Comic 618: Can't They All Just Blow Up

just wanted to make sure we had a record of this. Apparently those times we thought "wow, this seems thrown together five minutes before midnight" were correct.

How much do you want to bet the comic will be about conventions? update: Good thing no one bet with me.
late update: oh hey, TomR sent me his post. let's see what he says.



Hey, I'm TomR. Youll probably know me more from the CouldBeBetter forums than the blog, because Internet Explorer hates Blogger, and I'm not going to change browser just for one site, especially when most sites are designed for IE in the first place (TO Carl - maybe not put this in because people be angry and like "NOOO USE FIREFIX BECAUSE I HAVE NO FRIENDS")(tomr - you should use firefox, dammit! also, I have no friends. --carl).

So, comic 618.

Right, the first thing about this comic is that it's a reference to something. And if you don't know what it's talking about, then don't even bother reading today's strip. We don't need your kind here. Hey, WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE? That's right folks, xkcd number 50!



I've been seeing a lot of this shit in xkcd lately what with the whole pep rall thing then the Idiocracy and sheeple comics. Apparently Randall can't make up his mind about things.
I'm beginning to think Randall ghostwrites for, or will be writing for, Cracked. They use an xkcd comic in this article (last night when I read this it was uncredited, so I was thinking all "but didn't they do all that shit when people used THEIR articles without permission? Hypocrites! Hey, like xkcd!" and that's where this paragraph came from, but now they've put a little "thanks xkcd" thing in there, which makes it maybe a little better, but the idea is still floating about in my head), both sites have a bunch of sycophants following the links to whichever site the writers found and think they are better than everyone else, both make mountains out of molehills, and both are shit.

Anyway, back to the comic. There are two ways to make a reference to something: the right way, and the Family Guy way. The right way is to make it a throwaway line, and give it contet so that people who don't get the reference can laugh at the base joke, or at the very least not be confused. Then there's the Family Guy way: just slap it in there, and if someone doesn't get it then, well, they're a moron. Guess which way Randy did it?

The joke isn't up to much even if you do get the reference: Armageddon (or Deep Impact, which is supposedly the better film because it is more scientifically accurate, even though Armageddon is much more fun. The critics claim Deep Impact is better, but they also claim that Wild Hogs is shit and The Dark Knight is great, so what do they know. Of course, Randy had to choose Deep Impact to keep up his nerd cred.) Except it turns out that there was a friendly boy on it who just wanted to be friends! D'awwww!

Jesus fucking Christ Randall, why not just draw the fucking Teletubbies and have done with it.

Comic 617: Current Events Are Always Funny

Your friendly neighborhood Rob here, filling in for Carl on uploading Lompta's treatment of 617, which is an abysmal wreck of a comic that should be wiped off the face of the earth! Let's see what Lompta has to say.

This is a surprisingly difficult comic to mock, mostly because there's no joke to attack in the first place. Randall briefly recaps something that was recently in the media spotlight, throws in the fact that alcohol can lead to irresponsibility, and calls it a night. Nothing is particularly funny about either of these tactics. It's pretty well established that people can act stupid when they're sufficiently drunk. It's also pretty well established that Obama is a fancy guy for deigning to step out of his magical presidential realm to solve a high-profile conflict. The alt-text is equally disappointing, because it's yet another observation that everyone has noticed before. Yes, graduate students understand alcohol from an experiential standpoint, just like current events do in fact happen and strong drinks can get you into trouble.

I think this comic actually says a lot about where xkcd has gone. Randall often makes strips obscure enough that people will feel smart for getting them (or just for reading them anyway, because it's a thing for smart people to do), and yet he still apparently feels the compulsion to make a joke about every major current event. One of the strengths of early xkcd was that it was so random, that it made good jokes but also wasn't afraid to be surreal. Comics like this one totally undermine that. Randall doesn't even have anything to say about the beer summit, really. He's a fan of Obama, and maybe just wants to remind everyone that he did a cool thing. So he draws a parallel, I guess, except that even that fails.

The structure of the comic, as far as I can tell, is supposed to go something like this: racist accusation (based on prior knowledge of encounter) leads to jail for single black professor, just as tequila leads to jail for black professor, policeman, and president. Other than the visual of people in a cell, though, there's really no parallel at all. If anything, it trivializes the difficulty Gates faced in the whole situation. Comparing an innocent man being jailed to rampant irresponsibility being punished is insulting, and also not funny.

And while I'm at least vaguely on race, it seems like a pretty stupid topic to cover in xkcd, because you can't even tell what color anyone is. The only way a reader can understand the core issue of the beer summit is if they already know about it, so in a year or so nobody will have any idea what's going on in this comic at all. From an outsider perspective, it looks like the president randomly stepping in to mediate an argument between a mysterious man in glasses and an anonymous policeman.

Also, the structure of the weak joke makes it even weaker. The punch line (I guess) of the three men in jail should come directly after the frame of Obama facing the tequila. Our imaginations are way better than Randall's art at thinking of the trouble they could have got in, and riding in a limousine shouting out of the sunroof is kind of cliche/lame to begin with.

Also, I don't think you can't put the president in jail anyway, at least not while he's still president, so this doesn't even make sense. That's a small weakness compared to the rest of them, but worth mentioning.

I guess I can only say so much beyond the fact that there isn't even a joke worth mocking. It also doesn't make sense in general or make any point that isn't conventional wisdom, but neither of those are necessarily essential for a webcomic. There's nothing here but the hope that people will find it ridiculous and therefore funny, mostly just because it's Randall Munroe saying it. He's a smart guy, but this comic is more than enough proof that he gets away with too much.

Or maybe he doesn't. Now that I've glanced at the forums, it appears that even the fans aren't happy with this one.

That's enough for this lurker. Lompta out.

Comic 616: Get Out of My Head, Batman

today i have entrusted JK with the responsibility of handling this blog like an adult.

When I read the first panel of this comic, I thought I was doomed.

The fact is, I've had problems with landlords before. I've toured an apartment where the floor sloped at a thirty-degree angle, and all I could think about was how fast I could sign the lease. (FYI, someone beat me to it.) So when I read that first panel, I thought I had Randall Munroe in my head. I thought he was going to say something that would really resonate--and of course, it's hard to criticize someone who can pulp your cerebellum at the first sign of dissent.

Then Randall took a right turn onto Non Sequitur Plaza.

I would never criticize a comic for being too weird, wacky, or unrealistic. Of course a real person in this situation would never say what the main character of this comic says, but several good xkcd strips have worked just this way. There's no 'joke' per se, but the situation itself is enough to provoke a smile--the strip which is self-referenced in the title-text [alt-text! --carl] is an example. However, this type of comic, done poorly, sets itself up for a harder fall.

This comic seems to indicate a belief that growth means the sacrifice of that which is not grown-up. In other words, it isn't enough to gain new tastes as you age; you have to lose old ones, too. Playing with blocks is for kids; to grow up, you have to stop (never mind architects and engineers). Thinking about imaginary characters is for undeveloped minds (forget about novelists, filmmakers, and writers of webcomics).

What's really purile about this strip, in fact, isn't those few traits which are supposed to be childish--it's the whole frame of mind which is worried and eager to prove that it is very grown up. This is a topic which xkcd has handled much better in the past, as Randall evidently knows. That makes the current crudeness doubly disappointing: the strip which is referenced in the title-text is basically this one, but better.

"I'm pretty sure I stopped growing up in my teens." Yes, that is correct Randall. You go through the first years of life as a child, all the while accepting growing responsibility. At last, at the age of 18 or so, (earlier in many cultures) you become a full adult. With full legal rights, such as *signing the lease on a building*. This is how it is supposed to work.

"I've been faking..." Faking what? Faking growth after you've finished growing? That's like taking the trend line of your height between six and sixteen, noticing that it goes up, and deciding to wear higher and higher-heeled shoes for the rest of your life.

"..for years." Specifically, in Randall's case, for the years 20-24. I hope he wasn't expecting to see the wisdom of old age develop sometime in there. At this rate, by the time next year rolls around, he'll be senile.

I was going to say something unkind, to the effect that we wouldn't notice, but really, we would.

Take care of yourself, Randall. I read your webcomic.


[don't forget: the topic of living on his own but acting like a child was also present in 131 and 418 --Carl]

SMBC Theater

So we all read SMBC, of course, because it's great, so of course I was intrigued to see that it now has a spinoff sketch comedy site, SMBC Theater. It currently only has four videos, so I thought I should take a look and report my findings.

My findings are: They are bad.

"Genie" seems to be the one they are most proud of, given that it's the one embedded on the SMBC blog, the one he used for his votey image the other day, and the one that loads first on the main page (at least for me, every time - is that happening to other people?) It's mildly funny, but not really. Yeah, it's a parody of all those "unintended consequences of wishes" stories, but usually those stories themselves have such crazy logic (see: Simpsons Get a Magic Monkey Paw halloween episode) that they are parodies of themselves. And here the consequences aren't any funnier, it's just supposed to be funny that the people don't care. So I guess we are supposed to laugh at the fact that they are bad people?

"LOLcat 50 Years Later" was even worse. Even if I wasn't sick of lolcat humor, this hardly even had that: maybe 3 of 4 actual lolcat images. The rest was just: depressing. And why exactly are we supposed to believe that the cat was 50 years old? He looks as young as all the other people in the SMBC videos. PS the cardboard coffin just reinforces the super-low production values of all of this. Just saying.

"Gateway Drug" Just didn't feel original to me. And at this point I'm recognizing actors from previous skits. Still probably the best of the group though.

"Keyboard Kitty" does not deserve my time.

So yeah, in the end: Mostly disappointed. I've always been impressed that Zach Weiner could produce a consistently good, well drawn comic 7 days a week, so making a good sketch show on top would be more impressive still. I wonder how long it will continue for - it's got to be damn hard to do, and I don't know how good a response he'll get.

SO THAT'S THAT. Did you guys watch these? What do you think?

Are you all as surprised as I am at just how much Zach Weiner looks like a stoner?

===================
In other news, I just finished reading Problem Sleuth. And holy crap, I don't even know what to think. I don't know what just happened to me. All I know is I'm going to be having some fucked up dreams tonight.

Comic 615: How About We Avoid Your Comic?

today's post comes to us courtesy of Professor Doctor Silas R.P. Wendlemeer the Third, man of distinguished class and style.

Okay, shit, shit shit shit shit shit. I don't even know where to begin. This comic is terrible on so many levels. Now see, I came into this with every intention to be as fair as humanly possible to Randall, but I really can't find much of anything that I like about this comic. I feel I still have an obligation to find something good about what has been put forth from Randall's obviously very massive and powerful mind, but it's really taxing on me right now. I will do my best to compile a list of what is good about this particular comic:

-It was posted on time
-The boxes around each of the panels (excluding the 2nd one, for whatever reason) are very straight and quite well done
-The earth did not crash into the sun while I was reading the comic

Oh man. That's really... um... about it actually. I don't even know if we can count the boxes one since it was done with a tool [Carl adds: "you mean, done BY a tool! zing! ha ha, randall is a tool"].

Okay, now that that's over with, let's talk about what Randall did wrong with this comic.

Number one and the biggest, baddest, worstest: This joke is old, not original, and not funny. This joke has been done so many times before and it wasn't even funny then, it was novel at best. I've seen it in the Simpsons, Family Guy; hell, even fucking Seinfeld did this stupid joke in a bit of a different way (when Kramer was impersonating movie phone). Ever since there have been automated services on the telephone there have been people making this joke. Listen, Randall, if your joke can be independently invented by 12 year old kids, you are not doing a very good job as a comedian. And yes, he is supposed to be a comedian, he's writing a COMIC, not a blog.

Interestingly enough, this leads me to another disturbing point. By my understanding, a visual comic, like xkcd, is one that should combine both artwork and written comedy in a medium specially designed to make people laugh. If you can't draw, like evidenced by xkcd, you are a stand-up comedian or a blogger and that is fine you just avoid the artistic medium. If you can't make jokes, as evidenced by xkcd, you are an artist and that is fine you just avoid jokes and sullenly sit in coffee shops all day. If you can't do either, why even try to combine them? It's like if I said I couldn't play tennis or the guitar, but if I try doing them both at the same time I'd be fantastic. That's just fucking stupid.

Now let's get into the really specific content here. First of all, Randall is continuing his unhealthy obsessions with:
1. Being creepy as hell in general
2. Pretending the people are machines oh ho ho isn't that funny
3. Completely missing an (actually many) important, real element (s) that detracts heavily from the joke

Let's get to 1. Clearly, from the alt text, we see that Randall has thought this situation through pretty completely and decides that, if he were in this situation, he would make it as uncomfortable as possible for the other person. It's very obvious in this comic that this poor girl is just trying to avoid this stupid dunderhead that she inexplicably gave her real number to despite him having the intelligence of a sack of bricks, not being able to figure out what she was doing. See Randall, the problem with you writing creepy things is that you take yourself so seriously that people take what you say seriously too.

2. Oh man, this joke never gets old. It's one of Randy's favorites and it's one of the stupidest things imaginable. Why? It's. Just. Not. Funny. It's not! I think it's been covered enough here on this blog that I don't really need to say any more about it. The fact that I need to bring it up again is pretty sad, though; maybe think of a few new jokes Randy. If you need inspiration, at just about any bookstore you want you can buy 1001 jokes for nerds or 1001 jokes about sex both of which I think you'll enjoy. Be sure to tell them I sent you everyone will know me I think maybe.

3. This entire situation is just not going to happen. Ever, okay? First of all, why doesn't the girl just NOT FUCKING ANSWER THE PHONE? Oh, wait, I forgot that we don't really know how people speak or act in this comic. It's an entirely contrived situation right off the bat, which makes it less funny.

Let me take you aside for a minute to tell you about my Uncle James. He was a very close person to me and there was a time where he saw a big bunch of bikers in a bar okay. Or wait maybe they were in a circus yeah a circus. Okay and so now he walks up to them and says "Oh no would you look at that I am out of money at this current and present point in time I need more" and the bikers all look at each other and they say "well gee whiz sir we can be your ATM for now" and James gives them his card and they look at it and they give him money. Oh haha did you see what happened there? I should be xkcd.

I'm sorry but that story was important to me. Back to this comic. Once again, this sort of falls into the category of Randall not understanding how people work, but clearly this main character is the dumbest sack of shit ever to um sit in a chair. Somehow, inexplicably, he knows what it sounds like when the call cannot be completed. Yet, also, amazingly enough, he fails to realize that there's a very loud, very noticeable BEEP BOOP BOOOOOOPP noise before that message plays. ALWAYS. Characters that stupid are too ridiculous to be believable.

And somehow, he also doesn't notice breathing on the other end of the line? This girl surely has to breath or make other noises than what is on the recording, which omits all of those types of things. Yeah, I really believe this whole situation. It's really coming together for me.

Okay hang on I'm being really unfair. I need to end on a lighter note because I promised myself that I would honestly and truly say things good about this comic. I think I will try to suggest improvements.

I think the premise was okay but it really lacked that extra zing that would make it truly something entertaining. Yes, it wasn't that original or really that funny, but there are ways to have made it work. Instead, he opts for seeking out a very cliched situation to put a very cliched joke into. I do know that Randall is capable of putting his characters in unique or strange situations, so why didn't he do that here? He tried to force the realism of the situation down our throats when there was so much more to gain from being an absurd, unrealistic comic.

Also, I know I've said this already, but really work on the artwork a little more. At least fill in something interesting happening in the background or add some little visual bits of entertainment. It's far too miserably empty for such a poor joke to stand by itself.

Oh, wait! I just remembered, one good thing. Randall used timing almost properly here! There's no text after the "punchline" and it flows pretty much properly. There! I've said something good about this comic.