Saturday, March 24, 2012

Comics 1032 and 1033: Noted Douchebag Writes Comic About Douchebags

[Just for the record, this post is expressly for the use of Ann Apolis, MD. Anyone else who reads it or comments on it is in violation of this site's EULA; by reading or commenting on this post while not being Ann Apolis, MD, you agree that you are a pathetic human being and also dumb. -Ed.]

1032. I've decided to start interpreting Beret Man's comics as being, in essence, Randall's attempt to document a friend's tragic descent into madness. Perhaps he's trying to raise awareness of mental illnesses like the one depicted here--this poor man has clearly lost all grip on reality, and has started eating business cards and carrying around suitcases full of cash. Mental illness is not funny, and it's clear Randall is trying his best to help his friend. It's admirable, and I'm glad that Randall has finally found a good cause to support.

1033. Perhaps Randall's awareness-raising efforts are also a cry for help. It's clear from this comic that he believes that issuing instructions that rely on jargon most drivers won't understand will prevent people from honking at him for being such a terrible driver. This plea for silence is as sad as it is dangerously erratic. Randall's seclusion from the real world is finally taking its toll on his mental health. This is no time to mock the man. Let us instead pity him.

279 comments:

  1. At first I was like wtf on 1033 but then I was like rofl when I saw the extra F. I can understand if you don't get it though. Randall's humor is really subtle and not everyone is smart enough to understand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get the joke, it's just that it's not a joke

      Delete
    2. Ha, obvious troll, but bonus points for suggesting that anyone that doesn't know what "iff" means isn't smart. In fact, I think those bonus points are all you got from Rob.

      Delete
    3. @anon9:18, I bet you were proud of yourself when you figured out that Scar was lying during 'The Lion King.'

      Delete
  2. At first I was like wtf on 1032 but then I was like rofl when I saw the beret. I can understand if you don't get it though. Randall's humor is really subtle and not everyone is smart enough to understand.

    ReplyDelete
  3. At first I was like wtf on 1033 but then I was like rofl when I saw it was xkcd. I can understand if you don't get it though. Randall's humor is really subtle and not everyone is smart enough to understand.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do anyone else find Google's captcha question "Please prove you're not a robot" vaguely unsettling? Google claims the right to judge whether or not you are human, and your humanity depends solely on whether or not you can successfully read a random succession of letters.

    I've made mistakes doing the captcha before. I guess that means I'm not fully human :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haven't you heard? All questions in life can be solved with multiple choice and short answer quizzes. How else would a technocracy flourish over culture, soul and life?

      Delete
  5. What we see in beret guy is a man who started out completely unworried by the world's troubles, but in order to maintain his optimistic outlook has had to completely overthrow any semblance of rational thought. It's Candide meets Gilliam's Brazil. Art at its finest.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This update has a strange fixation on mental illness. Perhaps Rob is trying to raise awareness of mental illnesses like the ones depicted here. Its admirable, and I'm glad that Rob has finally finally found a cause to support.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'finally finally'? How do you fail to copy-paste properly?

      Get out. Get out and take your failures with you.

      inb4 why do people think etc. etc.

      Delete
    2. 'etc. etc.'? How do you fail to type 'etc.' properly?

      Get out. Get out get out and your failures with you.

      inb4 I intended it even though it is redundant etc. etc.

      Delete
  7. i fucking hate you jon levi, please don't ever post a comment on this page, jon levi

    you make me sick

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please visit jonlevisucks.blogspot.com for a review of Jon Levi's latest comment.

      Delete
    2. Don't worry Jon, I love you.

      Don't ever quit.

      <3

      Delete
    3. i fucking hate you jon levi, please don't ever post a comment YOU WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT

      Delete
    4. At first I was like wtf on 8:41 but then I was like rofl when I saw it was Jon Levi. I can understand if you don't get it though. Jon Levi's humor is really subtle and not everyone is smart enough to understand.

      Delete
    5. Personally, I don't understand the appeal of Jon Levi.

      Most posters are pretty dumb, their only pupose being to make lonely people feel like they are not lonely, but they usually allow some creativity (e.g., Ann Apolis) or are flexible enough that they can be semi-relevant to the thing that they are a response to (e.g., Azriel).
      But Jon Levi, devoid of personality or coherence, does no more than shout wordlessly into the void. He could just as easily be Gamer_32k, or Anonymous, or Carl.

      I know this post won't stop Jon Levi from posting "i fucking hate you jon levi, please don't ever post a comment YOU WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT", but perhaps he will re-evaluate WHY, and post something insightful as well from time to time.

      Delete
    6. But some posts are SUPPOSED to be funny. No one's forcing you to read them. The humour of all internet posts is subjective. You probably just hate mine because you're biased against everything I post, and because you're jealous. Don't you have anything better to do with your time that complain about my posts? I'd like to see you come up with something better.

      Delete
    7. You forgot:
      It's ok to copy posts!

      Delete
    8. Since when did copying posts become okay?

      I don't think it's okay.

      Delete
    9. Ooh, Anon 9:42, you walked right into that one!

      Delete
  8. thank you for sharing

    http://designs-article.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are a funny motherfucker, Rob

    I forgive you for your past pretty shitty reviews

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, you're half right.

      Delete
    2. Which one, the "mother" or the "fucker"?

      Delete
  10. parsimonious lens

    ReplyDelete
  11. At first I was like wtf on 7:12 but then I was like rofl when I saw the sarcasm. I can understand if you don't get it though. xkcdsucks's humor is really subtle and not everyone is smart enough to understand.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, I just watched the latest South Park: "Cash for Gold".

    Have these libertarian cartoonists finally realised the consequences of their beliefs?

    ReplyDelete
  13. 1033: Laugh iff (humor = reference)?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well, I just read the latest xkcd: "Formal Logic".

    Have these nerd cartoonists finally realised the consequences of their beliefs?

    ReplyDelete
  15. hahhahahaah hey everyone look at this guy

    what a massive tool

    ReplyDelete
  16. B&amp;W setting on my phoneMarch 25, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    Rob...you need to take a few weeks off. Get a guest writer. Something, man. You're slippin', Rob-bro. Just, damn, man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you just noticed this now?

      Delete
    2. This week xkcdsucks is even worse than xkcd itself.

      Delete
    3. 4:25 = Randall

      Delete
  17. I thought the bumper sticker was quite funny until I saw the extra 'f' and then it was irritating. The one before it about the rich guy eating business cards was probably the most annoying things I've read recently; it's probably a personal trolling fantasy.

    ReplyDelete
  18. oh god you sad fucks are you still whining about xkcd? look we get it xkcd isnt your thing and you dont find it funny but why the fuck do you keep this site telling us all how you feel? it's not like you even have anything clever to say just HURRRR RANDALL MONROE IS DUMB. if he is so dumb then how come he has the most popular comic for geeks on the whole internet? how come he can make a business from it? how come clever people like MIT invite him to talks?

    yeah, it's true that not all of his strips are funny, but which things that you like are funny all the time? you name one thing and i'll find something shit about it. he could sell out and get his comic syndicated and have a proper editor but he doesnt - he is doing all this by himself. simple but effective.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh god randall

      *fap fap*

      ooooh god, fuck

      Delete
    2. When did it become okay for Randall to pretend to be anonymous on the internet? I don't think that's okay.

      Delete
    3. Harpo Marx.

      HIS HARP ROUTINES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY THEY DON'T COUNT

      Delete
    4. Randall is like Picasso. His work is brilliant but troglytes look at it and think "that's stupid." I just hope Randall doesn't take the haters too seriously and cut off his ear or something.

      Ignore the hate, Randall!

      Delete
    5. oh god you sad fucks are you still whining about xkcd sucks? look we get it xkcd sucks isnt your thing and you dont find it funny but why the fuck do you keep coming to this site telling us all how you feel? it's not like you even have anything clever to say just HURRRR ROB IS FAT. if he is so fat then how come he has the most popular blog about a comic for geeks on the whole internet? how come he can make a business from it? how come clever people like no one invite him to talks?

      yeah, it's true that not all of his reviews are funny, but which things that you like are funny all the time? you name one thing and i'll find something shit about it. he could sell out and get his blog syndicated and have a proper editor but he doesnt - he is doing all this by himself. simple but effective.

      Delete
    6. Wait, I thought we were the ones who said 'HURRRR ROB IS FAT'?

      Delete
    7. You just wasted a perfectly good question mark where you didn't need one, asshole.

      Delete
    8. You just wasted a perfectly good post where you didn't need one, asshole.

      Delete
    9. You just wasted a perfectly good copypasta where you didn't need one, asshole.

      Delete
    10. You just wasted a perfectly good leopard where you didn't need one, asshole.

      Delete
    11. Fourthleopard LeopardMarch 28, 2012 at 9:54 AM

      You just leopard a perfectly leopard leopard where you didn't leopard, asshole.

      Delete
  19. Dangerously erratic? More like dangerously erotic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leopard leopard? Leopard leopard leopard leopard.

      Delete
  20. Sometimes the most interesting thing about a set of stereotypes is what it implies about the person who manufactured them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes the most interesting thing about a set of stereotypes is nothing

      Delete
  21. one day maybe Rob will make a post exclusively for me *dreams*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. one day maybe weaselsoup will make a post exclusively for me *dreams*

      Delete
    2. it's a bit difficult when everyone is called 'anonymous'

      Delete
    3. Love for the great unwashed is the most beautiful love.

      Alas, also the most difficult.

      Delete
    4. all the love I have for people is unrequited by them

      Delete
    5. That is an indirect but unambiguous way of saying that you don't love me, weaselsoup :'(.

      Delete
    6. well not necessarily. for all either of us know, this could be a meg ryan sitcom situation, & you could be that someone I like but who I am sure does not like me and it could turn out that I was wrong*, and vice versa. that could be nice, if you're not a nutter

      *although I believe in all the advice given in He's just not that into you, which is the wisest book ever, so i have long realised it is extremely unlikely that any of my sad schoolgirl-style crushes do reciprocate, and then you have to start thinking, do I deliberately choose these people to like because they aren't going to like me back so it's safe, etc, and what a terrible way to live, but the heart wants what the heart wants

      Delete
    7. If I could be someone that you like then your "all the love I have for people is unrequited" is delivered pessimistically ("the pessary is inserted pessimistically...").

      But I'm one of those people who eschews - perhaps even abhors - the giving or receiving of selective love. I appreciate it only to understand it - de gustibus non est disputandum; I understand it only to reject it. Your crush on me would be requited only if a crush on everyone.

      But I still love you.

      Delete
    8. i am indeed a pessimist. also, unlike mr Munroe I try not to hope that that someone i like might one day get really depressed & settle for me even though they don't really want to.

      'could' as in 'might be' as in, it's a small world so you never know who's hiding behind being anonymous, etc, rather than 'could' as in 'one day this situation might happen'... although again, who knows

      help me try to understand how you can say you abhor & reject giving & receiving love, but still claim to love anyone? is this a philosophical distinction about different types of love? eros, philia, agape, etc?

      captcha= iscoptis Randow. randall sees you, or something like that

      Delete
    9. oh hang on no i think i get it - you love everyone in the world, is that it? that is nice

      havatery gendayer, indeed

      Delete
  22. I'm still not sure what the actual joke in the IFF comic is supposed to be. Is the whole point of including IFF just to make a reference to the formal logic the bumper sticker mentions? Or is there something more behind this?

    Please help me. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no formal logic in the comic. I simply don't get it. Saying "iff" is no more "formal logic" than saying "if".

      Delete
    2. randall referenced something i am aware of, therefore it is hilarious

      the end

      Delete
    3. I think the "joke" is that you can (and have to) honk only if you understood the phrase, but if you don't get it, you'll have no reason not to honk for something since you didn't get it.

      So i guess the joke is that it's useless.

      Delete
    4. If anyone actually had that bumper sticker they'd probably get a lot of people stopping besides them at lights and calling over, "Y'all spelled 'if' wrong, how stupid can ya even be?" and driving off before {Randall} can give an explanation.

      Delete
    5. It's pretty simple, really. Randall has to take everything and shove it up its own ass (yes this line is shamelessly ripped from Community, thursdays on NBC). Saying IFF and then killing the inside-ness of the joke (which previously only would have been laughed at by people on the math-fun@cs.arizona.edu mailing list) and tortured it beyond the breaking point so that NOBODY can laugh at it, we can just sit back and think "should *I* be using the clause IFF more?"

      Delete
    6. @4:54 Just goes to show how subjective humour can be. For me, Randall referenced something I like to think of as being the sort of thing I would be aware of and probably really would be aware of if I had put some effort into learning the things I would like people to believe that I know, therefore it is hilarious.

      Delete
  23. HURRRR RANDALL MONROE IS DUMB.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Speaking of which, is 1034 supposed to be humorous, insightful or both? Or something else entirely?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neither. It's supposed to show that Randall is capable of reading the numbers on the share button on all the "cool, hip websites" that all of the cuddlefish enjoy.

      Delete
  25. you are all faggots, fuck you

    ReplyDelete
  26. you are all leopards, fuck you

    ReplyDelete
  27. If you hate Randall Munroe so much, why do you all use his jokes so much?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you hate being fat so much, why do you eat so much?

      Delete
    2. It's pretty simple, really. cuddlefish have to take everything and shove it up its own ass (yes this line is shamelessly ripped from 9:11, mondays on xkcd sucks). Saying "leopard" and then killing the inside-ness of the joke (which previously only would have been laughed at by people on the xkcd fora) and tortured it beyond the breaking point so that NOBODY can laugh at it, we can just sit back and think "should *I* be using the word leopard more?"

      Delete
    3. So 10:29 implies it is a self-harming compulsion and 10:31 claims it is an effort to destroy the joke, on a website that already hates the joke.

      Thank you both for your input. It was most illuminating.

      Delete
    4. >implying eating a lot when you're fat isn't simply weighing up conflicting values
      >implying a reply in the form of a meme has substantive value
      >implying that a joke has diminishable value through being an "in-joke"
      >anthropomorphising a web site
      >implying hate is being directed at Randall's work rather than Randall himself
      >implying hatred is not the best justification for anything
      >summarising what people say like that German a few weeks ago
      >implying two posts probably written by at most two Anons are "most illuminating"

      Delete
    5. 10:24, if you're not a faggot, how come you love sucking my cock so much?

      Delete
    6. It's pretty simple, really. 10:24 has to take your cock and shove it up its own ass (yes this line is shamelessly ripped from 10:31, mondays on xkcd sucks). Saying "If you hate Randall Munroe so much, why do you all use his jokes so much?" and then killing the inside-ness of the cock (which previously only would have been sucked by homosexuals) and tortured it beyond the breaking point so that NOBODY can suck it, we can just sit back and think "should *I* be sucking cock more?"

      Delete
    7. And now in serious response to Anon 10:24 / 11:29: because the jokes are terrible and we are terrible people. The difference is, we don't pretend they're funny, and we sure don't pretend there's any damn effort involved or that they're worthy of being published as one of the most popular webcomics out there.

      Delete
    8. *Puts on hipster glasses*

      We're using xkcd jokes ironically. Can't you see we're being ironic? I'm not even a hipster. I'm just using the hipster stereotype ironically.

      Delete
    9. I think we've sunk far below irony a long time ago... now it's just spite.

      Delete
  28. ">implying eating a lot when you're fat isn't simply weighing up conflicting values"

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  29. this is comment 69, lol

    ReplyDelete
  30. I have an awesome idea for the next comic
    Make a bar chart that shows the number of google results for "i am the xx %" where xx is all the numbers between 0 and 100.
    It would be even funnier if you put 101 % too !!! (it's amusing because 101% is impossible)
    And on the bottom right corner, black hat guy saying "i am the over 9000 %" (note the clever reference to a popular recent reddit meme)
    Randall if you read this please do it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's depressing that this is so close to reality that i felt the need to go check whether you were describing an actual existing xkcd or not

      Delete
    2. >recent

      9001 is as old as the suns!

      Delete
    3. thatsthejoke.jpg

      Delete
  31. Hey! I'm gonna go off-topic like! :D

    I only pretty recently started reading xkcd. I can't really consider myself a fan, but I enjoy it a lot *overall*. A couple of days ago, I stumbled across xkcdsucks, and it's really good. You know, it actually made me change my mind on some things -- not like an epiphany, but still, it's an interesting take on xkcd AND it's funny. I think some of the reviews made me laugh more than all xkcd comics combined (literally. And I mean literally not in the sense of "not literally, but it was pretty epic nonetheless", I mean literally as in "I'm being literal here man").

    Here's my first criticism: speaking of funny, it's less funny now that it was before. And I don't mean Carl vs. Rob, I mean before vs. now. Isn't it ironic? You've been bithcing A WHOLE LOT about how Randall should quit. About how he just should be honest to himself and go "OK, I'm not as good as I used to be, the classy move would be to quit now". Why not just make an xkcdsucks forum instead? Or make blank blog posts, just so that people can comment on the individual comics? IDK, it just seems to me you're contradicting yourself big time. (that said, I still find your articles funny, usually, including this one)

    But the biggest problem I have with xkcdsucks is that it is possible to make fun of anything. You can make anything sound cheesy, and stupid, and elitist, and not funny, and meaningless, and gross, and childish, etc. Being cynical and angry is easy. One could do the same thing about your site, and actually I think it would have been pretty fun if you'd done it yourself. xkcdsuckssux sucks, I wish someone had done something interesting with it, there is material.

    OH LOLOLOLOLOL RANDYS GONE CRAZY, I MEAN DAMN. YOU ARE ONE HILARIOUS DUDE, ROB, I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT. "Let us instead pity him" OH YOU XD ITS THE BEST ONE IN QUITE A WHILE! LOLOL I LOVE HOW YOU SAID THAT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, RANDALL IS CRAZY WE SHOULDN'T MAKE FUN OF HIM AND ALL HAHA, CRACKS ME UP. SEE, YOU COULD HAVE SAID "HEY GUYS IS RANDALL GETTING CRAZY OR IS IT JUST ME?" OR SOMETHING GENERIC, BUT NO, YOU GO ONE STEP FURTHER AND ACTUALLY GO "LETS UNITE AND HELP THE POOR FELLOW", LIKE, WITH A DAMN STRAIGHT FACE HAHA!!! HM... DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW CLEVER AND FUNNY YOU ARE ROB? BECAUSE *THAT* ONE WAS GOOD, REALLY GOOD. ONE HELL OF A JOKE, LET ME TELL YOU. AS SOMEONE ELSE USED TO SAY, THATS KOMEDIC GOLD, RIGHT THERE. AND SO ORIGINAL!!! IVE *NEVER* -- DO YOU HEAR ME? NEVER EVER -- HEARD A SINGLE JOKE LIKE THIS ONE. YOU KNOW, SARCASM, DEADPAN, MENTAL HEALTH JOKES, THATS ALL SO NEW TO ME, WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR INSPIRATION???

    ^seriously, you can do that with anything. You can take the funniest, most clever, saddest thing on Earth and make it sound like the dumbest thing ever, that's the power of words. Yes, xkcd deserves to be criticised on a lot of things (I know I said I'd skip that part, but here's just one because it really bugs me: just because you get a joke -- or, a "joke" -- doesn't mean it's funny. Oh god, it seems so obvious, but it isn't to a lot of xkcd readers apparently), but sometimes you're just being stupid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ^well, I've been told I was very verbose, and I've never disagreed with that.

      Delete
    2. I kind of agree with Anon 3:23 here; while xkcdsucks has given me more laughs than xkcd itself, I feel it's a bit stale at the moment. I think that may be mostly because, well, the last few comics have just been so terrible that making fun of it just doesn't take any effort. What kind of constructive criticism can there be? What kind of negative criticism that isn't already blatantly obvious? Not much, my friends. Not much at all.

      Delete
    3. I noticed years ago that you can reply to pretty much any joke with "Haha, it's funny because [boiled down explanation of the joke]" and make it seem much less funny. See, I'll do it with one of my favorite xkcd comics: Haha, it's funny because he's probably gonna get stabbed.

      So yes, this blog tearing down the comics doesn't prove that xkcd is bad, but I'm okay with xkcdsucks because
      1) xkcd does suck, and
      2) most regulars don't really take themselves seriously.

      This is the Internet. Go to Encyclopedia Dramatica and find an article about a demographic you're part of and laugh along with them. It's part of the fun.

      Delete
    4. 3:23/3:47, this is why there aren't really any reviews on xkcdsucks any more. I'd hardly call Rob's two-sentence placeholders "reviews" - they're more like, "Yeah, that one sucked too; chat amongst yourselves about it or anything else on your mind." Your mistake is to still think of xkcdsucks as an xkcd review site. It'd be like complaining about the US Democrat Party because it doesn't publish sound rebuttals against emancipation arguments as often as it used to.

      OTOH, Randall still thinks he's writing a comic strip. (Although I am of the opinion that people still remember the old ones with way more fondness than they deserve).

      xkcdsucks is refreshing because few seem to take anything seriously, and the remainder are shouted down for trying. The world is an absurd and meaningless ball of nonsense and everything that's very wrong with it comes from people thinking otherwise.

      Delete
    5. Don't you angst on me 4:08 DON'T YOU FUCKING ANGST ON ME!!

      You're right, of course, but on the other hand, if not to make any sort of real criticism, what are we really doing here? Just spouting hatred gets boring quick and you can have random conversations anywhere. The actual reviews were the interesting/funny part - what would you say, then, the purpose of this blog is nowadays?

      Delete
    6. The criticism here is all real and valid, but takes place more in the comment section than in the initial reviews. Simply writing a short piece on why an xkcd strip is shit gives us nothing we don't already know, while turning a whole thread into a parody of some aspect of xkcd/cuddlefish style provides an interactive game.

      By identifying and mocking typical Randall/cuddlefish behaviour, we avoid it in our wider lives. We thus improve ourselves whether we intend to or not. And the game is not played out of hatred - but it is certainly enhanced by hatred.

      Delete
  32. Hey! I'm gonna go off-topic like! :D

    I only pretty recently started reading... um, started rea... re... er...

    No, I'm sorry. This one is too long to copypasta. Someone else can take this one.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Replies
    1. [meme combined with another meme]

      Delete
    2. [description of meme written between square brackets]

      Delete
    3. [devastating deconstruction of meme and those who use them]

      Delete
    4. [cruel mockery of rob's cry for help]

      Delete
    5. [sincere response to rob's cry for help which will be copypasta'd and become a meme]

      Delete
    6. Maybe I'm the first person here to say it but I find [verb] [object] really boring. I have started [verb] hundreds of [object] of various lengths and probably finished a dozen throughout my life, not including [exception].

      I find it hard to pick up [object] without immediately engaging a mindset of, "Here's a consumable that some guy has produced to make money and/or [purpose]. What comfortable fantasy is he creating to enable this?" And that's how my whole [verb] experience goes. [object] makes no point well which can't be better made with reference to [alternative]. It takes me nowhere without giving me the uncomfortable sense that someone thinks this is where I am supposed to need to be in order to see something false or escape something true. [object] idealises; it romanticises; it preaches. It falls asleep and it dreams. It is a selfish journey away from [alternative].

      The world already has enough that is beautiful and that is abhorrent - and [alternative] is far more challenging to confront. [object] has always seemed like the easy way out.

      Delete
    7. [sincere response to rob's cry for help which will be copypasta'd and become a meme]

      Looks like it already has.

      Delete
  34. Comic 1034 has made me think - why doesn't this site have any share buttons?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because this site isn't run by an egocentric aspie cheerled by hordes of blathering fanboys who think it's acceptable to impose your poorly chosen interests on others.

      captcha: stopme. Indeed.

      Delete
    2. yes it is instead run by me

      Delete
    3. I'm pretty sure it is.

      Delete
  35. Yeah, it's not like Blogger doesn't allow that sort of crap. I guess Carl is just too lazy to update the site?

    Notable:
    CNU alumnus Randall Munroe returns to campus
    to discuss the success of his popular comic, xkcd.
    7:00 p.m. April 4, 2012
    Ferguson Center Concert Hall
    Free Ticketed Event


    Anyone [able to be] going? I don't live near Newport News, VA and that's a Wednesday so I can't go. Alas! My dreams crushed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christopher Newport University
      www.cnu.edu/
      A public liberal arts college in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia.

      wait what

      Delete
    2. He's going to get gang raped. Now I wish I lived close enough to go.

      Delete
    3. He's not going to get raped. He's going to get a thousand simultaneous blowjobs from his loving fans. He will love it, and they will love it, and everyone will go home happy.

      Delete
    4. I don't even live in the US, and this doesn't make me any more eager to go. Actually, I'm kind of curious - why does Randall need to go there to talk about his own success? If he wanted to share it, he could just, y'know, make a comic out of it. They're all reading that anyway, and if they're not, why'd they be interested in this talk...?

      Delete
    5. Is it the college he "studied" at? Crappy colleges love to have visits from successful alumni in order to make their students believe they have a future. Good ones do it too sometimes.

      Delete
    6. is that a good college? all the showing off gives the impression that he must've gone somewhere like really impressive, but i've never heard of this place, but then again i am not american, so maybe it is really good

      Delete
    7. Don't go all elitist on me, weaselsoup. The quality of the undergrad experience reflects on the tutors, not the student. The fact that I may have got an offer at Imperial or Oxford reflects that I bothered cramming for exams and had a helpful ex-Cambridge admissions tutor for a teacher. I am still a dumb bastard.

      What certainly matters is the quality of your research output. But that comes much later. (In Randall's case, not at all.)

      I nevertheless think it appropriate to point out that CNU sells itself as a "liberal arts college". Randall has turned this harmless fact into a shameful tick which he has let burrow into his aspie little brain. He has then spent at least 30% of his comics trying to twist it out.

      Delete
  36. i think what that's what she meant is he insults liberal arts majors all the time so they probably hate him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt they give a shit.

      Delete
  37. It's Randall "Fucking" Munroe, they all love him obvi. The blowjobs, it's gonna be that one, RESERVE YOUR "SEAT" TODAY!

    captcha1: zingo. Las cartas de referencia de las especialidades de antropología se queja de que este punto de vista del desarrollo numerolinguistic perpetúa un mito muy difundido. Llegan a escribir cartas como esa, porque cuando usted no está consiguiendo un grado de la ciencia real que tiene un montón de tiempo libre. ZINGO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is fucking hilarious.

      Delete
    2. Awful automated translation. Fine use of it. And Randall would have that level of respect for other languages.

      Delete
  38. A while ago we learnt that Randall needs to urinate with alarming frequency. Just a few sips from a fountain is enough to get his bladder all bothered if a toilet is in sight.

    Now we learn that the sugar content of a single Creme Egg is enough to get him a tad queasy.

    No doubt about it. Randall's alcoholism has completely messed up the effectiveness of his organs.

    ReplyDelete
  39. New comic was funny.

    Although that might just be because I was expeting one of his patented "not a punch line punch-lines".

    So an actual punch line took my completely by surprise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An actual punch is going to take you completely by surprise pretty soon if you don't stop being such a retard.

      Delete
    2. Oh no mr E-thug, please don't threaten me physically! Anything but that!

      Your cock must be tiny.

      Delete
    3. 4:15, do you understand the difference between a threat and a helpful warning?

      Threat: I'm going to run over you with my car.

      Warning: If you keep sucking Randall's cock while crossing the street then someone's going to run over you with their car.

      Delete
    4. He's right though. Your cock must be tiny.

      Delete
    5. 6:44 = 4:15 = unhealthy cock obsession.

      Delete
    6. So fucking tiny. It probably takes you like an hour for just a cup of piss to work it's way out.

      Delete
    7. "It's" means "it is" you dumb shit.

      Delete
    8. Wow, 8:10, you really spend a lot of time thinking about cock.

      FWIW it does indeed take an hour for the piss in my cock to travel from one end to the other.

      Delete
    9. You should see a doctor about that.

      Delete
    10. I did and she said there was nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all.

      Delete
    11. See,she'd ignore her Hippocratic oath to see you dead.

      Or at least just to see you desexed.

      Delete
    12. Bloop a "dumb shit" cannot possibly exist, as shit has no cognitive function. You moron.

      Delete
    13. 12:26, Occam's razor to the wrists now.

      Delete
    14. I tried it and Murphy's law somehow flipped it so I wound up banging your mom.

      Sorry bro.

      Delete
    15. every post in this thread is by the same person, just fyi

      Delete
    16. hay guyz

      Delete
    17. Even that one.

      Delete
  40. Did Randall just mix imperial and metric measurements in his latest comic? Didn't a similar incident cost NASA millions? Didn't Randy work for NASA?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, he did an internship for NASA.

      I once carried some tea at Downing Street. I'm not a government minister. (I'm better than that.)

      Delete
  41. What's an oz.? Is that a unit they use in New Zealand?

    captcha: Susis muntels, but Randills smurts.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Why is Randall telling an audience of advanced mathematician-enthusiasts that 12oz. = 2 eggs and that 20oz. = 3 eggs? The following sentences would have been necessary and sufficient to impart all the information in this comic in sequential form:

    Cadbury egg: 20g sugar
    12oz soda can: 40g sugar
    Conclusion: Eat many eggs and feel no worse than when drinking soda.

    Sufficient to impart gist:

    Twice as much sugar in a soda can as a Cadbury egg.

    Sufficient to impart all useful knowledge:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The comic is shit, but still, your argument is invalid. Randy doesn't say that 12oz. = 2 eggs, he says that 12oz is ABOUT two eggs.

      On the other hand, you could say that, after failing miserably at communication in his communication comic, he thought that it was a OH-SO-GREAT idea to do a miscommunication comic again.

      And you can also notice how the fact that Megan doesn't understand correctly seems to imply that she's dumb as shit, when he did a comic saying exactly the opposite like two weeks ago.

      Way to be consistent Randy.

      Delete
    2. >The comic is shit, but still, your argument is invalid.

      This reminds me of those episodes of Star Trek where that vapid reprobate Shatner says "bla bla 93%" and Spock replies, "93.0392387% to be precise, Captain." And I think, "Why did you stop at 7 decimal places, Spock, you wishy washy social scientist you?"

      Delete
    3. The actual quote is

      Kirk: What would you say the odds are on our getting out of here?
      Spock: Difficult to be precise, Captain. I should say approximately seven thousand eight hundred twenty four point seven to one.
      Kirk: Difficult to be precise? Seven thousand eight hundred and twenty four to one?
      Spock: Seven thousand eight hundred twenty four point seven to one.
      Kirk: That's a pretty close approximation.
      Spock: I endeavour to be accurate.
      Kirk: You do quite well.

      AND IT OCCURED ONCE.

      Delete
    4. 1)

      "OCCURED"

      2)

      Kirk and Spock troll each other this way repeatedly, e.g.

      SPOCK: Captain, there are approximately one hundred of us engaged in this search, against one creature. The odds against you and I both being killed are 2,228.7 to 1.
      KIRK: 2,228.7 to 1? Those are pretty good odds, Mister Spock.
      SPOCK: And they are of course as accurate as you are sexy, Captain.

      Also I know how to use a search engine on the Internet so feel free to feel the wrath of my perfect knowledge of Star Trek scripts.

      captchae: touncan obervity. Obervity: on the qui vive for a rare touncan sighting.

      Delete
    5. I don't even know why I said that. I've never seen Star Trek.

      Delete
  43. So if Rob read and commented this post.. by his license he is as pathetic and dumb as the rest of us :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you forget that I AM LEOPARD

      Delete
    2. you forget that I AM IRON MAN

      Delete
  44. I thought Randall lived in the US. Wouldn't his soda be full of HFCS, not sugar?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >implying Randall is alive

      Delete
  45. New comic is shittier than shit.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I think you're all missing a valid point here.

    RANDY MADE A TOPICAL JOKE WHILE IT WAS ACTUALLY STILL RELEVANT.

    ReplyDelete
  47. what happened to the "chris houlihan's room" guy :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's too busy trying to pass a particularly difficult part of sonic 3 to post.

      Delete
    2. Serves him right for eating Sonic 3 in the first place.

      Delete
  48. I was pleasantly surprised when the alt-text wasn't girllookatthatbody

    ReplyDelete
  49. Wait - people still eat cadbury eggs? People over the age of seven? I'll be damned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. when you get older you can fit the whole thing in your mouth.

      Delete
    2. But can you fit the whole thing in chris houlihan's room?

      Delete
    3. can you fit chris houlihan's room with a cadbury egg in chris houlihan's room ?

      Delete
    4. can you fit chris houlihan's room with a leopard in carnival night zone, act 2?

      Delete
    5. can you fit a chris houlihan's room in a tardis parked in a chris houlihan's room with a leopard eating cadbury eggs in carnival night zone, act 2 ?

      Delete
    6. can you fit a parsimonious lens in a chris houlihan's room in a I don't think it's okay parked in a chris houlihan's room with a leopard eating a leopard eggs in carnival night zone, act 2?

      Delete
    7. can you fit a comfortable fantasy to enable this in a reality in a leopard falling asleep and personally not understanding the appeal of chris houlihan's room in a sustainable sustainable sustainable ingsoc leopard sustaYOU WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT

      ...in carnival night zone, act 2?

      Delete
  50. chris houlihan's room

    ReplyDelete
  51. So it looks like Megan's letting herself go.

    ReplyDelete
  52. This made me laugh more than both XKCD comics you referenced combined.

    Which wasn't hard, now that I think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  53. So in America you call Creme Eggs "Cadbury Eggs"? Why? Doesn't Cadbury release any other type of chocolate egg there? They release all sorts of chocolate eggs in Australia. Caramel filled eggs, white chocolate eggs, unfilled eggs, solid eggs, dark chocolate eggs, milk chocolate eggs, big eggs, little eggs, hairy pussy, smelly pussy. If anybody around here said "Cadbury egg," well, of course people would be wondering what type they were talking about!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just thinking that. Seems really bizarre that Cadbury would only sell one product in that area. Are other companies considered the main purveyors of Easter eggs and Cadbury just sells one kind?

      Delete
    2. The Creme Egg is definitely the most popular kind, so it's almost like a genericization. I've seen Caramel-filled eggs and Chocolate eggs, but I don't know if the latter is the Creme egg filled with a chocolate center instead of creme or a solid egg.

      Delete
  54. Apparently it's "Cadbury Creme Egg" or "Creme Egg" for every single commercial. So... I dunno what Randy is going on about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a British ad. America has stuff like this. As you can see, they're actually sold by Hershey's around here. Apparently they're also smaller.

      Delete
    2. I (in Canada) remember the "Cadbury Creme Egg Suicide" ones, and it seems reaaaally weird to me that they'd market us as British rather than American, are you sure that series didn't run in the US?

      Delete
    3. All I'm sure of is that I had never seen it before and the channel for the video you linked to was British judging from the site it links to.

      Delete
  55. chris houlihan's room

    ReplyDelete
  56. I was just reading www.icanbarelydraw.com and thought that if you think Xkcd sucks, then this guy has no chance. (Yeah, I know, Xkcd just sucks compared to the good ol' Xkcd, blah blah.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A brief look confirms it to be absolutely awful, but does anyone even care that it exists? I have certainly never had it shoved down my throat. And at least the URL's honest.

      Perhaps I should buy icanbarelythink.com and have it redirect to xkcd? Or it could comprise an xkcd frame, an associated xkcd forum thread frame and an associated xkcdsucks post frame, so you can get all your hate on one page.

      Delete
    2. Not sure if icanbarelydraw is a shitty copy of xkcd, or a shittier parody of it.

      Delete
    3. I really, really hope that's a parody of xkcd. It has to be. If not, well, I'll freely admit that xkcd is still better than that.

      Delete
    4. While we're on the subject of shitty xkcd-insprired webcomics, has anyone else read comicjk? That comic is so terrible that I read it when I want to discourage myself from wasting time on the internet.

      Delete
    5. I'm going to assume that comicjk isn't even trying. As in, like, you know when you're sitting in a room and nothing much is going on so you have a hundred fleeting thoughts, 99 of which are forgettable and forgotten? Well, he remembers them and writes them down.

      Delete
    6. Oh wait, please please please tell me this is the dating profile of the comicjk author. Gems:

      * "The area of solar cells needed to power the US is 10% of the area of its paved roads. That's not so bad. I just need to make solar cells as cheap as asphalt."
      * I am open minded, pro-feminist, and sex-positive.
      * I like smart people, from Shakespearean scholars to particle physicists. [especially grating for the lack of symmetry - he has written neither "Shakespeare" nor "people who study particle physicists"]
      * It's like OkCupid for them, except they only care about the pictures.
      * My mile is 4:40 for you running aficionados. I think better when moving than when being still.
      * I spend a lot of time thinking about: beauty and proportion. [this is a dating site, remember]
      * I'm looking for: Girls who like guys; Who are single; For new friends.
      * Speaks: English, C++.
      * Religion: Christianity.

      So, ladies (& gents), whaddaya say?

      Delete
  57. chris houlihan's room

    ReplyDelete
  58. I like the new comic, just because it's actually the female character that's being portrayed as unsympathetic. Not that I have anything against women, but since normally, Randall does the opposite, this anomaly is excellent. Fight it, Randall!

    ReplyDelete