873. As is Randy's wont, he was enjoying some of the fine art of "video games" one fine evening, "fragging" the various "avatars" of his opponents. He did not feel that he was particularly good at it, but his opponents kept calling him a "nub" whenever he killed them, which he assumed was a good thing. But the mind of a genius can never turn off, and neither can the mind of Randall Munroe. As someone using the built-in voice chat protocol logged in and sounded disturbingly feminine, he had a breakdown.
Any one of these people could be a woman, and I've been KILLING them. And--oh God--what if one of them was MEGAN???????
Thinking about the possibility that he might be doing violence to women sapped all joy from the game. But of course, the popular internet blog "xkcd is frequently less than ideal and we would like it to be better" often calls him out for his white knighting. Of course! If you were forced to remember that people are human, and have real stories and quirks, you would hate playing FPS games! Mindless violence is terrible! Especially against women!!! I'M SORRY, MEGAN!!!!!!
874. I admit I have a seething disdain for people who obsess over "life hacks" like this. Far too many people I've known focus on these things. I used to hang out with people who name-dropped things like "inbox zero" and talked about how they managed their productivity all the time, and it was utterly loathsome.
So on some level I can get behind the sentiment here--these people are terrible and need to be mocked. But, as with most of Randall's satires, it doesn't mock, it merely presents something he thinks is ridiculous. "What if those productivity people just fuck around all day? LOLOLOLOL"
Not funny, Randy. I realize you're incapable of developing characters or offering insightful commentary, but could you at least make an effort?
EDIT: Oh yeah, here is a fellow who is posting webcites of new XKCDs as they come up, so we can preserve his errors forever: http://xkcdwebcited.blogspot.com/
Sunday, March 20, 2011
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What a coincidence, the latest Blub Cheese is about violence against women too.
ReplyDeleteAlso, first!
"[...]but could you at least make an effort?
ReplyDeletePosted by Rob"
[Doesn't need commentary]
noooooooooooooooo
ReplyDeletePlease post the goddamned comics so I don't have to actually go to xkcd.com.
ReplyDeletenah
ReplyDeleteI'm tired of all this hate directed at vegetarians! Just because you think it's "stupid" to be a vegetarian doesn't mean you have to rip on a comic that's written by a vegetarian! Maybe if you didn't constantly stuff corpses into your mouth people wouldn't make fun of you for being overweight, did you ever think of that? Vegetarianism is a healthy lifestyle!
ReplyDeletePositive note about Randy's radiation chart: At least he didn't try to sketch out the chart in his "style" and save it for Monday's comic/make it a poster.
ReplyDeleteNegative note: He puts more effort into his random blag posts than the actual comic.
Rob's just mad because he's not productive.
ReplyDeleteGod I love eating corpses.
ReplyDelete@LesLegumes : wait, Randy's a vegetarian? If true, it's a new reason to hate xkcd. Source?
ReplyDeleteYOUR website sucks. XKCD may not be always funny, but so what? Who cares? Are you jealous?
ReplyDeleteThis is the biggest troll i've ever seen.. dude, d you realise you took the time to actually set up a whole website just because you don't like a little webcomic... :D
U NEED TO GET A LIFE AND TO GET LAID
I just set up a new blogger blog in less than a minute. just FYI.
ReplyDelete@Abdelhamidem: Actually, Carl started it and we just took over when he left.
ReplyDeleteWe're like Hermit crabs, except more angry.
And thanks to abdelhamidem, we have met our obligatory retarded cuddlefish post of the thread. Thanks bro! Now go back to licking the lead paint.
ReplyDeleteSo you set a blog about ham just because i'm called Abdel...? Figures you'd be a racist too.
ReplyDeleteactually i did it because i am very fat
ReplyDeleteRob, could you shift to the left a bit? I'm trying to get some bedclothes out of my cellar but one of your rolls of fat is in the way.
ReplyDeleteok
ReplyDeleteYeah right your picture is right there i can SEE your not fat...if that is really you. I bet all you haters here are racist anyway. Trolls = racists. FACT.
ReplyDeleteRob you really do look like a Muppet in that photo what is up
ReplyDeleteRob, yesterday
He can see your not-fat, Rob. It's everywhere in that picture.
ReplyDeleteOnly Capn and ALT-F are racists around here.
Captcha: Burbsor. A middle-class Pokemon.
Go read the I Ching, Paco.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it, if anything, has to do with the ham in your name, fuckhead.
OH MY GOD THE NEW ONE CONTAINS ACTUAL HUMOR!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for proving my point, Anonymous at 8:55pm.
ReplyDeleteI tried parodying XKCD#873, but instead I sketched Death. And then turned it into a parody. However awful that is, I can at least be proud that it's better than a guy with a controller.
ReplyDeleteCaptcha: Layse. Rob is very much so.
Shut the fuck up, abdel, why do you think I am so excited at this tiny bit of comedy? Because it is so rare you moron. Geeze I mean what is even with these people up in and around here with their hating and their being haters.
ReplyDeleteI haven't shown any hate i just pity you if this is how you spend your time... but i'm glad you like the new comic. Maybe you can learn some tolerance.
ReplyDeleteMy god. What have I become?
ReplyDeleteI speak of tolerance, but don't even pretend to tolerate other people on the internet, instead accusing them of racism, and pitying them for some reason.
I *am* the problem, after all, like Dad said I was.
Everyone knows that other "personalities" on the internet are 100% bots. There's only one real person here, and I think we all know who that is.
ReplyDeleteJesus?
ReplyDeleteIt is easy to tell that you are copying my name when you dont have a proper profile...so ironic.
ReplyDeleteI... I kinda like the new comic.
ReplyDeleteWat i do nau?
Irony doesn't work that way.
ReplyDelete@Anonhamidem: Irony works however the speaker wants it to work. This is the internet, after all, and using English correctly is the least of our worries.
ReplyDeleteDude, your ignorance is funny... :D
ReplyDeleteAbdel, I would care less if xkcd was just not always funny, but as it turns out, xkcd is always not funny!
ReplyDeleteAnd that bothers me to the point that I visit this site three times a day for two to five minutes or so to read funny comments. And also stupid ones like yours.
@Kitten: Well, it does happen. Unless you believe Mole, but I am willing to call his bluff... I thought #873 was okay. Everyone here has found at least one comic within the last 100 that they thought was entertaining, although I don't think there's ever been more than a 40% consensus per "success".
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's 'cause we're all just cretinous and fictional racist monsters.
"Abdel, I would care less if xkcd was just not always funny, but as it turns out, xkcd is always not funny!"
ReplyDeleteEven the new comic, which people here have already said they like? Mr. Munroe makes good comics frequently, you all are just stuck in your stubborn ways...
I came back here to look for a review of the radiation thing. I am disappointed.
ReplyDeleteAbdel, why are you so racistist?
ReplyDelete"Mr. Munroe makes good comics frequently, you all are just stuck in your stubborn ways..."
ReplyDeleteHe also makes shit comics frequently. More frequently, in fact, than he makes good comics. So your crap about 'being stuck in your stubborn ways' cut both ways, considering that most XKCD followers are really just fans of habit by now.
And don't call him 'Mr. Munroe.' It makes him sound somewhat important.
2017? Psh, everyone knows the world ends in 2012.
ReplyDeleteNo. Impossible. I... actually liked it.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the three wolf moon thing is a bit behind as always, but that seems to be the point of this comic, if it weren't IMPOSSIBLE.
See it's funny because they're both smug pricks.
ReplyDelete@abuhamilton:
ReplyDeletethere is like one anonymous post that says the newest comic is funny
but yeah i guess that is a representative sample of the site and that "people" here have said they like the newest comic
if your trolling were slightly less obvious you could probably coax me into more of an argument but your showed your hand a little too early with the racism thing
so uh xkcd still sucks nobody here is forsaking the intent of this site on the basis of one mediocre comic and i wish you luck in your future trolling endeavors
New comic: funny, original, i liked it.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't like is you all, because you are racists. Being racist is a horrible thing to do.
Yeah. Stupid racists.
ReplyDeleteJews and Blacks are not a race.
ReplyDeleteBecause if I admitted that, I would also have to admit they're human.
Too far man. Too far.
ReplyDeleteCaptcha: greenuta
Always trying to shove that subliminal environmental shit down everyone's throats, eh google? No more regulations for the unionized transportation authority! Enough is enough!
Reboot does a Redux countdown: 21
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of going back in time: http://xkcd.com/102/
ReplyDeleteSomeone explain to me how these comics are in any way different
Because now there's profanity and CURRENT EVENTS.
ReplyDeleteI am not a troll, i am just saying that most trolls on the interent are racist, like the one OBVIOUSLY trying to copy me at 5:36am.
ReplyDeleteYou people have too much time. I repeat, YOU LOSERS NEED TO GET A LIFE AND GET LAID... :D
... says the troll posting for the past two days, on a hate blog of his favorite thing.
ReplyDeleteAnon 5:51:
ReplyDeleteIn 875, the joke is that a guy doesn't understand the common phrase " called".
In 102, the joke is that a guy built a time machine and went back in time correcting only minor things important to himself and not to his female friend whose father died.
@5:51
ReplyDeleteThe punchline is the same, or at least the same category, but the setup is different.
I like 875's version of it better. Both a good idea and well executed. 102 took a little while to setup for the same payoff. But that's the first decent criticism I've seen for it.
Just gonna wait here while Rob hamfistedly shoehorns another fanfic, since he usually does shit reviews when it's a good or meh comic.
Captcha - xkowf: A webcomic of barking, fetching, cats, and butt-sniffing.
Abdel, please define troll for me. This is a site dedicated to hating on xkcd.
ReplyDeleteUnder the conventional definition of troll, posting hateful comments on a hate blog is not trolling. Posting worshipful comments about xkcd here could be considered trolling (just as posting hateful comments on the xkcd forums could also be trolling).
Abdel, do you have some weird new definition of trolling, or are you just stupid?
Hmkay, so I didn't see the newest comic when I posted my last comic. As it turns out it actually is a funny comic...
ReplyDelete...after 50 unfunny ones. Abdel, stop trying to convince yourself that Randall "makes good comics frequently". Once a year is not "frequently".
Back to talking about the comic: yes, it is funny. I actually laughed. It's shoddily drawn, but I guess asking for decent art is too much already. Let's stick with a good joke for starters.
Now, if Randall can actually manage to keep a good streak for a week, then I can start having hope for xkcd. For now, I think this is xkcd's swan song. The last remnants of humor before it gets back to devolving into an unstoppable shitstorm.
It can't have been written by Randall.
ReplyDeleteThe people talk as though they are people, and that's simply not dialogue Randall has ever written in his lifetime.
He overheard it at a party. That someone on IRC told him about. Who in turn heard it from their flatmate's brother. That many degrees of seperation is plausible because of how good the comeback is.
"You people have too much time. I repeat, YOU LOSERS NEED TO GET A LIFE AND GET LAID... :D"
ReplyDeleteYea, Abdel, that's why I only replied to your comment hours later: because I waste all my time in xkcdsucks. You loser need to get a brain and start thinking.
Anon7:42, I believe Abdel is conforming to the modern definition of a troll, i.e., someone who disagrees with you. It's really sad that, just like irony, almost nobody seems to know what a troll is supposed to be.
CAPTCHA: munre. Wait, what?
The new comic was funny. I liked it. Yes, it may be a repeat of 102, but it's an improvement. The pacing is better, the current events are current, and the art aspect contributes to the joke, rather than just being pictures slapped onto a script. I'm impressed.
ReplyDeleteRegarding Abdelhamidem. Now can we all prepare ourselves for Rob's word secretions?
ReplyDeleteYou make an entire website dedicataed to trolling Mr. Munroe and you call ME the troll?
ReplyDeleteBut some people are willing to say they like this comic. It is nice to know i have changed some minds. Now you can go and live your lives maybe :)
Good to know that the moment someone disagrees with you they suddenly have lives again.
ReplyDeleteAbdel what you don't know is all of us do xkcdsucks to stop us from going out on the streets and doing racialist killings
ReplyDeleteso by telling us to go and live our lives you are literally ordering us to go out and lynch black people
you MONSTER
Ok, i GET IT. Mr. Mason wasn't making a racist joke. At least i can admit my mistakes. Some of you here are doing so to. When will you others do the same?
ReplyDeleteObvious fail troll is obvious fail.
ReplyDeleteI told you I'm not a troll. And I'm NOT failing!!!! YOU PEOPLE DON'T HAVE A LIVES UNLESS YOU LIKE xkcd (Mr. Monroe's preferred presentation)
ReplyDeleteAsSalam alaykum!
ReplyDeleteSo, where do I start... I don't like talking about myself, but I'll let you know that I'm a single multi millionaire, a scholar in Islam, and I'm tall, and strong, and funny, and smart, aaaaaaand...... just kidding! :D
Haha, disappointed? Sorry, I'm not really the muslim version of Brad Pitt you were expecting to find :o). I'm more like some kind of muslim boy next door. Of course, it depends on where your door is.... mine is in Morocco!
Now, I don't think it's appropriate to say how smart and nice and whatever quality I may have. Instead, I'll tell you what I like and what I don't like and some facts.
I like : cinema, travelling, ancient history, technology, bicycle riding, ecology, science, international politics, and reading in general.
I don't like: onions.
What I'm doing with my life: I'm working in the IT field, while trying to get a master's degree in computer science.
Flaws: My knowledge of Islam is not as it should be for a muslim my age, but I'm working on really hard. Also, I can't read classical arabic as you could expect me to! I speak french mostly, and moroccan arabic, but I don't think that will do you any good.
From a religious point of view, I am a muslim of course, but not one of those angry fundamentalists. I am very open to discussions, I do my best to keep an open mind on most issues. It is very important to me that you be the same. I'm also interested in other religions/philosphies...not that I plan changing religion...but I think it's very important to have a broad view on these things.
You can have a pretty good idea about my personnality if you know about MBTI psychological categories.
Now, who wants to be my submissive wife? :D
??
ReplyDeleteThe last two posts weren't mine, and I have no idea what they are talking about. You wrote all that for what reason?
And you say you have lives... :D
It says Abdelhamidem and has the [B] by the name, proof enough for me.
ReplyDeleteDid you take your meds today?
Fun fact: Someone here is getting punk'd.
ReplyDeleteAnd one of them is Abdelhamidem.
I would love to meet Demi Moore... :D
ReplyDeleteAlso he's a filthy minority and deserves to be mocked.
ReplyDeleteOh Abdel fake capn 10:14, you catch on quick don't you?
ReplyDeleteBut everyone knows I'm not the prudish kind to block my profile.
I've done this dance before, and like always, I'll lead... :D
Captcha: chessess, what Deep Blue measures itself in.
"Oh Abdel fake capn 10:14, you catch on quick don't you?"
ReplyDeleteMuch quicker than you, Capn, much quicker than you.
Innit?
Capn, you are clearly just too sexy not to emulate.
ReplyDeleteWell played.
ReplyDeleteNow tell me how cool I am, Capn.
ReplyDeleteYou duped a nay sayer at the beginning and it paid dividends, I congratulate you on your results, but worry about your persistence.
ReplyDeleteU NEED TO GET A LIFE AND TO GET LAID
ReplyDeleteCAN I BE ON THIS BLOG AFTER I HAVE BOTH OF THOSE THINGS?
ReplyDeleteAlways worried about my longevity, Capn :) I would have loved to continue but I should probably do some actual work now.
ReplyDeleteRaven, U R SO CORRECT I AM GOING TO GO AND GET LAID RIGHT NOW.
Is the exclamation mark a permanent new feature?
Captcha: Calmic. What goes around, comes around and plays soothing music and runs you a bath.
Kassedédi à tous les Marocains qui lisent xkcdsucks!
ReplyDelete"My knowledge of Islam is not as it should be for a muslim my age"
ReplyDeleteThis is a really weird thing to say...
the fuck is this bullshit
ReplyDeleteYou guys do know that the original Abdelhamidem posted exactly one time and never came back, right?
ReplyDelete@12.13: shush; we're having fun
ReplyDeleteyou guys are really dumb.
ReplyDeleteprotip: random passersby trolls do not know my last name
Maybe he's your biggest fan.
ReplyDeleteRob's his own biggest fan.
ReplyDelete(because i'm fat)
ReplyDeleteIsn't every troll on here just another one of your rolls of fat gaining sentience?
ReplyDeletemost of them
ReplyDeleteAny one ever notice that there are no black people in xkcd? My guess is that Megan left Randall for a black man and his large veiny cock. It would explain 194.
ReplyDeleteGuys I have huge news:
ReplyDeleteI have a thing for the number 8 (yes in "that way") so I will stop visiting Xkcd after #888. Because I hate you guys a little less I will leave this blog following #900. After that I will thoroughly delete every memory that Xkcd ever existed and ignore any future mentions of it.
Pray for my success to remove it from my life.
-Zed
Hmm, racist comments and boring arguments... over a web comic. I think I'll leave now.
ReplyDeleteNo, come back 6:37! Please, it's all just a terrible misunderstanding! We need you!
ReplyDeleteI need you!
I sincerely doubt you need me, you confused kitten. Also, couldn't Rob be sued for libel or slander (I always forget which one is which) against Mr. Munroe?
ReplyDeleteno
ReplyDeleteWait, you actually came back?
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with you? Fuck off already.
I like Rob's certainty in his answer. :P
ReplyDeleteThe Kitten Of Confusion, no need to be rude.
It's libel.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's required that the claims actually be false.
And I doubt a medical marvel like Rob could even make it to the hearing.
@Booty a whole bunch of people seeming to take him seriously is failing? Or, if they weren't really taking him seriously and were just playing along, who do you think you are to crap all over everybody's fun for no reason?
ReplyDeletelook, anon659, everyone who enters this site has failed. Hell, everyone who enters the internet more than once a day has pretty well failed.
ReplyDeleteWe're all failures -- admit it.
Wherever someone forces that last slice of pizza down, Rob is there.
ReplyDeleteWhenever a 16 oz steak is ordered, Rob is there.
Whenever someone books two seats on a plane for just themselves, Rob is there.
For every pair of 50" waist jeans sold, Rob is there.
Wherever the gluttonous gather, in every steakhouse and McDonalds and Burger King, in every bakery and butchers and deli, Rob is there.
Rob is in every oily, yellow fat cell in your body, in every molecule of cholesterol clinging to your arteries, in every bead of perspiration dripping from your lazy, bulbous brow.
When the mere thought of another cupcake crosses your mind, Rob is there, licking his dribbling lips and growing ever larger.
Rob could make it to the hearing.
Thus proving my theory that Rob only hates xkcd because Rob is fat- which is caused by his lack of being a vegetarian- and thus he hates Skinny Randall, the Vegetarian.
ReplyDeleteare you kidding? vegetarians are pretty much all fatties. vegans are emaciated fuckers, but vegetarians, not so much
ReplyDeletei might like the new comic a tiny bit if it did not feel so much like something i have seen before scores of times on family guy
ReplyDeletehaha who am i kidding i will never acknowledge an xkcd comic as anything less than mediocre
The new XKCD is... Acceptable. However with how bad it's gotten in the past few years, acceptable becomes amazing for him. If he keeps it up we'll see. I doubt that will happen.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to do for the new comic what Carl used to do when a comic was good: admit it and write a nice review.
ReplyDeleteI'd like ROB to do, etc...
ReplyDeleteThere's no way I will put any effort in writing a review.
And what makes you think Rob will?
ReplyDeleteRob has a big heart in absolute value. The problem is when we measure its size relatively to the overall size of his body, which is huge (because Rob is fat.)
ReplyDeleteKissing Rob resulted in a net transfer to me of Avogadro's number of colloidal phlegmbots. Fortunately nary a cheese-like smegmabot was to be found after I hosed him down prior to our carnal congress.
ReplyDeleteThank godemichets for little mercies.
Innit?
I just got my new WiFi enabled OhMiBod Mp3 'friend'. I reckon I'll try it out with Edvard Grieg's 'In The Hall Of The Mountain King'.
ReplyDeleteInnit?
Try this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN2zcLBr_VM&feature=related
Captcha: Ardabio. What ALT-F does after.
Cagey little kitty ain't you?
ReplyDeleteSex with Rob is four minutes thirty-three seconds of cracking cocaphony.
Guys, I like the new one. Was it brilliant? No. But I laughed at it. And if I laughed all XKCDs I'd still be a fan.
ReplyDeleteOh God...
ReplyDeleteIf these are the sort of comments that my comic inspires, then I give up. I mean I tried to educate the unwashed masses and /b/tardedness of the internet; but clearly I have failed.
I will be ending xkcd soon. I will just post the remainder of my year-long backlog, until early 2012. Then I will give up comic-making and become a regular IT consultant.
There's no reason to think that you pressured me into doing this. I have been reading this site since it's inception. It is not the negativity of the reviews that put me off, but the fact that your comments are fucking peristeronic* as shit.
Captha: Revert. I wish I could revert the last four years of my life.
*of or pertaining to pigeons
^would've been more believable if it had been "around the end of 2012", you know, since geeks' worlds are centred around XKCD and-- ah, whatever. Fill in the gaps yourselves [not that you know a lot about that! [zing!]].
ReplyDeletealso it should have been "mild-mannered IT consultant"
ReplyDelete".....fucking peristeronic* as shit......"
ReplyDeleteThis renders your Comic #798 inaccurate now.
I hope you're satisfied!
FUCK. Out of boredom I decided to check in on QC after like 2 months of not reading. And THIS is what I see!?
ReplyDeleteFirst, it's like he's mocking me by having the first words appear to me as "That was unexpected", and Second, NO IT WAS NOT EVEN AFTER NOT READING FOR 3 MONTHS.
Anyways, that's all.
Captcha: sking. Still looks more correct than skiing somehow.
I admit, when I first saw the latest xkcd I really felt it was like the Ke$ha one- that Randall just found out about the three wolf moon shirt in his Wikipedia/TVTropes travels and decided to make a comic about it. Points for realising it was old and turning that into the basis for a not-unclever joke though.
ReplyDeleteWas it two months or three?
ReplyDeleteQuery?
Are Ann Apolis and Ravenzomg the same person?
I don't think they're even the same sex.
ReplyDeleterandy thought of this as a comeback to people who complain about his references being dated
ReplyDeleteor maybe someone suggested it to him
Booty?
ReplyDeleteNu?
The answer to my query is yes then?
Damn you, Raven! I'll have nightmares for weeks now.
ReplyDeleteCaptcha: nonelov. Love? I have none.
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
ReplyDelete"Apparently if you get too many wolves in one place, trouble happens."
ReplyDeleteI will revenge my injuries; if I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear, and chiefly towards you my arch-enemy, do I swear inextinguishable hatred. Have a care; I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you shall curse the hour of your birth.
ReplyDeleteThere are no wolves here. This is a playground, and ALT-F is sitting on the bench, watching.
ReplyDeleteWaiting.
I wish me and Raven were the same person, she is way cooler :(
ReplyDeleteCAPTCHA: ovela. The difference between me and Raven is that I do not ovelate.
As I am member of the Tribe Canini, you are mistaken Felix of Flustering.
ReplyDeleteI wish The Kitten of Confusion and I were the same person.
I wish Rob and I were the same person. I really do. :-(
ReplyDeleteI wish Capn, Ravenzomg, ALT-F and I were the same person.
ReplyDeleteWell technically we ARE all just aspects of Rob's Supreme Fatness.
ReplyDeleteWe clearly need to institute some sort of "National Hivemind Day" where we all post as the same person, just so that we know why we don't.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good idea.
ReplyDeletei agree completely.
ReplyDeleteCaptcha: Corks. Sounds a bit like 'cocks'.
Best idea yet.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean right now, I meant-
ReplyDeleteNevermind.
6:10 to 6:14 = samefag.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for the new XKCD, right guys??? I mean... right....me...?
ReplyDeleteThere is no me.
ReplyDeleteThere is only us.
ReplyDeleteYeah, what a douchebag, amirite?
ReplyDelete6:21 & 6:22 -- same fag
ReplyDeletethere is no amirite.
ReplyDeletethere is only arewerite.
and we are
ReplyDeleteCAPTCHA: unquit. I wish Ryan Learn would unquit :(
We always are.
ReplyDeleteBut we're not arrogant about it.
ReplyDelete