Comic 879: OMG I JIZZED

[ugh. here's your fucking guest post -Ed.]

Hello, this is Ravenzomg of Ravenzomg fame!

I was going to dress up this post, make it all pretty and formal, but I find that I'm just not up for it -- so we'll make this quick.

Title: Lamp. Tooltip: 'That was definitely not in my top three wishes.' 'Who said anything about YOUR wishes?'

So Randall shot this out, and while it's not the prettiest it still goes down alright. I could even be convinced to like it, if I were into this sort of thing.

I'm not going to spew warm lies everywhere, because I like it classy, candles burning and dim lights and crap. This? This was quick and dirty, but at the very least it gets down to business without hesitation. It doesn't leave a sour taste in my mouth, just something... cheap, like those salted snacks you buy at convenience stores for twice what they're worth. They're all show, and they're done before you even realize you'd opened up the bag. But that's how life is, isn't it?

Four panels:
(1) Enter scene, a man and the mystery!
(2) As we all do, he rubs the mystery hoping for a pleasant ending
(3) In a moment of surprising ecstasy, the mystery produces something foul
(4) The man is filled with doubt, anguish, or disgust.

Simple formula, familiar concept of the man-and-lamp, with a gross subversion. Did I expect that? No. I did not expect Randall's finish so yes, my expectations? Subverted.

Randall got lucky tonight, in that his conscience forbade him from using words. There's the onomatopoeic "Splort", but his splort can be forgiven him. Just picture this comic with something like "Oh look, a lamp!" or a second character that says, "If you rub it, maybe a genie will come out!" or in the last panel an "ew!" or something. Randall did NOT do this -- he SHOWED and did not TELL. So give him points, gentleman and lady! Randall used his medium, communicated everything correctly, and did not include Post-Punchline Dialogue!

Before you let off a load of complaints, I will preemptively unclothe the matter at hand: panel four. Now, Randall uses these Void-Creatures for his Creations, and they are faceless -- this is a rule. So the "reaction" lands in our eyes and we're left blinking in minor confusion. We know what just happened, but we're still left wanting... is it anguish here? Disgust? Confusion? Who knows? We never will. We'll always be left wanting, because that is just the medium we've chosen to observe here.

I'd also like to point out the spectacular imagery of the lamp: Panels 1 through 3 it rises logarithmically into climax, until the 4th panel where it is suddenly left flaccid and dangling, spent: The joke has been forced out of the comic.

Oh, and the tooltip: not awful. It seems dangerously close to explaining a joke that didn't need explaining, but it adds the more entertaining idea that not only does the lamp extrude fluid, but that it WANTS to do so. Because, you know, otherwise wanting would have nothing to do with this.

So, final mark of 8/10: Creative, lacking finesse.

Also notable: I think this has created the greatest potential for goatkcd ever. Seriously, Randall can never one-up himself in that regard. Ever.

Oh, and Rob wanted me to include a Megan joke so:

Inb4 That's what she said.

Squeeze hard, hold that pose
You know I like it -- do it!
Sweetheart, I'm the boss
And when you get close to it
I'm gonna make tonight a show (oh, oh)
I'll make your love grenade explode (nanana!)

-Ravenzomg.