Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Comic 9001: Rejected Early Draft

[Today's entry comes from noted monster "r." -Ed.]

milk

31 comments:

  1. This is funnier than 93.5% of xkcds

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    1. Three significant figures. That's fucking brave. I hope you have data to prove this.

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  2. This is so sexy.

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  3. Finding people to work with is the easiest thing in the world... If you have to pay them, creatives usually underprice themselves. I once had a guy write for me in a game contest on the promise of a $10 Chili's gift card if the game won the $100,000 prize.

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    1. "......Finding people to work with is the easiest thing in the world... ...."

      Finding cunts with whom to work who abide the rules of The Queen's English is the hardest thing in the world.

      You are an unlettered and probably innumerate cunt R. And no mistake.

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  4. I'm scorning the cultural perversion—where a man who actually did the right thing, that is, restrained himself when under assault, gets fired for committing a lesser offense of racist grievance, and his original virtuous behavior goes unacknowledged. Instead of shooting her dead, he exhibited self-control, and was racist in response.

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    1. Rob, your micro-fiction is getting worse.

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    2. Rob, your dissociative identity disorder is getting worse.

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  5. As a National Socialist, I'm also really disgusted by Cumia's hatred for the poor. You can say it's just a bit, I only think part of it is. But even so, no one says the shit he does on TV or radio or really even outside of Stormfront. It's refreshing. I think there's a lot more racists in this country then you think. It's quite a growing set of ideas -- and to brush off off ideas of racism as undeserving is just a dick move.


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    1. That's what sheJuly 5, 2014 at 6:45 AM

      More than you think, you dickshit.

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    2. That's what sheJuly 5, 2014 at 6:47 AM

      The word "than" was meant to be bold. The word "dickshit" was meant to be brown.

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    3. Every word in the comments is bold, turdburglar. The word "dickshit" is brown because I smeared it with fæces.

      Think about that. Get a good picture in your head, That's what she, of a 32 year old man, 300 lb., stinking of BO, shoving his finger up his ass and picking out rancid poop, then rubbing it across the screen. Across your words. The little irregular brown specks. The earthy stench. The faint smell of bloody piss. Really get a good picture.

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    4. If someone had broken into your home, I would first ask you if you were hurt and how to help. That's the very first thing I would do. If you then say "I did everything I could to prevent it!" and I notice you left the door unlocked, I'll point that out.

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    5. "........and I notice you left the door unlocked, I'll point that out......."

      And after you bring to my attention this oversight, I would inform you that only illiterate cunts use phrasal verbs. And only fucking illiterate cunts split an already vile phrasal verb with a demonstrative pronoun.
      Phrasal verb: point out
      Demonstrative pronoun: that

      AND Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which Sir Winston and I will not put.


      Rob?
      Who is this fucking arsewhole Cuntribbit?

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    6. he is less a person and more a vehicle for locating and repeating the vilest things on the internet

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    7. A vehicle or a conduit?
      If a vehicle, meh, I's not interested, but if a conduit, well, maybe we should talk.

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    8. conduit does seem more apt, though I'm not sure precisely how much more apt. I'm not sure if aptness even has a sliding scale on which things can be measured.

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    9. It never fails!
      Every conversation we have Rob always converges on your obsession with Logical Relevance no matter the topic with which it starts. This time you sneak in a thinly disguised reference to the sliding scale of aptness as it pertains to deductive question-answering. Answers should not be considered either absolutely true or false in relation to a question but should be considered true more flexibly in a sliding scale of aptness.
      For instance, I can reason rigorously about the appropriateness of an answer to a question, such as, "Is Rob a cunt"? Incomplete, inconsistent or error-prone answers to this query can be evaluated through a regimen of logical relevance to determine if any given answer is in fact an answer to that question.

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    10. one can argue that there is no true answer to that question.

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    11. One may argue that the world is dodecahedral, it doesn't necessarily mean the argument thereto advanced to support that premise is valid - or indeed if the premise itself is valid.

      "Rob is an effably cunctating cunt"

      Can this declarative be verified as a truism if true?
      Alternatively, can this declarative be proven false if not true?
      Statements are indeed meaningless if they cannot be either verified or falsified.

      "There is a Heaven"

      This is not a valid statement. Although, if true, it can be verified - at least by those who end up there - but the statement lacks falsifiability. If it is false it cannot be proven to be so.
      Accordingly, Christopher Hitchens by now does not know he was right all along.. Pope John Paul II by now does not know that he was wrong all along.
      Nyuck, the fuck nyuck!
      Accordingly, your statement, "one can argue that there is no true answer to that question." is an invalid statement. It can neither be verified nor falsified. In short, it's a cuntingly fuct statement.


      And if you don't like unicorns you're a fag!

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    12. are you casting doubt on the fundamentally hexagonal nature of reality? for shame.

      Delete
  6. I'm proud of Randy for finally being self-deprecating.

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  7. A nostalgic look back

    R. December 21, 2009 at 3:25 PM
    Is there a way to ban Aquarians?

    Aquarians Love To Fuck December 21, 2009 at 4:27 PM
    R. said:
    "...Is there a way to ban Aquarians?..."
    Now this looks like a job for me
    So everybody, just follow me
    Cause we need a little, controversy
    Cause it feels so empty, without me
    I said this looks like a job for me
    So everybody, just follow me
    Cause we need a little, controversy
    Cause it feels so empty, without me
    "[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic."
    Innit?

    Aquarians Love To Fuck December 21, 2009 at 4:50 PM
    If that establishment cunt Eminem isn't to your taste, how 'bout some The Clash?
    Should I stay or should I go now?
    Should I stay or should I go now?
    If I go there will be trouble
    An’ if I stay it will be double
    So come on and let me know!
    Innit?

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    1. *neckbeard
      *fedora
      *misguided sense of chivalry (milady)
      *dull grasp of yemen
      *ponies


      Did i miss anything?

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  8. Did you know that hot can also mean hot?

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  9. In the future, one out of every six people will be YOU.

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