Comic 862. Randall is a simple creature. In order to distract himself from his endless lust for Megan and her milk buttons, he has a simple set of routines--more rituals, really--that he repeats endlessly throughout the day. Over the course of his troubled life, these rituals have come to provide him comfort on their own, and so their original purpose is forgotten. They have become his security blankets, endlessly checking the internet for updates.
Every so often, however, Randall decides that he is a grown-up and has outgrown the need for security blankets. He spends the entire day saying to himself, "this is the last time I am going to check Reddit to see if they have added any new comments praising my latest comic. No, THIS is the last time I am going to check Reddit etc etc."
Eventually he manages to wrench himself from the endless cycle, but it is too late to make a comic now! Fortunately he has just watched the popular nerd movie "Star Trek"--the original, not the JJ Abrams remake. Nerds love "Star Trek," and nerds are the only people who read XKCD. Nerds also love when people mention things that they love. So, finding a vaguely appropriate "Star Trek" quote, he called it a day.
Comic 863. I have seriously never been so bored with a comic as I was with this one. It is only noteworthy because Randy seems to be abusing the type of person that he pretends to be (someone who is interested in everything and, of course, an expert in everything), and because Randy's idea of a joke is to drop a bunch of names. Next?
Monday, February 21, 2011
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Star 'Wars.' 'Wars.'
ReplyDeleteDon't care.
ReplyDeleteHow many fucking clues do you want that its from star wars you cretinous dolt dumb cunt motherfucker.
ReplyDeleteLet's talk about... the British healthcare system.
ReplyDeletetwo posts miss the irony
ReplyDeletegobble cocks motherfuckers
and one post missed the blatant blatant trolling. And actually it was one motherfucker.
ReplyDeletePerfectly executed, young Rob.
ReplyDeleteLet the carnage begin!
Hey, I know it is not xkcdexplained, but xkcdexplained disappeared when its founders were eaten alive by Randall. Could someone explain 862 to me. I've never seen Start Trek, so I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteThe National Health Service (NHS) is the shared name of three of the four publicly funded healthcare systems in the United Kingdom. Only the English NHS is officially called the National Health Service, the others being NHS Scotland and NHS Wales. Health and Social Care in Northern Ireland is called the HSC rather than the NHS.
ReplyDeleteEach system operates independently, and is politically accountable to the relevant government: the Scottish Government, Welsh Assembly Government, the Northern Ireland Executive, or the UK government (for the English NHS).
Despite their separate funding and administration, there is no discrimination when a resident of one country of the United Kingdom requires treatment in another although a patient will often be returned to their home area when they are fit to be moved. The financial and administrative consequences are dealt with by the organisations involved and no personal involvement by the patient is required.
I meant "eaten alive by Rob." What's happening to me???
ReplyDeleteOH MY GAWD IT'S A FUCKING SOCIALIST NIGHTMARE OUT THERE
ReplyDelete@Rochambeau
ReplyDeleteIn Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope, Luke Skywalker switched off his targeting computer and used the force in order to SHOOT THE CORE and destroy the Death Star.
The joke here is that he switched off his targeting computer because he was too distracted by Reddit, Facebook and CNN to concentrate.
@Rochambeau - Well, there's a scene in Start Trek where Captain Kirk has to take a shuttle and bomb a Vulcan outpost situated on a moon. He starts off using a targeting computer, then decides it would be way cooler to do it manually. Obviously he misses, sends the bomb spinning into a wormhole and blows up Tatooine, which causes Jabba the Hutt to come after him.
ReplyDelete@Rochambeau
ReplyDeleteYou have come to know the truth of Robdall. It similar to knowing the truth of C'Thulu but with slightly less tentacle rape.
And Rob i will bite your delicious bait and say FUCK YOU ITS STAR WARRRRRRS NOT STAR TREEEEK. Only the chodiest of chodes makes that mistake. You sir, are a chode.
Also the Trek Wars joke actually made me laugh for a good long minute. You have to give him credit for an original star wars joke; he didn't go for any obvious quote. I've read a lot of star wars jokes in my nerddom and i've never actually read one making fun of look using his targeting computer for something wacky.
DISLAIMER: i'm on powerful perscription drugs right now and fuck it. DRUGS ARE WACKY LOLOL WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Your dislaimer does not prevent you from being lame.
ReplyDeleteThat's some fat trolling, fatso.
ReplyDeleteStar Trek was in quotes ("Star Trek"), because he was trolling all you losers. Of course he fucking knows it is Star Wars.
ReplyDeleteNo he doesn't Marten. Don't be such a brown-nosing, apologist fuckwit.
ReplyDeleteAn insight into Rob's life:
ReplyDeletemoths and flames
Flicker.
I don't remember when the light first started bothering me. I've always been a creature of the dark, but there was a time when I could tolerate the light, too. Lately, though, I can't stand it. It's not that it hurts me physically, or that I'm unused to its brightness. But the presence of those lights starts burning away at my psyche. I can't help but stare at it. I can think of nothing else while the lights are on--not without great effort, at least.
So I skulk. There isn't much else I can do. I avoid rooms with lights on and I come out only at night, forcing myself into the grocery stores and barely managing to buy the things I need without going mad. And I slink home and fumble around in the dark, too afraid to turn on a light even to see the things I need.
My neighbors think I've gone mad. They're complaining to the landlord--ostensibly about the blackout curtains, but it's really because they don't like that I shun the light. And they're probably right. I just don't know where else to go, or what to do. Even the thought of it is overpowering. All I want is some rest.
CAPTCHA: Fairie. How appropriate.
Lulz. 4:16 is butthurt. Well done, Marten.
ReplyDelete@1:28
ReplyDeleteWhat are "cocks motherfuckers" and why would we want to gobble them?
Trolling is a art, indeed.
ReplyDeleteDon't call me Indeed.
ReplyDeleteCaptcha: uncil. He touched me when I was a kid. :(
D'aaawww, 6:57 thinks he is a troll. How adorable!
ReplyDelete9:26 has provably been over 70% of all anons on this blog because he has no friends or hobbies.
ReplyDeleteIncluding the above (and this) post.
ReplyDelete@semicolons. In his house at Philly Robdall waits dreaming. Presumable of a Megan pizza, the fat fuck.
ReplyDeleteThere is no Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteThere is only Rob.
What the hell, guys? I'm doing the best I can here using only one side of my brain and one hand to do these comics, as the others of each are permanently dedicated to jacking off.
ReplyDeleteAnonymoose everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI think the proper term is Anonymice
ReplyDeleteRob: you aren't a decent writer, you aren't funny, and you aren't creative.
ReplyDeleteThis site has failed to be interesting ever since Carl left (with exception to Randall gay story thing), and I LIKE NEVER GOING TO VISIT THIS SITE EEEEVVVVEEEERRRR AGAIN
Enjoy not getting the money generated through my blocking of your ads Carl/Rob/I don't care.
Everyone: dumbass
Rob, the prolapsed and thrush-festooned cunt said:
ReplyDelete"....In order to distract himself from his endless lust for Megan and her milk buttons...."
What makes you think he needs, or even bothers, to distract himself?
Regarding Star Wars, I always believed that the line "Luke. Use the force" would have had that much more gravitas had it been rendered "For fuck's sake Luke. Use the fucking force" instead.
Innit?
I've always wondered, is Aquarians a troll? Because she is instantly irritating. Does she do that on purpose?
ReplyDeleteyes. please ignore it.
ReplyDeleteTroll?
ReplyDeleteMeh. You'd not like my singing voice.
Trawl? Now you're talkin'
Innit?
Oh Rob, you do so play hard to get well.
I can never decide if Aqua Teen Hunger Force is a troll, has a mental disability, speaks English as a second language, or some combination thereof.
ReplyDelete@ Cuntbutler at 12:37 PM
ReplyDeleteI am all of them.
Why does Bob like to replace words for similar but distinct other words?
ReplyDeletehaha rob never watched stargate
ReplyDelete@Capn 3:06
ReplyDeleteFuck you.
am I bob?
ReplyDeleteThe only entry in The Diary Of Margot Frank
ReplyDeleteAugust 4, 1944
Oooops, that'll learn me to steal Rolfe from that Liesl Von Trapp tramp.
@ALTF
ReplyDeleteTrying too hard
I like it hard.
ReplyDeleteAnd with a bit of girth.
I, for one, sure did not miss Aquarians.
ReplyDeleteYou can only penetrate a militant feminist personality for so long.
I'm not sure I'd really call this "trying"
ReplyDeleteAnd in your case Capn, your turgidically questionable prosthetic langer is left wanting.
ReplyDeleteI try like they do in Rugby.
You have no idea, dickweed, none at all about what she's like.
ReplyDeleteBob, your posts are with clarity lacklustre and manufacture the topique of critiqué manglorious by awful comparisons.
ReplyDeletei like when you call me manglorious
ReplyDeleteCapn said:
ReplyDelete"...You have no idea, dickweed, none at all about what she's like....."
Gotta work on that punctuation there fuckbuddy - comma placement can make or break an otherwise witty retort.
Yins ain't admitting to my superior ability to 'ride you all' are ya?
Innit?
Robin you cuntbutler [thank you ALT-F], you have to sign in as Randall Munroe before accepting the praise! You're ruining the illusion of the separation of Source and Critique!!
ReplyDeleteBob's a cuntrel too.
ReplyDeleteNotice the derogative suffic -rel - as in wastrel or mongrel.
I think I upset her. Or Rob did.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll blame Rob.
Blame Rob for everything, that is just how the site operates [also democracy].
ReplyDeleteCaptcha: unboy. ALT-F: Actually an unboy?
Upset me?
ReplyDeleteWell you caused a compound fracture of the endo-cardial zones of Eros!
I'll get better though. Not to worry.
Innit?
*suffix
ReplyDeleteI's a Thai Ladyboy.
ReplyDeleteKathoey
"suffix?
ReplyDeleteYou picked up on that!
Good for you.
Thank you.
ReplyDeleteCould you go away now?
Last night I had a dream that I was a naked Rob running down a long windowless hallway being chase by a bevy of leather-clad men who were constantly tossing wieners at me.
ReplyDeleteThoughts?
Dammit Fake Capn,
ReplyDelete@1:24,
@1:10,
@1:32
Stop with your unwarranted seduction of me! I know you love the cock, that much is obvious. But why do you love MY cock?
Oh Capn. My Capn.
ReplyDeleteLove me two times?
You can use anyone's cock - but not Rob's.
You see? You're making me look bad in front of the insane batgirl.
ReplyDeleteI have just sold a new Nintendo Wii program to the Nintendo folks.
ReplyDeleteThe game controls the real Rob in Ecuador as he plants trees to replenish the rainforest.
You shake the controller to make Rob plant faster.
And fake capn, already uploaded his pic to match mine, who wants to bet he was F5'ing the random question to get mine.
ReplyDeleteSo lame.
Capn said:
ReplyDelete"...You see? You're making me look bad in front of the insane batgirl...."
You silver-tongued popinjay you!
Oh, and in case anyone gives a shit, the random question on my profile is:
ReplyDelete"You've got to make contact with the alien leader. How will you tell when the conversation is finished?"
I think that's the only thing that can't be copied.
Capn?
ReplyDeleteYou know, using the word 'lame' is lame.
Innit?
Seriously fake capn, stop it now. It's not big, and it's not clever.
ReplyDeleteYawny yawny cunt cunt
ReplyDeleteBoth Capns!
You know a tautology is a tautology.
ReplyDeleteAlso, no one ever gives a shit ever on the internet. Not for very long anyway.
Does this happen a lot? I imagine it does.
ReplyDeleteEver had tautology sex Capn?
ReplyDeleteWorks a treat for us girls.
Innit?
I've been on here for a couple years, and this is the first its happened to me, I think it happens to UndercoverCuddlefish a lot.
ReplyDeleteCapn said:
ReplyDelete"...Also, no one ever gives a shit ever on the internet. Not for very long anyway...."
My copraphile friends would beg to differ.
Doppleganger avatars are all the rage doncha know?
ReplyDeleteI for one would like to thank my random doppELganger troll. Now I might finally join the ranks of faggy bloggers with 0 comments now that I put way too much time in to distinguish myself.
ReplyDeletedoppELgangers are of Spanish origin.
ReplyDeletedoppLEgangers are of French origin.
I prefer the frogs over the spics.
In other words, you fucked up and don't want to admit it.
ReplyDeleteI don't fuck up.
ReplyDeleteI fuck down and sometimes sideways.
'El' and 'Le'?
That's so funny to a linguist!
It sux when I have to set-up myself for my brilliant bonmots!
So when's the brilliant bonmot coming?
ReplyDeletebut doppelgänger is german, you strumpet.
ReplyDeleteAnd he breaks out the umlauts!
ReplyDeleteHow will the strumpet deal with this?
Strumpet?
ReplyDeleteI prefer quean. If it's all the same to you.
The Yankee president James Garfield was ambidextrous! If you asked him a question he could write the answer with one hand in Greek and the other in Latin - simultaneously!
And they killed him for this!
America's, and by inductive reasoning, Rob's hatred of learning goes way back.
Innit?
PS I hate krauts too!
lol, guys, i figurd owt sideways n down r kinda liek up but its all mixt up im so clever!1!11 u got trold!
ReplyDeleteOoh, she tries a misdirect and fumbles!
ReplyDeleteShe won't wanna see a replay of that!
I miss poore and hatebottles, they at least added something to the discussion, this is pure drivel.
ReplyDeleteFake Capn:
@1:39,
1:42,
1:50,
2:46
And every other "Capn" comment that follows this one on this post. It's not like I post here when I'm not getting paid!
It's 'trawld'!
ReplyDeleteI don't troll! My singing voice is atrocious.
Trust me.
You missed the error in the Garfield missive, so far at least. I do not possess the necessary intellectual wherewithal, as deemed by wiser heads than me, to render my missives suitable for pedestrian cognition.
I am trying though.
Innit?
Me mam is calling me to my vittles.
ReplyDeleteAdieu, my fuckbuddies!
this is possibly the worst thing that has ever haappened to this blog
ReplyDeletecongratulations?
And to think I came here expecting actual commentary on why xkcd sucks. All I got was semi-coherent whining. Why do you insist on toying with me, Life? Why does your writing suck, Rob?
ReplyDelete@R. - Thank you. I try my best.
ReplyDeleteThis thread is a testament to just how uninteresting XKCD 863 is. 90+ posts, and not a word about the content of it.
ReplyDeleteI love how Rob can say all sorts of blatantly wrong shit all the time and the only time anyone notices is if it's about Star Trek.
ReplyDeleteSo, last time it was politics, now it's fake Capn/ALTF. Xkcd, what's that?
ReplyDeleteXKCD is the sound you make when you simply stop caring.
ReplyDeleteCaptcha: graci. Neat.
Also, what's becoming of SMBC? It's becoming XKCD but with slightly better art! It's sad to actually see a good daily comic turning so sucky.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me want to start a blog!
@Mole
ReplyDeleteI think the real question is why SMBC is suddenly so obsessed with batgirl?
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2153#comic
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2157#comic
WONDERFULLY DONE
ReplyDeleteYOU SON OF A GUN
TROLOLOLOLO LOLOLO LOLOLO
TROLOLOLO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
864: I honestly have no idea what the punchline is supposed to be. Is it that the girl isn't wearing a shirt? Is it "You'd crash it while texting and playing angry birds"?
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced that Randall is just setting up Rob for easy Megan jokes at this point.
ReplyDelete"Realdoll" almost looks suspiciously like...
ReplyDeleteROBDALL?
Coincidence?!?!?
"I'm convinced that Rob is just setting himself up for easy Megan jokes at this point."
ReplyDeleteFixed that for you, n'art.
I have no idea what the punchline is supposed to mean, nor how it ties into the first two panels, nor why a beat panel was necessary
ReplyDeleteYou know how I know she wasn't wearing a t-shirt? Because she explicitly said so. I think the joke here is he continued the conversation instead of drooling and frantically masturbating over the idea of milking a topless Megan.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he's so obsessed with flying cars that he doesn't even get a woody. It's funny. Some of you people just have no sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteWoo! Achewood is back!
ReplyDeleteone or two hundred comics ago, i created an actual profile on the xkcd forums to say that the comic of the occasion was a very low point. that randy should get an editor, *something*. i think it was the fucking haiku about prime numbers.
ReplyDeletei honestly could not imagine a lamer comic at the time.
i miss those days.
Chiggy Chugga, I bet they told you that you were wrong because it's a free webcomic so you have no right to judge, be grateful and if you don't have anything complimentary to say then don't waste your time being a hater and besides it was pure genius you just didn't get it, everybody has different tastes not everybody can appreciate smart humor.
ReplyDeletexkcd has fallen so low it doesnt't even have jokes anymore
ReplyDeletewhat in the jesus fucking christ is going on in this comment thread
ReplyDeletei have never been so bored with this site before
A bunch of names? Meaning... one name?
ReplyDeleteRead the hover text.
ReplyDelete(it's funny because Randall's art "style" is so shitty he has to say a woman is topless in the dialog)
ReplyDeleteIts basically another 'the future is aready here' comics of which he does many. I would link them but i cba. One with a robot plane killing 2 people springs to mind though...
ReplyDeleteBasically hes complaining that he wants a hover car (the traditional future technology) and shes pointing out all the 'futureistic' stuff around him.
I don't see a punchline but i do see a pointless reference to a woman being topless so i guess that wil have to do.
Hey the alt-text was actually a semblance of a joke and not some sort of aborted xkcd-CAD mashup.
ReplyDeleteThis new comic had potential as an idea. It's the counter-argument to the memetic complain of "I want my flying car". It's not even a legitimate complain, but fuck it. Anti-memeing is cool with me.
ReplyDeleteAnd Munroe ruins it. Always.
First of all: show, don't tell, Randall. If you need to tell your readers she is shirtless, you fail. Also, it doesn't matter. In fact, they could be having a video call, why not? Why does Megan need to be shirtless, you freaky lactation fetishi-- Oh. Right...
More important, though: punchline makes no sense. Is the male character famous for crashing his car while texting and playing Angry Birds? I guess no, so why would it be different in a flying car? I suppose this is a name drop to call in the GOOMHR. "I play Angry Birds, too! GOOMHR!" Incidentally, I do play Angry Birds. And I couldn't care less.
Finally, alt-text. Random, stupid, creepy. All at once. Fuck it, Randall. Just fuck it.
Goodness, I hope the next comment thread at least has something to do with the comic for a change...
864 is just ... boring. There's no more that I can say about it except that there's 1 floating head and once again 'show don't tell'.
ReplyDeleteNew theory: Megan is actually naked in every comic.
ReplyDeleteExample (SFW)
@ Undiscovered Cuntflap
ReplyDeleteAre you referring to lil' ol' me? Surely you tug on my tarsus, my fine young fuckbuddy! My dispatches are nothing but the very best in Dadaist prose.
Innit?
"This is the dawning of the
ReplyDeleteAGE OF AQUARIANS
AGE OF AQUARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS"
what I don't understand is why randall didn't take this as an opportunity for completely unnecessary nudity like the did in 631
ReplyDeleteYou should never ask a gal her age without consent.
ReplyDeleteUnless you're asking for consent.
Innit?
never seen a troll come across as quite so desperate for attention
ReplyDeletewhich when you think about it, is really saying something
you sheeple hiv is a myth all credible science points to aids being a symptom of the homosexual lifestyle but these scientists are being silenced by the AIDS cabal who are too PC to admit that these fags are literally killing themselves with there perverted sex acts
ReplyDeleteAll these ministrations, just for meeee? I can barely respirate, I'm blushing so much. I can't fuck all of you though.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, I don't fuck off.
I fuck on, or upon.
Innit?
Don't you understand, Anonymous with ideas about 631? The only truly rational explanation with what we XKCD scholars jointly know is that, in fact, Timofei is right! Randall has masterfully combined dialogue about toplessness with normal art to suggest that all prior, present, and future women are actually continuously topless within the bounds of his comic. All men in XKCD's fantastic, whimsical world are simply much too chill to comment on the fabulous racks ambulating about their persons.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that such amazing conclusions about the nature of ideal humanity (and its reaction to casual toplessness) can be taken from so few readily available premises is a clear sign that XKCD is actually a code, a sort of basic groundwork for a total metaphysics, a new divine law spoken by Randall as the mouthpiece of God. My friends, Randall Munroe must be a prophet in the Old Testament fashion, or perhaps in the tradition of some other powerful faith. Do the Mole-Gods churn up soil in some dark recess of Randall's mind? Only time will tell.
TL;DR: GOOMHR, I like breasts!
Comic 862:
ReplyDelete...my 'productive' computer use was unaffected...
...'productive' computer use...
...'productive'...
HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaoaoohhahooooohahehehehe
First time here.
ReplyDeleteI read about 30 of your posts.
Maybe this website is dripping in sarcasm, and you really do like what he does, or you truly do have a problem with his work.
The man is successful, and smart. He appeals to geeks and nerds, and has fun and quirky content. Why such hate?
Stop trolling the internet, or at least keep it on 4chan.
Anyway, just thought I'd let you know that out of the dozens of web comics that I've followed, XKCD is my favorite, from 1 to 863 and on... not because it's original (hey, hasn't every Simpsons episode or Family guy or comic book or movie or sitcom or novel or magazine piece or periodical or web blog covered content that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE has down before in some other form?), but because his jokes are above the layman, make you think, and can still be just plain silly(like a bad knock knock joke).
That's the point. If you don't like it, don't read it. Hating on Ebaumsworld or Thebestwebsiteintheuniverse.net might be better usage of your time.
@ALTF
ReplyDeleteAdding "of course" doesn't make your comeback any less boring and predictable.
Innit?
"I read about 30 of your posts."
ReplyDelete...later, five paragraphs down...
"If you don' like it, don't read it."
You are either a troll or an idiot.
But hate is fun!
ReplyDelete@12:09
ReplyDeleteJust because he's smarter than you doesn't make him smart.
"Stop trolling the internet"
What the fuck are you talking about? We're in a blog dedicated to the suckiness of xkcd, not all over the Internet. Moron.
"If you don't like it, don't read it."
It never ceases to surprise me how stupid people always say this. Haven't you ever enjoyed talking with your friends (ha) about how retarded something or someone is? I bet you have. But this is different because you like this comic, right?
And if you don't like this blog, don't read it.
The man is successful. He appeals to geeks and nerds, and has content.
ReplyDelete@Anon 12:09
ReplyDeleteRandall's jokes are absolutely NOT above the layman. Let's take a look, shall we?
834: "We don't have flying cars but our phones sure are sweet."
833: "If you want a degree in everything, you need a broad range of knowledge. If you want a degree in one book, too bad."
832: "Luke's targeting computer was distracting because he was misusing it."
831: "Drugs make you loopy."
830: "Things look weird under microscopes."
829: "Some people are OCD about punctuation."
828: "This guy has weird thoughts, and the girl knows it."
827: "A gunman is using a non sequitur."
826: "When people are going nuts, sometimes all you can do is throw bricks at them."
825: "Zombocom is a silly concept."
And so on. These "jokes" aren't ABOVE the average layman; if anything, they're simply obscure to the average layman. What you're talking about would be more like the "There's no Karnaugh map for love" one, and that one is YEARS old. Recently, Randall hasn't done high-level jokes because he doesn't have a high-level audience. The people who read his comic are simply self-proclaimed geeks who think that liking it is all they need to be considered smart.
Ugh I hate author-lecture comics.
ReplyDeleteDONT TALK DOWN TO YOUR AUDIENCE
the new smbc is offensive.
ALTF is entirely boring and inoffensive though. please continue the content-free posting.
@12:09
ReplyDelete834 has a boobies gag. 831 is a drug gag. 828, another boobies gag. Explain to me again the above-the-layman thing, and why you have to be a post-doc in astrophysics to understand the 'humor.'
Ugh. Deconstructing xkcd is the most boring fucking thing anyone could do. Get the trolls back already. At least they were mildly entertaining.
ReplyDelete2:51 = ALTF
ReplyDelete2:58 = paranoia
ReplyDelete3:11 = clever ruse
ReplyDelete2:51 = 2:58 = 3:11 = 4:36 = same fag
ReplyDeleteSo... Megan called Randy and the first thing he said was "It's 2011. I want my flying car"? Who the fuck answers a phone like that? What the fuck does the fact that she isn't wearing a shirt add to this miserable piece of shit? I tell you: Nothing but affirm Randy's obsession with lactation. Randy could have just put the words "ANGRY BIRDS" on some toilet paper with his feces and he'd have the same result.
ReplyDeleteso what's up with all these faggots getting married?
ReplyDeleteI see what you did there, Ves. Gay marriage is a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster and Rob Mason.
ReplyDelete@latest xkcd
ReplyDeleteWe having "flying cars". They are called airplanes.
To help destroy American support for your Presidency, you must change and recreate perfectly good sweets. Tarts are sugary goods that are washed down by tea if those silly British have anything to say about it. Normally, Tarts are perfectly fine on their own. However, if you want to destory public support, you must either ruin or maul Tarts beyond recognition. Some methods you can choose are replacing frosting with tax dollars and strawberries with old landmines.
ReplyDeleteNope, airpllanes are flying planes.
ReplyDeleteThat's why they're called airlpanes, and not aircars.
You moron.
@6:49: I don't know about you, but I don't own any airplanes. I think the distinguishing characteristic of a flying car would be the fact that it is a personal vehicle that you own and use in a similar manner as you currently use your car (e.g. on the daily commute).
ReplyDeleteIncidentially, screw flying cars, I want my goddamn jetpack!
I think there have been working flying-car prototypes for the past couple of decades at least, which can go airborne but also fit into a standard parking space with the wings folded up. I remember seeing demonstrations of them when I was really young. It's probably more a problem of infrastructure than technology. Not that Randall would allow a small detail like that to interfere with his hilarious boobies joke and subsequent distracted-flyer punchline. (If distractions with cell phones were a likely scenario for pilots, wouldn't you think we'd have already seen it in, like, people who already fly airplanes, i.e. pilots??)
ReplyDeleteI am not amused.
ReplyDeleteI am going to go nail my scrotum to a coffee table.
The man is successful, and smart. He appeals to geeks and nerds, and has fun and quirky content. Why such hate?
ReplyDeletei thought it was pretty clear. we hate xkcd because it's terrible.
again with the "randy is smart" meme. is there any evidence that he is of above-average intelligence, among people who went to college?
he has a degree which thousands of people get every year in the u.s. alone. he was a tech intern, again something thousands of people do every year. he reads a lot of wikipedia and popular novels.
he managed to produce somewhat funny, but very hit-or-miss stick figure comics thrice weekly, for about three years. (four if you're generous.) this is orders of magnitude less than the work put out by thousands of aspiring comedians every year. heck, it's less work, of lesser quality, than that of dozens of webcomic artists alone.
if anything can be said to show through these very few tidbits, it's that randy is actually kind of a slacker and not very good at focusing. (not that there's anything wrong with that.)
So does anyone else here really want to do Megan? I mean, I'd love to find out who she is and have a bit of a fling with her. Imagine being the guy able to log into the xkcd message board and say "I hit that" for every second comic.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a problem with people saying that Randall Munroe is smart - in all probability, he is (although "smart" is subjective, but that's not the point). I do have a problem with people equating "Randall is smart" with "Randall's webcomic is immune from all criticism".
ReplyDeleteRandy's making a living off of awful stick figure comics three times a week. Are you? Clearly, Randy is smarter than all of us.
ReplyDeleteOooh, oooh, I just got an idea for the next XKCD.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be another one-line of text. It'll say:
C++ makes me want to put semicolons at the end of every statement;
GENIUS! I'LL MAKE MILLIONS SELLING T-SHIRTS!
No, it's going to be a three-panel strip with a pair of stick figures talking. I've already read the script.
ReplyDeleteScene: A nondescript outdoors environment. A strip of black across the top indicates night. Two men stare into the sky.
Panel 1
Man 1: (blankly) Do you think extra-terrestrials are looking down on us right now?
Man 2: (blankly) Do you mean aliens?
Panel 2
Man 1: (blankly) Yes, aliens on another planet.
Man 2: (blankly) But if they're still in their native habitat they're not currently aliens!!!!!!!
Panel 3
Man 1: (blankly) STEPHEN HAWKINGS MEGAN 4CHAN NATE SILVER DWARF FORTRESS LORD OF THE RINGS DAN CARLIN!
Man 2: (blankly) !
Oh yeah, I forgot the alt-text
ReplyDelete"They could technically be Earthlings living on another planet, but the tribe of lost monkeys from the space race are notoriously stubborn about looking up, you know just like those guys from that H2G2 book? They're eventually going to destroy the entire universe, btw, just like in that H2G2 book."
@Eidolon
ReplyDeleteI've got a better one, also one line of text.
Now that Megan finally switched to the wonder that is Python, she's stopped using punctuation at the end of her sentences.
BAM. Am I witty or what? Joke stealing (from Eidolon), elitism, awkward wording, telling not showing, and a Megan reference. If I could have thrown in some cunnilingus or lactation without wanting to strangle something, this would have been the perfect xkcd.
Doesn't matter how much you hate Randy, he is still beating you at life. Would any of you lazy fuckers *not* be happy to get away with what he does?
ReplyDeleteYeah.
ReplyDeleteAn easy life isn't worth living.
I'd love to make as much money as he does doing what he does. Then I could more than support myself, while still having all the time in the world for personal projects.
ReplyDeleteRandall doesn't live an easy life. He doesn't follow the mainstream. He takes the less-travelled road, all covered with thorns and pebbles. He makes the hard, independent, decisions every day and in so doing proves his true vibrant humanity.
ReplyDeletehttp://xkcd.com/137/
@Sven
ReplyDeleteI own an airplane. It's just a one seater, but I own it. Airplanes can be personal vehicles, just get your pilot's license.
Then pay two brazilian dollars a month in insurance.
ReplyDelete"He makes the hard, independent, decisions every day and in so doing proves his true vibrant humanity."
ReplyDeleteAnd these decisions are what exactly?
Hmmmm, pantry's gettin' low, better shit out a poster.
Hmmmm, ideas are gettin' low, better shit out some memes and references.
Hmmmm, I've made an obvious error in my comic, better change it and ADMIT TO NOTHING.
Oh yeah, his life is so hard, being such a terrible webcomicteer being surrounded by sycophants needing to defend him on hate blogs.
And no he doesn't follow the mainstream, because he can't be bothered to catch up with the rest of us culture wise. It's the polar opposite of being some hipster douche, but just as annoying.
Two brazilian dollars doesn't seem much for insurance. What's the exchange rate of the brazilian dollar? It can't worht much more than an american dollar...
ReplyDeleteIt's worth, like, a brazilian times as much as our dollar.
ReplyDelete"It's worth, like, a brazilian times as much as our dollar."
ReplyDeleteThat's the first time I've laughed in this particular blog post/comment thread.
That probably makes me a bad person.
stfu and get back to writing REAMDE
ReplyDeleteIs it a dollar with no stray pelvic hairs?
ReplyDeleteI swear to god you cuntfaggots are so boring I am literally spraying cranial fluid from my nostrils.
ReplyDelete@10:42 - Screw you bitch. I'm NEAL STEPHENSON, and I DO WHAT I WANT. GRR Martin and I are gonna take a break in the Bahamas for a year JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT.
ReplyDeleteI'm literally going to suck your cock and spit your cum into your ear in front of your mother.
ReplyDeleteHot.
ReplyDeleteI put forth that randy seems to be subtly hinting at his romance with robby, considering that he's *supposedly* a major (pain) in the universe (Rob's fat ass).
ReplyDeleteInnit?
what the fuck
ReplyDeletewhat the FUCK
You REALLY don't know the difference between Star WArs and Star Trek? REALLY?
That's it, close down this blog, because seriously, you need to have at least SOME understanding of geek culture to read xkcd, which you cleaerly do not.
Instead of pointing out how stupid you are for thinking that, I'm going to point out that you misspelled "clearly."
ReplyDelete@12:52
ReplyDeleteWhether he was trolling or not (he purposefully wrote Star TREK several times), it seems that he couldn't find anything substantial wrong with the comic, so he just created a false mechanism for hate so that the rest of his post made sense.
Seriously. Replace Trek with "Wars" and you'll think to yourself... "the fuck is this idiot on?"
but it's star war.................... oh i see what you did thar! you forced the troll wAY too much, if you had just dropped it once it would have been perfect
ReplyDeletealso captcha "asamat" a dislexic person describing rob
"dislexic"
ReplyDelete"Maybe you have heard of Trolls? They are mighty strong. But trolls are only counterfeits, made by the Enemy in the Great Darkness, in mockery of Ents, as Orcs were of Elves. We are stronger than Trolls."
ReplyDeleteI drank the ocean, please. It was herpy. I'd like to thank Hitler for this moment.
ReplyDeleteTL;DR
ocean, herp, Hitler
I dunno, that battle troll would've pwned Frodo pretty hard, if it weren't for that cheese mithril. |-|4X!
ReplyDeleteCaphsha: Caphsh.
Treebeard said that. He could take down a troll any day. He had a tree for a beard - someone like that could do anything.
ReplyDeletelord of the flies sucks. stop referencing it
ReplyDeletewhy doesn't anyone from these comment boards ever go onto randall's comment board, whether to troll or just honestly tell him what a talentless hack he is as at his comic
ReplyDelete*er sorry, i mean, go onto the comment boards on randall's xkcd blog
ReplyDelete@R
ReplyDeleteUnless you count the book, which avoids the inevitable train wreck of child actors
And is instead just full of shitty writing
ReplyDeleteLulz. 2:44 thinks 2:42 was talking about LOTR.
ReplyDelete@Anon241: His blog comments are moderated I do believe, and trolling the XKCD forums is like covering your skin in acid to scare kids.
ReplyDeleteSET ME FREE
ReplyDeleteI repose with tears, eyes opened wide, unable to see
Darkness spreads desperate longing o'er me
I've only gazed upon earthly shadows of cold and grey
Needing your kiss sends my senses into disarray
Heart flutters hummingbird beat with aching desire, fear
Winter's slain leaves are moaning as you step near
Window rises, male musk, your sex eagerly claim me
Embrace me with a whisper and set me free.
DENY ME
ReplyDeleteWinter-cold steel and searing pain
Tighten my shackles
and twist my chain
Strap my thighs and rope my knees
Fasten me to a pole
and ignore my pleas
Whip my buttocks 'til they bleed
Flick my rosy nipples
and deny my need
Lash my breasts and nip my ears
Bite my tender neck
and laugh at my tears
Lap my blood with darting tongue
Thrust inside my mouth
and take me again.
No comments?
ReplyDelete:-(
TAKE ME
ReplyDeleteThe thought of creatures
Sitting topless on the other
Side of this discussion
Draws blood to my features
Best left to another
Type of word-eruption,
And with that migratory blood
I find my will to resist
All but gone away.
So with a necessary flood
Of actions all but kissed
by Cupid I might say
To you, my Creature, fair
And fragrant, I've seen you
From afar and consider it our Fate
That I should say I care
Enough to be honest. I NEED to
See you lactate.
~Fin~
MILK ME
ReplyDeleteMilk me Daddy, milk me now
Milk me like a big ol' cow
I've got milk inside my udder
Churn it up and make some butter
cock is a tumescent
ReplyDeletesaber
throbbing, shivering in anticipation
between his legs
waiting to cut into gut of a passing bird