. they are owned by thousands of stockholders who never make any decisions, and are only used as justification.

    if you think that they are not out to squeeze you for everything you've got, it's you who should stop watching disney movies.

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  74. So your point is that me not stealing your crap is the tantamount to me giving you a third of my paycheck?

    My god, you really are dense. Your argument was that the government can't force anyone to do "good deeds", e.g. healthcare, otherwise why wouldn't it make everyone be Mother Teresa.

    I pointed out that the government already makes everyone do a lot of "good deeds", and you agree with these. Hence your initial argument was idiotic.

    My point does not depend in the slightest on whether a third-paycheck or not stealing are equivalent, much as your initial argument completely ignored whether paying a certain amount for universal healthcare was equivalent to turning into Mother Teresa.

    God, I'm done. All you Fountainhead-reading first-year economics students sound the same and cannot even keep your own arguments in your head.

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  75. Sold would be a great troll if he weren't so boring.

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  76. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    "i'm not sure if you noticed, but most of the rich people are constantly trying to get out of funding education, or anything really."

    I didn't ask them to fund education.

    "on top of this, there is the very curious modern institution of the open-capital companies, which are the largest and most powerful ones. this model of management essentially guarantees that the companies will do the most assholish thing possible within the law (in the name of the 'stockholders') and no one is really accountable.

    they really ARE faceless entities in this sense. they are owned by thousands of stockholders who never make any decisions, and are only used as justification.

    if you think that they are not out to squeeze you for everything you've got, it's you who should stop watching disney movies. "

    The goal of a business is to maximize profit. Let's not kid ourselves. Nobody starts a business to employ people and make the world a better place. You start a business to make money. Whether or not that's moral is debatable, but the government shouldn't be here to enforce someone's religious/moral beliefs. Separation of church and state is a good thing. And don't try to convince yourself that it's different just because you don't call it a church. You think companies should offer more benefits and money to people and you want the government to make them do it. That's the same thing as making people pray once a day.

    "I pointed out that the government already makes everyone do a lot of "good deeds", and you agree with these. Hence your initial argument was idiotic."

    Uhm, I did not. In no way do I think the government should force us to do good deeds. Makes it easy to look like you're a better debater when you decide for yourself what the other guys says, doesn't it?

    "God, I'm done. All you Fountainhead-reading first-year economics students sound the same and cannot even keep your own arguments in your head."

    Yeah, go cry, emo kid.

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  77. @Chiggy Chugga
    this is mind-numbingly retarded. people can't be said to make any real choices until they're at least teenagers, because they lack the relevant understanding of the world, and by then it has often become very hard to play catch-up. a kid in a low-quality public school can coast to 7th or 8th grade without barely being able to read.

    If you can't figure out that you'll need to read to go ANYWHERE in life, you don't deserve to be successful. And don't tell me the schools are at fault, either; there are enough books out there that you can learn to read on your own.

    moreover you assume that "working hard" is all that is required to get out of crummy jobs, which is complete bullshit if you're a high school drop-out who's flipping burgers at 25 and has kids or sick parents to look after.

    If you worked hard in the first place, you would've stayed in high school. If you drop out of school because you have kids, it's your own darn fault.

    And when we say "work hard," we don't mean "work hard at flipping burgers." That's stupid. We're talking about working hard OUTSIDE of your job so that you can open up new opportunities.

    it never ceases to amaze me how the far-right always assumes that people either don't have, or are unfazed by, any personal problems.

    It never ceases to amaze ME that unsuccessful people who whine about personal problems assume successful people don't have any.

    it's no wonder that someone barely able to read chooses not to sit through four more years of mostly incomprehensible and useless lectures.

    It's funny that only the unsuccessful people feel that way about school.


    @Femalethoth
    "I managed to get to college even though I was poor. Therefore every poor person is able to get through college, they just choose not to because they're morally deficient."

    No one said that or even implied it.

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  78. @Killers malquote: From an economic standpoint, minimum wage causes unemployment.

    I know first year economics is reaaaally exciting and afterwards you feel like you understand how the world works, but I advise you to either a) stop making a fool of yourself in public or b) take a second year course. Granted, both are possible, so that is an inclusive "or".

    I'm not going to explain the concept to you (see your options above), but I harvested a graph for you instead. I'm like Randall, except without a joke. OH WAIT.

    Keep telling yourself you have the same influence in the Job Market as Walmart.

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  79. In this thread: libertarians are dumb

    apparently this took 80 comments to work out?

    hell the alternative was talking about this xkcd comic so it's hardly a problem

    p.s. ravenzomg is still my favourite person

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  80. Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?!

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  81. (get it because that slogan's associated with conservatives, many of whom are literally ok with children starving to death and dying of easily treatable diseases because trying to fix that would be TAKIN AWAY ARE FREEDOMS)

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  82. GUYS
    I PREDICTED THIS
    I forget what comic it was on, but at some point I left a comment saying "gee, I'm surprised Randall hasn't done a minecraft comic yet." And here we are.

    And somehow he did it even LESS funny than I thought he would

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  83. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    I understand literally nothing on that graph. It's clearly just bullshit.

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  84. What is up with the red blotches?

    At first I thought it was lipstick or something, because he's all dopey and crazy. But now I see all the bloody tissues from the wisdom-tooth removal, and it seems like randall is trying to show that his mouth is bleeding, or that his wisdom teeth are.

    What the fuck, randall? Do your characters not have cheeks?

    ReplyDelete
  85. maybe in XKCDland "teeth" are just pieces of the featureless white spheres that are the characters' heads

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  86. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Anybody up for a game of I-took-at-least-one-class-level-higher-than-you-therefore-I-automatically-win-the-argument?

    ReplyDelete
  87. Fuckin' Economics, how they work?

    ReplyDelete
  88. Leftard vs Rightfag debates? On my hate blog? It's more likely than you might think!

    ReplyDelete
  89. I got hit, but I'm not a hitlerFebruary 17, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    I try to use first-level economics to make myself sound smart but as soon as economics disagrees with me it's all bullshit

    ReplyDelete
  90. I got raped, but I'm not a rapperFebruary 17, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Guys, Raven put Sold in his place. Let's all jump on the bandwagon and just paraphrase what she said!

    ReplyDelete
  91. I got bought, but I'm not a bottierFebruary 17, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    Economics is the Devil! Repent, Sinners!

    ReplyDelete
  92. I got jeans, but I'm not a genomeFebruary 17, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    Raven, could you explain the gist of the chart to me, please?

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  93. Hey guys what if we talked politics for a while for no fucking reason

    I mean what is the worst that could possibly happen

    As long as we can all agree that Obama is a Muslin Terrorist Brotherhood Egypt Caliphate Other Topical Phrases

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  94. @Ves

    I guess the worst that could happen is that we all get sold.

    Although I'm pretty sure none of us would become soldiers ... or hitlers ... or rappers.

    Now. More webcomic hate, less bioshock quotes.

    What the fuck does this sentence mean?

    "Exuberance: The satisfaction of realizing that 13-year-old you would be happy with how things turned out."

    ReplyDelete
  95. ExPuberance. Try harder to understand things next time.

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  96. I got sold, but I'm not a soldierFebruary 17, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    Yeah i'm sorry guys, tbh the only reason i make these comments is because i'm incredibly stupid and naive and also barely literate

    luckily im man enough to admit it right?????

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  97. @Anon1:18. I was writing it and it took a little longer than I thought, so I won't spam this thread any more than it has already been spammed.

    So I put it here in a non-sense blog for anyone interested in reading a slightly more thorough explanation of the Monopsony model and why Minimum Wage isn't just Communist Fascism [or whatever].

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  98. Ravenzomg wins ALL the levels in troll-slaying.
    And seriously, this is one of the funniest threads i've read for a while on this blog. I got sold has so many flaws in his arguments, and i live in australia, where people tend to be more centralized than the leftards and rightfags you seem to have in the States.

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  99. Is there any reason it was a Killers malquote, btw? Is "I got sold" his cunning commentary on the capitalist system or can he just not hear?

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  100. I got told, but I'm not a toddlerFebruary 17, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    AMEEEERRRRRIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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  101. 3:15
    much easier to just say someone has flaws than to actually point them out, eh? way to be a coward.

    ReplyDelete
  102. 3:28 are you saying 3:15 should've reposted Raven's entire page just to be extra super thorough.

    ReplyDelete
  103. no, it was too late by then.

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  104. As long as we can all agree that Obama is a Muslin Terrorist Brotherhood Egypt Caliphate Other Topical Phrases

    FINALLY someone who knows what they're talking about

    ReplyDelete
  105. I got moles, but I'm not a moesterFebruary 17, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Behold, brothers and sisters of the xkcdsuckery community, the second coming of the White Mole! From the Molehill of Fate, under the Valley of Worms it will come, and bring us the truth, the silence and the dark. From then on we shall all live among the dirt and our kinds, for we'll all be underground in peace and silence.

    THERE SHALL BE DIRT!

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  106. ITT:

    Americans bitching about how a government is trying to GOVERN them.

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  107. also, please note

    having a private corperation control you wages make you no less "free" then if the government did it themselves. the only "free" people in America are the very very few at the top, the rest of you are their bitch.

    atleast the government should be interested in maintaining a sustainable country instead of trading long term sustainability for short term profits.

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  108. Hey, fuckwad, private "corperations" don't control your wages. They set an asking price and you agree to work for that or don't. And the people at "the top" get fucked more than the rest of us by tax brackets.

    Now stop trying to keep this argument going.

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  109. "I want to stop arguing about this but that's not going to stop me from putting in my two cents but if you DARE respond to this you're an asshole SHUT UP SHUT UP I WIN NO TAPBACKS"

    ReplyDelete
  110. Lol @ lolbertarians in a webcomic hate blog

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  111. I got hips, but I'm not a hipsterFebruary 17, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    @ Anon 4:53 - The guys at the top get fucked more than the rest? Then doesn't that make them the guys at the bottom?
    ...Which means they get fucked least...which means they're the guys at the top...which means they get fucked most...which meansaaaaaaaaargggghhhh

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  112. 5:12, I probably don't agree with 4:53 about very much, politically speaking, but please do try to pass all your third grade literacy tests before agreeing with me, lest you make everyone who isn't on the far right look dumber.

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  113. I could have sworn that panel 4 wasn't originally in color. Am I wrong?

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  114. Obvious Minecraft JunkieFebruary 17, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    meanwhile, random nitpicking on the comic

    GODDAMMIT RANDY YOU ARE WIELDING A STONE PICKAXE
    WHY IS THERE AN IRON PICKAXE IN THE INVBAR
    WHYYYYYYYY

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  115. I think this is the first time where more effort was put into the comic than the review of it.

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  116. I really do feel sorry for all those millionaires who get taxed so much. I mean they COULD be BILLIONAIRES maybe. They get fucked so hard.

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  117. Yeah! How dare they have more money than me? It's not fair! Everyone should get paid the same! Blubber blubber!

    Come on, everyone! Let's keep it alive!

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  118. Holy shit this is a awesome debate.

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  119. /b/ how can you say that hardly anyone is calling everyone fags or retards or being ironically racist

    ReplyDelete
  120. @Ann: I'm not sure what you're asking, so let's all just bask in Brandon Flowers' magnificent voice .

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  121. @Obvious Minecraft Junkie

    Uh, because he's clearly not mining gold or redstone or anything like that and using a fancy iron pickaxe on dirt or stone would be wasteful.

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  122. @3:15 Oh God, don't get me started on Australia. You're happy to have communist health care but God forbid it should apply to dentistry? I mean, make up your minds.

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  123. And the people at "the top" get fucked more than the rest of us by tax brackets.

    I know! The rich get fucked SO HARD. I mean, look at poor Bill Gates! He wanted to buy the entire country of Belgium but the mean ol' government taxed him so hard now he can only afford Argentina. :(

    Meanwhile those lucky ducks in the ghetto get free school lunches! I mean...such injustice! How could ANYONE say the rich have it better off than the poor in the US?

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  124. Same bullshit argument, different asshole.

    You think just because the quantity's big enough, we can ignore what's actually happening. Everything just lost in the big numbers. If you make a hundred dollars and someone takes away fifty and your friend makes one dollars and someone takes a penny, you deserve to call that injustice. But of course you won't complain because you're the one with the dollar.

    Fucknut.

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  125. "ey, fuckwad, private "corperations" don't control your wages. They set an asking price and you agree to work for that or don't."

    hey mr. black man from 300 years ago, we are going to force you to work and there is nothing you can do about it, unless i mean, you have the choice to try to run, but you will probably die or starve.

    hey mr. current american worker, we are going to force you to work at this price, you can try to work for more but we won't accept those terms, i mean technically you can choose not to work for us at your minimm wage job, but with the current job market nobody else will take you and you will probably die or starve.

    odd, they both end the same.

    "And the people at "the top" get fucked more than the rest of us by tax brackets."

    jeez, i wish i had known that when i posted, i mean, it's not like i'm a commerce graduate or anything, and it's not like they didn't teach me a million friggin' ways to not pay nearly as much in taxes as the poor plebs at the bottom.

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  126. Yeah, you're right, someone getting fifty dollars taken away and still having fifty dollars is WAY worse than someone having a dollar and having a penny taken from it. I mean, it's not like fifty dollars is FIFTY TIMES MORE MONEY than the 99 cents! Oh wait, 99 cents is less than an actual dollar, so over fifty times. Nope, it makes way more sense to take only ten dollars from that one hundred and ten cents from the one dollar. That way one guy can keep 90 dollars and the other can keep 90 cents! That's WAY more fair, because the person who needs the money more has less of it!

    ..wait.

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  127. @ Anon 9:12

    making sure that people have enough money to live? your obviously crazy, and most likely a comunist!

    ReplyDelete
  128. Apparently the whole narcotics episode is based in Randall's life. ...I thought wisdom teeth removal was generally done before age 20? Or is that not a thing?

    also, official news: [Comic delayed by Minecraft; will be posted soon]

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  129. I don't know how long you've been asleep, but nobody actually forces anyone to work for them in the US, dumb shit. If you make too little money from company X, don't fucking work for them. If that means you starve, well, guess what. You also would have starved if company X didn't exist.

    And don't give me that shit about the person needs more gets less of it. If he needs it more, he can go earn his own damn hundred dollars. Once again, if he'd starve without the money from the guy who earned $100, he's also starve if that guy hadn't made that money for himself.

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  130. You know how libertarian rhetoric is frequently so similar to communist rhetoric applied to government instead of capitalism? I don't mean the watered down fringe-dwelling twaddle that passes for communist rhetoric today, I mean the ORIGINAL communist rhetoric from those heady days when people thought there was a better world to be made and it would be made by reinstating the will of the people that had been sapped by the bourgousie. Now that will is apparently being sapped by a government that taxes the rich to remove incentive from the poor.

    For those who don't know, I'm pointing this out as a gift to you. It lets you be super smug in internet debates. Everybody knows that when it comes to internet debates, neither side of the argument ever wins. It's the smug guy who offers no real opinion that wins.

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  131. I give the award for best poster here to the second 9:29 guy.

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  132. If you make too little money from company X, don't fucking work for them.

    I feel like libertarians live in the world of The Simpsons. "What kind of country is this? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?"

    If he needs it more, he can go earn his own damn hundred dollars.

    I like how somehow the poor choose to be poor in the libertarian's world. Because being poor is so awesome and has so many benefits! Like wondering how you're going to pay for food for the month. That's an ADVENTURE! Life is exciting! Those boring rich people with their routine, always eating three meals a day, paying their bills on time...that's for suckers. Being poor is where the excitement is.

    Anyway it's always fun to wonder if people really are this stupid, or just trolling. Because I fail to see how having fifty times as much money as someone else is a horrible injustice. I mean to me, only a troll could say that living a life of semi-luxury was far worse than living a life of abject poverty.

    Why are we even talking about this? Shouldn't we all be directing our hatred to xkcd? Like 862. Wait is 862 even up yet?

    ...

    ...hmm. Well. That's...that's a comic all right. Can't go wrong with a Star Wars reference I suppose. Geeks always eat that shit up.

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  133. They're thinking of it like this: If I find someone suffering from cancer and I kind of poke them really hard, vs if I find a perfectly healthy man and kick him in the balls several dozen times: Who've I hurt more?

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  134. Dammit Rob this is what happens when you don't mention Megan

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  135. @Ravenzomg: wisdom teeth removal is done whenever they become a problem. For some people, this may be never.

    I've had two wisdom teeth removed, both after (but close to) twenty. The first one was horrible; its position was so weird that they had to make bone cuts to get it out. I was on very heavy duty painkillers for two weeks after that. The other one was in straight, and it basically stopped hurting a few hours after they took it out.

    I'm 29 now, and I still have two wisdom teeth left. One is about halfway through and the other's not coming through at all. I leave them in now, but my dentist has said that it will probably be better to remove them at some point.

    862 is actually a fairly clever subversion of expectations. I'm sure I'll grow to hate it with time, though. The alt text is stupid, anyway.

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  136. I dislike how people say "I like how..." or even "I love how..." when they don't. Needless sarcasm just clouds the issue.

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  137. i find Libertarians are only Libertarians because they think it makes them hardcore / badass when they look at a homeless person and say "tough shit, it was yer own fault!"

    fact is i have the unfortunate condition of being an existentialist and even i can agree that many problems today are systemic in nature, and that poor man probably didn't do anything to deserve where he is...... and could also probably use a sandwich, or atleast a quarter.... asshole.

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  138. @ Anon 10:32

    Hmm. Fair enough, though I think a more apt analogy would be punching a perfectly healthy person in the face vs. beating the cancer patient with a spiked bat.

    It's just simple logic. If a person has more, they can give more. If a person has less, they can't give as much. Have the people that can afford to give a little more, do so.

    But see for some reason most libertarians think that when you say "the rich should give more" it's somehow automatically wealth redistribution. I don't understand the logic behind that. I (and I'd wager most others) aren't saying to make everyone have the same amount of money. I don't give a shit if someone has ten billion dollars, so long as those who have less than that are living at least somewhat comfortably.

    To use the example brought up earlier, I'm not saying "Hmm, you have a hundred dollars and you have one dollar. So you must give forty-nine dollars and fifty cents to the person with one dollar so you're both equal." That's stupid and doesn't solve a damn thing. I'm not even saying that the rich should give their money directly to the poor, that isn't gonna solve anything either. But the rich can pay higher taxes, which would help fix up schools, roads, public transportation, etc. that can improve quality of life for the poor AND the rich alike. I mean it's not like rich people don't also drive on public roads or use the services of the fire department and water services. It's not "Hey take all these rich people's money and give it all to these poor people" like some sort of government Robin Hood. But for some reason if you even talk about raising their taxes to like 5% they speak like you're some sort of evil socialist out to make everyone have the same amount of money and wealth redistribution and fuck I don't even know.

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  139. I think 5 percent would be lowering taxes for most people who pay them at all.

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  140. 10:32 here who was actually ScottMcTony but was at the time too lazy to type out my name.

    I'm no (longer a) libertarian with regards to economics, though I think my version of the analogy works from a sole standpoint of justice as defined by most libertarians. I just think that a small amount of that manner of justice is worth sacrificing for all the other shit.

    Oh and, to be fair, that is a definition that's more consistent with how people use the word justice when talking about most things that aren't taxes.

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  141. I did not make the link with star wars until reading Nate's post. I had (and still have) no idea what that grey box is in the last panel. But then again i'm not xkcd's target audience so i guess its an ok comic- some vague effort in the art this time.

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  142. @ anon 1:19AM

    A critique of relevent subject matter in OUR hijacked thread about politics and economics?

    begone!

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  143. Some people here are forgetting that it's impossible for the rich to get richer without a bunch of dumbfucks to kick in the nuts and sell their pain for profit. If everybody was in a position to be as successful than they were, it wouldn't mean that everybody would be that successful. The extra competition would simply mean that more people would be overqualified for the position that they end up in.

    And, frankly, it's to their benefit that the labouring populace is healthy enough to continue labouring and doesn't get pissed off enough to mob the rich and rip their fucking throats out. You should be happy to continue paying your high taxes even if it means you can't afford a second limousine because, trust me, it is ultimately to the benefit of you hoity toity cocksuckers.

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  144. Comic 862: What a jumbled mess!

    That'll be all, you can go back to your politi-nuts debate now.

    CAPTCHA: ponzhime. Lol.

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  145. I'm giving Randall a pass for this comic because I like the idea of CNN's big news being "Bees?" and "Where IS Oman???"

    That and he was actually subtle with his joke for once. I didn't get the SW reference the first time because, like anon119, I have no idea what that box was. I thought somebody was working in an industrial chimney with a computer or something.

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  146. I like the way that Oman is one of the few mid-east countries which ISN'T really massively in the news at the moment

    I guess it could be "LOL not only are CNN so dumb they don't know where some middle-eastern countries is they don't even know the right middle-eastern country!" but if so that's really labouring the point

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  147. Oh, fuck you idiots. You just ignore the issues and boo hoo about how bad it is to be poor and ignore the actual arguments. The rich don't get rich by stealing from poor people. They get rich by selling them things. If you want to stick it to the man, the answer is not taxing the shit out of him, because he ALREADY pays more than you even with the same tax percentage. Just don't buy his stuff.

    It's also funny to note that most people would be happier to have a rich person have his money taken away and themselves stay the same, rather than the rich stay rich and they also gain more money (which is what happens when you lower taxes). It's just like children who don't want the cookie so much as they want the other kid to lose his cookies. Childish.

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  148. that's because you're arguing with leftards, 6:20. they rely solely on emotional appeals rather than rational.

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  149. Someone please write a review or something of the new comic so we can put this thread to rest.

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  150. @2:17

    Just changing the word he's defining doesn't make the sentence that follows it less retarded.

    Try harder next time.

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  151. I thought 862 was actually humorous. Maybe it's nerd pandering, but I still laughed. Alt text was shit though.

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  152. Also the American Elite are leftist, Zionist Jews who instill white guilt and "politically correctness" to the masses to keep down the hard working whites (who made this country by the way!). They introduce multiculturalism and diversity to eradicate the Aryan culture, thus leaving Jewsrael as the leading world power. All this evidence came from a website I read, which also drew from a single, and COMPLETELY UNBIASED study.

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  153. thought the new comic was funny and original - even the losers get lucky sometimes.

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  154. The next person to post something politically-based here is a homosexual. And that's just wrong.

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  155. Rob is funny because I am on a drug.

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  156. Also, the SMBC someone was confused about appears to be referencing this slightly earlier SMBC:

    http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2153#comic

    In addition, he spelled exuberance exPuberance. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

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  157. Speaking of other comics, has anyone read C&H lately? I remember a handful of funny ones from way back when, but now they're nearly all horrendously bad.

    I did think the onomatopoeia one was kind of funny, though.

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  158. I don't think it's referencing an earlier comic. He just has batgirl on the brain lately.

    (Moar liek batgirl on the loins, AMIRITE!)

    My rage at SMBC for the past week was soothed by today's comic which is slightly better than mediocre.

    And yes, the past couple C&H comics are in a total slump (hitler & dead babies = insta-hilarity, always). But I did get at least a raised eyebrow out of the heat seeking missile.

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  159. It's also funny to note that most people would be happier to have a rich person have his money taken away and themselves stay the same, rather than the rich stay rich and they also gain more money (which is what happens when you lower taxes).

    Whelp that's it then folks, discussion's over. Can't argue with that kind of flawless logic.
    Because the golden shower that reaganomics brings upon the less wealthy not only works beautifully, it also does nothing bad to the deficit ever.

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  160. Please shut up. This is the Internet; nobody cares about your political opinions.

    Captcha: chenteeze. Don't chenteeze me, bro.

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  161. Dammit Ves ... there are better ways to promote your gay pride.

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  162. 50 years ago, any job was seen as respectable. A gas station attendant, for example, made enough to support his family. It wasn't glamorous, but he never had to worry about starving or finding a home to live in.

    I wonder what happened to those days? Today, it seems anyone without a college education is a worthless piece of shit that doesn't deserve a living wage.

    Current minimum wage is $7.25. 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, that's $15,080 (before taxes). As a reference point, the legal poverty line in the US for a family of 4 is $21,756.

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  163. you know who else thought people should shut up and stop arguing about politics? Hitler.

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  164. Hahahaha it's funny because Rob is a lazy asshole.

    Fat too.

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  165. Charles Augustus FortescueFebruary 18, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    In the past, full employment was a possibility. Now we have machines to do a lot of the work, creating unemployment, which drives down wages and results in jobs that don't pay enough to live on properly.

    The answer is not to smash the machines, of course. It is to adjust the way society works so that everyone can benefit from the leisure they afford us. We haven't really been able to do that, unfortunately.

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  166. @Capn: I was going to go spread my gayness and destroy the american family by breaking into their house and having gratuitous anal sex in front of the parents and children but this seemed easier.

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  167. Gasman.. Good.. I'm glad that I don't have to spend cash on the product AND support someone's family when I can do the job myself.

    Back to XKCD... Holy Shit the current one sucks. So in a galaxy a long time ago and far, far away, they also had Reddit, CNN, and Facebook? Was there a need for a Star Wars joke shoehorned into the end?

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  168. You see what happens when you don't write a review Rob? Do you see now?

    Just assholes.

    Assholes everywhere.

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  169. speaking of assholes the latest goatkcd isn't a new classic but it's still p. funny

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  170. Obvious Minecraft JunkieFebruary 18, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    @scottmctony
    I'm commenting on the fact that there's an iron pickaxe in the invbar, yet there's a stone pickaxe in his hand. I'm not here to debate the best tool tier to use for each task (personally, I care for speed and strength more than efficiency, so usually I bust out the iron and diamond - it's not like there's STACKS AND STACKS OF IRON where I mine :P). I'm just berating him on the fact that HE FAILS AT CONSISTENCY ONCE AGAIN.

    captcha: gotolstr - and be eaten by a velociraptor
    Also I ignore redstone now most of the time because I get TOO DAMNED MUCH of it, and it takes about four-five times as long to mine as other ores. Seriously, I can fill chests with the redstone I find. That's ridiculous.

    @9:03
    and hitler didn't promote capitalism either

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  171. Obvious Minecraft JunkieFebruary 18, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    wait - derp

    the captcha thing was supposed to be at the end
    dammit D:

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  172. Best comic in a long time (862).

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  173. Bullshit, 6:20, it has nothing to do with "sticking it to the man." It's about staying alive. Business doesn't give a damn about the long-term social impact of their actions until it's too late. They'll instinctively exploit their workforce to the full extent that they are able to keep profits as high as possible, and given the opportunity they will collectively grind their people down to dust and then wonder why they can't get any decent workers. That's why a government is required to impose regulations and ensure a basic standard of living. Because without a functional workforce, business collapses.

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  174. No, fuckwit. You're wrong. When businesses do well, the economy does well. Without businesses, the economy collapses. The more fucking government regulations there are, the less incentive to take the risk of starting a business. So what do you think that will do to the economy?

    Use your fucking brain for once in your life, dipshit.

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  175. Anyone against government control in business should remember that before the FDA and food regulations, businesses could and did put anything into food to save a quick buck. And since companies weren't required to list ingredients or have safety qualities, you didn't know you were eating bad food until the e-coli set in.
    But fuck morals, it's all about buying that 7th car.

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  176. Good point. Except the last sentence.

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  177. Why do a lot of people seem to think everyone in a position of greater wealth or power than them (excluding important government officials, apparently) is a misanthropic sociopath who would stab their mother for a nickel and probably just for fun.

    Humans instinctively want to see other humans being happy and healthy. That's not to say anarchy or even minarchy are necessarily superior systems - in fact it's probably one of the things that allow a democracy to exist. It's just a reason 5:31 is retarded.

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  178. @ 8:31 PM

    No fuckwit, your first year economics class theory won't fucking work here.

    the more you grind the working force down, the less money they have to spend back into the economy.

    Take walmart for example. they are able to keep rediculously low labour costs by making sure that Unions stay out of their store. in order to compete other businesses in the industry are trying to bargain for similer wages. Walmart is forcing wages of workers down acrost all busineses of their industry. the result is much less money entering the economy.

    When workers get paid well, they buy things, and when those busineses they buy things from do well, they should pay their workers well, because when those workers are paid well, THEY buy things and HOLY FUCK WE HAVE JOBS

    where does government intervention come in? well allow yourself to take the time to step out of your rudementry knowledge and into the wonderful world of Keynesian Economics. gone are the strict power based models, replaced with emphasis on the important of public sector control, including fiscal and monetary policy.

    also, as a side note. i love you crazy americans. you have no idea of what it means to be living within your governments borders. you are citicens, you have rights as well as obligations and duties to the state. you will play nice and do as your told by the government or you can get the fuck out of their country.

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  179. "Humans instinctively want to see other humans being happy and healthy."

    Not really.

    We do want to see other human beings happy and healthy... granted we KNOW these human beings. Your mom? Sure. Your brother? Hell, yea! Your old elementary school best friend? Probably. Hundreds of children dying of starvation and overheating in Africa? You'll shrug it off as easy as you can say "meh".

    You can actively try to care about these people outside of your sphere of acquittance(that's called empathy, I suppose), but instinctively we only care for our family group. The other family groups can die in a fire, especially because, instinctively speaking, they're competition.

    CAPTCHA: picrout. Gotta love these captchas that sort of look like a word, but obviously aren't. :)

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  180. Nothing is certain except for death and taxes.

    Personally, if I'm gonna be taxed, I can't think of a better thing for that money to fund than healthcare.

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  181. Pro Mole

    You are kind of really stupid and don't know what you are talking about at all.

    That is all

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  182. Hey, hey guys, hey

    Which side of the political debate am I

    Opinionated statement, insult, opinionated statement, fuckwit, go back to econ class, opinionated statement.

    I'm both do you get it

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  183. Humans instinctively want to see other humans being happy and healthy.

    Not really true. It is true to the extent that we have evolved to instinctively exercise traits that will prevent us from being ostracized by our social group. However, "social group" doesn't extend to all of humanity, it really only means about 30 people (the size of the packs we lived in as hunter-gatherers for thousands of years). Anyone beyond our immediate circle, evolutionarily speaking, is background noise. What we've tried to do ever since we decided bigger groups = better groups (ie since the invention of agriculture) is stretch that principle of rational compassion to everyone. Societally, compassion towards everyone you meet and everyone you don't is encouraged, but instinctually it's simply not there. If it was there would be no need for parents to teach their children manners and respect towards strangers, thievery would be nonexistent, and religion wouldn't waste so much time trying to encourage model behavior.

    If an articulate, nonconfrontational response is too much for y'all motherfuckers to handle, though...

    TL;DR
    NO U R RETARD

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  184. There is no evolution.

    Other than that, good point.

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  185. Oh, yes, I forgot that important thing about trying to reply an internet discussion with an articulate response: don't do it, people are idiots and will just ignore you and insult you without any sort of backing up as to why you're wrong.

    TL;DR see you in the next comic's post. Rob, why do you need to be such a lazy glob of lard?

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  186. Professional Mole said:

    ".....people are idiots and will just ignore you and insult you without any sort of backing up as to why you're wrong......"

    'people are idiots' - agreed.
    'and will just ignore you and insult you' - unless 'ignoring' is 'insulting' the two are mutually exclusive events. Perhaps you should have used 'or' rather than 'and' as the conjunction there. Oh and your first 'and' should be replaced with the word 'who' - only sayin' is all.

    'without any sort of backing up' - 'backing up'?

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  187. Humans instinctively want to see other humans being happy and healthy.

    That's an interesting theory. Let's try an example and see if it works.

    Imagine there is a convicted child rapist. You're not allowed to kill him, but you have two options. Both options will completely cure his pedophilia, and turn him into a normal member of society, who will never touch another child. The first option is pleasant to him, and will make him feel happy and wonderful. The second option is horrendously tortuous, and painful beyond belief.

    Again, both treatments are guaranteed to cure him. Which treatment will you pick? I'd be willing to bet most people would pick the second option, which kind of flies in the face of the whole "Humans instinctively want to see other humans happy" thing.

    Another fun addition to the experiment is to say that the one that will feel pleasant to the criminal will cure him completely, and the painful and tortuous is not 100% guaranteed to succeed. It seems as long as there is around a 50% or higher chance of success for the painful method, most people will still pick it over the pleasant method.

    Which again...kind of disproves the whole "Humans want to see other humans happy" statement.

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  188. Nate said:

    "....Both options will completely cure his pedophilia, and turn him into a normal member of society,....."

    This statement presupposes that 'normal members of society' are not pedophiles.
    Are you sure?

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  189. Hmm, okay, fair enough. Worded poorly on my part. It should be changed to "will not molest children again." In fact, whether or not his pedophilia would be cured is inconsequential, I was just trying to convey that he wouldn't sexually abuse children after the treatment.

    Since most people consider pedophilia to be an aberration, that's pretty much why I said "normal member of society." But yeah, you're right to call me out on that.

    I also realize that in the first instance, most people will probably say that the painful treatment is preferable because of a sense that the criminal must pay for his crimes, and that is more important than seeing him happy. It's not a perfect example, I'll be the first to admit, though adding a chance of failure to the painful method I think does make the example a bit stronger (especially if you set the success rate of being cured lower than 50%).

    And of course you have to ignore the fact that in the real world, you could probably give the guy the death penalty (but pretty much all hypothetical situations have a flaw like this). If anyone can think of a better example I'm all for it.

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  190. Nate said:

    "....Since most people consider pedophilia to be an aberration...."

    Are you sure?

    I do not question your wording. I question your definition of 'normal' and your unsubstantiated presumption of the prevalences and benign nature of 'normal'.

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  191. Aquarians, public opinion is against pedophilia, so stop bitching about how you can't molest small children.

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  192. Actually she can Roman Candle.
    She's an MSF doctor.

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