Comic 748: Block Busting

A lot of people have been saying they think this is an above average comic. I try to listen carefully when on-the-fence or mildly-anti-xkcd folks say a comic is good, because I know I will always see xkcd through the lens of running a blog called xkcd sucks. Basically, I know I can make mistakes because of my own biases, and I try to look for signs that I'm being unfair on a certain comic.

But in this case it's not enough. I just think people are being wrong, and I dislike it. I'll admit though, that that's because it plays into some of my own personal pet peeves from xkcd, and not the more general, more objective stuff.

The main one is his terrific hatred, his utter loathing, of the mainstream media. This is, of course, common on the internet, especially among people known to love reddit.

[actually, i have to make a quick interlude on the subject of the reddit store on xkcd: i fucking love that "ladies of reddit" and i shall tell you why it is the best thing ever: 1, it is quite literally portraying women as merely attractive things to be looked at, nothing more, and this comes from the King of Womyn-Defense and Master of the White Knight, 2, they are still selling a 2010 calendar in June 2010, 3, the description says there are still 11 months left in 2010 so you should buy it, meaning the description is four months out of date, 4, they say that the money is going to charities chosen by the women in the calendar BUT ALSO that 100% of the money is going to haiti, which is great but it doesn't make mathematical sense, 5, they say they lowered the price because they were giving money to Haiti (that doesn't make sense, "we are giving the money to charity but don't worry, we also are going to make sure we make less money") when really it's just because they didn't sell and it's already June, 6, the 17 photos of the calendar are full of repeats, 7, i am pretty sure one of the ladies isn't a lady. Not the guy looking at the calendar, one of the actual subjects. THAT IS ALL RESUME REGULAR BLOGGING NOW]

OK, we were talking about reddit or something? And the media? OH YES randall loves to talk about how he hates the msm. The worst example of this is from the comic about bailouts/AIG benefits that made me perhaps angrier than any other comics he's ever made. The driving idea behind more these comics is "media people suck at their job and i know better than all of them." It's actually not a terrible sentiment, the problem is that when you make a comic like this (or write a reddit comment about it...) you will generally come off like a dick. As today's comic does, if you ask me. Particularly panel 2, where Randall has his straw-correspondent shout down the Scientist Hero and her (her!) reasonable logic. The correspondent yells "crew this!" to a scientist?? How much more badly could he have portrayed them?

[update: In response to some comments, I'm going to explain a little more here: I'm not trying to say that the MSM is beyond reproach. The issue is that this comic is making them seem way, way, worse in this case than they actually are. The comic is trying to parody blockbuster director James Cameron's involvement in the oil cleanup process, but it's a really disingenuous parody, because his involvement wasn't the media's fault. read the article I linked to there - he offered to help because he actually has a lot of experience dealing with tons of underwater robots (thanks to Titanic). So it's weird to think of the director of Avatar as being useful here, but a) it's true anyway, and b) Cameron was the one who started it, not the media. They may be doing things badly but turning to hapless directors for sensationalism is not one of them]

Then he gets to his second Theme That Bothers Me, the mocking of big budget action movies. Most clearly stated in this comic, which even uses the very same director. It's not like there's only one joke to make on the subject, but at the same time, xkcd didn't exactly explore all the possibilities here. The plot is creative, yes, I can grant that. But does that alone make it funny? I'm not sure. The story doesn't get comic emphasis (it's not the punchline) and is only funny in a sort of incidental, "hey he will exaggerate it in some crazy way" way. way way way.

Lastly, the comic does another thing that maybe pisses off me and me alone: the not-so-subtle subtle political name drop. Randall pretends that he keeps his "interest" in politics out of his comic (it's not true, as any number of examples can demonstrate) but then includes these irritating little reminders of just how closely he follows politics. There was the fivethirtyeight.com namedrop, the Ben Bernanke one, and that inauguration one, and now, James Carville. Each one makes me want to say "congratulations on knowing about that random thing, and for telling us you know all about it." It may not bother you, that's ok. It bothers me though.

I guess I haven't really talked much about the general substance of this comic. As far as it goes, the structure is ok, there are some inventive ideas, and at least a little effort at art and color. But I can't get around the little problems. If you can, I won't disagree with you. let us see what the next comic has in store!

xkcd store update

this new-stuff-in-the-xkcd-store post turned out way longer than I was expecting. Like the other store posts, I found that I got oddly passionate about the subject. I think it's because this is where xkcd makes money - if it weren't for the store, randall would need a real job. The store is basically the fuel for this comic. Anyway, it's a long and an angry post, feel free to skip it.

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Well, as the xkcd homepage is telling us, there is some new shit in the store. I am the expert on new xkcd shit, so let's take a look.

First off, the prints. Looks like the new ones are comics 627 and 688. Both of these are actually images which I think work better as posters than as a comics - especially the Tech Support one, which literally says it should be printed out and put up (luckily it doesn't say "everyone, buy a print of this in the store, put it up, now you are a computer expert!"). "Self-Description" is really more the kind of thing where when you see it, you say "Huh" rather than "ha," so as a poster, a reader is not expecting a joke, and shouldn't be disappointed. (theoretical experiment for xkcd fans: Put up a poster of "Self-Description" and see if anyone laughs at it and tells you it's funny. no? that is what I thought).

But the broader point about the prints is this: the pricing. Now I'm not the first to bring this up (Rob and Super Sam seem to have been, according to my old e-mails) but look: It's all well and good to charge $15 for prints (well, maybe not, but if people are willing to pay it, fine). But don't go and pretend you are doing some cool, radiohead style edgy anti-corporate rebellious thing. Randall writes that he's pricing the prints "Radiohead Style," but that's a blatant lie. Radiohead style would be letting people pay however much they want, including nothing. INCLUDING NOTHING. That is key. Click that link, and read the last sentence of the second paragraph real close: "And it's perfectly acceptable to pay nothing at all." That's what makes it crazy! No one cares that you could pay more than a usual price for the album, that's not news (What! Radiohead will be glad to take money you want to give them! Well stop the presses, mother fuckers!)

No. The point is that they were giving their album away for cheap or free. That is the news. That is the significance. That is what it means to price something Radiohead style.

To do what Randall does in his story - to say "You can pay me whatever you want, as long as it is above the price of $15, which is, come to think of it, kind of a lot for a black and white printed piece of paper" - that is not selling something radiohead style. That is trying to get their cool cache without having to actually sacrifice any income. LAME.

Also! I know, you thought I was done, I thought so too, but it was a lie - ALSO: Note that the minimum price for all the prints is $15. Right? But look closely! The default price is a whopping $25! If you want to pay less than $25 - I'll remind you that this is for a single sheet of paper with some black ink on it - you have to actively lower the price if you want to pay less than that. Meaning, there is a certain amount of pressure on you if you do so. You may think I am exaggerating and being paranoid, and I am, but I ask you THIS: Why is the default price $25? Why not $15, which is really high enough?


also, it may mean nothing, but I see that comics 500 - 700 are only represented by a mere 4 prints, while the earler comics get 15. I would say that that's because there are fewer good ones recently, but hey, I am probably biased.


Was I going to say something else? Oh yes. The posters! of course. Gravity Wells and Movie Narratives are now available as posters. RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE SURPRISED! I sure am not. The pattern with this is pretty clear: Randall makes a comic that is huge, and detailed, and took a ton of work. It's so big that you have to click it to see it full size, it doesn't fit within the confines of a mere website. And we all go, "dang, say what you will about how lame the content is, that shit took effort." And then he makes it into a poster to sell, and we go "Oh, right. That explains it."

Here, I'll quote from my Gravity Wells post, which in turn quotes from the Movie Narratives post:

The last overly-complex comic he made was the Movie Narratives chart, and back when he made that, I wrote two things about it that I think are worth mentioning now:

But is there anyone out there who seriously doubts that this will not be turned into a poster, probably before christmas, and that Randall had this in mind when he made it?

Clearly my prediction was wrong, and this is still not available as a poster. So I admit that I was overly critical on that one, and Randall did not act as lame or pathetic as I said he would. That's nice. Likewise, I think this comic feels like an advertisement for a soon-to-be-available poster, but until that is actually the case, I for one will not say anything.

Well, so much for that. Now the comic is an advertisement for a poster and I can say whatever I want. What I want to say is this: xkcd, the comic, is basically just an advertisement for xkcd, the store. The comic continues to somehow create this nerd cult for the comic and for its products, and for some stupid reason people don't seem to realise that that's all the comic is. That's why he needs to dumb down the math and science: so that more people will get the jokes, and therefore, will be susceptible to his comic-based advertising.

Look at the 3 newest shirts - woodpecker polo, Mr. Hat polo, raptor polo - and the tie, as well, which is new: none of them make sense on their own. They don't have a self contained joke, like the old shirts. A person who does not know xkcd will not understand those shirts. And that's the point! The point is so that people can buy them and feel like they are part of the club, and have fake-nerds come up to them and compliment them on their shirts and make them feel special, or so that non-xkcd fans can ask about them and the wearers can feel superior while explaining this particular piece of the Club Uniform. The comic just advertises the shirts etc and gives readers a false sense of nerdiness and non-cool coolness. People buying the shirts makes Randall realise he has to keep appealing to as broad an audience as possible.

it's a terrible cycle and i hate it, the end.

Comic 668: Deeply Embarrassing

Apparently I was one of the few people who didn't think this graph was all fucked up. Maybe if I look at it real hard I can see that "Deeply embarrassing music" should really be inside the circle it is next to, but honestly, I got the point pretty easily. Far be it from me to dismiss a criticism of xkcd, but I don't really care about that one. How odd.

Leaving that aside, the comic is not too bad. The point is simple - "Pandora plays embarrassing music when people are around" - and simply executed, so it's not likely to make me froth about in a bitter rage, as so often happens (you really should not be near me when I read a new xkcd comic). I didn't find it all that funny - in part because I only listen to embarrassing music, so I am used to this, and also because I tend to listen to Pandora on my own or with headphones (because all my music is embarrassing). Part of me wants to say "why the hell is he making this comic now? Surely he's known about pandora for years, right?" but again, that's not really enough. The worst thing to be said about this comic is that it is oh-so-similar to comic 400, and that's not something I can defend it on. That is just a problem.

Those of you disappointed that I am not more angry today, read on.

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Unrelated to the current comic, but I've been glancing through the xkcd store as it quietly adds new products, and noticed this.

I think that the xkcd store selling shirts entirely based on a joke from the Simpsons movie is pathetic. The writers of that movie worked hard to come up with the script and to take their work and make money off of it is just wrong. I'm not talking about a legal, Creative Commons style debate - I'm just talking about what is being a dick and what is not. (hint: this is being a dick!)

update: No, I don't care that it is being sold to supposedly give money to some charity somewhere. And I also don't care that some comic book once made a similar character in like the 80s or something for a 17 issue kids comic series. the xkcd store fucking quotes the movie. OK? shut up and i hate you all.

Come Quicker! Shittier, Newer Clothes To Buy!

SO in between all the madness about the xkcd book and the xkcdsucks book, I noticed that there are a whole bunch of new things in the xkcd store! LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

(before we get started, note that I have already commented on the xkcd tie and the linux shirt)

Let's start with shirts, and go top to bottom:

#1. Mr. Hat Polo Shirt. Here is what it looks like:


OK, basically your standard polo shirt, with the standard design in the left breast pocket area, except that it's Mr. Hat instead of like an alligator or whatever. That strikes me as a little weird, but I guess some people just love Mr. Hat. Let's take a close up look at the design:
Man, when you see it like that it seems kind of pathetic to pay $48 for this, no? I mean I know polo shirts are a little expensive but given that the only added value this one has is like a few dozen stitches that basically look like someone with a not-so-steady hand used a marker to draw a stick figure on your shirt. And given that polo shirts are usually worn in slightly more formal situations, isn't a crappy picture of a stick figure the last thing you would want in one of those situations? Especially because basically no one will recognize who he is. So wouldn't it be better to just buy a regular polo shirt, find a marker, and write "I READ COMICS" on the shirt? Yes. Yes it would.

Moving on-

#2. "Woodpecker"

This one is really quite puzzling. Like the Mr. Hat polo, this one features a design only in the top left quadrant of the shirt, and it is also mysteriously poorly done - look especially at the choppiness of the power cord itself. Do these shirts look as crappy in real life as they do on screen? Why would anyone want a product so badly made?

But this is an even more obscure shirt than the Mr. Hat one - because it references only a single (highly forgettable) comic. Given that the bird just looks like, well, an ordinary, non-woodpecking bird, I doubt anyone without knowledge of that particular xkcd will have any clue what the hell is happening on that shirt (how often will a wearer have to say something like "no no no, it's a woodpecker, get it? And it has a drill? So it can use the drill instead of its nose? GET IT? ah fuck it, you just don't get it.").

Actually, I hope to run into someone wearing this shirt just to make them say that.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG.

#3 Tech Support Flow Chart

This is just the chart from this comic, though it has helpfully had most of the words that gave it context removed. Actually, I don't think this one is half bad. I only wonder how large it is printed - how close will you have to be to someone's chest to read it? And how awkward will that be?

OH GOD I JUST HAD A HORRIBLE THOUGHT.

maybe randall is secretly putting so much text on a shirt in order to encourage people to stare at each other awkwardly, from really close distances, so that Randall himself can do this without being mocked.

oh god oh god oh god i figured it out.

#4. Correlation Shirt

This shirt is just a comic slapped on fabric. A comic which I was pretty ambivalent about when it came out, but I think as a shirt it is even worse. Shirts should be simple. They have a a slogan, perhaps, but not a story (and this comic is a story, however simple). Glance through the topatoco shirts and see what I mean. (though some shirts deliberately subvert this....) Somehow, this concept just strikes me as very strange to put on a shirt. Not to mention lazy.

On another note, I hate how Randall feels like he has to include a stupid joke in each item description. None of them are funny, all of them feel forced. This shirt gets: "It looks good on you with certainty p>0.95 (although don't push your luck by asking for certainty to a third standard deviation)." How dumb is that? Actually, it gets better - he's wrong. Certainty isn't measured in standard deviations, so his parenthetical command is stupid. It should be "a third degree of confidence" because that is what p is a measure of. If he wanted a Standard Deviation line it would be like, "this shirt will look good on the median 95% of the population (but don't push your luck by asking for it to look good on a third SD of the population)" or something to that effect.


OH GOD ARE THERE STILL MORE?

#5. Shark.


This one pisses me off too, for the same reason the Mr. Hat polo shirt and the Woodpecker shirt piss me off. No one will know what the fuck this means, unless they remember the xkcd comic it is from. And I bet you even a lot of xkcd readers will not remember it. Try it though - e-mail this image, free from any identifying data, to a friend of yours who reads xkcd. See if they get what it is.

I guess the idea is that if you like science, you are supposed to wear this shirt to show that science is cool. In that sense, it's just like a black and white, confusing, strange, esoteric version of "Science: It Works, Bitches." We know you like science, we like it too. That's part of why we're here. But we don't need another shirt about it. You already have a perfectly decent one!

OK FINALLY I AM DONE.

oh fuck no i am not.

real fast: Mousepad:


I actually kind of like this. Apparently it's the back of the xkcd book, too. It's a wacky design, it clearly took more effort than all the new shirts put together, and it has a crazy energy about it, a sort of Rube-Golberg-eque quality that fits what xkcd once was. So I will stop this crazy long review of new products on that high note.

god that was too much writing.

come quick! shitty new clothes for you to buy!

Ah, the xkcd store. Where loyal xkcd readers can prove their unabashed love for the comic by buying a shirt or some other crap. HEY KIDS, don't you want to be as attractive as this dude or possibly girl?
I'll say you do!

Anyway the store is the thing which keeps Randall going, which lets him put all his effort into his little comic so he doesn't have to get a job and do something more productive, like be a Wal-Mart greeter.

Anyway the point is only a limited number of people want to read a dumb non-comic about people who wear hats and they will only buy a certain number of copies of the same old boring shirts, so he needs to always make new shit to sell these people. (Yes, I just wanted to add a link in to yesterday's post. I am proud of it.) HENCE the new shirt, which looks like this:

What it is is a linux cheat sheet, basically a list of some commands that the 1% of you who use Linux (ok, ok, the 1% of us, because I am one) might want to use but not remember. The idea is that is upside down, so you can read it while it is on your body. Obviously, this is a useless shirt.

FINE I will list the reasons it is useless:

-When you are not wearing this particular shirt, it is not useful

-When you are wearing it is basically no more convenient than a piece of paper, or a file on your computer with the actual cheat sheet.

-If any of the ink comes off, good luck reading those commands - they're pretty tiny

-COME ON you are using Linux, you should be nerdy enough to memorize these.

-How many people are actually going to think "Ho ho, it's computing day for me, why don't I make sure to put on my special computing shirt to help me!" ? I suspect it's more likely that these people never leave their homes and never change their shirt.

SO the shirt is worthless, or at least the image on the shirt is worthless. What's the point? I posit: To prove to other people that you are a fan of xkcd and a nerd. This shirt, like using the godforsaken word "blag," is just a way to telegraph that you like xkcd to the tiny percentage of people you will meet in the real world who will know what the hell it is. Wearing this shirt, in other words, is the clothing equivalent of correcting people on their use of "there's" vs. "there're" in casual spoken language. You might feel good about it but everyone else thinks you're a dick.

In other words, you might as well just buy this shirt instead:


For those of you wondering what I think about another certain new shirt, I think that the new Dinosaur Comics shirt is awesome. Why do I think that? I'm not going to tell you; this is "xkcdsucks" not "dinosaurcomicsrock."