"[a] vitriolic and bitter collection of unwarranted nastiness about a silly and harmless comic."
Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.
I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.
Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.
Was this accidentally posted to Dreamers Often Lie and then removed? It showed up twice in my Blogger news feed but the other one is no longer available o_0. Alzheimer's is setting in early.
ReplyDeleteyes, i do that sometimes
Delete1113: Randy's been reading TVTropes again
ReplyDelete1111:
Delete-
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeAreAsMayflies
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StrawNihilist
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1112:
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanHater
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1113:
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retirony
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenreSavvy
There's one more specific to 1112 (complaining about the balance of games you suck at), but I can't seem to remember the name.
DeleteSCRUB
DeleteOooh now I get it : it will be hilarious again for about ten seconds in January 2013. good job
ReplyDeleteI don't think I get it. It's not just that those lights are giving dangerous, confusing and completely silly signals, is it?
ReplyDeletegoomhr i too cannot cope with modern life
DeleteMost states consider traffic signs to be simple enough that a 15 year old can figure them out. Randy can not.
DeleteThe funniest part is the alt-text, where he describes an entirely consistent set of signals (don't turn, go forward on green only) and expresses genuine confusion as to their meaning.
DeleteNo it's not consistent. The only time where there is a forward green arrow and a red light at the same time is if there is a turn lane. The forward green arrow obviously applies to people going forward, and the red light has to apply to someone: it applies to a turn lane. In this case there is a no turns sign meaning there is not a turn lane, so Randall is left wondering "What is the red light for?"
DeleteRed means "don't go." I hope you don't have a driver's license, 8:57.
Delete4:54 is a dumbass
Delete8:58 is the single greatest road hazard today
Delete5:26 still doesn't get it
Deletejust shut up rob
ReplyDeleteyeah
DeleteAnother breathtaking work of artistic genius. Look at all of those beautiful colors; truly the artist is expressing the song found in his soul. Let's not forget the technical side; only a expert computer "hacker" could have achieved the amazing breakthroughs needed to enable an image to change over time. Most xkcd's are of the .png file-type. Randall has created an entirely new image coding format for this comic, which he has dubbed .gif. Astounding.
ReplyDeleteHave you stopped being relevant, Gamer?
ReplyDelete'cos you've just been OLD.
Are you ice cream, Gamer?
Delete'cause you just got SOFT-SERVED.
are you a petri dish, Gamer?
Delete'cos you just got MOLD
did you corpse, Gamer?
Delete'cos you just got COLD
does your neckbeard conceal a deviant past?
Delete'cos you just got PAROLED
are you one of those libertarians who thinks that power vacuums solve everything?
Delete'cos you just got GOLD
I hope these jokes aren't going too far, Gamer?
Delete'cos you just got CONSOLED
AHAHAHAHAAA!!! If you wait long enough one of the traffic lights is PURPLE!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah this comic isn't very good.
yet you've been staring at it for quite some time
Deletefor the same reasone people stare at you
Deletebecause i have my cock out a lot?
DeleteWhy are the comics numbered that way in the review? Because you're fat, or is there something else factoring in here?
ReplyDeleteALTF you.
Delete1117 - it's funny, 'cause he's unemployed!
ReplyDeleteWho, beret guy or Randall Munroe?
Deleteoh, I get it, trick question
i feel bad for making fun of randy's desperate need for intellectual merit badges now that i know his mom kept him locked in a basement until he learnt to talk
DeleteHow are you?
ReplyDeletePretty chill, baby, and not as bad as all that.
Delete"Imagine the future we'd live in" is another piece of spectacularly unrealistic dialogue. Nobody, from their own perspective, lives in the future.
ReplyDelete"Imagine the present we'd live in" sounds worse :(
DeleteThe realistic dialogue would be more like "Imagine the world we'd live in."
Deletehttp://xkcd.com/276/
ReplyDeleteThis blog is deader than god.
ReplyDeleteLOL PHILOSOPHICAL REFERENCE
Deletecould god make a rob so fat, even he couldn't lift it?
DeleteNot only he can, but he already did that. In fact, Rob's gravitational force is so strong it caused the warping in time-space continuum that allowed a 19th century philosopher to use the internet and also the one that allowed you two to reply to his post before he even made it.
Deleteriiight, because 1 PM and 10 PM are after 12 PM
ReplyDeleteThere's room for dispute about whether exactly midday should be classified as AM or PM, but 12:50 PM is definitely the time ten minutes before 1 PM.
DeleteMidday is meridiem, thus neither ante meridiem nor post meridiem, innit?
DeleteYes, and fifty minutes later is post.
Deleteright, which is exactly my point. Eumesmopo said that the two anon's posted BEFORE Nietzsche in the above post, even though they posted at 10:38pm and 1:10pm and Nietzsche posted at 12:50pm. (i assume he got 12:50PM mixed with 12:50AM?)
DeleteThis is so depressing
DeleteOh. I had already read and forgotten Eumesmopo's post and didn't bother doing it again so figured you were mocking the timestamps themselves. Also I do not approve of the way you do sarcasm. "Are" should have been "aren't." All the smart people agree with me.
Delete1 PM and 10PM are both before, between and after 12PM.
Delete1pm and 10pm are between 12pm?
Delete1pm and 10pm are between 12pm and 12pm. look harder, there is a mistake for you to point out.
Deleteyes, they are between 12pm and 12pm. They are not between 12pm, however, because that makes no sense.
DeleteIf you are referring to the use of 'both' as the mistake, perhaps you should look again.
Idiot.
Is having prolongated and nitpicky discussions a form of running gag I didn't catch up to yet?
DeleteYou're so used to having cock down your throat that you have no gag reflex whatsoever.
DeleteCala a boca e vá chupar uma rola de traveco negão seu boqueteiro viado.
DeleteOingo bongo I likao littleu girlso.
DeleteSomething about closing your mouth and eating a roll of dicks?
Rob, you lazy fuck, hurry up and do a new post. 46 comments is too many to scroll through.
ReplyDeleteamateur. how do you cope when altf is around?
Deleterob is science. altf is a art.
DeleteShe would get her knickers in a bunch over you using the wrong indefinite article if she were here :(
Deleteshe wouldn't mind, because she knows trolling is a art
Deleteit is too bad she can't spot it
DeleteNobody can. Every troll thinks their trolling is the real trolling and the other trolling is the response of a victim. It's a stupid situation which has led to many saying that the person who write the most is the victim, but that's daft. You're trying to goad the other person's emotions, and the number of words written isn't necessarily a good indication of success.
DeleteThe problem is that you never really know for sure what the other person is feeling. You can guess based on what and how they write, but you never know for sure. That's why you shouldn't worry about it. Just muck around as long as you're enjoying it, take pleasure in the collaborative production as a whole, and pay little heed to how many imaginary points you score. I think ALTF knows that much, at least.
Anon@10:39, that's the stupidest post I've ever read on xkcdsucks, and I'm the guy who wrote the "Maybe I'm the first person here..." copypasta.
Delete10:58 is clearly mad
DeleteNo it's not, 10:58. Not unless you do believe you actually know for sure what another faceless person across the other side of the world is truly thinking and feeling, in which case I hope you use your superpower for good instead of evil.
Delete> I hope you use your superpower for good
DeleteThe dominance of capitalism confirms that people almost always use their superpowers to benefit themselves.
The short sighted may consider direct personal gain to be of most benefit to themselves, but is not broader social improvement the most beneficial over the long term? One's highest potential is limited by the constraints of one's own environment, after all. As a wise man once claimed,
Delete"I'm the king of the swingers, the jungle VIP. I reached the top then I had to stop, and that's what's bothering me."
1:39 is the best anon.
DeleteI'm just looking for a good post.
ReplyDeleteITT Randall talks about how masturbatory navel gazing is a poor excuse for a good production.
ReplyDeleteMasturbatory self-congratulation, on the other hand...
It's funny you losers think ALTF owns a vagina.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny you think her true identity matters
DeleteBut I thought she really was a trustafarian's kept woman and UN doctor.
DeleteALTF has been sent a copy of this comment string and is concerned about folks still using the incorrect indefinite article!
ReplyDeleteAnd she does own a vagina - flappy and inelastic, but a vagina nonetheless.
how elastic is your vagina?
DeleteWoah, hang on a second. I just realized that tearing down a crappy webcomic is an entirely pointless way to spend time. Even if it's an undeservedly popular comic. Even if it's only a little bit of time a day. I could be using that time to be producing something of value.
ReplyDeleteWhy haven't I realized this before now? What have I even been doing with my life? What a terrible waste. I should be learning new skills and improving the world in some productive way. I'm so ashamed.
But this blog isn't about xkcd anymore. It's about ALTF. Haven't you been paying attention while spending a little bit of time a day here?
DeleteNice try, Randy.
Deletewhat the fuck does productive mean anyway?
DeleteHey, what was the server password again?
ReplyDeleteoh come on randy can't be so hard to remember "milk" can it?
Hey, you can't be sure it's really me here! You must be more careful! That's exactly what I was trying to explain to you yesterday. You didn't even listen, did you?
* megan disconnected
Also, this connection isn't encrypted. You can't just send such sensitive information [fadeout]
Would have been a better comic without the PPD in the final panel. (Still horrible, but less so.) That "No!" really throws off the comedic timing. I could understand if it was said by the girl giving the password and preceded her other statement (for example, "No! That won't be necessary, I believe you now."), but it seems like it's coming the guy asking for the password. Which, okay, I guess he *really* wants to make that proof-of-identity protocol now that he's thought of it, and that's why he's saying "No!" to being sent the password? Except that nothing is stopping him from making it anyway, so yeah.
ReplyDeleteyour meandering soliloquy has suddenly convinced me of the fact that xkcd is a poorly written, poorly drawn webcomic. thank you, kind sir.
Delete