Comics 961-962: So Boring I Forgot To Post

Hahaha, just kidding, I'm just a lazy fuck and was playing computer games.

961. Rumor has it Randy planned on posting another Friday comic in addition to this specific Steve Jobs-related comic. It's a tribute, it doesn't really do much for me. I found the forums on this one kind of amusing in a sad way, but it's very possible that's just me.

962. This one's also pretty boring. I'm just going to comment on the alt text, which seems to imply that 'flight' and 'math' are mutually exclusive. I wonder if Randy knows that flight instruction is actually a pretty math-intensive field? I mean, yes, joke blah blah not intended to be taken seriously etc etc but really. This is a comic where the fanboys constantly praise its creator for his attention to detail (and conveniently forget about his attention to detail every time he completely fails to pay attention to detail).

This also seems weirdly anti-nerd, which is weird since Randy loves pandering almost as much as he loves Megan's delicious milky nipples. "It's impossible to focus on nerdy things when you could be out doing something exciting," says the alt text. I've no doubt Randy's fanboys are eating it up, but still. I don't think I've ever seen such blatantly anti-nerd content on XKCD. This seems telling.

Comic 960: Shipping and Mishandling

[Comic title: Subliminal; alt text: Once you see it, you can't help seeing it every time. Until your body finishes metabolizing the mushrooms.]

Randy would like you all to know that he tried mushrooms for the first time the other day, and it was a very strange experience. He saw all these things he doesn't know how to describe! It was very odd, because Randy is a genius with the written word and artistic expression both. He tried very hard to make a comic that was very funny and that encapsulated the "gist" of his experience, but, well, no one is perfect. Instead he drew a Dalek with two big round holes in it, and a guy catching a baseball, and a guy wearing a Guy Fawkes mask (who is apparently Guy Fawkes himself--it is a little known fact that the Guy Fawkes mask actually originates from the mask that Mr. Fawkes wore when he tried to blow up parliament) who apparently has had two great slashes carved from his skull. The result, if you squint, could read 'FedEx.' To make sure you got the joke, he even used the same colors.

Being on mushrooms, Randy decided, was basically the same thing as lolrandom humor. But how would people know that he had done mushrooms, since he did a lot of lolrandom humor BEFORE he became a more enlightened human being???

Oh wait, he can just tell you, several times, that this is a joke about drugs (lol!!!!) because there is nothing like unnecessary text to beat you over the head with a point.

Comic 959: Christmas Time Is Here

[Noted copyright criminal "The Pirate King" sent me this review for the one about King Wenceslas. So, you're welcome. -Ed.]



So, we've got a christmas carol comic in early october. That's cool I guess, I mean all the stores are gearing up for the holidays so why shouldn't xkcd? Or I don't know, maybe Randall's been working on this one for the better part of a year and finally found the courage to publish it. That would make more sense given this comic's track record with timeliness.

So it's another black hat guy comic. As much as I agree that randall has totally forgotten how to do these, I find them a relief from the usual crap, ie, some horrible pun, nerd reference, or emotional bullcrap. I mean who doesn't like some good ol' fashioned trolling?

That being said, this is a pretty tired joke. It's the setup where one character is trying to tell a joke or be enthusiastic about something, and another character kills it with tragedy, and then the first character feels guilty. "How dare you say that, my father was killed by a _____!" Randall is just putting it in a different context, and one that doesn't make any sense. According to Wikipedia, an infallible source of information on all things everywhere, King Wenceslaus didn't massacre anybody. So check your fucking facts, RANDALL.

I did find a tidbit in the alt text amusing, although not in the dark-humor way that randall intended it. To my knowledge, the phrase "a thousand generations" can come from only two sources; the Bible, or Star Wars. Since Randall has made it clear he is an atheist, I can only assume this is a Star Wars reference; possibly an unintentional one.

Comic 958: Evil Contains The Seeds Of Its Own Destruction

[Comic title: Hotels; alt text: 'Rating: 1/5. Room filled to brim with semen, and when front desk clerk opened mouth to talk, bedbugs poured out.']

This is probably the closest we've gotten to Black Hat Guy behaving in what one would call the "classic" manner if one were completely insufferable. Antisocial self-interest! Randy finally remembered!

Of course, this being a day of the week, Randy's comic is full of problems. Some astute (ha ha ha) commenter pointed out in the previous thread that the inclusion of a script to post negative reviews seems counterintuitive at best. First, it somehow knows when he's staying at hotels, and it automatically assumes he'll like it. But then, since he dislikes hotels sometimes, he often has to go and manually change it. The conclusion that the aforementioned commenter came to is inescapable: the only reason the word "script" is included is so XKCD fanboys could nerdgasm over it.

Then we have panel 3. In this panel, Randy does this thing he often does where he points out the flaws in his plan, but doesn't quite seem to realize it. A single negative review won't drive anyone away from a place. It's pretty hard to find an establishment on Yelp that doesn't have at least one one-star review. Most frequently-reviewed places will have several. This doesn't have a noticeable effect on said establishment's popularity.

As Randy himself observes: "the odds of my review putting a hotel out of business are negligible." He doesn't seem to grasp that the odds of his review having any impact at all, let alone an impact significant enough that BHG is getting noticeably cheaper prices and having a noticeably easier time getting rooms, is also negligible. Perhaps if he were to employ a botnet to make hotels he likes suddenly look like roach-havens? But even then, the loss in revenues would cause a considerable hit in service quality. (Here is the part where people protest that it's just a comic and it's not supposed to make sense and where they probably suggest that I must not like (insert fantasy story here) because it has wizards in it or something. Can we just take that as said and move on?)

The rest of the comic after panel 2 is basically post-punchline dialog--not sure if he's ever done two whole panels of it before. You've got a name-drop of the tragedy of the commons to set up what I guess must be intended as a humorous exchange, and a line that you can tell Randy thought was very clever.

Comic 957: Preoperational Stage of Humor

[Blah blah Ravenzomg guest post and etc -Ed.]

Hello masses, this is Ravenzomg of Ravenzomg fame here to review the latest XKCD for you all before the latest one comes out! So, as usual, this thread will get to be filled with comments on the NEXT comic, and everyone can act confused/stupid! Hurray.

The excitement is palpable, people.

Title: Development. Tooltip: Funding was quickly restored to the NHC and the APA was taken back off hurricane duty.

HEY GUYS, DID YOU KNOW THAT A HURRICANE WENT THROUGH MASSACHUSETTS, HOME OF OUR GREAT AND GLORIOUS MAN-GOD RANDALL, JUST LAST WEEK?

Wait. No, that was back in August.

GOOMH, Randall, I've been watching Hurricanes for the past month, too!

Now, as Wikipedia will tell you, sterile void-creatures in sterile void-rooms do not allow us the sterile void-sympathy needed to sterile void-enjoy 'random' 'humour'.