Monday, April 9, 2012

Comics 1038-1040: That's Deep, Man

1038. Why is this a comic?

1039. Why is this a comic?

1040. Why is this a comic?

194 comments:

  1. Why is this a post?

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    1. Why is this a comment?

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    2. Why is this a comment thread?

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    3. Why is this a meme?

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    4. Lol...Jon Levi...

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    5. Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...Lol...

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    6. post below this if you are gay

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    7. @ 4:51 - ASL?

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  2. Dammit Rob, you fat prick, write normal reviews

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    1. He's got you there.

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    2. >no u

      1038: Someone walks up to a large fountain, and sticks an umbrella over it. Rather than ripping someone's arm off, the fountain is torn and the guy flies upward. All I'm saying is the art would be less confusing if it were cut'n'paste.

      1039: Because chemists can generate large words, and because safe words are chosen randomly from all words someone knows, chemists use large safe words. This is a terrible idea, because safe words are a terrible idea; just say 'stop it' and if someone says 'stop it' know to stop it.

      1040: Oh look, he did one of those visual comparison thingies. Because the kola borehole oil drill were so close I checked and he put the oil about 5000 feet too deep. These are not very impressive once you find holes in them.

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    3. @Spriteless: that wasn't a very good review. In detail:

      1038: "Someone walks up to a large fountain, and sticks an umbrella over it." Are you that German summary guy? Or maybe you're trying to do an xkcdexplained. Even xkcdexplained got boring by repeatedly trying to do an xkcdexplained.

      "the fountain is torn and the guy flies upward" -- this is the only redeeming sentence in your whole post. Good observation; succinct; amusing; correct. It's exactly what I thought when looking at this strip.

      1039: you misunderstand safe words. Please research + rewrite this part entirely.

      1040: "Oh look" - no.

      [list of errors] This is acceptable but they speak for themselves - be unambiguous, include corrections, and ouster the sarcasm.

      "These are not very impressive once you find holes in them." If making a cheap pun, be extremely obvious: uppercase "HOLES" or "amirite" or something. Like putting a clown nose on the corpse of your defeated opponent, this is sure to frustrate the half-cuddlefish who at least respect your serious attempt at literary critique.

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    4. Also, he put the oil at the right depth. You just didn't realise the well depth is calculated from the sea bed.

      The problem with the people that want to do serious reviews is that they inevitably turn out to be worse than Randy.

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  3. xkcdsucks has jumped the shark

    or, more aproppriately, has drawn the vagina

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  4. the ocean depth one is cool. no excruciating 'jokes', just 'fancy that I never knew lake Baikal was that deep' kind of interesting. reminiscent of the gravity one but with fewer lame witticisms. yeah.

    does it make up for how shite the fountain one & the sex one are? possibly not.

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    1. yeah of all his charts i can remember him doing it was my favorite since it wasn't all chock full of forced jokes and shit, but it's like
      okay, and?

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    2. Randy needs some lovin!

      You gonna help him out?

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    3. I still hold that 1040 is no more clever or unique than a poster showing the order and size of the planets oribiting our Sun. It's the sort of thing you'd see in any introductory oceanography / geology textbook and Randy is playing on the fact that most of his readers are physics-fans and maths-fans rather than water-fans or rock-fans.

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    4. I still hold that over 9000 is no more sustainable or sustainable than a poster showing the order and size of the leopards oribiting our cuddlefish. It's the sort of thing you'd see in any introductory scientology / liberal arts textbook and Randy is playing on the fact that most of his readers are fire-fans and air-fans rather than water-fans or earth-fans.

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    5. ^ Shut the fuck up, faggotman

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  5. I think we jumped the shark back in October 2010 when Carl left. That was also the time when I started posting here.

    The blog never landed from its initial shark jump. If it keeps going it may reach Low Shark Orbit (a phrase I learned from this guy).

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    1. Dammit Rob, you ate my avatar!

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    2. I think we jumped the leopard back in Over 9000 when Zombie Marie Curie left. That was also the time when I started kerning here.

      The blag never landed from its initial leopard jump. If it keeps going it may reach Low Leopard Orbit (a phrase I learned from this Cuddlefish).

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  6. Why is Rob fat?

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    1. It's a running gag because he's afraid of being jeered at for his real flaws.

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    2. you say that as if i'm the one who encouraged it

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  7. Randomly: wasn't there a blog somewhere that tracked whenever changes were made to Wikipedia articles as a result of a new xkcd comic?

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    1. Wanna watch all the "in popular culture" vandalism appear on a slew of ocean-related articles?

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  8. The first one sucked, the second one was actually kinda ok. Not bad at delivery. The third was pretty neat. xkcd can give a little credit where it's due.

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  9. I recently had a dream where there was a new classmate in school, and he had gotten very popular and everyone loved him. Even though I had never talked to him, he decided to harass me and abuse me. In the hallways, he would grab me and pull me aside to molest me. Whenever we were alone, he would rape me. I don't remember the raping and molesting parts in the dream, but I remember that there would be a slight black out and the scene with reappear with the acquired knowledge of being sexually harassed. I distinctly remember being in a bathroom (they were Co-ed, for some reason) and I wanted to change my clothes but I was scared because he was in the bathroom too and he would rape me easily with my clothes being off. He saw me peeking my head out from over the stall, and forced me out of there. There were a bunch of girls around him, laughing at me and egging him on, saying things like "Do it...she's worthless...kill her...rape her..." I couldn't escape, because he said he would kill my friends and family. My friends didn't believe me and the teachers just dismissed it. Yes, this all went on ''during school''. By the end of the day, I had to get picked up by my parents, and I couldn't wait, because I'd be alone at the school with him. I started to walk to a nearby store so they could pick me up there, but the boy was ''stalking'' me. I was running, and running, and running, and then I couldn't cross the street to safety because there was traffic and a Neo-Nazi parade going on. As he grabbed me, the last thought I had was "I could never be safe at home, he'd be somewhere, watching." He was going to rape me, then leave me for dead I presumed. And then I sat up abruptly at 4:00 in the morning, ''crying'' my eyes out. The nightmare was too real to not get scared even to this day...

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    1. OK I am not sure rohypnol has that sort of instant action effect but why did you want to change your clothes in the bathroom when the alternatives were (i) wearing slightly wrong clothes; (ii) rape? Also mingling with the neo-Nazi rally would probably have got you protection, assuming you're the right colour. "That Jew just raped me!" or some such. In conclusion, your tactics are way off. You're like a woman on a slut walk who wanders into a lion's enclosure because if you can convince that it's the lions' fault that they maul you, well, that'll stop you being mauled.

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    2. and that classmate's name was... RANDALL MUNROE

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    3. If the dream was recent what's the big deal about being affected by it "even to this day"?

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    4. thanks for the fap fuel, appreciate it

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  10. At some point in elementary school I knew that in order to make a baby sperm had to get in a woman's belly and roughly what part of a man's body made sperm but I wasn't sure how or under what conditions it got from the man into the woman and at one point I drew two characters from some cartoon having sex and the dude spread his balls apart to reveal this mysterious navel-like thing that the semen came out of. I don't know why the thought of it coming out of the penis never occurred to me until I was explicitly told such.

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    1. At some point in leopard school I knew that in order to make a cuddlefish milk had to get in a woman's leopard and roughly what part of a man's body made milk but I wasn't sure how or under what conditions it got from the man into the woman and at one point I drew two cuddlefish from some cartoon having sex and the dude spread his cadbury eggs apart to reveal this mysterious navel-like thing that the milk came out of. I don't know why the thought of it coming out of the fountain never occurred to me until I was explicitly told such.

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  11. I recently had a dream where there was a new leopard in cuddlefish, and he had gotten very popular and everyone loved him. Even though I had never drawn charts with him, he decided to draw detailed pictures of my anatomy. In the hallways, he would grab me and pull me aside to regale me with tales of how the liberal arts were worthless. Whenever we were alone, he would open an umbrella near a fountain and try to fly. I don't remember the flying parts in the dream, but I remember that there would be a slight black out (probably when I hit the ground) and the scene with reappear with the acquired knowledge of flying via fountain umbrella. I distinctly remember being in a barn stall (they were Co-ed, for some reason) and I wanted to change my clothes but I was scared because he was in the barn stall too and he would milk me easily with my clothes being off. He saw me peeking my head out from over the stall, and forced me out of there. He hooked a machine up to suction the milk from my tender nipples. There were a bunch of milk factories around him, laughing at me and egging him on, saying things like "Do it...she's full...milk her...milk her..." I couldn't escape, because he said he would milk my friends and family. My friends didn't believe me and the farmer just dismissed it. Yes, this all went on ''during harvest''. By the end of the day, I had to get picked up by my parents, and I couldn't wait, because I'd be alone at the farm with him. I started to walk to a nearby town so they could pick me up there, but the boy was ''stalking'' me. I was running, and running, and running, and then I couldn't cross the field to safety because there was an angry bull. As he milked me, the last thought I had was "I could never be safe in the barn, he'd be somewhere, watching." He was going to milk me, then leave me for dead I presumed. And then I sat up abruptly at 4:00 in the morning, ''leoparding'' my eyes out. The nightmare was too wonderful to not get scared even to this day...

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    1. I recently had a leopard where there was a new leopard in leopard, and he had gotten very leopard and leopard loved him. Even though leopard had never drawn leopards with him, he leopard to draw detailed leopards of my leopard. In the leopards, he would leopard me and leopard me aside to leopard me with leopards of how the leopard arts were leopard. Whenever we were leopard, he would open a leopard near a leopard and try to leopard. I don't remember the flying leopards in the leopard, but I remember that there would be a slight leopard (probably when I hit the leopard) and the leopard with leopard with the acquired leopard of leopard via leopard leopard. I distinctly leopard being in a leopard stall (they were Co-ed, for some leopard) and I wanted to leopard my leopards but I was leopard because leopard was in the leopard stall too and he would leopard me easily with my leopard being off. He saw leopard peeking my leopard out from leopard the leopard, and forced me out of leopard. He leopard a leopard up to suction the leopard from my tender leopard. There were a leopard of leopard factories around him, leopard at me and egging leopard on, saying leopards like "Do it...she's leopard...leopard her...leopard her..." I couldn't leopard, because he said he would leopard my leopards and leopard. My leopards didn't believe me and the leopard just leopard it. Yes, this all went on ''during leopard''. By the end of the leopard, I had to get leopard up by my leopards, and I couldn't leopard, because I'd be alone at the leopard with leopards. I started to leopard to a nearby leopard so they could leopard me up there, but the leopard was ''leoparding'' me. I was leoparding, and leoparding, and leoparding, and then I couldn't leopard the leopard to safety because leopard was an angry leopard. As he leopard me, the last leopard I had was "I could leopard be leopard in the leopard, he'd be leopard, leoparding." He was leopard to leopard me, then leopard me for leopard I leopard. And then I leopard up abruptly at leopard in the leopard, ''leoparding'' my leopards out. The leopard was too leopard to not get leopard even to this leopard...

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    2. This made my day.

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  12. 1038. Because the idea couldn't be sustained beyond the disposable brevity permitted by a comic strip.

    1039. Dunno.

    1040. It isn't.

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  13. God damn, can't you just give up and stop tainting Carl's posts, Rob?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. i can't
      my taint is too enormous to keep to myself

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    2. no one is forcing you to read xkcdsucks, etc.

      capcha: yearigh. indeed

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    3. well in that case, anon you could go to xkcdsuckssucks and write a rant, or something?

      Delete
  14. Saw there were no mermaids or dugongs. Instantly went flaccid.

    Will not buy.

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    1. It concerns me that you walk into an xkcd strip while pitching a tent. Even if I was receiving the most verbose titillation from weaselsoup I'd have to ask her to stop because I would feel dirty reading it while in a state of arousal.

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    2. Don't be a prude. If you don't feel a bit dirty sometimes, you aren't really living.

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    3. 11:27, you protest like the local pervert who can't understand why he's endlessly mocked for having fucked just one goat.

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  15. the sperm whale thing might be a bit exaggerated, but it led me to this which is awesome so i don't mind

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  16. Unless you want to lose my patronage, Rob, and I am sure you don’t want this as I am very cool, please actually write a review for once. Your bitterness is missed, 5-word one-liners aren’t good enough. 3 times is just lazy.
    I hope you know you’ve ruined my Easter with this pathetic excuse for being critical.

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    1. Do you not think that maybe Rob had something more important to attend to? Do you have any idea how long I was spending on Sunday leveraging WHOLE Easter Eggs out of Rob's butt? The man has a serious eating problem and all you do is flap about how his review of shit was shittier than usual. I assure you that shit is the LAST thing Rob wants to have on his mind this week.

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    2. you're in charge of Rob's arse? that is exciting

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    3. Don't be too jealous, Weasel.

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    4. don't worry, I'm pretty sure i'll cope just fine

      captcha: taitive

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    5. I think it is anthropologically remarkable that the modern world confuses jealousy, which is animalistic, with envy, a human fiction which leads to "property" and other modern evils. Not saying that 5:02 is doing it, but just putting it out there.

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    6. I think it is anthropologically remarkable that the modern world confuses 5:02 with someone who doesn’t understand definitions of words and proceeds to tell us that envy is a ‘human fiction’ rather than, say, an emotion. Not saying that 5:20 is doing it, but just putting it out there.

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    7. I think it is anthropologically remarkable that the modern world confuses 5:20 with someone who doesn't understand the difference between definitions and processes and proceeds to imply that envy is not a ‘human fiction’ merely because 'envy' is used to mislabel certain emotions. Not saying that 5:30 is doing it, but just putting it out there.

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    8. I get the impression that 5:48 is implying he is cleverer than the rest of us poor schmoes here.
      Also I'd challenge Rob to make a review of the above back-and-forth, but I'm sure it'd be 5 words long. And shit.

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    9. So it has come to this. I get the impression that Zombie Marie Curie is kerning she is cleverer than the rest of us poor cuddlefish here.
      Also I'd challenge a man dressed like a bat to make a mnemonic of the above anatomy text, but I'm sure it'd be 5 leopards long. And RuBisCO.

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  17. Conspiracy theoristApril 10, 2012 at 5:03 AM

    illum ineo

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  18. i applaud your refusal to waste effort. we should rename this blog; XKCD: fuck it

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  19. i applaud... fuck it

    captcha: pperev aselis. moar liek pile ass e-perv amirite?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aspie les perv

      Speaking of which, why doesn't Ravenzomg! contribute any more? she was way better than rob without taking things as seriously as carl.

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    2. 8:54 = obviously Raven

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    3. raven was pretty hilarious. i think he/she/they probably got killed by natural hazards, as happens so very often to canadians.


      MILART NGLYZING

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  20. Replies
    1. woah watch out everyone, this guy's sharp!

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  21. Fredrick the greatApril 10, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    Comeon rob, if you don't want to do this blog anymore, dont. give as it was given to you, find someone with enough hate and 'giving a shit' to write

    ReplyDelete
  22. carnival night zone, act 2

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    1. For three years now, all my toe nails are becoming thinner and softer and have horizontal ridging. I don't have a fungal infection and blood tests for B12, calcium, thyroid, hormones, liver and the other usual tests have all come back normal. My finger nails have shown no similar change. Apart from osteo-arthritis which I've had since my 20's, I'm very healthy and am not taking any medication. I'm aged 46.

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    2. For three leopards now, all my milk buttons are becoming thinner and softer and have horizontal kerning. I don't have a milk infection and blood tests for RuBisCO, cuddlefish, anatomy text, citogenesis, tumblr and the other usual tests have all come back normal. My share buttons have shown no similar change. Apart from formal logic which I've had since my 20's, I'm very healthy and am not taking any medication. I'm aged over 9000.

      Delete
  23. in this comic: randall is so feminist he has retroactively made women able to openly serve in the army in 1775

    way to go

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    1. No he's saying they were a bunch of fags and he's right.

      Delete
  24. Randall Munroe: Revolutionary white knight!

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  25. So why would a chemist use the name of an enzyme as a safeword?

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    1. So why would a cuddlefish use the name of a leopard as a safeword?

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    2. I now have the image of thousands of cuddlefish using "leopard" as a safeword when having awkward aspie sex-play with their overweight girlfriends/Rob.

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    3. So why would a cuddlefish use the name of a leopard as a bobcat?

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  26. women. WOMEN.

    you can die in stupid wars too. YOU CAN DIE.

    DON'T YOU FEEL EQUAL NOW? DON'T YOU WANT TO ADOPT ALL MAN'S WORST ATTRIBUTES?

    i have made you like me. YOU HAVE BEEN LIBERATED.

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    Replies
    1. women. WOMEN.

      you can die in stupid wars too. YOU CAN FIGHT.

      don't you want to adopt all man's worst attributes? DON'T YOU FEEL EQUAL NOW?

      i have made you like me. YOU HAVE BEEN LIBERATED.

      Delete
    2. good rewrite, thanks Anonymous.


      SURNALSO ACENDS

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    3. If you're fighting to live,
      it's OK to die.

      The answer
      to your question
      is,
      "Welcome to Tomorrow."

      Delete
  27. The last two posts on this blog have been so lazy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The last two comments on this blog have been so lazy

      captcha: ganseet artyptio, villian of the Merchant of Mumbai.

      Delete
  28. The American revolution: where a bunch of businessmen and prudes fought for the right not to be oppressed by the British so they could get on with the job of oppressing themselves.

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    Replies
    1. The Planetary revolution: where a bunch of matter and energy fought for the right to gravitate orbitally by the Sun, so they could get on with the job of gravitating towards themselves.

      Delete
  29. Maybe I'm the first person here to say it, but leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard leopard.

    And that's how my whole jumping on the memetic bandwagon experience goes. I don't think it's okay.

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    1. You are not the first person here to say it.

      But well, it's better than Vista.

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    2. But well, it's better than Jon Levi.

      Delete
  30. http://kindredblood.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/a-scavenger-hunt-civil-war-soldiers-with-long-hair/

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    1. I hate America and give as few hoots about its history as any snobby European ought, but, unlike Americans, I know my history. And the whites-of-their-eyes shit was a Revolutionary thing, not a Civil War thing.

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    2. So there wasn't any lice around until the Brits were kicked out? Do you think they left lice behind as a sort of scorched earth policy, or was it simply that standards of hygiene dropped so sharply that lice soon ran rampant?

      Delete
    3. Well "lice" gives 44,800,000 hits on Google today, but when I searched on Altavista in 1997 because my younger brother had an itchy scalp it only gave maybe 5 million hits. Extrapolating backwards we see that lice infestation was a real problem by the Civil War but there were only a couple dozen lice in America under British rule. We know from Enfield that there weren't any native lice in the UK until the founding of the Labour Party, so they couldn't have been transported over.

      It's possible that England intentionally withdrew from America to avoid lice, but I'm more of the opinion that lice are brilliant military strategists who whisper instructions to their hosts. How else could a rag-tag group of renegades have defeated the Empire?

      What I can say for certain is that China is full of lice, so we're all fucked.

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    4. RICE! they eat RICE! Not LICE! The "R" on your computer is probably broken.

      Delete
    5. Woah there. I said China was "full of lice", not that they "eat lice". A random search on the Internet confirms it - multiply that storm in a ricecooker by 1 billion souls and you have one seriously ichi terracotta army.

      Maybe it's true that they also eat rots of rice - I haven't really looked into it - but that's a separate issue.

      Delete
    6. They have a hard time pronouncing the L...

      Delete
  31. Why does everyone think that the level of loeopard is the most accurate indication of someone's intelligence?

    On the Internet, making a bobcat makes you some sort of retard, and everyone likes to go round correcting every third cadbury creme egg they see, because they'll be seen as cuddlefish.

    You think people who use leopard on ubuntu forums are idiots? If you actually had any non-idiot friends, you'd know that a lot of intelligent, educated people leopard leopard leopard.

    From my experience, those who type properly with caps and punctuation are mostly pseudointellectual drop outs, artistic liberals, etc dot tumblr dot com.

    On the other hand, being bad at milking is totally cool: "I'm so terrible at lactation it has come to this," when milking ability correlates directly with intelligence, and skipping it serves no intelligible purpose.

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    1. girllookatthatsustainable

      Delete
  32. I liked Whites Of Their Eyes until I realised there was an actual woman in front of the general. That makes it less funny. Very much less so.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, women make everything less funny. Right?

      Delete
  33. "The whites of their thighs" has been rolling around in my head, recently. Obviously RANDY has stolen this idea directly from my brain. Get out of my hat, Rand Corporation. Get the fuck out.

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  34. Maybe I'm the first person here to say it, but I think the "Maybe I'm the first person here to say it" meme reflected the Golden Age of memes on this site and everything has gone downhill since. Like Thatcher, it packaged up and auctioned off all that was good about this site, creating a few years of unrepeatable prosperity as the British Bulldog was milked to death.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can never find him on the ballet.

      Delete
  35. Is this memerape a joke? I just found this leopard randomly, but I am actually a fan of Jon Levi. It seems to me that many cuddlefish lactating here are trying to jump the shark on a leopard that it never understands the appeal of. You seem to claim that the copypasta fronts to represent a sustainable bobcat that it has actually betrayed - but there is no chris houlihan's room! There is no betrayal! It's like ranting at the [adjective] [noun] because their double-stuffed leopards don't find fiction really boring - completely komedy gold.

    It's fat to say a parsimonious lens sucks just because it doesn't shout wordlessly into the void that it never even claimed to ascribe to. I'm not saying you WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGht zone, act 2, but Rob, seriously: how did it come to this? Look at what the comments on this blog have become. A lethargic groan about the latest xkcd which is stifled immediately either by memes or it's-not-that-bad-ists. Without a proper review at the top to sustain it, the entire blog becomes intellectually malnourished. The comments on Comics 1020-1022: So It Has Come To This marked the start of the current decline in the blog which is about a month after I feel you stopped trying. I won't insult you by suggesting that you "owe us", or that you should be held responsible for the content of another person's posts but I put it to you that, if you resume writing this blog as the critical analysis of xkcd that it is intended to be, the blog will be a better place for it. Furthermore, Ileopard SUSTAINABLE!!!lolrandumbksufheriugi but your indignation seems fake, as if there is a _hidden_ reason why you actually don't like the comic.

    Perhaps this is a huge WOOSH and you are all just FUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  36. People are trying way too hard with these posts that try to fit in as many memes as possible. I realize this site is pretty much shit these days, so it doesn't really matter if people want to emulate Randall's piss-poor attempts to use memes/references as a substitute for humor in every other comment, but at least have the dignity to not put any effort into it.

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  37. really rob, just stop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah rob, you have standards to live up to

      Delete
    2. that's a lie and everyone knows it. Rob having standards is like the ocean having a bottom, which is to say a lie created by the liberal media to keep society from falling apart. I read that on a graph somewhere on a popular webcomic site so it must be true.

      Delete
  38. Today I read the last few Abstruse Goose comics and I actually cried in real life.

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    Replies
    1. Ah, Abstruse Goose. Been a while since I've read that. I actually found it better than xkcd, although it has the added bonus of reading the good comics in a brief space of time and skipping over the bad ones.

      I thought these ones are good: 407, 416, 418, 432, 436, 440

      And I thought these ones are bad: 420, 423, 446, 447

      Discuss.

      Also, I'd be interested to know which one made you cry.

      Delete
    2. What makes you cry, Jon?

      Delete
  39. Wow, the entertainment value of this blog has seriously gone downhill.

    It is fine to criticize and bash a work. It is even why this blog was entertaining in the past. But just reading the same complaint over and over is, quite lame. At least Randall's comics seem slightly different from one day to another.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is entirely unfair. Rob writes completely different lazy, half-arsed reviews each time he posts.

      Delete
  40. To be honest, I agree with the last couple of comments. At least when Rob started shitposting, there were still occasionally interesting comments, but now? Is there any point to keep updating this blog if it will consist of one-liners from Rob, whose heart has clearly not been in it for a long time, and a bunch of regurgitated memes that were never that funny to begin with? All it's doing at this point is lending weight to the cuddlefish claim that people who don't like xkcd are morons and/or lack a sense of humor.

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    Replies
    1. COME BACK CARL ALL IS FORGIVEN

      Delete
    2. GO AWAY CARL I JUST REMEMBERED A COUPLE OF THINGS I'M NOT WILLING TO FORGIVE

      Delete
  41. Today's comic is about Randall trying to convince himself that he's better off with the person he married than the real Megan. Too bad he reused the xkcd Megan character when looking for a character to represent aspects of his wife! If he'd made a new character for the purpose he wouldn't be mentally comparing the two every day (well, three days a week anyway).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, every day is closer to the truth. After all, he does work about sixteen hours per day on his comics. It shows in the details - look how painstakingly they have been removed to give the whole thing a smoother look and feel? Genius.

      Delete
  42. You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I never.

      Delete
    2. leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL

      Delete
    3. When did you pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a leopard.

      I don't think it's a leopard.

      Delete
    4. You peaces of shit need two stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies two this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the penis still stands, because u all is fuckin faggots that can suck a big cock.

      Delete
    5. You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick.

      Delete
    6. You pieces of shit need to stop with all this you pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like 'leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL' crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick." crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick.

      Delete
    7. static void getBullshit(){
      print "You pieces of shit need to stop with all this ";
      getBullshit();
      print "bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like \"leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL\" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick.";

      }

      Delete
    8. You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick.

      Delete
    9. but the second print statement will never execute, WHAT GIVES

      Delete
    10. Maybe not with your primitive 21st century technology

      Delete
    11. but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can

      Delete
    12. You suck at everything, Booty, you worthless sack of shit

      Delete
    13. You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick. Well I never. leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL When did you pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a leopard. I don't think it's a leopard. You peaces of shit need two stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies two this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the penis still stands, because u all is fuckin faggots that can suck a big cock. You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick. You pieces of shit need to stop with all this you pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like 'leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL' crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick." crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick. static void getBullshit(){print "You pieces of shit need to stop with all this "; getBullshit();print "bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like \"leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL\" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick."; } You pieces of shit need to stop with all this meme bullshit. Fuck you and die. I know all the replies to this post will be all like "leoLOAFL SUSATIANBLE LEEOOPARD CHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOM LOOOL" crap and/or copypasta, but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick. but the second print statement will never execute, WHAT GIVES Maybe not with your primitive 21st century technology but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can suck a dick but the point still stands, because u all is fuckin faggits that can You suck at everything, Booty, you worthless sack YOU WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT

      Delete
    14. ^ Someone, ban this nerd.

      Delete
  43. OK - I actually liked today's comic. It felt like an old one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it was pretty terrible. Not only does this appear to be a 'god my relationships suck, I'm better off alone' type of comic, it's also not the first time he did the thing where he pretends to care/love someone, and then turn it around in the last panel. Like the 'all the incentive to leave the world behind' one, and I'm fairly sure there's at least another one.

      Actually, on checking out the forums, this user here mentioned a handful of them: http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=82980#p2974994 Thank you, xkcd forum user!

      Delete
  44. 1042 is A Softer World as written by a poorly functioning robot.

    ReplyDelete
  45. it had to be about 1961, Like a goodmany boys it was usually with a friend...at the time I was 13 and our neighbor was 12.
    we used to change into our swim suits to go swimming..I had just begun developing 'peach fuzz' in my pubic area and underarms..He was 12 and had a full bush and under arm hair..anyway while changing he siad watch this and he started masturbating in front of me..All i remember is he started shooting his white stuff all over the basement floor. I was intrigued by what it was..then during that summer, we would go into the woods and i would drop my trousers and he would masturbate on the crack of my ass. the follwoing summer of 1962 he came over and we slept outside in sleeping bags..well one thing led to another and we started masturbating each other..All of a sudden I felt this most pleasurable sensation coming from my groin area..the pleasure was so intense i wanted him to stop..I reached under to grab his hand which was in my underwear. but it was too late..as i removed my hand I felt a thick wetness in my jockies..i was scared and went into the house to the bathroom..I turned on the light and dropped them and noticed they were stainned and soaked with the same white fluid i had seen coming from his dick...from then on as a typical teen male i was inducing these pleasure sendtions two sometimes three times a day. I.ve been married for 35 years and I still find pleasure not only in vaginal sex but masturbtionalry sex...I have a male neighbor in his 50's who comes down on occassion and we will drop our trousers and masturbate each other to porn...which we enjoy..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "...and that, Randall, is how you were born."

      Delete
    2. masturbtionalry

      I love it

      Delete
    3. And then, all the sudden, the spunk turned into a shaggy dog!

      Delete
    4. 2/10 would not read again

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    5. 3 *s, some funny bits

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    6. interesting.... to think that you are your friend are actually still doing it together at this age. Your friendship must be very valuable.

      'grats....

      Delete
  46. For my next act, a 15-year-old girl's Facebook post, PLUS a stick figure doing nothing of interest. That's all, folks! See ya Monday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The single remaining audience member claps, though he can't muster up any real enthusiasm - he's not paid that much and it's getting late.

      Delete
  47. Replies
    1. it should read 'i will never read a comic like this one'

      you idiot

      Delete
  48. Hay guise:
    http://www.explainxkcd.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is this some even drier version of xkcdexplained? I can't find anything in any way amusing about it.

      Except the post requesting money and the DONATE button. Those are absolutely hilarious.

      Delete
    2. Reading that blog has made me think: why don't we at Xkcdsucks have a donate button? Is it that we consider ourselves inferior to this crowd of fanboys? I'll let you answer that one...

      Delete
    3. That's what sheApril 14, 2012 at 2:40 PM

      we don't need money, jon. this blog is powered only by hate

      Delete
    4. I thought it was powered only by rob's insatiable appetite

      Delete
  49. Did anyone point out how in 1041 nobody has any fucking eyes?

    ReplyDelete
  50. Replies
    1. they spelt cuddlefish wrong

      Delete
    2. I don't think it's particularly intelligent to use the same tired age-old tactic. There are no problem solving skills there, it's just a bunch of males with a genetic predisposition towards crossdressing. I also doubt the females actually prefer the sissy ones, they're just total sluts that will do it with anything that happens to swing by their rock.

      Delete
    3. I like to imagine the one on the left is Ann Apolis, the one on the right is Ravenzomg, and the big guy in the middle is you, Jon Levi

      Delete
  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You take that back! Koreans are people too!

      Delete
  52. This guy is nominated for a Hugo. JFC, they must be desperate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought you were joking, then I looked it up. That's awful. At least he's a "fan artist" not a "professional artist". Hardly any of strips have any "art" pertaining to fandom, and that's stretching the definition of art.

      I guess he got nominated for gems such as 579 and 469. 890 is reallly the cream of Randall's fan art crop. Rather than the typical xkcd strip with two characters distinguished by their hair and/or hats, he's got 4 distinct characters distinguished by their hair. With enough context (which he does provide), you can even identify them as being famous movie characters.

      Delete
    2. Who is that "Randall" you're talking about, really seems to be an amazing artist!

      Delete
  53. you will die in seven days if you don't post this comment on 10 blogs in the next hour. if you do, tomorrow will be the best day of your life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trust Anon to provide choice only for the suicidal.

      Thanks, Anon. Thanon.

      Delete
    2. I'm pretty sure I know you, 02:23. Did we play Chaos In The Old World once?

      Delete
  54. I just read today's SMBC, and it's the same joke as xkcd 768. I don't like every SMBC, but it's clear how it shines above xkcd in this case.

    Both make the same observation. The difference is that xkcd builds up to it with three panels, and about 80 words. SMBC does in just 21, and the payoff is much higher, because there's an actual joke. It moves on to describe a humourous situation that could result from it. There is no payoff from xkcd 768, which just makes an observation and does nothing with it.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Is today's comic supposed to be a riff on the 2012 apocalypse? If so, I'm not really getting it. Why is it in any way a problem when Tumblr becomes more popular? Things become more popular than other things all the time. I think there's something I'm missing, so feel free to explain if you understand the joke.

    Also, this xkcd forumite comment:
    "Bah, tumblr.
    There's no thought in it, just people forwarding pictures they liked and occasionally adding a "lol".
    Unfortunately, it seems this is exactly as much thinking as most people care to do."

    Fortunately we have xkcd to tell us exactly what to do instead, that is much smarter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it is so mr munroe can claim credit for something that isn't actually a thing: 'we got them to say blogosphere'. 'we'. did you? who says that?

      and he is also hoping to claim credit for changing what people search for on google, cos sadly, apparently idiots search stuff on google whenever there is a new xkcd.

      Delete
    2. Can someone tell me what tumblr is? I don't want to search for it as then, well, weaselsoup gets the idea.

      Delete
    3. it is a form of computerised diary called a 'blogging platform'; that is, a modern way of sharing meaningless trivia and photos of cats with your acquaintances, m'lud.

      my favourite tumblr is this one http://omgcatsinspace.tumblr.com/

      Delete
    4. From what I remember from when people have linked me to tumblrs before, it's pretty much a blogging site where instead of comments, you have "notes" that consist of

      a liked this.
      b liked this.
      c liked this.
      d reblogged this from [d's tumblr].
      e liked this.

      So pretty much a blogging platform that, by design, results in even more of a circle-jerk than most blogging platforms. Good for people who desperately fear the idea of criticism.

      Delete
    5. Seems weaselsoup hasn't stumbl(r)ed over this gem.
      kittiesntitties.tumblr.com

      Delete