Friday, May 31, 2013
Comics Whatever to Whatever: Who Even Cares
1208. Someone's been reading House of Leaves again. F
1209. Lame. F
1210. I'm interpreting this as a scathing self-critique, and not as the shitfest it actually is. A+
1211. Hasn't he done this exact same thing before? F
1212. Is it poster time already? F
1213. Randy must have recently discovered a fun way to produce blocks of random numbers. It isn't interesting to anyone else, Randy. F
1214. Slightly better than everything else I reviewed in this post. D-
1215. Handy tips for pretending to have an opinion, from the master of bad opinions. F
1216. Normally I'd say Randy's been reading the blog, but it's not like I update anymore. F
1217. And? F
1218. Lol what is the elvish word for frenemy closed the door? F
1219. Your idea is bad, and you should feel bad. F
1209. Lame. F
1210. I'm interpreting this as a scathing self-critique, and not as the shitfest it actually is. A+
1211. Hasn't he done this exact same thing before? F
1212. Is it poster time already? F
1213. Randy must have recently discovered a fun way to produce blocks of random numbers. It isn't interesting to anyone else, Randy. F
1214. Slightly better than everything else I reviewed in this post. D-
1215. Handy tips for pretending to have an opinion, from the master of bad opinions. F
1216. Normally I'd say Randy's been reading the blog, but it's not like I update anymore. F
1217. And? F
1218. Lol what is the elvish word for frenemy closed the door? F
1219. Your idea is bad, and you should feel bad. F
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first
ReplyDeleteas the first poster you get all of my love
Deletehah. fooled you
Deleteyou wish
Deleteyes. yes i do
Deletehurray!
ReplyDeleteum... did you know your site is really lazy and bad?
ReplyDeleteok just thought you should know.
is that why i didn't update it for three weeks
Deleteasking for a friend.
Guys. Guys. Randy's done it, he's really done it. I'm sitting there looking at 1219 for the first time and then suddenly the comic bulges in swirling colours not unlike a 2 day old black eye. Suddenl;y I'm seeing shit in it, in... in the comic. Ideas I can't quite grasp, concepts beyond me. Shapes bubble and then form structures not belonging to anything real and the comic's unreadable nature becomes cryptic, like a code. I'm soon cracking at it like so many Japanese trying to understand those Native dudes during World War II. My balance falls to the wayside like so much neglected pantheon and it is then that I realize that the A/C is broke, I'm too dehydrated to sweat anymore, and that going without sleep for 73 and counting hours is a hell of a drug. Off to stumble to the store for either a gatorade or to waste the time of some asshole cop.
ReplyDeleteWait, how is 1214 any better than the rest?
ReplyDeletei have no idea
Delete1214 is a plug for yet another random waste of time. I've humoured Randy and gave it one shot, after which i was too bored to try any more. There's just very little achievement in guessing the correct continent for random bits of backwoods road.
ReplyDeleteI found the idea of 1213 mildly amusing, a standardised one-channel test for synesthesia _is_ intrinsically silly, as is a monochrome colour-vision test. But then, well, it feels like 1210 was Randy's own pre-emptive comment on it.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn case anything like this happens again, I want you to know that cuddlefish will alawys have a safe home on xkcd-sucks with a hyphen. Even when Rob gives up on you, I won't. And Hyphen will never have stupid rules that don't allow you to post new comments after 2 weeks. xkcd-sucks will rise from the ashes of xkcdsucks like a badly drawn stick-phoenix.
ReplyDeletehttp://xkcd-sucks.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/picking-up-where-rob-left-off.html
I am not joking. I will continue to post three new reviews per week. You'll see.
I wish you luck and god's speed little buddy.
DeleteI am deeply concerned for you and xkcdsucks Rob.
ReplyDeleteDeeply concerned.
i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do with your concern. is there an instruction booklet?
Deletedude. that was rude as hell.
Delete".......i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do with your concern. is there an instruction booklet?......."
DeleteI like that!
Totally thieving it.
Rob you should provide links to the comics so I don't have to search to see what you're talking about and also you should give images of each comic instead of providing links so I won't be giving free hits to xkcd.
ReplyDeletedo i look like i'm willing to exert any more than the bare minimum of effort
DeleteI insert links to every comic on my blog post.
DeleteNo Jon I can't read that because it is punctuated with hyphens and I do not like punctuation it is bad news.
DeleteSince when hating hyphens became okay - I don't think it's okay.
DeleteThat shitty meme you used on 1219 is kill yourself, and you should kill yourself.
ReplyDeletei was using that meme before it was cool
DeleteWow, you reviewed all of them! Great Job! F+
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I must ask, Rob, why do you persist in this commentary on xkcd?
ReplyDeletethe people demand it
DeleteIt's true.
Deletexkcdsucks is the only thing in some of our lives
Deleteweaselsoup is the only thing in my life
DeleteI've been waiting over 2 years for a date with weaselsoup now.
Deleteif you can make rob go back and fill in the reviews he's missed then i'll think about it
Deletealso what is your name, are you kind to animals, what kind of films and music do you like, ect ect
My name is Fred. I am kind to all animals, even mosquitoes and tsetse flies. My favourite movie is White Chicks, and my favourite band is White Town.
DeleteDo I meet your requirements?
fred has been known to do horrible, violent things to kittens
Deleteforget weaselsoup anonymous 2:18 it's me who really loves you
Delete(or at least some elements of your taste in music)
Ann, I basically like any kind of bleepy bloopy music. Electropop and the like.
DeleteDoes this meet your standards? I assume I haven't impressed Ms Soup.
In 2013, is there anyone not mentally retarded who still takes capitalism seriously?
ReplyDeleteIt is the worst of all economic systems, except for all the others.
DeleteCapitalism does not exist. Anyone who believes in it is a superstitious fool.
Deletesuperstitious for a FOOL maybe.
Deletefoolish for a SUPERSTITION maybe.
DeleteThankfully SMBC is doing cancer comics now so I no longer have to read xkcd.
ReplyDeletemikespants
ReplyDeleteI know we've had our differences, xkcdsucks, but I wanted to let you all know I love you thiiiiiiis* much. Except for Booty.
ReplyDelete*Not to scale
Looking at #2010, I don't think I've seen a greater lack of of self-awareness than this. If I hadn't seen that much blandness in one individual before I wouldn't have believed it was possible. Does he really think he's changed? I like to think it's satire, but I think we all know that for a 'funny' guy, Randy really can't take a joke.
ReplyDeleteDo we really see enough of him as a person to know how well he can take a joke?
DeleteIf it is going to be like that... Could you send some of that unclaimed pussy down here? It doesn't need to be all of it, I think just 75 percent of it will do.
ReplyDelete2011 is probably the worst GOOMH-bait I have ever seen. It leeches actual comedy and sucks it for everything only to remain a disgusting fucking leech pretending to be a Dr. Who joke. It's a disgrace, it's tantamount to sacrelige it's...
ReplyDeleteOh god.
When I started writing this I thought that I was just feeling my old hatred of XKCD arise anew, revigored, rebloodied, but I was wrong, in this instance I admit that I have always been wrong. We hate XKCD not because it's bad, but because it's true. Randall is popular for no other reason than that he is everything nerds are. Sure, we've dusted away the "fake geek" guys into he corner and painted over them with white knights no one asked for, but XKCD is the truth. It's the abyss of our reality staring back. We are actually THAT lame, we are that self-absorbed to shit on everything in the name of fanatcism.
We have met our enemy, and our enemy is -us-.
Excuse me, I have a M9 I've been meaning to use for a while.
A M9? Do you mean an M9, or do you actually pronounce it "mnine"?
Deleteit's actualy 'Doctor Who', not 'Dr. Who'
DeleteI didn't actually realise what she was talking about until I read the alt-text. This is despite Doctor Who and Abbott and Costello being a few of my favourite things.
DeleteI suppose the fans are nonetheless gushing over what brilliant stick figure caricatures have been concocted.
Well if you didn't get it what the hell chance do the rest of us have?
DeleteThis asshole ostensibly writes a "comic" about "...romance, sarcasm, math, and language." and OBSCURE MUSIC HALL ROUTINES! Does Ol' Fuckface really expect us to work out both the setup AND the punchline he's getting at from two orbs on sticks wearing some clothes; when then joke is so massively outside his chosen target audience?
Asssssssssssssssssss!
There's nothing the least bit obscure about the Who's on First bit. It's far more ubiquitous common knowledge than the vast majority of Randall "the actual boston marathon bomber" Munroe's references.
DeleteDoes something "far more ubiquitous" admit extra dimensions?
Deleteundique sum, ubique eo.
You can lead a pussy to Eumesmopo but you can't make her interested.
ReplyDeletePssssssst.
ReplyDeletehttp://xkcd-sucks.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/so-bad-its-meta.html
1223: Someone who can't even cook for himself preaches at us about how to live our lives. Reminds me of the time Steven Spielberg told me I need to change my underwear once in a while.
ReplyDeleteAre you confused? There hasn't been a 1223 yet. 1222 is the latest comic, and it's awful.
DeleteUnless perhaps you're already dismissing the next comic out of hand without even seeing it, which is cool, I guess.
1224: Topical as always. When was the last time anybody even thought about that? Over a year ago?
Delete1225: Stilted dialog, disconnected heads. Alt text explains the joke. When was the last time Randall even tried?
Delete1226: Basic pre-grad mathematics being passed off as deep insight. Sickening to true intellectuals, fascinating to wannabes.
Delete1227: TLDR
Delete1228: Departing from the usual xkcd pablum, ALTF rapes Eumesmopo with a sharpened godemiché tipped with the venom of the Inland Taipan.
DeleteSo the review for 1224 actually applies to 1223. What's wrong with you guys? Slipping? +1 to Randall.
Delete1229: Another poster comic about how awesome birds/dinosaurs are. It's already for sale.
DeleteI don't know what you guys are talking about, 1225 was the best comic in the history of XKCD. It shall be revered by future generations as an example of the power of humor and the pinnacle of discourse in the 21st century. And that shall be reason enough for the 23rd century to retroactively erase us from existence.
DeleteYou idiot! Pussy is not an uncountable.
ReplyDeleteYou can have 'a pussy' or 'some pussies' but not 'some pussy'.
"You can have some pussies"
ReplyDeleteThanks Jon! Use Sedex, please.
Dearest Mr. Jon Levi:
ReplyDeleteWith the phrase "some pussy", the noun "pussy", in meaning, is meant to transcend the literal concept of a pussy being solely an object - countable noun - and encompasses a certain je ne sais quoi. Saying, "Get me some pussy" would be tantamount to saying, "Get me some sex". "Pussy" in this context, instantiates a particular usage different from its standard meaning. I am sure there is a sesquipedalic word which designates this phenome, but I can't be arsed to research it.
Besides, Eumesmopo was referring to "unclaimed" pussy. And, if my male friends are correct, this makes all the difference!
It's Prom time in the Valley. We are fielding requests for corsages for the Bovine Bettys who grace this part of the planet.
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or are high school students getting fatter and uglier as the years progress?
Anyway, here's a recent conversation:
Customer: "I would like a coral coloured rose in my wristlet"
We do not have a coral coloured rose in stock, but we have lots of neutral white roses, so I responded:
Me: "You do know that in the "Bandanna Code" of the Gay Leather Subculture, the colour coral indicates the wearer is a foot fetishist? Are you sure you want coral? I think white would be a better match for your dress."
Customer: "Okay, I guess you're right."
Nyuck the nyuck-fuck!
I never went to my Prom night, but I did buy a corsage. It was a soothing shade of pale yellow. On the night I went for a long drive in my beaten down second hand Ford, masturbated on the corsage, crudely wiped it, and tossed it on the back seat. I returned after midnight.
DeleteYou should have seen the look on my father's face when he walked outside to see me conspicuously attempting to conceal it. So much joy and such intense relief, as though his deepest regret in life was being lifted from his soul. It was the only time I have ever known what it is to have your father proud of you.
I guess the point of the Dwarf Fortress comic is that we're supposed to laugh because it mentions Dwarf Fortress and we've heard of Dwarf Fortress, even though the comic isn't funny and makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny because lolrecursion.
DeleteCaptcha: hothcar absolute
Is that what you call an imperial walker?
Urist McHater
Deleteno its because its really boring to watch someone play a shitty game
Delete