1071. Maybe someone out there is excited by the portrayal of exoplanets as uninteresting brownish circles, but I am not. D
1072. Randy, you have already used this exact joke before. F
1073. I think Randy just saw this SMBC and decided to get in on the hot Garfield joke action. This one is mostly interesting because the forums seem to think that Randy is somehow suggesting some new interesting profound thought, where it seems clear to me he's mostly just saying he thinks is absurd. C-
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
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he thinks what is absurd? himself?
ReplyDeleteAre the forumites really saying this is profound? I had this idea when I was in elementary school. In fact, I think I stole this idea from an episode of Doug.
ReplyDeletealso, I do not care for SMBC at all, but look at how quickly Zach Weiner got his kickstarter funded. I have no idea if this is a good thing or not. probably, in the long term
ReplyDeleteWe're a few decades before the fall of the Western Empire. By this time in any empire, the idle owning classes seem to almost deliberately throw their spare money at the least socially useful things.
DeleteIt's not a donation, but a purchase. You get a digital copy for if you pledge over $10 and a paper one too if you pledge more than $20.
DeleteIt's still pretty scary a shitty webcomic can make 1200 sales in 3 (?) days. I think that implies SMBC has close to 100k daily unique visitors.
Hey now, SMBC has some gold, updates very frequently, and it's not nearly as pretentious as xkcd.
DeleteHI ZACH
DeleteSMBC does have some gold, there are some good ones. There are also terrible ones and ones that are kind of middling.
DeleteBut it's in full colour and it's never reached those higher echelons of shit like xkcd.
BUT IT HAS COLOR
Delete1071. This is what the Hugo is for, right? Ability to draw and shade circles? Plus, he has his usual "the world is amazing" trite message, which rings hollow when you realise the meaningless act he's used to demonstrate it with.
ReplyDelete1072. You know, deflating a punchline isn't actually funny unless it's taken to a funny conclusion. And that final panel just isn't.
1073. I think Randall's trying to make a smug point about how he doesn't actually work and is therefore enlightened (his usual "break out of your cubicles" nonsense), but the nature of life is that you have to work. Even if you're a hermit in a cave somewhere, presumably you have to sweep out that cave and scrounge for food. And, because people are social, they want to have their weekends at roughly the same time.
The nature of socialism is that you have to work. A capitalist is quite OK with the idea that, as long as you have money, you can sit on your ass all day and contribute nothing.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I went there.
Eff'n yo' doesn't like th' way we live in 'merica yo' kin jest getcher dirty commie ass outta hyar!
DeleteBut capitalism is based in the idea that you _have_ to work to get money... if you didn't, then yeah, that'd be great, but it requires extreme luck or skill. The vast majority of people need to work for money, as opposed to living under a society where the "nature" is that you have to work but the reality is that there is no mechanism to enforce this.
DeleteLOL! Vid, you think shareholders have to work in order to get the profits their companies make? Capitalism means you can profiting from someone else's work just because you own the capital.
Delete-
The whole point of a Capitalist economy is the possibility of making the right investments on the stockmarket and then gain steady income without ever having to work again in your whole life.
@Vid, no it isn't, don't be stupid.
DeleteCapitalism = private ownership of the means of production through the accumulation of *capital* = obviate need to work.
Even though capitalism has been a miserable failure and hasn't really existed in any recognisable form for about a century now, you could at least not sully its one virtue: it recognises man's laziness.
I wish this site was funny or interesting. Quite often XKCD is one or the other.
ReplyDeletenot in the last five years or so, to be fair
DeleteHI RANDALL
DeleteI like this HI stuff. I hope it stays around, it's good.
DeleteHI JOHN
DeleteRon Paul 2012
ReplyDeleteHI RON
DeleteDoes anybody here remmenber the last time they laughed at this blog?
ReplyDelete-
I miss ravenZOMG reviews.
"I miss ravenZOMG reviews."
Delete+1
this blog was once a clique of second rate IT drones and emos. ravenz i guess was ok because she didn't think much of herself, but some of the rest were absurdly impressed with their own minds. a circlejerk of people who hate xkcd is no better than a circlejerk of those who love it.
Deleteat least those who post now - in articles as well as comments - have no sense of self-importance or self-righteousness.
Yeah, we're so much better than the old audience.
Delete"....Maybe someone out there is excited by the portrayal of exoplanets as uninteresting brownish circles, but I am not....."
ReplyDeletePerhaps if they were portrayed as wrinkly brownish circles, would you be excited and your interest piqued?
Or bleached perhaps?
This reads like pure me!
DeleteWho the hell are you?
Me.
DeleteNo, no. I am me. Nobody else is.
DeleteAlternate answer: YOU LYING SLUT, IT'S THE BELT FOR YOU!
NEW TOPIC: Get rid of anonymous posting, or mod away shit posts? Discuss.
the only person with mod powers on this blog is Carl and he is living it up on the ad money in the Bahamas
DeleteWe should go kneecap him.
DeleteI can never relate to someone who doesn't have an interest in the discovery of planets.
ReplyDeleteIf they discovered fucking Vulcan, I'd be excited.
DeleteSeventeenth
ReplyDeleteWhen we were driving home, we saw all kinds of bizarre things that were totally out of place. Like right in the median strip, some businessman sitting on his briefcase with blood all over his pants and a tourniquet. A bunch of black guys surrounding some young couple who looked like tourists literally ripping the woman's clothes off one piece at a time. A homeless guy by the edge of Sunset Boulevard holding a cardboard sign reading "REPENT NOW OR BE DAMNED TO HELL." People running everywhere with shopping carts piled high with groceries or possessions. The smoke forced us to close the car ventilation intakes and circulate the air inside.
ReplyDeleteWe stopped at all the red lights until I realized that very few people were and if we sat in place like this we might get rear ended. I was trying to keep my wife from losing it by staying in control myself, but I was having a really hard time convincing myself I was not dreaming. I kept thinking, this is one of those vivid dreams where something so incongruous will happen I will realize it is a dream and suddenly things will be inconsistent and irrational and then I will awaken. I thought there would be riots down in South Central like Watts and they might be bad but there is no way this could have happened to the entire city like this so quickly. That's what I was thinking.
When we pulled into our driveway off Martin Way it is like I was suddenly seeing with new eyes. Our home was right on Sunset Boulevard, close to an alley that accessed a main road on both sides. That was not a good place to be during the apocalypse. It's like my eyes had X-ray vision when we unlocked our front door. We were completely exposed in our one level flat, our door was made of a composite of cardboard fibers and lots of glue. Any man over 200 lbs could probably just tear the door off the frame. It suddenly occurred to me I lived in a fishbowl with full length windows in the front yard. Like most people this just had not struck me as something important until right at that moment. I had been sleepwalking through my entire life.
The first thing my wife did was to rush over to the television and turn it on. I got my Desert Eagle out of the cupboard and I immediately made a tour of the entire house checking to see if all the windows and doors were locked. Then I came back to the living room and sat briefly with my wife watching the news, just as the last rays of the sun were dying behind the drapes. Night was coming. It looked like on television that nobody was going to be in darkness, though, because half the buildings in the city were catching fire.
I was shaking. I could hear loud voices out in the street, some in fear, some in anger. I peered through the curtains and could only see dark shadows moving out on the sidewalk. I turned the porch light off. There was no way I wanted to go out there, I kept thinking we'll keep the drapes closed and nobody will know we are here. I had this really powerful overwhelming urge to want to rush to a strong door down to a cellar, which I would close behind us and have a rush of relief at finding a place with food, water, light and safety. Unfortunately, there was no cellar. We lived in a styrofoam kit house that could likely be pulled apart by hand if somebody wanted to. Only a complete arsehole would live in a home like this, you'd have to be so tuned out you were barely registering as conscious. I took a look through the kitchen at my pathetic "preps" I had bought for those "riots" I was worried about ... some cans of soup, two jugs of springwater, a cheap little flashlight. I just had no idea.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went out and sat in the living room and watched some more television, I got one consistent fact from the news ... apparently the police were nowhere to be found, 911 was not answering and the government had completely abdicated it's responsibility to keep order. The people on the news kept saying something about the police waiting for the national guard to arrive. It took a really long time to sink in before I understood what they were saying. The police had camped out in their stations and were not coming out. You were completely on your own.
My wife finally fell asleep on the couch around midnight. I did not sleep a wink and stayed in front of the television all night, making one cup of coffee after another and monitoring the creep of the riots towards us one block at a time from down in South Central. Every few minutes, a helicopter shot appeared of a new building burning at a ferocious rate almost by magic where just an hour beforehand it had been pristine. They never showed anyone running away from the building, no arsonists ... it was just buildings exploding into bright flames glowing like miniature suns one after the other in a slow procession towards Sunset Boulevard. You would have thought the planet had been invaded by aliens made of fire.
Around 6 in the morning, I went out as the sun was rising. Half the horizon was a pillar of dark billowing smoke that looked like a woodcutting from the Old Testament. It was eighty miles high and was reaching the upper atmosphere.
That morning everyone on the news was desperately trying to convince everyone of the existence of some sanity in the world and that things would shortly be back under control, but it never was very persuasive because they kept cutting to the cops barricaded inside the station house eating donuts and watching the news and clicking their tongues saying it's terrible, somebody oughtta do somethin' about that.
ReplyDeleteLots of pundits and talking heads were telling us the previous night was the worst part and it was over. I climbed to the roof of my house and looked towards the south - I had this sick feeling that this was the beginning, not the end. That feeling was absolutely accurate. That was just the tip of the iceberg of what was coming.
I gave my wife a gun, locked the front doors and drove to the supermarket as soon as it was open and found myself fighting dozens and dozens of people at the doors to get inside and raid the place for as much as we could cart away. I got it right this time and bought what I thought would be serious provisions ... powdered milk, dry staples like beans and corn, canned meats, 30 liter springwater jugs. There was a serious dearth of cashiers and I heard the manager say that lots of people would not be coming in at all. There was a kind of electricity in the air like before a storm. Everyone wanted to get home with stocks and cocoon themselves. Some guy was trying to argue with me over a big pack of "D" cell batteries that I found behind the empty display case, I kept staring at him until he shut up and went away. One really old codger had a radio with an earpiece and he was muttering something about the "looting" starting in earnest while he was waiting in line with me. I didn't know what he was talking about at the time.
I waited at the gun shop for thirty minutes trying to buy a few boxes of ammo but the atmosphere there was very violent and utterly strange. There were lots of guys trying to buy guns off people waiting in line because the gunshop owner had reminded them of the thirty day waiting periods they had voted for in referendum and told them they could apply for a permit but would not be taking a gun out of the shop. These guys were begging for guns to protect their families in these pathetic reedy voices it broke your heart to listen to. Just about then a station wagon filled with black youths drove by playing some bass ugly rap music, everyone in the line was ultra tense thinking they were going to do a drive-by on all the white gun owners waiting in line. The wagon pulled off down the street and finally vanished. I gave up waiting and headed back to the house, luckily I had bought a little ammo the week before the riots.
When I got home, I immediately drilled holes for security crossbars on the front and back door and mounted a two-by-four on each to hold the door if somebody was trying to force it.
Then I turned on the TV again. The illusion that the dawn would bring sanity was completely dispelled. There were crowds bigger than Bible epics filling the parking lots of the all mega stores on La Cienega and they were stealing everything that was not tied down. Anybody watching the news could see the majority of all of them were the new mexican enrichers, not "poor downtrodden disaffected blacks." These guys who were operating leaf blowers for the wealthy the day before were taking advantage of the chaos to show their true colors and were running rampant as animals once they knew the law was not going to show up. They were systematically stripping every single retailer to the west shoreline of anything bigger than a thumbtack - and they were doing it brazenly right in front of television cameras hovering overhead off helicopters.
It was mesmerizing to just watch them swarming into the shopping centers and emerging like little ants loaded down with boxes. Before I knew it the time had slipped by and it was almost noon.
I'll put the rest down as soon as I get a chance about what was going on by that afternoon.
Fool, your wife is a zombie.
DeleteSoo...... you hate Mexicans?
Deleteneeds more dragons and shit
DeleteRob?
ReplyDeleteThis place would possess a higher calibre of wit and hate if you:
A. Remove Anonymous comment posting.
and
B. Remove me.
A. Yes, surely making people post under fake names rather than as "Anonymous" will greatly improve the quality of comments here. Innit?
DeleteB. Agreed. Preferably through violence.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
DeleteI am a sperm whale with over three million confirmed krills.
DeleteNEW TOPIC: What's the deal with pussy? Does anyone ever actually eat this stuff?
Naw, man. I'm not into vore.
DeleteJUST IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET, I DO!!!!
Delete(...ladies.)
(Hint hint.)
(You see, I am telling you that I enjoy a sexual act that many women find pleasurable and/or wish their mates would perform more often, and therefore you should have sex with me if you are among said group of women.)
(...ladies.)
(Did I mention I'm into cunnilingus, BTW? I love lingusing that cunn. Yessiree.)
(Why don't you let me demonstrate what I mean?)
(...ladies.)
Worst copypasta ever. Can anyone come up with a better one?
Deleteu are 1 fucking cheeky kunt mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol fuckin sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil fuckin gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer
Deletei said a BETTER one
DeleteALTF we are your biggest fans, we can never stop loving your thesbian ass asses butt booty dymaxion poophole.
ReplyDeleteNEW TOPIC: Homicide as a group trust building exercise.
Are we classing homicide purely by its legal definition, or are we to liberate it to include the destruction of animals?
DeleteHumans are the animals of least consequence.
DeleteI find that jointly committing homicide is one of the great uniters of disenfranchised male minorities with shared racial characteristics, perhaps second only to forcibly penetrating outsiders in unison. It also can serve to help increase dedication to a group via cognitive dissonance if required as part of an initiation rite.
DeleteLikewise, committing homicide against members of minority groups via beatings, strangulation, stabbing, etc. has historically proven to reinforce the ties of majority communities while also providing a fun family activity a nice backdrop for picnics. Executions of lawbreakers have frequently been used for similar purposes.
Depending on the definition of homicide being used, military groups have frequently demonstrated that it increases cohesion within small groups, and gladiatorial games have used it to help maintain social hierarchies by providing entertainment to the masses.
Dearest Eichmann Dobbs,
DeleteIt's 'thespian' and my sphincter is anything but dymaxion - I minimise my advantage with the maximal expenditure of energy and material.
I was going to correct him on that too, but then I figured he was going for a portmanteau of 'thespian' and 'lesbian'.
DeleteUnlikely the cunt has the intellectual wherewithal to pixellate a near-homophonic malapropism engendering a droll conflational lexeme that, entitled in the language of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys, is a portmanteau.
DeleteThen again, maybe she/he does.
my mother says I'm clever :J
Delete62 ceeksoc
I wonder what Randy would think of an old Soviet novel called "Monday Begins on Saturday". Weekends are for losers! Taking breaks is for people who are too dumb to love their jobs!
ReplyDeleteThere are many reasons why Randy is an atheist (i.e. humanist, engineer, Ph.D. warrior of logic and reason, etc) but here are the top reasons.
ReplyDelete1. He want a hot, steamy load from Neil de (great ass) Tysons magnum black rod of science.
2. All Christians are evil, backwards barbarians bent on executing gays (after Randall became an atheist and got a restriction order from Megan, he also became gay) enslaving women and burning copies of Christopher Hitchens' collective works.
3. All religious people believe in no sex before marriage. Randy believes in huge outdoor interracial-gay orgies and screaming "Carl Sagan!" when he blows his NASA rocket scientist load all over another NASA rocket scientist (i.e. Mensa society member)
4. When was the last time a religious person contributed to science? Never. Richard Dawkins literally invented Calculus, the Big Bang Theory, Genetics, philosophy, Physics and evolution after completing his masterwork; The God Delusion. Marie Curie was also an atheist and thoughts of her milky bosoms gave Randall many nights of excitement as a boy.
5. Randy enjoys going into Wal-Mart and demonstrating his morally perfect self to Christians everywhere. He loves it when people cheer him on after dispatching a fundie-theist retard on xkcd, too.
6. Randy likes using computers. The father of the computer was gay, therefore, because all theists everywhere hate gays, they don't use computers.
the wossname, mouseover text. how long before they silently fix that?
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with it? The "K" in "OK" needs to be capitalized or something?
DeleteSpeaking of weird capitalization, what's "TiME"?
what 11:28 said. the repetition. but also yes. how could they leave out Voyager, Hubble, Galileo?
DeleteGalileo lived in the 15th century numbnuts, how could he work at NASA?
Deletei actually thought this one was okay... or would have been if munroe had left out the post-punchline dialogue and obligatory "but really guys, i am enthusiastic about science" alt text. assuming he didn't steal it from somewhere, i'd give it a c+.
ReplyDeletecaptcha: givabj 10. even the captcha knows the answer to your problems weaselsoup.
feh, I would, but no one seems to want them
DeleteGo to a prostitute strip and offer your services for free. If that doesn't work, you're probably going to have to give up and join a nunnery or something. Maybe people already know well enough what monsters you make of them.
DeleteOK, weaselsoup, I want one. On Sunday at midday I'll be at London Victoria by the entrance to the Gatwick Express platforms. I'll not wear an xkcd t-shirt.
DeleteMy balls are in your court. Will they be in your mouth this weekend?
But Anon 6:01, how will weaselsoup know what you look like?
DeleteCapn, clearly you have never been at London Victoria by the entrance to the Gatwick Express platforms. No-one hangs around there for more than a minute. Only clueless tourists and people claiming expenses use the Gatwick Express, and neither of these people casually lean.
Deleteaw. I'm sorry, i have plans already on sunday. another time maybe. thanks though!
DeleteRandall's history of the last 40 years of space exploration is pretty much a list of the projects that were active while he interned at NASA and a few since. I'll agree that the 80s and 90s weren't so hot for space exploration. But still; Voyager exploration of the outer planets postdates the moon landings. There was a bunch of stuff to Mars. Hubble and some other telescopes. I'd say the Galileo mission to Jupiter got more press than the Randall cited Kepler and Cassini.
ReplyDeleteAnd let's talk about Randall's list of awesome NASA stuff. Spirit and Opportunity are legit; so much so that Randall had to mention them twice. Kepler and Cassini, not so much; Galileo and Hubble got more press. New Horizons and Curiosity; we've got to wait and see, they're not even successful missions yet. Project M was scrapped, then reinvented and has produced nothing much to date. If you're looking for examples of NASA successes, Randall, Project M is not something to cite. TiME? I can't even figure out what the fuck that is supposed to stand for. Not a success story, clearly.
Aside from the awful mouseover, B- for the rest of the comic. Three punch lines (one of them decent) packed into one mostly coherent dialogue. Good show.
Isn't Project M that Metroid game that everyone hates?
Deletejustin bailey's room
DeleteRemember, if every day was Saturday then xkcd would cease to exist. It only updates on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
ReplyDeleteOh, to dream of no more terrible xkcd updates. I guess Randall would still find a way around it, maybe by convincing the forumites to rename Saturday 'xkcday' and hoping it'd catch on, as with his normal attempts to make new memes. And failing horribly.
Deleteoh capn my capn
Deleteuh
that's the only line i know
NEW TOPIC: make a joke about the captcha i just got, 'entacid'
Is today's comic basically Randall coming up with an "awesome" reply to conspiracy-nuts and CONGRATULAING HIMSELF FOR IT?
ReplyDelete1. Who says the rocket fuel was real? Wouldn't that be part of the conspiracy, that they sold the fuel to another world power?
ReplyDelete2. No. Things are much harder to convincingly fake these days, which makes conspiracy nuts feel victorious.
Also, in a move of white knighting, he gives the "harsh burn" to the female character. That, or it is something Megan said and he's just drawing from life.
HEY, AMERICUNTS!
ReplyDeleteThe IRA no longer attack the British mainland.
After 30 years of violent Troubles and a peace process lasting 15 years, the Queen shook the hand of Martin McGuinness today.
This would be like Obama and Osama declaring a truce then playing a round of golf.
How does it feel to know that we got here without wasting hundreds of billions of dollars and killing hundreds of thousands of brown people, taking down the world economy with us?
Learn from your cultural ancestors, America, both in Britain and in Ireland.
That sounds a lot like you are shirking on your Irishman-killing duties. Shame on you.
DeleteI'm pretty sure that Obama would win that round of golf. You know, because he's played over 100 rounds since becoming president.
Delete(also osama is dead)
AMERICA IS NOT A FUCKING COUNTRY
DeleteThat's right, dipshit! And you know it. America is not a fucking country. If you fail to see this, let me open your eyes:
1. The United States
That's right motherfucker! It's called the United States of America! That's your shitty country! America, or the Americas, is North, Central and South America combined! STOP CALLING YOUR AIDS REGION AMERICA WHEN YOU ARE JUST ONE LITTLE SHIT PIECE OF IT! IT'S LIKE CALLING THE FUCKING MIDDLE EAST EURASIA!
"What the fuck is he talking about, Middle East is not a country lol! What a faggot!" Well YOUR FACE because USA is just as much a country as the Middle East! Which means, it is fucking NOT. However, a much better comparsion is
2. Europe
That's right fuckface. There is no fucking difference between Europe and USA. Europe consists of 50 countries with different laws. USA consists of 50 states with different laws. But the same flag. Both are 10.000.000 square kilometers. SO STOP SAYING WE CANT COMPARE THEM THEY ARE THE FUCKING SAME! And USA's countries are called
3. States
The fucking states. They are just like fucking countries, explained earlier. Also, if you ask an "American" where he is from, he will not say "USA" or "America", but the state he is from. If you ask a European where he is from, he will say the country. NOT THE FUCKING REGION OF THE COUNTRY! And have you noticed how you have 5 different time zones? Most normal countries have one time zone even if they actually cross several ones. Don't blame this on your size, becasue CHINA IS ALSO CROSSING 5 FUCKING TIME ZONES BUT IT HAS THE SAME TIME ALL OVER! This is clear evidence the states are countries in disguise. Also, even if we assume I am wrong on all this
4. It's not your country
FUCKING COLUMBUS! America, talking about the whole region now not your shitty united countries, belonged to the INDIANS! not because they where from India, but Columbus was so mindfucked he thought he was in India. Then he brought some friends, raped the whole fucking thing and killed all natives. Because
5. You are not Americans
Columbus brought his European friends and claimed the whole fuck. Most of them British. Then he imported loads of Niggers from Africa as slaves. Eventually they mixed, and the abomination that is known today as "American" was born. Also, did you read that part about Britain? You know, where England is? BECAUSE YOU SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH! YOU DON'T SPEAK AMERICAN! YOU ARE JUST A FUCKING NIGGER BRIT MIX THAT PRETENDS TO HAVE AN OWN IDENTITY! Besides
6. You didn't even deserve a country
JUST LOOK AT YOU! FUCKING PIECE OF FAILURE SHIT! Your average IQ is 97 versus the global average 100 and European average 101. If you are dumb as fuck and know nothing about IQ, because yours is under 80, you might not think 3 or 4 points are very much. Well, THEY FUCKING ARE! And your obsession with FAT DISGUSTING SHIT THINGS. People are getting fat because of McDonald's, and other junk food, not to mention sweets and snacks, thanks to you. Fried Mars bars and pancake & sausage with chocolate chip on a stick is NOT FUCKING NORMAL. It's not even supposed to be edible! IT'S FUCKING GROSS, JUST LIKE YOUR FACE! USA is the only "country" in the world to ban Kinder Eggs, since the fat bastard kids just shoved the whole fucking thing into their mouths and suffocated due to the plastic capsule. And then you think you are SO FUCKING COOL? The Universe was created when someone popped your huge fucking goddamn ego bubble with a needle. Fucking
7. FUCK
@10:13, while I applaud competent America-bashing, that wasn't very good.
Delete10:13's post is the archetype for tl;dr.
DeleteAlso, aren't people tired of America-bashing by this point? I remember becoming bored with it about six years ago and I'm embarassed at how long it took me.
On the other hand, I thought point 7. has some merit and was well made.
I felt the real drop was when 10:13 started glorifying IQ points, as though they mean something more than a quick test of how well a child is doing in primary school in their subjects.
Delete..And yes, I'm just butthurt because my IQ is so low I have to sit on the keyboard repeatedly and hope what my butt types is both legible and passes the captcha.
People with high IQs tend to be good at certain specific cognitive tasks which the modern workplace requires, but they the lack the imagination to rock the boat to or be any sort of threat to higher management - their mind is too focused on the gamut of tasks within their ambit.
DeleteIQ tests are therefore excellent for creating a modern, boring, stagnant world of idlers and their serfs, where progress mostly means reducing the size of your CPU manufacturing progress, rather than any significant scientific, artistic, economic or sociopolitical leaps.
yeah I went there
If that is true then how come all the presidents have a higher IQ than you.
DeleteTo me, his prescriptivism really shined.
DeleteNice way to be completely uninformed about how language works, fucker!
1074: hey guys look at this cool witticism i thought of but never got the chance to use
ReplyDelete1074 is the purest cuddlefish bait. Is there whining on the forums about the American government reducing its spending on space exploration? I'll bet there is.
ReplyDeleteI haven't checked, but yes.
DeleteI've gone and done the work for you both. I accept tips, leave them in the public bathroom down Main Street, behind the pipes.
DeleteI'm sorry to say that as far as my quick scroll through could tell, no one has even mentioned the reduced funding. They're more interested in the potential for human space travel, or not as the case might be.
However fret not, as in compensation for the disappointment my research must have caused I bring you a far better review from the xkcd forum than Rob will produce:
http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=86657&start=40#p3041685
There is a new race of LIBERTARIAN[TM] nerds now who believe that everything the government do is Evil And Wrong, but if you privatise the government then it will do good because vacuums always remain empty and no competing groups in history have ever formed a powerful alliance and declared themselves the new government before.
ReplyDeleteMoney is the only way to motivate people! The only way! Governments just give people money all the time, so it takes away their motivation to work! No motivation to work, and the economy grinds to a halt! No one gets paid to do their dishes, so dishes never get done, ever, people just buy new dishes every week and throw out the old ones! It's human nature to be motivated exclusively by a made up concept! If you disagree with anything I've said here you just don't understand economics! Never mind that it's a common understanding that no one truly understands economics, I do, and you're dumb!
DeleteHI RON PAUL
DeleteBagels: tasty breakfast items or primitive, covert sex toy? Discus.
ReplyDeleteYou do realise Bagels are streched + baked Jewish foreskins, yes?
ReplyDeleteI always thought they were elephant anuses.
ReplyDeleteGOOMHR I'm one of those nervous drivers who piss everybody else off by being overly cautious too!
ReplyDeleteI'm not surprised at all by the utter pointlessness and lack of effort on today's comic. After that "Words for small sets" bullshit, I don't think I can be shocked anymore. Although.
ReplyDeleteAlthough.
BUT IT HAS COLOR
DeleteEvolution "preparing" us? That's very Intelligent-Designish.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, turns out that evolution *has* equipped us to drive/ride in land vehicles, and most of us can do it quite effectively, although perhaps not man-children like Randall.
HEY GUYS DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE ONLY ONE SPLIT SECOND DECISION AND ABOUT A MINUTE'S EFFORT AWAY FROM EITHER KILLING ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU.
ALL YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO IS PICK UP A WEAPON AND *BLAM* YOU HAVE ENDED SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE AND CHANGED THE COURSE OF YOUR OWN LIFE FOREVER.
YET BILLIONS OF PEOPLE EVERY DAY RESIST THE URGE.
LOL @ THOSE QUIRKY THOUGHTS WHICH EMERGE WHEN YOU'RE SEVEN YEARS OLD AND START BECOMING SELF-AWARE AND ANALYTICAL.
Have a relaxing, murder-free weekend.
BUT IT HAS COLOR
DeleteBut how many times faster is several times faster?
ReplyDeleteBUT IT HAS COLOR
DeleteColour* you inbred insurrectionist
ReplyDeletecaptcha: fuckyourmitsubishiiveahorseoutside uchysr
Let's just use a compromise : Colur.
Deletebtw I'm not american, I'm not even from an English-speaking country. American English is currently the lingua franca of the world, while British English is, to the world, and therefore to the Internet, a boring relic of the past. Cultural heritage deserves to be preserved but you can't expect everyone to behave as if they were part of your tribe
12:49, you are stupid, right?
DeleteLearning American English today is as futureproof as learning Russian around 1988. The language spoken by the group with the highest number and the greatest strength is an Asian variant of English that is centuries closer to British English than American. That group also reflects values far closer to C19 Britain than C-anything USA.
tl;dr you're almost certainly from the mid-western USA and "I'm not even from an English-speaking country" is true in the best possible sense.
If Google Ngrams is to be trusted, in 2008 'color' had higher usage than 'colour' and had done since 1960. On the other hand, usage of 'color' appears to be sharply falling while usage of 'colour' sharply rising.
DeleteThis suggests that 'colour' will soon become more widely used than 'color', although one could have drawn the same conclusion (falsely) in 1962 or 1967.
In conclusion, while my schooling always taught me that the correct spelling was 'colour', the use of 'color' is so widespread that the sensible response is to treat either spelling as acceptable. For me this is not difficult as I believe that there is nothing inherently sacred about the way a word is spelled. People who do confuse me but I respect their right to spend their time discussing the merits of 'colour' vs. 'color' (or vice versa) on the internet if that is what they choose to do.
...
COLOR!
Here in Russia I was always taught to spell things the British way, for what it's worth.
DeleteInterestingly, American English is actually more old-fashioned in many regards; the colonists there escaped the main stream of linguistic change that overtook Britain itself. Given what the above posted said as well, I'm guessing American English is more deserving of the title of "boring relic of the past"!
Just checked out the xkcd forums. Turns out pretty much every xkcd fan is deathly afraid of driving. Who knew?
ReplyDeleteMaybe they all live in India.
Really? Fat asperger faggots are afraid of driving?
DeleteSTOP THE PRESSES
where is the fucking rants rob you put in less effort than randy now. i need someone to affirm my hatred of xkcd in long tirades putrid with foul language and malicious speculation about randy's sexual identity. <///3 *sadface*
ReplyDeleteBUT IT HAS COLOR
DeleteCancerwife gets cheap healthcare now thanks to SOCIALISM so Robdall doesn't need to bother any more.
DeleteThanks, now i have to go stare angrily at the ads for 5 minutes
DeleteWell since no light can escape from Rob's event horizon, it technically has no color :/
DeleteHI ROB PLEASE TO MAKE THE NEXT REVIEW HAS COLOR
ReplyDeleteWell done, 2:04, you've just started yet another annoying meme.
ReplyDeleteBUT IT HAS COLOR
Deletecrap, I forgot to sign out
Deleteyou could have deleted it idiot. now everyone saw your comment and thinks you are really stupid
DeleteI think it's kind of sweet
Deleteha ha im using the internet!!!
ReplyDeleteI LIKE THE INTERNET IS FUN SO MUCH
DeleteI think it's time to give it a rest. At this point we all know XKCD sucks. It sucks so much that you can't even make a funny comment on how much it sucks. Give it a break before some one starts a blog called "XKCD Sucks" Sucks. Or even worse, Randy makes a comic graphing the relative funniness of his comic and your blog.
ReplyDeleteYou heard the man, everybody. Let's not post here ever again.
DeleteNice try, Randall.
DeleteIn Randall's mind:
ReplyDeleteSpace Elevator: TOTALLY AWSUM SCIENCE LOL GOING INTO SPACE IS AWSUM
Cars: TOTALLY DANGEROUS OMG!
I wonder how he feels about aeroplanes.
1076 is alright, I think. C+
ReplyDeleteit's shit. groundhog day is shit. xkcd's obsession with sex is shit. xkcd's need to show off about knowing about creationism is shit. F-----
DeleteIt's not shit, it's just kind of average. The sort of comic you might get from a good comic maker on a bad day, which is the sort of comic you get from Randall on a good day.
Deleteno it really is shit
DeleteUssher was an Archbishop, but I dunno if that matters
ReplyDeleteI was explaining to a friend yesterday that 'The Groundhog's Day Loop' did not break by Bill Murry finally getting to sleep with the girl.
ReplyDeleteThat would just be sleazy.
No, it broke the night before when it started to snow. For 17 years of Groundhog's Days Bill had been living in the snow but it never actually snowed, which is why he is surprised by it in the movie.
The point is not that he got the girl, the point is that he grew as a person and stopped being the selfish douchebag he was. He learned to enjoy French, he learned to enjoy making music, and (most important) he learned to enjoy making others happy. That was the trigger that allowed him to free himself from the loop and when it finally happened the world he had been living in opened up and the snow fell.
no, the trigger was SEXTIMES HUR HUR
DeleteThe Jews at Hollywood produce shallow moralising pablum to distract you from their antics.
Delete264 DAYS LATER (THE LENGTH OF A PREGNANCY)
HEY GUYS (I KNOW ABOUT SEX)
I AM DOING IT WITH SOMEONE (WHO HAS BREASTS)
(KINDA)
The worst part is that the two specifically DON'T have sex the night of February 2nd. Rita mentions offhand at the end that Phil just got really sleepy, and they two ended up just lying next to each other Groundhog's day eve.
DeleteSo point is, up yours Randy.
Is Randall high? I'm worried that Randall is high.
ReplyDeleteI'm worried that his wife won't have any pain medication for herself if he keeps digging into it.
DeleteWikipedia articles that Randall has read recently:
ReplyDeleteGroundhog Day (film)
Pregnancy
James Ussher
You guys should read my new blog, http://xkcdsuckssucks.blogspot.co.uk
ReplyDeleteYou really need to update your blog.
DeleteDon't use that link! It has a virus.
DeleteBUT IT HAS COLOR
DeleteWhy is it "Bill Murray" having sex with "Rita"? Why does Bill Murray become himself but Andie MacDowell is just a fictional character? What actually happened in Groundhog Day, was Phil had sex with Rita. Bill Murray does not exist in the fictional universe of Groundhog Day
ReplyDeleteNext you'll be telling me that Humphrey Bogart never owned a cafe.
DeleteSpeaking of Rita, why do more people not appreciate Educating Rita? From a time when people going to university actually learnt higher and people who want to go to it so aspired; from a time when the Open University was actually about giving people a second chance to learn, rather than collecting £5,000/year in tuition fees; from a time before Thatcher+her Sun-reading idiots RUINED the country and made living a pointless chore.
DeleteYeah, I went there.
Shit movie though.
DeleteTime for Xkcd Sucks to decide once and for all: which is the better movie? Educating Rita or The Iron Lady?
DeleteWell, ER is Pygmalion and IL is The Fountainhead. This should answer your question.
DeleteMay I be the first to express my disappointment that 1076 does not have colour.
ReplyDeleteCAPTCHA: bruaRese
The places where they make beErs